Kourosh Dini's Blog, page 5

It’s too hard to even make it there…

Sometimes the simplest things can feel like the heaviest weights.

The simpler they are, the more we paradoxically “can’t be bothered.”

In such states, how can we ever move forward?

While I often and continue to espouse a Visit as a powerful unit of work, it may yet be too difficult to even make it there. Despite not needing to do a thing, to only show up for a single deep breath and feel free to let it go beyond, the bind of appearing at all is still too much.

What then?

I imagine there have bee...

Music, Work and Play

The stuff of music is ephemeral.

While its composition can be a joy, a pressure builds in its creation.

Deeply embedded in a song’s roots is the essence of play. Sounds stir, the fingers dance, and a body resonates beyond itself.

But to guide sounds into form, we must nurture as an adult.

How does it begin? transition? end?What do I hear? What do I revise?Who is its audience? How can they best be introduced?

Tensions of transition between child and parent within appears every time.

If we set...

Your Time Your Way Podcast Episode – Deep Dive With Dr Kourosh Dini.

Recently, I had the pleasure of being a return guest with Carl Pullein on his Podcast, ​Your Time, Your Way​. We get into discussions about difficult beliefs we might have with ourselves as well as fountain pens, because they are awesome.

Kourosh

Possible Impossibility of Eye-Contact

It’s like staring at the sun.

Looking into someone’s eyes during a conversation, I have no thoughts, only powerful emotional waves of … who knows what … and I must avert my gaze.

How can anyone hold a conversation doing this?

For those with wandering minds, ADHD, autism, among other possibilities, looking at someone in the eyes may not be a simple matter.

Many ask for “accommodations” here. Hoping for a small understanding of our difficulty, maybe it’s something others could let slide. It’s a qu...

“How’d I get here?” and the Vital Importance of Spacing Out

“And you may ask yourself, ‘Well, how did I get here?'” [^1]

One of the most befuddling issues of ADHD and other Wandering Minds is finding ourselves in the middle of something else. Whatever it was we had intended to do is not where we are.

Suddenly, we are working in email when we’d just started that report, watching a show when we were about to read a book, or scrolling through social media, well… just about anytime.

While there are certainly many ways to wander astray, one version is about “...

Aiming for Perfection

“Perfect is the enemy of good.”

Aiming for perfection can surely paralyze. So much of what I write focuses on the journey more so than a destination, as it helps us find action among many other benefits including care, playfulness, and much more.

But what about those times that something needs to be good? Like really good?

When performing music, for instance, a single mistake can completely disrupt its flow, shattering the emotional tableau. With a business report of high stakes, a single error ...

“I can’t do what helps me”

A Joke…

There’s a joke I’d heard in medical school that goes something like this…

A deeply religious man falls overboard from a ship. Unnoticed by the crew as the boat sails away, the man grows frightened.

Treading water, realizing that any hope is rapidly dwindling, he cries out to God,

“I have been a good person throughout my life. I have prayed. I have volunteered countless hours. In my time of need, please help me!”

A small boat sails by. Its occupant yells, “Hey there, let me help you!” The...

The Novelty Hamster Wheel

Trying to Force Ourselves

“I can’t get anything done unless there’s a deadline or I’m interested in it already…”

For some of us, it doesn’t seem to matter how much we organize ourselves or arrange our tasks. If we’re not interested, getting started can be a struggle.

Poking at “Novelty”

One method of trying to “trick” ourselves is to seek novelty. In fact, it’s often a suggested method. Examples include finding a new coffee shop in which to work, using new pens and paper, trying a new app, etc.

...

Quit. Maybe that’s fine.

Quitting is for losers!

You only fail when you quit!

How often do you run into this phrase?

In the ’80s, it was some version of “No pain, No gain”. The sentiment survives today in memes of athletes, perhaps injured, sweating buckets, … striving.

Yes. Fine. Good. You do you.

But I wonder where is the discussion of respecting limits?

A Few Broken Racquets

In high school, I played tennis. I did ok. Tons of practice, private and group lessons, playing on the team,… I put in my hours.

But it was neve...

I have a thing at 5. The day is ruined!

There’s a delightful comic strip by ADHDinos that describes the difficulty a wandering mind can get into when dealing with the day.

Author Ryan Keats’ Instagram

Our hero has “a thing at 5”, and even though there are 6 hours until then, “the day is absolutely ruined.” While there can be several psychological factors at play, one may be the lack of trust in Future Self, fueled by a fear that they wouldn’t be able to stop us if we are in Flow.

If we manage to stumble into some flow, we might compl...