Arlene Manocot's Blog, page 16

Travel Goal in 2020: Romblon?

Where to travel this 2020?
I know that you are also wondering about an answer to this question. Where can we go for our travel goals this 2020? During this time of the pandemic, many of us have already cancelled plans, be it related to our study, career, business, family, and a lot more things. We may feel disappointed by all these, maybe now is not the right time, maybe there is more perfect timing for our plans to happen. We may not understand why, but when it is time all will make sense. 
Every year before the year ends, I travel with a friend and as years go by, a friend turned to friends. We are growing and continue recruiting (that sounds so business-like haha). We like to travel for experience and 'feels'. Our experiences may not be always pleasant, but there are always the fun and happy parts of our journey. Seeing and feeling in the breathtaking view of God's wonderful creation is the best experience we can all share together. Meeting and observing people from different places is also a joy for us. We learn from them and from the places we set our foot on. It is a privilege, and we are thankful to God making these opportunities.        
This year-end travel has been a ritual going on for five years which started in 2015. Travelling to beautiful places was wishful thinking for us until we decided that 2015 should begin the journey and it went on until 2019. Maybe similar to your circumstance, we also silently decided all together (using our telepathic ability haha) that this year 2020 would make the difference. Not pushing through with our travel plans is for the best, and that is also silently agreed upon by everyone. During this pandemic, a lot of people struggle and we are not excused to those challenges. We can only pray and try our best to help others the best we can. We are limited, but we know God is limitless. He is sovereign and still in control. 

This year 2020, we were supposed to go to Romblon, since one of our travel buddies slash colleagues slash friend is from this beautiful place. We are aware of its wonders and beauty through our social media accounts. Photos are posted on the different travel-themed group page on Facebook. We are in awe just by looking at the pictures and we still look forward to seeing Romblon in person, certainly not this year, but we are hopeful this coming 2021. 
So our travel goal in 2020 is at the gym (haha), but we will see you soon Romblon!

P.S. The only thing that was not cancelled in my plans for 2020 is my journey with God. To know Him more and deepen my relationship with Him. We may not know what the future brings us, but you be hopeful because He is faithful. 


All photographs used in this blog entry are from Arra A.

The Jesus Movement by Edward E. Plowman

August 5, 2020, was the day when this book arrived in an LBC branch near our area. This was shipped with the other 21 books. Most of them were preloved and old copies, mostly had tanned pages already, there at least 5 new books out of those 21 books. I was so excited about opening the package in my office/bookstore, I felt satisfied at first knowing I got the best deal for 500 pesos from the purchase I did through one of my personal social media accounts, but gradually as I looked at books I realized that these were not books I saw posted on that social media account of the seller. I began to feel disappointed and dissatisfied with my purchase. My mind was clouded with negative thoughts and I felt cheated. Without confirming and rationalizing my thoughts and conclusions, I sent a message of complaint to the seller and accused him of sending me the wrong bundle of books. Our conversation went on as I continued to lash out my concerns in a manner that was not very nice, yet on the other end, the seller appeared to be calm as he tried to explain and resolve my issues. I was turned off toward myself with the way I dealt with him in those circumstances, I was ashamed of myself for jumping to a negative conclusion. I thought to myself that was not so Jesus-like. As we went on with our conversation, it turned out that I received the correct books we both agreed upon. The original bundle of books I wanted to buy was sold out and he informed me in advance, so I decided to buy a different bundle of books he offered to me. I forgot that part of the deal and was not mindful enough not to jump into wrong accusations. I was so ashamed of myself, I was rude and wrong. All I could think of and do during that time was to apologize and he accepted it. 
Because of that incident, I was reminded again of WWJD which stands for What Would Jesus Do. Before jumping to any conclusion, I should ask this question to myself, if not always, at least most of the time. I was impulsive during that time, I thought I had overcome that stronghold. I know that overcoming strongholds needs moment by moment surrendering to Jesus. Every day, we battle with forces unseen. There is a spiritual war that is happening around us, thus we have to be on guard with God's Word.
The Jesus Movement by Edward E. Plowman is a record of accounts of how people in some parts of America got to know Jesus as the solution to all the problems that the human race faces right now. I would like to see a world where we love like Jesus did, care for others how Jesus did, all the things He did while He was here on earth to set an example for all of us, for our sake. I am aware that it is not that simple, I myself have a lot of struggles and have this uncertainty sometimes if I can be Jesus-like. Yet, I have this assurance that in Him everything is possible. That through Him, it is possible to finish this race if I continue to seek His kingdom first. I try to consistently meditate on the Scriptures day and night and do my journal. These are the little things I do so I can stay on the track and run the race He has set for me. I am trying to live a Spirit-filled life because without it continuing the race will be impossible for me. Only through Jesus, I will be able to go on and finish the race. My prayer always is that I will depend on and trust Him in everything, and obey everything He has commanded me. May I always have a heart that seeks only Him. My LORD and Saviour. The Source of my strength.
Satan may be louder, but Jesus is much, much stronger. Jesus lives and has defeated the enemy. 
The Great Commission~Matthew 28:16-2016 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

when a good God allows rape by Joy Tan-Chi Mendoza

Ever since I got a glimpse of this book at one of the branches of PCBS here in our place, that was maybe 5 years ago when I had the desire to grab that book and walk straight to the cashier to pay for it, and hid it in my bag until I made it to the seclusion of my room at home. That was my plan. A perfect plan to avoid skeptics in noticing the kind of book I just decided to buy. In conclusion, I was ashamed to be seen buying the book, when a good God allows rape by Joy Tan-Chi Mendoza. 
'I was not rape, why would I buy that kind of book,' these were exactly my thoughts. I didn't experience that grave offense from my violator. I was fine. I am still a virgin. There was no penetration that occurred, so I was really fine to compare to what Joy experience from her offenders. I believed I was on the gentler side of the crime. I believed I should just brush it off and move on with my life as if nothing happened when I was just a child when he touched me. We were family after all. I didn't want to cause an uproar, chaos, or anarchy in our family even though we were not on good terms with some of them, still, I didn't want to make an issue about it. The fact that it happened more than two decades ago and that I didn't have any evidence of the incident left fear in me that no one would believe that it happened to me. I was in denial all those years of my inner struggles. 
Years had passed and I grew up with a lot of issues within me, all of them unresolved and unjustified. I never opened to my parents or even to my friends in high school and college, I was ashamed and felt dirty though I continued to thrive. Our family struggled with poverty as they pursued our education, and  I didn't want to burden my parents by telling them all my unresolved and unjustified issues within me. 
I thought I was still pure. Penetration never occurred. If my memory served me right, it didn't happen. Yet he touched me, and that left an unfamiliar sensation. I desired it, to the point of starving and thirsting for that sensation. Yet I never wanted to let anyone touch me that way, ever again. I felt disgusted just thinking about it, a man touching me. I felt gross, dirty, and frightened. Yet I still desire for that sensation. That thirst continued to grow until my adolescent years all the way to my adulthood. The adolescent years let me discovered that God hated what I was doing to myself during one of the many Bible studies I attended, and I was no longer pure, I was a sinner, I was doomed. God would never forgive me. 
I was seeking that One true God in my adolescence, but I kept on sinning. There were times that I felt victorious over that sin yet I always went back to square one every time I gave in to my desire. Yet. Yet, most of the time I gave in and thought that I was a hopeless case, there was no hope for me. I gave up seeking God knowing that I could never win against my earthly desire.
In my adulthood, I felt a little wiser and confident. I had acquired a stable job with a reasonable salary and began to explore the world with a little bit of courage. I had this idea in mind that everything is possible now that I am an adult. I dreamed big and came up with making it big as an author, a writer. I'd like to write stories from my wild imagination. From this writing journey, I discovered that sex is okay from a worldly perspective, but I strongly believed in marriage-before-sex. I kept my chastity and never had a boyfriend. 
I was tormented all those years of dealing with my sin and guilt. There were days I was doing fine and there were also days I was a mess. I had episodes of suicidal thoughts every now and then. I was living a double life now that I looked back at it. I was trying so hard pleasing God in my own way, yet I could not even surrender my earthly desire. 
At this point in time, I still have struggles but I am no longer alone. I am fighting a good fight with my Savior and Redeemer, the perfecter of my faith, Jesus Christ. He has saved me and forgave all of my sins from the past, present, and future.  I no longer running the race on my own strength, but with the strength that is found only in Jesus. He brought me out of the darkness, and shed light on my life. 
When a good God allows rape reaffirms that my God is faithful to those who love Him. That my struggles and the pain it caused me are nothing compared to what He has in store for me. He is a faithful and purposeful God. 
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.~Romans 8:28

By the River Piedra I Sat Down & Wept by Paulo Coelho

1 By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept    when we remembered Zion.2 There on the poplars    we hung our harps,3 for there our captors asked us for songs,    our tormentors demanded songs of joy;    they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”
4 How can we sing the songs of the Lord    while in a foreign land?5 If I forget you, Jerusalem,    may my right hand forget its skill.6 May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth    if I do not remember you,if I do not consider Jerusalem    my highest joy.
7 Remember, Lord, what the Edomites did    on the day Jerusalem fell.“Tear it down,” they cried,    “tear it down to its foundations!”8 Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction,    happy is the one who repays you    according to what you have done to us.9 Happy is the one who seizes your infants    and dashes them against the rocks.~Psalm 137
By the River Piedra, I sat down and wept. It is a fascinating fact that this same phrase is based on a chapter from the book of Psalm. I still find it interesting that Paulo Coelho entangled his books with the writings in the Bible. All the books I read from him offer a lot of possibilities and wonders in the physical and spiritual world. Though his books are fiction philosophical in nature, it is a delight to devour and be devoured in his fascination with spiritual forces in the physical world. I am both entertained and educated every time I read and finished his books. 
By the River Piedra, I sat down and wept. Pilar is me: a girl who had her first love in her childhood days or must I say crushes in my elementary days and a woman who is in denial of the love she still has for the same guy she fell in love with when she was just a child. Well as for me I am a woman who waits for her God's best as of now, after all my conscious effort of doing my way to find the one, I let Him take over and do His way. It was not easy surrendering this desire, I still struggle with letting Him take over this aspect of my life. Yet, I believe He knows better than me, and what's best for me.
By the River Piedra, I sat down and wept. The road to acceptance is never easy same as surrendering. To accept that you cannot do it on your own strength is a sign of weakness in this world and that surrendering is a result of that weakness. Yet, I beg to disagree. Surrendering takes a lot of strength and bravery, again I say, it is never ever easy. But with love everything is possible. That kind of love that surpasses all understanding. That kind of love that brings you peace amidst trouble. The love that can only be found in Him. Pilar accepted and surrendered and fought for her love. 
By the River Piedra, I sat down and wept.     

Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho

I don't like this. I feel so naked reading this book. It's like a reflection of a life I have never ever lived if He was never been there for me, because of Him, someone so much greater than me who guides and directs me to where I should go. If He was not there I would have been like Maria, a girl with dreams, so eager to embark to any adventure life in store for her and marry the prince charming she always yearned for, be married with the man she was destined to be with for the rest of her life. 
I was Maria, I think, some part of me is Maria. She represents us, women, some tiny bit parts of her life in this story, Eleven Minutes, is without a doubt a representation of what we aspire and experience in our lives. When she met Ralf Hart, it made all the difference. The tragedy that was about to fall to Maria vanished upon his existence in her life. He saved her. Just like how she saved him.  They compliment each other. In his weakness, she was his strength. In her darkness, he was her light. 
This book has mature contents, not to be recommended to young minds who aren't yet ready to face one of the many realities in life, specifically the harsh ones. There is something redemptive in this story, and that is for you to discover once you read and finish this book. This is a love story, the kind of love you can discover in all facets of life. 

The Beginning

Cleo

This is the end. Finally, I can die, eternally.

Those are the exact thoughts of Eve when she took over my body. Fully taking over my body signals the beginning of the end. She can finally possess the death that has been elusive in her entire existence here on earth. She has been reincarnated over and over again. Repetitively, feeling the pain and suffering caused by the betrayal of Adam.  

With Israel and Jesrael's power, they can finally put her to final rest. If all go well, she will sleep for awhile and wait for the rapture and second coming of the King. 

"We can finally put her to rest." Israel looks at Eve with pity and regret. "This is the last time they will die."

"If there is no one to intervene," Jesrael warns him.

"Then, we have to stop him, whoever tries to intervene what is planned to him. That is why we are here for." He tries to convince not only her but also himself.

Someone will definitely try to intervene. He always does. He wants them to suffer, all four of them. Adam and Eve, the mortals who were banished from the Garden of Eden, and the two angels who were supposed to be guarding us, Israel and Jesrael. They are in this repetitive cycle of living and dying inside the bodies of the chosen vessels every generation, every time they try to end their misery, that despicable entity always prevails in keeping them from dying, physically. She never understood his purpose of keeping them alive, the endless repetition of reincarnation. Their spirits never sleep, never cease to exist in this cruel world. The pain and suffering continue to haunt their souls.

"We have to stop him or else, our spirit will never rest." Israel's eyes burn with determination as he stands beside the restful body of Eve lying on a comforter. 
"You have to stop him, Jesrael, no more playing lukewarm if you don't want to stay here on earth for another millennium."

"Alright! I know that already, don't nag me. I won't fall for his trap this time. And I know that this is our last chance." A bit irritated, she cannot blame Israel for specifically reminding her what might happen if she plays lukewarm. She will not let her feelings for Adam to get in the way of a chance to return to the Creator.

"It's game time."

Eve's eyes open once she heard his voice. It is Ikeda or more like Adam. He is here. His presence suddenly appears without a single hint.

"Why you're late again," Jesrael complains

"I ain't. I've been since you arrived with Eve." He responds casually putting his arm on her shoulders.

Her heart beats as if it is going to burst. Her mind is in chaos, and she cannot even think straight. Her husband is here, the one she loves and cherishes, the flesh of my flesh. She feels power coming out from her body.

Hearing Adam and Jesrael casually talk brings familiar pain inside her, and she hates that. Millenia had passed and she thought she is over with the feeling the night she learned her husband's infidelity. She moved on, that's what she thought so.

"She's awake."

When Will You Choose Me? by Neil Jed Castro

When Will You Choose Me? is my third book from Neil Jed Castro. His style of poetry does not have rhyming per se, and his works are poetic in their on way. I also posted a little about his two other books that I already read here: https://arlenemanocot.blogspot.com/20... 
I was thinking how should I say it, but this recent work of his is somewhat not that appealing to me compare to the first two books I read from him. The contents are quite shorter than the other two: Maybe You'll Love Me When I'm Gone and What If It's Too Late. I feel bitin after reading When Will You Choose Me? I was expecting more since the first two set a standard of my expectations. 
Nevertheless, I enjoyed reading this book. It reminded me of the mistakes and good things I made and still doing in the present. I got to reminisnce the time when I did not choose myself. Sometimes there is beauty in choosing and not choosing yourself, and we have to be reminded that everything is a double edged sword just like that in choosing ourselves, there will always be consequences. I hope you make the right choice of choosing yourself, and that it makes you happy. 

Letters of Solana by Joena San Diego

This is my first book from Joena San Diego. She was recommended to me through a comment on my Youtube channel. I got interested, yet months have already passed before I got this book from a sale on an online shop. 
I was expecting something poetic like the ones I read from Lang Leav and Dawn Lanuza. Though my expectation was not met, Letters of Solana did not fail to invoke feelings, the good ones, in me. It is poetic in its own way. It's inspiring and refreshing at the same time. It talks about forgiveness and redemption. It's spiritual and realistic. I am blessed to have read this book. Every letter in this book hits the right spot, a gentle reminder to anyone who struggles in this race called life. I highly recommend this book if you are seeking something spiritual and realistic that may bring some realization in your troubled mind, this is the one. 

The Devil and Miss Prym by Paulo Coelho

Fun. Intriguing. Exciting. Good. And evil.
Chantal Prym is young woman who lives in the small town of Viscos. He met the stranger who brought along with a devil. 

The cruelty and injustice in the world occurs in eveyone's life every now and then like it is a normal thing to happen in our everyday life. The good and evil the dwell in us fight to see who wins and takes ground of a petty humans like me. This eternal battle between good and evil has been taking so long and sometimes I ask God when is this going to end. When are we going to be freed from traps set by the devil so we can fall to sin again and again? And that makes him happy. Taking us with him to his fall and condemnation, he wants us, the humans so loved by God, to befall on the same horrible fate he is destined to end with because of his greed and jealousy. 

...for it wasn't a temptation, it was a trap.

The Fifth Mountain by Paulo Coelho

The Fifth Mountain by Paulo Coelho is a retelling of the story of Elijah. His story is written in the Old Testament of the Bible. He is a prohet of the One God of Israel and has performed miracles permitted by the One True God. 
Before I continued on reading this retelling by Paulo Coelho, I read first the account of Elijah in the book of Kings of the Old Testament. I know Elijah by name and as the prophet of One God who performed miracles, but I have not yet fully read his account on the Bible not until I picked this book from the Deluxe Collection of Paulo Coelho's book set. And I am glad I read it first.
The Fifth Mountain is the best read I have so far from Paulo Coelho's works. Best of the best. 

"The Lord is stern.""Only with those He has chosen."