Stuart Bone's Blog, page 8

Signed copies sent

The ten signed copies of Driven to Distraction were put into the post today for the winners of my giveaway. For the non-UK winners, please allow a week for delivery.
I really hope you all enjoy reading the novel.

Thank you (Giveaway)

Well that's the giveaway finished. Congratulations to the ten winners. I have been sent your details and will be getting the books into the post either this week or early next week. The majority of them are being sent overseas so will probably take about 5 working days to arrive once I have posted them. I really hope you enjoy the story and would appreciate a review/rating once you have read it.

I would like to thank all 1,369 people that entered the giveaway. I hope you will still get yourselves a copy of Driven to Distraction to read as, let's face it; I could really use the sales. ☺

My second novel, Nothing Ventured, is coming along and should be available by November 2016. I will certainly run another giveaway when that comes out.

Thank you all again.

Technology

I like technology but is it just me that thinks it's becoming ever more complicated or have I just reached the age where my mind can't cope with new stuff?

For example, Virgin upgraded my phone last week to a Samsung Galaxy A3 2016 version. I received the new handset Friday afternoon which gave me the weekend to set it up and get used to it; great. I added my Facebook & messenger, my e mail, and even WhatsApp, which I hadn't used before (I guess I can use the phone to make calls as well; I'd better check). Anyway, so far so good, although I didn't understand why I had a message to upgrade the Apps and other internet stuff on Sunday when I'd only just added them fresh the day before; but I let that one pass.

It's now Monday morning, 11.45am and I have yet to get to work editing my novel as I've spent the morning trying to work out why my contacts keep disappearing off of my phone and why, when I add them back in; I then get two copies. It's not even as if it's all the contacts, only certain ones.

I've checked online and there's talk of syncing contacts with a gmail account and how I have to be logged into google...why on earth can't I just save my contacts to my sim card like before? Who in the iPhone world decided there was something wrong with that? If there was anything on a mobile phone that didn't need changing over the years, it was how to store your contacts.

At the moment I've left my contacts list as it is, with some appearing on there twice and some not; which isn't great and even more complicated when you have contacts with the same name. Imagine the problems that could cause.

Tracy wants to tell Sue B how Sue T's boyfriend is cheating on her...but she sends the text to Sue T by mistake.
Terry receives a confusing text from his mate, Pete, saying, 'Keep your Cumberland Ring fresh for me' because he isn't the contact, 'Terry (the Butcher)'.
Geoff mixes up Carol (Wife) with Carol (Work) and tells his boss exactly what he'd like to do to her with a Cadbury Flake, and a large container of whipping cream this coming weekend.

And all because we can no longer save our contacts list to a sim card.

Moving back to my world, my giveaway ends tomorrow and I must admit, I'm looking forward to sending all of the books out...by good, old-fashioned mail.

Book opening

Well, my last post where I copied in the first scene of my second novel went well. Had some nice, positive feedback and a spurt on Goodreads members adding my first novel to their 'to read' list.

That's really pleasing for me as the opening lines of any story are always the most important, whether it's for someone who just wants to read the story or an agent or publisher looking at a submission.

The opening scene in Driven to Distraction was changed only a couple of months before I published it on Amazon. I'd put the book aside for about six weeks prior to that so I could read it afresh and decided that the original scene of Derek chatting with a group of young lads in a Gents toilet, who were going off on a stag trip, was too long and didn't get enough laughs in at the beginning.

Of course, changing this meant I had to then change other parts of the story where Derek made reference to this first meeting. Still, I do prefer his scene with Mrs Crabtree going off on her Swingers Holiday.

Mind you I did like Derek's confusion in the original scene when he overheard a couple of the young lads say they were looking forward to "riding a big one as soon I get there," and "I'll be going up and down all day." He asked if they were off to the Amsterdam red light district and they told him they were going to a theme park. Well they were a young group.

Extract

I'd like to be able to say that I have something witty and thought-provoking to write in a blog but, to be honest; I've got nothing. Instead I'm copying in the first scene in the first chapter of Nothing Ventured to see what you all think of the unedited opening. I can't stress this enough...it's unedited.
I've not done this on this scale before. The first novel only a handful of people read any of it. It's quite frightening in a way. Here goes: -

Lou had never been involved in an orgy before. She wasn’t quite sure how she’d got here or when she had become naked but it seemed rude not to join in so she decided to try and make the best of it. That cute actor from the Jester’s supermarkets commercial was here too. Granted he was at the far side of the pile of people and currently licking somebody else’s nipple but Lou felt; if she somehow managed to get across to him; he’d want to lick hers too.

Her old Geography teacher, Mr Kendal, was also a participant for some reason; getting right into the action and wearing nothing but a smile. Fortunately the folds of his stomach were hiding the more unattractive parts from view. He caught her eye now and winked lasciviously at her. He used to do that at school too, now Lou thought about it. She had to get across to Pete Crick. It wasn’t going to be easy and that beeping sound wasn’t helping her to concentrate either. Where was it coming from?

Doing her best to ignore it, Lou looked for the best route to get over to Pete. She crouched down and parted a pair of legs in front of her. This looked to be the best way so she squeezed herself through the gap. That beeping seemed to be getting louder, even though Lou was now right in the centre of the throng. Perhaps it was just the noise of that woman’s clitoral piercings clanging together.

She elbowed her way past a pair of very hairy buttocks. She was almost at the other side now. A big part of Pete Crick was almost at touching distance. Lou slowly extended her arm forward. Suddenly the ground below her disappeared. As she began to fall, she reached out for something to grab hold of. Her Geography teacher groaned with pleasure. She screamed, let go and fell.

Opening her eyes Lou saw the familiar, dusty, old, pink lightshade, half hanging off the ceiling light. She stretched out her right hand and switched off the beeping alarm clock, knocking over bottles of perfume and lotion on the bedside table in the process. Silence entered the room.

God, she thought, I feel like shit; and not just because of that last image of Mr Kendal.

Had it been the drinks last night that had caused her to dream like that? They were certainly responsible for the pain in her head. Okay so she did often think about Pete Crick. If a man could still look hot wearing a jester’s outfit while holding a bag of groceries then that’s a guy Lou wanted to meet. And that might just be a possibility. Simon, her manager, had told all the staff at the supermarket yesterday that the actor was touring the country, visiting a number of stores in the Jester’s chain as part of a promotional campaign.

Ah, who am I kidding, Lou thought, he’s not going to come to a backwater like this.

She sat up in bed and groaned, her hands automatically reaching for her forehead. Last night had meant to be a few drinks in The Smugglers after work. Two days ago her five year old daughter, Maddie, had gone to stay with her dad in London for the last two weeks of the summer holiday and it seemed like a good idea to go out for a couple of swift ones; a belated celebration for finally dumping that arse wipe, Chris, a month ago. The fact that it was a Tuesday and they all had to get up for work today hadn’t really entered into the equation. What time had she left the pub? Lou couldn’t remember. What had they been drinking? Lou couldn’t remember.

She swung her legs over the bed and slowly got to her feet, farting rather loudly.

Jesus Christ, she thought, getting a flashback whilst wafting her hands in front of her, I’ve got to stop getting curry sauce on my kebab.

After a long, hot shower Lou didn’t feel any better. Bits of last night kept reappearing in her mind and the back of her throat. As if her head didn’t hurt enough she managed to catch her foot in yesterday’s knickers as she returned from the en suite, which sent her crashing to the floor.

“Oh God,” she said aloud, her eyes parallel with her bra; which was wrapped around the base of the bedpost, “So that’s where I put the leftover kebab.”

Fifteen minutes later, after throwing up, dressing, throwing up again and trying to apply a bit of make-up; Lou was looking at herself in the hallway mirror. Ten years ago she could have partied all night long and gone straight into work looking fabulous. Now it took a lot of effort to make the night before disappear from off her face. Those dark circles didn’t exactly show off the green of her eyes. She didn’t normally scrape her long, brown hair back into a ponytail but she didn’t have time to get the straighteners out.

“Oh sod it,” she sighed, “That will do.” It was only the local supermarket she worked in after all, not some fashionable head office in a trendy city.

She opened the front door to her apartment. Directly opposite stood Diana Carlton, one of the founder members of the Ryan Harbour coven as far as Lou was concerned. She was watering that hideous looking plant she kept by her own front door. Lou hated it and was sure that was the only reason Diana kept it there. Mind you, if she was honest, Lou had done a similar thing with Maddie’s toys; leaving the bulkier items in an untidy pile outside her door for Diana to see every time she left her own apartment.

She was sure Diana was only standing there now because she knew it was the time Lou left for work. The woman didn’t have a job, never had done, so why else was she up this early and immaculately dressed as always? There was probably going to be some comment, Lou thought, about what time she came home last night; not that she could remember what that was or if she’d been noisy. Mind you it was highly likely there had been a song and perhaps a knock at Diana’s door. Still, Lou was in no mood for an argument right now or to feel the force of that withering, condescending stare Diana always gave that put her back up.

“Don’t worry it was only one night out,” she called, as she walked past, “Lots of fun though, you ought to try it sometime. No one was sober, no one was quiet and no one died.”

Lou waved a hand over her shoulder as she continued on through the door to the communal stairwell. If she had looked back she would have seen Diana take a handkerchief out of her sleeve and dab at her eyes.
© 2016 Stuart Bone

Book 2

I've just finished a general read through of book 2, Nothing Ventured, and am so relieved that I still like it and it doesn't need any major storyline changes.

I have a few small adjustments to make in the next read through and then the one after that will be going through the flow of the sentences.

The final check is probably my least favourite when I check spelling and grammar. It's a case of going through the whole book, word by word, to make sure it's correct. You can't solely rely on the spellchecker. It's so easy to write 'he' instead of 'she' for example; which won't show up on it.

My main concern was that the book was easy to follow as there are four stories running through it. That's where being able to put it aside for a few months really helped; I was able to read it fresh this week.

I can't believe how quickly this year is going. Already we are in July which means I have only three months to get this book ready for publishing. That's both scary and exciting.

I feel as happy and excited about publishing book 2 as I did book 1. The thrill doesn't lessen. The front cover is already designed and I look forward to loading it up onto Amazon and to here.

Deadline met

Well, that's it; I've just completed the first draft of my third novel, Long Shadows. The end took me in a slightly different direction as well, which I wasn't expecting but that's one of the things I love about writing.
I had to rewrite the final scene a second time as, when I finished, I didn't get that, 'I'm sad this is over' feeling. The second time I did which, to me, means it's finished right, so I'm happy now to put this aside for the next five to six months while I concentrate on final edits of Nothing Ventured before publishing and marketing online.
I suppose it's strange to have a 'feeling' about a book draft but really, so much effort is put into producing it. I have spent about three months writing this on a full time basis. That's a lot of time spent with the characters and their ups and their downs.
Monday will see me return to Nothing Ventured and, having already spent a year on it, I'm hoping it will feel like catching up with old friends. (I do have actual real life friends too...promise).
I'm already looking forward to returning to book three at the end of the year when I'll hopefully bring some more ideas and characters to the draft and keep on improving it up until its release date next summer. It will be my last time spent with the characters that have spanned two books and also probably my last visit to my fictional county of Tenhamshire. Book 4 will be going in a different direction (still humorous) and I'm hoping it will be the first in a series of occasional novels. It will be more of a mystery type, humorous novel and for that I want the settings to be real life places.
I must admit, it's odd to be talking here so casually about my fourth novel. A few years ago I wondered if I would be able to write one. Having had the opportunity to take a career break to concentrate on my writing has helped me so much. I may have to return to the world of employment soon but this will always continue. Well, there's six, seven and eight to consider.

Characters

I've just finished writing an emotionally-charged scene; the fallout from a revealed secret involving three characters. There was a lot of upset and anger and some terrible things said. I spent about half an hour writing it continuously (editing will come later) and it's surprising how drained I now feel. It's not like I felt the actual emotions of the characters (thank goodness as one character was so angry he ripped a coffeemaker out of the wall and threw it across the kitchen. By the time the book comes out I may have changed that to another kitchen appliance) but I suppose I was a witness to the scene and I guess that would affect anyone.

I touched on characters taking over in a previous blog but yesterday I realised why these blog posts sometimes take me a long time to do. It's because I'm writing as me. Actors often mention about being shy but are able to get up on stage each night because they can hide behind the character. It's the same sort of thing for me as a writer. In my novels, when a character speaks, it's them talking, not me and they can say the most outrageous things or voice opinions that I don't agree with. That does work the other way too and some characters can share my views and opinions but in my blog there is no hiding and I'm always aware of that when writing it.

There are blogs and Facebook pages that have been set up as being written by a character and that's a very tempting thing to do. I thought about what a blog written by Shauna, the courier from Driven to Distraction, would be like. She doesn't care what she says or what people think of her and that's very liberating for me, as a writer. Her blog would be outrageous but funny, because she's a fictional character. If a real person shared her opinions and her somewhat colourful expressions and language it would no longer be funny.

It's an idea for the future. Shauna is definitely my favourite character in Driven to Distraction but I don't feel she's a protagonist for a novel. However, if she proves popular perhaps she could write her own blog one day, or review my future novels...actually that might not be such a good idea. I hate to think what she'd say about them.

Eventful weekend

It's certainly been an eventful few days. I managed to get to my friend's house on Friday after the local floods and enjoyed a Chinese takeaway and rather too much red wine; Sunday saw a local fete at a nearby country park and...what was the other thing? Oh yes, we decided to leave the EU.

I'm not about to start mentioning political views here. I've heard of a number of people voicing their opinions on Facebook and Twitter and receiving some pretty nasty responses. It all still seems to be up in the air at the moment anyway but I just hope the UK will unite together to make the best of whatever the final outcome is.
Like everything in life there's good and bad points for every decision made and everyone has their own opinion and their right to their own opinion.

Anyway, I must get back to being funny. This is the last week to get that first draft finished of novel three. Next week it's back to editing number two. I know it's the right time because I've started thinking of scene changes and new funny lines that I want to put in it. It always happens that way for me. If I find myself thinking about the next project then the present one must be reaching its conclusion.

For those of you that have already read Driven to Distraction, in book 3 you will discover a lot more about the pasts of Derek, Angela, Dora and Margaret. There are a lot of family secrets out there; that's all I'm saying.

Why bother planning?

I'm going through one of those periods where whatever I plan to do, something else comes up.
With all the local flood news I've heard today with rivers bursting their banks my trip to see a friend in Chelmsford tomorrow might not be happening now.
Not that I can really complain when people are dealing with flooded houses and having problems getting to work or even just getting out and I'm moaning about missing an evening of drinking lots of red wine and eating a takeaway.

What I was actually referring to re plans going awry was finishing the first draft of book three. My initial deadline had been the end of May but I lengthened this to the end of June, which is fast approaching. I've really got to stop then as I've already announced the release of my second novel in Oct/Nov and I must do final edits. I've not read it since March, when I concentrated on getting Driven to Distraction published. As book three continues that story I thought it a good idea to get a draft of that done while the first book was fresh in my mind.

I really hope I still like Book 2 (Nothing Ventured) when I read it again. It has four stories running through it but they are all linked together and I've worked hard on trying to make it easy to follow. (That will be the first check when I read it again).

Anyway, back to book 3. The first draft has been quite tough to write as I had several situations that didn't quite work and there was a lot of going back over bits and adjusting, but by the first week of June I had it sorted and that's when I thought I'd extend the deadline for finishing off the draft. A whole four weeks; that should be plenty of time...

Okay, so I fell ill and lost a week. I still noted down some ideas and was ready for week 2. Then I decided I really ought to set up an author page on Facebook and a profile on Goodreads. That shouldn't take too long. Oh look, I can also set up some advertising. I just have to enter a few details. Oh, the internet has frozen; I'll just reboot that. Oh, all of my data has disappeared; I'll have to enter that again. How long has this twenty minute job taken now; hmm, three hours.
Yes a giveaway is a great idea I'll just fill out all the information and then publish it...oh; the site's only recognised my eBook; not the physical copy. Okay I'll just add that. Where has my front cover gone? I'll have to upload a separate one. Oh, all the information I've added for the giveaway has now disappeared. I'll have to start over again.
(Okay it wasn't quite as calm as that and I have left out a lot of the swearing).

Even this blog takes more time that I had expected. I work out what I want to write about and start. Then I change my mind and think about something else. Then I read back what I've written and start changing bits. Then I have to edit, sometimes looking at words and thinking, 'What the hell is that supposed to say?' I can't even blame predictive text; it's purely my typing.

Today's delay came with a kitchen drawer that wouldn't open because a butter knife had somehow wedged its blade through the wire mesh of the cutlery tray and the handle was stuck right up in the air. It took an hour of trying to take off the front of the drawer, poking other utensils through the gap to try and move this bloody butter knife, which I believe used to belong to a set my nan had; so it's got to be at least sixty years old. In the end I had to get the metal stand that the toilet rolls sit on from the bathroom as that was the only thing long enough and sturdy enough to fit through the gap to give the knife handle a bit of a whack. Eventually the gap in the drawer widened just enough to force my hand in to get some proper leverage on the knife. It's been two hours since then and my arm is still red and I can't put my watch back on. That sodding sixty year old butter knife hasn't got a mark on it. They really did make things to last back then.

Right, now back to the draft...well, perhaps I'll just have lunch first.