Judith Iris Quate's Blog, page 11
June 27, 2015
I was a guest host on Ellen Stumbo’s Blog
Ellen Stumbo was so kind to offer me to be a guess host on her blog. Please check out her great blog where she talks about raising a special needs child.
Ellen Stumbo
How My Son Inspired Me To Write a Book
Jun 26, 2015 09:19 am | Ellen Stumbo
How My Son Inspired Me To Write a Book
Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Judith Iris Quate for a summer series highlighting writers who focus on disability.
Judith at the hospital
In 1979 I gave birth to twin boys who were two months premature. They were immediately intubated and rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). The next day one of the twins, Michae,l was weaned off the respirator and slowly recovered with the best care NICU can provide, until he was discharged two months later.
Unfortunately Jason’s recovery was not that simple. His left lung collapsed the day after birth and one week later he experienced an intraventricular brain hemorrhage. He was unable to be weaned off the respirator after six weeks. His prognosis was considered very poor. The respirator was supporting his lungs yet at the same time, the longer he was relying on the respirator, the higher chance of another hemorrhage to his brain which would probably be fatal.
Fortunately he was weaned off the respirator and was discharged after four months in the NICU.
Thirty-five years later I felt a strong need to introduce Jason to the world, to create awareness about what life is like having a son with a disability. I wanted people to meet a special child, a young man and finally, an adult. Together, him and I have overcame many hurdles, some I feel no mother should have to experience. I did not know that this was what God had in store for us, but in these years I have learned take his precious gift, my son, and learn from the challenges.
Our special childThis is why I wrote my book, Our Special Child: Jason’s Story. I wrote it so the world would meet a special person, but most importantly, Jason and I want to share our experiences with the hope that his story can educate, support, and mentor other parents who are just learning how to care for their child with special needs.
I want to connect with other mothers and affirm them that I understand what it is like to the little hurdles as well as the big ones.
Every parent should know and be reminded they are not alone.
Judith Iris Quate graduated from the school of hard knocks with a degree in life experiences. This is her first book. She wants to reach out and propagate disability awareness, from a mother’s point of view, to support professionals and parents caring for special needs children.
The post How My Son Inspired Me To Write a Book appeared first on Ellen Stumbo.
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June 23, 2015
“Here’s what I wish you would do.”
Thirty years ago I wish I had access to electronics like the internet so I could express my feelings like the mother did in this story in the above link.
Many times our family would go to the mall with Jason because Jason loved to be there. He loved the colors of the store displays, the sounds of people conversing and just taking and all the excitement he felt being amongst people. He would smile as people walked past him. It never bothered him the strange looks he would get in return or the parents who would grab their child’s hand to move away from the child in the wheelchair like he had a disease their child may catch.
I am so thankful he didn’t see the stares as we passed by or the disgust on their faces when Jason screeched with delight when he heard music. Jason was not able to control his body when he was happy. He would screech very loud and his arms and legs would go into spasms. It was his way of showing joy. Unfortunately, people walked out of his way just so they wouldn’t be near him.
I only wished if just one person would have been kind enough to approach Jason, shake his hand, or just say hello. He would have loved the interaction. It was their loss.
Jude
June 20, 2015
You Must Believe
You all know I have turn to spirituality in my “senior” years helping me to cope with my life. I believe life happens to all of us and it is the way we choose to handle our negative experiences, is the topic of today’s blog post.
I believe that God gave me my son Jason to teach me to cope with life’s challenges. His strength got me through the years. I am not a religious person, I choose to be spiritual in the religion I was born in. This means I do not follow the traditional beliefs of my faith, just the spirituality.
For the past several years God tested my will again. Why he continues to test me, I do not quite understand, but I accept it as another life experience he needs me to get through in order to reach my journey.
I lived under a great deal of stress for the past several years and, with the will of God and my belief in my spiritual guardian, I got through it and finally can see the light at the end of the long tunnel I walked through.
My point here is you must believe there is an end to troubled times and you also will see the light at the end of the tunnel. Just believe my friends.
Hugs
Jude
June 13, 2015
Lions, Tigers and Bears…Oh My….
I lived most of my life in the big city of Philadelphia and moved to rural Bucks County in 2005. It will be 10 years in August.
Yesterday I am driving a very familiar route I take three times a week to the gym for my water aerobic classes. I am on the very heavily traveled Easton Road in Warrington waiting to turn into the parking lot where my gym is located. “Why is there a car sitting in front of me not moving? Is there something wrong with the driver?”, I wonder. I turn on my left turn signal waiting to maneuver my car around this car when I see a large turtle, very slowly making his way over to the side of the road.
While I am laughing at this scene, I am reminded of another day when I was driving on route 202. (This is a new constructed highway built about two years ago to help the flow of traffic in our area of the county.) I approach cars that have stopped on both the east and west sides of the highway. I am wondering what happened? Suddenly, if I didn’t see this with my own eyes, I would not believe it, a mother duck with her babies were waddling across the busy highway.
One day I heard a knocking sound in the woods across the street and I was told it was a wood pecker. A neighbor found a large garden snake on our lawn. I am happy I missed that one. Occasionally I need to leave my house early to sit for my grandchildren and I hear a bird I could share is whistling at me like a man would whistle at a woman. Finally, I was looking out my back window and almost called 911. I thought I saw a large animal that looked like a mountain lion. A neighbor told me it was a fox.
Hence the title of this post, “lions, tigers and bears…oh my!!” I am not fretting, I love it. For a city girl…this is the real life. If I was still living in Philadelphia, the only sounds I would be hearing would be police helicopters over our house, police sirens and probably gun shots and fire engines.
By the way, our development is across the way from a shooting range, so, I do hear guns; however no fear, they are just hitting targets……I hope
June 8, 2015
The Pickle Jar
Recently a friend sent me this video. It is a powerful and unique way for him to express priorities in life to his students. I found it to be an important message that deserves to be shared on my blog.
I love writing and sharing messages that are so important to me such as disability awareness, women’s rights, peace in the world and spirituality.
It has been almost two years now expressing and sharing my thoughts, art and spirituality here on WordPress; I treated myself to a new design. Do you like it? I also changed the name to help establish who I am as a woman. Funny that most of you began to call me Jude and I liked it. My secondary name, Jude’s Inspirational Wisdom certainly captures my spirituality, the love of inspiring and how I am aging so wisely
May 28, 2015
Watching Television is Inspiring
Dear Friends,
If you have been following me you probably know I enjoy watching television. You may ask when I find the time? DVR is the best new device I have and use it regularly. I enjoy watching television in the morning while eating breakfast, at lunch time, late in the afternoon after my busy day, and after dinner until I cannot keep my eyes open anymore.
I am mostly inspired watching American Idol, The Voice, Master Chef and America’s Got Talent. What can be more inspiring than watching a person like you and I having a dream and working very hard to bring the dream to fruition? It allows me to believe dreams can come true. This is the ultimate inspiration.
Just recently I started watching Parenthood on Netflix. For some reason I chose not to watch the show at real time. After I viewed the first episode, first season, I was hooked and managed to watch all the shows in all 6 seasons in about three weeks.
It was a very well written show. What impressed me most, the ability to capture a true family of today with subjects ranging from disability, cancer, inner racial marriage, heart disease, single mom issues, unwanted pregnancy, PTSD and marital problems. Most of the issues are part of my family history. There wasn’t one episode I didn’t find myself crying; I could relate.
I learned a great deal from this show. I no longer believe I am not the only one dealing with real life issues. I know it was a drama on television but how many of you out there related to this great American family with their problems? I will bet many of you have.
Virtual hugs dear friends,
Jude
May 21, 2015
Requesting Prayers
Last Wednesday my cousin was in a severe car crash. He underwent a nine hour surgery to correct damage to his facial muscles. He is breathing via a ventilator through a tracheotomy. Currently is spiking a fever due to an infection from aspirating pneumonia.
No one should have to ordeal such tragedy. His parents are in a state of shock feeling like they are in a nightmare.
He is in severe condition but, thankfully, hanging in there. He is a young man with a long and successful life to look forward to.
Please help me pray for his recovery from this tragic accident.
Thank you dear friends.
Jude
May 11, 2015
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALI
Today is Ali’s 9th birthday. She is our sweet, loving dog. We adopted her 8 months before Jason passed away. She helped us through the difficult days of mourning, lying by our side when she felt our sadness. Her only concern was to make us happy, and she eventually did.
Ali has her faults and unfortunately has a reputation of not being a friendly dog. She will not let any people in our house she doesn’t know. She will bark uncontrollably when she sees our neighbor outside and will bark at the children playing.
She loves our son and grandchildren and all I have to say. Michael, Dylan or Lindsey are coming, she will park herself at the window anxiously waiting for them to arrive with her tail wagging.
Recently I had surgery and when I arrived home and slept all afternoon, she layed by my side to provide comfort.
Her only job in life is to provide unconditional love to her family and protect us from harm. We all have our personality issues. I only ask people to look beyond her poor behavior and believe us she is one very special dog , and we love her unconditionally as she does for us.
May 8, 2015
A Special Tribute to my Mom
This is a picture of my beautiful mother when she was in her early twenties. She was raised in a rural small town in upstate New York. Her parents were immigrants from Russia who did not speak English. My grandfather somehow managed to raise and feed six children while making little money pulling a horse and wagon through the streets selling rags. They were poor but very much loved and well cared for, and all the children graduated from high school.
My mother married my father after World War II and they moved to Brooklyn, New York and eventually to Philadelphia when my father was transferred in his job with the Veterans Administration.
My sister was born and three years later I came along and Mom was a stay at home mom taking great care of both of us. When I started school, Mom got a job with the Naval Depot which was walking in distance from our house. My sister and I took care of ourselves after school until she returned home from work.
She was a full time mother, had a full time job, cleaned the house and made us homemade dinners every night. She was a Brownie Leader as well.
My values I learned from her made me the woman I am today. She taught me to be independent, encouraged me to be self sufficient and tried to instill self esteem and build my confidence, but this wasn’t an easy chore since I believe we had the same faults. She tried to make me better than her by pushing me to suceed and encouraged me to socialize by joining the USO in 1969. She was a member of the USO in WWII, where she met my father.
My mother passed away in 1986 and I still miss her very much. She supported me during my challenging years caring for my boys and I know how much she loved them along with my nephew and niece.
Happy Mother’s Day mom. You were my best friend, mentor and loving mother and I will cherish the values I learned from you for the rest of my life.
April 28, 2015
Mother’s Day
Holidays in our family have always been a big deal. We would gather the entire family, literally stuffed in a small row home in Philadelphia. It didn’t matter because we were together to celebrate and enjoy good food.
Mother’s Day was always fun celebrating with my mom as a young girl and then graduated to celebrating with both my mom and my mother-in-law. We all got along very nicely and welcomed both of our parents together for my husband and I to honor both mothers.
When my boys were born we still all came together for all the mother’s to be honored. Most of the time we had one large BBQ at one of our houses because it was important to celebrate all mother’s in our family.
In recent years life certainly has changed. My mom and mother-in-law are now passed along with my son. Mother’s Day is not the same. I am mostly okay but it does hurt. I miss my mother and my son. The day usually passes by as just another day.
My dearly departed mother, mother-in-law and son will be in my thoughts on Mother’s Day and I am blessed for their memories.
