Dave Zuchelli's Blog

The Man in the Attic

I recently ran across a fascinating news story. Apparently, a fourteen-year-old Tennessee girl fell in love with an eighteen-year-old man. That, in and of itself, is not the fascinating part. It gets better.

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When the girl’s parents discovered the
attraction, they forbade their daughter to see the young guy after the happy
couple attempted to run away together. True love was not to be thwarted,
however. Unbeknown to the teenage girl’s parents, the young man took up
residence in their attic. There was a door to the attic in the young girl’s
bedroom closet, and he would sneak down every evening to (ahem) visit her.

Arrested and Hauled Away

I’m not sure how long this arrangement
lasted, but in my mind, it was doomed to be relatively short-lived. One
evening, the girl’s mother came home to find the young man standing at the top
of her stairs. Instead of running out the front door, back door, or through a
window, he retreated to the attic and refused to come out. Eventually, he was
arrested for trespassing and hauled away by the local gendarmes.

Not surprisingly, it has been reported that the man “has mental health issues.” If he didn’t have them prior to living in an attic, he certainly contracted them during his stay. Depending upon what sort of attic it was, it couldn’t have been all that conducive to a healthy lifestyle. Since the door to the attic was in a closet, I doubt it was a finished room with all the amenities.

It appears (at least for now) that the young couple’s hearts are destined to be broken. Broken-heartedness is a common human condition has been around for a long time. You may remember the story of Romeo and Juliet. That, of course, was a tragedy; but at least it was fiction. People with broken hearts have recourse, but many of them aren’t thinking straight enough to realize it.

Understanding the Broken Hearted

The book of Psalms has been around since the time of King David of Israel–circa 1000 BC (or BCE for you modernists). The psalmist realized that the Lord understands the broken-hearted. Furthermore, that same Lord binds up their wounds. Sounds like a plan…

The problem, of course, is that we have no way to bind up a broken heart. To have a broken heart is an emotional thing. There is no heart surgeon alive who can take care of that syndrome. Psychologists and psychiatrists, try as they may, can’t do it either. It’s a malady that goes beyond human understanding. We can diagnose it, but that’s as far as it goes.

If the psalmist is correct (and I assume he
is), the best physician for the condition of the broken heart is the Lord Himself.
We can try to help alleviate the situation, but seeking God in prayer seems to
give us the most direct access to the cure. I guess it stands to reason. God
created the human heart—He’s the best one to take care of it.  

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and
currently resides in Aldie, VA.]

I’m Sure of This

“Of this at least I am certain, that no one has ever died who was not destined to die some time.”—Augustine, Chapter 11, City of God.

Occasionally, one has to state the obvious to make a point. Augustine is revered as a saint, a thinker, and a theologian. Yet, even he could not be sure about everything. Still, there are many who come across as all-knowing. I’m sorry—they’re not.

[image error]Augustine of Hippo

Years
ago while sitting in a church history class, I listened as the professor touched
upon the thought and contributions of some of our twentieth-century, Christian
theologians. As he did so, he mentioned one of my philosophical heroes during a
startling statement—startling to me, at least. He said, “I wish I was as sure
of anything as Francis Schaeffer is of everything.” Schaeffer was, indeed,
pretty sure of himself; but at least he never sounded arrogant about it. I wish
I could say the same for others.

“It’s Just Not Biblical”

I
remember once speaking with a colleague of mine about a current theologian. He
made a comment I never forgot. He said, “His theology is really tight, but it’s
just not Biblical.” I suppose the opposite can be said of others. Their
theology is really Biblical, but it’s not very tight. In other words, it’s not
very well thought out.

Then, of course, there are those whose views are quite Biblical and extremely well thought through. They have spent years getting to the point at which they’ve arrived. Their journey has taken them to a place where they’re comfortable (both intellectually and spiritually). Yet they find themselves at odds with others who have done the exact same thing and landed at a very different position (both intellectually and theologically). It’s a conundrum we Christians have to deal with on a daily basis if we’re serious about our convictions.

The question always comes down to a simple question. Who’s right? Which of us has mastered Scripture, reason, and Biblical interpretation to the point that we can ascend the throne of correctness? After all, someone has to be right, don’t they? If they’re spot-on, everyone else is spot-off. Well, not so fast.

All Our Gyrations

I’m
guessing, despite all our gyrations and well-meaning postulations, none of us
is entirely accurate in the final analysis. There’s a verse in Romans (3:4)
that states, “Let God be true, and every human being a liar.” I’m taking it a
bit out of context here, but it strongly implies that God is the One with the
truth. In our human frailty, we do our best to discover and live that truth.
But our best efforts inevitably fall short. We’re left with imperfect
understandings and biases as guidelines to serve a perfect God.

Fortunately for us, I’m pretty sure He understands our plight. We’re all sinners trying to be led by a sinless Spirit. Maybe we need to come before Him humbly with a prayer similar to the Publican’s, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” (Luke 18:13)

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of
Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and currently resides in Aldie, VA.]

The Raccoon Effect

It’s not totally unusual for presidents of these United States to start trends and fads. For instance, when I was a kid, John Kennedy inspired fifty-mile hikes. I never jumped onto that bandwagon, but I remember it well. Theodore Roosevelt inspired the Teddy Bear. Washington and Lincoln seem to have pushed us toward honesty.

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Recently I’ve noticed a new trend as I’ve
been watching the news on television. It’s no secret that President Trump is
sometimes derisively called the “orange president.” That term is a thinly
veiled reference to his fake tan (not to be confused with fake news). I don’t
know how fake his tan happens to be, but he definitely exudes a certain orange-ness
from time to time.

Basking in the Sun

Along with the tan is what I call the raccoon effect. We’ve all gotten this upon occasion. It occurs when you wear sunglasses (or something else to block old Sol from your eyes) while working, tanning, or otherwise basking in the sun. I often get it when I’m riding my Harley.

President Trump definitely sports the raccoon effect more often than not. He looks that way so often, I don’t notice it anymore. But recently, I’ve become aware that the raccoon look seems to be catching on. While watching a recent show, I saw it sported by Andrew Card (former DOJ attorney). That might not have had much of an impression on me if left to itself. But in an ensuing commercial, Pat Boone showed up to hawk some pain medication. He, too, was displaying the raccoon effect. One other guy—a political figure—looking like the Prez wasn’t out of the ordinary. But two in the same half hour from varying backgrounds? That might be a movement.c

Frankly, I hope this isn’t catching on. It’s just not a good look. Of course, I’m no one to talk about good looks. My lovely Bride often makes me aware of that. Still, there are better things to emulate than the raccoon effect.

An Interesting Trend

There was an interesting trend that was
mentioned in the Old Testament. It seems that a bunch of pagans made a habit of
cutting themselves until the blood gushed. For some reason, this seemed right
to them. They felt that their god would respond better if they made a fuss,
shouted, and spilled a little of their own blood.

One might think that this was a passing fad, but it was so prevalent that the Lord had to make a provision against such behavior. He said, “You are the sons of the Lord your God. You shall not cut yourselves or make any baldness on your foreheads for the dead.” (Deuteronomy 14:1) Some trends are harmless, I suppose.

Hula hoops, pet rocks, and fuzzy dice seem to have left no lasting effects. Cutting oneself might be a bit beyond the pale (in fact, it might leave you pale). Like mullets and tie-died bellbottoms, I kind of hope that the raccoon effect will fade away (pun intended). Sorry. I couldn’t help myself.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and currently resides in Aldie, VA.]

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Human Ipecac

I was watching a news-commentary show recently when I heard a remark that made me do a doubletake. The commentator referred to someone as “human ipecac.” I’m not sure if you’re aware of ipecac, but many parents have had to use it.

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I first ran across it when one of my sons ate
a whole bottle of Flintstone Vitamins. Apparently, they’re quite tasty, and he
decided to make an entire dessert out of them. When we realized what he had
done, we called the Poison Control Center. They said he’d probably be okay, but
just to be safe, we were to go out and buy some ipecac.

We Stripped Him Down

As per instruction, we stripped him down, put him in the bathtub, gave him the ipecac, and kept him moving. Wriggling around in a small bathtub is not the easiest thing to do, but little kids can manage it. Sure enough, in a few minutes, our bathtub was filled with chunks of Flintstone Vitamins. It was a little disconcerting to see the colorful remains of Fred, Wilma, and the rest of the gang. Nevertheless, our son was detoxified.

So that was my one and only experience with ipecac. I had never heard of it prior to that incident and never had occasion to use it again. Thank goodness. Still, I never forgot the name of the stuff. Who could forget “ipecac?”

When I heard the commentator refer to someone
as human ipecac, it brought back images of Barney and Dino parts floating in
our tub. It was clear she was strongly implying that the subject of her
derisive statement made her sick. I was turning green just thinking about it.

Do I Make You Sick?

I don’t know if
there’s another human being hanging around that literally makes you sick. I
have to say I can’t even think of one in my life. There have been a few over
the years that came close, but none of them actually pushed me over the
proverbial edge. Maybe I’m just lucky.

In the Revelation of Jesus Christ to John the Apostle, there’s a church that made Jesus sick. He said that they were neither hot nor cold, so he was inclined to spew them out of his mouth. That’s not a pretty picture—even for the Bible. Yet, there it is. Jesus wants us to be on fire for him (figuratively speaking, of course). Lukewarm doesn’t cut it.

The particular church that was serving as human ipecac for Jesus was Laodicea. They were patting themselves on the back because they had earned great wealth. Apparently, Jesus wasn’t impressed. He, in fact, referred to them as “wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked.” Since they had a lot, I assume he was speaking in spiritual terms. He went on to tell them they could have spiritual riches if they would turn to him and, presumably, catch fire.

When I think of my
relationship with Jesus, there are a lot of things I’d aspire to be. Human
ipecac isn’t one of them.

[Dave
Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and currently resides
in Aldie, VA.]

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A Human Reaction

When is an angel not an angel? When he’s a human. Cyclist Miguel Angel Lopez was competing in the Giro d’Italia when a fan collided with him during the race. Lopez was knocked off his bike, and by the time he got back on, he finished two minutes behind the leader.

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The spectator, who was running along the road,
had bumped into another fan and bounced off into the path of Lopez. If Lopez had
simply grabbed his bike and immediately continued the race, he may have fared
better. As it was, he took the time to confront the observer (who was now
somewhat dazed at the curb and leaning against a guardrail). Lopez slapped the
man across the head. Then he took another swing and knocked the man’s hat off.

Some Weren’t so Kind

Lopez later apologized, but others weren’t so
kind. Lopez’s team director, Giuseppe Martinelli, said, “I’m only sorry that he
didn’t give the spectator some more punishment.” He added that, “He deserved it
for what he did.”

I don’t know much about bicycle racing, but I’ve always wondered why they allow onlookers so close to those bikers. It seems to be a recipe for disaster. This, of course, is not the first time such a collision has occurred. I’ve seen footage of similar (and worse) things happen where more than one bike went down.

I’m guessing the fan was in the wrong, but
the whole incident brings up a point that has always intrigued me. People get
away with things in sports that the normal guy on the street could never do.
Try walking up to a guy on the street in front of a watching audience, slap him
across the head, and knock off his cap. There just might be some sort of
recrimination for that move.

No Punishment

The governing body for the race said there
would be no punishment for Lopez because they deemed his rage to be a mere
“human reaction.” Well, yeah… There are human reactions of all sorts for
myriads of reasons. Lots of them are punishable under the law. Most judges
don’t let criminals off because theirs was simply a human reaction.

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m not calling Lopez a criminal. I’m sure he is a nice guy who simply got caught up in the moment. As he put it, “I was full of pure adrenaline.” I would imagine he was. I’d be a tad torqued off if someone knocked me off my bike as well—even if it wasn’t during a competition. However, I hope I would be somewhat restrained—particularly if I thought it was unintentional.

There’s a famous passage of Scripture which
says, “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.’” (Romans 12:19) The
problem, of course, is that we don’t often stop to think about that in the heat
of the moment or in the rush of our adrenalin. Even worse, we probably don’t
trust God to enact the revenge we’d think is appropriate.

[Dave
Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and currently resides
in Aldie, VA.]

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10,000 Steps

For a few years now, many of the wearers of Fitbits, Apple Watches, and other fitness tracking devices have set an arbitrary goal of 10,000 steps per day. It’s a nice round number and one which takes a real effort to achieve. The object of all this, of course, is to have a strong heart and a healthier lifestyle. But why 10,000?

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“The idea of walking at least 10,000 steps a
day for health goes back decades to a marketing campaign launched in Japan to
promote a pedometer.” Hmmm… Turns out that the magic number of 10,000 was
merely an advertising ploy. It was basically plucked out of the air. No science
went into the decision. It just sounded good.

Health Facts

Subsequent studies have revealed some
interesting health facts. For one, the number of steps needed to promote good
health and longer life is actually around 4400. In addition, “The benefits of
walking maxed out at about 7,500 steps.” Anything above that probably only
builds up your leg muscles, I suppose.

The upside to this discovery is that lengthy gym workouts aren’t necessary for most of us. A good, light workout is all that is required. Hours spent in the gym can make you look fantastic, but they won’t make you any healthier. Imagine that.

I don’t say all this to discourage you from
your workouts or your daily goal of 10,000 steps. My guess is that you’ll be
all the better for it—somehow. But that’s where time management seems to enter
the picture. The question becomes, “Is that how you want to spend your time.”
Is there no higher calling to which you aspire?

Setting Lofty Goals

I’m certainly no time management expert. In
fact, I seem to waste a lot of my appointed time here on this earth. But it
seems to me that each one of us is urged in Scripture to set loftier goals than
having fantastic looking bodies and longer lives (not that I’m against any of
that, mind you). I’m guessing we’re looking in the wrong places if our highest priorities
are limited to how many steps we attain.

Having said all that, I actually encourage you to continue in your quest for healthy hearts, strong bodies, and longer lives. That’s actually a good thing. I share your concern for those goals. Your body is a temple, and as a good steward of life, you should take care of it. But I would also urge you to think about the higher things—things beyond the earthly corpus in which you dwell. You not only have a physical body, you have a soul and a spirit as well. These, too, need to be kept healthy.

There’s an interesting verse in Ecclesiastes
that says, “The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does
food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but
time and chance happen to them all.” Maybe we should plan our time wisely.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and
currently resides in Aldie, VA.]

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Aborting Mickey Mouse

Disney recently announced intentions to withdraw their filming operations from the state of Georgia. They had shot some scenes for two upcoming movies there and have now decided they will probably not do so again.

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The
problem is the fact that the Georgia legislature passed what is referred to as
the “heartbeat” bill. The law states that no abortion can be performed once the
unborn babies’ heartbeats can be detected. In effect, this limits abortions to
children who have been in the womb about six weeks or less.

Employees to Blame?

Disney
is blaming its employees for the retreat from the Peach State. They say that
their cast and crew “will not want to work there, and we will have to heed
their wishes in that regard.” Wow. I wish my employers had listened to me like
that when I had complaints. Their attitude was more along the lines of “We’re
paying you. Do what we tell you to do.”

I’m pretty sure Disney could easily find replacements for any folks who decided to walk off the job. It might cause a delay or two, but most people—even actors—like to receive a steady paycheck. I’m not convinced that the CEO is being totally honest here. Disney holds a lot more sway than that.

I would
think that Disney (if they were going to choose up sides at all) would speak on
behalf of the children. After all, isn’t the bulk of their clientele under the
age of puberty? It would seem to me that Disney would want more children, not
fewer of them. Not so, apparently.

So for
now, at least, Disney has aborted Mickey Mouse from Georgia. Still, they
haven’t taken steps to refrain from filming movies in countries that have very
strict laws prohibiting abortion. They also shoot scenes in places that do
things like punish (even kill) homosexuals. In addition, they do a lot of
business in countries like China, for example.

Disney East

There’s
a Disneyland Park in Shanghai and a lot of Disney products are made in China. You
don’t have to do a lot of research to discover that China is a huge violator of
human rights. I would guess that oppressed workers are slaving away on Disney
merchandise right now. I wonder if the Disney employees in China have the ear
of the company the way the American ones do. I’m guessing, “No.”

Disney pulling out of Georgia has been described in many terms. One of them is the relatively new (but extremely popular) “virtue signaling.” That’s a term the press usually reserves for people of faith. It certainly can be applied to large corporations as well. I believe the Disney-Georgia move qualifies.

Another term is much older and well worn. You may have heard it before. It’s summed up in the word Jesus often used to describe the Pharisees. Hypocritical. Neither Disney nor its employees seem to be all that concerned about either of them. A little bit of honesty might be in order here.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of
Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and currently resides in Aldie, VA.]

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Snakes: The Sequel

Some friends were visiting a couple of weeks ago, and everyone decided it was a wonderful night for a fire. I happened to have plenty of firewood but very little to no kindling. The women decided to make the short trek to a nearby patch of trees to gather up the required fuel. They returned with a goodly amount, a roaring blaze ensued, and—as people like to say—a good time was had by all.

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The good time became a bit marred a couple of
days later when one of the women ended up in the local emergency room—twice. As
it turns out, she was bitten by a copperhead. For those of you who are in the
dark about copperheads, they are small, venomous snakes that inhabit most of
the southern (as well as other) regions of our country.

Fangs of the Reptile

Interestingly enough, on her woodsy
excursion, our friend only felt a slight prick. Since she was gathering wood,
she assumed it was a splinter. A splinter indeed… The fangs of the reptile
found its way into the end of her finger and that was that. Speculation has it
that it was a young snake, but poisonous, nonetheless.

Ever since then, there has been a snake uprising in our neighborhood. Facebook is awash with pix of the scaly critters, and all the young mothers are in an uproar. I guess I can’t blame them. The subdivision in which we live has about one hundred children—many of them quite small. Having an infestation of snakes can make one a tad uncomfortable. This is particularly true of the women.

That probably sounds a bit sexist (I know
plenty of guys who are squeamish about the slithery varmints as well). Still,
the onus seems to fall on the female side of the equation. There’s good reason
for that, of course. Just check out the first few pages of Scripture.

In Genesis chapter three, there’s a story I’m
pretty sure most of you have read. If you haven’t, I’m almost positive you’ve
heard it—or some version of it, at least.

Enter the Serpent

You may remember that Adam and Eve were the
only human inhabitants of the Garden of Eden. Enter the Serpent. The wily
creature tempted the unsuspecting couple, they sinned, and the rest is Biblical
history. They got kicked out of paradise, never to return.

What’s worse, everyone and everything got cursed by God. There’s one line in particular that puts our snake problem in perspective. As the Lord hands down the curse for the serpent, He states, “I will put enmity between you and the woman…” And there you have it.

So the women of our neighborhood are all up
in arms. The snake population seems to be on the rise, and the curse has reared
its ugly head once again. My lovely Bride insists on keeping the garage door
closed, and I have orders to clip the grass closer to the roots than is
normally recommended. What’s a mother to do?

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and
currently resides in Aldie, VA.]

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The Only Ones

There’s an old joke about a guy who dies and goes to Heaven. Have you heard it? I suppose you have, but I’ll write a quick synopsis for any who’ve missed it. Saint Peter meets him at the gate and offers a quick tour.

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The guy takes him up on it and begins to
follow him around. Peter points out the neighborhood in which the guy (let’s
call him Earl) will be residing. Then Earl gets to see the golf course he’ll be
playing and the ocean in which he’ll be swimming.

Be Very Quiet

Then they approach a block with a long, high
wall extending for quite a distance. Peter puts his finger to his lips and whispers
to Earl to be very quiet as they walk along the wall. They stealthily tiptoe to
the other end of the structure and when they reach the far corner, Peter takes
a deep breath and tells Earl it’s okay to resume their vocalizing.

Earl got curious and asked Peter why all furtiveness. Peter quickly answered that the (insert your own Christian denomination or sect) live behind the edifice. He added, “We’re always quiet around the wall because they think they’re the only ones here.”

That story has gotten more than a few laughs
over the years. Unfortunately, it’s a little less than humorous when you
consider that it hits way too close to the truth. There are more than a few folks
who have set themselves up as judge and jury when it comes to the road to
Heaven. Fortunately for the rest of us, they aren’t the final authority, and I
seriously doubt they will be the only ones in Heaven (regardless of who they
are).

We Have Differences

Lord knows, we Christians have our
differences. We have different theologies, different practices, and differing
views on Scripture. As a matter of fact, the only thing we really have in
common is a belief that Jesus is Lord and Savior, God Almighty come in the
flesh. Beyond that, it seems (at least sometimes) to be a free-for-all. Let’s
face it. There’s a lot of material for disputation.

Everyone needs to have the strength of their
convictions—otherwise, they wouldn’t be convictions at all. Nevertheless, there
has to be common ground—a place where we agree. That, I hope, would be a belief
that all believers end up in Heaven one day—even those who differ from us.

Healthy debate and Bible–based discussions are good and necessary. Everyone is on a journey as they go through this life. My journey has taken me along a path that has wound through different beliefs, practices, and traditions. Eventually, it brought me to where I stand today.

I think I’m right. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t
stand strong. Still, I try to remember that I’m a mere human being—one who
doesn’t understand every little thing. And I always allow for the possibility
that I’m wrong on something. There’s always room for growth. Even for an old geezer
like me.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and
currently resides in Aldie, VA.]

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Porch Pirates

Shortly after we moved into our newly built home, we installed one of those doorbells that contain a hidden camera. One of the early videos captured by this technological marvel was that of a middle-aged man in a ballcap who mounted our porch steps, bent over in front of our door, stood up, then turned and walked away. We later learned that the guy was checking under doormats for keys. If he found one, he entered the home and pilfered some of the owners’ goods.

As I recall, this was happening in broad
daylight. To say the least, this guy was pretty brazen. I don’t think I would even
have the chutzpah to walk up to someone’s door and check under the mat let
alone use their hidden key to enter their abode. I suppose more homes are empty
in the daytime than at night.

Pilfering the Packages

This is possibly a step up from being a “porch
pirate.” While I’ve known about this particular practice for quite a while, I
just recently heard the term applied to these bandits on an episode of “Bluebloods.”
Porch pirates are those folks who trail behind the Amazon and UPS trucks and
swipe newly delivered packages from under people’s noses. This, too, has occurred
in our new neighborhood.

High tech has been used to combat this sort of thing as well. Besides the hidden camera doorbell, Alexa (you probably know who she is) is now being used by Amazon to notify folks that a package will be delivered that day. Once the package is delivered, Alexa then announces that the package has arrived. Not a bad system.

There is an even better system than this,
however. It’s one that used to be widely used in this country but has fallen by
the wayside. It falls under the general term of “neighboring.” In the old days,
people used to know their neighbors, their neighbors’ kids, and their neighbors’
comings and goings. There was a tad less privacy, but no one could get away with
pilfering a freshly dropped bundle from your front porch.

The Art of Neighboring

Sadly, the art of neighboring has faded from
view. For many, it has become a shrinking dot in life’s rear-view mirror. For
the most part, it seems that people don’t know their neighbors. Where there was
once security in communities, there is now suspicion and mistrust. The neighbor
has become a dark character to be avoided or shunned. For some of you, this may
sound a bit overstated, but it’s not far from the truth for many folks.

There was a time when even the neighbor you disliked would look out for you. Now, suspicious activity next door evokes the need to close one’s blinds and curtains and look the other way. This new distrust is, in fact, antithetical to the Word of God.

Even the Old Testament Jewish laws were clear. Loving your neighbor as yourself did not originate with the incarnation of Jesus. Yet it seems to have gone with the wind.

[Dave Zuchelli is a graduate of Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and
currently resides in Aldie, VA.]

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