Exponent II's Blog, page 157

Behind the Scenes in Blogging

Before becoming a blogger, I never gave much thought to the process of blog posts being generated. Sure, I knew people wrote them, but I didn’t consider it beyond that. When I started blogging on my own, I would write in bursts where for a few weeks I would churn out several posts, and then I would go silent for months. I have three defunct personal blogs and one that I haven’t updated since August that I’m not quite ready to declare defunct yet. The only reason I’m able to reliably generate posts here is because I have an assigned day where I’m expected to produce some writing. Just like when I was in school, there’s nothing quite like a deadline to get the creative juices flowing.

And yet, when I came to write this post, I ran into a wall. All the ideas percolating on my back burner have dried up. I joked to a few friends that I wished a blog topic generator existed. Then I googled and discovered that one does. I typed in some key words to see what it turned up, and they were all click-bait style topics like “God Explained in 140 Characters or Fewer”, or “The Next Big Thing in God”. None of the topic suggestions sparked anything, so I started writing about writing to see if something would come out on the other end. Brainstorming for bloggers.

When I was a teenager, I remember a YW lesson about the importance of keeping journals because our journals would be important to posterity. The teacher said that a lot of scripture, the Book of Mormon especially, was just their journals and we would be poorer if Nephi hadn’t kept his journal. Part of me was horrified at the thought of other people reading my journal because it was so personal to me. But part of me was intrigued. Would my writing be scripture to someone someday?

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As I was writing this post, I wondered if the prophets ever experienced writer’s block. Then I remembered a verse in Omni that I rarely give much thought to. Omni is a short book in the Book of Mormon where several successive generations of keepers of the plates document their thoughts and revelations. Some of it is sublime.

And then there’s Chemish. His contribution to the Book of Mormon is a single verse. In seminary and Sunday school, some of my classmates kind of laughed at him, but I can really relate. He said: “Now I, Chemish, write what few things I write, in the same book with my brother; for behold, I saw the last which he wrote, that he wrote it with his own hand; and he wrote it in the day that he delivered them unto me. And after this manner we keep the records, for it is according to the commandments of our fathers. And I make an end.” (Omni 1:9)

Short, sweet, and to the point. Chemish did his duty and didn’t mess around. He didn’t have much to say, but he kept the record going anyway. We owe him a debt; without his efforts, however invisible, to preserve the plates, we wouldn’t have the Book of Mormon.

How many people like Chemish are there in our midst? The people who quietly keep things running in the background, maybe with the occasional mildly sarcastic remark about it, but diligent nonetheless. They get a footnote in history, and we tend to overlook them. So let’s all pause to remember the Chemishes of the world.

And I make an end.

Guest Post: Bring Back the Young Men Presidencies

[image error]by Anonymous

Note: All the opinions within this post are mine and not my husband’s.

In January of 2020, ward Young Men presidencies were eliminated, with bishoprics being given the charge of overseeing the Young Men’s program. When my bishopric first counselor husband told me this, I was concerned. Matt already had a demanding full-time job, three kids ranging from seven to thirteen, and a spouse who has her own job and research to navigate. How on earth could putting even more on the plate of the bishopric work? And would eliminating three leadership positions in the ward’s Young Men program be good for the young men?

Church leaders foresaw that this would be a burden on bishops and bishoprics. In a Church News article covering these changes (along with the welcome news that budgets for Young Men and Young Women would be equalized), Elder Cook is quoted as saying, “The bishop cannot delegate some responsibilities, such as the youth, being a common judge, caring for those in need, and overseeing finances and temporal affairs….These are, however, fewer than we may have understood in the past…. While only the bishop can serve as a common judge, these other leaders are entitled to revelation from heaven to help with challenges that do not require a common judge or involve abuse of any kind.”

Our ward has adapted in some ways, with our Relief Society and Elders Quorum taking on more welfare responsibilities. However, old habits die hard. Members often want to talk to bishopric members and bishopric members want to meet new move-ins in order to get insight into good callings for them, so some of these ministerial tasks that Elder Cook talks about being offloaded to Relief Society and Elders Quorum have not really happened in my area.

Whatever adjustments there have been in terms of ministerial load, they certainly have not been significant enough to balance out what Matt has had to take on with the youth. His church work has become significantly more time-consuming. He tries to go to most Young Men or youth activities (and there are a shocking number of them – even during COVID). He attends every Young Men lesson and teaches every sixth lesson. He goes to planning meetings with Young Men advisors to come up with activities for the Young Men to do. When COVID goes away, he’ll attend Youth Conference and Trek and who knows what else that crops us.

In short, he’s navigating two huge callings. Being first counselor in the bishopric is a serious time commitment with bishopric meetings, ward councils, meeting new member meetings, planning sacrament meetings, staffing organizations, and much more. Add to that the fact that he’s basically now a member of the Young Men presidency, and it’s just too much. I can’t help but wonder how bishopric members across the world are navigating this change, bishopric members that might not have the financial security and privilege that Matt has. If this is hard on Matt, how hard would this be on men who don’t have expendable time and who must scramble constantly to make ends meet?

I’m left scratching my head as to why this change was implemented. Elder Cook justified this change with a scriptural reference to D&C 107:15 which states, “The bishopric is the presidency of this (Aaronic) priesthood, and holds the keys or authority of the same.” However, back in Joseph Smith’s day, youth weren’t called to the Aaronic priesthood, so it’s doubtful Joseph Smith was envisioning bishops becoming youth leaders. I’m guessing President Nelson and the apostles thought that increased attention from the top guys in the congregation will help with male teen retention. But I’m not so sure about that. I would imagine that bishops are usually called for reasons other than being young, fun, outgoing, and creative with youth. If I were a young man, I’d certainly prefer active fun people to be in charge of the program, and not men that are already stretched thin from their other responsibilities.

I’m also concerned with how this policy might change the decision making that goes into choosing new bishops and bishoprics moving forward. If overseeing the Young Men program is a huge part of the bishopric’s job now, will stake presidents be more likely to call “fun” types to be bishops, in the hopes of catering to the ward’s young men? I’m not sure that the types of men that would make great Young Men presidents are always what we would want to be overseeing the whole ward.

As someone whose husband has been a bishop’s counselor or clerk for eight years out my oldest child’s fourteen years on this earth, I can see the advantage of having older men serving as bishops, men who are retired and don’t have caretaking responsibilities at home. They have expendable time and energy and experience. But they are not necessarily (no doubt there are some exceptions to this) the best options for overseeing the youth program. From what I can tell, our ward’s Young Women Program, which has a Young Women presidency as well as class advisors, is planning loads of creative activities months in advance (unlike the Young Men program). And no wonder – that’s a program that’s far better staffed than the Young Men’s, given that that presidency can devote itself to the Young Women program.

Now, to be fair, I can imagine a scenario in which it is beneficial for young men to have the bishopric in charge of their program. Perhaps in some places around the world, where there are only a handful of practicing men in the branch or ward, it would be advantageous to the young men (if not to the over-stretched bishopric) to have three of the most committed men focusing on the Young Men program. But for the many wards that do have men who can take on the work of the Young Men’s presidency, it seems advantageous to all parties have non-bishopric members fill those roles.

Bottom line: this was an interesting experiment, but it’s time to let wards bring back the Young Men presidencies. The pros to doing so are numerous, the cons few. Let’s not make the men who already had the some of the most time-consuming callings in the ward take on the double callings of acting as the Young Men presidencies as well. Let’s not shortchange our young men by handing the program over to men stretched thin already from juggling numerous other responsibilities. And let’s not shortchange our wards as a whole, as bishopric members reallocate time away from ministering to members and towards taking up the time-consuming tasks acting as Young Men’s presidencies.

Black lives matter, LDS leader Dallin Oaks tells BYU audience, and is a cause all should support

https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2020/...

More Utah women are donating to Biden as Trump struggles with female voters

https://www.sltrib.com/news/politics/2020/10/28/more-utah-women-are/

Agency – Eternal and Inherent

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God did not create us from nothing. We are co-eternal beings with God.

I can’t remember when I first became aware of this most inviting and compelling aspect of the Restored Gospel. I was quite young, not yet a teenager.

I found this to be one of the “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy…” things that we were to seek after, to believe and hope for…and even endure.

Often, when I was discussing questions with others about our existence, or progression, or purpose, this understanding shaped my inquiries. This understanding led much of my seeking.

If we have existed forever, as God has, what was it that made us Their children? When did that happen? And how much of what is me, is something They created? Did They determine my gender, or my thoughts, or shape what kind of spirit I have?

Did They give me agency? Could They?

What aspects of me are co-eternal, and have been a part of me for as long as I, or God, or any of us have existed?

Is any of me static? Unchanging and unchangeable?

The more I sought greater understanding, the more I saw that there is nothing concerning eternity that is static. Not God. Not me.

Heavenly Parents became my parents by inviting and inspiring me to greater life and existence. I could not have recognized, wrestled with, or chosen that possibility if I did not have agency. Inherent, eternal agency. This was not bestowed on me by God. I personally think God invited me to recognize, exercise and practice my agency – this being an essential part of encouraging me toward Godhood.

I accepted the invitation, and was born into a new level of existence, following divine beings who had created possibilities I had not seen before.

Agency is an inherent part of my being. It was not bestowed, and cannot be taken away.

Sometimes, I am indescribably moved at how completely God honors this inherent agency.

Sometimes, I am horrified at how completely God honors this inherent agency.

This article is not about when bad things happen to good people. I discuss that in many other places. And will continue to wrestle and weep and bleed over that.

Right now, I struggle with agency, and creation, and progression, and letting go.

I don’t know where to turn, except to the God that inspired me to this existence. And even then, I don’t know how I will ever find enough answers.

This intelligence that is me has no beginning or end. My awareness, and my ability to choose is essential to this. The circumstances of this life can potentially confront, challenge, and require constant practice in me owning, strengthening, and honoring agency in myself and others.

And sometimes, I just don’t feel like it.

I want someone else to decide how to make things work out.

I want someone else to keep bad things from happening.

I want someone else to be in charge. To be responsible.

I want someone else to blame.

And the other option looks pretty good.

The option where everyone will have to do what is needed, and all will be saved. There would be no choice for us to do otherwise.

But if we have inherent agency, we won’t function without it.

Beings that co-exist eternally cannot remove what is essential in each other.

No matter how attractive that might be, it won’t work.

I tried for years, as a parent, to get my children to allow my agency to overrule their agency. Even though I helped in the creation of their bodies, that did not give me power over their agency. The only life-giving impact I had on them that survived their early years was how I conveyed unconditional love to them. Nothing has caused me to need to repent more, than in all the ways I tried to insist they conform their will to mine.

In the repenting, I finally listened to the God who would never force me to conform to Their will.

All I hear from Them is love. They let me thrash through all this. They let my parents, my children, all of us – stumble through all of this. They are there each time I am quiet enough to get it. Still enough to get Them.

I hear so many voices telling people who they are. Telling people what they need to be, think, do. Telling people how they should look, dress, feel, believe. Telling people where they belong, and where they don’t belong.

These voices can be powerful, in families, schools, churches, governments. When people use their voices to tell people who they should be, they are trying to create them in their image. They are using their own words to create people from their own rhetoric, or traditions. Then, by creating them with their voices, they think they can own their agency, their choices.

I thought the same thing as a parent. I helped create the bodies of my children. I must be responsible to make sure they turn out the way I think they should. I need to bend their will to mine, and make sure their lives go as I think they should so we can all be happy.

I can practically hear the same reasoning as people in positions of power create laws and policies that claim agency over another person because of their gender, or ethnicity, or health, or belief, or something that is essential to their being.

I hear parents claim the responsibility and power to declare who their children must be, think, and believe. I cringe to recall my own similar actions.

Regardless of position, or relationship – none of us has the power to create another being, especially not from the nothingness of our own ideology.

We were not created from nothingness.

We have existed forever, co-eternal beings with God and with each other.

The only life we have the power to create is our own.

We cannot bestow or deny agency in each other.

It is inherent.

Trying to impede or deny the power of that essential quality will fail.

I am trying to practice Godhood. To seek greater light and knowledge, to learn wisdom in complexity, to invite and inspire new life, to profoundly honor agency. To weep, as God does, when I see the suffering we cause each other. And to learn unconditional love, even and especially for those I consider my enemy.

How many lifetimes must I live, how many must I create for myself, what must I choose to endure, to learn this?

I lie awake, and wonder.

How intersex Latter-day Saints struggle to stay in a ‘two gender’ faith

https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2020/10/24/i-will-never-fit-how/

Sacred Music Sunday: O Christ Your Heart Compassionate

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I ran across this hymn recently. The tune was familiar – it’s used for Let Zion in Her Beauty Rise in our hymnal – but I had never heard these words to it before. I’m adding it to my personal hymnal. In addition to the upbeat tune, it’s an excellent discussion of our baptismal covenant. The book of Mosiah reminds us that when we enter the waters of baptism, we are expressing our willingness to “bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light” and our willingness to “mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort”. (Mosiah 18:8-9)

Lord, join our hearts with those who weep
That none may weep alone,
And help us bear another’s pain
As though it were our own.

There’s a lot to mourn about these days, and many of us stand in need of comfort.

We are your body, risen Christ;
Our hearts, our hands, we yield
That through our life and ministry
Your love may be revealed.

I’ve always liked the metaphor of the Church as a body. Bodies have various parts, all different but essential. And bodies have a remarkable ability to heal when wounded. There are times when we’re the wounded parts of the body and need time to heal and be ministered to, and there are times when we’re the ones doing the ministering. And both are ways that the love of God is manifest.

Unstoppable: WHO Year of the Nurse and the Midwife

I never planned on becoming a nurse. In fact, when my father proposed nursing as a career, I flatly rejected it. *I* couldn’t go to the local community college to study nursing. Not when my friends (at a math/science magnet high school program) were all posting every university acceptance in the magnet office. 

 

Although, to be fair, I had no idea what nurses did. I had never met a nurse. My persistent image of nurses up to 1990’s was a double-edged sword. Either they were attractive young women in tight white dresses, kowtowing to white male doctors; or they were stern and unattractive older nuns. All wore nursing caps. At that time, I could never have imagined the collaborative environment in which I now work. 

 

However, the image of nurses started to evolve in the 90’s. The tv show ER  was the first that highlighted nurses as complex characters that interacted in human ways with their patients and  physician colleagues. Although the role of nurses was still subordinate to an overarching focus on physicians, these nurses weren’t simply “Yes doctor” droids. The nurses were boldly treating patients, and voicing their expertise, even when they conflicted with the physicians (both female and male).

 

However, I probably never would have become a nurse, if I hadn’t gotten really sick and had to be admitted to the hospital. I had been a healthy child and young adult. I’d never had a broken bone, surgery, or spent the night in a hospital. However, in college I was diagnosed with insulin-dependent (Type I) diabetes, and had to be admitted to the ICU. I didn’t know anything about diabetes, and was heartbroken. As I drove myself to the hospital, I stopped by McDonald’s for a fillet o’fish combo with a chocolate shake. I thought my life was over. 

 

I was in the ICU for several days, as the nurses worked to normalize my blood sugars, acidosis, electrolyte levels, and hydration status; while watching for cerebral edema (dangerous side effect when hyperglycemia is corrected too rapidly). They were incredibly kind, supportive, caring, and knowledgeable. They taught me in manageable morsels about what living with diabetes meant, and how I would be able to manage it. 

 

Learning to live with Type I diabetes has changed my life, not least of all deciding on a career. As a person with a preexisting condition, it would be prohibitively expensive to purchase health insurance: I needed to be readily employable throughout my lifetime. Already a biology major, healthcare seemed the best route, as it combined my affinity for science, and my desire to work compassionately with and for people. Since I was close to finishing, I completed my bio degree, and moved home to attend … yes … the local community college. 

 

In retrospect, I was very lucky. I got into the nursing program at the local community college on the first try, even with the lottery system. My parents had a large enough home and the financial resources to welcome me back. Although my health insurance (through my parents) expired when I graduated university (another reason to keep the ACA), I had access through the cumbersome county program. I dealt with a few major complications of diabetes during this time, but without lasting ill effects, since I was still very young. 

 

As a new graduate nurse, I had unreasonable expectations of what my first job would look like. After several months of disappointments, I adjusted my views, and got my first job as a pediatric intensive care (PICU) nurse at a community hospital, on the night shift. It was strange to be working when the rest of the world was sleeping, but it afforded me the luxury of starting my career by focusing on the work, and not on the red-tape of hospital bureaucracy. A few years later, I made the jump to a top-rated, dedicated children’s hospital, where I’ve been for the past two decades. 

 

Although I entered the nursing field with an associate’s degree (albeit with a bachelor’s in a related field), I did return to school part-time to earn my bachelors of science in nursing, as well as a masters of science in nursing administration, with the extra coursework to sit for the nurse educator exam. I was lucky that my work paid for the majority of my tuition. Currently the field is very competitive. When the economy is down, nurses who have stopped working, or cut down their hours to be home with children, return or increase their hours, or simply delay retiring. These days, it is difficult to get a new grad job with just an associate’s degree, and many new grads at my facility already have an MSN from a combo program. 

 

Although a woman-dominated field, nursing has been extremely good for me. I was lucky to find my niche, although I’m always trying to find ways to grow and learn. Throughout my career, I have worked in hospitals, which offer shifts 24/7, and consistent health insurance benefits. When I made the jump to my current hospital, there was an extreme nursing shortage, and hospitals were offering large hiring bonuses. We still have a nursing shortage, partly due to the high expense of running nursing schools, but the sign-on bonuses are not nearly as large. However, nurses these days have many more options than working at the bedside, including nurse practitioner, nurse anesthetist, clinical nurse specialist, management (midlevel and executive), nurse researchers, nursing informatics, etc. Additionally, there are many roles outside the traditional hospital, including public health nursing, school nursing, outpatient procedures, etc. There are almost as many niches as there are types of people!

 

Finally, having a spiritual background has helped keep me grounded in my work. There are so many unfair things about this world. Believing in the immortality of the soul, a life beyond this one, and a higher power that loves us all, gives me a relief valve for the things that just can’t be explained. 

 

Some things I love about my job:

I get to support children and their families at some of the best times (definitive fix surgeries like kidney transplants, finding the right diagnosis and treatment after previous disappointments) and worst times (traumatic injury, septic cancer patients, child abuse, acute respiratory distress syndrome) of their lives. I get to use my brains and my heart, with measured doses of ICU adrenaline.
I do this work with a team of amazing professionals including my fellow nurses, physicians (intensivists and specialty consult services), respiratory therapists, pharmacists, nursing aides, social workers, chaplains, child life specialists, physical/occupational/speech therapists, interpreters, educators, managers, house supervisors, housekeepers, etc. And since I am at an academic facility, we have learners at all levels, to keep even the most experienced people on their toes. My hospital is a Magnet (ANCC) designee, and my unit has maintained a Beacon Gold designation (AACN) for as long as I can remember.
I have good job stability, and can maintain consistent health insurance. I have the credentials and work experience to get a good position literally anywhere in the US. I do think that I would have gone on to become a nurse anesthetist, if it hadn’t required quitting my job to attend school full-time. I do ponder what great things my country could accomplish, if the citizens had the safety net of quality healthcare to support them in seeking to attain their loftiest dreams.
My job fulfills me, but doesn’t consume me. I have lots of time to spend with family and friends, travel, and work on my personal life. I have been able to cut my work week down to 30 hours a week, which is perfect at this stage of my life. Other options include 36, 48, or 12 hours a week in my area of the hospital. 

 

Things that have required consideration:

As a bedside nurse, I have to work some weekends and holidays. I worked the night shift for the first 8 years of my career. It was tough. I compensated by going swing dancing on my off-nights, and kept a mostly afternoon/evening/night schedule. I then switched to working during the day. The work is complicated by bureaucracy and procedures (surgeries, studies, therapies only done during the day), and I get paid less (no night-shift differential), but my body is happier.
PICU nursing is physically and emotionally challenging, as wonderfully delineated by my friend and coworker. Due to privacy laws, I debrief mostly with my coworkers. Many people outside the field don’t necessarily understand what I do. I’m trying to keep fit (in all dimensions) so that I can continue to work, but am also thinking about the time when I will be too physically tired to do this work, and looking for options that will allow me to continue working until I’m ready to stop.
Especially in the winter, many of my patients have respiratory illnesses. Since I have Type I diabetes (an autoimmune disease), I am at higher risk. Although I am grateful that my hospital has been great about providing PPE and solid strategic planning, I am careful about how I change out of my scrubs at home, and where my work shoes are kept.
I feel lucky to work at a hospital that I am proud of, and that my unit’s management works hard to support the nurses. This is not always the case. My hospital is also where the Versant competency program was developed, so on-boarding of new staff is methodical, evidence-based, and not rushed. I worry about nurses at facilities that do not give a thorough orientation, or where staffing gets dangerously out of balance during the respiratory season (during the winter, or basically all of 2020). 

 

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Last year, just after presenting as the primary facilitator of a session at a national nursing conference.

I definitely took the scenic road during my nursing career, and I’m not done yet. In the past three years, I’ve presented at posters at institutional, local, and national nursing conferences, and have been the primary facilitator for a presentation at a national nursing conference. I wish I had started earlier, but I’ve started now, and plan to do much more.

 

During this pandemic, I’d encourage everyone to take a minute to be mindful. It’s ok to take the scenic route. One of the benefits of being involved in organizations apart from work (like church, community groups, hobby enthusiasts, etc) is that you get exposed to people from a variety of fields. Talk to them. Ask questions. Explore your options. Once you find your niche, prepare and pursue it with passion. You will be Unstoppable.

 

#CopingWithCOVID: Activity Days Mask Lanyards Project

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An adult face mask and a child face mask hang by lanyards on a door.

As my family and I get used to the idea that mask wearing will be around for the time being, we’ve learned ways to adapt and how to be flexible in our worship activities. Whether it be the weekly church block or Wednesday night youth activities, I appreciate leaders who plan activities that allow families to decide what feels safest for them given the risk factors in their lives.

Some parents prefer Zoom meetings; some are more comfortable with in-person activities as long as social distancing will be enforced, and some don’t mind activities similar to those pre-global pandemic. I like this activity because all those families could participate.

Our ward Activity Days girls worked with our local Girl Scout troop to make mask lanyards for the K-5 graders. Mask lanyards are easy to make, and they are handy for kids (and adults). By wearing one’s mask around the neck rather than taking it on and off when eating or during “mask recess,” which at our school, is when kids are outside, socially-distanced, and can take off their masks for five or ten minutes, masks, hands, and faces stay cleaner thereby hopefully, reducing the spread of infection and most certainly, help kids not to loose their’s.

The Girl Scout troop leader dropped off supplies and instructions (see below and here, which I found on Lindsay Sews website. Her clear instructions, video and pictures made this project a breeze). I hosted a socially-distanced lanyard making time one Saturday, and we were able to make 450 mask lanyards for these elementary school kids to given their first day back at school.

This is what we put on the flyer distributed to Activity Day and Girl Scout families as well as volunteers at the elementary school.

Background: Thank you for being willing to make mask lanyards for our students and staff at Tavan Elementary School. Our Girl Scouts are organizing this project to make sure that students can keep their masks clean and remember where they are during “mask recess” during the school day.

Timeline: Our goal is to make 450 mask lanyards by Friday, October 2nd. Also, we need 100 by Friday, September 25th at Tavan for Monday, September 28th. Please let Emily know ASAP if you can have your 40 done by the September date; we can decide whether I should pick them up from your house or if you can drop them off at Tavan.

Your Kit: This bag contains supplies to make 40 masks (though you have enough snaps to make 120, you will run out of cotton ribbon first).

SUPPLIES:

1/2″ wide cotton twill tape
9.5mm metal snaps and setting tool
Clear nail polish
Fabric scissors and ruler (please use your own at home)

Directions:[image error]

1. Cut twill tape to 18 inches.

2. Add clear nail polish to the cut ends to prevent unraveling.

3. Fold over one end and place the female snap parts on either side as shown in the video.

4. Moving down 1″ from the folded end, place the male snap parts on either side as shown in the video, https://youtu.be/3WGvh1GXXY4.

5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 on the other end. Snap mask lanyard to ear loops and wear around neck when mask is not in use.

 

Love One Another

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Recently an anonymous letter was sent out to the Autumn Ridge Ward in Sandy, Utah chastising community members for flying Pride flags in their yards. I’m not going to quote the letter here because it is hateful LGBTQ rhetoric and I’m not going to further commit aggressions toward LGBTQ Latter-day Saints on this site, but you can read about it here.

Kristy Donahoo, an Autumn Ridge resident who is choosing to fly a Pride flag, has said that she knew there had to be at least one LGBTQ teenager in their neighborhood (statistically there is probably more than one) and because Utah has such a high teen suicide rate, she wanted to put up Pride flags for “National Coming Out Day” to let LGBTQ teens know that they are not alone and that they are loved and included.

And isn’t that what Jesus would do? The second greatest commandment according to Christ is to love our neighbor as ourselves (John15:12). Sending out mean-spirited, self-righteous, and bigoted anonymous letters to your neighbors is the opposite of loving them. Flying a flag to let someone know that they are respected, included, and seen is the epitome of loving your neighbor.

I was honestly shocked to read the contents of the letter because I could not believe this was recent. I was shocked by my own naiveté that this kind of hateful vitriol is still so prevalent among Latter-day Saints 12 years after Prop 8. We teach our children in Primary through song to “Love on another” and “Jesus said love everyone, treat them kindly too.” I’m sure the anonymous letter writers believe they are loving people and that they “hate the sin, but love the sinner.” But that is not the pure love of Christ, because the pure love of Christ is charity, and there was absolutely no charity in that letter.

I commend the Donahoo family, and others in the Autumn Ridge neighborhood, for seeking to include instead of exclude and for showing their neighborhood and ward what it truly means to love their neighbors.