Tobey Alexander's Blog, page 8

Encouragement and extra work

Well I had the pleasure of speaking with a far more established author than myself today to get some advice and guidance on bringing my ideas to another market in the form of developing stories/a story suitable for dyslexic readers. It was agreed pretty early on that Footprints is not something suited to that particular audience with both its length and complexity and as I was speaking to them I realised that the world I have fabricated for my children fits perfectly.

I have always wanted to translate my idea of The Magdon into a story but struggled to taper my writing style for an audience younger than myself. Taking the advice and guidance most certainly reminded me that the Magdon story is perfectly suited and will require less of my sometimes over-articulate and embellished creativity and force me to produce something far more succinct and compacted (with a target of 11,000 words that’s some 10% of what I wrote for Footprints and aim to write for Whispering Shadows.

 

Thankfully though I have been living, and forcing my boys to live, the story and world of the Magdon so in reality the leg work has already been done and I know the story inside and out. It is I suppose just a matter of getting it from in here to out there and there lies the challenge.

Whispering Shadows however remains the priority at the moment as my aim is tom complete Part I before I begin a full edit, brainstorming for that during which time I can pour myself into collating the Magdon story with bombarding my head and giving me enough to time build the story for Part II. It sounds terribly confusing when I see it written down but in truth it doesn’t daunt me probably as much as it should.

I’m still busy scribbling away in my red book of ideas and have had some nice feedback from another reader who has enjoyed Footprints. As I said to them I didn’t write for fame or money (which is a good job as I have neither!) but I wrote because I enjoyed it. The fact it was able to be published is a bonus and the fact people have entered my creation and enjoyed it is a very good feeling. To know other people have invested their time and imaginations to enjoy what I have to offer really is pride and payment enough really. Although I won’t say no to fame and some money…..even a Hollywood approach to bring Jack James to life would be a dream come true! A very distant dream I know.

So really I find myself scribbling and tapping more often but even my wife seems keen and very encouraging of getting the Magdon story out there as she has always said, along with many other parents I know, that the story is very vivid and has most certainly caught my boy’s imaginations. In reality I will be heartbroken when thy grow up and realise it isn’t real but for now they do and that brings me all the magic to keep the story going.

The world I have created for the Magdon is so real we had a treasure hunt and found the Magdon swords on a wet summer morning solving riddles and searching through the graves _ Theokoles and Athena (the swords are named)

So really I’d just like to say you know who Jack James is by now and if you don’t……well get yourself a copy of Footprints On The Other Side and find out what you’re missing.

I suppose though I should introduce you to the Magdon protagonist, I introduce to you an aged gentleman, an ancestor of my own who long ago passed away but his story and adventures have remained unheard until now. I introduce to you the man that is Archibald Barney Skevington and his life is the story of an ancient evil that has been forgotten by history yet has lived with us since the dawn of time, the creature that is The Magdon.

Hiatus but progressing

It’s funny what challenges life throw at you and I can say these last few weeks have been full of them. No matter how much I escape into my imagination when writing there’s only so much real-life I can block out and sometimes the real stuff overshadows my imagination and sends it packing back into its dark little box. That said today has been refreshing as I decided off the cuff to see if these typing fingers find a rhythm and thankfully they have.

Sat watching Star Wars Rebels with my oldest I decided to crack open the Dropbox and open the current chapter that’s been haunting me. 641 words of painfully slow progress. An hour later and there’s now 1,648 words and the draft chapter is done! Wow the feeling is pretty good and nice to know that I’ve obviously moved away from the shadows of my stresses and reconnected with my head!

If I sum up what I can of how I deal with life I’d have to say it exists on three levels – mind and body (gym and some meditation), family and writing. If these three things are in balance then I can exist on my divided personality between work and home which for me is a very big thing. If you hadn’t realised by now I am the sort of person that takes things rather seriously and throws myself into things wholeheartedly. Obviously sometimes this can be a little debilitating and can become a massive obsession with things or an overwhelming force but when it’s all in balance then it’s fun!

For this set of rest days I’ve got a kid’s summer house to decorate, a little girl’s second birthday to celebrate, a costume for Em-Con (East Midlands Comic Convention) to prepare and of course some writing to do too. But you know what, life would be boring if I didn’t keep myself busy and I can;t say I resent it, it makes my life varied, unpredictable and fun.

 

I remember really pouring myself into the story and edits of Footprints On The Other Side whilst they were filming The Dark Knight Rises locally at Wollaton Hall (2012). The presence of Hollywood creativity and imagination was a big influence and I sill love visiting and reminding myself what can be achieved – it’s a long way until Holywood though but I can dream!

I’m honestly dreading the edit phase of draft construction so I think I’m going to have a hiatus and pause whilst I collate and finalise Part 2 ideas into a coherent storyline but whilst doing this go through a full draft edit of Part 1. As the story exists on two distinct levels whilst Part 1 leads to Part 2 they can be considered, from the writer’s point of view, as quite separate entities therefore I feel happy enough to get into a full draft edit without jeopardising the flow of the story. There are a few things that will bleed between Part 1 and Part 2 but ultimately Part 1 and 2 come together to make Part 3.

That may sound completely cryptic but to me it makes sense and I don’t want to risk over-exposing the story and ruining my work. Loose lips sink…..book sales after all!

Well it’s only a brief explanation of how things have been (slowly) progressing but rest assured the story of Whispering Shadows is moving forward.

Whispering Shadows – I’ve decided to stick with the title as it was originally just a working title but it seems to fit. The title implies that the past offers secrets and that really in order to learn the lessons from the past they are not shouted and you must listen clearly to what they have to say. And so the title reflects Jack’s progressing journey and the fact that the future comes from the past and the past sometimes needs careful attention to understand and realise things you may have missed.

Mind clearing – family and fun

With the steady climb that has been going so well with developing the continuing adventures of Jack James in Whispering Shadows there is the inevitable stall, the infamous “writer’s block”. It’s well settled in and everything externally (work, family and fitness) are destined presently to interfere with the construction of a proper draft so it is back to ideas and brainstorming as I have previously said.

Last weekend however my oldest son decided that his latest favourite film is Point Break and as such being seven and influenced by films he decided he wanted to climb a mountain. What better really for clearing my head than climbing a mountain and bonding with my seven going on seventeen year old.

So we set off into the wilderness of the Peak District heading for Castleton where we intended to climb Mam Tor mountain. My not first but his very first mountain. Boy did he do me proud. Blisters aside he climbed to the top and then almost skipped down with pride and a new found sense of dare I say manhood acceptance. It was amazing to see how one simple journey up a hill could change someone so much and it filled me honestly with an immense sense of pride.

But what has this got to do with writing you may ask?

Well sat atop the peak of Mam Tor and looking around the amazing surroundings it gave me a chance to just let myself be free of everything. In some overly elaborate way it felt like trying to write walking up the slopes, that uphill struggle, fighting against the elements and the tiredness but knowing at the top there is something worth the work. Sat there eating a protein bar (yes I know) and huddling together against a bitter wind it all made that journey worth it. Walking up I have even decided as a back story element I may introduce something similar for Jack and his daughter. Yes it may add nothing to the overall story but for me when I write I like to add something that makes my characters seem more human, more loveable and more “real”.

Again that is just my way of writing and I know it will grate some but I don’t know any better. I’m in reality very much an amateur trying to become as my mentor would say “unconsciously competent” at this! Still a ways to go I suppose.

But sat there watching the clouds roll by and the journey across the  peaks before descending back towards the car I had to laugh. This walk was just like my writing, just like me as a person in so much that I may have plans, I may try to source out routes and events but in the end they just become an outline, a rough idea and everything I do descends into unpredictability based on a simple idea.

How so? Well I planned a 2.5 mile route on an easy trail, looked on the maps and saw where to go. When we got there I parked in the first car park I found and pretty much bastardised the route I had found. Some five miles later I’ve doubled the route but in so doing had the most enjoyable day with my boy who aside from having a really bad blister (bad dad alert) hobbled back to the car with a new sense of achievement.

 

And there it was for me, the epiphany that no matter how structured I try to be, how detailed I try to plan my journey it never quite works out that way. Maybe I should just realise and accept that I have a rough idea about where I am and what I am doing but in the end I perform much better when I just go with the flow with a basic idea of where I am and where I want to go. In that way I get the best out of myself and whilst trying to tame myself, much like my imagination, to do so too much results in rebelling or non-enjoyment but if I just see what happens I get so much more out of it.

So what I may not have written in two weeks (you’d be amazed what I had been through in that time but that is best saved for memoirs when I retire). That aside I’m just going to see what I can do without forcing myself – I have no deadlines, I have no demand from a plethora of fans to get the next instalment out as soon as possible so I’d rather give it the time and necessary space it deserves to once again produce a story I feels will be a reflection of me and tell the story I want it to tell.

Sadly you’ll just have to put up with me until I’m done on my messy, unpredictable and difficult journey.

Doubt, deletion and development

Today I continue Chapter 13 and slide (I’d love to say effortlessly) into Chapter 14 but it has been a painful write. The original draft was only 1,100 words so a prompt re-read and re-draft sees it up to 1,511 words but I don;t feel it adds much to the story. It is a necessary aspect to build up to an event but it feels a little laboured. I have changed it twice and considered putting the idea across in a paragraph or two but on that hand it also feels incomplete and lacking in detail.

In truth I recall reading an article about how cut-throat editors can be and like to remove things they feel don’t add enough to the story. I’m not sure if it is a case of seeds of doubt or else I am simply fluffing up one aspect of the story. And therein lies the issue of trying to conform to other people’s ideas and expectations.

I remember all too well that this is not something I have paid an expensive University to train me to do. Studying the form and function of the English language in literature form but that makes me all the more proud of my raw product, I can say it is entirely my own and not something that in itself gives itself up to conform to structures and forms that I do not understand. For me I have always been of the opinion that if I do not understand something then it isn’t something I should use, in this circumstance I suppose it is the finer art of writing and grammar/structure. Why make a fool of myself and get it wrong? Obviously the trade off being there are those who are literary scholars of scoff at how I write and condemn what they probably see as my bastardisation of the English language.

This road was the inspiration for the opening of Footprints On The Other Side – the irony is I now own the house that started the idea for the setting!

But again it is mine in its entirety and remains the truest form of the story and world that I have created. In that way it is a pure story, flawed but true to its origins.

So I close the latest version of Chapter 13 as completed but incomplete. How will it stand in the future I fully expect it to be a heavily edited version by the time it hits a respectable draft. In reality all the chapter covers is a visit to a hospital. A conversation with a completely unimportant character and the foundations of an extremely pivotal meeting within the story. Even as I write that I question myself as to whether I am dragging something out by using the means to justify the end. Who knows ultimately as the story is still growing and of course it may develop into an important addition but today I feel plagued with self doubt.

I feel I want to have added more, be further in the story but in a mindset such as this I know I am ultimately undoing myself with the story and perhaps taking the time to write is doing more harm than good.

So today I close the laptop and enjoy some family time. My only input into the story if Whispering Shadows will be in the form of idea scribbling ad not adding to the formal pages of the book yet. Forge ideas from the frustration and see where I take my imagination rather than try to formalise something which in the end will become too influential. Once it is committed to page it is hard to leave it behind whereas ideas can be scribbled and scratched away far easier.

Brainstorm as opposed to formalise is this weeks idea. Of course there is always the gym to pound away my frustrations – I suppose I’ve already spent an hour in there today this morning and came out with a clear head for one thing and still a muddled one for writing! Isn’t life a completely entertaining  and unpredictable journey…..gotta love it.

Distractions of “real life”

As a blogger I can only offer my sincerest apologies for the lack of content this week. To say it has been hectic would be somewhat of an understatement as I have been bogged down with non-book life, mainly DIY, work and gym time. All of which are my necessities which means I haven’t had much chance to sprawl myself onto the white screen of my Word program.

That being said though the story still continues to develop. I’ve got the first part pretty much squared away in my head and will HOPEFULLY have a full draft of “Part I – Conspiracy” by the end of May if not before. From there I need a full class brainstorming session to flesh out the base idea that forms “Part II – Return”. I know exactly what the function is of this part and it plays an integral part of growing Jack based on his past and new experiences.

I saw this as a gym mantra but reading it again now fits to my writing too! Hell it’d be nice if I saw The Rock one day reading my book!

Some people have criticised and questioned the method behind the story of Footprints but for me there is no need to justify the story.I have offered a story that operates on various levels and if people don’t like this type of story telling then I have learned that I cannot please all but those who do take the chance to read what I write can form their own opinions. Yes some will like, some will love and some will not. I cannot please everyone and in the end we all start somewhere!

To that end it is really a quick blog to say I AM STILL HERE and I haven’t forgotten you all that take the time out of your days to check in and see what I’ve been doing towards getting Jack James as an established and loved character who has an interesting story to tell and be read!

 

Sorting the mess, order from chaos?

Well after another stalled attempt to tap out the chapter on the laptop I have decided to leave the writing aspect be until I know unequivocally I will be able to take the flow onto the page as I want to. That said today was too goof a day to miss the opportunity to do something for the story so I have spent two hours this morning rather anally going through an idea-chart sheet which has helped me structure how the story is developing in my head.

I’ve carefully gone through where I am at the minute in the story, which is Part I Conspiracy. I had planned to do the whole book in a very basic format however it has taken me this long just to get Part I of Whispering Shadows down on the two sheets on the image below.

Of course I can’t be to kind and show you everything on the page as “spoilering” my own story would be a very silly thing to do. But this method of idea storming may give you an insight into what I am trying to do.

So in explanation – the large sheet represents the events of Part I. The different colours represent different characters (the most important being Jack James in Blue). The other names you may be able to see, if not, rest assured there are both new and familiar faces from the story set within Footprints. The lines obviously show the interconnections between events and characters and how they will ultimately come together, or not as the case may be, but it all centres for Part I on a single event.

Sheet two, the smaller of the pair, represents my Syndicus chart. This is me getting my head around the idea of Syndicus as the organisation behind the story-arc that will continue between Footprints and Whispering Shadows (and perhaps beyond). I have a clear idea in my head what this organisation represents but it is difficult to see how it all works. By jotting it down on a massive blank sheet like I have lets me physically see what I am trying to do with the characters and events.

For every person/organisation I have jotted down some key elements that will act to remind me of where I am going when I come back to these sheets in a few months. I have listed DRIVING FORCES for each character (these are their frames of mind and personality traits that affect their interactions and behaviours in the story). I’ve given myself some CHARACTER CUES which act to remind me what they look like and who they really are. I’ve then begun to map out the events and connect the dots as it were to see who meets who, who doesn’t meet who and ultimately WHY and what it will offer the story.

I suppose what I’m sharing is trying to put some order to the chaos that is my head. I think one thing that is stumbling me at the moment is the fact I have so many ideas rolling around that I can’t differentiate the ideas from the plot which is difficult then to formulate the story on the page. Hopefully by buying a new pack of felt-tip pens (washable to when my daughter decides to draw on me and herself we can was it off before mummy gets home) I have done a little to alleviate the muddled mess up in the old cranium.

If nothing else I have become a multi-coloured author covered in scribbles and circles both by me and my over-zealous two year-old (well she will be next month). What better way to ensure there’s fun in every aspect of this process than joining in with the little ones!

Ideas, stalling, pouring and receiving

Well it has been an interesting week all the same but nothing much in the way of writing has been done. I have tried to work through more of the story but tiredness from work has really taken its toll this week and resulted in a stalled process so I did what I could and left it when the going became counter productive.

I have also received a somewhat negative review but reading through their comments and have taken it constructively. Yes indeed I am fully aware that my story may not be for everyone and I indeed class myself as no literary graduate so my grasp of English as a structured written language is normal at best. But that said I can still live in the knowledge that people are still reading Footprints and sales still continue which again offers encouragement to me.

It is nice to see different points of view and fully accept and appreciate that people will have different points of view and some will like what I have to offer and others will not. It’s nice to know though that people are still reading and in doing so no matter what they have spent the time entering my creative world from start to finish.

On the other side of the coin I have had an absolute nightmare this week trying to upload the latest edits so the versions for sale represent the changes I want to offer the best story I am personally able to put out there. I am fully aware I haven’t the skills of a professional editor and still live in hope that one day a major publishing house will one day see my potential and held put the perfecting touches to my work. Until then I have put every effort to make it the very best I can as I appreciate that a poorly finished product does nothing to reflect well on me as the author and seems disrespectful to the readers.

So really it’s a little of a justifying post but also an appreciation at people taking the time to offer me feedback and also for them having invested their time reading what I have to offer.

The journey will indeed continue and I am indeed going to carry on. In the end there’s so much more with the story I wish to tell and Jack’s journey has further to go yet!

Doubting but 1/5 done?

I’ve done a little word count today having finally completed Chapter 9 v1.0 and including those I’ve done for Part 2 – Return we’ve got 23,000+ words which represents about a fifth of the total I expect for this story. It was interesting having a scan through like this as I have, this week, had my “I don;t think I’m making progress” and falling out of love with it kind of feeling.

It’s a turbulent affair and when things don’t flow for a couple of days it is very easy to slip into the world of self doubt. I’ve not sold any copies this week so you automatically go for the “oh no is this a waste of time” feeling but in reality I know it isn’t in the slightest. I have achieved an audience of ONE (well in excess of fifty now which is good for a non supported self-published author I believe). Yes a bunch have been on free promotion but it is not about the money, yes that would be lovely but it’s about sharing my creations with the world.

Night shifts kill the creativity a little, staring at my background and Avengers whilst I try to see what I could create – alas it was two paragraphs that day!

The fact people WANT to read what I have created fills me with a pride of confidence so in these times of self doubt I try to remember that I haven’t had anyone tell me that I shouldn’t have bothered and that can only be a good thing.

So from staring at the screen in frustration for most of the week and feeling a poor flow from head to page for chapter 9 I have finished it today and am quite happy with how it has progressed.

I suppose it’s a reminder in a way to just take a break and then keep going! Which I intend to do.

Thank you for those who have supported and continue to do so!

What a week and it isn’t even over!

This will not be the longest addition as I am tired and fighting the lack of time to try and placate my mind by at least completing ONE SINGLE full chapter this week. By week though I do not measure my time in the normal seven days. As I work a ten-day shift pattern )six working four off) my week when I speak of it refers to those ten days so forgive me if this seems a little weird in my timespan sense.

I have three times this week tried to pour myself into a specific chapter. Having completed the draft of the pivotal scene that my oldest had fun completing with me, I have returned to the chronological chapters and back to where I should be in the story. I can always tell when I am tired as I stare at what I’ve written and whilst it makes complete sense in the same vein it also never reflects how I want it to appear.

Here sets in the frustration which is never helped by the fact I feel I am then forcing myself to write. When I get to this point my rebelliousness sets in and I know it is best to shut down Word and leave the story be.

This morning I have completed nine lines! Nine little lines and I pretty much hate them straight off…..today is not a writing day. Considering the fact I have two twelve hour night shifts left of this week I expect those nine lines will stay just that until days off.

HOWEVER – silver linings and clouds I suppose is the fact I have found a new setting for “Part 2 – Return” of Whispering Shadows. Having been walking the kids to school earlier in the week I walked past the church where I got married and it dawned on me to bring that as the sanctuary for Jack when we enter part two of the story. Of course the church will not be staying perfectly as it is, much like the brewery that became Dinymour the church will be a little different. As I snapped a couple of opportunistic photographs on my phone to keep in my inspiration folder I thought of moving it a little, changing what surrounds it so we can fit into my story a little better.

Having spent such a pivotal and brilliant moment in there I have a very good memory of its layout – my children sing there each Christmas with school and it seemed once again a way to make my story personal to me yet keeping it separate at the same time! I like having a basis to work the story, for me using influences from the real world around me allows me a stable ground from which to build. My imagination I suppose needs an anchor and by using what I see every day acts as stimulus when my head goes into meltdown or tiredness – seeing the influences  often sets off a little chain reaction.

So today you see the tired, grumbling and somewhat doubting author in me. Is it worth it? Am I any good? Will this ever work? All questions quite normal so when I get like this I think it’s best to let the ideas grow in my head until such a time that I know it is right ti write them own. If I force the words, make myself write when it isn’t the best time I risk rebelling against myself, not enjoying it and writing something that is even further below the standards of what people expect!

Sharing ideas with the kids!

It’s a funny thing discussing the story with my seven year old. Yesterday we had a very deep and meaningful conversation about how I would construct a scene in an upcoming chapter. My oldest is keen to be part of the book writing process and desperately came up with some very…….interesting scenarios for the story. Needless to say entering into negotiation with a seven year old is fraught with danger and as his idea of a character’s demise grew so did the elaborate manner in which it happened.

More than once I had to say “don’t you think that’s a bit dangerous?” only to be met with a blank stare as if to say come on dad that’s not the half of it. Somehow I had to tell him that sadly there are no swords in this story, again to be met with a question of “well couldn’t he find one!?!”

Got to love his logic.

And so having discussed the idea with him I suddenly became obsessed with writing that particular scene. Although it occurs in the future of the story the idea was rocking around my head so much I thought it best to get it out lest I forget something. I try to stick to at least some chronological way of writing – at least within each of the three parts of the story but this is an unknown number of chapters ahead of where I am in the story.

I’ve not done this before, I’ve always been worried that I end up directing the story in a particular direction which draws away from what I was originally intending. But you now what, who says that;s a bad thing and who says that this won’t work. Even if it doesn’t work I will have something I can use in the future…hopefully!

So when you (eventually) get to read Whispering Shadows hopefully you’ll get a far less extravagant but nonetheless still an entertaining event. Some of the more outlandish ideas can be summed up by simply adding and then…and then…to the idea. Some of the ideas we thrashed out between us though will feature but thankfully it will be spread out and not happen in one gigantic medley of madness as he would have liked (sorry to disappoint little man!) Again the skill of parenting is one where I can sew the seed of an idea and then make him think it is his own!

This little interaction though has made me realise exactly how good this is for me. It brings me closer to the children as they like to get involved. I am desperately trying not to let the writing get in the way of work, gym and husband/dad-duties so by getting everyone involved it makes it all the more special. The fact that my two boys (less so my daughter as she’s not even two until next month) are so keenly interested in Jack James makes me remember the real reason behind all of this.

So really this is going to be a family affair! I’ll share the story with them as I go and get some feedback from them. Luckily though I know when to nod and smile but you know what, the fact it gets their imaginations rolling can only be a god thing. Even if I just give them the chance to tell me what they would do even though I know where the story is really going just encourages their creativity.

Even the rough ideas become something – once again using Hardy & Hanson’s Brewery in my images. Rough idea of Whispering Shadows Cover

Even now they look at the Kimberley Brewery Building with a curious look, I can see their little imaginations mulling things over. I designed a rough idea of how the cover MAY LOOK in the future and whilst they were walking to school both stopped and looked at the building I’ve used on the draft cover and said “look it’s daddy’s book.” My world mingles with theirs and there is no greater reward.