Anna Patrick's Blog, page 214
December 11, 2015
December 10, 2015
"Leaving a relationship because you want to doesn’t exempt you from your obligation to be a..."
- Cheryl Strayed
"What the future holds for you depends on your state of consciousness now."
- Eckhart Tolle (via thatkindofwoman)
December 9, 2015
"Cultivate an understanding that life is long, that people both change and remain the same, that..."
- Cheryl Strayed
December 8, 2015
Have you been feeling better?
You’re a sweet soul for asking! I am - and I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone going through a breakup or a
tough time to get a new puppy and a new job at the same time. I promise
it does wonders.
I do want to address something though, for anyone who feel like they can relate or offer some insight on going through a tough time:
To be completely honest sometimes it feels like people in my life never let me go through a hard time. Does anyone else ever feel like that? I see others go through things and get cut slack, and I’ve been there for so many of my friends during their hard times, and been glad to do it, but it feels like when I take 2.5 seconds to be sad that’s 1.5 seconds too long for people to handle. I feel like I’m always expected to just bounce back and be my normal self in a day or two. Like I’m not human, not this frozen thing that’s trying to crawl through something difficult, but rather some superhero who can deflect all pangs of heartache and churn out flawless work and writing like a 3D printer with no pulse.
Nothing makes me more angry right now than someone else putting a time limit on your own suffering. “It’s been a month, so you should be fine now.” Thank you, magnanimous God of Time! For bestowing upon me your glittery, incontestable Happiness Timeline. I would be so lost without you! Because the minute that clock strikes midnight I’ll transform into the mutant ball of happiness you’ve always wanted me to be, and we can get back to talking about whatever you really wanted to talk about.
So that was my rant for the evening. I’m not looking for pity of any kind, and maybe I’m being unfair, but I feel like maybe some of you reading this might be able to relate to this frustration.
A disclaimer, though, that I’m not making blanket statements. I’m so grateful for the friends who have swaddled me in nothing but warmth and understanding over the last month and a half or so. Who answered the midnight texts. Who came over and drank wine and ate cheese and let me cry like a baby on an international flight. Who let me stay in and be alone when I needed to, and didn’t take it personally. Even the ones from afar who just let me know I’m in their thoughts. I’m a better person for it.
But I’ll be fine, honestly. Any pain we feel now will
be useful to us someday. I just think it’s important to acknowledge
someone’s struggle, and have the compassion to allow them to take what
they need to work it out for themselves. I can feel myself getting stronger, even in the little moments. I’ve already accomplished my dream of becoming an author, and I’m writing again. I’m starting my grad degree with Harvard next month (online). I love my job, my family and friends have been so supportive.
And I’m so grateful for my puppy, Alfalfa. I could have named him Xanax, he makes me so happy. Every time he makes me laugh, every time he makes me melt into incoherent, high-pitched babytalk, he reminds me that I’m still in here somewhere. That there’s a part of me that’s unchanged, unmoved, and as strong as it ever was. Sometimes the reminder is all we need.
Thanks for allowing me to have this space to reflect, and, admittedly, rant just a little. For this moment to be honest and just express. Thank you for all of your support, every kind message I’ve gotten in my inbox, every funny meme, every uplifting comment, and every time you’ve reminded me, in your own words, that I’m a “badass warrior queen” (@karentomczakphoto you’re amazing for that mantra). You lift me up more than you know! That’s why this community is the glorious sub-planet that it is. We bring out each other’s badass warrior queens. So even in dark moments, it’s like:
With hugs and puppy kisses,
Anna
"Choose love! Choose love!
Enter the rose garden,
let your soul make peace with the thorns."
Enter the rose garden,
let your soul make peace with the thorns.”
- Rumi (via motherofhermes)
