Lindsay Detwiler's Blog, page 36

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Wishing a happy birthday to my mom today! Hope you have a wonderful day :)

Loneliness is a Cause, Not a Symptom

Our society, crumbling and deteriorating, has been plagued with suffering. Death, destruction, hate crimes, tragedies, and violence seem to underscore the state of humanity. All around, people are suffering from loss and harm. Among these issues, a common thread seems to be surging in our culture, especially in our youth: mental illness.

I spent the day in a truly fascinating in-service, learning about suicide prevention and mental health issues. As a teacher, I know for a fact there are a lot of students suffering the quiet battle, dealing with mental and emotional issues we can’t even fathom. With these issues, loneliness and isolation are often listed as symptoms.

But, if you think about it, I think loneliness, isolation, these are not just symptoms. For many, it’s the other way around. Loneliness and isolation are leading to issues with mental well-being, which in turn leads to bigger issues.

This is not to detract from the fact that mental issue is a true problem or diagnosis; it definitely is. But today, as I heard about suffering and issues, I realized how loneliness and isolation seem to be a common thread in those troubled by issues.

It makes sense. As humans, aren’t we wired to desire acceptance? Don’t we all crave connection, relationships, and friendships? In short, don’t we all want to feel something, to have others feel something for us?

Isolation isn’t the sole root of our society’s issues, and loneliness isn’t the only cause of mental issues. But I can’t help but think that if we could tear down a few barriers, focus on eliminating the distance between all of us, we could combat some of our society’s issues as well. At the very least, we could help some of our struggling adolescents find their place in the world, a place a little bit more welcoming and inviting than what we often offer.

The biggest message I learned today, whether dealing with someone who is suicidal, abusing substances, suffering from loss, or diagnosed with a mental issue, is that support is the most important thing. It doesn’t matter what you say as much as the fact you acknowledge the issue, acknowledge the feelings, and acknowledge that the person isn’t alone.

I think it’s a good message for every human being to internalize, teacher or not. Life is a raging battle everyday. No one should have to fight it alone. If you have been blessed, like me, to have suffered few hardships in your life, try to seek out those who may be feeling isolated, like losing hope. Sometimes it’s just a small connection that can lift a spirit, restore hope, and save a life.

Lindsay Detwiler

Enter to Win One of Three Copies of Voice of Innocence

Head to the Tome Tender Blog to checkout a fabulous post about me, my novel Voice of Innocence, and, most importantly, a chance to win one of three e-book copies of the book!

Click HERE to check it out. Thanks to Tome Tender for the beautiful feature!

Lindsay Detwiler, Voice of Innocence

Reach for the Stars…or Mars: Why Andy Weir is My New Writing Hero

“I’ll never get a book published.” “I can’t do this.” “Self-publishing never works out.”

As a new author, I’ve felt these ideals and heard them from writing friends. But this morning as I watched The Today Show, Andy Weir slammed all of these concepts into the dust of Mars.

Andy Weir started his career as a part-time blogger, thinking publishing was outside of his realm. As the interview on the show discussed today, he still had a passion for writing. Thus, he decided to serialize his book, The Martian, on his blog. When he eventually built a following over the three years it took him to write it, he ended up self-publishing on Amazon. Making thirty cents in royalties a book, he became a bestseller. Now? The Martian is hitting cinemas across the nation.

Every writer hears hundreds of pessimistic comments and stories. We hear about the thousands of writers who are the proverbial “starving artist,” how you can’t make a living writing. But Andy Weir reminds us all that sometimes…it just does work out. I love that Andy Weir underscores that traditional published or self-published, it doesn’t matter: what matters is the passion for the writing and how it connects with fans.

I also love that Andy Weir used his money to make a significant first purchase—a meteorite from Mars.

I think it is important as writers to be realistic and understand that becoming a bestseller takes a lot of hard work, perseverance, and luck. But I think it is equally important to focus on the successes so we never stop believing. Andy Weir’s story may just be the inspiration you need to keep going, to keep writing, and to keep dreaming. The stars and even Mars might not be out of your reach.

For an excerpt from The Martian by Andy Weir, click HERE.

Lindsay Detwiler, Voice of Innocence and Without You

It Cosmetics Mascara

Ulta’s Beauty Steals= new brands in my cosmetics cases. I already told you I spend way too much money at Ulta. This is especially true when the Beauty Steals are running. A new deal everyday–I simply cannot resist! That’s why I was so excited to see the It Cosmetics mascara on the sale on Friday.

I’ve heard great things about these products, and since my Too Faced mascara was on empty, it was perfect timing. I gave the mascara a test drive today during our town’s Harvest Fest.

What I loved about this product:

Cruelty free! Check out the huge bunny on the package. Cruelty free makes me so happy. Thank you It Cosmetics for being devoted to this!
My eyes didn’t itch. I have super sensitive eyes…almost every mascara bothers them. This product is still on (twelve hours now), and I haven’t had any problems with my eyes itching or watering, even with contacts in.
NO flaking: My lashes still look perfect from this morning. No crumbs under my eyes, no smudging…awesome!
The grip on the wand: I love that there is a squishy material on the lid, making it super easy to grip during application. What an awesome idea!
The fullness of my lashes: It truly does make your lashes look full without looking spider-like.

I paid only $12 for this product on the Ulta sale, but it is usually $24. I think it is well worth the price because it is really amazing! Check out the mascara here: It Cosmetics Mascara

I’m hoping to purchase the It Cosmetics foundation next. Has anyone tried it? Did you like it?

Lindsay Detwiler

The Moments That Were: Dealing with Death

I owe my crazy cat lady tendencies to my Grandma Dorothy :)

With the scowl of a typical ninth grader and an autumn breeze haunting the air, I blew threw the doorway to be faced with sunken faces: my grandmother had died.

It was on October 1st of my 9th grade year I learned a harsh truth– life is short, and nothing is guaranteed. What feels like a normal day, a boring day even, can suddenly twist into a life-altering moment, a moment of tragic consequence. Everything is methodically plodding along and then . . . bang, everything shifts with a phone call, with a few words, with a heart attack from no where.

My grandma’s death reminded me at a young, difficult age how quickly our loved ones can disappear. Does that mean I became a perfect specimen of humanity and appreciation after that? Absolutely not. I am the first to admit that I take my loved ones for granted on a daily basis. I blow past my husband in the morning, more worried about curling my hair than kissing him goodbye. I don’t listen to every word of my parents’ stories, I don’t hear my grandfather when he’s talking about WWII. I am not perfect, I am not completely aware of life’s preciousness. I have not fully internalized the lesson of my grandma’s death.

But isn’t that a part of being human? Isn’t it our blessing and our curse that we don’t constantly think about our demise, about our loved ones’ potential deaths? Isn’t it the common thread in all of our lives that we become so absorbed with living that we forget about dying?

Looking back, I know there were moments I took for granted with my grandma, moments I didn’t savor the connective memories. But there were also plenty of times I did. I can still remember our trips to the mall when I was young and she bought me Pocahontas figurines because I just had to have them. I remember trips to Dairy Queen and McDonalds. I can still visualize the turtleneck she bought me in sixth grade that I adored–it was covered in gingerbread men. There were laughs and discussions about the future. There were days in the sun, days at the park, days watching soap operas.

Life is short, and it is sad that the woman who loved me so much, the woman who passed her cat-loving genes to me, isn’t here to see my life now. It is sad to think how many years it’s been since she passed away.

But in life, we must choose to focus on the moments that were instead of the moments that weren’t. We must choose to relish in the fact that our loved ones were here, changed us, gave us memories to cling to. Instead of focusing on the what ifs and the regrets, we must focus on how our lives were changed for the better from their presence.

Lindsay Detwiler, Voice of Innocence

The Last Anniversary by Liane Moriarty

The Last Anniversary by Liane Moriarty

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

“Nothing is rigid. Things change. You can change your mind. You can change your thinking.”

The Last Anniversary follows the story of several key family members and friends involved in the Munro Baby Mystery. Sophie Honeywell, almost forty and single, inherits Connie’s house, one of the key players in the mystery. The story follows Sophie’s adventures in the family of her ex-boyfriend, the house, and the mystery. It’s about love, loss, and women’s issues of all ages.

I am a huge fan of Moriarty. I read What Alice Forgot in a matter of a few days because I adore her storytelling techniques and humor. Unfortunately, this book fell flat for me. Although I liked the different viewpoints and adored Sophie’s character, I just couldn’t get into this book. It took me a long time to read it because I kept putting it down and having to come back to it. I only got really intrigued during the last 90 pages. Even then, I was let down by how the mystery was “solved.” There were also many issues with how believable this novel was. I felt like the mystery itself was extremely far-fetched. Also, I didn’t like how after all of the struggles with love, Sophie finds her answer to her desire to have children too quickly. Grace also has her problems neatly wrapped up at the end. I usually admire Moriarty’s penchant for telling the truth, no matter how harsh. However, in this novel, I don’t think she achieved that with as much success.

I also felt like this book seriously lacked Moriarty’s humor. Usually, I find myself laughing out loud at her books. This book made me smile at a few points, but not nearly as much as the other novels.

I still admire Moriarty as an author and believe she is an amazing writer. I just didn’t find this book to be as good as her other novels. I would recommend reading What Alice Forgot, The Hypnotist’s Love Story, or Three Wishes before this book.

View all my reviews

Running With the Big Dogs

Sauntering down the Tiger Paw Path, Henry and I glance at the fading sun in our hometown. His feet, the size of horse hooves if not bigger, tromp along at a methodical pace. This is the moment he waits for all day, skulking by the door until I announce one of the words in his limited vocabulary: walk. At the sound of it, he perks up, running to his leash and the door, waiting to get out of the house, greet the town, and explore.

Henry, as many of you know, is a two-year-old mastiff. He’s around 150 pounds right now and still growing. He is quite a sight walking down the street, a sight often prompting people to ask where his saddle is, how heavy he is, and who is walking whom.

Since Henry was a baby, though, Chad and I have been meticulous in his training. He has attended dog obedience with the amazing Linda Burley for a year and a half, almost non-stop. We expect high standards of behavior from him, never giving him even an inch. When you know your dog is going to be over two-hundred pounds, you can’t afford to be lax. He isn’t perfect, that’s for sure. He’s tried to stand up on people’s shoulders on walks a few times (always men). He’s gotten excited over other dogs and nearly pulled me over. But 98% of the time, he is extremely well-behaved. We’ve had him to crowded events in the diamond, to Petco, and to all sorts of distracting events; he’s been known to lie down in the middle of festivals and take a nap.

Most people greet Henry with excitement, interest, and disbelief. I can no longer just walk through town in scuzzy sweatpants and frazzled hair hoping to go unnoticed. When Henry is along, I am center of attention, like it or not. We’ve met a lot of nice people and had some great conversations prompted by Henry’s size.

However, this is not always the case. There have been moments that Henry has been treated with prejudice just because of his size. We’ve seen mothers scramble with their children, running away from us as if they are running from a werewolf. We’ve heard people tell their dogs and children to stay away or the big dog will eat them (not true—Henry’s favorite dogs are the smallest ones and he adores children. Without prompting, he will lie down when near small children.). We’ve had glowers when we walk by, we’ve had people make scathing remarks about Henry’s drooling face. We’ve had people ask if “that thing” lives in our house. We’ve had people yell that they aren’t walking near “that huge beast.”

Like any parent would, I get angry when people talk about Henry this way. Yeah, he’s a furry, four-legged child, but he’s family. Henry’s honestly my best friend. He comforts me when I’m upset, he is loyal, and I know he would sacrifice his life for our family if he needed to. So when people treat him with disgust, disdain, it irks me. Little do they know how wonderful he is.

I also realize, however, that Henry is a frightening sight. People don’t  know his history, don’t know how hard we’ve worked to keep him under control. A lot of bad dog owners give us all a bad wrap. So if you want to avoid Henry, I get it. I understand if you want your children to ask before petting him (I think that’s a marvelous lesson to teach them). I even get it if you say you could never deal with his drool or let him in your house.

But just know this— a dog’s size isn’t indicative of his demeanor. There are Chihuahuas out there who should scare you more than Henry. So if you see us or any other huge dog sauntering by, it’s okay to be afraid or to even avoid it.

But don’t tell me you think I’m crazy for having a “beast” in my house. Because this “beast” is a better friend than any human friend you could find.

Help Voice of Innocence Win Its First Book Award :)

Hi, friends! Voice of Innocence has made it to the nomination round on The Romance Reviews for the Reader’s Choice Award. I need fifty votes by September 30th in order to advance to the final round. Please help me move Voice of Innocence to the next round by voting for my novel in the Contemporary Romance Category.

Go to http://www.theromancereviews.com/book....
If you don’t have an account, sign up in the upper right-hand corner. Verify your account in your email. Then, return to the Book Voting Tab at the top of the page.
Find Voice of Innocence in the Contemporary category and click “nominate.”

Thank you, as always for your continual support!

Lindsay Detwiler, Voice of Innocence and Without You

Four Dating Tips from Romance Novelist MJ Greenway

I am thrilled to host MJ Greenway on my blog today for some dating tips! MJ Greenway is a fellow author at Limitless. I know I’ll be picking up her novel on October 27th. Check out the bottom of her article for information!

4 Dating Tips from Romance Novelist MJ Greenway

 

By MJ Greenway

Is there anything romantic about first dates or do they just make your stomach gurgle?

The heroine in my romance novel uses a dating app to find potential boyfriends. Finding dates virtually has become common-place but there a few rules that should still be followed when meeting someone for the first time. See tip #1 below.

Before I wrote Dating Maggie, about a twenty-something dating in LA, I had been on a few dates myself. So I’ll share a few tips, that had I known then, might have saved me from a bit of grief.

Meet in a public place. This is common sense for safety, but it can be tempting to meet someone at their place when you feel like you’ve gotten to know them well online. Remember the Craigslist killer? DON’T DO IT.


Don’t let your friends set you up on a blind date on the basis that you are single and so is he. Ask your friends probing questions first. Is he a dog person or a cat person? What part of town does he live in? What does he do? Is he attractive and a nice person? Also, get his first and last name and thoroughly Google it.

If you can’t find a trace of him online, decline. He’s either too old to be internet savvy or on the run and using an alias. One exception to this rule might be if he has a super common last name like Smith. In which case, it might be hard to track down which links belong to him, especially if you don’t know what he looks like. And that reminds me, ask your friends for a picture.

4. Instead of treating a first date like a job interview, ask some out of the box questions. For example: What is your favorite reality TV show? When was the last time you ate a Twinkie? What is at the top of your bucket list? Do you like to fall asleep with the TV on? If he answers yes to the last one, run don’t walk out of the place, unless you also enjoy sleeping with noise and light washing over you.

Postscript: Good luck to those of you in the dating trenches. I think it’s true what they say. If you kiss enough frogs eventually you’ll encounter a prince. For me, thirteen years of dating eventually led to marriage.  And now I must confess that one of the greatest benefits of being married, is not having to date.

In Dating Maggie, an encounter with a hot rancher turns an actress/dating vlogger’s five year plan upside down. MJ Greenway’s debut romance and will be released through Limitless Publishing and available on Amazon Oct. 27, 2015

Learn more by connecting with MJ via social media:

Website: https://mjgreenway.blogspot.com

Twitter: https://twitter.com/AuthorJGreenway

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authormjgreenway