Tirza Schaefer's Blog, page 12

International Love

I had first decided to write a little something in my newsletter about a realisation I had a couple of days ago concerning my personal and family’s international relations but when I considered this, I came to the conclusion that it is much more complex a subject that pervades just about every part of my life and, therefore, that of my children, family and other people close to me by association.

The subject was brought to mind by me noticing how confusing it must be for our mostly very traditional German neighbourhood, filled with people who cannot tell the difference between Chinese and Arabic writing, to have a very different person like me in the neighbourhood. I am German and I look it, too. My children are half-African but have Sanskrit, Urdu, Hawaiian, Persian, Latin and Hebrew given names. I like to listen to reggaeton, which is almost always Spanish speaking, some Patois and English thrown in on occasion.

My daughter Tarini, who is the one remaining of my children, still to live at home, is a K-Pop fan. As such, she has an app where she learns Korean for fun, she watches Korean and Chinese dramas on Netflix and YouTube also. When we talk, it is either in English or German, of a mix of the two.

I watch Netflix series or movies in English or Spanish (the latter with subtitles) when those are the original languages or I enjoy a good Turkish series, like I do at present, a historical drama in series called Resurrection by its English title. Admittedly, Turkish will never be my favourite language but there is a lot of things I love about Turkish culture, just as much as there are a few things I might not be too fond of. But that is the same with every country, culture and belief system, religion or spiritual path the world over. And everyone who knows me personally, will know that I see certain aspects of my own country of birth, Germany, with a critical eye as well. I am not one of the people who glorify their own country regardless of its shortcomings, merely because I happen to be born in it.

So what do I love about other countries, people and cultures? The answer is as varied as the individual countries and cultures we look at. By nature, my personality is such that I like to look for the beauty in life, the things that give us a common ground or things I find lacking in my own cultural environment and admire in others. I love learning and expanding my horizons. I listen to Bollywood music and classical Western music, Arabic love songs and sing an Indonesian lullaby for my children or an old Japanese pop song recorded by a Chinese artist back in the 80s. And I have friends all over the world, many online, some of whom I have had the great blessing to have met in person as well.

And then, there is the food! From Thai coconut curry over Chinese stir-fried Singapore noodles to Mexican tacos, American bean burgers (yup, I’m a vegetarian), to French baguette and Spanish fresh salads (the best I ever had was on the Spanish island of Lanzarote), Greek Feta and Turkish Börek, not to mention Indian Daal and so many more wonderful dishes, keeping your options and cultural tastebuds open is a true delight for the senses.

As we are already on the subject of senses, there is the sensual aspect, namely, my romance novels. Mostly, the MCs are pretty mixed in ethnicity and that has a reason, too – and now it’s getting personal! When I see pictures of handsome men and beautiful women as I browse not only through stock photos but also google for inspiration, watch movies and so on, I am struck with the beauty of people from the world over.

Just as I love something about every part of the world in culture and cuisine, I love to look at people. People that are beautiful not only because they have a pleasing exterior but whose personality shines through their eyes. And who is to say one is more beautiful than the other? I cannot. And don’t mistake this, I SEE COLOUR! I am not a person who says, she is colour-blind. I know the intention behind it but fact is, we all see colour unless we are truly physically blind. I see a white, blonde person in the mirror every day. I see an eerily beautiful light-brown skinned angel with the most soulful eyes and warmest loving smile when I look at my daughter each day.

I see the beautiful deep rich colour of a black person, the noble features of a Native American warrior, the high cheekbones of a Chinese actor, the shiny, warm eyes glistening in the face of a Turkish woman… I see them all and I see their differences and unique features and traits. And all of them have a common factor that combines them, that unites them. And that is beauty. There is beauty in each person, in each ethnicity and each gender, even if you go under the premise that there are more than two genders because even that is so uniquely individual.

And this is why my characters are as diverse as the world is. ,Tank has three male MCs of Samoan, Viking-descended American and Spanish with some Arabic roots mixed in. ,Izzy’s three men are black, white and Latino. And in Calendar Boys, which is the fifth book of The Milf Diaries, which is not yet published, there are twelve men, all of different ethnicities, being best friends and in love with one woman. So I hope, you’ll be looking forward to that, although that is going to take some time still until its publication.

Being open to new impressions, new experiences and friendships with people from different backgrounds has enriched my life in a way I cannot even describe. Years ago, when I lived in London, someone asked me, as I had friends from all over the globe, what was the combining factor or red ribbon that united them as a reason for me to feel close to them, I had to pause and think. Up to that day, I had never really thought about this. But the concept of all of them having something in common that appealed to me was logical and so, I pondered on this.

The answer I finally came up with after careful examination and evaluation surprised me at the time. I wasn’t half as self-aware in my early twenties than I am now at almost fifty years of age. My friends had all a very strong sense of family loyalty and where they came from dysfunctional families, they were very loyal and appreciative of their “family of the heart”, their close friends. Just like me. To me, I would not think twice to take over a shift at a family-owned shop to support my relatives, babysit my future grandchildren or help out in any other way I can when someone in my family or close circle of friends needs it.

On the flipside of this coin, I am very unforgiving of people who turn their back on their family in times of need, don’t care about keeping in touch every so often at least and betraying trust. I suppose, with the mutual support, I was in line with my Asian Indian friends, the intolerance of disloyalty, I could most closely identify with the Sicilian mafia (I once read an article about it a Sicilian mafia matriarch that impressed me strongly with how much I had in common with the woman, minus the cruelty and willingness to use violence to force my views on others).

Just recently, I told a friend, I would rather have a poor family I had to starve with who loves and supports me than a financially better situated one that treats me like I am worthless simply because I am different and I don’t measure my own value at the size of my bank account. So that is my red ribbon in my international love. The LOVE people carry in their hearts, the willingness to support each other, of course, in a healthy, not self-sacrificial manner. Loyalty, trustworthiness and honesty. And that kind of beauty, as well as the physical beauty of a person, you can find in any and every country, any and every culture and any and every ethnicity in the world.

Click on the pictures below to read the books:

Get ,Tank, Book 1 of the Seals in Spain trilogy here!

Get ,Izzy, Book 1 of The Milf Diaries here!

Download Love in the Sky for ,FREE HERE for a limited time only!

Forged by Blood (A Kingdom Scarred 0.5) by Catrin Russel

FORGED BY BLOOD by Catrin Russell is the first book I have read from this author. I don’t read high fantasy very often but I decided to give this a shot. The book is the prequel to the A KINGDOM SCARRED series and as ebook is only available for FREE when you sign up to the author’s newsletter. The print version is available on Amazon.

I cannot begin to tell you how enthralled I was from the start and as someone who also works with her voice a lot, I felt this story needed to be read out loud. I might be a little eccentric that way but I sat in my favourite reading armchair with a hot tea that was getting cold, a candle lit by my side and read this wonderful short, face-paced story out loud to myself. And what a story it was!

It begins with a scene of our young hero Connor being clumsy at home, his mother Avianna understanding and his father Kronin speaking harshly to his son. Connor is about to be sent out on a mission where young men of his clan have to prove themselves to become full adult members and can get married as well. However, Connor never makes it that far because he is otherwise engaged. His little brother Dragan gets taken by a wyvern, a terrible flying lizard and Connor runs to the rescue, fighting two of these ghastly creatures to protect and save his brother’s life.

FORGED BY BLOOD is a fast-paced story, one that has you sitting at the edge of your seat. The characters are wonderfully portrayed with their little quirks and striking personality traits. They practically leap off the pages. And the extensive fighting scenes are so clearly described that even someone like me who has no expertise in fighting techniques of any sort, can easily follow. I loved that Connor didn’t merely charge in and save the day but is portrayed as a real person with very real limitations. However, for the love of his brother, he doesn’t give up and the fight is anything but predictable – as is the outcome.

I won’t spoil this for you but I will tell you that I am in love with Russell’s style of writing, her way of showing the reader, emerging them into the scene, rather than telling and info-dumping which some authors are prone to do, especially in a story this short. The beauty of the language flows and feels like a river that carries you along on its way to the great sea while taking in all the sights on its way. There has been one particular short passage that, already beautiful on its own, has moved me to tears in context, and that I would love to share with you here:

“We’re all human,” Kronin interjected. “And so are you. Take it in your stride, and no one will ever be able to belittle you. Own you – yourself – and every last part of you. Embrace who you are, for it is a blessing you were ever brought into this world.”

Connor thinks, his father is ashamed of him for his clumsiness when in truth, Kronin is beside himself with worry that his son might get hurt or even killed on his mission and he almost didn’t get a chance to set things right with his son.

The interaction of the characters with each other, the playful, flirty banter between husband and wife, the love between brothers and the vivid colours in which not only they but also their environment are painted all play a part in making this little treasure not only a great book but an outstanding one that will definitely go on my list of best loved books of all times. And ,Catrin Russell has joined the league of my all-time favourite authors.

I am not a fast reader and I don’t get much time to read in general but you can be sure that I will work my way eventually through her entire catalogue! Forged by Blood is the kind of book you don’t only want on your Kindle but the kind you want to proudly present on your physical bookshelf.

Follow Catrin Russell on Social Media

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Catrin Russell is a Fantasy and Romance author from northern Sweden. Her books are all written in English and are mainly part of the Epic and High Fantasy Genre. However, she does use influences from Dark Fantasy, and a touch of Fantasy Romance.

Growing up outside a small town, basically in the middle of nowhere, Catrin eventually moved to Stockholm, where she studied computer game development and design. Meeting her soon-to-become husband online, she lived outside of London for the best parts of a year, before finally settling down in Piteå, back in Sweden. Since then, three children and two dogs have joined the family.

With a background in design and holding a degree as a registered nurse, she writes novels in medieval settings, with plenty of action and romance. She often brings moral struggles, or highlights issues in society, into her writing. Another subject that is often highlighted is mental health.

Catrin also creates concept art, bringing her characters to life on the screen, and her own cover designs, much of which can be seen on her social media pages.

The Flower in Flames Is Burning Bright!

In my Facebook group ,Tirza's Bookstore, authors can sign up to do a live reading to present their work. I really love to offer other great talents this opportunity to showcase their work. But not everyone is able or willing. Technical, health or confidence issues can keep some amazing authors back from reaching a wider audience and to help, I am offering to read for those who cannot do so for themselves.

Swit is the first author who took me up on the offer for technical issues and being from South Africa, she inserted some Shona and Xhosa terms. I can't click like that but I was told I was still doing well, so I hope I didn't mess up too bad with the words.

This story has moved me so deeply that when I read it the first time, I cried at the end and knowing how this second chapter I am reading here ends, the tears flowed again live. I had to stop and take a breath. More than once. And Swit commented she cried, too. So keep your tissues handy, read about her background below and follow her on social media. Links are at the bottom. But most of all, please, share the hell out of this video for it to reach as many people as possible all around the world.

Let this story be a beacon of light to all the women and children who live in fear and in the face of constant abuse, physical, sexual, emotional and mental. I am begging you to echo the voice of this bright shining soul across the globe. Swit is an advocate for women's and children's rights and her voice who is the voice for countless, millions of soundless voices in this world, needs to be heard. Don't turn away, don't walk off.

Share! Raise awareness! Show the world that it is not okay for a man to commit acts of violence against women and children - and get away with it - merely for the fun of it.

"A society is only ever as strong as its weakest member."

A quote I personally grew up with (and I am sorry, have forgotten who said it first). Look around you. When there is a woman lying in a pool of blood, a frightened child huddled in a corner, is that the kind of society we want? And it doesn't only ever happen to others, to other people in other countries. It can happen anywhere. And it DOES happen anywhere. It can happen to you. Maybe it already has? Give it a voice! Swit speaks for all of you, for all of us.

Watch the recording of my live reading below:

https://youtu.be/1gia6scG3mMAbout Swit La Pound

Swit La Pound is a South African author who, as a victim and survivor of abuse, is passionate about writing issues around women and children’s abuse and their link to mental health and behavioural change. Swit also celebrates African culture and tradition through stories and folklore. In addition, she, at times, writes romance and is a poet and a musician. She started publicly writing in February 2020 and has five books available thus far.

Her first is FLOWER IN FLAMES: It’s a Men’s World which is a #1 fictional story that addresses forms, extents and generational existence of abuse, through a heartbreaking, yet hopeful story told by women from different facets and generations. Her second book, EMOTIONS: DIARY OF A VICTIM: It’s a Men’s World #2 is a memoir of her personal experiences with abuse, which focuses on the emotions that followed and how they affected her thinking, perceptions, behaviour and socialization-her mental health. It dissects emotions and attempts to exhibit what really happens to victims of sexual abuse, and abuse generally, after the act.

Her third book, RUGGED RICHES, My love, My Billionaire, is an adult romance (18+), which gives drama, suspense, murder, jealousy and reconciliation all in one intriguing story of unexpected love.

The fourth book she wrote is WHAT IF? ABSURD SHORT STORIES, a collection of African tales that will get you wondering and thinking. The book explores tradition, belief, MUTI, witchcraft, power hunger, inhumane transformations and the search for immortality.

Currently, she has a unique blend of poetry, entrie and short stories in one book, RANDOMNESS OVERLOAD, which is still ongoing, but available for free reads of the available chapters.

Swit is also a guest writer in The N Dream blog, every Tuesday.

Swit La Pound’s Social Media Links

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,Blog: The N Dream Blog

Books

,Emotions

,Flower in Flames

,What If? Absurd Short Stories

Rugged Riches, My love, My Billionaire

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Snake Goddess Rising: The Creation

Snake Goddess Rising was the first of my romance books that I published in 2015 but I didn’t write it in that particular year. It was a story I had written in 2012, at the height of my obsession with Bollywood movies, Sharukh Khan and Hindu (and Egyptian) deities. I’ve always had a thing for cobras, as Cobra is one of my power animals, be they Indian or Egyptian, I loved the concept of their deification, which is actually pretty similar in both locations.

Then I experienced a vision of Goddess Manasa. I didn’t know which Goddess it was at first but the vision was so vivid and profound that I started to research Hindu cobra deities and finally came across Manasa. When I read about her first on Wikipedia, everything fell into place. In my vision, I had a giant cobra slay her fangs into my eyes and I felt an icy cold in my eye sockets from the poison. At the same time, I was calm and felt safe. There was no pain, no fear, however horrific it may sound. At the time of the vision, I knew I was symbolically imbued with the power of the Goddess and the Cobra spirit animal.

This experience in my vision had such a profound effect on me that I felt like I needed to write a fictional story about it in which I worked through my impressions and emotions and as I’ve always loved to write love stories since my teenage years, Snake Goddess Rising became a story of a woman travelling to India to beseech the Goddess Manasa to grant her a boon. When I looked through my writings three years later, however, I decided that – with a lot of rewriting – this story needed to make its way into print and after I had gone through extensive re-writing and re-editing, I was satisfied that my very first romantic work was ready to see the light of day and greet the world.

The healing, the compassion and the deep love and spirituality of the woman setting out to visit India to pray at Manasa’s shrine, her interaction with the Serpent Goddess was so beautiful in my mind and still touches me to this day. In this book, I combined my spirituality and my love of romance into one work of fiction.

Finding a way to publish it was more difficult for me at the time. Like my first two books, a book of poetry, “Poetry from the Heart” that has since been unpublished and incorporated and extended in my two currently published poetry books, My Spirit Song, a work of over 170 spiritual poems and Love Expressed, a selection of 66 of my romantic and sensual poems, and A Magical Family Holiday, a travelogue that combines storytelling, parenting, time-travel and magic that is still in my catalogue.

Not having much of a budget at the time, I tried several cheap designers from an online portal and it changed a few times until I had finally found my own style for all my books, my own brand. What I also had to realise and integrate during this time of coming out as not only a spiritual poet but also an author of erotic romance books was that sexually explicit writing doesn’t have to be dirty or cheap, the same way as there are graphic and heavily sexual scenes in a movie that can still touch the heart and move with the intricacies of the story and the characters, a great example of this would be the highly acclaimed Netflix series Bridgerton, and cheap porn, even though my descriptions of sexual encounters are definitely more graphic than what is shown in a mainstream TV series.

However, my story wasn’t a third rate cheap one, either. Striving for excellence was always something I have done myself, giving my best that was possible for me at the time. And now I had to put on my big girl panties and demand it of others, too. I needed to get out of working with people who were delivering sub-standard work, who were lazy, not committed and loyal and always procrastinated. I had to go through a process of not only presenting my very first romance novel publicly to the world, which was stressful enough in itself, but I also had to learn to take my own work seriously and believe in myself, in my talent and in my value as an author.

So in the end, even though I am not a graphic designer, I decided to create my own book covers, five years after I had published my first books, gone through endless trial and errors with cheap and overpriced cover designers that resulted in a string of covers that had nothing to do with me or the kind of brand I wished to present to the world. There was no red ribbon that worked its way through all my works, from the spiritual to the romantic. And thus, I had to believe in myself enough to learn how to create my own covers and stand out from the crowd of mainstream romance cover designs to do it my way.

So in 2015, although my path in finding my own style had not yet been established for another five years and I was still working with cover designers, my first books taught me a very valuable lesson in my personal development:

Respect yourself, respect your work, and only then will others do so, too!

Find out more about Tirza Schaefer's books and special features and promotions with and by her friends and colleagues on her ,website!

Top 20 and Happy New Year with the Goddess

I have just discovered that my reverse harem romance novel ,TANK, Book 1 of the Seals in Spain trilogy, has been chosen to be amongst the Top 20 Reads of 2020.

My excitement about this is off the charts because book blogger Laura Childs, owner of The Magic Book Corner (Instagram) is an extraordinary blogger and reviewer of romance and fantasy fiction with some children’s books thrown in for good measure. Check out her reviews and you will feel her magical touch for sure. Not to mention that her book dragon Jeff is just the cutest!

What a way to start the new year! And then I went into meditation to meet the Global Goddess of the Year 2021. The Global Goddess of the Year 2020 had been Ma’at. She is really more of a concept than a Goddess and symbolises divine law and harmony in Ancient Egyptian mythology. The reading I did was very much centred around that now energies are such that they no longer sustain living your lives in lies. Not being authentic was going to be so much harder and there would be many instances to call you out on and rub your face into your own BS. If you don’t get it, no worries, you’ll be reminded time and time again, from the microcosm to the macrocosm. With a sledgehammer. And look what happened! If you want to read more about the Goddess Ma’at, click here to read more about this amazing deity.

So now that it’s 2021, the Goddess who revealed herself to me on New Year’s Eve was Rhiannon, which surprised me somewhat as I had already written more about the Gaulish Horse Goddess Epona whom I thought to be the counterpart of the Welsh Celtic Goddess Rhiannon, so I hadn’t any intentions of writing about the latter separately as well. But there you go, our human intellectual consciousness often cannot fathom the intricate working of the divine plan behind the scenes and so Rhiannon ensure I would not mistake her for Epona, being a Horse Goddess as well, by surrounding herself with songbirds flitting around her head and upper body in my vision. Her message was that of hope, unconditional love and a slow alleviation of the heaviness of the collective fear we are experiencing in these Covid-stricken times. Read all about Rhiannon’s message here.

So that’s my, i.e. our, awesome news to start the new year with. Isn’t that so great?

Love, hope, health, fearless smiles and hugs to you in abundance for the year ahead,

Tirza xoxo

Tajun & Unification

Today, I will have to publish two blogs. Yes, after neglecting blogging for such a long time, two in one day. And no, I cannot spread them out because today is a special day in Germany and it is a special day for my family and it is a special day for me. I want to (and indeed feel I have to) share with you my thoughts, ideas and feelings. It is a message of love, of healing and of working towards your dreams, one step, one lightbulb moment at a time. And for this blog, one love and cuddle fest at a time. Here we go…

Late this morning, almost lunchtime, my son Tajun came by. We had not expected him. He came yesterday from the ,City of Münster where he lives in two hours away to visit his grandparents and have a belated 80th birthday dinner for his granddad. He told us that he cannot come to visit us this weekend as he has to return home for a party at the student halls and he has to help with preparations. Still, before he hit the Autobahn, the German highway, again with his motorbike, he had to stop over here to give us a cuddle.

What a nice surprise this was! I had hoped he’d do that but I didn’t want to pressure him. He works hard during the week and riding his bike in less than ideal weather is not that easy, either, I am sure. As it is, he always splits himself between grandparents, his friends and us when he is here, or he stays home and spends time with his friends there. At his age, I used to live in London, so I couldn’t go home over the weekend but I could party, usually during the week. I studied, worked and partied. I had boundless energy. It seems like a lifetime ago now but this way I have an understanding of all the things that are going on in my son’s life. Been there, done that, won the t-shirt.

He said he could not leave without having cuddled us. He was so very loving and my heart simply flowed over as we all three, Tarini included, held each other tightly, kissed cheeks and said how much we love each other. I would so love for him to be able to stay here and so would he but he is, unfortunately, allergic to our cat Taani, Tarini’s animal familiar. Those two are soulmates. Tajun loves the cat a lot as well. He sometimes caresses and strokes her and washes his hands afterwards but usually starts getting watery eyes and an itchy nose quite quickly, anyway. I think it hurts all of us that we cannot be together more but for now, we must live with it the way it is.

When I showed him what I had written last night, the raw version on paper, he was impressed. Seven A4 pages are nothing to me, and yet, the most he had ever written were 6 half pages in his final German exams at school he said. I have noticed that since I showed him the amazing ,5-star review from ,The Magic Book Corner for my book ,Tank, the first part of the ,Seals in Spain Trilogy, he is taking my writing more seriously and is more appreciative of what I do. He said if he ever needs anything written, he knows where to come to for help. Haha! As if I had any idea about the technicalities of sanitary, heating and A/C systems or the details of weaponry. Firearms are another of his passions besides being a history buff with a view to strategy and warfare.

I like heroes in uniforms but I’ve only ever once fired a gas pistol (that’s what I was told what it was at the time) one New Year’s Eve when I was a teenager with a fireworks bullet in it. The handgun was heavy and loud and I didn’t think at the time I would ever care to repeat the experience. I never really read up in detail about firearms, the technicalities and mechanics of it. In theory, Tajun could build you a gun. He loves the mechanics of it all. So I told him, I wasn’t sure I would be able to help had he ever to write something. He said we can do it together. Now that would be a cool project.

The three of us spent ten minutes in each other’s arms, hugging and kissing before Tajun had to go on to be home in time to help people on his floor to empty the communal room for the party. Today is German Unity Day. We are celebrating when the wall to Eastern Germany had come down in 1989 (read this article from 2015 by The Local) and our country had once become one nation. The Allied forces had split Germany amongst themselves after the war and as free as the parts were that had been occupied by Western forces, as enslaved the Soviet-rules Eastern part was which had been ruled by a puppet regime, which was called the German Democratic Republic, an allegedly socialist state, although there was nothing much social about it and most of all, it wasn’t really democratic at all.

Today, our country is free and unified, at least on paper, although it is said it takes a generation for people to mentally unify themselves again. That’s my children’s generation and in many ways, I love how their minds work. They see the world through different eyes. No Cold War or Iron Curtain clouds their vision, no wall restricts their travels. That is a great blessing and with all the challenges we face today, we often forget all the blessings we are gifted with now that we didn’t have thirty years ago.

My greatest blessing today is the unity of our family for ten minutes. Yes, my middle daughter was missing in the family hug and love fest but three out of four is still damn good. And the love I feel now from this is the wind beneath my wings. Tajun asked me to send him the link to the blog when I have written and posted it. I think it is the first time he ever asked me to do that. Usually, I sent him a link now and then and hoped that he would take the time to read it. Our relationship is taking on another, new dynamic. He is growing into an impressive young man and I am so very proud of him, just as I am proud of my daughters Tarjani and Tarini, of course. But today, it was about him dropping in for just a few minutes, standing in the hallway in his biker gear, he only took the helmet off, not wanting to skip town without holding us in his arms for a few minutes at least.

A Phoenix Was Born

I love spiritual work and I love steamy romance novels. Viewed on a surface level, these two go about as well together as do oil and water if you leave Tantra out of the equation. And this is what blocked me most in my getting ahead professionally, as a romance author and a spiritual healer and Goddess coach. It seemed, when I concentrated on one, I neglected and lost my audience and followers of the other side and vice versa. I was wrecking my brain how to combine the two.

After running everything parallel to start with, I made the decision that I would refuse from then on to be shamed into always denying, hiding or at least keeping separate, one aspect not only of my work but of who I am as a person and what I am passionate about. In an act of defiance, I created a website that incorporated all of it. put everything on one page, in one group, on one account. The result was, I completely lost engagement. I worked harder, created more content, worked longer hours and still…nothing.

The equation Success = Hours x Work Intensity does not work. So together with some challenges in my private life and massive existentialist fears finally overwhelming me, I headed straight for train wreck, a.k.a. burnout. I ended up mentally incapacitated and emotionally raw. It took me a year to work my way out of a half year stint of daily medication and into a space where I could think analytically and creatively again. My journey was scary, to say the least, but it made me stronger and I learned so many valuable lessons from it.

As I came out the other side, I met people who were genuinely kind, non-judgmental, supportive, helpful and emotionally open to let me e these things myself in return as well. There was a flow, give and take wasn’t always balanced, it wasn’t always “instant payback” but there were trust and a willingness to help and receive help where help was needed without always tallying up in minute detail what’s owed from where, when and by whom.

I found a group of people, headed by the awesome ,Stephanie Behrens, photographer and author, who individually are very different in personal taste and style, profession, background, faith and politics but we all believe in that one thing that together we are stronger than the sum total of our individual parts and to build a great team, it takes not only effort but also love, compassion and acceptance.

I feel that all I’ve got from this group, I will never be able to repay in full and I strive to do my best to get my own work done and find a way to incorporate these amazing individuals because I don’t have the energy nor the skills to big them up the way they deserve on top of everything else I already have to do.

As I was seeking ways to combine my own ends with that of the other group members and sharing more of myself publicly in the process, I noticed a slow but steady rise in my social media stats as well. But by that time, marketing and gaining a wider audience wasn’t even my primary goal any longer in connection with this group, although Stephanie Behrens had founded it for this purpose and we are working towards this on a daily basis.

By helping each other with a combined marketing effort within our group, I not only got to know the individual members better but I also got to know myself better. Parallel to this development, things started to ease up on my private life. I was able to let go of a lot of emotionally crippling pain, although there is always more, of course. Healing is an ongoing process.

I won an energy reading by my amazing friend ,Stef Ventura, ,the Psychic Soul Alignment Coach, and received the most profound, concise and clear messages on the questions I had. I won’t go into detail here but at the core was the statement I had hoped to avoid but knowing as a seasoned spiritual healer myself that you cannot ever avoid it if you want to create lasting change in your life, I had to heal deeper layers of my psyche and the outside would fall into place as well. I had hoped to avoid it out of fear of having a relapse into emotional instability and mental brain fog.

A year of being intellectually completely incapacitated had been the scariest part of my burnout. Not the initial all-consuming panic attack, the occasionally recurring anxiety or even the fact that my body weight had spiralled out of control. My greatest fear was of being “stupid” again. As silly as this sounds, for a nerd and, I have to be truthful here, a bit of an intellectual snob (yes, I’m only human, too), not being able to retain anything I was told or that I read and process it intellectually, was the worst that could have happened to me.

It was also the best that ever happened to me because it forced me to concentrate on the only thing I could still make out, my own feelings which I had buried so often so deeply under intellectual pursuits, adult responsibilities and the need to function always because I’m the only parent my children have and the only spiritually aware person in the family to be able to give them guidance in creating their own lives (see the book I wrote based on a conversation I had with my then 8-year-old daughter Tarini, my youngest, ,How Picasso Makes You a Genius).

The burnout was a blessing. It was a painful breaking away of layers of old, dysfunctional patterns and relationships but it was also the beginning of greater self-awareness, taking my own needs more seriously and not always stuffing them into the bottom of the pile of things to do. I learned to clearly state what I needed, what my boundaries were and what I was able to do – and what not. This required that I had to learn to determine what that was in the first place to be able to communicate it clearly.

As I learned to say no, I created room to say yes to myself. I still love helping others, being part of a team, working for something greater than myself, but I also gave up on my helper syndrome where I would run on empty and stop looking after me in order to put someone else first and give when I had nothing left to give. I learned that it’s not just theory that you can only be of real help to others from a position of strength, not of weakness. I found greater balance and, in the process, a lot more self-love.

But, as Stef Ventura told me during our reading, although I had shed layers of pain, limiting beliefs and other blockages, there were still deeper layers of pain and trauma I needed to access and heal if I really wanted a positive change in my life. It wasn’t that I didn’t know because I did, although often we need to hear things from someone else for them to sink in, it was that I didn’t know how. No amount of meditation, Reiki and other healing modalities had helped to succeed in that. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t tried. But my subconscious had continued to stubbornly cling to those old things I intellectually knew I had no more use of if I wanted to lead a happy, healthy and prosperous life. So now, the elusive and sporadic “one day” had become an ongoing active search for a way to access this.

I wrecked my brain and then I started to watch the high school musical TV series ,,Glee with my now 13-year-old daughter Tarini. Over the weeks, the more we watched, the more I cried from one episode to another. My first thought was that music does this to me in general, evoking strong emotions within me. Then I remembered experiences from my young adult life where I had witnessed deep emotional trauma and pain in others and feeling for them brought on these tears.

Until tonight. For a spiritual coach with thirty years of studying and exploring other religions, old spiritual and new age teachings and quantum and metaphysics, you could argue, I have to have a thick skull for it to take so long for the penny to drop. But it’s not about analytical deduction and intellectual knowledge, rather than the coping mechanism I had cultivated in my childhood and youth to survive the onslaught of emotional trauma and pain I experienced at the time. I had buried that pain under layers of living everyone else up to ensure no one would ever have to endure the kind of pain I had lived through that derives from being rejected, mentally and emotionally violated and being unloved.

Yes, that’s a noble thought and motivation for my work as healer and coach, as well as a cornerstone of my self-image as a mother and friend, but it also stopped me from giving that unconditional love to the one person who needed it most: Myself!

Projection and deflection are powerful tools in suppressing pain and numbing it to the point where you are able to “function” despite it. They are crutches, drugs, and it is no wonder, a series aimed at teenagers was the trigger I needed, combined with music, most of which called up memories from my past as well because the deepest cuts I sustained happened in my childhood, teenage years and young adulthood.

I released my 29th published book, ,Ria, the second novel in ,The Milf Diaries series, on my dad’s 80th birthday. He doesn’t know because we no longer have direct contact. It wasn’t an act of defiance I needed to symbolically slap him in the face with to say, “You said I was never good enough for anything but look at what I achieved.”

I no longer need his approval that has never been forthcoming, anyway, to validate my self-worth. I did it for me, as a symbol of inner liberation and a testimony to my inner strength that made me rise above adversity and succeeding despite it. I didn’t let my dreams be crushed. I didn’t let my spirit be subdued. I didn’t allow the rejection to make me hard and bitter. It taught me the value of unconditional love and even though it took me nearly half a century, it taught me to love and trust myself every day a little more.

You could argue, Glee was a coincidence. I call it a miracle. And if it takes a bunch of ancient Goddesses and a modern high school musical series to break down my walls, so be it. God works in mysterious ways and so do the manifestations of the subconscious. Between Netflix, late-night chats with Stephanie in Texas and feeling too exhausted (two weeks of flu can really take it out of you) to do any work, it did the thing.

Who am I to judge? Only to discern which is, incidentally, the true root meaning of the word, not sentencing, punishing or viewing and treating with prejudice. Linguistics is a whole other topic that is so worth exploring in relation to how we talk to ourselves and others, how we use language. I won’t digress further into this here, merely giving you a nudge to do some research of your own to create greater awareness if that’s what you’re after.

Last night when the tears flowed and so many puzzle pieces fell into place when I allowed my pain to come up and be felt to be able to let it go, at least some of it, I finally understood what I was meant to do as an author and a spiritual coach and healer. I am going to combine both, really combine them. I don’t mean weaving in Goddess themes or “hot topics” like “taboo subjects” to create greater awareness, compassion and tuck in some deeper layers into a steamy love story as I have already done all along.

I mean, I have a new vision and it feels finally right. Perhaps, it is not a coincidence that this little German woman here was finally able to unify so much within on our German national holiday, the ,German Unity Day when Eastern and Western Germany became one again. Microcosm and Macrocosm. How fitting.

Finally, it doesn’t feel like I have to spread myself thin between both but I will use one to work with and promote the other, so instead of running two businesses parallel, I a running one, no holds barred. So watch this space because tonight, a phoenix was born!

To find out more about the creation of this book and to order your own copies, visit the ,page for How Picasso Makes You a Genius.

To find out more about The Milf Diaries series (and don't forget to check for updates every so often), visit my website ,page for The Milf Diaries.

Watch this video of people in Berlin on the night of 9th November 1989 crossing the border and celebrating their freedom. These pictures went around the world. The wall fell, the most poignant symbol of not only the Iron Curtain but of oppression and thought control in the world at the time. Some Germans had never met their relatives on the other side, some had been kept apart for years. Germany (and this includes myself) watched on, live or on TV and there weren't many eyes left that remained dry.

The Wall had not only been a physical construct in a geographic location. It had divided the heart of our nation, of individuals and the heart of freedom. I still can't watch this without crying. When you do, think about this long and deep of where you have built or are building walls in your own life. Tear these walls down. Your heart will thank you for it.

https://youtu.be/qMtSisXjYZo

Book Bloggers & Authors: A Match Made in Heaven

In my Facebook group ,Tirza’s Bookstore Laura D. Child, book blogger extraordinaire, dear friend and owner of ,The Magic Book Corner offers a free review raffle each Friday for fiction books written by Indie authors. Authors can comment under the relevant post with the links of their books in the comments and Laura will randomly draw one to read and review. In the group’s announcements, there are a couple of posts detailing this and also a short tutorial on how and why to shorten your ,Amazon links.

Laura posted an explanation on what and why she does what she does. Here is her post she shared on her social media accounts as well as in the group:

This seems to be a thing so I want to make it clear.

I DO NOT CHARGE FOR REVIEWS AND FEATURES

In fact, whenever I can, I try to get a hold of the books to review by myself. If they're on Kindle Unlimited I get them from there. It's easier for me to post a review on Amazon since the platform allows it and it is good for the authors too. And I am huge Indie author supporter. My feed is proof enough of this. I may be late at times reviewing because of the huge amount of review requests I get. But I always get to the book in the end.

I even have this review program running with the lovely ,Tirza Schaefer in her ,Facebook Group Tirza's Bookstore . Every week a post is uploaded where authors are asked to drop the links for their books to be considered for review. I enter all the titles into a random draw and read/review the one randomly chosen. If the book is on KU, I take it from there. If not, I ask for a review copy.

Additionally, I always pick one book that appeals to me personally that week. Which means there are two books I read and review every week for this program. All for free. Why? Because I can and because it's a good thing to do.

Do I ask for anything in return? No. But I do appreciate sharing if the reviews are good. When an author shares one of my reviews, to me that means the review matters. It means it was liked and appreciated. And there is nothing better for a blogger like me than to see a little quote from one of the reviews up on the cover of a book or on a promo poster. Because that means the review was awesome!

So keep a watch for the Friday posts and drop your links in the comments. If your book is not selected, there's always a chance next week. You don't need to stick to one book alone, either. If you have more, post them. Even if I have already reviewed one of your books I will welcome the link for another in the next week's post. I don't mind reading more titles from the same author. Especially if I loved one of the books.

The posts are uploaded weekly. Every Friday. And they are always pinned to the top. You have time from Friday to Sunday every weekend to enter that week's draw. Hugs and light everyone and happy reading!

Laura xoxo

This is a wonderful way of not only giving an insight into a book blogger’s world who is passionate about her work and delivers the same high standard quality she seeks in a book. And I honestly find Laura’s reviews the most outstanding I have ever read. They are detailed but don’t contain spoilers. They grab you and tell you what to expect, as well as making your mouth water with wanting to know more and wanting to read the book.

To offset all this amazing information she provides above, I added my own perspective as an author to it and would like to share both views in this blog for easy reference, educating the reader on the importance of bloggers for authors and how this relationship can benefit both sides.

First of all, I'd like to say how much I appreciate Laura’s great work and its quality. Even amongst professional bloggers (and that's got nothing to do with income derived or not but expertise in the area you're doing the work in) Laura is a shining star. As an author, I have read through so many book bloggers' profiles to see if they would be a match to like my books and might want to read and review them.

Before Laura, I've not come across anyone who could compare to her. That's why I've also invited her to be part of my Facebook group Tirza’s Bookstore as admin and resident book blogger. I'm not saying this because she is. There's a big difference. That she’s become a valued friend and I have been fortunate enough to glimpse behind the scenes and see what an amazing person she is, is an added blessing this has resulted in.

As an author, I would also like to impress on every author who may not be aware of the importance a blogger's review has. First of all, the blogger sharing their review on their social media gives your book exposure like you could never do yourself. Look at Laura's Instagram profile @magicbookcorner and see the engagement rates she has. Each post is liked several hundred times, she gets so many comments not only from authors and readers but also fellow bloggers. So if any of them likes her review well enough, they might want to read and review your book as well. More exposure.

A review from a book blogger carries more weight because it is independent and cannot be misconstrued by anyone as a friend doing you a favour. Bloggers of QUALITY like Laura have INTEGRITY and won't give a bad book five stars only because you asked nicely (or even paid them). They take their work very seriously and their reputation as well! On top of that, look at the way these reviews are written. And even though Laura is pretty much in a league of her own, other bloggers also write very good and detailed reviews. Potential readers who read their reviews will often base their buying decisions on them because they feel they can now make an informed choice about a book by an author they don't know yet. I know that because as a reader, I am reading a lot of reviews as well to see whether I'd like a certain book.

Moreover, if you share the review of the blogger around your social media and engage on their posts, this has several benefits:

More exposure of your book.
More potential new followers.
More potential sales, readers and reviews.
Happy bloggers who will be happy to review your next book as well because they feel appreciated and might recommend you to fellow bloggers as someone who shows them appreciation in return which also results in more exposure for them.
Having a quality blogger review will lend more importance and give more credit to you as an author and increase people's confidence in the quality of your work.
Don't be shy to ask the blogger about how you can improve your work. They will be happy to share their expertise with you and feel you take their advice seriously, which will not only make you a better writer but will also show how serious you are about your craft and dedication to it.
You have great quotes as content for your social media feeds.

I think the above is quite a convincing catalogue of points, don't you agree? So never underestimate a good blogger of quality and integrity and the wonderful relationship bloggers and authors can have that both sides can benefit from so enormously.

Follow Laura on Social Media

,Website – ,Instagram – ,Goodreads – ,Facebook Page

To follow Tirza on social media, please refer to the links on the footer of this website and check her ,Linktree for current promotions and the latest newsletter.

Power Animal Meditation: Turtle

,Read Tirza Schaefer's books here.

Turtles have been around since the times of the dinosaurs and nowadays, there are over 350 living species of turtles on the planet. The largest of these is the Leatherback Sea Turtle and weighs in at 2,000 pounds. Sea turtles can stay underwater for 4 to 7 hours before they need to come up for air. A couple of Russian tortoises have even helped modern science by being the first vertebrates (living creatures with a spine) that flew to the moon and circled it.

,Read Tirza Schaefer's books here.

As a power or spirit animal, Turtle stands for longevity. This is the case in most mythological traditions around the world. And science has since backed it up. Turtle’s internal organs do not age. They are the only animals where this happens so the fountains of eternal youth may well be in this animal’s genome.

In practical matters, Turtle teaches us to forget deadlines and slow down. But slowing down doesn’t mean suppressing restlessness but rather embracing restfulness. It means to take your sights off the far horizon, concentrate on and be fully immersed in the here and now. You now have the time and focus to pay attention to detail, to be diligent and caring for even small matters and to develop an even temper.

To learn more about this Power Animal and use its energy in your meditation and self-reflection, click here:

,Turtle

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#poweranimal #TirzaSchaefer #AuthorTirzaSchaefer #Tirzabooks #PowerAnimalMeditation #Turtle #wisdom #longevity #patience

Book Review: Family Matters by Robert Ullrich

I have just finished reading ,Family Matters - Evolution of a Killer, Book 2 of the Lazarus Chronicles, by Robert Ullrich and found it absolutely thrilling! Usually, I start with the first book in a series but for some reason ended up with book 2 and read it anyways. It was absolutely thrilling. I love the character of the hired killer, Lazarus and the way his mind works. The plans he comes up with, the connections he has and the people he loves in his life. Unconditional loyalty is a trait that is not easy to find these days and this man has it in abundance. Maybe that was the most outstanding character trait I loved about this man but also his intelligence, wit, humour and inventiveness.

In Family Matters, the author takes you on a journey of thrilling adventures, family love and debased cruelty of killers, such as a drug cartel boss, a psychopath, but also a professional killer whose humanity and love for the people closest to him stands in stark contrast to his professional life and his predatory nature. And yet, they seem to all have room in the one heart. The one thing I found challenging was my ignorance of military terms which had me look up things more than once but that did not lessen my joy in the story.

Lazarus is definitely a bit of a modern-day James Bond who has elected to work for the dark side. He has a beautiful woman he adores, friends he is close to and people who work for him that are loyal to him to the death. At the same time, Lazarus is not a fixed character and overly heroic in the sense that he would be too perfect. He has very real feelings and over the course of the book, the development of his character spans an arc of ignorance of his own feelings to realising that the people you love most, even though you are not related by blood, are your family and are loved just as fiercely as such.

I also enjoyed the supporting cast a lot, General Fischer, the "Team" of unique characters working for the military but are borrowed from the general for Lazarus' operations to rescue and avenge a friend who has been kidnapped by Los Zapatos, a Mexican drug cartel. And being German myself, the gay explosives expert who likes to flirt and make semi-x-rated remarks has given me many a chuckle and added enjoyment of this tale.

As I said upfront, this is Book 2 of the series and I had not read Book 1. However, that is now on my TBR and I am looking forward to reading it as well.

Family Matters is a strong story of a man with principles who proves that the world isn't only black and white and has well deserved the five stars I've afforded it.