Ikram Hawramani's Blog, page 14

Do Muslim women need a mahram to go on a journey?

Salaam. Do Muslim women need a mahram to go on a journey?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

There is a strong hadith that comes from multiple Companions that says a woman shouldn’t go on a journey that takes a day and night (24 hours) unless there is a mahram with her. It is allowed (by Ibn Jibrin) for a mahram to drop off a woman at an airport and let her travel alone to the destination where another mahram picks her up. The scholar al-Baji says the restriction only applies to young women, elders may travel alone (although other scholars disagree). I haven’t studied the hadiths on this matter in detail, so I don’t have a personal opinion on it.

Islam and academic plagiarism

Ao, I feel very confused and sinful, for my class I used a website to write an essay, but a previous student had done the same thing the year before and the teacher thought I had used the students essay. I admitted to using the website, but I turned the essay on it into a guide, although i barely changed anything (kept all the information like who wrote it and where it was from) I just put it into bullet points so it looked more like a guide, I feel really bad how sinful is it that I edited it?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

I’m not sure I understand exactly what you did, but if you are afraid you committed plagiarism: I would confess to the professor everything that I did and ask him/her if they can give me a chance to do the assignment again. Talk to him face-to-face, doing it in writing may require him to report it to the higher ups and get you into more trouble.

And if you want to be extra safe, before you do that, you can talk about it face-to-face with another professor unrelated to that class and see what he/she advises.

Recovering from fellow Muslims making you dislike Islam

Salam. I want to ask of you, my brother, how to recover from trauma of being around religious Muslims? I was a part of an Islamist group in the past and when I joined them I got to see the bad side of Muslims. I know that they are only humans, but I cannot get over how they behave like they own the truth but hurt people with their tongue. I am not generalizing all of them like that, but the scar is still there. I cannot accept that I am also a part of those kinds of Muslims. I need your advice.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Sorry about what you’ve been through. I think the solution is to learn more about Islam on your own so much that you start to feel like it’s your own personal religion, like you own your own brand of Islam. I was forced to do that myself after seeing many ridiculous ideas associated with Islam, I had to make my own understanding that made it perfectly clear how my religion was not what those extremists and narrow-minded people thought it was. I recommend that you read my essays where I describe Islam as I understand it. You could also try reading some of the books on my Islamic studies reading list.

Is it written for us which person we will marry?

Alslam alikum I have some confusions about the love stuff in alslam,we should believe that what ever is written for you will come at the right time,me as a Muslim girl I cannot approach the guy I like ,and also I don’t want Haram relationship so what should I do?be realistic or duaa , P.S I never talked to this guy but I know a lot about him I will be happy to hear your personal opnion Thank u

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

What is written for you can change, this is something that many Muslims don’t realize. You and God make your fate together, it’s like a team project. You choose, and based on that, God decides what happens next, and based on how you respond, He decides what happens next, and so on. For those who are pious, God arranges their circumstances in such a way that they have meaningful and joyful lives despite their hardships. But if these same people become impious and start sinning, they will run into all kinds of aimlessness and useless suffering, since God will stop arranging their circumstances favorably for them.

Regarding relationships, Islam doesn’t forbid women from approaching men. In the right circumstances you can ask a man to ask your family for your hand in marriage. Apart from that you can rely on your relatives, friends, and halaqa sisters to find you a match. Most social circles have women who love matchmaking. And if that doesn’t work, you can use sites like halfourdeen.com to find Muslim men. As long as your family is involved there is nothing bad or haram about using such sites.

Best wishes.

Alslam alikum I read what you answered the girl about love and Islam and destiny,I got confused too

She fears no man will find her attractive

Salam. Lately, I just find myself spending a lot of time seeking validation from guys. Maybe it's just this age or hormones, but I get really scared that if no one finds me admirable or attractive, then I might miss out on finding someone, and these thoughts consume my mind for longer than I'd like to admit. Do you think I might lack the ability to form deep, meaningful relationships because I'm shallow?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Life is like being inside a ship piloted by God. Your task is to react to what happens inside the ship in the best manner possible. It is not your task to manage where the ship goes next. If you are God-fearing, He will take you to the best places. Each time time you are kind, generous and noble, you improve the ship’s direction. You cannot directly pilot the ship, but God looks at how you behave and respond to decide where to take the ship. If you try to be a saint, you will have a meaningful and wholesome life. God will take care of the details. Try to have a deep connection with God (such as by reading the Quran for an hour daily), and then when the time is right, He will choose the right one for you and will force them into your life whether you want it or not.

I don’t mean that we shouldn’t do anything to better our lives. We should do everything in our power. But the wider story-arc is in God’s hands, and if we are good, He will ensure that we will get good results.

Some people mistakenly think that since God is in charge of the world, this means that there is nothing they can do about what happens to them. In reality it is like a team project, you and God together manage the direction of your life. You do it by passing tests and trying to be the best you can be in any situation, and He does it by deciding what happens to you next based on your performance.

I have had that happen to me many times. My life would seem to go nowhere for years, and suddenly everything would change without my having to do anything. Pass the boring test of being a good person everyday and He will take care of making your life interesting.

How to repent from intentionally missing Ramadan fasts

Alslam alikum The last Ramadan I was upset from big problems that happened to me so I started to get far from Allah ,I didn’t fast even one day Now I regret it I don’t know what to do

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Simply repent sincerely, that’s all that you need to do, and try to be better from now on. You can make up for it with voluntary fasts, although there’s a well-supported opinion that intentionally missed prayers and fasts don’t need to be made up. See: Do Muslims need to make up prayers intentionally missed for years?

She rejected a suitor because she likes another man

Alsalm alikum There is guy who came to my dad and asked to marry me ,but I don’t want him although he is a good guy ,I just didn’t feel the chemistry was there ,I know it’s maybe silly but I’m waiting for some guy who I like a lot,we never talked but we see each other often I make duaa that Allah to choose for me I started to feel confused ,help

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

That’s all natural. If this is in any way appropriate in your family/culture, maybe find a way to ask the man you like to ask your family for your hand in marriage, although of course how the man will take this depends on his character and culture. If he is an honorable man, he will give you an answer and if it is yes, then great, and if no, then you can move on to other men.

Is it permitted for Muslim women to wear hipster and other styles of clothing?

Are we Muslim women allow to dress up like with so many styles like a hipster style but still covers our aurah ?

You can wear what you want as long as it’s modest. Also see: Defining modesty in clothing in Islam

Question about the science of hadith

As-salâmu 'alaykum. Could you provide us with an introduction to the science of Hadīth? Jazâk-Allāhu khayran.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Iyyana wa iyyakum. The science of hadith is complex and unfortunately I cannot explain it in an answer or even essay. I recommend that you check out the books I mentioned in this previous answer.

Islam vs. Solipsism

Salamu alaikum. Brother, I just read about solipsism and what are your thoughts regarding it?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

If you mean the philosophical theory, it is based on the idea that there is only one channel of knowledge into the mind. Islam’s answer is that there are two channels. There is the soul which resides outside of our universe and recognizes God, and then there is the conscious mind which exists in this universe. The universe is a simulation like in the film The Matrix. The existence of a soul outside of the universe, which can receive knowledge independently of the mind, nullifies solipsism, since it can receive a kind of true knowledge about the state and reality of the universe independent of the mind. So while rationally it is perfectly plausible to imagine that I am the only real being in the universe, my soul knows this to be false, since it has its own knowledge that tells it that God is real and that other individuals are also real.

For more on my views on theology see my essay: Reconciling Free Will and Predestination in Islam with al-Māturīdī and Ibn Taymiyya