Sophia Sunshine Vilceus's Blog: In His Will, page 6
April 19, 2016
Praying for Your Unsaved Friends
The Christian walk, if done correctly, is a mighty struggle. It shouldn’t be easy and free of tension and inner conflict. To be in this world and in His word and Will can and should be a challenge. We have to be constantly working on making ourselves righteous and Holy and acceptable to our God. To show our love for Him, we must be obedient to Christ (John:14:23). As Christians, we are called to be the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13).. We are called to be the light. By God’s grace, I am that for my sister-friends. They know it. And I know it. More importantly, God knows it. And that really does my heart good.
I find that so many people believe that generically believing that a God exists is enough. They do not look to go further than that. They don’t look to do as Jesus commanded them. They do not wholeheartedly believe in fundamental Christian groundwork, like The Holy Bible and Jesus as God. Sin is normative. And God is whatever they say He is. That mentality is insufficient, dangerous, and problematic. Often, people do not want to deal with the hoopla of spirituality or religion, so they make- up their own rules about who God is so they can comfortably live their life of sin and still call themselves “Christian.” They feel guilt-free.
Within the last year or so, more than ever, I’ve had a huge burden on my heart to pray for my unsaved friends. I have been very intentional in trying to let them see God and His truth and wonder in me. Some of them do “Churchy” things like sing in the Choir religiously. Others, cringe at the thought of sitting through a Church service. Others are on the fence about their beliefs. But, in our close relationships and deep talks, I know that they are not saved and do not necessarily care to be or do God’s will. I pray for them earnestly and often. But, it frequently pains me to see women I love, unsure about their salvation, unchurched, and uncovered in this brutal, sinful world. If they died today, they nor I, know where they would go (John 14: 6). My love for them allows me to be deeply scared for them.
My loved ones came to spend a weekend with me. And part of the weekend was for us to go to my Church for Sunday service. I have been looking forward to it for many weeks and have been praying about it too. I noticed that a few hours before service was to begin, a lackluster energy ensued amongst my friends, as they lay in bed. No one got up for Church with the same enthusiasm they did to go out to dinner or other “fun” places. I can’t lie, I was deeply discouraged. Essentially, a few of them said they no longer felt like going. In my feelings, I decided to stream Church online. My Pastor was preaching about being an enemy of Christ and being shameless in our sin. I knew they were listening because they began a conversation amongst themselves, essentially mocking the principles that my Pastor was preaching against (sex before marriage, homosexuality, a man and a woman living together before marriage etc..) When my friends began mocking those sentiments, I couldn’t help but feel like they were mocking me and my beliefs. So, I began praying for myself, that I would not take offense to where they were Spiritually. I stayed quiet in that conversation and simply continued to pray-- a habit I have learned to exercise when I am upset.
Then God began to speak to me. “They are not mocking you, they are mocking Me”, He said (1 Thessalonians 4). He started to speak to my heart and urged me to let the offense go. God reminded me of a lesson that He recently taught me through my Pastor. You cannot expect people who are not in the Spirit to see things Spiritually. Wordly people,who are not yet willing to be in the Spirit, think in a worldly way. And the Spirit and the world speak two different languages. Wordly people will only be able to see things in the Spirit when they are willing and ready. You can engage in a tense conversation with someone who genuinely is interested in trying to understand our Holy Father and trying to figure out their faith. But, many people are hardened and only want to debate Spiritual things for the sake of debating. They have no desire or interest to truly know the one and only living God.
Once, I was done praying for myself. I continued to pray for my friends. And I knew that even though we didn’t make it to the House of God, I am constantly trying to exemplify who God is to them by being the best possible person I can be--by showering them with my service, hospitality, love, grace, forgiveness, and compassion. I am grateful that they at least got to hear the word of God from a man of God.
There is an undeniable anointing, protection, wisdom, power, and blessing over my life. For the life of me, that is all I want for my loved ones. I desperately want them to have the same access to the goodness of God that I do. I am so thankful that God is an understanding and merciful God, who is always willing to accept His children whenever they are ready. I know that I cannot always explain my Spiritual experience to my worldly friends, but I do pray that one day, I can. And I understand that at times I may be ridiculed for holding steadfast to my beliefs and my calling. But, I do know that the perks of being in God’s will and doing His will far exceed the momentary discomfort of being misunderstood or under seige by people.
If you have a loved one who is unsaved, I encourage you to lift up this special prayer on their behalf:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for being a God who sees and wants us all. I lift up [ ] to You. I thank You for placing them in my life so that I can be a representation of You to them. Give me the Grace and the heart to minister to them in any way You deem fit. God, I pray that You call them away from their sin and protect them from dangers seen and unseen. For we know there are many dangers lurking in our lives that we are not completely privy to. We know there is a constant fight for us and against us in the Spiritual realm. I know that You are a God that is concerned about every one of Your wandering sheep. I pray that my loved ones are divinely blessed just by being connected to me. Thank You for Your Grace and Love that covers a multitude of all our sins. May You save them, Church them, and call them back to Your will. I am available to be used by You, for them.
In Jesus’ name, your daughter prays.
Amen.
I find that so many people believe that generically believing that a God exists is enough. They do not look to go further than that. They don’t look to do as Jesus commanded them. They do not wholeheartedly believe in fundamental Christian groundwork, like The Holy Bible and Jesus as God. Sin is normative. And God is whatever they say He is. That mentality is insufficient, dangerous, and problematic. Often, people do not want to deal with the hoopla of spirituality or religion, so they make- up their own rules about who God is so they can comfortably live their life of sin and still call themselves “Christian.” They feel guilt-free.
Within the last year or so, more than ever, I’ve had a huge burden on my heart to pray for my unsaved friends. I have been very intentional in trying to let them see God and His truth and wonder in me. Some of them do “Churchy” things like sing in the Choir religiously. Others, cringe at the thought of sitting through a Church service. Others are on the fence about their beliefs. But, in our close relationships and deep talks, I know that they are not saved and do not necessarily care to be or do God’s will. I pray for them earnestly and often. But, it frequently pains me to see women I love, unsure about their salvation, unchurched, and uncovered in this brutal, sinful world. If they died today, they nor I, know where they would go (John 14: 6). My love for them allows me to be deeply scared for them.
My loved ones came to spend a weekend with me. And part of the weekend was for us to go to my Church for Sunday service. I have been looking forward to it for many weeks and have been praying about it too. I noticed that a few hours before service was to begin, a lackluster energy ensued amongst my friends, as they lay in bed. No one got up for Church with the same enthusiasm they did to go out to dinner or other “fun” places. I can’t lie, I was deeply discouraged. Essentially, a few of them said they no longer felt like going. In my feelings, I decided to stream Church online. My Pastor was preaching about being an enemy of Christ and being shameless in our sin. I knew they were listening because they began a conversation amongst themselves, essentially mocking the principles that my Pastor was preaching against (sex before marriage, homosexuality, a man and a woman living together before marriage etc..) When my friends began mocking those sentiments, I couldn’t help but feel like they were mocking me and my beliefs. So, I began praying for myself, that I would not take offense to where they were Spiritually. I stayed quiet in that conversation and simply continued to pray-- a habit I have learned to exercise when I am upset.
Then God began to speak to me. “They are not mocking you, they are mocking Me”, He said (1 Thessalonians 4). He started to speak to my heart and urged me to let the offense go. God reminded me of a lesson that He recently taught me through my Pastor. You cannot expect people who are not in the Spirit to see things Spiritually. Wordly people,who are not yet willing to be in the Spirit, think in a worldly way. And the Spirit and the world speak two different languages. Wordly people will only be able to see things in the Spirit when they are willing and ready. You can engage in a tense conversation with someone who genuinely is interested in trying to understand our Holy Father and trying to figure out their faith. But, many people are hardened and only want to debate Spiritual things for the sake of debating. They have no desire or interest to truly know the one and only living God.
Once, I was done praying for myself. I continued to pray for my friends. And I knew that even though we didn’t make it to the House of God, I am constantly trying to exemplify who God is to them by being the best possible person I can be--by showering them with my service, hospitality, love, grace, forgiveness, and compassion. I am grateful that they at least got to hear the word of God from a man of God.
There is an undeniable anointing, protection, wisdom, power, and blessing over my life. For the life of me, that is all I want for my loved ones. I desperately want them to have the same access to the goodness of God that I do. I am so thankful that God is an understanding and merciful God, who is always willing to accept His children whenever they are ready. I know that I cannot always explain my Spiritual experience to my worldly friends, but I do pray that one day, I can. And I understand that at times I may be ridiculed for holding steadfast to my beliefs and my calling. But, I do know that the perks of being in God’s will and doing His will far exceed the momentary discomfort of being misunderstood or under seige by people.
If you have a loved one who is unsaved, I encourage you to lift up this special prayer on their behalf:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank You for being a God who sees and wants us all. I lift up [ ] to You. I thank You for placing them in my life so that I can be a representation of You to them. Give me the Grace and the heart to minister to them in any way You deem fit. God, I pray that You call them away from their sin and protect them from dangers seen and unseen. For we know there are many dangers lurking in our lives that we are not completely privy to. We know there is a constant fight for us and against us in the Spiritual realm. I know that You are a God that is concerned about every one of Your wandering sheep. I pray that my loved ones are divinely blessed just by being connected to me. Thank You for Your Grace and Love that covers a multitude of all our sins. May You save them, Church them, and call them back to Your will. I am available to be used by You, for them.
In Jesus’ name, your daughter prays.
Amen.
March 21, 2016
Purposeful Pit
I, like many praying Christians, silently struggle with the stronghold of bouts of anxiety and depression. For many of us, being a faithful Christian and dealing with mental oppression can seem like a sheer contradiction, which only makes our pit harder to manage. A few weeks ago, I found it impossible to simply get out of my bed to face my responsibilities. The idea of merely facing the day and getting to the work that made me unhappy simply felt like too heavy of a task. So, I stayed in bed for an entire week. Didn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. Could not find or hold my peace. And could not stop crying for the life of me. It was then that I knew that I needed to get well and get back into therapy.
After a few hours of talk therapy, I began to realize the source of my deep rooted anxiety and waves of depression. My Christian therapist and I spoke about family, a recent traumatic car accident that threatened to take my life, and a host of other things that subconsciously I failed to acknowledge and deal with. The biggest thing I suppressed though was acknowledging that my grueling work schedule frequently leaves me emotionally and physically spent and unfulfilled. For 8 hours, I feel stagnant at the full time job that I have simply outgrown over the last 4 years. After those long and demanding 8 hours, I travel to my part job as an Adjunct Professor. I love that work, but often times the juggling act of balancing a full time job with Adjuncting between three colleges, just leaves me on empty. And my consistent job search, which feels like a whole other job in itself, has led to nowhere.
One of my personal goals while I was trying to find my way out of this particular bout of depression was to get off my couch and force myself to do something social. I peeled myself off my couch and went to a former co-worker’s Super Bowl Party. In small talk, his wife told me of a potential opening position at her job as an Administrative Assistant. I had been an Administrative Assistant before and honestly I wasn’t looking forward to going back to that line of work. But, I told her to keep me posted nonetheless.
The position did in fact become available, and I was called in for an interview. Although the interview went well, the people interviewing me thought I was overqualified for the position. They had their doubts on whether I would be fulfilled in this particular position and wondered if I would stay for the long haul. I had the very same doubts, but the salary was a little better than what I was currently making, so I embraced the idea of taking a position that I knew deep down was not for me in this stage of my career.
I got called in for a second interview, this time with the head of the company. During my drive to the second interview, I cried and pleaded with God in my car. I was so sad at the thought of moving from one lukewarm job to another. I put on a brave face once I got to the interview. No one would have known I spent half an hour praying and sobbing in my car, feeling like I was moving to absolutely nowhere. As soon as I sat down, the energetic woman interviewing me wondered the same things that the first interviewer did. Why would I apply to this particular position when my education and experience say that I am capable of more? I tried to satisfy her with an answer but she interrupted me with a calming smile and asked, “Sophia, honestly, what would be your dream job?” I told her the truth. I said, “my ideal career would be to be a full time Professor, or writing full time for a publication. Education and writing are my two passions and if I could have a job that incorporates them both, I’d be happy.” She looked at me and said, “why don’t we create that very position for you?” She explained the need for a grant writer in her organization, as well as the need for someone to train her staff on how to tighten up their writing. My heart lit up. And I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God was in that room.
My spirit becomes overwhelmed with how intentional God is. He reminds me that even my rock bottom is purposeful. Even my pit that he promises to lift me from, is filled with tremendous purpose. He can use even my deepest pits to teach me something good and show me something good. He knew that when he gave me the strength to peel myself off that couch in the midst of my depression and press on to that SuperBowl party, that conversation would essentially lead me to the place that I had only dreamed about.
You may be struggling and feeling utterly defeated in an area of your life. God’s ways are not our ways and just because we can’t see Him working, doesn’t mean He is not working on our behalf. If you are feeling low and discouraged, I encourage you to lift up the simple prayer below and let your heart be strong. Know it is all working for your good.
God, thank You for being with me even during my darkest moments. Thank You for reminding me that You are bigger than any anxiety or sadness in my life. There is purpose even in my slimiest pits. I’m grateful to serve a God that is interested in creating special things just for me. Lord, even when my I can’t see my way, help me to be assured that my steps are in fact ordered. Thank You for being so intentional in my life. I vow to do a good job with all the great things You entrust me with.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
After a few hours of talk therapy, I began to realize the source of my deep rooted anxiety and waves of depression. My Christian therapist and I spoke about family, a recent traumatic car accident that threatened to take my life, and a host of other things that subconsciously I failed to acknowledge and deal with. The biggest thing I suppressed though was acknowledging that my grueling work schedule frequently leaves me emotionally and physically spent and unfulfilled. For 8 hours, I feel stagnant at the full time job that I have simply outgrown over the last 4 years. After those long and demanding 8 hours, I travel to my part job as an Adjunct Professor. I love that work, but often times the juggling act of balancing a full time job with Adjuncting between three colleges, just leaves me on empty. And my consistent job search, which feels like a whole other job in itself, has led to nowhere.
One of my personal goals while I was trying to find my way out of this particular bout of depression was to get off my couch and force myself to do something social. I peeled myself off my couch and went to a former co-worker’s Super Bowl Party. In small talk, his wife told me of a potential opening position at her job as an Administrative Assistant. I had been an Administrative Assistant before and honestly I wasn’t looking forward to going back to that line of work. But, I told her to keep me posted nonetheless.
The position did in fact become available, and I was called in for an interview. Although the interview went well, the people interviewing me thought I was overqualified for the position. They had their doubts on whether I would be fulfilled in this particular position and wondered if I would stay for the long haul. I had the very same doubts, but the salary was a little better than what I was currently making, so I embraced the idea of taking a position that I knew deep down was not for me in this stage of my career.
I got called in for a second interview, this time with the head of the company. During my drive to the second interview, I cried and pleaded with God in my car. I was so sad at the thought of moving from one lukewarm job to another. I put on a brave face once I got to the interview. No one would have known I spent half an hour praying and sobbing in my car, feeling like I was moving to absolutely nowhere. As soon as I sat down, the energetic woman interviewing me wondered the same things that the first interviewer did. Why would I apply to this particular position when my education and experience say that I am capable of more? I tried to satisfy her with an answer but she interrupted me with a calming smile and asked, “Sophia, honestly, what would be your dream job?” I told her the truth. I said, “my ideal career would be to be a full time Professor, or writing full time for a publication. Education and writing are my two passions and if I could have a job that incorporates them both, I’d be happy.” She looked at me and said, “why don’t we create that very position for you?” She explained the need for a grant writer in her organization, as well as the need for someone to train her staff on how to tighten up their writing. My heart lit up. And I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God was in that room.
My spirit becomes overwhelmed with how intentional God is. He reminds me that even my rock bottom is purposeful. Even my pit that he promises to lift me from, is filled with tremendous purpose. He can use even my deepest pits to teach me something good and show me something good. He knew that when he gave me the strength to peel myself off that couch in the midst of my depression and press on to that SuperBowl party, that conversation would essentially lead me to the place that I had only dreamed about.
You may be struggling and feeling utterly defeated in an area of your life. God’s ways are not our ways and just because we can’t see Him working, doesn’t mean He is not working on our behalf. If you are feeling low and discouraged, I encourage you to lift up the simple prayer below and let your heart be strong. Know it is all working for your good.
God, thank You for being with me even during my darkest moments. Thank You for reminding me that You are bigger than any anxiety or sadness in my life. There is purpose even in my slimiest pits. I’m grateful to serve a God that is interested in creating special things just for me. Lord, even when my I can’t see my way, help me to be assured that my steps are in fact ordered. Thank You for being so intentional in my life. I vow to do a good job with all the great things You entrust me with.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
January 28, 2016
Moving Passed our Painful Past
As I was completing an online application today, I created a username and a password for the application. Then, I answered a series of “security questions” in the event I forgot either my username and password. In our hyper-cyber world, answering security questions have become normative because we have a trillion usernames and passwords for things. And also because cyber-security is a pressing issue, hence the need for questions that only we know the answers to.
I began to really think about this notion of how we never seem to forget answers to our security questions. Security questions like, “your mother’s maiden name”, “the name of your first pet” or the “first school you attended” are common ones that we often find while completing applications for sensitive matters like job applications and bank applications. What are so important about these tiny, particular questions? In a time when we are constantly bombarded with information, what is it about these random, seemingly minuscule questions from our past that we cannot ever seem to get too far away from?
Then I began to think about a dear sister-friend of mine. She recently lost her beloved grandmother, who we both loved so much. Grandma was elderly and in many ways lived a full life. However, the moments before Grandma’s transition to Glory were extremely traumatizing for my sister-friend, as she witnessed and played a part of a scene that is hard to even imagine, yet alone live out. As I do my best to lovingly support my friend in her grieving process, I realize just how much she is able to zero in on that tragic scene. I understand how in a moment, she is catapulted right back to the day that broke her heart. I also fully notice how she can vividly recall the smallest details of that fateful day, the yells of her family, the final sounds of her grandmother. Even though a few months have passed, my sister-friend remains close to that day and understandably so.
There are a few tough days that I too, remain close to. The day my car was rear ended and spun out of control on I-495, my mother’s very last words to me on her death-bed, the day my elderly grandmother fell on her walker as we strolled through the park. Those are painful, excruciating moments for me that have the aptitude to leave me depressed when I dwell on them. As I told my friend, honing on those days will leave us crippled and emotionally challenged. The enemy’s greatest playground is our minds.
We all have those moments in our lives. Flashbacks that we simply cannot forget. Remembrances that are forever etched in our spirits. Sometimes as minuscule as the name of our first pet, sometimes extremely painful, like how we have lost our loved ones. Even if we share them with others, there are particular details of our lives and hurts in our hearts that only we can recall. There are places in our minds that have the ability to leave us crippled if we are not intentional about giving them over to God in serious prayer. The truth is, life is hard. The greater truth is, with God, we are able to do life. If you are having a hard time moving past a painful time, I encourage you to lift up this prayer:
Dear God,
Thank You for being a mind regulator and heart stabilizer. I don’t know how to get through life without you. I’m so grateful that I don’t have to do life alone. As I continue to live and sometimes feel the hurt and sting of life’s painful moments, I thank You for being my Present Help. Lord, I pray that You help me to move beyond my hurtful places. Help me to accept what was so I can live with what is. I pray that You substitute my sadness and all the memories of my hardest days and replace them with Your unspeakable peace and never ending joy.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
I began to really think about this notion of how we never seem to forget answers to our security questions. Security questions like, “your mother’s maiden name”, “the name of your first pet” or the “first school you attended” are common ones that we often find while completing applications for sensitive matters like job applications and bank applications. What are so important about these tiny, particular questions? In a time when we are constantly bombarded with information, what is it about these random, seemingly minuscule questions from our past that we cannot ever seem to get too far away from?
Then I began to think about a dear sister-friend of mine. She recently lost her beloved grandmother, who we both loved so much. Grandma was elderly and in many ways lived a full life. However, the moments before Grandma’s transition to Glory were extremely traumatizing for my sister-friend, as she witnessed and played a part of a scene that is hard to even imagine, yet alone live out. As I do my best to lovingly support my friend in her grieving process, I realize just how much she is able to zero in on that tragic scene. I understand how in a moment, she is catapulted right back to the day that broke her heart. I also fully notice how she can vividly recall the smallest details of that fateful day, the yells of her family, the final sounds of her grandmother. Even though a few months have passed, my sister-friend remains close to that day and understandably so.
There are a few tough days that I too, remain close to. The day my car was rear ended and spun out of control on I-495, my mother’s very last words to me on her death-bed, the day my elderly grandmother fell on her walker as we strolled through the park. Those are painful, excruciating moments for me that have the aptitude to leave me depressed when I dwell on them. As I told my friend, honing on those days will leave us crippled and emotionally challenged. The enemy’s greatest playground is our minds.
We all have those moments in our lives. Flashbacks that we simply cannot forget. Remembrances that are forever etched in our spirits. Sometimes as minuscule as the name of our first pet, sometimes extremely painful, like how we have lost our loved ones. Even if we share them with others, there are particular details of our lives and hurts in our hearts that only we can recall. There are places in our minds that have the ability to leave us crippled if we are not intentional about giving them over to God in serious prayer. The truth is, life is hard. The greater truth is, with God, we are able to do life. If you are having a hard time moving past a painful time, I encourage you to lift up this prayer:
Dear God,
Thank You for being a mind regulator and heart stabilizer. I don’t know how to get through life without you. I’m so grateful that I don’t have to do life alone. As I continue to live and sometimes feel the hurt and sting of life’s painful moments, I thank You for being my Present Help. Lord, I pray that You help me to move beyond my hurtful places. Help me to accept what was so I can live with what is. I pray that You substitute my sadness and all the memories of my hardest days and replace them with Your unspeakable peace and never ending joy.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
January 26, 2016
Reflections from Blizzard of 2016
I’m from New York. I’ve lived there for twenty-somewhat years. It’s the city that never sleeps. Never stops. For better or for worse, that’s ingrained in me. So though, I’ve been living in the sanctity of peaceful Maryland for the last 4.5 years, that New- York- work-now-rest-never spirit still lives in me. And I’m working on it. I’m working on it because for most of my adult life (and I’m only 26) I have silently struggled with anxiety and hypertension. My mental and physical well-being depends on me finding rest often and consistently. I’m working on it.
I work a full time job at a high school, and often times working a full time teaching load between The University of Maryland, Prince George's Community College, and Montgomery Community College. I’m at work at 7:30 am, and usually just getting in about 9:30 pm (on a good day). I work long days, often 6 days a week. On top of that, I have recently written and released my first book (“The Last Pew: Journeying Back to God’s Will After an Affair). Yes. Shameless plug. I’ve been busy. And I’ve been very tired. The last few months, I really realized how I have been at work and at church and everywhere else, but I haven’t shown up. I have been meeting my responsibilities, but I haven’t really been showing up.
Have you been there? Where you feel more like a robot, than fully human? Where your to-do list (in your mind) is running so rampant that you’re just trying to survive what is demanded of you, rather than really truly living?
So, I have found myself praying...for some time...a vacation..a break...a change in scenery...something. But silently, I’ve been praying for the day where I can be a full-time momma, and full time wife, first and foremost. Be a home-maker. Yes, that’s right. A home-maker. This chic still wants that old school thing. While writing and ministering, maybe teaching an English class here and there. And travel the world. I want to do that for a few years. That is my quiet dream.
Then the Blizzard of 2016 hit. And Maryland, literally SHUT DOWN. And the New Yorker in me was like: “well...haven’t you all seen snow before?! We’ve got to keep it pushin’.” I’ve been out of work for 7 days now and it has been MIRACULOUS. I won’t complain. Just the idea of going to bed super late to a Lifetime movie, and waking up super late, after the sun, excites me. The notion of having my morning coffee to- stay as I read my morning devotionals, as opposed to having my lukewarm coffee, to-go does something for me. The idea that my schedule is literally empty and I can do whatever the heck I want, is gratifying. So I have been finding myself on my yoga mat, on a treadmill, on my couch (mostly), writing/lesson planning at my desk, and in my kitchen whipping things that I never carved enough time out to make. It’s been nice.
In this break, God answered my prayers, in the way He saw fit, and in a way that I had not imagined. God is like that.
But about Day 2 of my snowy staycation, something started to happen in my mind. I began to get really restless. And feeling unproductive. Almost feeling like I’m not doing anything well because I am not “working.” I had to fight off the permanent New Yorker in me that always whispers to me that “if I am not working myself to death, I am not doing anything in life.” So consciously, I fought her off and began to reflect as I was forcing myself to be still…
In being still, I meditated on one word: growth. I thought about the life that I hope to build with a big family one day. And the life I have built out here by myself. It’s been fascinating. I meditated on how I’ve grown from having roommates, to housemates, to just me. It’s been nice. I thought about how much I rejoiced as I purchased each. piece. of. furniture month by month until I had a fully furnished home last year. That literally took a year. The growth, I appreciate. The building, the step-by-step, prayer-lifted, prayer-answered journey has been rewarding.
Then I thought about when I purchased my first car on my own. It was a grey 2012 Honda Civic. I walked into the dealer literally not caring what kind of car I bought. Totally indifferent. (I’m sure I was an easy customer). I just needed something that worked. I had no specific requirements. No pressing need to test drive or have a mechanic check it out. I didn’t care if it was a two door or four. I didn’t care if it had leather seats or not. I just needed something that got me around. Because that’s where I was in my life. And I was content with just that. As long as I could make the monthly payments, it didn’t matter how much I was paying in interests. That’s just where I was.
I thought about how I furnished the rooms and apartments that I shared with other people over the last few years. In the past, I didn’t care if my furniture matched or not. Or if my bed-sets were complete. As long as my space was clean and I had a place to lay my head, I was good. I was content. Because that’s just where I was in my life at that point. And that was okay.
Oh, but growth.
Now, it matters. This summer, I walked into the dealership and said. I need a white car. Four door. Leather seats. Bluetooth. Sun roof. Back up camera. Oh. And I’m not paying over x amount in monthly payments. I knew what I wanted. And I got what I prayed for. It wasn’t about being materialistic. I am suchhhh a simple gal that I have to consciously tell myself, “Soph: it’s okay to want nicer things.” This place in my life, I am conditioning myself to think higher. To want more for myself. To receive what I put out. To no longer deal with mediocrity or be satisfied that something works for me. It’s okay to seek out better.
Last January. This home. This time around. I said...I need to live closer to work. I need a spot with a gym and a pool. I want an all white bedroom with a bookcase as a headboard. I’m ditching my old school-big-back-television- set and getting a flat screen. I need a tub for my hot lavender baths. And a spacious kitchen to learn and play in. I knew what I wanted. And I got precisely what I prayed for.
Full-time momma, and full time wife, first and foremost. Be a home-maker. While writing and ministering, maybe teaching an English class here and there. While traveling the world. But this. Why is this my “quiet prayer” and my “quiet dream?” Is it because it may sound ludicrous and bizarre to some? Is it because I don’t have enough faith in actually obtaining this life? Is it because I am so close to this life that it scares me? Or is it because I have absolutely no clue on how I should go about getting this life? Perhaps a little bit of all the above? Why is it that we confidently pray about the THINGS we want, but we shyly pray about the LIFE we want? Hmm… I know exactly the life I want and envision. So many blessings I have received, have been blessings that I have claimed and prayed loudly about. So here it goes...
Dear God,
Thank you for being a God that hears our wildest dreams. And make them come true, according to Your will. I don’t want a lukewarm life. I want a life where I get to touch every single huge and tiny thing that You have for me. Help me to be courageous enough to pray specific, wild, lavish, loud, vivid prayers. I pray that You order my steps in such a way that brings me closer to the life I want. I want the love, the husband, the children, the home, the career, ministry, and the capacity to see the world that You have made. You can do all things. So I can have all things through You.
In Jesus’ name I pray.
Amen.
I work a full time job at a high school, and often times working a full time teaching load between The University of Maryland, Prince George's Community College, and Montgomery Community College. I’m at work at 7:30 am, and usually just getting in about 9:30 pm (on a good day). I work long days, often 6 days a week. On top of that, I have recently written and released my first book (“The Last Pew: Journeying Back to God’s Will After an Affair). Yes. Shameless plug. I’ve been busy. And I’ve been very tired. The last few months, I really realized how I have been at work and at church and everywhere else, but I haven’t shown up. I have been meeting my responsibilities, but I haven’t really been showing up.
Have you been there? Where you feel more like a robot, than fully human? Where your to-do list (in your mind) is running so rampant that you’re just trying to survive what is demanded of you, rather than really truly living?
So, I have found myself praying...for some time...a vacation..a break...a change in scenery...something. But silently, I’ve been praying for the day where I can be a full-time momma, and full time wife, first and foremost. Be a home-maker. Yes, that’s right. A home-maker. This chic still wants that old school thing. While writing and ministering, maybe teaching an English class here and there. And travel the world. I want to do that for a few years. That is my quiet dream.
Then the Blizzard of 2016 hit. And Maryland, literally SHUT DOWN. And the New Yorker in me was like: “well...haven’t you all seen snow before?! We’ve got to keep it pushin’.” I’ve been out of work for 7 days now and it has been MIRACULOUS. I won’t complain. Just the idea of going to bed super late to a Lifetime movie, and waking up super late, after the sun, excites me. The notion of having my morning coffee to- stay as I read my morning devotionals, as opposed to having my lukewarm coffee, to-go does something for me. The idea that my schedule is literally empty and I can do whatever the heck I want, is gratifying. So I have been finding myself on my yoga mat, on a treadmill, on my couch (mostly), writing/lesson planning at my desk, and in my kitchen whipping things that I never carved enough time out to make. It’s been nice.
In this break, God answered my prayers, in the way He saw fit, and in a way that I had not imagined. God is like that.
But about Day 2 of my snowy staycation, something started to happen in my mind. I began to get really restless. And feeling unproductive. Almost feeling like I’m not doing anything well because I am not “working.” I had to fight off the permanent New Yorker in me that always whispers to me that “if I am not working myself to death, I am not doing anything in life.” So consciously, I fought her off and began to reflect as I was forcing myself to be still…
In being still, I meditated on one word: growth. I thought about the life that I hope to build with a big family one day. And the life I have built out here by myself. It’s been fascinating. I meditated on how I’ve grown from having roommates, to housemates, to just me. It’s been nice. I thought about how much I rejoiced as I purchased each. piece. of. furniture month by month until I had a fully furnished home last year. That literally took a year. The growth, I appreciate. The building, the step-by-step, prayer-lifted, prayer-answered journey has been rewarding.
Then I thought about when I purchased my first car on my own. It was a grey 2012 Honda Civic. I walked into the dealer literally not caring what kind of car I bought. Totally indifferent. (I’m sure I was an easy customer). I just needed something that worked. I had no specific requirements. No pressing need to test drive or have a mechanic check it out. I didn’t care if it was a two door or four. I didn’t care if it had leather seats or not. I just needed something that got me around. Because that’s where I was in my life. And I was content with just that. As long as I could make the monthly payments, it didn’t matter how much I was paying in interests. That’s just where I was.
I thought about how I furnished the rooms and apartments that I shared with other people over the last few years. In the past, I didn’t care if my furniture matched or not. Or if my bed-sets were complete. As long as my space was clean and I had a place to lay my head, I was good. I was content. Because that’s just where I was in my life at that point. And that was okay.
Oh, but growth.
Now, it matters. This summer, I walked into the dealership and said. I need a white car. Four door. Leather seats. Bluetooth. Sun roof. Back up camera. Oh. And I’m not paying over x amount in monthly payments. I knew what I wanted. And I got what I prayed for. It wasn’t about being materialistic. I am suchhhh a simple gal that I have to consciously tell myself, “Soph: it’s okay to want nicer things.” This place in my life, I am conditioning myself to think higher. To want more for myself. To receive what I put out. To no longer deal with mediocrity or be satisfied that something works for me. It’s okay to seek out better.
Last January. This home. This time around. I said...I need to live closer to work. I need a spot with a gym and a pool. I want an all white bedroom with a bookcase as a headboard. I’m ditching my old school-big-back-television- set and getting a flat screen. I need a tub for my hot lavender baths. And a spacious kitchen to learn and play in. I knew what I wanted. And I got precisely what I prayed for.
Full-time momma, and full time wife, first and foremost. Be a home-maker. While writing and ministering, maybe teaching an English class here and there. While traveling the world. But this. Why is this my “quiet prayer” and my “quiet dream?” Is it because it may sound ludicrous and bizarre to some? Is it because I don’t have enough faith in actually obtaining this life? Is it because I am so close to this life that it scares me? Or is it because I have absolutely no clue on how I should go about getting this life? Perhaps a little bit of all the above? Why is it that we confidently pray about the THINGS we want, but we shyly pray about the LIFE we want? Hmm… I know exactly the life I want and envision. So many blessings I have received, have been blessings that I have claimed and prayed loudly about. So here it goes...
Dear God,
Thank you for being a God that hears our wildest dreams. And make them come true, according to Your will. I don’t want a lukewarm life. I want a life where I get to touch every single huge and tiny thing that You have for me. Help me to be courageous enough to pray specific, wild, lavish, loud, vivid prayers. I pray that You order my steps in such a way that brings me closer to the life I want. I want the love, the husband, the children, the home, the career, ministry, and the capacity to see the world that You have made. You can do all things. So I can have all things through You.
In Jesus’ name I pray.
Amen.
January 14, 2016
Cyber Comparison Complex
If you’re anything like me, social media can more often than not lure you in. Before we know it, we have spent a good portion of our days (and nights) aimlessly scrolling through Newsfeeds and Timelines. We have mindlessly “liked” stories that frequently have little to do with our real lives and “commented” on things that only get us distracted, frustrated, or even envious. If you’re anything like me, you have had to take mental breaks from social media or even fast from social media because of the great distraction it presents. Personally, I struggle with what I deem the “Cyber Comparison Complex”. When I’m feeling particularly not- so-emotionally/spiritually- well, social media subconsciously becomes my playground for beating myself up. It becomes the arena in which I silently say to myself, “I wish I could find a love like that”, or “I would do anything to be on that beach that she’s on”, or “I hope one day soon I can post photos of my toddler”, or “she seems so fulfilled in her ministry….”
Social media is a place where many people flaunt. Social media is also a space where too many people fake. They fake their happiness, their kindness, their relationships, amongst other things. Of course, social media can be a powerful tool when used correctly and for the right reasons. But too often, social media fills up pockets that we can be spending with God or with ourselves. It’s not until I make an intentional decision to sign off from all my accounts, do I realize how much “free time” I have opened myself up to. Free time to read some scripture, or read a moving devotion, or check- in on my loved ones. Social media is so rampant in part because we do not want or know how to spend time alone, in silence, in solitude, with God. We have lost sight of that. We are afraid to be alone with our thoughts. So we fill up idle moments, from the time that we wake up to the time that we drift off to sleep, with a quick glance at someone else’s life.
Yesterday, I was at my desk at work. It was nearing the end of the work day and I was restless and in want of something sweet. I was led to a photo of a big, healthy, homemade parfait. With all my favorite fruits: strawberries, mangos, and bananas, topped off with granola. Immediately, I thought: “that looks divine! I would love to have that right now!” Moments later, it dawned on me that I had the very same parfait in my fridge at work. I had placed it in there the morning before and totally forgot!
That’s what social media does to us. That’s how the enemy functions. They make us discount the very things God has placed in us by gently pushing us to focus on what other people have. Everything that we feel and do, begins in the mind first. And when we are constantly conditioned to place our mind on other people, instead of God and the blessings He has poured into our own lives, we give the enemy a footstool and we truly lose sight of the awesome lives that we are already living.
So today, I challenge us to spend less time focusing on the external world and more time celebrating what God is already doing in our own lives. Let’s refocus and recalibrate today by lifting up this prayer.
Lord, I thank You for all the goodness You have already placed in my life. Forgive me when I make You feel as though the blessings that You have bestowed on me are not good enough. God, I pray for focus and mental discipline today. Anything that comes to distract me from You, I pray that you give me the strength and grace to limit it. Thank You for this beautiful life that You have chosen for me.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
Social media is a place where many people flaunt. Social media is also a space where too many people fake. They fake their happiness, their kindness, their relationships, amongst other things. Of course, social media can be a powerful tool when used correctly and for the right reasons. But too often, social media fills up pockets that we can be spending with God or with ourselves. It’s not until I make an intentional decision to sign off from all my accounts, do I realize how much “free time” I have opened myself up to. Free time to read some scripture, or read a moving devotion, or check- in on my loved ones. Social media is so rampant in part because we do not want or know how to spend time alone, in silence, in solitude, with God. We have lost sight of that. We are afraid to be alone with our thoughts. So we fill up idle moments, from the time that we wake up to the time that we drift off to sleep, with a quick glance at someone else’s life.
Yesterday, I was at my desk at work. It was nearing the end of the work day and I was restless and in want of something sweet. I was led to a photo of a big, healthy, homemade parfait. With all my favorite fruits: strawberries, mangos, and bananas, topped off with granola. Immediately, I thought: “that looks divine! I would love to have that right now!” Moments later, it dawned on me that I had the very same parfait in my fridge at work. I had placed it in there the morning before and totally forgot!
That’s what social media does to us. That’s how the enemy functions. They make us discount the very things God has placed in us by gently pushing us to focus on what other people have. Everything that we feel and do, begins in the mind first. And when we are constantly conditioned to place our mind on other people, instead of God and the blessings He has poured into our own lives, we give the enemy a footstool and we truly lose sight of the awesome lives that we are already living.
So today, I challenge us to spend less time focusing on the external world and more time celebrating what God is already doing in our own lives. Let’s refocus and recalibrate today by lifting up this prayer.
Lord, I thank You for all the goodness You have already placed in my life. Forgive me when I make You feel as though the blessings that You have bestowed on me are not good enough. God, I pray for focus and mental discipline today. Anything that comes to distract me from You, I pray that you give me the strength and grace to limit it. Thank You for this beautiful life that You have chosen for me.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
November 20, 2015
Thanksgiving Prayer
If you are anything like me, the Holidays bring an influx of emotions. Emotions that have neatly stayed tucked away somewhere in our spirits and come protruding out of us at the first mention of “Jingle Bells” or the first sight of a nicely decorated Thanksgiving table. If you are anything like me, the Holidays brings you a sense of mourning. Mourning a loved one who once was the figure who brought the family together for the holiday, and since has passed on. My late mother was that person in our family. She often had the Christmas Tree up and decorated well before Thanksgiving dinner and brought such joy to both me and the festive season.
Perhaps you are mourning the sense of family that has been lost throughout the years. I am in mourning for my family too. I find that mourning the sense of family can be as difficult, if not more so, than mourning an actual loss of a person in the family. Last year, as I said the Thanksgiving prayer– as I traditionally do, I was so overcome with sadness. I’m not sure anyone at the table noticed. And if they noticed my emotion, they probably chalked it up to the wrong reason. The day after Thanksgiving, my cousin caught me profusely crying in the bathroom. He tried to understand me through my muffled words and sobs, but still even now, he probably doesn’t understand the magnitude of my hurt.
I was so overcome with emotion last year and so many other years, because I was seated around the people I have known the longest and loved the hardest and felt like a stranger. I was overcome because I felt like we were all saying that we were grateful for one another, but so many of us had failed to demonstrate that love and thanksgiving. I was overcome because I remember what my family used to be and I saw how far we slipped away from that. It felt like I was the only one burdened with and aware of that loss.
So this year, in an effort to not deal with the emotion and the inner-drama, I decided that I was going to isolate myself for the Holidays, as I have done before. And the voice of God said to me, “but who’s going to pray?”. I heeded to that voice.
I have often found myself wanting to be the “savior” for my family…the woman who fixes the problem and fixes the people. The one who somehow makes us all love one another correctly again. But, I’m realizing more and more that I cannot allow God to be God, if I am busy trying to play His role. I need to consciously step aside so He can deal with us. The best gift I can give my family this season and any season, is my sincere heartfelt prayer. Let my prayer be yours too.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the abundance that you have bestowed upon my family. I give You thanks for an abundance of food, love, and time. I pray that You bring healing and restoration back to my family. I pray that you work through hearts like only You can. I pray that you remove anything that does not look like You in my family. I pray for the spirit of envy, selfishness, meanness, and anger to flee. Anything that does not look, sound, feel, or love like You, I command it to flee away from me & my loved ones.
I pray that you move in such a way that brings back the value of family back to us. Lord, I pray that you create in us clean and new hearts that are willing to serve one another first, before we serve ourselves. Teach us sacrificial love. I pray that we stop taking one another for granted and depending on tomorrow to do something kind today.
God, I pray that the young generation doesn’t follow our misguided and broken example of love. I pray that You show us the right way to love. I pray that You soften hardened hearts and teach us how to love one another the correct way, the way that You love us and Your church.
Lord, I pray that You help me to love them in spite of them. I pray that You help my unbelief that keeps me up at night sometimes. I pray that this time next year, we are not merely saying that we are thankful for one another. I pray that we have demonstrated that thanksgiving and that love to one another all year round.
Thank You for calling me to be a prayer warrior for this family that you have born me into. I pray that you make all things new. And that You lift us to love in higher heights. I thank You for grace. Thank you for being the One that consistently demonstrates real, unconditional, never wavering love. May You continue to work in me, so that I can be the Jesus that my family is forced to see even when they opt not to seek You. We will be healed. We will know love again.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
Perhaps you are mourning the sense of family that has been lost throughout the years. I am in mourning for my family too. I find that mourning the sense of family can be as difficult, if not more so, than mourning an actual loss of a person in the family. Last year, as I said the Thanksgiving prayer– as I traditionally do, I was so overcome with sadness. I’m not sure anyone at the table noticed. And if they noticed my emotion, they probably chalked it up to the wrong reason. The day after Thanksgiving, my cousin caught me profusely crying in the bathroom. He tried to understand me through my muffled words and sobs, but still even now, he probably doesn’t understand the magnitude of my hurt.
I was so overcome with emotion last year and so many other years, because I was seated around the people I have known the longest and loved the hardest and felt like a stranger. I was overcome because I felt like we were all saying that we were grateful for one another, but so many of us had failed to demonstrate that love and thanksgiving. I was overcome because I remember what my family used to be and I saw how far we slipped away from that. It felt like I was the only one burdened with and aware of that loss.
So this year, in an effort to not deal with the emotion and the inner-drama, I decided that I was going to isolate myself for the Holidays, as I have done before. And the voice of God said to me, “but who’s going to pray?”. I heeded to that voice.
I have often found myself wanting to be the “savior” for my family…the woman who fixes the problem and fixes the people. The one who somehow makes us all love one another correctly again. But, I’m realizing more and more that I cannot allow God to be God, if I am busy trying to play His role. I need to consciously step aside so He can deal with us. The best gift I can give my family this season and any season, is my sincere heartfelt prayer. Let my prayer be yours too.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the abundance that you have bestowed upon my family. I give You thanks for an abundance of food, love, and time. I pray that You bring healing and restoration back to my family. I pray that you work through hearts like only You can. I pray that you remove anything that does not look like You in my family. I pray for the spirit of envy, selfishness, meanness, and anger to flee. Anything that does not look, sound, feel, or love like You, I command it to flee away from me & my loved ones.
I pray that you move in such a way that brings back the value of family back to us. Lord, I pray that you create in us clean and new hearts that are willing to serve one another first, before we serve ourselves. Teach us sacrificial love. I pray that we stop taking one another for granted and depending on tomorrow to do something kind today.
God, I pray that the young generation doesn’t follow our misguided and broken example of love. I pray that You show us the right way to love. I pray that You soften hardened hearts and teach us how to love one another the correct way, the way that You love us and Your church.
Lord, I pray that You help me to love them in spite of them. I pray that You help my unbelief that keeps me up at night sometimes. I pray that this time next year, we are not merely saying that we are thankful for one another. I pray that we have demonstrated that thanksgiving and that love to one another all year round.
Thank You for calling me to be a prayer warrior for this family that you have born me into. I pray that you make all things new. And that You lift us to love in higher heights. I thank You for grace. Thank you for being the One that consistently demonstrates real, unconditional, never wavering love. May You continue to work in me, so that I can be the Jesus that my family is forced to see even when they opt not to seek You. We will be healed. We will know love again.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen.
November 17, 2015
Ministry
Perhaps one day, if it's God's Will, I will be ministering to thousands of women in some church, discipleship class, or seminar. That is my dream. I see it before I see it.
But for right now, because of God's Will, my ministry looks a lot like this... gentle whispers from old friends and new ones that gently say, "Thank you for writing this book. I needed it" or "you were me" or "let's grab coffee or dinner so I can speak to someone who understands" or "I've never been through that, but somehow I understand every feeling you expressed".
Here I thought, my ministry was exclusively for strangers unknown to me. Nope. This ministry is for so many people I know and love that I never knew was going through the same ordeal that they never knew I was going through. God is so cool like that.
I am so-so proud yet so-so humbled to have been chosen to birth this Kingdom Best-Seller. "The Last Pew: Journeying Back to God's Will After an Affair" is doing everything God told me she would. I am so grateful for all your love and all of you fervently rooting for me. But most of all, for being brave enough to share your own delicate testimonies with me.Thank you for giving #tlp a chance and trusting me. Journeying Back to God's Will has been epic. I pray that it is for you too.
But for right now, because of God's Will, my ministry looks a lot like this... gentle whispers from old friends and new ones that gently say, "Thank you for writing this book. I needed it" or "you were me" or "let's grab coffee or dinner so I can speak to someone who understands" or "I've never been through that, but somehow I understand every feeling you expressed".
Here I thought, my ministry was exclusively for strangers unknown to me. Nope. This ministry is for so many people I know and love that I never knew was going through the same ordeal that they never knew I was going through. God is so cool like that.
I am so-so proud yet so-so humbled to have been chosen to birth this Kingdom Best-Seller. "The Last Pew: Journeying Back to God's Will After an Affair" is doing everything God told me she would. I am so grateful for all your love and all of you fervently rooting for me. But most of all, for being brave enough to share your own delicate testimonies with me.Thank you for giving #tlp a chance and trusting me. Journeying Back to God's Will has been epic. I pray that it is for you too.
November 5, 2015
I'm Spiritual, Not Religious
Though people say this for their own reasons. It often deeply saddens me when I hear, “I’m Spiritual but not Religious.” To me, people say this in part because though they have a relationship with God, they want nothing or little to do with the Church. First of all, we ARE the Church. And frequently, people are misguided in thinking that Church is merely the infrastructure or the place they go to on Sundays. That is incorrect. On the other hand, though it saddens me, I really do understand why people who know God have reservations about the Church. It is because unfortunately, at times, so much foul play and rejection inhabit the church. I have personally been experiencing that as of late. I wrote a book for the Church. The book is about a secret ill that is ravishing through the church: Adultery in the Pulpit and the Pews. My assignment is to fill the gap in literature and discussion about this issue within the Church. My book is intended for a specific audience—the body of Christ, particularly Church-goers. And that audience, for the most part, completely dismissed me, ignored me, fail to return calls and emails, and dodged me in my Church halls. Interestingly enough, it was the non-church goers, or the “Spiritual people”, who more warmly welcomed my message. Will that allow me to leave the Church? Of course not.
I am a Christian that understands the difference between being Spiritual and Religious and choose to embrace both. I am both. I do both. I live both walks. I will never let the wrong-doings in the Church make me just dismiss that sector of life. Yes, I speak to God all day. That’s the Spiritual part of me. And yes, I go to Church every Sunday. That is the religious part of me. They are not divorced from one another.
Is the Church perfect? Absolutely not. It never was intended to be, because WE make up the Church and WE are the church. Because we are inherently flawed and sinful people, we will never create perfection—that’s Jesus’ job. But we can still strive for it—that is our job as believers. We can be intentional about taking care of God’s house and His people; many of us are guilty of not doing that to the best of our abilities.
I compare going to Church with attending college. Can you receive a solid college education and obtain an amazing degree without ever stepping foot into a classroom? Absolutely. With the advent of online courses, this is made possible. But to me, I pose, how much more fulfilling, and interactive, and fruitful for you would it be if you had a regular covering that you stepped into weekly? Where you learned with others who believed what you were learning, where you were able to ask questions that you could not answer by your own strength, where you were merely able to hear other people who are going through your same experience? Yes, you can have a solid relationship with God without going to Church, but I believe, the covering from a Godly Pastor and the practice of learning from other believers intrinsically grows your walk with Christ.
This morning I was led to John 13:35, where Jesus says, “By this all will know that you are my My disciples, if you have love for one another.” This is what it comes down to. This is what we are called to do. We are called to be Love. As my Church’s vision and mission statement reads: Developing Dynamic Disciples Through Discipleship, Discipline, and Duplication.” If we did a better job as the body of Christ to simply love one another right, we would have far less people wanting to dissociate from the Church. And the notion of being “Religious” would no longer have the negative connotation that it frequently holds now.
So yes, I understand why some would want to be Spiritual and not Religious, but as a Church body, let’s remedy the ills in our pulpits and our pews so that being Spiritual and Religious can rightfully go hand-in-hand.
I am a Christian that understands the difference between being Spiritual and Religious and choose to embrace both. I am both. I do both. I live both walks. I will never let the wrong-doings in the Church make me just dismiss that sector of life. Yes, I speak to God all day. That’s the Spiritual part of me. And yes, I go to Church every Sunday. That is the religious part of me. They are not divorced from one another.
Is the Church perfect? Absolutely not. It never was intended to be, because WE make up the Church and WE are the church. Because we are inherently flawed and sinful people, we will never create perfection—that’s Jesus’ job. But we can still strive for it—that is our job as believers. We can be intentional about taking care of God’s house and His people; many of us are guilty of not doing that to the best of our abilities.
I compare going to Church with attending college. Can you receive a solid college education and obtain an amazing degree without ever stepping foot into a classroom? Absolutely. With the advent of online courses, this is made possible. But to me, I pose, how much more fulfilling, and interactive, and fruitful for you would it be if you had a regular covering that you stepped into weekly? Where you learned with others who believed what you were learning, where you were able to ask questions that you could not answer by your own strength, where you were merely able to hear other people who are going through your same experience? Yes, you can have a solid relationship with God without going to Church, but I believe, the covering from a Godly Pastor and the practice of learning from other believers intrinsically grows your walk with Christ.
This morning I was led to John 13:35, where Jesus says, “By this all will know that you are my My disciples, if you have love for one another.” This is what it comes down to. This is what we are called to do. We are called to be Love. As my Church’s vision and mission statement reads: Developing Dynamic Disciples Through Discipleship, Discipline, and Duplication.” If we did a better job as the body of Christ to simply love one another right, we would have far less people wanting to dissociate from the Church. And the notion of being “Religious” would no longer have the negative connotation that it frequently holds now.
So yes, I understand why some would want to be Spiritual and not Religious, but as a Church body, let’s remedy the ills in our pulpits and our pews so that being Spiritual and Religious can rightfully go hand-in-hand.
November 2, 2015
The Spirit of Fear
I was traveling back home to New York for the weekend. As I was getting on the bus, everyone was doing what we all tend to typically do on public transportation. We were all scoping the scene to see where and if we could possibly get a seat with no one next to us. It was a Friday morning and a packed bus. I placed my luggage down and waited for the bus to depart. As we were all waiting to depart into our four hour journey, the bus driver and attendants stood outside to see if there were any straggling passengers.
All of a sudden a man began screaming and hollering on the bus! What he was screaming remained unclear and incomprehensible, but as he got more and more irate, he certainly alarmed the passengers, particularly me. He was not yelling at anyone in particular, which made it all the more scarier. He was just going off by himself, which I'm sure allowed people to think that perhaps he was struggling with some sort of mental illness. He just snapped. His outbursts got more and more volatile.
The men looked disheveled and frail. He was getting louder and louder and everyone continued to get more and more uncomfortable. We all continued to look around at each other, unknowing exactly what we should do. People started getting up, but everyone was afraid to make any sudden movements, because we were just unsure of what this man was capable of. He continued screaming and cursing and so I got up.
I began knocking on the bus doors which were locked from the inside. The bus attendants came and opened the door. They asked me what was wrong and I told them that there was a man on the bus that was uncontrollable. They came and talked to the man and told him that if he had any outbursts, that he would be removed from the bus. He settled down.
As I walked back on the bus, I was met with many whispers and moving lips that gently said “thank you.” I nodded my head to everyone who gave me a thumbs up and a smile. A young man who was sitting across from me said to me, “with all the people on this bus, someone had to say something. Thank you for saying something.”
I smiled at him too. But little did everyone know that I was literally shaking when I got back on that bus. When I opted to notify the bus attendants about this man, I didn't know whether or not I would become a target for that unruly man, once I got up. I didn't get up because I was brave, like most of those passengers assumed. I got up because I was so afraid.
Sometimes people in our lives see that we have gotten up, answered that call, began that ministry, wrote that book--and they assume it's because we are innately strong and void of fear. But really, many times God calls us to move in our fear and in spite of our fear. God didn't give us a spirit of fear. Yet, many of us still operate in fear. Fear is not God-given, but it is still a reality for many of us on many days. We are not called to make the next move, once we are feeling courageous. What we fail to realize is that many times God is calling us to tap into His strength that resides in us to deal with moments that produce fear and anxiety. Even when we don’t feel strong, we must remember that we are strong simply because He dwells in us.
So whatever God is calling you to face this week, know that He maybe requiring you to answer it while your palm is sweaty and your hands are trembling. But more importantly, so many other people, unbeknownst to you, are looking to you to make the first move. Our walk is our example. Walk accordingly.
All of a sudden a man began screaming and hollering on the bus! What he was screaming remained unclear and incomprehensible, but as he got more and more irate, he certainly alarmed the passengers, particularly me. He was not yelling at anyone in particular, which made it all the more scarier. He was just going off by himself, which I'm sure allowed people to think that perhaps he was struggling with some sort of mental illness. He just snapped. His outbursts got more and more volatile.
The men looked disheveled and frail. He was getting louder and louder and everyone continued to get more and more uncomfortable. We all continued to look around at each other, unknowing exactly what we should do. People started getting up, but everyone was afraid to make any sudden movements, because we were just unsure of what this man was capable of. He continued screaming and cursing and so I got up.
I began knocking on the bus doors which were locked from the inside. The bus attendants came and opened the door. They asked me what was wrong and I told them that there was a man on the bus that was uncontrollable. They came and talked to the man and told him that if he had any outbursts, that he would be removed from the bus. He settled down.
As I walked back on the bus, I was met with many whispers and moving lips that gently said “thank you.” I nodded my head to everyone who gave me a thumbs up and a smile. A young man who was sitting across from me said to me, “with all the people on this bus, someone had to say something. Thank you for saying something.”
I smiled at him too. But little did everyone know that I was literally shaking when I got back on that bus. When I opted to notify the bus attendants about this man, I didn't know whether or not I would become a target for that unruly man, once I got up. I didn't get up because I was brave, like most of those passengers assumed. I got up because I was so afraid.
Sometimes people in our lives see that we have gotten up, answered that call, began that ministry, wrote that book--and they assume it's because we are innately strong and void of fear. But really, many times God calls us to move in our fear and in spite of our fear. God didn't give us a spirit of fear. Yet, many of us still operate in fear. Fear is not God-given, but it is still a reality for many of us on many days. We are not called to make the next move, once we are feeling courageous. What we fail to realize is that many times God is calling us to tap into His strength that resides in us to deal with moments that produce fear and anxiety. Even when we don’t feel strong, we must remember that we are strong simply because He dwells in us.
So whatever God is calling you to face this week, know that He maybe requiring you to answer it while your palm is sweaty and your hands are trembling. But more importantly, so many other people, unbeknownst to you, are looking to you to make the first move. Our walk is our example. Walk accordingly.
October 27, 2015
Peace, Be Still
Recently, as I was walking to my car from work, a random thought came to me. I had a thought about the most “valuable thing” in my life. Not the most valuable lesson or person in my life. But a tangible item that is of tremendous value to me. And I thought, “Yes. My Flash Drive.” My Flash Drive or USB has years of saved worked on it. It has many copies of my old manuscripts that is now a book, about six semesters worth of Syllabis for my college student, my updated resumes, and other significant pieces of work, photographs, and documents that I have cultivated throughout the years. My Flash Drive makes my life and work a tad bit easier, organized, and planned out. And then on Saturday night, only a few days after having this initial thought about “my most valuable thing”, I inserted my beloved Flash Drive into my computer, as I do routinely throughout my days, and an error message popped up, “Device Unrecognized.” Nothing, I did would allow me to recover the data on that precious three inch Flash Drive.
Then, my feelings quickly turned from, “okay, Soph, it’s going to work out..it’s got to work”, to annoyance, then to upset. Upset at myself. If the things on that Flash Drive were so important to me, why didn’t I have the sense and diligence to backup those files into a safe place? I was frustrated at myself for not doing the responsible thing with the very thing that I claimed was of value to me. I placed so much faith in both myself and this Flash Drive. I knew I would never forget it anywhere because I was adamant about triple checking for this Flash Drive before leaving my office or classroom. I also placed much faith onto the actual Flash Drive, thinking that it would or could never malfunction on me.
We treat many parts of our lives, particularly our relationships, like my Flash Drive. We pour so much into our loved ones, our bank accounts, our “things”, sometimes with the notion that they will never fail us. That they will always work. That we can have complete faith in them. Sometimes the very things that are of significance, convenience, and importance to us simply stop working on us. That is life. That is when our faith needs to be activated. And frequently, they stop working on us, because we never backed them up into our safe space-- we never gave those things over to God in prayer.
I brought my Flash Drive to a repair shop and once the first technician was unable to repair it, he told me he would try to have another technician look at it. As I waited a few days for a response, I had a decision to make. I could either let the final response of the second technician either make or break my spirit. Or, I could make peace with the possibility that I may not recover all that I had lost in this situation. I realized that once I made peace with the fact that I may not redeem all that was lost, I immediately felt lighter. And I could forgive myself for my poor choice.
A lot of us beat ourselves up spiritually for some of the decisions that we make or don’t make; this is what we deem, “spiritual violence”. We see the loved one walking away, or the bank account overdrawn, or the marriage not working and we can’t fathom how something that we put so much work into, is seemingly failing us. Those moments must show us what peace is. Peace is not simply being relaxed on a warm sandy beach with loved ones. Peace is understanding, no matter what comes or what goes, or what you lose or what you recover, that you still have the capacity to be well. Some of us have lost something this week and need peace about it, if that is you, I encourage you to lift up this simple prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for peace. I know that anything or anyone that you remove from my life is for a purpose. I command for my Peace to be Still. No matter what I lose, or what I recover, I am convinced that you are an intentional God. I know that it is all working for my good. Thank you for that.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen
Then, my feelings quickly turned from, “okay, Soph, it’s going to work out..it’s got to work”, to annoyance, then to upset. Upset at myself. If the things on that Flash Drive were so important to me, why didn’t I have the sense and diligence to backup those files into a safe place? I was frustrated at myself for not doing the responsible thing with the very thing that I claimed was of value to me. I placed so much faith in both myself and this Flash Drive. I knew I would never forget it anywhere because I was adamant about triple checking for this Flash Drive before leaving my office or classroom. I also placed much faith onto the actual Flash Drive, thinking that it would or could never malfunction on me.
We treat many parts of our lives, particularly our relationships, like my Flash Drive. We pour so much into our loved ones, our bank accounts, our “things”, sometimes with the notion that they will never fail us. That they will always work. That we can have complete faith in them. Sometimes the very things that are of significance, convenience, and importance to us simply stop working on us. That is life. That is when our faith needs to be activated. And frequently, they stop working on us, because we never backed them up into our safe space-- we never gave those things over to God in prayer.
I brought my Flash Drive to a repair shop and once the first technician was unable to repair it, he told me he would try to have another technician look at it. As I waited a few days for a response, I had a decision to make. I could either let the final response of the second technician either make or break my spirit. Or, I could make peace with the possibility that I may not recover all that I had lost in this situation. I realized that once I made peace with the fact that I may not redeem all that was lost, I immediately felt lighter. And I could forgive myself for my poor choice.
A lot of us beat ourselves up spiritually for some of the decisions that we make or don’t make; this is what we deem, “spiritual violence”. We see the loved one walking away, or the bank account overdrawn, or the marriage not working and we can’t fathom how something that we put so much work into, is seemingly failing us. Those moments must show us what peace is. Peace is not simply being relaxed on a warm sandy beach with loved ones. Peace is understanding, no matter what comes or what goes, or what you lose or what you recover, that you still have the capacity to be well. Some of us have lost something this week and need peace about it, if that is you, I encourage you to lift up this simple prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for peace. I know that anything or anyone that you remove from my life is for a purpose. I command for my Peace to be Still. No matter what I lose, or what I recover, I am convinced that you are an intentional God. I know that it is all working for my good. Thank you for that.
In Jesus’ name, I pray.
Amen
