Kourosh Dini's Blog, page 2

Force and the Rebel Within

“I do my best when my back is against the wall!”

How often have you found yourself here? You need to act, but can’t make yourself start—so you wait for the pressure to build. Force becomes the only tool in your kit.

Force: The Usual Suspects

Force shows up in many disguises:

• Waiting for real deadlines

• Creating fake ones

• Over-scheduling

• Shaming yourself

• Making public declarations to “raise the stakes”

• Waiting (or pretending) to “feel like it”

• Relying on others to remind you...

To the Dishes, To the World, I say “No”

Just as I’m about to do the dishes, someone calls from the other room:

“Hey, would you do the dishes?”

Suddenly, I no longer want to. What gives?

Beyond decision, there is the person making it. Us.

This ability to choose, to steer our own course, is at the heart of our existence.

When we stop trusting ourselves to make choices that feel meaningful—choices that serve us and those we care about—we can feel unmoored. Our sense of self, our personhood, starts to unravel.

So when someone tells us wha...

Injured Agency: Why “Just Do It” Doesn’t Work

When Agency Feels Injured

When it comes to a wandering mind, we often struggle.

We lose things. We drop things. We lock ourselves out of the house. We dive deep but then disconnect. We wade through scatter. We can do well here, but not there, but only today, and not tomorrow, and not yesterday, and it’s not clear why.

Through these repeated gaffs and stumbles, many of us begin to believe that something is wrong with us. Throughout we may well fear that were we to decide, we may well choose poorl...

Deciding Without Drama: The Skill of Agency

“But how can I make myself do something?!”

Last time, I shared why the birthplace of agency isn’t in forcing ourselves to do, but in allowing ourselves to be. Certainly a philosophical and heady place to be. But vital, too.

Why does this matter? Because the more we practice sensing and choosing—rather than simply reacting—the more we can shape our days, our work, and even our sense of self.

Today, let’s take agency apart and see why it’s so vital—not just for productivity, but for how we re...

Agency, Not Force, Unlocks Gentle Productivity

Dear Reader,

Today begins a series that might seem boring at first. But this pillar is central to everything I write as an educator and in my as a psychoanalyst. It may not seem sexy or thrilling. It may not sound like, “Oh this will unlock all my troubles.” But hopefully over the next several posts, I can make a case for how vital it is.

Also, check out my recent HomeScreens post at MacSparky!

– Kourosh

_________________________

“I just don’t wanna”.

A familiar refrain for those with wandering ...

“Should I Tell My Boss About My Wandering Mind? My ADHD?”

“Should I tell my boss about my wandering mind? my ADHD?”

 

What an understandable but profoundly tricky question. A flood of other questions follow in its wake:

 

How do they feel about ADHD? Would they understand? Do they have it themselves? Do they already know someone, a family member who has it? How do they feel about them?

 

A Weight of History

Such questions have a history, something behind them. A Wandering Mind, ADHD or otherwise, is not just a person living in the moment. History follo...

From Force to Flow with a “Visit” – A Rhythms of Focus Episode

What do you do when you struggle to engage? In this episode of Rhythms of Focus, we explore how wandering minds-especially those with ADHD-can find a gentler, more sustainable path to meaningful productivity.

We’ll explore a “Visit” as a unit of work, a simple, agency-enhancing practice that transforms focus from a battle into a series of mindful, approachable steps.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
– Why honoring your mind’s natural rhythms can unlock creativity and reduce overwhelm
– How the “...

“It’ll probably be fine, … but what if it’s not?”

“What if” can be a powerful question. In a positive sense, it can become the basis for a story. What if a young kid, stuck in neglectful conditions, was really a powerful wizard? What if there was a high end hotel with guests whose lives all intertwined? What if a tornado whisked someone away to a whole other world?

But “what if” can also haunt us.

“What if I do it wrong?”

“What if it all falls apart?”

Our anxieties can play out in any number of ways.

Writing a report, doing the taxes, going to ...

Announcing the Rhythms of Focus: for Wandering Minds, ADHD, and Beyond

The punchline of today’s post is this:

The Rhythms of Focus: for Wandering Minds, ADHD, and Beyond podcast is now live at your favorite podcasting spots.

The the first three episodes, each about 15 minutes, are now available for your listening pleasure.

If you enjoy them, please subscribe, rate, and review. Your encouragement helps these ideas reach more wandering minds—and, honestly, it also makes my day.

– Kourosh

The Horizon of Unfinished Projects

 

One day, I’d really like to get to that thi...

Stories of a Wandering Mind – Part 3 – The Moral Approach

The Cycle of Self-Blame

 

“Maybe I was born lazy?”

“Maybe I just need to try harder?”

 

As wandering minds, we often consider our troubles moral in nature. Maybe we were somehow ”born lazy”.  If we could only muster more willpower or discipline, we’d be fine.

Holding things in mind “harder”, trying one list after the next, creating a sea of post-it notes, blaring reminders, and a barely balanced set of files on the desktop—all collapse into piles of incomplete projects and missed opportunities, ...