Vincent Truman's Blog, page 6

Stupid Week

Vincent Truman

I’ve heard it occasionally said that people can remember specific moments from 15, 20, 25 years ago, but are often stumped when trying to recall lunch from two days ago.  That’s not the case with me.  I had two slices of pizza two days ago, between 1pm and 1:30pm in my office building’s cafeteria on the 41st floor.  How could I be that precise, you ask?  Short term memory training?  A party-trick-worthy ability to recall mind-numbing minutiae?  No, in this case, I’m just having a Stupid Week.

Stupid Weeks always follow a period of bustling activity, in this case, a play and a film, the time on which started in on June 9, 2013 and ended on August 11, 2013.  “Killing Angela”, my 2013 play, was heads-and-shoulders, in every respect, above the experience of my 2012 venture, “Venus Envy.”

Following “Angela”, I entered the 48 Hour Guerrilla Film Contest, an event I had done for two prior years, but only as a writer.  Now that my director, dear friend and frequent collaborator Jason Kraynek was getting busier with his filmmaking business, I had to take on his role as director/editor as well as writer/music guy.  The result was surprisingly easy – and I was done with writing, casting, filming, editing, scoring and uploading the film within 36 hours.  The end result – my first and last foray into zombie movies, with  my obligatory social commentary subtly added like a mild spice – is quite nice.  More on that later.

Now that the two months of heavy breathing is over, it has been my wont to grow sad, as if to allow myself some post-partum depression following the birthing of a piece of art.  However, since “Angela” drove me back into therapy because of the aforementioned subconscious script choices that seemed to reflect my divorce, I wasn’t up for that this time around.  Instead, I fell into an amazing routine of incredible dreariness.  A Stupid Week.

Without fail, here is my Stupid Week so far:

Monday.  Wake up at 5.  Then 6.  Then 7:30am.  Then listen to the radio until 8:10am.  Get ready for work.  Leave at 8:27am.  Get the bus at 8:33am.  Work until 5:45pm.  Get the bus home.  Be greeted by cat.  Feed cat.  Open wine.  Watch “Orange is the New Black.”  Play Words of Wonder.  Go to bed around 11:30pm.  Set my computer to play a George Carlin routine from the 1980s.  Fall into sleep.

Tuesday.  Wake up at 5.  Then 6.  Then 7:30am.  Then listen to the radio until 8:10am.  Get ready for work.  Leave at 8:27am.  Get the bus at 8:33am.  Work until 5:45pm.  Get the bus home.  Be greeted by cat.  Feed cat.  Open wine.  Watch “Orange is the New Black.”  Play Words of Wonder.  Go to bed around 11:30pm.  Set my computer to play a George Carlin routine from the 1980s.  Fall into sleep.

Wednesday.  Wake up at 5.  Then 6.  Then 7:30am.  Then listen to the radio until 8:10am.  Get ready for work.  Leave at 8:27am.  Get the bus at 8:33am.  Work until 5:45pm.  Get the bus home.  Be greeted by cat.  Feed cat.  Open wine.  Watch “Orange is the New Black.”  Play Words of Wonder.  Go to bed around 11:30pm.  Set my computer to play a George Carlin routine from the 1980s.  Fall into sleep.

Thursday.  Wake up at 5.  Then 6.  Then 7:30am.  Then listen to the radio until 8:10am.  Get ready for work.  Leave at 8:27am.  Get the bus at 8:33am.

It is mid-day Thursday as I write this, so I’ll be taking bets for the remainder of my day.

Now, I can only take so many days of this, so I’m already breaking the pattern in advance of the weekend. For one, I’m writing this.  For another, I’ve taken to reading Jonathan Tropper’s funny-tragic “This Is Where I Leave You” at the recommendation of my best friend Tina.  I do not read often these days.  It is not that I do not enjoy reading, but I find that the more I read, and the more I experience witty repartee and engaging scenarios, the more grey and lifeless my own existence appears.  Additionally, reading tends to spark my memory, and I wind up with several dialogues – some that have happened, some which have appeared to become detached from future plays or short stories I’ve not yet written – floating in my cranium.  Most of these are amusing and intriguing, but every silver lining has its cloud and I find sad conversations with my former wife wandering across my brain like a tickertape.

When I say ‘sad conversations’, it is only the tint I put on them these days.  The conversations, when they happened, were delightful.  Too many Bloody Marys in First Class on a plane.  String theory.  Pop rocks. “What is it?!”  My first apology to her, which spiked something in me to become a better man for me in the hopes I could be a better man for her. The chat on the back porch the night before we got married, in which I voiced my reservations too loudly and she voiced hers not enough.  These conversations, buried under years of forgotten detail, surface at random when I am thinking a lot.  It’s like my thought process is a torrential rainstorm in Louisiana; the more rain, the more graves pop up out of the below-sea-level landscape.

Given the choice between gravespotting and a Stupid Week… I’ll find another option.

 

 

 

Single Again For The First Time 16: Broken

Vincent Truman

Ah, defense mechanisms!  You sexy beasts!

We all have various defense mechanisms that, over time, are used proactively to protect ourselves from the world.  The question is: how big a role do those defense mechanisms eventually play in how we choose someone to be with or marry?  Are they ancillary or could it be that they could be so much as to be the catalyst for who we choose to be with?

I think I’ve put together a major piece to my life’s puzzle – thanks to being driven back into therapy due to the script, actors and process behind my show “Killing Angela.”

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7sdzKyoAig

“Killing Angela” and the Dreaded Sequel

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Kimmy Higginbotham in “Killing Angela”

In 2008, I wrote “The Tearful Assassin”, my first real foray into serious playwrighting. The purposefully fractured piece followed three storylines: one of a girl, Angela Pierce, kidnapped from her home by an online predator; another of the parents who discover a new life and new identity being survivors of the tragedy; and a third of the detectives, John Fowler and Loretta Runer, thwarted at every turn as they attempt to solve the case. The play received very good notices and sent me down a road of exploring various themes, especially the obliteration of “good guy” and “bad guy” (or, in theater parlance, protagonist and antagonist).

Around the time I was writing the show, I happened to see a production of Soundheim’s “Into the Woods”, a fairly clever musical showcasing a number of characters from children’s stories who, in Act One, find their respective happy endings but, in Act Two, have to deal with the consequences of said happy endings. I started wondering then about a dreaded sequel to “The Tearful Assassin.”

“Assassin” ended with Angela Pierce breaking free of captivity and killing her sociopathic kidnapper and the detectives pulled off of the case in light of the grand publicity surrounding the parents’ book that had been lavished on the town. Where would Angela go? What would happen to the detectives? What would life become for them?

As my imagination dictated, Angela skipped town, not wanting to be a celebrity martyr, and started a new life, new town, new husband and new name. One of the detectives, John Fowler, stayed dedicated and focused on the case, and as a result, lost everything – from respect of his partner to his wife. So, with Angela desperately avoiding her past by trying to cut it out completely, and Fowler unable to move forward because of his past, the idea struck me: let’s get these two kids together and see what horrors result.

Enter “Killing Angela”, my newest play.

The first scene I wrote was the ideal climax of the play: Fowler, who thinks he’s right, and Angela, who thinks she’s right, in a Mexican standoff, with guns trained on the other. Neither of them know how to resolve the situation, which is limited by their own narrow perceptions of what should happen next. When I was finished with that sequence, I thought, “I should really challenge myself and, instead of making this the grand climax, put this scene at the top of the show and force myself to build from there, instead of building towards it.” And that’s what I did. “Killing Angela” starts with the one of the most violent sequences I have written and has forced me to up the ante for the remaining 80 minutes of the production.

The cast has been sensational throughout, each of them finding more and more layers to their characters and surprising me in the process. It works on multiple levels for me – a dark comedy, a tragedy, a carnival ride, a psychological study and, more personally, a reflection on personal demons which I have yet to fully resolve. I have to thank Kimmy Higginbotham, who was in my last play, “Venus Envy”, and who takes the lead role as Angela, for being particularly inspirational in the final genesis and execution of this troubled tale.

“Killing Angela” debuts at The Charnel House, 3421 West Fullerton, on Friday, July 19, 2013 at 8pm. It runs Fri/Sat/Sun through August 4, 2013. Understudy Feature Performances, starring Ali McLaughlin as Angela, are on Sundays.

Script: http://www.lulu.com/us/en/shop/vincen...

Tickets: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/402364

 

Mick Napier’s “The Perfect Actor”

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Vincent Truman in “The Woman in Black”, 2009.

Mick Napier is a director and all-around clever guy who has been very influential to my growth as a writer and artist.  As lead guy (no doubt he has a better title than that) for the Annoyance Theater and director at Second City, he has put on some of the most innovative and daring pieces I’ve seen on a Chicago stage.  My mind still flashes back on the first time I saw “Manson: The Musical” onstage, long before “_______: The Musical” shows popped up all over, and not knowing whether to be stunned or shocked or amazed. Eventually, I opted for all three.

This is a piece he wrote back in 1996, and one I frequently come back to whenever I find myself wandering the arts.  Although designed for improvisation, it applies to any art form.  original link

* * * * *

The Perfect Actor

Since this is list day, I thought I might go on a little tangent and describe what I believe to be the perfect kind of person in a process like this. I’ll do this in the way of some humble advice. Although it’s just my opinion, I hope every improviser in every city reads this. It will make them a better performer.

From a director’s point of view….
How to be the perfect actor in a show:

1. Shut the fuck up.

In rehearsals or notes, if you don’t really really really have to say anything……….then don’t. Some people talk for the sake of talking. This comes from a space of rightness or need for affirmation or need to be percieved as vital and intelligent. If you don’t have to talk……don’t. Look at what you are about to say and ask yourself: “Is this REALLY supportive to what is going on right now?”…… and if it’s not, say nothing. It’s so easy to whittle away a rehearsal talking bullshit. Everyone knows that 95% of what is being said will not come to fruition, yet they do it and feel a false sense of productivity when they leave the rehearsal. I’ve been sucked into that waste of time abyss more times than I’m willing to admit.

2. Know what you’re talking about.

If you have to talk, know what is being discussed right now, and have what you have to say be relevant to that and that only. I’ve wasted so much time as a director wrangling tangents and bringing them back to the point at hand. I’m pretty good at bringing it back to what’s up, but I don’t enjoy it and it usually pisses me off.

3. Make Strong Choices.

Fuck your fear. We want to see your power, not your fear. Nobody has time for your fear. When I direct, I assume competance…..not inability. That’s all a director wants from an improviser in this process. To take the powerful choices he/she creates, and utilize them in the show. If I, as director, must constantly spoon feed and suggest and coddle the actor in regard to their ideas, lines, and characters, then there’s a 90% chance that the person is coming from a huge space of insecurity in the first place. That’s the problem right there, not the idea or character or anything. The more you approach a director or other actors in this needy manner, the more you will alienate yourself from the director’s power and your own. When I teach, I expect insecurity….when I direct, I expect the opposite. If you find yourself in a show and you are afraid……then fake it. Do the first three things on this list and discover that the more you are percieved as powerful, the more powerful you actually become. When I teach I have room for insecure choices, when I direct I do not. Once you are proficient in this behavior, then will you have the welcome right to discuss your scene with me or another actor. The best thing you could say to me in notes is, “I’ll make another choice and we’ll see if it works”.

4. Show up and be on time.

If something comes up, call. Really.

5. Don’t be tired.

It’s actually o.k. to be tired, most of us are when we work so hard on a show. It’s even o.k. to say you’re tired. Just don’t act tired. Be someone who isn’t tired. I’ve seen too many people say they’re tired at the beginning of a rehearsal and then spend the next three hours proving it to everyone around them. Oftentimes, tired is an excuse for lazy/scared. If you find yourself saying “I’m really tired today”……know that everyone is tired and that’s a given and who cares and then get up on stage and be vital and engaging. Don’t let tired be an excuse, nobody cares.

6. Don’t read in rehearsal.

Don’t read in rehearsal.

7. Don’t talk about the show in bars.

If I don’t believe that talking in rehearsal is very productive……..then think about it.

8. Try anything.

Be someone who will try anything. If you have a consideration about something a director asks you to do, speak that consideration and do it anyway. Be someone who says, “Sure, I’ll try it.” Sooooo many good ideas have gone to hell because an actor (or director, for that matter) judges an idea, talks it to death, and has it never be tried even once. It’s so easy to be negative…….you think you’re being smart and insightful at the time, only to learn later that you’re merely an asshole.

9. Eliminate these words from your vocabulary.

Can’t

Oh yeah, I’ll bet we can. A process is about what we can do…..it’s so easy and limiting to state that we can’t. A powerful person finds possibility with an idea, not it’s limitations. (See number 8 above).

Should and ought to

Use the word could instead. ‘Should’ forces your suggestion on me, ‘could’ offers me the gift of choice and opportunity.

10. Don’t interrupt anyone at any time……if you do, apologize.

If you interrupt another, you are instantly telling them a couple of things.

A. What that person is saying has so little value that you didn’t bother to listen.

B. You sought that as an opportunity to think about what you were going to say,

which you think is right and more important.

Now what that person is thinking about after being interuppted is just that….(he/she interrupted me), so they don’t hear the thing you interrupted them with. Pretty effective communication, ay? As a director, I will promise to keep my eye on interrupting you if you keep your eye on interrupting me and others.

All of this comes from years of me screwing up the above,both as an actor and as a director. 

The List of One

Vincent Truman

As I’m approaching the beginning of the rehearsal process for “Killing Angela”, my sixth full-length play to be produced, I’ve tried to take some time and ruminate over the lessons I’ve learned during previous productions and the goals I have for this and future productions. A few times, I have snuck away into some obscure corner of my world, pad of paper and favorite pen at the ready, determined to rip through a list of lessons and goals, creating an immensely slick flowchart for personal and artistic success. My list is as follows:

1. Stay in the pocket.

And that’s it.

When I think of my last production, “Venus Envy”, my conclusion is that it was a good, small little script beaten to shreds by the fact I could not stay in the pocket. And what pulled me out of the pocket each time was a desire to be liked and respected. What I missed completely is that, by evacuating the pocket to make nice-nice, I was doing it with artists who neither liked nor respected me or the piece to begin with, so it was a losing battle. In full-circle fashion, my compromises led to the work itself being compromised. I do not blame any of the artists as much as I blame myself for being suckered into playing games instead of attending to the work.

For instance, there was a rumor I wanted to have a three-way with one of the artists and her girlfriend. Utter bullshit. But, because I didn’t call anyone on it at the time, choosing instead to take the high road, the rumor was never quashed. So when, months later, I saw said artist and said girlfriend, the latter backed away from a friendly hug and extended her hand for an awkward handshake, as if I was some predator. What I should have done was confronted them both at the time and had done with it. Instead, it plagued my mind for longer than it deserved (which, in my estimation, would be more than ten seconds).

In another instance, one of the artists asked me, if she were single, would I go out with her. I shrugged up a harmless “yes”, but that was a mistake. Instead, I should have said, “That’s an inappropriate question to ask your director, especially out of earshot of your husband.” But, again, I tried for the Like and Respect Thing, and, again, that question alone proved there was little like or respect to be had.

And of course, during the rehearsal process, the most popular topic of conversation was how many auditions and other shows folks were involved in. I suppose this is a big actor trait (and one of the main reasons I refuse to call myself an actor), and I admit it grated. Again, I said nothing, letting conversations spill and rumble at will. What I should have done is stop that shit cold and say, “When you go on dates, do you talk to your date about how many dates you have lined up? Shut the fuck up and focus on the material you have in front of you.”

I would be remiss if I didn’t include myself in the grievances, as nothing happens in a vaccuum. At the time, I was a handful of months out from my divorce and was acutely aware of my missing partner during this time. I missed having someone in my corner. So I lost great amounts of my spine in order to try and get some someones in my corner.

I won’t make any of these mistakes again going forward, either in my professional or personal life. The List of One will sustain.

1. Stay in the pocket.

 

Single Again For The First Time 15: Divorciverssary

Vincent Truman

“I’m going to start doing things for me!” So read my ex-wife’s Twitter post back in early 2012. Considering that our cohabitation, marriage and house were all her initiatives, I always had a bit of trouble with that particular Tweet from ratgurrl. I’m not sure who she thought she was doing things for prior to our separation, but it wasn’t me.

To this day, I cannot think of an instance in which I proclaimed “I want THIS!” and she said, “OK, let’s do it, because it’s important to you.”

The only thing that troubled me more was hearing her voice from many years ago, chastising me for my hesitation about taking the relationship forward. “Get over it,” I can hear her say, “when will you realize that I’m not going to leave you?”

The above two examples, for better or worse (and in sickness and health), sum up the utter dustcloud of confusion and despair which plagued me throughout 2012 as I found myself separated, divorced and ultimately cut out from Jennifer’s life like an ovarian cyst. For most of the year, I didn’t how how to move on or forward, or indeed move at all, without my best friend, confidant, best critic and partner.

This emigration from the Land of the Married to the Land of Just Me took an often violent course and I often felt I was going to disappear under the weight of it. I dated – badly – produced my first ill-received show since 2000, “Venus Envy” (although, to defend myself, most of the fault of the show had more to do with the execution and backstage drama than the script), got in some traveling, gardening, yoga and gradually started forming new memories that did not have to begin with “Jen and I were/are/will…”.

However, as they say, time wounds all heels. In January 2013, I did meet a woman who I was utterly drawn to, without the guilt that had shadowed me because I, as I reminded myself often, committed myself to one woman. I fell in with a good crowd, with whom I explore strange new sights, sounds and sensations. I picked up a script that had laid fallow for months and finished it. And there was some good new sex to be had, a bit beyond my usual boundaries.

I have cried about my marriage precisely three times in 2013 (down from about 300 times in 2012). Once on January 1, 2013, just as the New Year came in: my niece Katherine made that go away by giving me one of the best hugs in my life. The second time was in early March, which marked the one-year anniversary of my ex-wife and I have dinner for the last time. And finally, on May 25, 2013, which marked the anniversary of our divorce becoming filed and final (Jennifer had long since given up wanting to talk to me by May 2012, so she didn’t know the divorce was final until months later – and, at that point, I no longer felt like being her errand boy to update her on the situation. I figured, if she wanted to know, she could ask. She didn’t.)

On May 26, 2013, my friend Melissa and I co-hosted a Divorciverssary (Melissa’s word), celebrating one full year of having our respective divorces finalized. Friends from every decade and avenue of my life turned up and commingled like we had all been family all along. It was a heart-filling occasion for everyone, I think, as all but four in attendance had gone through at least one divorce. Those innocent four smiled the smile of people who had never had their lives completely gutted, and the rest of us admired and loathed them as best we could.

Destination: tomorrow.

Single Again For The First Time 14: My Life As A Woman

This is not about cross-dressing, let me be clear on that.

Instead, this is a more personal story about one of the factors that helped devolve my marriage into the worst period of my life: the video game Second Life. The game was around for at least four years, including the full two-and-a-half years of the marriage itself. Although fascinating and addicting at the time (the details of which I touch on), it was a horrible third party to introduce into a partnership. If there is any advice to be found on this podcast, it is: don’t do this.

To fully appreciate the madness that is Second Life, here is a link to the Facebook page of my former spouse’s favorite haunt in the game: the Duran Duran Universe.  A home for disgruntled 40somethings to commiserate and pretend to be 15 again.  Considering what my former spouse was up to when she was 15 (a more disturbing hand could not have been dealt to anyone), her flirtation with reliving that period of her life was nothing short of a huge mistake.

But I digress.

 

Recorded by Chicago playwright Vincent Truman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ucj5ZGMlC1o

Single Again For The First Time 13: Friends Like These

Vincent Truman

Published on May 12, 2013

One of the things rarely examined in the wake of a divorce and/or end of a very important relationship is the roles our friends play in our lives. Yet those roles, or rather our perception, understanding or expectation of those roles, often change as dramatically as our relationship status itself. Just when you thought you couldn’t take any more collatoral damage…

Inspired by an article by novelist, friend and fellow divorce survivor James Bernard Frost: “What I Learned About Friendship After Going Through a Divorce”:

http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-rel…

But first! The podcast starts out with a little bonus ribbing of the ex and all those who share her name and one of those little arguments you have in your head with an ex. Of course, the best thing about those arguments is that you always win them. Watch and see!

Recorded by Chicago playwright Vincent Truman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU6QblrQpFg

Single Again For The First Time 12: Needles

Vincent Truman

Why do exes passive-aggressively needle each other when they’re no longer partners? I did it, my ex did it, and if you’re an ex yourself, you’ve probably done it. Considering the vast and impressive results that needling simply and utterly fails to accomplish, why does it happen?  And what do I mean by “spiritual leg” and what do you do when it’s gone missing?  What?

Recorded by Chicago playwright and divorce survivor Vincent Truman.

 

 

 

Single Again For The First Time 11: Black White & Blue

Vincent Truman

You ever have one of those weeks where you can’t seem to connect with anyone? This is about that.  And you have a discussion about kielbasa and muffins with someone and a third person doesn’t even pick up a single entendre?  This is also about that. And you ever find yourself smitten with someone who you might not see for a while? This is also also about that.

Recorded by playwright and divorce survivor Vincent Truman.