Rae Roy's Blog, page 35

Make-It Monday – Are You Willing to Work?

[image error]I watched one of those 60-second documentaries on Facebook today during a writing break. It was about a 77-year-old ballet dancer named Mrs. Poole. She talked about how ballet isn’t easy, but has to look it. It takes a lot of discipline and it’s a lovely feeling to work hard, but enjoy it.

Gee, what else have I heard this about? Writing? Yep. Martial arts? Yep! Music? For sure. It’s almost like everything worthwhile in life requires hard work or something.

I’m reading Ed Sheeran’s book right now where he says he grew up with virtually no TV or video games and devoted his time to learning the guitar. He sucked at school, but he and his dad went to tons of concerts and he listened to a lot of different artists. He was terrified to do his first ever performance, but it went well, so that encouraged him to continue. Had it went bad, I guess we wouldn’t have Ed to listen to now?

It seems like everyone who gets anywhere has to put a lot of work in and has to sacrifice to get where they’re going. Ed didn’t have a lot of friends growing up and he’s kind of busy these days too. There are undoubtedly times he has to be doing something related to his music instead of hanging out with buddies.

Most people can’t make those sacrifices. Some have a small circle so they can make time for it all.

A man I dealt with at the bank the other day told me he used to write, but doesn’t feel like he has time now. He was working until 4pm and couldn’t find time? I’m a writer, a martial artist, a background actor, and an occasional Uber delivery driver. If you want stuff, you can find the time.

What the last handful of years has taught me is that very few people truly support others in their ambitions. It’s better to have a small circle of people who truly care than a large one filled with faux friends no matter where you may or may not be headed.

And of course, sometimes there’s just not enough time to make time for others when you’re job hunting, renovating, writing, and doing martial arts. I haven’t even had time to play my guitar much lately, which makes me sad. I’ve also missed a number of martial arts days and evenings because it’s been too hot to practice in a dojo with no a/c. Yesterday, I was a bit dehydrated from working around the house the day before.

Once the heat breaks, I’ll be able to push forward on the living room. I’m trying to be sure I’m passed the dehydration before I hit it hard again. It’s supposed to cool down tomorrow, which will help. I got the small wall by the door pretty much done, though the cord channel is being difficult. I haven’t decided whether or not to paint the door or leave it the grey it is. I’ll probably change the handle either way to match all the others in my condo. I keep pushing a little closer to the vision I have in my head. Each step is progress. Right now I’m boxing up the books I’m keeping and getting ready to go through the things I’m not sure about. I know some will be pitched out.

I dreaded decluttering for a long time, but now that I’m doing it, I’m excited. The cleaner it gets, the more alive and happy I feel.

Things are progressing on the job front, though I don’t expect to hear much this week. Thursday, I’m supposed to do some background acting for a Christmas movie. Yes, they’re filming a Christmas movie in July because it needs to be ready for Christmas. Movie magic makes it possible.

Anyway, time to make a late lunch, then back to work.

R~

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Frisky Friday – The 13th

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It’s Friday the 13th.

I can’t remember if I ever saw the first Friday the 13th movie before or not.

So far it seems more about making out and sex than it does about the slasher.

Bum grabs, moaning…

Older movies are always fun because you get to see how much things have changed and how much they haven’t.

To me, it seems the sex is less graphic, but more passionate. I’ve seen way more funny sex scenes in horror films as of late than I have seen serious ones.

Oh, there’s the killing. It was just a semi-slow build up.

In Friday the 13th (1980), it really pulls you in the different directions. One minute it’s a fairly steamy moment and the next it’s horrifying and bloody.

I’m off to enjoy this classic horror film.

Have a good weekend!

R~

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Warrior Wednesday – Slow Progress Isn’t No Progress

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My life is in a hurry up and wait stage.

I’m waiting on my debit card for my personal bank account to come. It seems I can’t deposit my HST credit cheque into it until it’s here.

I have a meeting later today about my self-employment related account, so at least I’ll hopefully be able to get some other things moving. I have to go to a different branch because the one I was supposed to go to is having server issues today. Of course. This is my life right now. At least the other location isn’t far.

When I started writing this post last night, I was also waiting to hear the next step for work. A couple of days ago, I had been told there was some sort of form to fill out, but I hadn’t received it yet. This morning I found the link to put in my details for a background check. It was a little longer for me to fill out because I have several post-secondary papers and because I moved around a lot during the year I was going through a divorce. Past applications for security clearance taught me to keep that info handy at least or it would’ve been really painful.

I’m feeling better now that something is moving along.

I know when I start taekwondo, I’m going to be frustrated. It will be hard because I haven’t done that kind of exercise in a long time. I may be in somewhat decent shape for iaido, but I could be better for that too. Taekwondo will use different muscles. Eventually, I expect the two together will make me better at both. I sit a lot as a writer and office worker, so my hip flexors get tight and my glutes are weak. This is bad for posture, which is a major thing in iaido. Those issues will be made better with taekwondo.

Anyway, I may be waiting on a number of things, but the weather is cool enough that I can proceed with some painting in my living room, so I think I’ll be working on that later today. It’ll be nice to have that done before I go back to work full-time.

When I’m not worried about food, I’ll make myself a little zen garden area on my balcony. It wasn’t a great place for a vegetable garden, but I think a nice little meditative area would be great for reading and relaxing. I might need a plan for windy days or anything I put there will be broken. I’m really interested in container succulents, but we’ll see what I can keep out there in the summer. I may have to bring things in during the winter.

Part of me feels like things are moving too slowly, but maybe they’re actually moving at the exact speed they should to let me get all areas of my life in place for what’s coming next.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I celebrated with friends on Saturday. We had a lovely sake tasting adventure where we enjoyed K-Pop videos and fun conversations about anything and everything. I haven’t figured out what I want to do on my actual birthday, but perhaps it’ll be really low-key or maybe I’ll visit a DJ friend at work since I always say I will and never make it over that way.

R~

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Make-It Monday – A New Chapter

[image error]I’ve had a rough time lately. That job turned out to be fake. I lost money I couldn’t afford. My fears of losing my home and ending up homeless became an even bigger reality.

Luckily, I got another real job that will be starting in a couple of weeks!

In the meantime, the experience has encouraged me to put some things in motion, like furthering my decluttering efforts. What I realized is that it was silly I was waiting so long to do some things like setting up an online store for my books.

My goals are going to change slightly now that I’ve been through this experience.

1. Finances

– Acquire two new chequing accounts that come with free savings accounts.

– Pay off my credit card.

– Pay off the remaining amount of the fake cheque.

– Pay off the last bit of my car loan.

– Pay off my student loan

– Continue doing self-employment activities on the side.

2. Home

– New writing space in my living room.

– Finish painting the living room.

– Musical instruments moved to my bedroom where I used to write.

– Dedicate a little time and money each week to a small fix.

– Replace five particle board bookshelves with two pine ones.

3. Fitness

– Space gym workouts.

– Join Taekwondo.

– Continue Iaido.

– Get a scooter.

– Make it to at least one quad skate a month.

– Ice skate regularly once winter is here.

4. Diet

– Make homemade fermented veggies like sauerkraut.

– Meal planning.

– Eat healthier.

5. Writing

– Make and follow a schedule for all my personal and internship projects.

1) Rough social media plan for my internship.

2) Start the comedy sketch for my internship. [done]

3) Finish editing my novel: The Page & The Magician

4) Revise my short film.

5) Finish tweaking the script for Puppy Chow.

6) Work on that other thing.

6. Sewing

– Get one item made each week.

As  you can see, there is a lot to get done in the second half of this year, but I’m up for it. I’m really looking forward to my new job!

Every day looks a little better than the one that came before it.

R~

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Frisky Friday – Fortitude

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Well, it takes a bit of strength to last through all the B.S. I’ve faced this week, but I’m in much better spirits. Perhaps I’ll elaborate on that next week. Friends who read this, know what has been up. Anyway, suffice it to say I had a lot of things to deal with because the job turned out to be a scam. But there is a silver lining because a real job is happening soon.

Lasting power is something usually men are worried about, at least if movies and TV are to be believed.

This may be a newsflash, but I’ve heard some women say they arrive long before their male partner. This tends to happen more as men age. I even know some men who have difficulty arriving at all as they get older. Not intimately, just at a conversational level.

Why is it a big deal?

Well, many people seem to feel like if they don’t ensure their partner gets there relatively around the same time that there is a problem. Like maybe they’re not attractive enough or they’re unskilled. But there could be tons of reasons that have nothing to do with you. They might be stressed about their bills or they could be having difficulty focusing because they had something bad happen at work. They might be chafing rather than feeling pleasure (lube may or may not help). And sometimes there might be no reason, but it’s just not happening tonight. Tomorrow could be a totally different story.

Why?

Because bodies are weird sometimes.

Enjoy your weird body this weekend in whatever way that feels good to you.

R~

 

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Warrior Wednesday – Perseverance

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Life has been a battlefield for me for quite some time. I thought things would be good after my divorce and moving to a new city for a good job. And it was. For a time. Until I was laid off and my position, along with a chunk of my department, was abolished.

So, I riskily spent my remaining assets on the parts of a graduate studies certificate in Scriptwriting because there was at least partially free tuition and I was hating my work. I didn’t feel bad making use of the free tuition as I had been paying taxes for nearly 20 years. Why Scriptwriting? Well, I already know how to write novels and while I could be better at short stories, I’ve at least gotten a couple of those published. Movies are a love of mine and it seemed hard to teach myself the basics, plus there was the benefit of making industry connections.

But since school ended in April, I’ve had to make temporary use of social assistance to survive. It has been better than nothing, but really quite awful and I’ve actually written to one of the new MPPs I met the other day about it in the hopes that others will be helped by some recommended changes.

I say others because today, after sending out upwards of 200 job applications, I have secured employment!

The timing couldn’t be better as next Thursday is my birthday

Special Sunday – Canada Day

[image error]Today is Canada Day! It’s a pretty special day around here and though I don’t usually post on Sundays, I am.

But it isn’t just the fact that it’s Canada Day that made me want to post. I read an article where my friend was interviewed and that is what moved me. It’s an article about Canada as an ideal vs the reality for many indigenous people.

I’ve always been aware of some people disliking natives, but I’ve never understood it.

Maybe it’s because my own family would’ve been pretty screwed without them.

I don’t know the circumstances behind my own family living on a reserve when my mother was born over 70 years ago. It upsets me that I don’t know. There are pieces of our history that have been scrubbed away. My mother was raised by her grandmother and her step grandfather after her real grandfather passed away. Her grandfather was from Scotland and her grandmother from Sweden. She was also raised by her mother, but believed her mother to be her sister. Her own father has been erased from history, so there’s a hole in our family.

The indigenous people and my family lived together on the same land. My mom had indigenous friends growing up and so did I, though I recall my one friend’s family commenting on how it was different that I didn’t care they were native. I thought that was a weird thing to say. We’re all just people to me. Yeah, we do some things different. My ancestors wear plaid kilts and our war instrument is the bagpipes. Other countries bang large drums. We all have different dances. Different, yet similar.

Anyway, my maternal family came over in the late 1800s. They lived on a reserve. Scottish folk traded recipes like Bannock, not that the First Nations people didn’t already have a type of bread, but Bannock is a Scottish word. I don’t know everything else that went down and it should’ve been taught to me in school. Another reason to consider home-schooling…

I have no idea whether or not my family had any role in the ugliness or were just people looking for a new home. Or maybe they were civilians sent to settle there. Maybe they needed work and this is where the work was.

All I know is the Canada I want is one where we don’t run around flinging undeserved, bigoted insults at people. The Canada I want is one where we accept differences because of true tolerance and not just what is trendy.

I agree with Jay that we need to fix real racism like what he experienced. It’s 2018 and we should be done with that kind of crap. Jay should’ve never had to deal with such a woman at the mall.

I always wonder where it comes from though. My dad used to tell a lot of racist jokes, but he was from a town that had fewer people than my high school and there were several high schools in my area. Have these people actually had bad experiences like a person who avoids dogs after being bitten? Are they just ignorant? Are they really just jerks? A combination of the above? Case by case, I think they all have different reasons. Are their own family members struggling to survive and they believe, rightly or wrongly, it’s a certain group at fault? Maybe.

I know my dad is a lot more open-minded after years working at the city with a diverse group of people and having a black doctor probably helped too. Incidentally, that doctor and his family were the first to come to my hometown. I delivered catalogues as a child and one day when a black woman answered the door, I immediately averted my eyes. Why? Because I didn’t want to stare at her because I was taught staring was rude. She probably thought I was weird or rude for not looking at her. Up until then, I had only seen black people on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Family Matters. I was shocked when a little girl on the bus asked if she could touch this young man’s hair and so was her mother, but he was cool with it.

I think part of the way forward will need to be to stop crying wolf. Many things happen that aren’t because of racism that people want to pin on racism today. There can be legitimate security concerns. There can be simple personality clashes. There can be someone who is a better fit to fill a job vacancy because of the cumulative experience they have. There can be people who have been traumatized. I think it’s likely that early on after WWII ended, the average Jewish person wasn’t rushing to befriend a German person because not every real Nazi was found and dispatched or incarcerated. That war still affects a lot of people over 50 years later, yet it is expected that people forget what happened in 2001 only 17 years later while many still grieve for loved ones.

I want Canada to be wonderful. For that to happen, we all need to be willing to talk about some ugly things and consider all angles rather than immediately pointing fingers or having an ulterior motive to win the conversation or make the opponent look bad. That doesn’t solve anything.

We should all want to fix the problems regardless of who created them and who plans to fix them. This is a centrist viewpoint. Remember when people said countries need a strong centre? Lately, the centre has been demonized for not choosing a side. The point of the centre was always to evaluate all aspects before declaring an action correct or not.

Canada is a beautiful country. There are a lot of great things about it, but there are some areas that are immensely broken too. We shouldn’t have First Nations people still without clean drinking water. The average person probably thinks that one news report showing one home on one reserve turning on their new tap as evidence it has been fixed. The problem is larger than just new plumbing.

Media is part of the problem in my opinion. We see articles or video clips and forget to go out and talk to real humans without screens. Some articles are likely geared to encourage us to think things that aren’t true.

From what I’ve seen, the best parts of Canada are experienced offline. Many people hardly log in to social media platforms though they have accounts that are technically active.

Tonight I’m off to a small country celebration far from the festivities on Parliament. These events are where regular people hang out rarely glancing at their phones, preferring instead to talk to each other. Diverse viewpoints are shared without name-calling or violence, which I think is truly amazing. I actually witnessed polite discourse regarding Mr. Orange where the two people disagreed. I didn’t know that could happen!

I got off on a tangent there, but I hope whatever you have planned for today you enjoy it in your own way.

Happy Canada Day!

R~

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Frisky Friday – Sex in a Pan

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For a sweet summertime treat, make Sex in a Pan. It’s no bake.

Here’s a recipe from Chocolate Covered Katie.

I’d probably sub either shredded coconut or quinoa flakes for the oatmeal because oatmeal and me don’t get along well. Daiya cream cheese may be easier to find for the dairy sensitive among you. I really don’t see the need for raisins and I’d rather put some raspberries on top instead. I’d probably use So Delicious Coconut Whipped Cream and Belsoy Dark Chocolate Pudding. I think some people even sub graham crackers for the crust instead of nuts, which come in gluten free, but then it’s practically chocolate cheesecake…

Happy Canada Day weekend!

R~

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Warrior Wednesday – Pans

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1. Music

Pan Flute: This music always makes me think of martial arts films. Maybe I’m just weird because it also makes me think of Chinese buffets like The Mandarin. There are probably a few with that same name, but I went to a huge one in Ontario years ago and it’s that specific one. It can be quite relaxing.

2. Film

Jackie Chan: Of course Jackie Chan has used a pan as a weapon in his films. I’ve seen him use bamboo chutes, ladders, and many other household items, so I wasn’t surprised by this.

3. Legendary Martial Artist

Pan Qingfu: Grandmaster Pan was the man with the iron fist. He attained legendary status by age 30 having become proficient in over 20 styles of kung fu and studied with 15 masters of Chinese fighting arts. Pan Qingfu was one of China’s most respected martial artists. He was adept at knocking his opponents out and it is believed he never displayed his full power. He last trained students in Ontario, Canada before his passing.

4. Martial Art

Pankration: An ancient Greek submission style martial art with very few rules. More than a sport, it was practiced by many Greek and Spartan soldiers. It was said to be a combination of boxing and wrestling. Sounds a bit like the first MMA to me. It was also put to use in their mythology. There’s a documentary on it.

5. Tournament

Panamerican Internationals: An international sport karate tournament that is world renowned. This year it’s happening in November in Miami, Florida.

R~

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Make-It Monday – Panning

[image error]Umm, so I picked the topics for my blog out months ago. This week happens to be Pan. I didn’t look at the topics until just now and it’s freaking me out because today I worked on a movie set as a background actress where they had cameras panning.

I don’t really have any other updates related to panning except that I’ve been trying to do some background acting work for years now, so I’m happy it finally happened.

I spoke to someone in another city who seems interested in my skills if the other job doesn’t come through.

That’s all I have.

I’ve been struggling to catch up on sleep for a couple of days now.

Feels like I need to practice a little self-care.

Then I’ll get back at everything.

R~