Talena Winters's Blog, page 18

Puppies and Heroes

For some people, the Christmas season is their most difficult grieving season of the year.

Not me. With the passing of Noah's birthday on February 26 (on which he turned 14, believe it or not), I have been descending pell-mell toward the slope of anniversaries that bring up bittersweet memories of Levi.

March 23 - the day he joined our family. His actual, if not legal, "adoption day".April 2 - his birthday. He would be six this year.June 3 - his heaven birthday. This year marks as many years gone from earth as he was on it.

He looked a little shell-shocked on his adoption day. Kinda how I felt. But he was loved completely and immediately.

As I mentioned recently, I've had a fairly stressful 2018 already. I did it to myself with this crazy travel schedule. But one of the hardest parts about it has been that it hasn't given me windows to process things. What things? Well, much of anything, really.

Last weekend was exceptionally stressful.

It was supposed to be a more relaxed weekend in comparison to the jam-packed schedule I've given myself on some other signing weekends—only a multi-author event at Audreys Books in Edmonton on Thursday, and a book signing in Edmonton on Saturday, with time on Friday to catch up with family, take my friend's girls out for a movie night (and to give her a night off), finishing up with a leisurely trip home on Sunday. After all that, the weekend would still give me an extra day to hang out with my kiddos, since they had Monday off of school.

The plan was for Jabin to come with me. He'd been begging, and last weekend (with it's extended school holiday) was the perfect time to let him.

So we set out, as planned, on Thursday morning. Unfortunately, an hour south of Peace River, my car stopped moving.

Correction: It stopped moving forward. Backwards worked just fine.

Fearing the worst (a new tranny would probably cost more than the value of the vehicle), I tried not to panic that I needed to go northwards for an hour to get a rental vehicle before I could again begin the five-hour-plus journey south to Edmonton, and I was supposed to be there in five hours.

Did I mention that I was the organizer of said event?

While I was on the phone with AMA trying to figure out what all my options are and having a tow truck sent to rescue my car, I was texting my husband so he could come rescue me.

Y'all, I married an amazing man. But he still surprises me sometimes with how very wonderful he is.

Of course, he took half a day off of work to come pick me up. Only, instead of driving me back north, he started driving south. And ended up driving us all the way to Edmonton.

Long story slightly shorter, he ended up spending the entire weekend with us to save us the hassle and expense of having to rent a vehicle. All he brought with him was the clothes on his back.

Silver Lining: With how busy I've been lately, I haven't gotten to spend nearly as much time with my husband as I would like. Last weekend? That was bliss, and something my sad, overwhelmed heart desperately needed.

Not only did I get to hang out with the world's most perfect man for the weekend, his sacrifice ensured that I made it to the event on time so I didn't let the other authors down.

We still got to see the people I had planned to see over the weekend.

And we came home with a puppy.

Jude getting to know his new bestie.

While I spent five hours in a bookstore on Saturday, Jason and Jabin went looking at little (or rather, "humongous", as that is the size of dog we prefer 'round here) furballs. It wasn't quite last-minute—Jason and I have been discussing getting a puppy since last fall, with the idea that we should do it before Sunshine becomes so senile that she would be useless in helping to train it.

But, since the very fact of Jason's presence in Edmonton last weekend was unplanned, the puppy-shopping trip was, also. Which meant we weren't exactly prepared to bring a puppy home with us.

No matter. We got one anyway. He's adorable, he's a Siberian Husky, and his name is Hiro.

“Hiro is a masculine Japanese given name with multiple meanings, dependent on the characters used. 裕 means “abundant”. 寛 means “generous, tolerant” and 浩 means “prosperous.””

— Hiro (given name) - Wikipedia; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiro_(g...

For us, "Hiro" also reminds us of two of our favourite geek-show characters:

Hiro Nakamura, the loveable Japanese master of time and space from the show Heroes:

And Hiro Hamada, the genius boy protagonist in Disney's Big Hero 6—a movie that always reminds me of Levi because of the loss in the show, how resourceful Hiro is (just like Levi), and that it was one of Levi's current favourites when he died. I'll never forget Levi's Baymax impression. (Which is why I now have a Baymax keychain.)

Perhaps it is no wonder then that yesterday, in a sleep-deprived haze induced by getting up in the middle of the night to take out the puppy all week, and an exasperated daymare of puppies-are-worse-than-toddlers flashbacks to when we first got Levi (three days after he began walking and 10 days before he turned one), I called Hiro "Levi".

And then had to fight back tears so I could pretend nothing was wrong for my piano student.

“Thankfully, God has also sent reminders of joy and life and love to keep me moving forward. Such as my husband rescuing me from the side of a snowy highway.”

The grief doesn't really end. It's been so much easier to bear this year. (And, of course, that makes me feel guilty—there is always some part of my brain that feels disloyal by going on and living my life. No, it's not right, and no, I don't give in to it. But the guilt is real, folks.) But in this season of spring renewal, I will forever also be reminded most acutely of my biggest loss.

Thankfully, God has also sent reminders of joy and life and love to keep me moving forward. Such as my husband rescuing me from the side of a snowy highway.

Or the homeless man who found Jason's wallet in a parking lot in Edmonton last weekend, tracked us down through the UFA cardlock phone number, and mailed it back by collecting bottles to pay for postage. (Yes, we sent him money as a thank you and to cover costs. But he didn't wait for that.)

Or the puppy that is nothing but mischief in fur, needs constant supervision, and I'm pretty sure will be the death of at least one of my winter boots. I love him to pieces.

Heroes. Hiroes. We all need reminders of the good and wonderful parts of this world at the best of times, but especially when we are walking through a dark part of it.

I'm so thankful for mine.

Hiro and Sunshine getting acquainted.

Hero and Hiro.

Author Interview: About Me and "Finding Heaven"

On Sunday afternoon, I had the privilege of being interviewed on Facebook by author Joy Norstrom, one of the authors with whom I am co-hosting the Inspiring Women event at Audreys Books in Edmonton on Thursday. (The other is P.D. Workman.) For posterity's sake, and in case you missed it, I am copying the interview here.

Joy: 

Good afternoon, Talena! I hope you are staying warm up in Peace River. 

First question for you: What’s a typical writing day for you look like? Describe your perfect writing environment.

Talena:

Hi, Joy! Thanks! That's what cozy fireplaces are for. :-) Thanks for interviewing me today.

My "ideal" environment is when I can get focused right after breakfast and write for a couple of hours before lunch (hopefully knocking out nearly 3000 words), then spend the rest of my day focusing on other aspects of my business and making sure that I have supper prepped. (I teach piano two evenings a week, which means I need to start supper before my kids get home from school on those nights).

What often happens instead is that I get distracted by things that I feel are "urgent", and my morning writing time is often shortened, or moved to the afternoon. My left brain won't relax enough to let my right brain work until certain things have been dealt with, like business emails. So, it's far from the ideal, and it's a self-discipline I'm still working on. (I do much better than I used to.) But I'm also a night owl, so on days when I don't get writing done in the morning, I will often do a little late at night. Sometimes, that's my best time, because social media is usually inactive and my right brain can't use it as an excuse to stall when it is finding the work challenging. I'm also more tired and know I have a time crunch, so I'm less likely to use "research" as an excuse to stall, either. It's basically my way of tricking my right brain into doing its job because it's too tired to whine at me about it. :-)

Joy:

I hear you! It’s a balancing act isn’t it? Good for you for finding a strategy that works. Never underestimate the power of a deadline, right?

A Conversation with Myself: Wherein I Give Myself a Solid Smack

There are so many other things I should be writing right now.

Like the Move Up article on Peace River native and CFL Grey Cup winner (with the Toronto Argonauts) Linden Gaydosh, whom I had the privilege of interviewing a couple of weeks ago.

Or the next chapter of The Mermaid's Tear, which, due to other commitments and the fact that I'm working on a story problem that has me stuck, I haven't worked on since Monday.

Or . . . well, I guess that's it. It feels like a lot, but when I write it down like that, it's just two things. The third one is this long-overdue blog post. And here I am, doing that.

I think the problem is that I am feeling a little bit overwhelmed with all the stuff on my plate right now. And I know that I have no one to blame but myself. (I hate that.)

I've said "no" to the extras, like volunteering for other events and even social engagements. I've barely seen my mother for the last six weeks, I've only been to see my grandmother every couple of weeks., and I haven't seen most of my friends at all, except that one time I got to go to church.

So why did my hair start falling out in clumps last week? Could it possibly be stress?

... and so is every other moment.

What I hadn't counted on, when I set up a schedule of travel to Calgary and Edmonton for book signings every other weekend (which began on January 26), was that I would still have just as much, and possibly even more, work to do during my much shorter weeks at home. I had this naive idea that I would be able to do some of that during the non-signing hours of my trips.

Ha!

So on top of the rest of it, I feel like I have been neglecting my family. Yep, the mom guilt (and wife guilt? Is that a thing?) has set in, hard.

I work alone, people. And usually, I love it. I concentrate much better without the distraction of people around, because I feel a perpetual obligation to engage socially with others when they are there. (Thus the reason why I have not been able to work in the evenings while on my trips.)

But on days like today, this is what conversations around my office sound like:

Me: Why does my list never grow any shorter? I've bumped the deadline for this Thing five times already.

Also me: The list does get shorter, dear, but some of that stuff has to happen every day. Like, every. Day. You know that. And you have a talent for perpetually overestimating how fast you work and what you can accomplish in a day. It's your strongest talent, actually. You should win a medal for it.

Me: Right, right. But I haven't been doing any writing. I'm a writer! I just wanna wriiiite! Waaaah!

Also me: Suck it up, princess. You also haven't done any of these other things, for, like, ever. And they are important, too. Unless you want to live in sloth or never have anyone pick up one of your books ever again. Is that what you want?

Me [sadly examining to-do list]: Can I just pretend I did it all and go read a book with a cup of tea instead?

Also me: Well, the tea could happen. If you want to end your days living on the street and eating from dumpsters, by all means, neglect your business. Be my guest. I won't judge. (Except I'll totally judge. And also growl a lot when we're eating the Moldy Salad special for the fifth night in a row.)

[Also Me is feeling a bit snarky today. But whiny Me has earned it.]

Okay, after that little bit of self-mockery, I am feeling a little less stuck and a little more motivated to go tackle my other problems-and-projects-of-the-day.

Hey, it's cheaper than hiring an office therapist.

I hope you have a good weekend, friend. I'm looking forward to alleviating some of that mom guilt with an afternoon bowling with my kids and a night watching T.V. with my hubby.

Both "Me"s approve.

The story for "The Mermaid's Tear" is starting to take shape. I am having so much fun writing it, and I'm glad—I needed to write a story with a bit of fun. . This week, I've really been digging deep into where my male protagonist, Zale, is coming from, plus reviewing all that I've learned about the Atlantic slave trade. I'd say that the hardest part of this whole story so far has been making sure that I am respectful of the peoples who were enslaved, while not trying to filter their experiences and attitudes too much through 21st-century eyes. Unfortunately, there are precious few personal accounts from someone who was enslaved until very late in the era, and those accounts we have are rare exceptions--they were usually from someone who was educated or a person of import in their own country, and who often had been set free for one reason or another. So their accounts may not be representative of the experiences of enslaved Africans as a whole. . While my story deals mostly with a different kind of slavery than what 18th-century Africans typically experienced, I hope that those who read the story understand the point I am trying to make about contemporary slavery and gender issues while appreciating the horrors and realities of what slaves experienced back then--and the horrors that many still experience today. . Hmm. I meant this post to be light. But it's kind of not. I guess I hope that I can find the appropriate balance between joy and difficulty in my book, too. . #realwriterproblems #research #atlanticslavetrade #bookstagram #writerslife #writersofig #mermaids #youngadult #fantasy #historical #amwriting #themermaidstearnovel #slaveryawareness #slaveryisntdead #stillaproblem

A post shared by Talena Winters (@talenawinters) on Feb 21, 2018 at 11:55am PST

7 Things: The Busy Writer's Edition

It's been way too long since I updated this blog. I've got a lot going on, which is why (obviously), so here's a brief list of what's happening:

Marketing is time-consuming.So is research.I had no idea how easy it would be to get stores to agree to book signings, and now I've got a trip to Calgary planned every two weeks until the end of March (starting last weekend.)Which is awesome, but WHOA! Best part: Awesome new friends. Seriously. I've only done three signings, and have already met some of the most amazing people in Alberta. Can't wait to see who else I get to meet!I'm on Chapter 5 of The Mermaid's Tear, and it's going to be wicked-awesome.Writing historical fantasy is fun, but see number 2.Marketing is also fun, but see number 1.

Lastly, on Monday, Melissa Keaster featured me as a guest on her blog with a post about my journey of recovery from child loss--a journey that is also intimately connected with the writing of Finding Heaven. If you're looking for a little encouragement and inspiration today, I urge you to go over there and check it out. (Even if just to prove that I still do some actual writing once in a while. Lol.)

A couple of months ago, I began writing my newest book, a historical young adult fantasy with the working title of "The Mermaid's Tear". Almost immediately, I realized that if I was going to be dealing with the Atlantic Ocean and sailors at the end of the 18th century, I was going to need to know about what was happening in the slave trade at the time, especially as one of the major themes of the book is the consequences of slavery. So I ordered in what seems to be the definitive work on the subject: "The Slave Trade" by Hugh Thomas. . Guys. This book is 900 PACKED Trade-sized (6"x9") pages. I bet it's 300,000 words. And while the topic itself is tragic and heartbreaking, all those facts and dates and names are like the most dry parts of history class. (And I LIKE history. But this is something else.) Needless to say, it has taken me a while to get even this far--merely 1/3 of the way through the book. . I've been getting frustrated, because I only have a few chapters of my story written, and I have felt like I couldn't progress any further because I didn't know enough about the world to do it right. But today, I decided: I'm going to just start writing it again. I think I have a pretty good idea where I want to go now, and I already know MUCH more about the Atlantic slave trade than I did when I started. If I discover errors as I keep writing, I can tweak the story later, but I doubt there will be major revisions required. And you can't fix what never made it onto the page! . Whew. That's a relief. I've been starving for my normal creative outlet and haven't even been reading fiction so I could force myself to read this textbook. Now I'm itching to dive in again. No pun intended. . I'm so excited to be swimming with the mermaids again! What are you planning to do this week to reach your goal? . #writerslife #amwriting #amresearching #bookstagram #history #freetheslaves #fantasy #mermaids #youngadult #historical

A post shared by Talena Winters (@talenawinters) on Jan 15, 2018 at 3:17pm PST

Bookstores: the happiest place on earth. . It's been awesome hanging out with all these brilliant authors all weekend. ;-) I'm here at Indigo Shepard Station until 4. If you're in the neighbourhood, please stop by! . #yyc #calgary #booksigning #writerslife #writersofig #indieauthor #chaptersindigo #womensfiction #findingheavennovel #bookstagram

A post shared by Talena Winters (@talenawinters) on Jan 28, 2018 at 11:05am PST

Not my traditional list of 7 Things, but, uh, Blog, consider thyself updated.

Happy Wednesday friend!

A Winter's Day In "Through the Lens"

The holidays around here have been busy in a low-key sort of way. My sister came to visit for a week, so last week was full of eating and visiting and playing games and travelling around.

My grandmother fell and broke her wrist on Thursday night, which sucks, but it meant we (Mom, Katrin, and I) got to spend a couple hours in the hospital with her while they put her arm back together and casted her, which was nice (meaning, it was nice for all four of us to have time together. It wasn't nice at all that Grandma was hurt, though she was in good spirits and feisty as ever.) We had to keep reminding her why her arm hurt and why she was in the hospital, which was a little humourous (You gotta laugh so you don't cry.) And she didn't need surgery, so yay! (Surgery for an 89-year-old? Yikes.)

My husband and kids are still on holidays this week, so I've been trying to spend as much time with them as I can in between working on writing assignments for the next issue of Move Up.

Today, I had a very little writing to do. So it was kind of a look-at-life-through-the-lens sort of day. (And a let's-sort-all-the-kids'-dressers sort of day, but that part was not nearly as fun.)

Here are a few things my camera and I saw.

Kombucha, flavoured, bottled and ready to go.

The mastermind behind this project is the man of the house. (Not me! Yay!) And it tastes great!

[image error]

Some "just because" roses Jason got me a few days ago. So pretty! The camera makes them last forever.

Jude being artistic. He's on a drawing kick right now. And he's getting pretty good at it.

Jabin playing Halo. That mop top is just the way he likes it.

Noah's been fighting a cold for a few days. Nothing like snuggling on the couch in your pj's when you're sick. (And he was being a little creative, too--while watching Jabin play Halo.)

I recently found this behind the pipe of our wood stove. Apparently, it's been there a while. And it's held together pretty well, considering how much dust it's trapped. :-) Okay, okay--I need to sweep for cobwebs. I know. Yeesh.

The sun was shining, and we are getting a brief reprieve from the deep freeze (it's frequently been around -40 or colder with wind chills and such of late) with a chill in only single digits (Celsius). Tigger's so poofy, he looks grumpy anyway.

Sunshine in the sunshine. She's always up for some attention. :-)

There's been a couple of exciting things happen over the holidays.

For one, I got to share my story on Mary DeMuth's podcast, the Restory Show. It aired on New Year's Day. If you haven't had a chance to check out her site, please pop over there.

http://www.marydemuth.com/4-17/

And lastly, I have started booking author signings throughout Alberta. My first confirmed dates are January 27 and 28 in Calgary. You can see all upcoming events and locations on my new Events page. I hope to see you soon!

Happy New Year!

No More Thumb Gaps

Many years ago, I developed a knitting technique that I call the "5-in-1 Pickup" (or its variation the 3-in-1 Pickup) to eliminate the gaps often left behind when creating the thumb on a pair of mittens. While I tried to explain this as succinctly as I could in my patterns, I sometimes received requests for more explanation.

So I made this video.

Detailed written and pictorial instructions for this technique can be found in the Stitch Tutorial section of my website here:

Eliminate Thumb Gaps with 5-in-1 Pickup

5-in-1 or 3-in-1 Pickup

No more thumb gaps when picking up stitches!

Happy gap-free knitting!

The Story of the Book Launch Event

It's been almost a month since Finding Heaven was released, and it's been a rather exciting month.

There have been a few downs, like my continuing struggle with Amazon.ca's prices. (Apparently, rather than stock it in Canada or ship from the US, Amazon in all its wisdom has decided to have a third party seller from the UK handle print copies to Canada. What the heck, Amazon?) I'm working on a solution there.

But there have been plenty of ups, not least of which is the positive feedback the book continues to generate.

A friend of mine who takes photos professionally agreed to photograph the launch event for me. I hosted it at the Peace River Library on November 16.

First of all, what a great experience. The staff at the library were awesome to work with. This might have been true no matter where I live, but I just love, love, love living in a small town. That's what I have to say about that.

The day of the launch, I had a sad moment when I thought that UPS would not deliver my package of bookmarks I had made as a special gift for the guests in time (even though they were in town, and were originally supposed to have been delivered the day before). After spending more time than I had trying to get them delivered ahead of the time marked on the website (which was for the next afternoon!), I resigned myself to not having them. But then they came! Just in time!

Three days before the launch event, I panicked. I realized I hadn't planned a bunch of stuff that should have been planned already. I started texting my friends at 10 p.m., and they were all awesome about that. I then spent pretty much the entire night on Pinterest and trying to figure out what to do. By the next evening, a sleep-deprived me had one of my oldest (as in, known me the longest) friends, Amanda Magnusson lined up as the MC, Amanda Monette of Amanda Monette Photography had agreed to take photos, and Larrissa Mundt had stepped in to help me plan other details and decorate the hall. (Those women are so amazing!)

And this was the result.

Amanda Magnusson caught in a great moment during her introduction.

I enjoyed it, too.

Not everything I had to talk about was easy to say.

I so appreciated all the people who came to the launch despite the really lousy weather. What a blessing!

We decorated with items that were meaningful to me or the story, like these beautiful old books and this softstone candle holder I brought back from India. It had been completely crushed in our luggage, and I repaired it painstakingly with Krazy Glue. To me, it represents how the broken can still be beautiful.

I find damaged things beautiful, like this mug.

[image error]

"Priceless pearls" is one of the important images in the book.

The whole family got to be there.

Jabin got right into his position as official door prize drawer.

See?

Larrissa must have been almost as good at staying behind the camera as the photographer--this is the only photo of the lady who did such a beautiful job decorating for me. (Thanks, Larrissa!)

Happy Wednesday, friend!

When the Mirror Lies

People see you as you see yourself
Getting dusty on an upper shelf
You don't have to hide yourself away
Come into the light of day.

Mirror, mirror hanging on the wall
Take the mask off, let the mirror fall
Chasing shadows of another you
Into the looking glass—you're breaking through

And on the other side you see all the love you crave
But the mirror lied—'Cause you're already beautiful.

I wrote those lyrics in 2008. They are the first and second verse and bridge of a fairly mediocre song called "Someday". (These lyrics were great. I never could quite find the right hook.)

I wrote them because of a teenage girl I knew who was hiding inside the shell of her own insecurities. She was a fellow student in my karate class, and her dad was one of the instructors. I didn't know as much about patterns of interaction at the time, and I honestly didn't know much about her personal life. But I did suspect that her painful meekness was a defense mechanism learned from long years dealing with such a domineering and gruff parent.

But looking back, who knows? She could have been assaulted or felt endangered by someone else, and maybe her dad was putting her into karate in the hopes that she would gain the confidence to come out of her shell and be able to defend herself, too.

The song was my wish for her. The lyrics of the chorus (which I'm not sharing here) expressed the hope that this person would find her wings someday and that she would become the person she was meant to be.

Sometimes I wonder if she ever did. I have no real way of knowing now. I don't even remember her name.

Over the years, I have met other people that remind me of this song. Perhaps I attract wounded people to me, or I am attracted to them because I recognize the commonality and have a desire to help them along the road.

I truly believe that God has enabled me to help many people through the truth he has taught me while he healed my own wounds. But right now, he's teaching me that the real work is still all his. I might be someone he uses, but I'm only a tool, not the builder. On my own, I can't change a thing.

Over and over again, I have seen how what we believe to be true about ourselves, we make true about ourselves. And there's nothing that anyone else can say to change our self-image unless we want to change it.

“What we believe to be true about ourselves, we make true about ourselves.”

Image copyright adogslifephoto / 123RF Stock Photo.

Do we see ourselves as a go-getter? Then we will likely not let fear hold us back.

Do we see ourselves as intelligent? Then we will likely not be intimidated by difficult problems.

Do we see ourselves as creative? Then we will likely relish the opportunity to try new things.

But if we see ourselves as unloveable? Unworthy? Without value?

Then we will manifest this in our lives in many ways, large and small. Each of them is both a subtle cry to be proven wrong, as well as a blatant challenge to be proven correct.

Because if I'm unlovable and you love me? You must not know me well enough yet.

“If I’m unlovable and you love me? You must not know me well enough yet.”

Image copyright bialasiewicz / 123RF Stock Photo.

The hardest part is watching someone you love and value try to prove to you that they don't deserve your love--in the most self-destructive ways possible.

I'm going to admit that I don't have a lot of sage wisdom to share today, folks. Right now, I'm hurting for my friend who is willfully choosing to self-destruct. It's not the kind of thing that I can do anything about, other than tell her the truth (and I have) and pray (and I am).

There are just some things ain't nobody but Jesus can fix. But if we don't let him change what the mirror tells us . . .

Then we're going to keep believing the lies.

And everyone who loves us will pay the price.

Image copyright bialasiewicz / 123RF Stock Photo.

Did this post strike a chord with you? If so, you might be interested in the recent post by my friend Melissa Keaster where she talks about how Jesus dealt with some of her own self-destructive beliefs (and I am honoured that God used my book as part of her story). Check it out here:

https://www.melissakeaster.com/blog/2017/11/29/me-too-part-six

Finding Heaven: A Story That Matters

Today's the day. After two years of writing, polishing, revising, and sharing, today is the day my book, Finding Heaven, is being released into the world.

Finding Heaven

It's never too late to make a change.

Two years ago, when I began this journey, I was terrified. I was newly grieving. I didn't know why this was the story God gave me to write, but I did know that it was the one I was supposed to write.

Not everyone "got" it. Some people that love me and whom I greatly respect didn't understand why this story had to be this way.

But I had my prayer warriors. And I prayed, a LOT.

Several times, God confirmed his command that I should write this book. He confirmed that I was doing the right thing. He told me that he was going to reach people through this book. People would be healed. Lives would be changed.

And God, in his graciousness, has already fulfilled that promise to me.

I have already received so many personal messages, emails, and tear-jerking reviews from my advanced readers that I no longer have an ounce of terror about the way this book will be received. Many of the most powerful messages are too personal to share publicly, but I treasure them, honoured that their senders would share their stories with me.

However, the public reviews have still been amazing.

Here are some of my favourites from folks who posted advance reviews on Goodreads:

Kelly says:

Started out a bit slow but once it pulled you in it kept tugging until you couldn't break free! Discussed topics that people NEED to know about while having you fall in love with the kindness, trials, and heartbreaks of each character.

Kristin Dyck, the book's editor, says:

One of the most beautifully written books I have read. The author had me laughing aloud and openly crying along with the main character. There's a message of hope and love weaved intricately into the book that kept me wanting to read more. I sometimes find long books a challenge to get through, but this one I couldn't put down. Ultimately, this is a book that is capable of making readers feel, which is what makes it so special.

Mae Stewart says:

This novel was so well written! I was on the edge of my seat - unable to put it down. It brought out so many emotions in me - tears of sorrow, tears of joy, a longing to have a Steve in my life. I love how Talena illustrated God's overarching love for us; how He calls us, how He heals us. Finding Heaven showed us how many everyday miracles we miss because we are so caught up in our busy lives. Thank you for writing this book and for sharing it with me!

My sister, Katrin, says:

The tears are how you know it's good!

I say that because there are wonderfully written parts of this book that I still can't get through without sobbing, and they are some of my favourite scenes. The author definitely isn't afraid to put these characters through the proverbial wringer -- but you can't fix what isn't broken, and Finding Heaven is ultimately about fixing people. It even made me stop and deal with things in my own past in a way I never had before, as the characters experience their traumas and remembered traumas and deal with them.

Melissa Keaster says:

A riveting, true-to-life tale of love's power to heal and redeem. 

In her latest novel, Finding Heaven, Talena Winters doesn't pull any punches. Despite being a romance, parts of the story are as gritty as real life. Sarah Daniels' journey represents many of our own. Underneath the pretty, pulled-together packaging of a fairytale is a soul in ruins believing the lies we know too well. When Sarah meets Steve McGuire—a regular guy whose life's work is to help the vulnerable, abused, and oppressed—she feels trapped in her unhappy existence, but Steve inspires her to make a change. One change leads to another. Helped along by the unconditional love of friends, Sarah embraces an uncertain future and discovers an inner strength she didn't know she had. Her story brings the reader through shocking reality and hellish lows, but these make the victory of finding heaven all the sweeter. 

Though I haven't experienced the depth of Sarah's suffering, I know it in part. Reading her thoughts were like reading my own. We believed the same lies; even after much time and healing, I continued to believe some of them. As Steve was for Sarah, God used this story as an agent of change and healing in my life, for which I'm unspeakably grateful.

But this next review is one of my favourite publicly-shared reviews. This is only an excerpt of the full review. I do not know Corrie-Ann personally (though we have a mutual connection, as it turns out). This review brought me to tears, because reviews like this are exactly why I kept writing, and kept believing in my book when others didn't.

Corrie-Ann says:

*** TRIGGER WARNING! This book contains topics such as; sexual abuse, rape, and domestic violence. This also includes a couple of fairly graphic scenes of such nature. ***

Speaking as someone who is a survivor of all the above tragedies, Talena had me snot crying throughout most of the book. Sarah is almost literally the book form of me, my experiences, my Spirit.

The doubts, the insecurities, the mistrust Sarah has, and is trying to grapple, throughout the book is very real, and very raw. Making the excuses for the ill-behaviour of her husband, and even of family from her childhood past, is quite normal, and common amongst those who've been violated in ways they should have never been violated. The strength, and attitudes of Steve, is exactly what Sarah needs to finally make the positive changes in her life. Even with all her own doubts and insecurities still consuming her. She thinks highly of Steve, but, even Steve has a past he's not so proud of, and his own doubts and insecurities. Be he relies on his faith, and the love of his family, and true friends, to get him through it. 

Faith. Particularly, Faith in God. I loved the way in which Talena handled this topic in the book as well. It was soft, it was gentle, compassionate, and not pushy. It wasn't about power, but something that was truly accepting. It was love. And faith, and devotion. 

As someone who is not of the Christo-Judaic faith, but a very Spiritual and Faithful person in my own right, I can completely appreciate the tender attentiveness Talena captures in God, and also allowing someone to heal, and reconcile themselves in their Faith, or lack thereof. 

As harrowing as the topic matter is, I do fully, recommend this book to anyone. 

It's about unearthing the real you after being under the mudslide for so long. 
It still tugs at my heartstrings. 

Today's the day, friend. Go grab your copy of Finding Heaven (buy links on the book's page.)

May you be blessed.

P.S. While you're on the page, scroll to the bottom for a "soundtrack" playlist of encouraging songs that complement the book. :-)

7 Moments: What's Been Keeping Me Busy

I know it has been way too long since I posted. When was the last time I went over a month without a post? It's been a long while. But the cool thing is that the reason I haven't posted isn't because I had nothing to talk about. In fact, it was the opposite--my life has been so full that I simply haven't had the extra time in my day.

I've barely even had time to post to social media. And though I'm catching up, I'm still a little short on time (what with Finding Heaven launching on Tuesday, for one).

So, rather than taking a bunch of your time and mine talking about it, I'm just going to give you a quick photo essay of what's been up with me.

Enjoy.

Combination Thanksgiving celebration/Grandma's 89th birthday celebration, which also included Mom and Mike. We're still working on getting Grandma to remember that she's now 89. :-)

The ground had already started to freeze by the time I dug up my carrots, but I still got most of them up. They reached a decent size, considering how neglected they were in terms of thinning and watering. (These are sweet Nantes variety, so not a huge carrot.)

This look of intense concentration brought to you by The Music Man Jr. Tonight is our last rehearsal, and performances start on Thursday! I'm excited (and a little terrified), but thankfully, the kids are all so amazing that no one will be looking at me. Unless I screw up. Lol. . Thank you to @amandamonettephotos for sharing this image with me. With all the hours I've spent at a piano in my life, I don't have many photos to prove it. :-) . Happy Tuesday! . #stretchingmycomfortzone #prayingidontscrewup #ilovemusicaltheatre #musicaltheatre #musicaltheatrenerd #peaceplayers #musicmanjr #pianist #musician

A post shared by Talena Winters (@talenawinters) on Oct 24, 2017 at 12:42pm PDT

A stunning display of Northern Lights on an only mildly-chilly evening with a camera handy and some time to experiment resulted in this photo. It was pretty fun.

And this, my friends, is why you order a proof copy. :-) This is my first time using the hardcover format, and I was a little disappointed to find that this is how it printed on the cloth binding with the way I set it up. But, it's all fixed now! (I hope.) #joysofselfpublishing . And, in related news, thanks to the help of my friend Philip, (@pjvernon), today I discovered that this book is not just #womensfiction, but also #romanticsuspense and even #domesticnoir. How fun is that? (Okay, not "fun" persay. That's not really an adjective one uses for domestic noir.) . Only 12 days left before launch. Excuse me while I go hyperventilate into a paper bag for a while . . . . #findingheavennovel #writersofig #amwriting #amreading #books #indieauthor

A post shared by Talena Winters (@talenawinters) on Nov 2, 2017 at 3:54pm PDT

New pattern inspired by Jabin, who loses mittens faster than you can say Dr. Seuss. Last year, he had to rely on Magic Mitties. This year, feeling inspired to make something, I thought I'd give him another chance to show me how responsible he's become. Hope it works. (After trying these one at this point, he also decided he'd rather have gloves than glittens. So, the transformation is underway.)

In between all the writing, teaching, practicing, performing, knitting, and marketing, I am occasionally able to sneak in some fiction reading. Looking forward to finishing this new book from Jane Ann McLachlan in the next few days. Also, like the mug my mother-in-law got me? (I do. I LUURRRRV it!)

And a bonus: my family in their Halloween costumes. :-)