Ikram Hawramani's Blog, page 19

Ayesha, At Last by Uzma Jalaluddin (Book Review)

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Ayesha, At Last is a 2018 novel by Uzma Jalaluddin, a Canadian Muslim. It is her first novel. The publisher stresses that this is a Muslim version of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. This comparison is very unfair to Austen’s great masterpiece and sets readers up for disappointment. The story is a melodramatic and unrealistic soap opera with unbelievable characters and events. The dialog is atrocious. The hero is an absolute bore and the heroine is best described as an impulsive non-Muslim teenager who happens to wear the hijab, neither of them having any of the depth and sophistication one expects from Jane Austen’s heroes. But if you can get over these things and treat the novel as just another below-average contemporary novel with elements from Pride and Prejudice thrown in, you will be able to enjoy an entertaining and thrilling tale. If you read novels merely for entertainment then this book fits the bill. But if you expect something more than entertainment, something that expands your ideas and makes you look at life and people in a new way as Jane Austen’s novels do, then this book has nothing to offer.

Ayesha is an Indian immigrant living in Toronto. She is a high school substitute teacher and poet who falls in love with a conservative Muslim man named Khalid who has a very large beard and wears a traditional Muslim skullcap and white robe even to work. In their early interactions Khalid manages to offend and anger Ayesha in numerous ways, while falling in love with her by steps. There is much argument and misunderstanding. Just as Ayesha and Khalid reach a point where they are ready to accept each other romantically, Khalid’s wicked and domineering mother Farzana finds out about their relationship and quickly arranges an engagement party with Ayesha’s beautiful but spoiled cousin Hafsa. Khalid at first thinks his mother has arranged an engagement to Ayesha due to a case of mistaken identity, but when he finds out the truth he goes along with the engagement because he thinks Ayesha has been leading him on for the sake of her cousin. Meanwhile the villain of the story, Tarek, tells Ayesha about a scandal in Khalid’s family and insinuates that Khalid had been supportive of the banishment to India and forced marriage of his sister Zareena after she had been discovered pregnant.

Ayesha concludes that Khalid is a monster, coward and hypocrite and calls him all of these adjectives when he proposes to her (while still being officially engaged to Ayesha’s cousin). Right after the rejection Khalid goes on to tell Hafsa that he is breaking up with her. In anger, Hafsa runs off with the villain Tarek without telling anyone. Tarek convinces Hafsa that he loves her and that they will have a secret wedding very soon.

Khalid writes Ayesha a long letter in which he explains what really had happened with his sister, showing her that he wasn’t the monster she had thought him. Eventually Tarek returns Hafsa to her family, and it is discovered that he had been the lover of Zareena, Khalid’s sister. He had done all of this in revenge for her banishment and forced marriage. He also manages to destroy Khalid’s mother’s reputation by manipulating her into playing a video of him telling a packed mosque all about Zareena’s treatment.

Once Hafsa is back, she quickly gets engaged to Masood, an eccentric and buffoonish wrestler and life coach who doesn’t mind the scandal surrounding her. Meanwhile, Tarek manages to save Hafsa from even a greater scandal by taking down Tarek’s pornographic website where he had been intended to show nude photos of Hafsa that he had taken while they had been together. Tarek uses the help of his Persian friend Amir and Ayesha’s computer geek brother Idrees. During Hafsa’s wedding, Khalid and Ayesha meet. She tells him she is grateful for his saving Hafsa’s reputation, and they quickly agree to get engaged.

The story is very exciting in the second half of the book, it is almost like a thriller. I found myself forgetting all the major criticisms I had of the book and simply enjoyed the story, regretting that it was to end soon.

Now, onto my criticisms.

Ayesha

The heroine Ayesha is nothing like Elizabeth, the heroine of Pride and Prejudice. Elizabeth is a beautiful example of Christian sense and maturity. Reading her dialog is honey to the mind and soul. She is the very best of Christianity “made flesh”. Ayesha, on the other hand, represents Islam only by her hijab. Islam is only relevant to her as a problem she has to overcome. We do not see anything at all that shows Islam to have made her in any way different from the typical Western girl.

A person expecting to see a Muslim alternative to Elizabeth is therefore going to be sorely disappointed. There certainly are Muslim girls who are just like Elizabeth and I have known some in my extended family. Westerners would be right to conclude that Islamic culture is inferior to Victorian Christianity if the best we had to offer were girls like Ayesha. As someone who has actually lived in a very Pride and Prejudice-like atmosphere in my Iranian-Kurdish culture, I find the culture represented in Ayesha, At Last highly inferior.

Ayesha is not a very likable person either, at least not in the first half of the book. She breaks a ceramic mug and leaves it strewn all over the street, potentially damaging people’s car tires. She is irresponsible enough to leave a classroom unattended in order to hide herself in a bathroom stall to write poetry. At times she is as irresponsible and impulsive as a Western teenager. But I did grow to like her once I got over my disappointment and stopped to expect her to be a Muslim Elizabeth.

Khalid

The male hero of the story, Mr. Darcy’s equivalent, is 26-year-old Khalid. But he is far more reminiscent of Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice than Darcy, at least in the first half of the book. I couldn’t help laughing when the author writes on page 141 that to Ayesha, Khalid was unlike any other man she had ever met. Are the choices of Indo-Pakistani girls living in the West so depressingly limited that Khalid should appear as anything but the most average Muslim male you can think of?

Mr. Darcy’s trouble in Pride and Prejudice is that he has very strong opinions and is not shy to express them, causing people to view him as rude and heartless. Khalid’s trouble is quite the opposite; he has zero opinions of his own and insults people by expressing his opinions bluntly. He says “I’ve never had a girlfriend. How could I possibly know what I want in a wife?” He goes on to say that his mother can choose better for him. Even at the age of 15 none of my high school friends (who were good and dutiful Muslim boys) would have been so oblivious and immature to say something like that with seriousness. They would have gotten over this type of thinking in elementary school. What an insult to my high school friends!

The dialog

The biggest problem with the book is the dialog. There is no other way to express it: it is horrendous. The editor who allowed such dialog to go to publishing should find another job; it is as if she knew nothing of one of the most elementary points of novel-writing. To give an example:

"I grew up in a very diverse neighborhood, so I'm used to living and working with people of different ethnicities and cultures," Clara said.

Page 20.

A person may write something like that in a job application. Writing it in an informal email would make people smirk. Saying it out loud–but no human would ever say something like that out loud without causing hilarity.

And here is Khalid talking like teenager trying to write a self-help manual with a thesaurus:

"Your presence in a relationship is not indicative of commitment but rather inertia. Standing before your friends and family and pledging your love and loyalty is an essential ingredient for a long-lasting union.

Page 164.

Indicative? Inertia? Long-lasting union? People never use words like that when talking.

And here is a Indo-Pakistani aunty talking:

Finally, she should show a deference and modesty of character. She must not speak when her elders are talking. She must be quiet and refined, never gossip or joke.

Page 75.

Not even a professor will use a word like “deference” in conversation.

Since no humans speak this way, it is clear that the author never imagined her characters actually speaking the dialog. A reader imagining the characters actually speaking the dialog aloud will find unintended hilarity on almost every other page.

Unreal behavior

Tarek puts his hands around Ayesha’s shoulders to lead her to somewhere quiet to chat with her. No self-respecting Muslim woman would ever let a man touch her casually like that. The book is full of such actions that never take place in the reality of a Muslim community.

On page 88, the wicked white woman Sheila says to an employee,

Not a word of this to anyone, [u]nless you want your life to become very uncomfortable.

Unreal elements like this quickly turn the novel into a soap opera. At one point Ayesha wakes up in the women’s section of the mosque and sees Khalid looking at her. Immediately she says to him, “Were you staring at me?” What kind of Muslim woman shames a Muslim man like that? Unbelievable and gross.

And then there are the horrible Indo-Pakistani aunties we meet. Here is one talking after coming to see Ayesha and her family to find out if she is a good fit for her son:

We have a few more girls to see today. We will be in touch if Masood thinks you will be a good fit for the position.

And here is Khalid’s mother talking to Ayesha:

When Khalid spoke about the teacher who was helping him plan the conference, I knew it was time for him to get married. Before he was duped by a pathetic spinster pretending to be more than she was.

Page 201.

The crudeness, rudeness and the complete lack of good manners among the Indo-Pakistani mothers makes them look like Neanderthals compared to the classy and sophisticated women of my Iranian-Kurdish background. The book confirms the worst stereotypes Westerners may have about Muslim women. This type of behavior can be expected among the lowest class of Iranians, but not among the affluent “gentleman class” that is the equivalent of the society portrayed in Pride and Prejudice. Maybe the author is simply caricaturing legendary bad aunties that she has never met in real life. I really hope so.

And here is Ayesha speaking with Khalid after discussing setting up a mosque conference:

Khalid, we're too different. This isn't ... real. Please, just let me go.

Page 119.

What on earth? I cannot imagine even the most mentally disturbed and immature Muslim girl to speak like that, acknowledging that he has a romantic interest in her out of nowhere, when their relationship is supposed to be formal and professional.

And here is Tarek, a respected Islamic conference organizer, talking to Ayesha in the presence of Khalid:

How can I focus when you're such a distraction?

Page 148.

And here are Ayesha and Khalid supposedly having a classy and subtle romantic talk where they cannot acknowledge their attraction for each other. This happens during an extremely unreal scene where Ayesha’s grandmother agrees to teach traditional cooking to a completely random and unmarried stranger (Khalid). A real Muslim grandmother would consider it completely scandalous to partake in this set up, but she happily goes along with it.

"I'm the doomed spinster. When I finally have the time to look for a husband, I'll be thirty-five and all the good men will be taken. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll find a second cousin in India who will marry me for my Canadian citizenship."

Khalid was doodling in his notebook. "Or you could look around right now," he said slowly, and Ayesha felt her hand tingling from where they had touched.

"Khalid ..." she began, but Nani [Ayesha's grandmother] was back.

The obviousness and crudeness of Khalid’s hint that Ayesha should be considering him as a romantic interest makes one want to gag.

The lack of Christian charity

Besides all the character and narrative failings of the story, there is also a serious moral failing that shows the author to have little of Jane Austen’s spiritual maturity. The author has no empathy for her “wicked” characters, who are all pure evil. The only “normal” people, the only humans, are the people immediately surrounding the heroine: herself, her mother, her brother Idrees, her grandparents, her friend Clara, and Khalid and Hafsa once they are humanized by Ayesha. Everyone else is a vacuous cookie-cutter stereotype. The author is unwilling, or unable, to see the world from the eyes of any of the other characters except at rare moments. Only the people she likes are really human, and those she doesn’t are judged as soulless robots filling this or that role, only good for judging, criticizing, parodying. This lack of empathy for most of flawed humanity is typical of many Muslim intellectuals and is troubling.

If you cannot empathize with your typical and bad characters, if you cannot see how you could have been exactly like them in alternative circumstances, then you have a lot more to learn about being human, a lot more before you are truly mature and able to elevate others. Standing before Jane Austen I feel safe, no matter how much is wrong with me, I know she will see me as a human that can be empathized with. Before Uzma I feel utterly insecure; which one of her stereotypes do I fit so that I can be shoved and dismissed into that category, to be ignored, parodied: Muslim male type C.

In other words, what the author lacks is Jane Austen ‘s wonderful Victorian Christian charity which we also see in George Eliot, the willingness to see every human, and I mean every human, as infinitely worthy, irreplaceable. Austen has taken to heart the Christian principle to treat others as you like to be treated yourself (as best stated by Kant), and that includes racist and “Islamophobic” white women and controlling and domineering Indo-Pakistani mothers. If you want to know a person’s spiritual maturity, see how much humanity he or she attributes to the people he dislikes and disagrees with. So the general treatment of flawed Muslim society is definitely not Austenian, quite the opposite. I know Austen will have it in her big heart to love me even if she knows I’m a sexist, prejudiced and arrogant male. A mother’s unconditional love is extended to all; knowing that no one is wholly bad and that everyone, no matter how bad, was at one point an adorable infant dearly lovable to a mother.

The author’s idea of a good ending is that Khalid’s poor mother Farzana, after losing her husband and daughter, also loses Khalid who moves out of her home, so that she is left alone in her house; her reputation shattered and her husband and children taken away from her. This is absolutely tragic, but the author’s complete lack of empathy for Farzana makes her rejoice in such an ending.

Conclusion

I don’t believe in holding Muslim writers to lower standards, so I haven’t tried to moderate my criticisms. But this is the author’s first novel and it is to be hoped that she can improve on the aforementioned points in any future novels she writes. There was one line in novel that greatly impressed me, describing what it feels like for a Muslim woman to meet an interested Muslim man for the first time during the formal rishta ceremony where the man and his family observe the woman:

Ayesha looked at the clock. Only five minutes had passed. She had forgotten how uncomfortable it was to go on a blind date in front of her entire family.

Page 110.

Are Muslims forbidden from making deals with Jews?

Are we forbidden to be making deals with jews? This is because certain preachers from my country accuse them that they would definitely break every promise they make.

There are no rulings about making deals with Jews. We treat them the way we treat other non-Muslims. It is true that many Jews subscribe to a moral system where non-Jews are treated as inferior and unworthy of loyalty, so this has to be taken into account.

What do I want from life?

What do you want from life? This is a very random question but I would like to know.

I am flattered that you are interested in knowing that. The only things I truly want from life seem impossible, so I don’t really have any hopes in this life. If my life is to contain any meaning or satisfaction then that can only come through God. My hopes are in the afterlife.

How to focus better on dhikr or prayer

Salam alaykum, how does one do dhikr so they are engaged with it and not bored? I want to fix this part of my ibadah but I find with the repetitions my mind wanders and am surprised to find myself in the middle of planning my grocery list while my tongue is saying the words mindlessly on autopilot. How do people do dhikr with sincerity?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

I don’t think there is a way to have perfect focus on dhikr or prayer except by entering a trance state (as I explain below). The point is to do your best, to put in the time and effort, and if despite that your brain does not cooperate, then it is not your fault. Your reward depends on your effort and sacrifice. A person who has a hard time focusing but spends more time and effort in doing dhikr or prayer will likely have a higher reward than someone who has perfect focus but spends less time and effort. Your sincerity depends on your intention and effort, not on whether you can focus or not.

Being able to focus depends on your brain chemistry at the time. Right before bed it is much easier to focus on prayer than in the middle of the day, for example. And if you do five minutes of meditation right before the dhikr or prayer, you will be able to focus much better. Personally I do something called self-hypnosis where I lie down or sit comfortably in a chair, relax, and say in my mind “I feel calmer and calmer, I feel more and more relaxed.” After about five minutes I enter a hypnotic trance where my mind is extremely lucid and calm, and if I do dhikr, or recite Quran in my mind, it is easily ten times more powerful and emotional than doing it in a normal state. I believe this is what certain Sufi practices achieve, except this is much easier and doesn’t require any Sufi ideas or beliefs.

Is wine vinegar or balsamic vinegar halal?

Salam, I read somewhere it says that white wine vinegar is consumable for us Muslims because it is considered a vinegar more than a wine. Is it true ?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

There is no issue with drinking wine vinegars. The traditional way of making vinegar uses a double fermentation process where first the vinegar stock (such as grape juice) is fermented into a wine-like alcoholic liquid, then in the second fermentation the alcohol is turned into vinegar. So any traditional or homemade vinegar will have passed through a wine-like stage at some point even if it is not called a wine vinegar. There will be very small amounts of alcohol left in the vinegar, but since it is impossible to get drunk on vinegar, this is not an issue.

Is lack of hardship a sign that God does not love you?

Salam. I have a question that I have been wondering about for a while now, and it may seem a little strange. It is often said that the more beloved you are to Allah, the more you are tested. If you are not tested with anything particularly severe, does that mean you are not as beloved to Allah? It's not that I don't have any worries/problems in my life, but I have never been tested with anything severe (Alhamdulillah) and sometimes I wonder if it's because I'm not that beloved to Allah.

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

We are all tested in different ways. For those who worship God sincerely and seek to always be close to Him, God always creates the ideal situation where an aspect of their character is tested and enhanced. God helps us mature by showing us our defects and enabling us to correct them. Living in ease can also be a very difficult test, since we are tempted to think that God likes us and approves of us and we mistakenly think our ease is because of that. I recommend that you always seek to remain close to God (such as by reading the Quran daily), and leave it to God to take care of helping you improve and mature.

Caught between Catholicism and agnosticism

Do you have any advice on getting through a religious dilemma? I grew up in a somewhat Catholic household, for years I have prayed and went to church quite regularly, but in my early 20s, I have became an agnostic person due to my scientific studies, but now I don't think science and religion is mutually exclusive. A year ago I visited Jerusalem and I was amazed by being at the "source" & became fascinated by Islamic art. I am now kind of stuck - how can my beliefs, faith (or lack of) coexist?

Face God and sincerely pray to Him for guidance, and He will guide you. God is always with you, you just need to start speaking to Him. If you feel something blocking you from wanting to speak to Him, ignore it and do it anyway regardless of how you feel and regardless of whether it seems to have any benefit or not.

Another thing you could do is read the Bible and the Quran in a good translation (such as Abdel Haleem’s). To fully appreciate the Quran a person should read it multiple times. The first time you read it all the new information may make it difficult to take in its deeper meaning. But the second time you will be able to connect with it much better.

If you have difficulty connecting with Islam, try reading C. S. Lewis’s works (especially Mere Christianity). The best things in Christianity are also present in Islam, so if you appreciate Lewis you will be able to appreciate both Christianity and Islam all the more.

Also realize that deciding to become religious (whether Christian or Muslim) is not an intellectual decision. It is similar to the way no amount of reading will enable you to drive a car unless you actually get in a car and do it. In the end you will have to “open your heart”, to make a leap of faith, to take a great risk and accept its consequences. This requires a great amount of courage and sacrifice.

Is salah valid if the first tahiyya/tashahhud is forgotten?

Salam I want to ask, what to do if a person forgot to read Tahiyatul during the second rak'ah?

Alaikumassalam wa ra rahmatullah,

The first tahiyya is sunna, not fard, so forgetting it does not nullify the prayer. If you forget it simply do sujud al-sahw after the prayer. Since sujud al-sahw is also considered sunna by some schools, forgetting to do this will not nullify the prayer either according to this opinion.

Can we ask God for small things as well as great?

Alslam alikum Sometimes I want to ask ALLAH for something to help me with my studying life or love life but then I remember the people who has more serious issues than mine ,like those who have cancer or those who have lost a child and I feel bad about myself so I don’t ask or Dua’a I would like to hear your opinion in this case

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Asking God for things is a form of worship, so you should do it as often as you can for whatever reason. If you are cooking something, ask God to make it turn out well. If you can’t find your keys, ask God to help you find it. Whatever difficulty, small or great, that you face throughout the day should be an occasion for asking God for His help. It doesn’t cost Him anything and it increases His love for you. Ideally we should spend our days asking of Him, praising Him or thanking Him whatever the reason or occasion.

Do Muslims believe in establishing a caliphate?

Salaam. Many ulema in Indonesia agreed that the Caliphate is one of Muslim obligation to be established, while I've read your essay that you do not agree on the re-establishment of the Caliphate. Your essay mentions only for the Western, that it do not need a Caliphate. Does your thoughts and opinion also applied to every country and place on Earth, that we do not need a re-establishment of Caliphate?

Also, why are there people who think that Muslims need a Caliphate and that it's re-establishment is obligated upon every Muslim? I noticed that not a single ayat in the Quran says that Allah made the Caliphate an obligation. Also, when Prophet Muhammad's (peace be upon him) time was near, he did not emphasize his speech to call upon the people to keep running the Caliphate. If Allah and Prophet Muhammad did not befall this responsibility to Muslim ummah, why are there some who eager for it?

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

My opinion applies to the whole world. There is no strong evidence that it is required for Muslims to establish a caliphate. I expect the reason why some people like the idea is that it seems to give them a purpose in life that they can work toward–it gives them a seemingly achievable goal, and a sense of power, while also freeing them from the requirement of reforming their own hearts.

Islam’s view of reform is bottom-up (or “grassroots”). Change begins with the individual, and the best example is the Prophet PBUH who never sought political power but only reformed the individuals around him. But Islamists (those who like to turn Islam into a political ideology/movement) turn things upside down. They have a “top-down” understanding of change. They think that if they can gain power they can make the world such a better place for everyone. This utopian/fairy tale idea of creating a perfect state was imported from Western political ideologies and has no basis in Islam. Islam does not teach us to gain power to do to good. It teaches us to do good right now and leave it to God to give us power, when He wants, for as long as He wants.

Unlike Zionist Jews, we do not have a “Greater Israel” to establish. Islam does not promise us some wonderful future on earth where every problem will be solved. Islam teaches us that power is given and taken by God as He likes. Even if we establish the perfect caliphate and it rules the world for the next 500 years, it too will be destroyed like every caliphate/Islamic state before that. History goes in cycles and our goal is to be the best humans we can be regardless of how powerful or powerless we are.

Note that I am not against political activism as I discuss in the essay.

Salaam. I agree that Moslem should have the "bottom-up" mindset. And I interested to your opinion about we (Moslem), should not to re-establish caliphate in anywhere. Then, I have a question. What should we do as a Moslem, to get unity? And in hadith, Rasulullah (peace be upon him) said that Moslem could conquer the Rome. How we could to get there if caliphate isn't re-establish? I just curious with ur opinion, cause I still looking the best way to living Islam. Jazakumullah khairan katsira

Alaikumassalam wa rahmatullah,

Unity is like all the other good things that Islam teaches us, such as fearing God. We can never attain perfect unity or perfect fear of God. But we can strive to accomplish as much of it as possible. Even if the Muslim world achieves perfect unity for 10 or 50 years, this will end and things will go back to the way they have always been. There isn’t some state of perfection that we can achieve permanently. Islam is all about the journey, the destination is not this world but the afterlife. In this world, whatever we accomplish will sooner or later come to an end. Nothing in this world is lasting except the record of our deeds.

Islam does not teach us to always work to get rich in order to give our money in charity. It teaches us that God grants wealth to whomever He wants and tells us to give our money in charity if we ever have enough to give away. In the same way, Islam does not teach us to always work to gain power (as Islamist ideologues think) in order to do good with our power when we have it. It teaches us that all power belongs to God and that He gives it to whomever He wants, and teaches us to use power responsibly if we are given it.

Note that “Rome”, when mentioned in hadith, actually means Byzantium (present-day Turkey), which was conquered by the Ottomans.