Ikram Hawramani's Blog, page 15

Hanging out with a person of the opposite sex without doing anything haram

Salamu alaikum. Brother, is it okay if one asked the opposite sex to go hangout? Note that this person clearly likes you and that they stated they wanted to get to know each other first before going steady (to marriage). Is it sinful to go together with the opposite sex with such intention? I myself do not consider this a date, but a regular hangout.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

It is not good to spend time in private with a person of the opposite sex. Even if you feel it will be perfectly casual, you never know what will happen. And even if you go to a public place together, afterwards one of you may suggest going to a more private place and it may sound fine in the state that you are.

See my articles:

Secret romantic relationships in Islam

Dating and Relationships in Islam: What is Allowed and What is Not

How to not be attached to the world and yet socialize?

assalamu aleykom wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu. this is a somewhat odd question but, i've read quotes here that say that it is better to be a Muslim that exists in society and mixes themself up with everybody than to be a recluse, however i also read quotes saying that it is better to turn away from the world and it'll follow you. which is better? is there a middle ground? what to do?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh,

The advice is to not be attached to the world, seeking worldly things like wealth, fame and praise. But once you lose that attachment, it is recommended to remain in contact with others so that they may benefit from your companionship and help. Be like the Prophet PBUH, having a good social life without being attached to worldly things.

English books for learning about hadith

Assalamualaykum. Do you have any book recommendation for learning hadiths? Thank you

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

If you mean English books, here are some good ones I have read:

Jonathan A. C. Brown, Misquoting Muhammad (2014)Tarif Khalidi, Arabic Historical Thought in the Classical Period (1994)Jonathan A. C. Brown, The Canonization of al-Bukhari and Muslim  (2007)Umar F. Abd-Allah Wymann-Landgraf, Mālik and Medina: Islamic Legal Reasoning in the Formative Period (2013)

The Quran says early generations will be near to God, how can we make it into that few?

Assalamualaikum, Allah swt says in the Quran on the day of Judgement those who will be near to the Lord will be Many from the Early Generations, and a few from the later generations. I feel disheartened seeing this because I feel how can I be as great as they were, how can I possibly make it into that few…..

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

The Quran is speaking of proportions, not absolute numbers. If 10% of the early humans made it to the highest ranks, that may be 1% today, but that is still millions of people in every generation.

Is a marriage valid without a wedding party in Islam?

Salaam. I wanted to kindly ask of you, my brother, if in Islam a couple who wishes to marry requires a wedding party for their wedding to be valid? In my culture in Indonesia, we are famous for arranging a lavish wedding party (some of them reported went in debt to do so), but I'm not one to be able to afford that. If me and my future spouse (in sya Allah) wants to get married, but we agree to not arrange a wedding party, would Islam still consider our marriage? Jazakallah.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

All that is needed for a marriage to be valid is the woman’s guardian saying “[woman’s name] is your wife” in the presence of two witnesses and the husband-to-be saying “I accept her as a wife”. That’s it. There is no Islamic requirement for a ceremony or party, but it is strongly recommended to make weddings public so that everyone around you knows you are married. This can be done over social media.

Does God perform miracles today?

Allah tells in the Quran how He showed a miracle to Zakariya عليه السلام by bestowing an offspring in a very unlikely age which was a very impossible thing. Are these just for prophets or can we also expect and hope such impossibles to happen with us with sincere dua. You d say with Allah everything is possible n always make dua but we usually dont see such impossibles happen around us.So are these miracles just for prophets.I ll be really thankful for your enlightening reply

I believe God performs miracles every day, the difference is that with prophets He allows them to see the miracle, while for us, He hides the miracle so that we can always doubt whether it was a miracle or just a natural event or coincidence. 

God wants us to always have the option to doubt His existence, so this means that He does not show us any provable miracles, He always leaves some room for doubt.

Are terrorist attacks sanctioned as jihad by Islam?

Are the types of terrorist attacks you see happening these days on non-Muslims sanctioned in Islam as jihad or are they a deviation?

Islam does not recognize the right of people to take up arms against their ruling state. Warfare is only sanctioned when it is launched by a sovereign government. Muslims are required to obey the law of the land or leave the country. For more see: An Introduction to the Origins of Modern Islamic Terrorism

On my hadith probability calculation method

AO, I'm not trying to sound critical but is it sound to follow a hadith probability calculator made by yourself with no scholarly consensus supporting it?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

That’s how Islamic scholarship works. Someone comes up with an idea and others either accept it or reject it. Sometimes a good idea is ignored for centuries. Ibn Taymiyyah’s fatwas on divorce were ignored for 5 centuries until they were implemented in the 20th century by some Islamic governments.

People are of course free to accept or reject my ideas. But as scholars we are required to do our own thinking, and if we consider something to be true despite it not being widely accepted, it is sinful for us to ignore it and go by the accepted opinion.

I consider my views on hadith to be the correct opinion, and it is my duty to publicize and defend these views. We are sorely in need of a way to rank authentic hadiths by their degree of reliability. Some hadiths in al-Bukhari are ten times more authentic than others, but no one knows this when they simply assume they have to take everything in it as if it is as authentic as the Quran. It is extremely harmful that this information is hidden from people, with everything hidden behind the “sahih” label. My method simply brings their authenticity level out in the open so that people can judge for themselves.

Dealing with not being liked

I’m beginning to think that people don’t like the person I am from the people I know. I can read body language and the signs that they give. So what does one do? The relationships I have aren’t great. Being anti social doesn’t help either in this scenario. So brother Ikram what do I do? Can you give me some guidance please. I need your help.

If you focus on yourself and improve yourself, then you can become the kind of person that people cannot help liking. If you are generous, forgiving, loyal, and do not expect anything from people, then they will like you. Read the Quran for an hour daily and make its teachings the rules of your life. Become a saint. People cannot help liking saints.

Dealing with trust issues in Islam

I’ve had trust issues my whole life. No matter who it is people always talk behind your back and will gossip. I can see that in my own immediate family. I can assure you that I don’t engage in this activity. So my point is how can you build relationships when people are like that? How do you just trust someone? How can you give your all to someone and let them potentially break you?

I believe you just have to accept people as they are, not expecting them to be better. All people have faults. When it comes to close friends or spouses, we just have to choose carefully. The possibility that they will betray us and break our hearts is always there. We just have to accept this possibility, like we accept the possibility of car accidents happening. Our hearts get broken, we heal, and they get broken again. That is just life.