Arlene Manocot's Blog, page 13

He Stayed Silent

A sad news is never a good news. It is heartbreaking and tear-jerking news to receive early in the morning, and processing it entails wisdom, prayer, and surrendering to the LORD. 
It is a truth that everyone will die. Each of us has a time destined to meet with our Creator, and also when and how He planned it to happen. But no matter how much truths are there in death, we as humans are not exempted from the fear and anxiety that comes with it. 
These past few weeks have been filled with anxiety at home. We were all sick and have similar symptoms of CoVid. We had colds, coughs, lack of appetite, and everything we ate was tasteless. My mother had it the worst. She was weak and could no longer do the things she used to do at home during those moments. It was very hard for me to see her eating so little and being so weak that she ended up laying on the bed. My father and I tried our best to function at home and did the household chores my mother used to do for us. The whole situation took a toll on me that there were times that I just cried while looking at my mother,  during webinars, or while doing paperwork. I even got angry at my sister because she acted like she did not care at all about the whole situation we were in as if we were not part of her life. 
We tried taking over-the-counter medicines like paracetamol and expectorant, and multivitamins. They worked for me and my father, but not for my mother. Her fever and the persistent cough kept on pestering her for days. She could not even eat properly to nourish her body and give her strength.
My father was hesitant to bring my mother to the hospital due to the pandemic. We have this notion that if someone has symptoms similar to the CoVid there is a big chance to be admitted to the hospital and stay quarantined away from us. Hospital expenses are one thing to be concerned about, but I was more afraid that my mother had to stay in a hospital where nothing was certain and she was not with us. I was praying to God to heal my mother and never to go to a hospital, but He stayed silent and I never ceased praying and crying out to Him. 
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To be continued...

Hooked by Ernie Hollands with Doug Brendel

I don't know where to start, all I can say is that I was hooked. 

Hooked by Ernie Hollands with Doug Brendel is a book testimony about transformation. The kind of transformation that is only possible through Jesus Christ.
A man's life that once was lived and rejoiced in the evil and darkness transformed drastically when he met Christ. His life journey was never easy just like how most of us made it through before knowing Jesus, 
Reading Ernie Holland's story will remind us of Romans 8:28: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
That is hopelessness there is hope in Jesus Christ, and we have an assurance that all things will fall into their rightful places in God's perfect timing. He is sovereign, in control. He can make all things new in our lives just like how many of us were transformed through Jesus Christ. 
2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."
All in Jesus' name!

Calamansi Tree: It is Not Yet Its Season

It is harvest time! At last, the time has finally come that I get to reap some fruits of our humble Calamansi Tree. I have been eyeing those little round green fruits for quite some time, maybe months. I thought I would never see our Calamansi tree bearing fruits again. Thoughts like it were just a one-time fruit-bearing tree flooded my mind, and that discouraged me from hoping I would ever see a single fruit in that little tree. 
We bought the Calamansi tree from my mother's churchmate. Though I planned to gain a tree by planting seeds and that did not push through. Instead, we decided to grab the opportunity of buying a grown-up tree. 
I was fascinated with the fruits it already had upon getting the plant and hopeful for a fruitful future for the Calamansi tree. There were only a few fruits when we acquired the tree, not more than 7 fruits I guess. After harvesting the initial fruits of the newly bought plant, months passed yet it did not show any sign of bearing fruits. I didn't see flowers. I kept on telling my concerns to my mother and father from time to time and the usual response I got was that it was not yet its season. I understood it but that didn't stop me from asking them when it was going to be its season. I was getting impatient which was not a good sign. 
Days, weeks, and months passed by and I completely discarded my issue with the Calamansi tree, I got busy with other important things. 
One time at school, I heard my colleagues discussing plants since it has been a trend during this time of the pandemic. Plantita and Plantito have been all over the places and the trend also gave opportunities for some to start a small business by selling plants. 
I acquired some useful tips from their discussion about fertilizers. I am for organic fertilizers. One of my colleagues mentioned that she used tea as fertilizer. I thought that was perfect since we have and usually drink tea at home. 
At home, I gathered all the used tea in a mesh I kept in the refrigerator and went upstairs where our plants are located. I was so oblivious as I confidently sowed the teabag on the soil. That was an easy job I thought. 
But I did wrong. I realized that one time when my colleagues were having a small talk again about plants. Well, it had been a consistent topic among them for quite some time. I was supposed to remove the mesh and let the ground leaves dry. I should have not just throw them on the soil. I learned my lesson and removed the mesh when I got the chance to do it at home. 
If my schedule permitted me, I watered the plants every morning, trimmed dried leaves or stems, and whispered some encouraging words to them, especially the Calamansi tree since I was looking forward to getting the fruits. 
Before March ended, I did not miss the opportunity to harvest the fruits of the Calamansi tree with joy and excitement. I only picked the ones that I thought were ready for this season.  
I also learned another lesson from my father, he was happy when he saw the harvested fruits, yet he noticed that I cut some fresh sprout leaves which could have been another set of fruits for the next season. There are still some fruits left to ripe and grow a little bigger and rounder, so next time that it's their season to be harvested I'll be careful not to pluck any potential fruit-bearing leaves and stems. In total, we got almost a quarter of 1 kilogram. Not bad. 

What I realized from this experience is that waiting isn't such a bad idea if done properly. Waiting isn't doing nothing. Waiting requires patient. And patient is long-suffering while you wait expectantly with joy, hope, and faith that everything will work together for good for those who love Him. Your waiting season is never wasted, so keep on moving towards Him.

Monkeys Above the River

Look! There is a monkey suspended in the air holding on the bridge. Was I looking at myself? Of course, I was not. I am a human being and I am sure of that. More so, I beg to disagree with the theory of Charles Darwin. 
I also questioned the meaning behind the name of one of the activities we did when we hiked Mt. Manalmon and Mt. Gola. I was curious. I thought maybe there were a lot of monkeys in the area before because we did not see a single monkey in the mountains. But not until we arrived at the jump-off of the Monkey Bridge. We saw a monkey on mental chains. I guess it was a pet and displayed there to justify the name of the suspended bridge made out of two paralleled thick metal wire rope. 
For safety, a harness supported each brave soul to cross the Monkey Bridge. As I began crossing the bridge, everything felt shaky. I could not control my strength as I held on to the thick metal wire rope. I kept on making the same mistake of lifting up my feet one at a time and landing them on the wire rope beneath my feet at the beginning of my journey towards the other end of the Monkey Bridge. 
It was shaky, I felt it and also attested by my friend who was next to me. I tended to look at the river below us, but it was not helping me achieve my goal so I decided to focus my eyes on the finish line. I was rushing to get on to the other end, yet our tour guide shouted at me and reminded me that I should not rush and stop what I had been doing wrong with my feet. I was taught to slide on the thick metal wire rope, instead of taking a step. It was easier when I slid, and I got to look at the river from time to time and the hanging bridge opposite of the Monkey Bridge.

I was flooded by a breath of relief after reaching the end of the bridge. Inwardly, I congratulated myself and gave her a pat on the back for braving the bridge. I was happy for all of us for reaching the other end of the Monkey Bridge. We also did not miss the chance to get into the river this time. The water was quite decent and clear. We dipped our bodies and cautiously enjoyed the little time we had with the river.

We all face different struggles and challenges in life. I pray that we all get through them and come out victorious through Christ who strengthens us. Sometimes, we are crippled by fear and that is normal, what is not is that we are forever stuck in that same filthy pit we choose to be in because of fear. We are more than conquerors, we are already victorious because God has already gone before us on the battlefield. Conquer your fear! You are not a monkey, you are a human being created in the image of the Most High God! Live a victorious life all for His glory.


Previous: MORE ASSAULTS TOWARDS MT. GOLA


Photos credit to Arra A.

More Assaults Towards Mt. Gola

During the orientation, we were warned that the path towards Mt. Gola was steep, they even called it 'assault'. I was quite expectant of how steep it could be. We were given numbers in degrees but it just slipped my mind.
From Mt. Manalmon, we went down and began our journey to our next stop. I was sweating and breathing hard from the length of our trek. Every step we made was calculated and we tried our best to be mindful of our surroundings the best we could despite the tiredness that was falling upon us. 
There were two little stores we stopped by before we continued on our walk. We rested for a while and had bathroom breaks. We did not miss the chance to try the all-natural buko juice from the heart of the mountain. It felt like our strength was renewed after a short rest and a sip of buko juice.
The best part for me was not the peak of Mt. Gols, it was the river we passed through that captivated me. The tiver was so clear and felt cold on our feet, which was exactly what we needed at those moments because of the sun's relenting strikes on our body. It was shallow and the current was not really that strong. I desired to bath on that part of the river, but it appeared to me that it was not part of the itinerary we signed up for. We moved on our trek and I decided to move on as well with that desire, but I still could not forget that portion of the river.    

After we had been to so many slopes going up to the peak of Mt. Gola, my feet and knees were aching a bit, and I had this urge to get on the top of Mt. Gola as soon as possible to relieve my agony and exhaustion. I wanted it done, finished. Yet, I was well aware that reaching the peak was not that easy, so I had no choice but to continue my journey and never let my frustration get the best of me. I switched from fast to slow pacing and from slow to fast pacing. I was trying my best to enjoy and be thankful for what I have in those moments: my life, nature, my friends who were with me during that hike, my family who were safe at home, all of God's provisions and promises, and of course the greatest gift of all, God, Himself.
 
Life is not an easy hike. We get to face more assaults than we expect to. We may get tired and think we had enough of life. And sometimes we have these selfish thoughts: God does not care about me anymore. He wants to make me suffer. He does not want me to be happy. And I tell you that is very wrong, sometimes we make our own problem and assault the life God has given us to enjoy. I had my fair share of wrong decisions I made in my life, some were influenced by the people who hurt me. I want to break the cycle and make the most out of the life that God has given me. Be freed from the judgment of the so-called human race. I don't want to be assaulted by anyone or even by myself. I will not run away, instead, I will fly and never let others assault my spirit again, all by God's grace. Others may try to break me because I don't conform to their standards, but I pray that God will always let me fly high. Up, up in the sky.  

Sun-Kissed at Mt. Manalmon

Have you ever been kissed? Hush, don't tell. I have. I was kissed by the Sun on the beautiful Mount Manalmon. 
We went to Mt. Manalamon last February 25, the same day as EDSA People Power Revolution Anniversary. 
It was still dark when we arrived at the jump-off. We also had our breakfast there. At four and a half in the morning when everything was still dark, we crossed a hanging bridge. It was a bit scary, but a lot more exciting. The hanging bridge shook a little as we passed by. Under it was a river. The wind was cold. 
Upon reaching the other side of the bride, I saw some sign which read as Biak Na Bato National Park, and I thought the place was part of it. I reminisced about some of the history lessons I had when I was in high school, I imagined the revolution.
After meeting the tour guides and a short orientation, we started trekking even before the sun rose. It was dark and we badly needed headlights, our bad, again, we did not have any. The built-in flashlight in our cellphones helped us a little in getting a clear sight on our track. It was still cold as we went our way. We passed through a short passage of a cave, it seemed beautiful in the dark and again I was in awe as I gazed at the rock formation.
Coming out from the cave, we crossed a little portion of the river. It was cold and felt so, so good. It looked clear to me though it was still dark. The water gently rushed up to my mid-leg. There were stones so we had to be careful and mindful to avoid any potential injury. We were all giddy and excited at the beginning of the hike. 
The slopes were getting steep as our hike progressed. I was anticipating the sunrise and hoping we would reach the peak of Mt. Manalmon very soon.
All I could remember upon reaching the peak of Mt. Manalmon was the breathtaking sight from above: the crowd of trees, the trail of the river, and other land formations covered with greeneries. It was a magnificent view for me and I was sure for others as well.  

We did not miss the chance for a photo op with the rest of the joiners. Honestly, it was a nice group to be with. I am not comfortable meeting strangers, but that group just gave me the good vibes I need to enjoy the hike up to the very end. 

We were sun-kissed at Mt. Manalmon. You should too!


To be continued...

Photos credit to Arra A. & Erist C.

Cave In to the Past

Darkness might provoke in us the fear of the unknown, fear of not knowing what lies ahead in that gray are of our lives, and fear of losing control over the things that matter to us the most. But most of the time, which sometimes entails always, we just have to let go and surrender to the One who is in control.
Trudging our way towards the most anticipated part of the tour, we expectantly moved to the leading of the tour guides. Personally, I was looking forward to the cave and a little bit worried at the same time. It was the cave we were talking about, after all, I had watched movies and television shows to know what might happen inside the cave.
The heat from the morning sun still fried us as we kept up to the pace of the rest of the pack. The cave was not too far from the area where White Rock was situated.  Tallgrasses were on both sides of the trail, some green, some already dried up. I still had my shawl as a protective gear from the scorching heat of the sun.
As we reached the entrance to the cave, there was a mixed of excitement and worry inside me. Fear and anticipation of the unknown. As we began to enter the cave, our pack was giddy, yet the tour guides were on guard and consistently reminded to be careful. We were on the lookout for any rock formation that might hit our heads or any parts of our body. We went up and down as we overcame the boulders and climbed to reach our endpoint.
Inside the cave was total darkness and it was our bad that our group of four did not have any flashlight. Good thing, others from our pack were gracious to share their headlight with us and lit our way as we struggled from almost blindness. One of my friends also used the built-in flashlight on her phone to aid our eyes to the best of its ability and capacity, and we knew how limited a built-in flashlight could do. 
We did not get the chance to take photos inside the cave since we were so occupied conquering our fear of the darkness and overcoming the obstacles towards the exit of the cave. Unlike the time, when we went in Marinduque and sported caving, we had few photos taken inside the cave.

Upon exiting the cave, we were in for a surprise. We were welcomed by a breathtaking view of rock formations. I concluded that the formations formerly catered water, the area must had been a river based on the markings on the stones as if waves hit them over and over again. Another dry area, I thought. It appeared to me like a barren place, a thirsty earth, yet rich with history I might never learn. It also reminded me of the canyoneering we did in Cebu upon reaching the Kawasan Falls for the resemblance of their structure. 
The sad part was there some vandals on the rocks, a part of its past when tourists were frequent in the area. But the good part, on the broad daylight, self-imposed photoshoots were possible.  

Our last stop of the tour ended at the Malangaan spring. It was not clear as I expected it to be. My friend mentioned its greenish color, and that stopped us from enjoying the water from the spring. I was looking forward to a clear water, yet I found none. I did not pursue my wants to try the water, we were already tired and hungry, and salivating for our prepared lunch with halo-halo on the side.
Mt. Secret adventure led us to the places we did expect, yet it brought us to realization and experiences beyond our expectations. We never forget the past, we cave in to the past when the need arises and learn from our past.


Previous: SNOWY-FIREY FEELS ENCOUNTER AT WHITE ROCK


Photos credit to Arra A.

Snowy-Firey Feels Encounter at White Rock

They say opposite attracts. During this season of love, it is a quote that is timely and for a reason, I don't really care and the reason is I am not in a relationship, but I don't want to sound bitter so I hope you have a wonderful day with your lover. There are times when we feel and appear different both at the same time, just like the White Rock appeared and felt different to me. It looks cold yet heat overwhelms a total opposite, but it is undeniably beautiful. I hope you have a wonderful and beautiful relationship despite your differences and imperfections just like the White Rock. 
A few meters from Mt. Secret is a massive rock formation covered with snow-white sand called White Rock. It gives the winter vibes in the desert-like land as we look at the humongous formation. We rested for a few minutes under the shade while waiting for the sun to hide from us and went behind the scarce sea clouds. It took us longer than we expected for Mr. Sun to hold its shine even just a little moment.

The magnificent massive rock formation reminded us of the movies and television shows. The place is actually a good location for shootings action or tribal-themed production. We could imagine actors, directors, and production staff making their way to the place or doing their stuff in the seemingly remote area. One of the tour guides shared with us the information about Ding-dong Dantes shot some scenes for his show Amazing Stories and also Maymay Entrata's movie Princess Dayaries made the place as one of its locations. 

When we thought as well as the tour guide that the sunshine began to be gentle, we continued our journey and started conquering the White Rock.  We were only in the middle of the climb when the sun radiantly smiled on us again. It was already sizzling hot during the climb, and upon reaching the summit, we were met by the scorching sun on the top of the White Rock. The heat was too much to bear and it pricked my skin like needles. Our clothes and my shawl were not enough to protect us from the sun's energy. It did not take long enough for us to decide that it was time to go down. Some sightseeing and picture taking had sufficed our curiosity to the massive rock formation. It was only nine in the morning yet the sun stood too proud on us. 

Humbled by the blazing sun, our group went down while the others sacrificed their skin and allowed the activation of some more melanin for skin protection as they took on the challenge of photoshoots against the proud sun. We sat down on stones under the shade as we waited for the culmination of others' self-imposed photo shoots.
White Rock stands firm amongst the other rock formations. It appears like a fortress all ready to protect anyone who seeks safety and security. It reminded me of our Mighty Rock, Jesus. 

To be continued...

Previous: HUSH-HUSH AT MT. SECRET

Some photos credit to Arra A.

Hush-Hush at Mt. Secret

No secret remains hidden forever, even the unknown Mt. Secret reveals itself to us. And now that I conquered the heights of Mt. Secret, I believe it will strike its popularity among tourists around the world anytime soon.
The first question that came into mind after hearing the name of our next target mountain to climb is why it was named like that and the same question also came out from my friends when we were already having a conversation with the organizer of the joined tour. As far as I could remember we did not receive a satisfactory answer. The organizer just mentioned that it was named by the locals or by the proprietor of the land where the mountain was situated.
Mt. Secret barely stands at San Rafael, Bulacan. It is not the usual mountain we draw on a piece of paper with a perfect cone shape. It is rocky and even has sharp surfaces. I can compare its shape to the Nagpatong Rock in Quezon. They both have the same texture and somewhat similar shape, but Mt. Secret is smaller than Nagpatong Rock.
It is also coined as The Hidden Mountain of Bulacan, and I still wonder why oh why. I failed to ask the locals as I was busy tending myself from the heat and enjoying the journey with my sister, friends, and other joiners of the tour. I thought it was named like that because it is private property or it was only discovered recently and unconsciously kept hidden from the locals and tourists coming from the different parts of the world.

It was a short hike and the easiest mountain climbing ever since I experienced the thrill and joy of hiking in the year 2018. In the darkness and cold air of the dawn, the organizer told everyone during the orientation that the mountain's height was 300 MSL something and perfect for beginners. It was a relief on my part since it was my sister's first time climbing a mountain.
There were boulders and small rocks of Marmol on our way to the mountain itself. Most of the self-imposed photoshoot began in that area. It appeared that mining occurred somewhere near the mountain and we were not wrong. We could hear explosions when we were already on the other top of Mt. Secret where we climbed through via rappelling, and one of the coordinators and other guides of the tour did not keep it a secret to us that quarrying and mining were actually transpiring at that very moment. 

The place appeared to be dry and on the verge of drought, but there was still a remnant of beauty in spite of the dryness. I was able to capture a picture of a flower I usually encounter from the other mountains I had been and the only tinge of color on the vast space of greens, browns, grey, and white. It is only my observation and maybe already a hush-hush among the tourists and the locals. It is like an open secret to everyone who arrived and captured the remnant beauty of Mt. Secret. 
Mt. Secret, the Hidden Mountain of Bulacan, will bare it all to you, the good and its bad sides, the danger and the protection it can provide. All of it, nothing is hidden in the Mt. Secret.

to be continued...

Photo credits to Arra A. 

I Hated School and It is No Longer a Secret

A few hours before our set schedule to embark on our journey to Mt. Secret, a feeling of inadequacy lingered in me. I felt so inadequate not as a person but more of as a teacher. I have taught for almost ten years now and I always felt so responsible whenever my students did not get promoted to the next year level or stop schooling somewhere in the middle of the school year, especially towards my advisory class. Though I tried to contact or home visited them and reason with them about the predicament we were in together, yet the endpoint for both of us was still not good. It hurt me more when the reason behind this is family or personal circumstances which I knew I was not allowed and limited to even cross the line. 
The feeling of being not enough as a teacher is more intense now during the pandemic when modular and online distance learning is being implemented where a face-to-face class is not recommended. I am an adviser again for the school year 2020 to 2021 after two or three years of having none. I have 53 students and the last time I counted them, there are 7 students who do not want to continue schooling. The decision came from the students themselves or from their parents via phone calls I made with them or through the Messenger application.
The desire not to push through with their studies is a saddening reality I can relate to. In my adolescent years when everything confused and overwhelmed me was a time in my life when I kept telling to my parents that I no longer wanted to go to school or I desired to get out of the educational system and felt like it was not helping me or even not good to my humanity and sanity. There were a lot of fears going on inside me. The fear of facing my classmates and teachers or in anyone in that place or more like I just wanted to stay at home, buried myself in front of our secondhand and defective television, and watched anime. Sitting in front of the telly was actually my sanctuary, it was from the anime I watched I got comfort and satisfaction.
I was an honor student during my elementary days and it was a shock of my life when I realized that I could no longer keep up with the performances of my classmates, they appeared more confident than I was. The way they answered in the recitation I just could not match them. They were multi-talented: dancing, acting, singing, name it they knew it. As for myself, I was just a girl who hid and suppressed feelings: the positive and negative, the anger and pain I struggled with. I was just too proud to show them all even at such a young age. Probably, because at home we were not properly encouraged to express our emotions.  I grew timider than I already was. I lost interest in my studies. 
I used to blame my parents for my difficulties in expressing my emotions, but it is no longer the situation now after 15 years. Instead, I feel thankful towards them, despite their own struggle and challenges faced during those times they were able to never let go of me, never got tired of my tantrums, never held back to provide my needs the best way they could. I am most thankful for them teaching me about and believing in God and also for saying 'no' firmly when I cried and begged them that I wanted to stop schooling and I no longer desire to pursue an education. 
Gratefulness is what I have towards my parents. They have never been perfect parents, but I am pretty sure that God gave them to me for they are the parents I need as I live my life here on earth. And as for my students, I still contact them from time to time. Aside from those 7 students, I think half of my class is not regularly submitting their outputs this second quarter, and it is such a letdown. Modules and tablets are provided, and I follow up on them from time to time, but I am positive that there are other reasons behind this situation. They may be having difficulties which are evident with the kind of setup we have right now. They maybe hating school, their teachers, classmates, parents, or even themselves, but I hope they do not give up on their education. It seems not easy right now, yet I know that their hard work will be rewarded. They may not receive the reward immediately, it may take years, decades, centuries, maybe even when we no longer dwell in the physical world. 
But I would like to tell them this: Please believe in this child, you are where you are supposed to be. So don't give up on your education. Time will pass and before you knew it you already graduated and reminiscing the silly things you did. I will always be praying for you, sweet child of God.