Rae Roy's Blog, page 37

Make-It Monday – Branching Out

[image error]This week’s theme is “Trees.”

Trees are often in competition for resources. The taller trees get more sunlight and they are the first to make contact with the rain that helps nourish them. Animals seek shelter beneath their boughs. A more runty tree that has unfortunately found itself planted underneath it is unlikely to thrive.

But lightning will strike that big tall tree first and potentially kill it.

I had an epiphany this weekend after chatting with some friends. I’ve been feeling rather scattered as I applied to any job that I could possibly do. It’s made it quite difficult for me on the resume front.

I decided to sit down and think about what I’d really like to do and I’m now pursuing one path more than others. This path will make use of all my skills, pay my bills, and allow me a reasonable amount of work-life balance that won’t leave me so exhausted by the evenings and weekends that I won’t be able to pursue my writing projects and my internship.

All that said, I’m feeling way better. My mindset is positive once again.

I’m now halfway through the edits for The Page & The Magician. Once it’s done, I’ll be doing a grammar check before getting back in touch with the publisher to see if I can resubmit.

I feel like I had been branching out a little too much and lost focus. The branching may have been necessary for growth and to find my path again, so it wasn’t a waste.

Anyway, I got up early today and applied for several jobs with a new resume. My goals have shifted slightly for the best of reasons.

Oh, I even voted in the advanced polls for our next provincial government. This time, I voted for something rather than against or out of fear. It made me feel better than any other time I’ve voted in the almost 20 years I’ve been voting. And now I can pretty much ignore election related news until the election is done on June 7th.

R~

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Frisky Friday – Delicate Fun

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Often, the most gentle of touches can be the most titillating. Of course, it depends on what one likes.

Sensations can be heightened in a few ways, so delicate touches are more engaging. Ice, hot wax, and spanking are some of the ways people make this happen.

It turns out that pain and pleasure are not completely different in the brain. That’s old news to some and unknown to others. They overlap. For some, that overlap may be greater.

Now some of you might be conflicted about this whole idea. It’s bad to hurt others. Well, this is a grey area.

If they want to be spanked, there’s a big difference between beating them and doing it in an enjoyable way. Some of it is figuring out what they like and where pain stops being fun for them.

As a general guideline, when spanking, smack their bottom until it stings a bit. Then run that feather you might have found in that little sex kit you bought that time or your fingers gently over the area. For many, the butt cheeks are an erogenous zone, so your partner may just find themselves incredibly turned on, even yearning for more. Or they might not enjoy it at all.

Ask them.

Everyone is different and someone might like a little kink like spanking while others are into hardcore stuff and others want no pain at all.

Oh, and if it’s all new to you, don’t be afraid to say so. Maybe you’re just interested in dipping your toe in. Maybe it’s all new to your partner too. Read about it. Check for some videos. You can even go to Sexapalooza when it’s in town. I haven’t made it to one of those yet, but who knows what the future may hold.

Whatever you decide to get into, have fun. That’s what it’s all about. If it’s not fun, you’re doing it wrong.

Well, this isn’t where I thought I’d go with today’s post, but here we are…

Have a terrific weekend

Warrior Wednesday – A Delicate Touch

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What I find hilarious about some people is their certainty that they are in the right about something they have little to no experience with. These are the same people that spend much of their time judging others’ ability and life experience based on superficial things like age.

The warrior knows better.

The warrior knows that even the most gentle person may carry within the ferocity of a tiger. A tiger knows they can disturb you enough with nary a look that strikes to your delicate core while they walk away. They’ll go achieve something important while you’re left wondering if they’re stupid. One may think they’ve won though they weren’t even playing the game.

Musashi and the Oar reminds us that delicacy often goes much further than force. This is another thing reinforced when practicing the life-giving sword. Fragile egos are something dispensed with by the serious practitioner. Without the ego, one is truly open to experience all aspects of reality instead of living in a fantasy world.

Those who live in reality tend to be more successful in all areas of life. Those who don’t, envy them. If one spends all their time refusing to deal with their own weakness, they will never achieve the things they desire. Everything around them seems unfair because they aren’t willing to dig deep to do what is necessary.

A seed is protected by a hard outer shell. It remains hard until planted and watered. The delicate sprout within will burst through the softened shell. Most will not survive the harsh wind. Of the few who do, only some will grow into robust plants able to fully carry out their purpose. It’s a hard life as a plant.

Fortunately, as humans, many of us have greater control over our own success. We have the choice to whine about the people who are successful, to let our jealously of their success overtake us, or to see what we can learn from them to further our own progress.

Even a writer such as E.L. James knows something I don’t when it comes to producing a book series. I may dislike her writing, but it doesn’t change the fact that she IS a best-selling author. I don’t have to agree with her work to know that she has something to teach.

Of course, it can be hard to open up oneself enough to learn from someone you don’t respect. I wasn’t good at it at all in the past. Today, I find that if I learn even one thing that can level up my skills, it’s often worth it. This is part of why I have friends from all over the political spectrum and from so many different lifestyles. It gives me far more information about every issue rather than sitting in a circle in some vacuous silo.

The beginner’s mindset is one of total openness. That’s not to say one should forget everything they do know, but to use a delicate approach when letting anyone know you know some things. Delicacy can help one use the proper level of respect and that goes far with many people. I have to admit, I screw up here sometimes. I’m still working on this. The people I have difficulty with are few and far between, yet I still work to improve because it’s important to me.

A delicate touch also changes depending on who gives it. It’s also quite a different thing when that touch is from a sword as even the most gentle of touches with a 2-3 foot razor can cause lasting damage. That’s why the preference to keep swords sheathed and resolve conflicts without ever drawing.

As an Iaido practitioner, I HAD to mention swords…

There are times to be soft and times to be hard in martial arts. The warrior knows when to use which and how to apply that knowledge to other facets of their life.

R~

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Theatrical Tuesday – Delicate Writing

[image error]For the record, Tuesday is the other day I’m thinking about scrapping. It would give me the time I need for other things and I also often don’t feel like writing a blog post on Tuesdays.

That all being said, I figured that today I could talk about writing about delicate subjects.

Now, I’ve done this a number of times. One of the writing gigs I got was because I could write about such things as palliative care with the right level of delicacy. This is something I have learned because of my past social work education.

And it transferred well to handling a sensitive topic for my play Crisis.

That’s not to say I always get the tone right. Tone is so very complicated because it’s not just about the situation, but the specific character in the situation.

For example, when writing about a death in the family there can be a wide range of ways someone might respond depending on their relationship to the deceased, what is going on in their life at the time, and a myriad of other factors. Some people will collapse to the ground sobbing. Another might immediately reach for something that soothes them like drugs or alcohol. Others may simply frown and say that it’s unfortunate then launch into some wild story of the shenanigans they used to get into when they were young. Get several of those people together in a funeral scene and that makes for some possible story conflict.

I unfortunately have a lot of experience with death. My first funeral happened when I was 6 years old. It was my grand mother, though we were raised believing she was our aunt. And after that, nearly every year someone passed away in my family. That’s one of the realities of having a large family. My dad had 15 brothers and sisters. My mom had about half that. Well, technically they were all her aunts and uncles. Anyway, I’ve spent a lot of time at wakes and not really at the funeral itself.

Some topics are so delicate that many recommend staying away from entirely. Topics like any kind of theorizing about what causes autism, for example. I’m unsure that is helpful though. Perhaps the more theories out there, the more people are working on finding a solution?

Back to the death thing. It’s odd to me that movies and TV focus mainly on showing people as sad. I’ve been to wakes where the spouse was utterly devastated and died soon after of a broken heart. I’ve been to others where the wife was completely fine and even relieved to see their loved one was no longer suffering. I’ve also seen a twin at their twin’s wake and that is sadder than anything else I’ve ever seen.

My own first experience was strange. My “aunt” was always yelling at me. I was a little bit of a wild child who climbed on the cupboards to get to the cookies

Make-It Monday – A Delicate Time

[image error]First, an announcement.

I’m excited! I woke up this morning with an epiphany. Last night, I realized that when I’m employed again, I won’t have as much time for this blog.

I also thought that it was silly to wait until my life is more chaotic when I could use the time now for my writing projects.

I’ve been struggling with this for awhile now and wondering what to do about it. I hope you won’t be sad, but Thursday’s posts are being retired. Why Thursday? Because going forward, instead of one day a week where I talk about thoughtfulness and gratitude, I want to infuse it in every post I do. I want this blog to be a place of positivity. Not so much positivity that it is unbalanced and hiding from reality, but a place where that underlying vibe is throughout every post. An atmosphere of gratitude.

There may be another change later on when I figure some other things out that are rolling about in my brain.

On to today’s post.

In order to weather storms, one must know when to push hard, but also when to be soft on themselves.

This weekend was a long weekend in Canada. Today is Victoria Day, which is also known as the May 2-4 weekend because it always happens on a Monday near May 24th and it’s the first major party weekend leading into summer.

Given my current employment status, I spent part of it applying to jobs.

A good chunk was a break though. I needed to have some time to sit and think about what I really want. What I want and need now and what I want my future to be like.

What I came up with is that I want a job that lets me earn enough money for my expenses and to both pay down my debt and put money aside for things like getting my play Crisis out into the world. I’d love to be living off my writing full time, but it’s not necessary to be happy and healthy. As long as I have some time on the side for my writing and martial arts, I’ll be heading in the direction I want to be in. I want this job to use my background well. I’ve a number of skills and I can really help make a difference in an organization if they’re on board.

Here is my current goal list:

Find employment: Continue applying to jobs to achieve this. Note – I took a brief breather this weekend because I was feeling burned out.
Get The Page & The Magician published: Finish editing and resubmit. Note – I spent time on this this weekend. I’ve noticed such an improvement in my writing and editing skills since before school

Frisky Friday – Teeth in the Bedroom

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All right readers. I don’t know if you’ve been excitedly anticipating this one, but here goes.

There are a few ways to use teeth in the bedroom.

For some people, a bite in just the right spot can be a mega turn on. Wondering where? Shoulders, bums, and the nape of the neck. Given that nipple clamps are a thing for some, there might be a gentle way to nip, but I’d be careful with that one.

This should go without saying, but just in case, never use teeth during oral sex unless your partner asks for it.

If you’re wondering about braces in the bedroom, check this link out.

There’s also a couple of fetishes involving teeth. Seriously, some people love looking at teeth THAT much. I can’t help but wonder if they’re dentists…

And, um, there’s also toothless oral…

In Canada, we’re heading into a long weekend known as May 2-4.

Lots of play time if you want it

Thoughtful Thursday – Dental Access

[image error]I haven’t made use of it yet as I discovered it only this week, but there are free dental screenings in Ottawa for people who have a low income. I’m not sure what happens at these things, but I imagine they’re rather like the once or twice yearly visits we had in grade school from the health unit where they checked our teeth.

Anyway, I thought I’d mention that in case anyone is in need. There is a schedule with the locations listed and I’m guessing it’s hard to get there early enough to get seen, but I’ll check it out soon.

I’ve been using dental products that are supposed to repair and whiten. I’m unsure they are working, but I figured they were worth a try. Also, I hear if you add activated charcoal to your toothbrush before the toothpaste, it helps whiten too. It makes a hell of a mess, but I tried it. I think it might take a while to whiten, but my teeth are definitely cleaner, so I think it really does help with plaque. Activated charcoal is also good for helping one feel better sooner after an allergic reaction, but if you’re going to ingest it, you need to drink a lot of water with it.

It’s no secret things aren’t perfect in my life right now. I’m in dire need of a job, but at least my teeth aren’t falling out of my head. Also, earlier this month, I caught my toaster oven in time before it could burn up my condo unit, so things could definitely be worse. Thankfully, a friend gave me a replacement she wasn’t using and so far it’s working out.

Something good will happen soon, and until then I’m going to grin and bear it.

R~

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Warrior Wednesday – Mouth Guards

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I was briefly thinking about the gruesome side that I could’ve went with in writing this post. Given that I write some horror, it could’ve been pretty gory.

Instead, I decided to talk about mouth guards. Surprisingly, I haven’t seen their use in any of the martial arts I’ve practiced including karate and jiu-jitsu and they probably should be. Now, usually in sport martial arts there are rules against punching in the head, but it really only takes a fall to smash one’s face into the mat and mess up one’s smile. Tooth repair is expensive and there are better badges of honour to achieve.

In roller derby we always wore them. The first one I had was a cheap one from a department store that is boiled. The protection level was good, but I couldn’t talk or drink water with it in. Let’s face it, during a game, communication can make all the difference in a win.

Once I could afford to, I switched to a SISU mouth guard. They’re thinner and highly protective while allowing drink breaks and speech. A bonus to them is that they only need hot tap water to form and can be easily reformed if your teeth shift.

When you’re rolling about on the floor and taking out someone’s legs, it’s possible one of you will break a tooth.

Kendo doesn’t use them here that I’m aware of, but though they get hit in the head with a sword, they don’t get hit in the teeth usually. Accidents happen sometimes, of course, but it would probably be overkill to bother with one. The real scare with Kendo is concussions. When one is getting hit repeatedly in the head, even with a helmet on, one can end up with a concussion.

Mouth guards should definitely be used if one is planning an MMA career. One’s ears are already going to turn cauliflower, so one might at least be able to chew their steak after a win.

Of course, it’s no surprise to me in arts where water breaks are akin to weakness that mouth guards aren’t popular. More on that separate issue another day.

Sorry I’m late on this by the way. I’m quite busy trying to get myself employed, so I don’t lose my home. It’s getting scary. Just a glimpse into my own personal battle right now. This means I’m missing out on the Guelph Spring Iaido and Jodo seminar weekend this year. I’m sad about it, but I’m meeting someone about an internship, which may lead to money down the road. At least, I hope so.

R~

 

Theatrical Tuesday – Teeth the Movie: A Review

[image error]Synopsis: A young woman who grows up near a nuclear power plant develops teeth in an unusual place. Yes, it’s the place you think it is. Because of her unusual situation, she’s a natural-born student abstinence educator in her school. Okay, that’s my take on it. Here is the one from IMDB:

“Still a stranger to her own body, a high school student discovers she has a physical advantage when she becomes the object of male violence.”

[image error]Writing: The plot is based on real urban legends that the Hindu, the Ainu, the Shinto, and the Maori tell. They all have their own take, but in this film it’s basically a toothed vagina that only the bravest hero can conquer with his penis. The idea is silly, yet the movie is a serious horror that knows it is a bit ridiculous. The writer got the tone right. We see Dawn reacting in silly ways that are completely believable for a teen girl who has to take an unusual path to womanhood. It’s also well-paced. I never felt bored or so over stimulated that it was hard to tell what I just watched. It unfolded perfectly. The ending was a little predictable, but I thoroughly enjoyed it anyway.

Acting: The acting was about average for a teen movie except for the protagonist. Jess Weixler played the role of Dawn convincingly. Everyone else was just okay for me.

Effects: There weren’t a lot of effects, mostly blood though it wasn’t overly gory. The soundtrack was decent. The camera shots were well done and I base that on not noticing them. I was never pulled out of the film by problems like too much shaky cam.

Overall: I think this horror was disturbing and a little funny. It’s well worth the watch though some may want to divert their eyes during a couple of scenes, especially if you are phallus-equipped. If you’re looking for a serious scare, this one won’t do it, but if you want something milder, go for it.

R~

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Make-It Monday – Teething Pains

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This week’s theme is… Teeth.

I know it’s weird, but it’s what I pulled out of the “hat.”

So goals related to teeth…

My goal for my teeth is to have them not fall out of my face. Someday I hope to have the money to make them look nicer. I make less saliva than other people, so I do struggle a bit with my teeth. I’ve had to reduce my sugar intake a lot over the years. I mostly drink water and drink my juice watered down.

My teeth have been fully sunk into job hunting lately. I know that’s a stretch for connecting teeth to jobs, but maybe having nice teeth helps one get a job? On the job front, I had a skills test and am waiting to hear on a potential interview if I passed the skills test. I’ve applied to at least as many jobs as there are teeth in my mouth. I have all but my wisdom teeth, so that’s more than a few. Just as teething is painful, yet temporary, so too will this stage in my life be.

There are many articles online that talk about teeth and their link to attractiveness. Some go down to the minute detail of how each shade affects attractiveness. And maybe that’s because there is a link between good oral health and heart health. Maybe some people can instinctively sense that?

I think it’s a fair segue into a brief political mention. In Ontario, it’s campaign time. One of the platforms of the NDP involves dental care. Like anything, some are on board with this and some are vehemently against this idea. Being rather centrist, I hate all of it. I don’t want people unhappy because they have to pay for others to have some basic preventative health, but I don’t want people suffering because they can’t afford basic things that may actually reduce the overall strain on health care either. It’s times like this that I’m thankful our campaign time is nowhere near the length of the US Presidential Race because it’s already annoying and it has only been a couple of days.

Okay, I don’t think I can legitimately link my writing updates to teeth, but I’ll give it a try.

Novels

– I’ve been tearing through The Page & The Magician. I’m looking forward to resubmitting it. After that, I’ll likely get back to one that does involve teeth, The Blood Waitress Club.

Screenplays

– After submitting my screenplay to a contest and getting feedback on the first 10 pages of Puppy Chow, I learned that people in Hollywood don’t bite. I got a mix of confirmation, encouragement, and suggestions for improvement. I’m shelving it for a little while because it’s good to put things away to stew a bit, so they’re nice and tender before one bites down on them again. In the meantime, I’ve started plotting my next feature and have quite a lot to go on the protagonist’s character sheet. I’m biting into this one deeper than the last. I haven’t decided if it will be a comedy or much darker than my last yet. I think it might be good to go darker with this one.

Plays

– I will be working on Crisis soon, but I think I’ll do it after I finish the edit on my novel as it will take me a lot of time to have the money to consider getting Crisis produced. I plan on doing more with The Rat Race also. Maybe there will be teeth in it…

Songs

– I came across my goals list from the beginning of the year and I got a little off track on this one, so I hope to get back to it. My music skills aren’t where I need them to be, but I think I could borrow someone else’s chops and do some fun collaborations someday.

Otherwise, I’m just nibbling away at cleaning my house, learning French, and improving my writing skills.

R~

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