Danielle Steel's Blog, page 49

“Power Play”

Hi Everyone,

Exciting news!!! My new hardcover book “Power Play” is going to be #1 on the New York Times Bestseller list this coming Sunday, March 30th.  Traditionally, that’s the prestigious list that writers strive to get on. There are others that matter too, but being #1 on that list is certainly an encouraging sign that the book is doing well and people like it. The list is sent to people in the business (publishers, agents) 10 days ahead of time so I got the news last week that it’s going to be #1 this Sunday, and I’m REALLY happy about it.

Above all, I hope that YOU like the book. It’s about two very successful CEO’s, a man and a woman, and how differently men and women react to success and professional (or political) ‘power’. For some men, having that kind of success is an aphrodisiac, and for some women that kind of responsibility, being the head of a major company, is very isolating. Also, as a rule, successful men are extremely attractive to women, and successful women are generally perceived as VERY unattractive to men, and very daunting, even if they’re not. The story revolves around these two people, and the complications and issues in their lives, the difficult situations they encounter at work and in their private lives. Writing it was a fascinating study of modern times in the business world, the people in it, the pressures on them, and how they deal with it. How they handle their families, and what their priorities are, and the leeway they give themselves, in some cases, to cross some very important lines, both in business, and in their private lives. I hope you find that it makes for a fascinating and exciting book, and I really hope you read it!!! I loved writing the book, and creating the people in it…..I hope you really enjoy it!!!

love,  danielle

Cinderella After the Ball.

Hi Everyone

First of all, Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you who are of Irish descent. In the international mix of my ancestry (Portuguese, Spanish, German, French), I can’t make any claim to Irish, so it’s not my holiday. I think there was an English great grandfather somewhere on my mother’s side, but that’s about it. It’s always such a festive day, so if you’re Irish, or want to celebrate with them, have a Great Day!!!

Other than that, life is getting back to normal after the glamour of fashion week in Paris, and the real excitement of being decorated with the Legion of Honor. Now I get to wear the little red ribbon on my clothes that identifies me as a Knight of the Order of the Legion of Honor (and a miniature of the medal for special events). It’s a big distinction in France, and I’m wearing the red ribbon with much pride. But then after the honor, and the ceremony, and the fashion shows, you go back to real life. Someone has to take out the garbage, sometimes me, feed the dogs, go to the dry cleaner, and do all the mundane stuff we all do. I had a lot of work to do this week, taxes are due, money is tight, kids have problems, dogs get sick. Two of our family’s dogs had surgery this week, which worried me. And I had to grind through all the stuff that wears you out, worries you, and is a LOT less fun than being decorated, and watching a fashion show by Chanel or Dior. Welcome to real life!!! It can’t be a party every day, and I’m lucky that it’s fun some of the time. Getting the Legion of Honor really thrilled me, and it’s a once in a lifetime event!!! I will cherish the memory of it forever, and loved sharing it with my children who were here.

I had a classic French experience this week. I pay my phone and internet bills by automatic transfer from my bank, which is easier than writing one more check every month. And lo and behold, I discovered that six months ago, the phone company and my bank got in an ‘argument’, a disagreement over procedures, so my bank stopped making the transfers, but never told me. The phone company wasn’t getting paid, and didn’t tell me. And yesterday I had one of those nightmare days where modern communication was vital: I had to do some things with my bank in California, had some important business to do with my agent, one of my children needed advice, another was travelling, I was emailing and calling people in several countries, doing business, and needed phone and Internet vitally. And guess what? All my phone and internet services went dead. Just like that, one minute a string of emails, and the next, a total black out. What happened??? I couldn’t figure it out, except a notice on my screen said I hadn’t paid my bill. Impossible!! Well not so impossible. I called the bank, who blamed the phone company for not complying with their ‘norms’ so they stopped paying them. I called the phone company who told me to get another bank. And guess who got squeezed in the middle with no phone or Internet service on a day I REALLY needed it??? Me, of course. What a crazy, ridiculous situation. So I paid my bill by credit card on the phone, and they promised that sometime 2 days later, I would get service back. Oh Great. And 2 days with no communication at all, and my whole life was conducted by cell phone. How crazy is that? While the phone company and my bank were throwing rocks at each other, I got bonked on the head and stunned into silence. It made for a VERY annoying day!!!! And I was really mad. Other than that misadventure, I love France, and Paris. The weather has been gorgeous and spring like and makes one dream.

So it’s back to real life for me. I may be a Knight now, but the phone company wasn’t impressed. My dogs aren’t impressed, I have to feed them now, and take out the garbage….and do some work….then I’ll do the dishes…..some laundry….I feel just like Cinderella after the ball!!!

love, Danielle

 

Paris Fashion Week

Hi Everyone,

It’s been a busy ten days in Paris with the Ready to Wear Fashion shows in full swing (to show clothes for next fall, so store buyers can see them and order them now, 6 months ahead of time). It’s always a crazy time, with show after show every day, and for those who love fashion it’s like a ten day long buffet of constant treats, feasts to the eye, exciting line ups with beautiful clothes worn by gorgeous models, often in amazing locations. And by the end of the week, I think everyone is on overdose, both those who design the clothes and put the shows together, and those who see dazzling fashion shows all day every day for about 10 days. I had a front row seat both to the behind the scenes hard work, and the front row excitement of being a spectator, with my three daughters who work in fashion staying with me for ten days. Before Paris fashion week was New York fashion week with American designers, Milan where the Italians show their latest creations, London Fashion week, and finally Paris. By today, I was almost reeling from the beauty and the gluttony of it. There are anywhere from 35 to 75 outfits in each show, worn by 40 or 50 models (depending on who the designers are), and each show is attended by from 300 to 1,000 people, buyers, press, fashionistas, movie stars, celebrities, customers, and there are several shows every day.

I lucked out the way the show schedule played out, and the first show I saw was Balenciaga, which is always one of the most beautiful, and one of my daughters is the design consultant to the designer, Alexander Wang, who designs for Balenciaga now. The show was held in the early morning on a rainy day at the planetarium, a beautiful old building with a circular staircase. I was excited to see Alex Wang’s and my daughter’s work, and What a Show!!! It was an absolutely spectacular show, one of the best I’ve ever seen. Incredibly chic, elegant, which really showed Alex Wang’s talent. I was thrilled with what I saw, and I knew just how hard they had all worked on it, as I watched my daughter come home at 2 am at night, and leave for work again at 6:30 the next day. They all work incredibly hard to put together the season’s collection and put on the show. It was going to be hard for anything to match up to that first show. I went with two of my other daughters and we were very proud!!

The next show I saw was Dior, held in a specially constructed tent/structure behind the Rodin Museum on the Left Bank (right down the street from the house where I lived in my teens in Paris), and it was a beautifully done show by Raf Simons. A lot of it looked too young for me to wear, but it did honor to the house of Dior. And the audience was very exciting too. I sat across from the singer Rihanna, wearing a red mink coat!! There were lots of celebrities, famous singers, and movie stars there.

On Saturday, the day after the Dior Show, I took a day off from fashion, to receive a medal and be knighted, which was incredibly exciting for me; my friends and family were there (see last week’s blog).

And on Sunday, one of my daughters and I raced out again, to see the Celine show, another of our favorites, with more spectacular clothes. The Celine clothes are very elegant, and simple, with sleek lines. There were lots of earth tones, and a number of black and white outfits that were very chic. I sat across from the famous model Stella Tennent, and rapper Kanye West. The show was held at a tennis club in a residential part of Paris. And that night, there was the Givenchy show in a huge industrial warehouse on the outskirts of Paris, and I have to confess, by then I was so exhausted from my decoration ceremony and party the night before, and all the shows I’d been seeing that I skipped the Givenchy show, and met my daughters for dinner later, at one of our favorite restaurants. And on Monday, I missed the Giambattista Valli show, due to a mix up with the tickets. But I watched both shows I missed online.

There were lots of shows I didn’t get to, but since I do it for fun and not for work, one show a day works best for me. And on Tuesday, I ended my week of fashion shows with another knockout—the best shows I saw were the first (Balenciaga) and the last (Chanel.)

The Chanel show is always held at the Grand Palais, a big very old beautiful glass structure, and Chanel always comes up with amazing decors—-a real iceberg one season that had been flown in from Sweden (and was flown back after the show), an enormous lion that almost reached the roof of the glass palace, a scene that looked like the desolation of the end of the world, with sand and giant chrystals everywhere—-but this time the decor was the most fun of all. It was designed to look like a GIANT supermarket, with aisles, and food on all the shelves (in boxes with clever names). Instead of coming out in a straight line, the models appeared from all over the place wearing the new collection, and headed down the aisles with supermarket carts, loading them up with the ‘food’ with fun labels in very real-seeming boxes. It was funny and wonderful, and full of humor, it was like being part of a play. There were fruit stands on the way in, candy on the way out, and the whole show was a delight to watch. I always love it when people are playful with fashion, instead of taking it too seriously, and no one does it better than Karl Lagerfeld, who designs for Chanel. It was an absolutely fabulous decor, and the clothes were great, with lots of bright colors. The whole thing was a ton of fun. Everyone was smiling when they left the show, and for me, it was the perfect end to a fun week. I’m actually sorry to see it end, and to see my daughters leave and go back to work in their cities. But I had a great time at the shows with them…..and now I get to wear flat shoes and jeans when I go back to work, but it sure was a terrific week!!! And now, it feels a little bit like being Cinderella after the ball when it’s over. I can’t wait to do it again!!!

love, danielle

Wow!!

Hi Everyone,

When I woke up on New Year’s Day, I had an email from a friend in Paris, congratulating me for something, and telling me that it was ‘greatly deserved’. I had no idea what they were talking about, and assumed that they had celebrated New Year’s eve a little too exuberantly, and had sent me a message that made no sense. Within hours though, I got other emails like it from other friends. I had totally forgotten that the list of people to be honored with the illustrious Legion of Honor awards is published in the newspapers in France on New Year’s Day. (And also on Independence Day, on the 14th of July, Bastille Day). The announcements are only made twice a year. And several hours later, a press release had gone out all over the world. And by nightfall I was getting emails of congratulation from countries as far away as India and Pakistan. My other big surprise over the announcement—-aside from being on the list of honorees—–is that I always thought that the Legion of Honor was only known in France, and I was quite amazed to realize that people in every country seemed to know what it was, even in the States. And in France, it is a huge deal. Since I grew up there for part of my youth, and went to French schools, and have now spent a good part of my adulthood there, I not only knew about it, but was stunned to hear that I was about to be knighted with the Legion of Honor in France. Who? Me? Wow!!!

Twelve years ago, I was knighted in France in the “Order of Arts and letters”, at a high rank, for my literary achievements. I was touched and flattered, and given how many books I’ve written (132 to date), and have been published, in other countries (69) as well as the States, the award for “Arts and Letters” made sense. But the Legion of Honor is the most important distinction in France. It dates back to the time of Napoleon, and was originally created to honor great warriors, usually for acts of extraordinary heroism in battle. In its early days, it was never given to women, and surely not to foreigners. In the 200 years since it began, it is in fact given to women, though less frequently than to men, and sometimes though not often to foreigners. And it is given for major lifetime achievements, not just courage in battle. (Walt Disney was decorated with the Legion of Honor for instance) I’m not sure what it is equal to in the States, maybe the Congressional Medal of Honor, or the Purple Heart, though I’m not sure. There are three grades of it, and you begin as a Knight, graduate to Officer eventually, and after many years and more impressive achievements, you become a Commander. Those who have been decorated with the Legion of Honor as a knight wear a little red thread sewn to their lapel (of a jacket), ‘Officers’ wear a small round red ‘rosette’, very small also on the lapel of a jacket, and a Commander wears the same rosette sewn onto a small white ribbon. And it is a HUGE deal in France. And nowadays, it is given for more general lifetime achievement of an important nature. You have to do something pretty big over a long period of time to be knighted by the Order of the Legion of Honor. And when I heard that I was going to receive the prestigious decoration my initial reaction was “Who? Me?”. As it turns out, I was on this year’s list not just for my literary career, and the number of books I’ve written, and their success in France as well, but for my deep commitment to and work with the mentally ill and homeless, for suicide and child abuse prevention, for my life, and longtime ties to France. But still, when I heard that I was going to receive it, my reaction was still, “Who? Me?” But in spite of that, I was totally thrilled. I was stunned to be included in the ranks of impressive people who have been knighted with that award.

Once you are on that list, you are allowed to choose where you want to receive it, when, and who you would like to give it to you, within the year. You can even be decorated by the President of France, if they agree to, at a group ceremony, at the French equivalent of the White House, the Elysee. So after my initial amazement, I asked the husband of a friend to give me the medal that goes with it at a private ceremony with close friends and my family. He is the head of a major bank in France (similar to the World Bank), was previously a Cabinet Minister and the Secretary of State of France for Europe, and we share the personal bond of having lost sons at a young age to suicide. And I later learned that he was one of the people who had recommended me for the award, so his giving me the medal seemed appropriate. The other person who had recommended me was the mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delanoe, who knew of my street outreach work with the homeless in the States for many years, and to a lesser degree in France, but my involvement there too. And my work providing peer counseling for bereaved parents who have lost children. I was very touched when my friend’s husband agreed to give it to me, and his doing so had to be approved by the Grand Chancellery of the Legion of Honor, it has to be given by a person who has the Legion of Honor at a higher rank. He qualified, so that worked. Then I had to decide on a location. I chose a pretty restaurant I love, with a lovely garden. And the big challenge was finding a date that worked for my children, because it was inconceivable to me to receive the medal and be knighted without them there. They all came when I was knighted the first time 12 years ago, but they were younger and it was a lot easier then. The younger ones were still children a dozen years ago, and the older ones in college. Now all of them have serious jobs, heavy work schedules, and the 3 older ones are married and have young children. The date fell into place, and everything moved ahead. I was still feeling dazed, but thrilled (with that odd feeling one gets when something unusually wonderful happens that there must be some mistake).

Fast forward the film two months to yesterday, which was The Big Day, the Award Ceremony. My five youngest children were able to come, three of whom work in Paris at times (in fashion) and had to be there for work. The other two arranged 3 days off from their jobs, and flew from California to Paris to be there. Unfortunately, my three oldest children were unable to come, which I was sad about, but no other date worked. The location wasn’t available in the summer, nor the award giver. A very dear old friend gave me the medal as a gift (also a tradition in France), the place and time were set. My family arranged to come (a brother in law from Germany, and a niece from London), and 50 close friends from my Paris life. None of my American friends were able to come, but it’s a long way to travel, and they all have busy lives, and for one reason or another (health, or business and family obligations), none could come for the ceremony.

And in the last few days before the award ceremony, I tormented myself about whether I deserved it. What had I done to deserve such an honor? I hadn’t found a cure to an illness, nor committed acts of bravery in wartime; I hadn’t invented anything vital to the health and well being of mankind. My life seemed ordinary to me, in terms of extraordinary achievement. I felt undeserving of such an illustrious award. I hadn’t found a cure for mental illness, nor solved the problem of homelessness either in France or the States. All I had done was bring comfort to some, and helped keep hope alive for others, which didn’t seem like enough for such a high honor. I strive to be a good person, but so do most people. I felt tiny and humbled in the face of such a distinction. And I felt smaller and smaller as the day approached. And to add to my anxiety over it, I had to give a speech at the ceremony—-and I am terrified of public speaking, and it’s not something I do well. And what could I say? And how would I say it, overwhelmed with emotion? But despite my fears and nervousness, the big day came. Yesterday.

I went to the location before the event to check the sound system for the speeches (and one of my daughters had done a terrific playlist on her iPod to play during the party), and I went to watch the flowers delivered: beautiful red tulips on the tables where my friends would sit after the ceremony, and enormously tall red roses behind me and the person giving me the medal, and for his speech and mine. My heart pounded just thinking about it. My 5 children who would be attending were in Paris and wonderful to me. My friends were excited, and so was I, but I was terrified of the whole event nonetheless. And the ceremony had the solemnity of a wedding, as everyone gathered, and I worried more and more about my speech.

The person giving me the medal made his very generous speech, and pinned the medal to my dress. It’s a silver medal with enamel in green, white and blue, the whole thing hanging from a wide red ribbon, all of it about 5 or 6 inches tall. Men can wear the medal again for dress occasions. Women can only wear the medal on the day it is given to them, and from then on can only wear a tiny miniature of it. There is no pretense of equality there, but women are lucky to get the Legion of Honor at all!!! And I had already bought all the assorted little versions of the red ribbon to wear from then on. And somehow, miraculously, I got through the speech, without fainting, or hiding under a chair. My knees were knocking (literally) and my voice shaking, but I managed to get through the 5 minute speech I had prepared, and expressed my deep appreciation for the award, and my friends and family who were there. It was an emotional moment for me. And when it was over, I was suddenly overwhelmed with excitement, and truly thrilled (and stopped worrying about whether I deserved it, and just enjoyed the moment thoroughly). It was a magical evening with my family and friends. My family was there from Germany, England, France, and the States, and I mentioned my multi-national background in the speech: German Father, Portuguese mother, Spanish cousins, education and early life in France, married to a French man, and an Italian, long life and career in the States, and children in the States, and born in New York myself, though I spent much of my youth in France, and now live here part time again. It’s enough to confuse anyone!!! But above all, I said how grateful I was for the award, and how much it meant to me. My children were proud and adorable, my friends were wonderful, and I felt like I was walking on air all night. And no, I hadn’t cured an illness or won a war, but I finally decided that if they were going to honor me, I was going to enjoy every minute of it, and I did. The ceremony was at 6:30 in the evening, and the party ended at midnight. And like Cinderella, I went home, not with one glass slipper, but with the exceptionally beautiful medal pinned to my dress. I took it off when I got home, and put it on a little stand on the mantelpiece and stared at it in awe and disbelief. Is that really mine?? How did I ever get that? But now, the next morning, it’s still there, and for the first time, I will wear the little red ribbon today when I go out, and those in the know will realize what it means….that for some amazing, miraculous reason I was knighted with the Legion of Honor yesterday. I’m so grateful for the honor, the whole event was magical, and it was a day I will never forget, and all I can say is Wow!!!! I feel very blessed!!! And am so thrilled to have shared it with my children and friends who were there….amazing!!!

love, Danielle

Flying Around

Hi Everyone,

Well, it’s that time again, where I’ve flown through three cities and two countries in 3 days, and have made it from one place I call home to the other. Whew!! I fly with two of my dogs who travel with me, and when we got home, they looked exhausted, and collapsed into their beds with relief, while I unpacked, read my mail, and tried to get organized to shift gears tomorrow. And I have to admit the change of scene feels great. I left one group of my children at one home, visited one of my daughters on the way, and met up with another daughter at the end of the trip. And I’m looking forward to spending 4 days with 5 of my children. I cruised through cold sunny weather, into ice and left over snow on the ground in New York, and wound up in almost springlike weather. It’s enough to confuse anyone, but it’s a nice confusion.

I dont have anything too exciting to tell you today, but next week I will tell you about my Legion of Honor award, and the week after, I will have a report for you on the fashion week fashion shows I go to….so stay tuned!!!

It’s always an interesting shift when I switch countries and cultures, and the travelling is tiring but it’s worth it. Have a great week, I will be gathering things to tell you about next week. Until then, I hope all goes well for you this week!!! love, danielle

Personally

Hi Everyone,

I hope your week is off to a good start. And your year, since the year is still young and just beginning. Mine has been a slice of life so far, some good stuff, and not so good stuff. Last year ended on a mixed note too, an anonymous death threat, which was unpleasant, and the best New Year’s Eve I’ve ever had, spent with my kids, which was truly wonderful. And on New Year’s Day, I got the news that I am going to be given the Legion of Honor award in France (it’s being ‘knighted’ with a beautiful medal), which is a Big Deal, and a great honor. There have been a few minor bumps since the new year started, some hurt feelings occasionally, and the local SF press ran a series of nasty articles about me, complaining that I have a high hedge around my house there, and making nasty personal comments about me. I guess they think that sells papers, but it wasn’t true or nice, and being human it hurt my feelings. Over the years, I have noticed that sometimes when good things happen to us (a new man, a marriage or new romance, a new baby, or wonderful new job), it doesn’t always inspire delight in others, but often inspires jealousy. Jealousy is something to be careful of in life. It’s disappointing and upsetting when it’s focused on you, and a good thing to try to avoid!!!

Thinking about all that today, I was reminded of one of my own failings, or character flaws. I take things personally. It’s so easy for people to say, “It’s not personal, but…..” which then becomes a license to say something really awful to you that decks you and hits you right in the gut. Or “it’s not personal, it’s business” when you get fired or don’t get the raise or opportunity you know you deserve. Or sometimes even a friend can do something thoughtless, and even if not meant that way, it seems so personal. And I have a tendency to take things personally. As a mother, an employer, and even as a woman, it’s easy to get blamed for things unfairly. And all my life, when people have done or said something unkind to me, I take it personally—–without thinking that maybe it has nothing to do with me, that that person may just be limited and not have much to give, or that something else is going on in their life. Without looking any further, I get my feelings hurt. It’s something I still work on, to broaden my vision and realize that maybe it isn’t personal at all. But it sure feels like it at times. And hate mail, death threats, and some of the less pleasant things that come with fame aren’t personal either. They are just the expressions of some crazy who doesn’t even know you. But at times, it all FEELS personal. Especially when attacks or disappointments come from people you know, or love. But even then, it may not be personal at all.

Being shy, I often don’t express it when people hurt my feelings, but just sit with it and let it bother me, in silence. And recently, I had an interesting experience. I went to a dinner party where I knew that 4 of the guests were people who had hurt my feelings, and I had taken it very personally. So out of 12 people at the table, there were 4 people there I didn’t want to sit next to, and was hoping that I wouldn’t have to. And then, on the way there, I realized how silly that was. From taking things personally, I didn’t want to sit next to one third of the guests (or even be there), and I figured that if I kept taking things personally (and not speaking up about it at the time to resolve it), pretty soon, I wouldn’t want to sit next to anyone, and would have to sit at a separate table alone. So I tried to adjust my attitude about it, and had a nice time anyway (and sat next to one of them of course!! And one of the four I was hoping to avoid was rude to me again. He probably just has bad manners and it’s not about me, or doesn’t like me, which is possible too). But it was a good illustration that by taking things too personally, we can start to shrink our world.

I came across a saying today that I thought was very apt on the subject, by Lewis Smedes, a theologian: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you”. So I guess for me, it’s time to at least try not to take things personally, and forgive those who have hurt my feelings. That ought to keep me busy for a while…..and it’s a nice goal to have, with a sense of freedom if you don’t take things personally. That sounds good to me. Have a great week!!!

love, danielle

Mixed Blessing

Hi everyone, well here it is again. Valentine’s Day. The very words bring back an avalanche of memories, not all of them pleasant. Although there were a few great ones. The father of 8 of my children proposed to me the day before Valentine’s Day, that was a GREAT Valentine’s Day. The best ever. And there were romances that provided some lovely Valentine’s Days, and my marriages, and then there has been a gray area about it since. More than any other day of the year, Valentine’s Day is a day that says you MUST be in a couple, or have someone madly in love with you, drooling at your feet, or sweeping you off your feet. It would be lovely to get all dressed up and go to a romantic dinner, to have someone wine and dine you, and enjoy that incredible feeling of being madly in love.Or better yet, getting proposed to on Valentine’s Day. What could be better than that? True love.

But real life being what it is, that isn’t always the case. Sometimes a romance or marriage may have gone flat or ended, and sometimes for whatever reason, at some point, we all wind up spending Valentine’s Day alone. You can be a totally nice person, and even a very attractive one, and the right man or woman of the hour doesn’t materialize. And therein lies the challenge of this one very special day of the year. What do you do when you have no one to spend it with, when you’re all by yourself, have no one to spend the evening with, and no one has sent you candy or flowers, or a valentine?

I’ve shared with you before that I was the only girl in 3rd grade who didn’t get a Valentine. I think it made me somewhat doubtful about Valentine’s Day at an early age. And later as an adult, you see special preparations in restaurants, or hear of a friend’s dinner plans for that night (with a smug expression, of ha ha!! I have a date and you don’t!!!….thanks a lot). Even more than New Year’s Eve, which is a couple holiday too, Valentine is the one night of the year when if no one is in love with you, and you’re not dating anyone, you feel like a total loser.

It’s tough coming up with a solution that makes it hurt less. I even went to a Sunday church service once, just a regular one, on Valentine’s Day, where they had all the couples stand up so we could applaud them, and the rest of us all stayed seated, and wanted to hide under the church pews. Did the priest have to single us out to show the entire congregation that no one wanted us? The couples were each handed a flower on the way out of church, and the rest of us uncoupled ones left empty handed, in deep sorrow and shame. That was a VERY depressing Valentine’s Day, and definitely a low point. (I complained to the priest about it later, who was totally stunned by how the un-coupled people felt at that service).

Like all things, we will make it through this one. It’s only one day of the year. It would be nice to have flowers and candy and a partner to love us. And this could just be an off year. But if we are alone on this fateful day, it seems worthwhile to remind you that the man of your dreams may be right around the corner, and may have appeared by next year. And in the meantime, we have to be good sports about it, and smile at the irony of it .Some of the most appealing women I know have been date-less on Valentine’s Day. When the time is right, we’ll have someone to share it with. And if this is an off year, and you don’t have a date, try to focus on the fact that you don’t know who will wander into your life next week, or next month or next year. He may be just the one you’re waiting for now.

Try not to assume that if you’re alone now, you’ll be alone forever. I strongly doubt that. So for some of us, Valentine’s Day will be a non-event. If that’s the case for you, try to do something fun and see what happens next year.

love, danielle

Half Full

Hi Everyone,

It’s been one of those whirlwind weeks when everything rushes past me, or seems to, like an express train, and carries me along. Some weeks are like that, and this one was a microcosm of my life. Sometimes, life is quiet, and I wish something interesting would happen, this wasn’t one of those. We all have boring times, and quiet times we enjoy, busy times that can be fun, and other times when it feels like the balls are being pitched at you faster than you can hit them, or even see them before they hit you.

Most of the time, my life is pretty ordinary, I worry about my kids, my dogs, help the kids solve small problems when I can, some piece of machinery not working (a projector in my daughter’s apartment this week), my dogs had an eye problem and I took them to the vet. I went to the ‘reweaving’ place in Paris to get something torn repaired. My refrigerator sounded like a 747 was landing on it or about to take off, so I went to look at new refrigerators, and wound up having the current one repaired for $40.00, a MUCH better solution. So I do the same boring stuff everyone else does. I have the same worries as most people, the same challenges in a day’s time, car repairs, trips to the dentist, concerns about my kids. And then added to that are the things that come with fame, the headaches, sometimes the threats, and also the opportunities, and even some very fun stuff. So along with the refrigerator shopping and repair, I got to go to two gorgeous fashion shows this week, (which I wrote a blog about, the shows were at Dior and Chanel), and there is no question, events like that are exceptional and dazzling and special (but despite that, my fridge still goes out of whack, my fridge does NOT care if I’m famous or not. And I still go to the vet and the dry cleaner). And the fun part of fame is great. I also got to go to Prada, and see some clothes before they put them in the store, and that was really fun too. On the less fun side of fame, there were a series of very nasty articles about me in the San Francisco press, that the journalist who wrote them thought the hedge around my house in San Francisco is too tall. And I did something I never do, I wrote an Op Ed/letter to the editor in response, but the articles were just too mean spirited not to speak up. In a world so full of real problems, starving people, people out of work, children in jeopardy, the economy tough—-does anyone really care about my hedge? I had to speak up, and the response to my letter to the editor has been kind, supportive, and warm. I’m glad I spoke up.

In Paris this week, I had a problem with a neighbor who borrowed an apartment above the one where I live, and invited 300 people to a party, who invaded the building halls and rang my doorbell all night. She was selling furniture out of her apartment, which is illegal. So I had to deal with her, the building owner, my lawyer and eventually the police. Things have finally calmed down but it was time consuming and a pain in the neck. I had a great ‘girls’ dinner one night with 3 wonderful women friends. And dinner with 2 men friends a few nights before that. I enjoyed time with my daughter while she spent a few days with me, and came to work. I had some lovely conversations with some of my other children, and some not so lovely conversations with some of the others. I had business stresses and some disappointments, and some disappointing conversations with other people, and a minor disagreement with a friend over something ridiculously stupid. And I’ve been busy getting ready for the ceremony and reception for the award I’m getting in France, the Legion of Honor, which is a huge honor in France. So I met with the florist, the restaurant, was given the medal by a friend, which an official will pin on me. The medal is gorgeous. And I met with the man who will do the official ceremony, to discuss his speech, and mine (and I am terrified of giving speeches). And in between all that, I answered work emails, and talked to my editor about some work I’m doing. It was a chock full, insanely busy week. It didn’t seem that way when it started, but by the end of the week, my days felt like an overstuffed sausage ready to burst. One thing added to another, both special events, and ordinary ones, some headaches and problems to solve, the disappointments I mentioned that made my heart ache. By the end of the week, I was exhausted, and it all felt like too much, and it got me down.

There is no question, I have a big life. Not in the sense that it’s so important, and a lot of it isn’t. But there is a lot in it. I have many children whom I love and worry about, I work very hard and write a lot of books, I live in 2 cities six thousand miles apart which is sometimes hard to manage, I have employees I care about, obligations to my publisher, dogs I love, and the usual machinery that breaks and falls apart. Just having 8 kids, even as young adults, is a full time job. And when you add the rest to it, it’s a lot. When all is going smoothly, it is an enviable life. When it’s not, it can really be overwhelming at times. And problems are like grapes, they always seem to come in bunches, often about things you really care about or that impact your life. And you can’t control what’s going to happen. When the ‘shit hits the fan’, you have to deal with it, before you get buried in it, and that’s not a lot of fun. So between the fashion shows in Paris, and advance peek at clothes collections, I’m dealing with some real stuff too, very real, that can be very upsetting at times. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love my kids, our big family, the work I do no matter how pressured it gets at times or the demands it puts on me, and living in 2 cities which adds a lot of joy to my life. And I love my friends. And my dogs of course.

By the end of the week, I looked at all I’d done and the things that had happened, and my head was spinning. And when I focused on the disappointments (and there were more than a few big ones this week), and the problems (also a few too many), my spirits sank and I decided that the glass was half full, or maybe even less than that. I spent a couple of nights ‘eating worms’ as they say, when you feel sorry for yourself, and I confess that I did. And I was tired too. And the problems and disappointments broadsided me, I hadn’t expected them. And then with a little more calm, I looked at the good things that had happened this week, there were a lot of those too. My daughter’s visit, the problems I was able to solve (not all, but a few), the children who called me and were really sweet to me, the friends who are there for me, the award that I’ll be getting, which acknowledges my hard work, the praise of my editor, and the two nice evenings I spent with friends.  It’s the same for all of us. Sometimes life hands you some really awful things to deal with, the death of loved ones, or loss of health, or the loss of jobs you need to support your family, the money you need to live on, or something terrible happening to a child. And some things can’t be fixed. But in our everyday lives, with most occurrences, we have a choice as to whether we see the glass half empty or half full. By week’s end, I had no question about it, I was convinced the glass was even less than half full. But was it really?? When I took a closer look, I realized it was actually half full, and I could see it either way. Half empty or half full??? I had just as many problems to deal with, but seeing it as half full seemed like a much better choice. I can’t always do that, and sometimes seeing it negatively is the easier choice. But seeing it as half full was the better choice, and it was equally true, and made me feel a lot better. It was a good reminder to me to count my blessings, and I have many…..so report from the front from me: the glass is half full. I hope yours is too!!!

love, danielle

Paris News

Hi Everyone,

I don’t know why but this January has seemed busier than usual. I usually hibernate after the holidays, last year it snowed constantly in Paris and was freezing cold, and I stayed home, writing, and watched Downton Abbey. This year, I’ve been busy. I’ve done some writing too, but have been running around a lot.

It’s ‘that’ time of year again in Paris: the Haute Couture fashion shows that used to be The BIG Deal in French fashion, full of glamour, gorgeous clothes, and chic women watching the shows. Now it’s very much a mixed bag. The Ready to Wear Shows (of which there are many) are the big draw now, and the ones that all the celebs and movie stars from around the world go to. The Haute Couture shows are very few now, and it’s a short week, and the famously elegant women of the past seem to have disappeared. In their place are people dressed extremely, very short skirts, see through clothes, some men in skirts, many without socks, wild hair colors and hair dos (men in blue and green hair, women in pink hair). It’s hard to know where to look, there’s a lot to see at those shows. I only go to two of those shows now, Dior and Chanel (you can see the fashion shows themselves on Style.com). The clothes at Dior were young and summery, since the clothes we were seeing are for next summer/the spring collection. In Haute Couture, they are all made to order, and don’t just appear in a store. They were short, airy, and some were very pretty, though nothing I personally could wear. And at Chanel, they were beautiful and very young, with pretty young girls wearing everything with sneakers (even the bridal gown).

The Dior show was held in a special structure in the garden of the Rodin Museum, near The Invalides, the inside was very futuristic, with various levels, it was like being inside a space station of some kind, and the models passed a few inches in front of us. The Chanel Show was held at the Grand Palais, a beautiful antique glass structure. The setting inside was dazzling white, very modern, the models came down a staircase that had been built for the occasion, while we watched from couches, and an orchestra played. It was a feast for the senses, with LOTS of fashionable women in the audience. It’s always exciting to see those shows, and I loved them, as always.

Other than that, I’ve been getting ready for the ceremony where I will receive the decoration from the French Government, the Legion d’Honneur, which is a beautiful medal on a red ribbon. I’m very excited about it!! So I’ve been planning that. (And have to write a speech!!)

Paris has been buzzing with Presidential gossip. The President lived for 25 years, unmarried, with the mother of his 4 children, they parted a few years ago (she ran for the presidency herself, and lost to President Sarkozy). And after he won the last election, the new (and current) President appeared with a new partner, a journalist, whom he declared as, and was treated as, First Lady of France. She joined him at the French White House, where she even had a staff, and went to official functions with the President. And all of this despite the fact that he wasn’t married to her either. And all of that blew up when paparazzi outed him a few weeks ago as having a hot romance with a younger French actress. The unofficial First Lady got extremely upset, and checked into the hospital to ‘recover’ from the shock. You can imagine all the excitement and gossip that caused!! There was a Presidential press conference, everyone wants to know what (or who) comes next, and no one knows. At last report, the unofficial ‘First Lady’ (or ex?) is still in the hospital, and no one knows who will be his companion now. It’s the kind of gossip that happens in cities and towns, among slightly more ordinary people, but it really gets up some steam and a lot of public interest when it’s the president of a country. Stay tuned….if you care…..to see who the next Presidential companion will be. France can’t wait to find out!!! The French are more tolerant than Americans about political romances, but this one involving the presidency has caught everyone’s attention, even in France.

So that’s all the news from Paris. Fashion, and Presidential gossip. It certainly gets the year off to an interesting start. I hope yours is off to a great start!!

Love, Danielle

My Chihuahua Minnie & her new baby sister, Baby Blue

Puppy Love

Hi everyone,

I hope your year is off to a good start. It’s been freezing in the East and Mid-West, and sounds like a tough way to start the year!! I hope it warms up soon!!!

I was so touched by most of the responses to my book about our family dogs over the years, “Pure Joy”, that I wanted to share some of the responses with you, and reach out to some of the people who wrote to me. There is something about dogs that always touches our hearts!! Hence, the book!!!

Congratulations to Michele Rush (proud Mom of Gypsy and Sophie, two adorable Yorkies) who just got Sally Sue, a one pound Yorkie—who was inspired to get a third one after she read the book. Michele says that Gypsy and Sophie are ‘adjusting to the new baby’. I know what that’s like, as you know I got a new little Chihuahua 3 months ago, and it was a lot easier bringing home one of my many babies, than a baby Chihuahua. Minnie, my 2 year old 2 lb Chihuahua, was NOT happy about the new arrival, and they snarled, growled, and chased each other for the first two months, and have finally settled down. Although Minnie is NOT amused when ‘Baby Blue Angel’ climbs into her favorite bed, or runs off with one of her toys. (I’m sure Minnie thinks of her as Baby Blue Monster—the puppy is full of spunk and chases Minnie all the time, wanting to play. Minnie is much more ladylike than Blue!!!) They all do adjust eventually, but it was a little crazy for the first two months. But Bravo for you, Michele, I’m sure that Sally Sue will be ‘pure joy’, for you, and good for you for reaching out and making room in your heart and home for another one!!!

And Cathy Hiderbrandt told me about her adorable miniature red piebald dachshund Genie, who is the center of her life and her husband’s. I know what that is like. (Minnie owns me….and for now Baby Blue just runs me around….my bedroom looks like a battleground of toys. It’s like having a 2 year old child again!!)  Thank you, Cathy, for all your kind words, and Minnie sends you a kiss too.

And thank you to Jossie (Gramsbear) for writing to me about Wicket, a peekapoo. She says he is in Heaven now, but Jossie is a puppy lover, so I hope you find a new puppy to love soon!!

Sue Clarke lost her beloved Shaina, a 5 lb Chih a poo last January, but she is starting to think about getting another one. I hope you do soon!!! It’s amazing how they win our hearts no matter how much we loved the ones we lost. I hope you find a new puppy soon!!!

Valerie Boynton has Fergie and Gidget (one is a purebred Yorkie, the other a Yorkie/Cairn Terrier mix). We have a Gidget too, my daughter Vanessa’s little Yorkie is called Gidget (that’s her photo as a puppy at the beginning of the first chapter of the book). Your two girls sound adorable, and I’m so happy you love the book.

I got one email from the dog herself. Her name is Katie Begonia, and she is a Shih Tzu/Bichon. She is brown and looks like an Ewok (so do my miniature Brussels Griffons!!), and she says she is a diva!! (impressive self knowledge!!), and she has reverse sneezing episodes too!! Her mom is Lori Dawson, and she says that she loves going to the vet, and Katie Begonia says she considers going to the vet a social affair. (Minnie hid under the couch when I told her that. Minnie is terrified at the vet and shakes like a leaf in my arms!!)

And thank you also to Beth Nigro who wrote to say she loved the book, but didn’t mention her dogs.

I got so many wonderful letters from so many people, that I wanted to address at least some of them here. Thank you all for your wonderful responses to the book!!

In all fairness, I also got two very angry letters from readers, both of whom were very unhappy and disapproving that I have gotten dogs at the one pet store I know and trust, and where my family and I have gotten dogs since I was a child. I don’t trust most pet stores, but I know this one well, and have had wonderful dogs from them. And obviously, as a dog lover, I don’t approve of puppy mills. Both ladies who were unhappy with me felt I should get my dogs from rescue organizations. I think they are wonderful to do the work they do, and some homes can really welcome a rescue dog successfully and give them a happy life. And I’ve had one rescue dog myself, the Basset Hound I mentioned in the book. But many rescue dogs are adults, and have been mistreated by previous owners, and have ‘issues’ and special needs, and with a family of nine children, and a busy household, a dog who may have ‘issues’ never seemed right for us. But there is no question, there are many, many ways to acquire a dog: rescue organizations, the ASPCA, pet hospitals, adoption organizations, breeders, and a pet store, if you know they’re reliable, or even from a friend (some people even find an abandoned dog in the street, and take the lucky dog home to love them and give them a new home). I believe you will find the right way for you, and all are valid options to find a dog that you love!!! (One of the two people who wrote harsh letters to me was outraged that I had given dogs to 4 friends in my lifetime, and to my children. But all 4 friends cherish those dogs, and they were a huge success, and my children were wonderful dog owners as children, and still are as adults. We LOVE our dogs!!)

So thank you for writing to me. And I wish you and the dogs you love a new year full of Pure Joy—-and maybe a new puppy!!!

love, danielle