What a week and it isn’t even over!

This will not be the longest addition as I am tired and fighting the lack of time to try and placate my mind by at least completing ONE SINGLE full chapter this week. By week though I do not measure my time in the normal seven days. As I work a ten-day shift pattern )six working four off) my week when I speak of it refers to those ten days so forgive me if this seems a little weird in my timespan sense.

I have three times this week tried to pour myself into a specific chapter. Having completed the draft of the pivotal scene that my oldest had fun completing with me, I have returned to the chronological chapters and back to where I should be in the story. I can always tell when I am tired as I stare at what I’ve written and whilst it makes complete sense in the same vein it also never reflects how I want it to appear.

Here sets in the frustration which is never helped by the fact I feel I am then forcing myself to write. When I get to this point my rebelliousness sets in and I know it is best to shut down Word and leave the story be.

This morning I have completed nine lines! Nine little lines and I pretty much hate them straight off…..today is not a writing day. Considering the fact I have two twelve hour night shifts left of this week I expect those nine lines will stay just that until days off.

HOWEVER – silver linings and clouds I suppose is the fact I have found a new setting for “Part 2 – Return” of Whispering Shadows. Having been walking the kids to school earlier in the week I walked past the church where I got married and it dawned on me to bring that as the sanctuary for Jack when we enter part two of the story. Of course the church will not be staying perfectly as it is, much like the brewery that became Dinymour the church will be a little different. As I snapped a couple of opportunistic photographs on my phone to keep in my inspiration folder I thought of moving it a little, changing what surrounds it so we can fit into my story a little better.

Having spent such a pivotal and brilliant moment in there I have a very good memory of its layout – my children sing there each Christmas with school and it seemed once again a way to make my story personal to me yet keeping it separate at the same time! I like having a basis to work the story, for me using influences from the real world around me allows me a stable ground from which to build. My imagination I suppose needs an anchor and by using what I see every day acts as stimulus when my head goes into meltdown or tiredness – seeing the influences  often sets off a little chain reaction.

So today you see the tired, grumbling and somewhat doubting author in me. Is it worth it? Am I any good? Will this ever work? All questions quite normal so when I get like this I think it’s best to let the ideas grow in my head until such a time that I know it is right ti write them own. If I force the words, make myself write when it isn’t the best time I risk rebelling against myself, not enjoying it and writing something that is even further below the standards of what people expect!