Stephen Burckhardt's Blog: My Blog Ramblings, page 54

Friday Funnies: And So It Begins!

Hello Posse!

Today's blog is going to be a bit short. I am starting work on part five, Into the West: ????. I know you are probably wondering what I will be calling it, so am I. I have a few ideas I am working on but nothing seems to be just what I want so I am still working on it. Big things are happening in Sharon Springs. Bandits strike again, lawmen swarm the territory, lost children are save by unlikely heroes, an precious lives are lost. There will be revelations that no one could see coming. Subscribe to my newsletter to to keep up on the latest Into the West Saga Serial information!

But enough about that for now. Time for the jokes! Since I am getting to work on the next book, I thought a few jokes about authors and books would be appropriate.

Enjoy,

Stephen

My nephew once told me he wanted to grow up to become a great writer.

When I asked him what "Great" meant to him, he said, "I want to write something the whole world will read, something people will react to on a deeply emotional level, something that will make people cry, scream, cry, even yell out in anger!" 

He has since gown up and achieved his dream. He works for Microsoft, writing error messages. 

An author went to the hospital and yelled out, "couldn't, wouldn't, don't, won't!"

A nearby doctor told the nurse, "Quick get this woman to the deliver room she's in labor"

As the women was being wheeled away an shocked intern turned to the doctor and asked, "How did you know that woman was in labor without even examining her?"

The doctor looked surprised then answered, "Weren't you listening, she had contractions!"

Q: Recently a man asked me what it's like to be a writer and a scammer.

A: I just smiled and said, "It has it's Prose and Cons."

Q: Why are escaped convicts horrible writers?

A: Because they never finish their sentences.

Q: Where do all the unsuccessful writers live?

A: On the writers' block.

Q: Did you know Stephen King has a son named Joe?

A: I’m not Joe-king, but he is . . .

Q: What is it like to be a struggling writer?

A: It's rather difficult to put into words.

Q: A man asked the musician, "Why do you only write songs about sewing machines?"

A: The young man looked incredulous, "Because I'm a Singer song writer!"

And last but not least . . .

An author walks into his usual bar and the bartender asks how his latest book is coming along.

"I decided to kill off some characters in my book."

The bartender is shocked and replies, "It should definitely spice up your autobiography."

The first standup I ever remember seeing Jim Carey perform, he did Wounded Swan Lake. I will never forget that or how rubber his face really is. Check out these impressions. Amazing!

https://youtu.be/RbIq-f1_Dr4

#lol #jokes #Comedy# blog #blogging #blogger #books #writer #writingcommunity #indieauthor

Whatever Wednesday: Serial News

Hello Posse!

I hope you are all doing well and are surviving the summer heat. It has been crazy hot here in Germany. It has been in the upper 90s for about a week now. I know a lot of you in the U.S. are probably thinking, "90s? Pshaw, that's not so horrible." I get that. I am from Kansas where 100+ degrees in late summer is not unusual. The difference being, here in Germany, and actually many places in Europe, air conditioning is not a common thing. That makes even low 90s nearly unbearable. I already asked my husband to promise me when we buy a house, it will have air conditioning in at least one room.

The past few days, while I was sitting in the dark, in front of a fan, with a bottle of ice behind it to cool the breeze down, trying not to move too much and generate heat, I had plenty of time to think about my serial. The characters have so much more story to tell than I can get into just one more book, so the Into the West Saga Serial will have six book in the saga.

I had originally planned to have the next book be Into the West: Family Ties. I even had a book cover almost finished for it. But now I am not so sure I will be using that. The Fifth book will definitely not be Family Ties. I am still playing with some ideas and getting the title set so I can look for cover art to go with it. I hope to have it all figured out here soon.

But for now, the big news is there will be two more books coming in this serial. I am hoping to have them both done before Christmas but we all know how my best laid plans go, so we will see how it all works out. I just know that the characters keep telling me there is more story to tell and they all want their time to tell you their stories before we move on. It seems only fair to let them do it.

Keep watching for more details we all figure things out. I hope to at least have a title for you all very soon.

Have a great Wednesday,

Dianne

#blog #writerslife #writingcommunity #WednesdayMood #IntoTheWestSagaSerial #westerns #indieauthor #bookstagram

Monday Movie Madness: Hidalgo

Hello Posse!

I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I spent a lot of time thinking about my book serial and how I want to wrap up this part of the story for Elizabeth and Conner. If you notice, the Into the West Saga Serial is the first "book" in the Territories Saga Serials Collection. I plan to do several 5-6 book serials in different U.S. territories in this time period. Each saga will follow different characters. But for this saga, it is time to wrap things up. It was just meant to show how Elizabeth and Conner got into the Wild West and settled in there.

I was previously planning to just do one more book in this serial called, Into the West: Family Ties. I even had the cover made, but this weekend things changed. I do not have the idea completely worked out yet so I will hold off giving too many details at the moment. I should have more for you this Wednesday. Please forgive the delay, I just want to iron all the details out first before I share them with you all.

But for now, how about a great movie?

Today's western is based on a true story. Hildalgo was released in 2004 by Buena Vista Pictures. This film is a biographical western based on the life of a legendary American distance rider, Frank Hopkins, and his horse, Hildago. This movie stars Viggo Mortensen, Zuleikha Robinson, and Omar Sharif with a supporting cast that includes such notable actors as J.K. Simmons, Peter Mensah, Floyd Red Crow Westerman, C. Thomas Howell, and Malcolm McDowell.

The story begins in 1890 when Hopkins (Mortensen) and his mustang, Hidalgo, are performing in Buffalo Bill's Wild West show. The show advertises the pair as "the world's greatest endurance horse and rider." Before joining the show, Hopkins had in fact been a long-distance rider. He had even worked for the U.S. government as a courrier. It was this former job that led to Hopkins suffer great regret and depression. He was the one who carried the orders to U.S. 7th Cavalry Regiment that authorized the massacre of the Lakota Sioux at Wounded Knee.

As Hopkins, barely exists in his alcohol soaked state, he performs for crowds and lives off his past glory. Another performer with the show, Chief Eagle Horn, learns that wild mustangs are being rounded up for slaughter by the U.S. government to clear the way for farmers to take over the land. While Buffalo Bill declines to do anything to save the horses, Hopkins agrees to do what he can.

Soon after an opportunity arises that could provide a solution to save the mustangs. An emissary of a wealthy Sheikh comes to the Wild West Show to request they stop advertising Hopkins and Hildago as "the world's greatest endurance horse and rider." If they do not, the emissary asks that the pair enter the 3,000-mile distance race through the Najd desert called the "Ocean of Fire" to prove they deserve that title. The race is normally only open Bedouin or Arab riders and pure-bred Arabian horses but they agree to make an exception for Hopkins and Hildago so they may prove themselves.

The pair make their way across the sea and find it will not be as simple as just winning the race. Many people are furious an outsider has been allowed to enter their great race and set out to sabotage and even attempt to kill the pair. While navigating the race and it's unexpected dangers, Hopkins encounters a damsel in destress who needs to be saved from a life of servitude to the Sheikh. The pair manage to survive attacks, build alliances, and in the end Hopkins learns more about himself.

When things are at their darkest Hopkins turns to his roots and it is revealed that, while his father was Anglo-American, his mother was Lakota Sioux. Hopkins reconnects to his ancestors to find the strength to finish the race, save the mustangs and the damsel, while healing his own soul. You do not want to miss this epic!

Don't forget to head on over to my Facebook page (

Enjoy!

Stephenhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2sRtzNRDCA

#movies #cooking #blogging #writerscommunity #books #movie #family #fun #Writer #bookstagram #BookWorm #monday

Friday Funnies: National Beer Day!

Hello Posse!

I'm combining a Small Business (though it's grown so much it's not really that small anymore) Spotlight with my Friday Funnies. It just works with today being National Beer Day.

An OLD friend of mine, Ken Broadhead (I've know him about 30 some odd years or more), co-founded a brewery called, Confluence Brewing Company (

From their website:

"The brewery is itself a confluence of John and Ken’s love for Iowa and craft beer. The result is a microbrewery that shares Iowa’s attributes of honesty, humility, hard work and a sense of humor. Confluence also has Iowa’s knack for being a delightful surprise to those who actually experience it.

Confluence cares about the creativity and craftsmanship that goes into making excellent beer, and knows that excellent beer can bring good friends together."

What better way to start your weekend than to pick up a great craft beer and settle in for some amusing bar jokes? Be sure to check to see if Confluence craft beers are available in your area, and if not, ask for them to be stocked! It will be worth it!

Have a great weekend!

Stephen

Stay safe and healthy, folks . . . and now for the jokes!

Man walks into a pub and sits at the bar. He pulls out a laptop and looks at the bartender.

Man: Say, what's the Wi-Fi password here?

Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.

Man: Okay, give me a Coke.

Bartender gives the man a Coke and tells him it will be $3. The man pays and takes a sip of his drink then looks at the bartender again.

Man: Okay, I bought a drink, so what is the password?

Bartender: (speaking slowly) You need to buy a drink first . . . no spaces, all lowercase.

Q: What do you call a guy who is fall down drunk?

A: A Cab!

Descartes walks into a bar and orders a Confluence craft beer. When he finishes the bartender asks if he wants another. Descartes replies, "I think not," and vanishes.

An expert in SEO walks into a bar . . . bars, pub, tavern, drinks, beer, liquor, alcohol, . . .

Two men walk into a bar.

You would think the second one would have ducked.

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini

Bartender: Olive or Twist?

A tub of yogurt walks into a bar. The bartender tells it to get out, they don't serve its kind.

The yogurt asks, "Why not? I'm cultured!"

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender tells it to get out, they don't serve its kind.

The mushroom asks, "Why not? I'm a fun-guy!"

A bunch of Fonts walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out, they don't serve their type!

and last but not least . . .

A pork chop walks into a bar. The bartender tells it, "Get out! We don't serve food here!"

I need to add: if you chose to drink, please be responsible and do not drink and drive. A dear friend of mine just had to bury to her 18 year old son whose life was cut short by a drunk driver. He had just been accepted to college.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying a few drinks, but please take a cab, get a designated driver, or drink some place you can stay until you have sobered up when you choose to drink. The life you could be saving might even be your own.

Thank you!

#nationalbeerday #beer #homebrewing #craftbeers #jokes #comedy #LOL #Fridaymood #Fun #blog #blogging #bloggers #writer #writingcommunity #indieauthor #author

Whatever Wednesday: Promotional Items

Hello Posse!

Guess what I forgot to do until just now? Yep, finish writing the Wednesday blog. I had it all set up to talk about promotional items because I wanted to get some feedback from all of you as to whether or not it would be worth setting up another store, I just forgot to finish it until now. At least it is still Wednesday in the U.S., but here in Germany it is about 2 a.m. Thursday morning. I'm still going to count this as a Wednesday post.

You might have seen that a few months ago, I had set up lots of designs for promotional items with a company that would print things on demand. There was no overhead or stock to carry so I thought this would be the best option right now. It's hard enough getting people to buy my books, let alone supporting merchandise, but I had decided to give it a shot anyway. After I got the store all set up and was ready to offer these things to you all, the company changed their set up and wiped out all of my designs. I would have to set up the store and merchandise designs all over again if I wanted to keep the online store.

So my questions are, as a reader do you have any interest in these kinds of items?

Would it be worth my time to set it all up again?

I have no trouble putting in the time and the work, I just want to know it will have, at least, a modest payoff. You can see some of the things here I had planned to offer. Things like books bags, glasses, T-Shirts, the basics. At some point, I will offer audiobooks. When I finish the last book, I am going to go back and do the audiobooks for the entire serial in one shot. I still need some equipment to do a really good job of it. I could do them now, but I do not want to do less than my best effort for you all. You deserve nothing less than the best I can do!

So please, give me some feedback. I would love to hear from you. Your opinion matters a great deal!

Thanks!

Dianne

#blog #wednesdaymood #indieauthor #intothewest #westerns #historicalfiction #histfic #writer #writing #bookstagram #writingcommunity #reading #blogging #blogger

Monday Movie Madness: The Shootist

Hello Posse!

Today I have a real treat for you that is also a bit of a heartbreaker. One of the great films of Legendary western star, John Wayne, which also happened to be his last. To shake things up a bit, I did not add the normal movie trailer. The clip below is a behind the scenes reel filmed during the making of The Shootist. It gives you a great look at the man behind the movies.

The Shootist is a star studded American western. Besides staring John Wayne in his final screen role, the supporting cast includes:

It was released in 1976 by Paramount Pictures. It was directed be Don Siegel and was a modest success earning just a little over $13.4 million worldwide. This film is based on the 1975 book of the same name by Glendon Swarthout and was adapted into a screenplay by the author's son, Miles Hood Swarthout and co-writer Scott Hale.

This film received tremendous critical praise as well as several award nominations including an

The story follows an ageing gunfighter, John Bernard "J.B." Books (Wayne) who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer by "Doc" Hostetler (Stewart). Doc sends Books to spend his last days in a boarding house run by Bond Rogers (Bacall). She is a widow who lives with her son, Gillom (Howard).

Books tries to stay out of the public eye but fails. Bond does not want him around her or her son after learning who he is and calls for Marshal Thibido (Morgan). Thibido is determined to make Books to leave town until he learns Books is dying. The marshal relents and allows him to stay; hoping death comes quickly for Books before trouble finds their town.

Unfortunately, news about Books spreads fast and many men head to the town to earn fame and fortune for killing the infamous Books. Doc give Books some heavy narcotics to ease his pain and suggests Books should choose his own death over letting the cancer slowly take him. In preparation, Books makes arrangements with the local undertaker (

As numerous men come to try to kill Books, he starts to form a relationship with Gillom that his mother is not too happy about. When Books is ready to meet his end, he asks Gillom to tell three men where to find him on January 29th, Books' birthday. On that day, Books enters a saloon and toasts his birthday and the three guests he invited. The three men all try to kill Books for various reasons. He manages to shoot and kill all three, but is wounded in the melee. Gillom walks into the saloon just as Books turns to leave. What happens next makes the whole movie worth watching.

Today's movie snack suggestion is another recipe from Taste of Home. It's a recipe that is said to have been a favorite of John Wayne and he gave a similar recipe to actress Linda Evans (of Dynast Fame). Go to

It's time to get your snacks and settle in for another great western!!

Enjoy!

Stephenhttps://youtu.be/ZTv8LXTmOtY

#movies #westerns #blog #writer #IntotheWest #MondayMovieMadness #Mondaymood #JohnWayne #JimmyStewart #recipes #snacks #food #TasteofHome #cooking #food

Friday Funnies: National Mutt Day!!

Hello Posse!

You know I could not let a National Mutt Day go by without sharing photos of my favorite mutt, my dog, Shaggy! For those who do not know, Shaggy is a rescue dog from Russia. He was brought over from a shelter in Moscow that saves street dogs. Shaggy was actually thrown over a fence into the shelter's property with another dog they think was his mother.

Luckily, Shaggy was not hurt and eventually found his way to our home where we spoil him rotten! Shaggy has a lot of emotional issues, mainly dealing with fear. When we first got him, it was almost impossible to take him for a walk on the street. He was afraid of everything! And when I state everything, I mean EVERYTHING!

He was afraid of cars, running and parked, bicycles, with people on them or even just parked on the street, people, especially men and children. He was afraid of other animals, loud noises, and trash cans. Basically, he was afraid of anything on the street that was not us. After years of patient training and many, many, MANY walks in our neighborhood , Shaggy has gotten better but even today he knows is there is something new on the street. If someone has put out something for the trash to pick up, he will walk well around out.

Even with all the extra work we have had to do because of Shaggy's issues, we would not trade him for any other dog on the planet. He is very smart, he can do limited sign language to tell us what he wants and needs. He learns tricks very quickly. He also turned out to be a great therapy dog for me. He just instinctively knew when I needed help and knew what to do. He is and will always be our little furbaby.

So now to celebrate National Mutt Day, it is time for some dog jokes followed by a few recipes for your favorite mutt!

Enjoy!

Stephen

Q: Why was the squirrel able to get away?

A: The dog was barking up the wrong tree!

My vet called today with a Lab report but I think he mixed up my dog with some one

else's . . . I have a pug.

Q: Why won't your dog bring the ball back when you throw it?

A: He always complains that it's too far-fetched.

Q: What do dogs like to eat for breakfast?

A: Pooched eggs and sausages

Q: What do a phone and a dog have in common?

A: Both have collar ID.

Q: Why are dogs such good story tellers?

A: They always know when to paws for effect!

And last but not least . . .

Q: What is a dog's favorite kind of ice cream?

A: Pupcicles!

Doggie Recipes

Summer is a great time for ice cream, but it is not always healthy to give to our furry friends. Gemma's Bigger Bolder Baking website gives us some great recipes for doggie friendly ice cream for your favorite fur babies! Bone, Appétit

https://youtu.be/KUOwVP36Pr0

#icecream #dogtreats #recipes #cooking #NationalMuttDay #fridaymood #friday #blog #blogger #writer #bookstagram

Whatever Wednesday: Public Image

Hey Posse!

I hope everyone is safe and healthy. We are doing good here in Germany. I don't know how many of you were already aware that my husband and I have lived in Europe since 2014, first Denmark and now Germany. Moving to Europe was actually what got me into writing books. I started as a freelance ghostwriter and then decided to write for myself. I chose to write under my pen name (Stephen Burckhardt) to keep some anonymity until I figured out how to do it all well.

During these crazy Covid19 times, I have to say I'm rather grateful to be here. While I miss living in the US every single day, the public health care here and government health offices have done a great job managing the infection in our region. I just wish things were better for all my friends and family in the US. I see numbers rising in my home state of Kansas and I just pray very hard for everyone there, especially my mom and dad.

Even with the pandemic, I have been trying to find ways to promote my work that does not include spending too much time in public. One way I have found is doing online interviews. I have recently done a great video chat with Christopher Moss and was scheduled to do another interview with someone else in August.

I had agreed to this upcoming interview but after many issues and then checking out a few of the previous interviews in their lineup (which I admit, I should have done before agreeing in the first place), I decided to cancel. Maybe because as a former journalist and having been on the other side of so many interviews, I just felt uneasy about participating in what could very well end up being a "bad" interview. But then I had to wonder, is even a "bad" interview beneficial?

Any interview, even where the person asking the questions is not good at it, you are still getting exposure. I have often said that I never worry about the questions, just my answers. But is this true if the interviewer does not ask the right questions to really give the audience enough information about you and your work to even peak their interest? Would it even be worth the time to do it?

I would sincerely love to hear some feedback from all of you on this topic. Have a great day and stay safe and healthy!!

You are all in my prayers!

Dianne

Here is a great interview I did a while back. It was actually my first interview about this book series and what it has been like writing as Stephen. Ignore the other name change. I used Shari then but decided to write as Dianne instead. I have five legal names (first name, three middle names, and a last name) so I can mix and match them all at will. It's insane, I know. Even I have trouble keeping track of them all.

The podcast is based in my home town of Wichita, Kansas. You should really check out the other podcasts by Landon Huslig. He is a great interviewer.

,https://wichitalifeict.com/podcast-shari-burckhardt/
( ^^ click here to listen ^^ )

Monday Movie Madness: The Outlaw Josey Wales

Hello Posse!

I am very sorry there was no Friday Funnies blog last week, but I ended up in bed with a three day migraine. I used to get those pretty often, but I have actually learned to control them pretty well. Once in a while though, they still get me. I'm doing much better now and I have a great movie for you today and a movie snack that is so easy and tasty you will wonder why you didn't think of this yourself!

Today's movie is another Clint Eastwood classic, The Outlaw Josey Wales. This 1976 American western film is set in the years after the American Civil War. Clint Eastwood not only starred in the film as Josey Wales, but also directed this film. This film also stars well known actors including

The Outlaw Josey Wales follows the life and hardships of a Missouri farmer, Josey Wales (Eastwood). His family is murdered by renegade Union soldiers during the Civil War. The loss of his family is a breaking point for Wales and sends him on a mission to seek revenge. Joining a band of Confederates, Wales makes a name for himself as a gunfighter.

When the Civil War ends, Wales chooses not to surrender along with his band of Confederates. His band is massacred after surrendering to Union troops. Wales becomes an outlaw and is wanted by bounty hunters and Union soldiers as he tries to figure out what he wants out of the rest of his life.

This movie is based on the 1972 novel by Forrest Carter, The Rebel Outlaw: Josey Wales. The book was adapted by Sonia Chernus and Philip Kaufman for the screen. It was filmed under a $3.7 million dollar budget and earned $31.8 million at the box office. In 1996, the National Film Registry of the Library of Congress selected this film for preservation for being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant".

Don't forget to go to

Get your snacks and settle in, it's time for another great movie!

Enjoy!

Stephenhttps://youtu.be/dCPcoNo_OkM

#blog #recipes #cooking #writing #movies #westerns #snacks #cowboys #IntoTheWestSagaSerial #ClintEastwood #StephenBurckhardt

Whatever Wednesday: Part Five

Hello Posse!

I have been taking some time off after having such a hard time getting part four in the Into the West Saga Serial finished. It proved to be a real bear after the first three had been so easy to write. I hope part five goes back to the fluidity with which I wrote the first three, but with the way 2020 is going, I'm not expecting anything to be easy!

I am not sure if Into the West: Family Ties will be the end of this serial or if I will need a sixth book. We will just have to see if the characters can get their story where I want it by the end of the book. Either way, this saga will be coming to a close soon. It has been so much fun to write but part of me would like to step into another world for a while too. I plan to come back to this world later for another saga serial with a few of the characters from this saga and a whole new lineup of supporting characters. But that is all down the road a while.

I hope you are enjoying this saga and are looking forward to the conclusion for the Into the West Saga Serial. For those who are wondering, I am still planning to put these books out in audiobook format. I had been trying to do the audiobooks while working on the written books and I am not ashamed to admit, it was just too confusing for me. I want to wait until I finish the last book then go back and do all the audio books together. I think they will be much better quality that way.

I have been getting more requests for interviews. I recently completed a video interview and am on the schedule for another podcast. I will post links to these on the News page of the website when they are available and in a Whatever Wednesday blog when they are live.

Thanks for following along with me on this crazy ride as I try to build a writing career for myself. You have no idea how much your support means to me. If you want to do more to help me build my career, there are many free things you can do. You can write a review on Amazon, Barnes and Noble Booksellers, Goodreads, and/or Facebook. You can share this blog with your friends and tell them about my books. If you don't mind spending a little money, you even gift someone a copy of one of my books. You can even gift eBooks. No matter what, I appreciate you just for reading my work. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Dianne

(writing as Stephen Burckhardt)