Ikram Hawramani's Blog, page 11

Can Muslims shop at the Salvation Army or other Christian stores?

salam brother, is it haram to shop at places like salvation army thrift store? the money goes towards drug rehab centers i believe but it's a christian organization (thst helps a lot of ppl) & i was wondering if it would b haram since it might b used for preaching christianity.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

There is no issue with it because it’s not your responsibility what a person does with the money once you buy something from them. The Prophet PBUH bought and borrowed things from the Jews of Medina. Buying things from Christian organizations is probably even better than buying from random people because they will likely be using the money for more principled things. And if it becomes a cause to guide people to God through Christianity, then that’s a good thing too. We should never consider converts to Christianity as competitors to Islam. We should think of them as people who went from a worse to a better state.

The same applies to people who convert to Shia Islam. We should be happy that they found God. The choice for them wasn’t between Shia and Sunni Islam, it was between being lost and being guided. Even when people convert to “Sufism lite” where they try to be spiritual without praying or abiding by Islamic law, this should be considered a blessing. They went from a worse state to a better state, and it’s God’s business if He wants to take them further.

Can we make dua for specific things?

I have one desire in my life that could lead to open many possibilities for me. Regardless of what god has in mind for me, This is what I THINK is best for me. Is it okay to ask god for this in my prayers, or should I go and say you know what’s best for me I trust you, even though I really want this in my life (moving to another country). Thank you

It’s quite alright to ask for specific things. The Prophets peace be upon them asked for specific things they desired, for example Zakariyya asked to be given a son, even though he was extremely old and his wife was infertile. God answered his prayer and gave him Yahya / John.

But you have to keep an open mind and be willing to love God even if He doesn’t answer your prayer. 

Can Muslims use utensils in which pork or alcohol were cooked or stored?

If a non muslim cooks pork or anything that has alcohol using our kitchen utensils such as pan, can we muslim still use it or do we have to throw it away?

It’s sufficient to wash it thoroughly, then you can use it like any other utensil.

Reference:

Fatwa from the Qatari Fatwa Authority (Arabic PDF)

Should Muslims always obey their parents’wishes?

Assalamualaikum. I had a general question regarding what is required of us in terms of our duty to our parents. I am in a situation where I am in a certain career path basically only because my parents want me to be. I'm doing well enough in it, but I'm always stressed and tired from the work and lately I've really been feeling that this isn't the career I want for the rest of my life. If I quit though, I would definitely be upsetting my parents and going against their wishes. (1/2)

I know we should be as obedient, and kind, and dutiful to our parents as possible but in this situation, would it be a sin for me to disobey my parents by switching career paths? I’ve been feeling really lost lately. They’ve sacrificed a lot for me and I don’t want to let them down but I also don’t know if I am capable of continuing in this career. (2/2)

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Islam asks us to “humor” our parents the way our parents humored us when we were children, so that even if sometimes they are unreasonable or make unnecessary demands we should try to go along with it rather than asking them to be reasonable.

But we are not required to become slaves to their demands. You are a person just like they are, and the relationship should include compromises from both sides. So you have every right to switch career paths and good parents should empathize with your wishes and put your happiness first.

If you abide by their wishes, then it will be an act of charity toward them and God can always reward you amply for that. And if you do what you want, I’m sure God will not blame you. So Islamically the choice is entirely yours. You are not required to spoil your parents by always doing what they want, just as parents are not required to spoil their children.

Modern examples of Muslims being munafiqs (hypocrites)

Assalamualaikum, "In the Quran Allah talks about hypocrites and munafiqs. Many muslim's unknowingly practice both of these transgressions. The term munafiq describes a person who is "two-faced" inasmuch as he always tries to find arn easy way out of any real commitment, be it spiritual or social, by adapting his course of action to what promises to be of practical advantage to him in the situation in which he happens to find himself." what are some examples of how everyday Muslims are munafiqs?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Any statement or deed designed to make others think of you as more pious and devout than you really are can be considered nifaq/hypocrisy. So a person who says they go to the mosque for every prayer when they do not is a munafiq. Or someone who goes to the mosque in order to be seen rather than going because they want to. Or when someone gives charity in order to gain fame rather than to please God. Whenever we pretend to be pious and devout to manipulate others, that’s nifaq. Whenever we show a level of piety in public that we lack in private, that’s nifaq.

On distrusting people after bad experiences and heartbreak

Hello. Is it natural that we tend to have a distrust in people when we got our hearts broken over and over again because of their words or actions? I have bad experience by interacting closely and intimately with people in the past and until now, that I feel like I'd become a misanthrope at this rate. Do I have to avoid being close to people to not break my heart and be disappointed again, or do you have any insight for me to understand life and people even more?

Hello,

Sorry about your bad experiences. We have two ways of responding to life’s hardships, including heartbreak. We either accept our fate and accept that this is the way the world works, or we reject our fate and grow bitter. The right way is of course to always work to maintain the sweetness of your soul, to always be loving, kind and open regardless of how others behave. This is how saints distinguish themselves–they always treat others with love and goodness regardless of whether those persons deserve it or not. Try to treat every person with a blank slate, as if you were created today and this is the first person you have ever met.

Reading the Quran daily is a great help toward maintaining the sweetness and innocence of your soul. Personally it’s hard for me to imagine how anyone could hold onto grudges, bitterness or hatred, it feels like such a terrible burden to carry.

Also see my essay: The Road to Maturity: On Dealing with Life’s Unsolvable Problems

Best wishes.

Is it sinful to curse or swear when startled or angry?

Hello, i want to ask, is it a sin if i swear/curse when i'm angry or startled? Thank you in advance

Hello,

The Quran says:

God does not like the public uttering of bad language, unless someone was wronged. God is Hearing and Knowing. (The Quran, verse 4:148)

So speaking curses aloud is not recommended, so if you have to curse, it’s best to do it only in your head.

A Christian who enjoys reading the Quran

I am a catholic but I find it very comforting to read the Quran. I do it privately because in the west it can be a little problematic you know but my question is I am catholic is it bad to find god thru another religion

I am a Muslim and I listened to Alexander Scourby’s reading of the King James Version. It made me shiver and brought tears to my eyes in many places. To me the Bible and the Quran come from the same place, the Quran is just like a cleaner version of the same “drug”. So I see nothing wrong with you enjoying the Quran, it is very admirable that you are able to leap over theological differences and appreciate God’s words for what they are. I wish all Christians could do that.

The Quran says this about some Christians who read the Quran:

83. And when they hear what was revealed to the Messenger, you see their eyes overflowing with tears, as they recognize the truth in it. They say, “Our Lord, we have believed, so count us among the witnesses.”

84. “And why should we not believe in God, and in the truth that has come to us, and hope that our Lord will include us among the righteous people?”

85. God will reward them for what they say—Gardens beneath which rivers flow, where they will stay forever. Such is the reward of the righteous. (The Quran, verses 5:83-85)

Note that this doesn’t imply that they have to convert to Islam to appreciate the truth of the Quran. The Quran never says that Christians have to convert to Islam to be considered good and righteous people by God (despite what many scholars say). The Quran says to Muslims who like to think that only they will attain salvation:

123. It is not in accordance with your wishes, nor in accordance with the wishes of the People of the Scripture. Whoever works evil will pay for it, and will not find for himself, besides God, any protector or savior.

124. But whoever works righteousness, whether male or female, and is a believer—those will enter Paradise, and will not be wronged a whit. (The Quran, verses 4:123-124).

The part where it says to Muslims “[i]t is not in accordance with your wishes” couldn’t be any clearer, but unfortunately some people ignore it. There are of course many scholars, especially those of al-Azhar University, who agree with my way of thinking.

Follow-up question

Hello again! I’m the catholic girl again! I’m on mobile so i don’t know if you have a faq section but can you please suggest some scholars reading or name some authors because I really want to get more invested into religion and particularly in the Quran. Thank you for being so understanding and always being so kind and thorough with your thoughts

Hello,

You are very welcome. You may be interested in Being Muslim and The New Muslim’s Field Guide, which explain the basics of Islam. My own book An Intelligent Person’s Guide to Understanding Islam and Muslims explains in detail how Muslims really think and what Islam is about (free online versions here).

Many people have found my book The Sayings of Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah very helpful in gaining a deeper understanding of the spiritual side of Islam (free online version here).

Books by Dr. Jonathan Brown (a convert to Islam) are all very good.

If you want to learn more about the Quran, many people highly recommend The Study Quran: A New Translation and Commentary.

Best wishes.

Are we patient if we complain silently to God?

If we complaint silently in hopes that God listen to our hearts, does that count as patience?

Sure. Complaining to God is what the Prophets did, peace be upon them, when they were being patient.

85. They said, “By God, you will not stop remembering Joseph, until you have ruined your health, or you have passed away.”

86. He said, “I only complain of my grief and sorrow to God, and I know from God what you do not know.” (The Quran, verses 12:85-86)

Best wishes.

Follow-up question

can we get back to the “complaining to god” conversation. if we are dealing with a frustrating situation where we are incapable of digest what’s going on, if I say in my mind “this is unfair I deserve better, when will the good things happen to me” isn’t it that ungrateful, am I not being a brat because so far god has been good to me isn’t it family-wise and health-wise. I mean he has favored me in other areas so if I complain wouldnt that be ungrateful

It depends on the tone of your conversation with God. You can state your situation to Him without blaming Him or acting as if He has wronged you. The Quran gives us a very beautiful example of the right attitude in the story of Prophet Ayyub (Biblical Job), peace be upon him:

83. And Job, when he cried out to his Lord: “Great harm has afflicted me, and you are the Most Merciful of the merciful.”

84. So We answered him, lifted his suffering, and restored his family to him, and their like with them—a mercy from Us, and a reminder for the worshipers. (The Quran, verses 21:83-84)

Instead of asking for anything, he simply states his condition and tells God He is merciful. God treats his complaint as if it is a prayer and answers it by taking away his difficulty.

Is it sinful to be picky about whom you befriend?

Salam alaikum. Is it a sin or prideful of us to be selective in choosing the friends we surround ourselves with?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

No, that’s how friendship works. We like to befriend those who are like ourselves in their thinking and principles.