Timea Tokes's Blog

Have you ever read Easter Romance?

If people developed a shining towards cute elves and Sexy Santa, then why not like Easter-based roleplay, or things associated with "hiding the eggs in the basket"?

How it all started…

We all have issues and quirks that make us unique and loveable, but what I found during my time as an author is that most of us either feel like we need to hide behind a mask, or that we need to suppress our desires...

Magic, Mystery and Sexual Tension

I believe it was a picture that made things click into place. It was intended to be funny, but to me, it was more bittersweet. In it, two detectives were shaking their heads at a woman who got crushed to death by the books on her nightstand - the ones she piled up for a special occasion, yet never getting the chance to finish them. I decided that I didn't want to be that woman.

Soulmates vs Karmic Relationships in my Books

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So, one of my readers asked the following question: do I use karmic and soulmate/twin flame relationships in my books?

And I must admit, I had to think long and hard on the answer.

Not because I don’t believe in these sort of things, but because I didn’t know the answer. I mean, I always felt like the characters and the stories called out to me in a way, and I felt compelled to write about them, but I didn’t give the why and how much thought.

And now, that I consciously looked back ...

The Influence of a Great Author

Hey guys,

So, I have been getting a lot of questions lately, which is awesome I always love to talk about my craft (as you might have noticed lol), and sometimes it’s good to go back to the very beginning. And, although I have written a few blog posts about the time I started out as an author, my journey (as every other author’s I believe) started way before I put pen to paper. When one of you asked who inspired me to write, I thought I should share the answer with you all.

Knowing that y...

To All The Men I Ever Loved

Hey Guys,

Hope you are all well and enjoying the sunshine (or the rain, depending on where you are). I have been doing a lot of soul-searching lately, and danced in the rain without an umbrella. I know, I know, it’s a crazy thing to do, but it’s fun, nonetheless. Also, rain here isn’t that cold, and when you are down by the sea, looking into nothingness, it makes you rethink your life and all the choices you made.

I am not a fan of ‘could I have done better’ and ‘what if I did this’, but I...

When Things Don't Go Your Way...

Isn't It Ironic...~o~Warning: this blog post lacks glitter, rainbows and unicorns. It does however contain traces of sarcasm, adult references amd mood swings. Remember, you've been warned.I guess we have all been there, done that, have the shirt to prove it. We made mistakes we still regret, made promises we never intended to keep, and never apologised when things went wrong. Yet, at other times, we said we were sorry, even though nothing was our fault. Still, it was easier this way. Maybe we wanted to avoid an argument, or simply grew tired of explaining something that was so out of our hand it hurt. Nobody would understand it anyway, right?Sometimes we got everything we ever wanted, only to realise we didn't need it in the first place. Then there were other times when we wanted something (or someone) so bad it took our breath away. We wished and wished and cried and hoped and wished and cried and hoped some more, yet nothing happened. We ended up going through all the stages of loss, without having that special thing to begin with.What was common in all these situations, you wonder? Well, we eventually moved on. And survived. Even better, we learnt how to live again. Gosh, we might even have smiled and laughed and giggled at all the silly stuff that made sense to us before. But you know what else was common? The fact that there was always going to be a 'before' and an 'after'. Because these moments change us, challenge us to remember them, while we try so desperately to forget. They creep up on us at the most unexpected (and inappropriate) moments. Quite ironic, if you ask me.~o~Why Are You Happy?~o~As I said, this post isn't going to be pretty. But then again, life isn't always a joyride. Sometimes you need someone to tell you it's okay to feel down, even if you don't have a particular reason for it. And you shouldn't need a reason to feel a certain way. That should be your birth right, as natural as breathing. But in reality, that's not always the case unfortunately. Nowadays, people ask 'why' all the time. Not because they care, and this is the saddest part. They simply want to judge. Why have you slept with that person? Why did you shout at your kid? Why did you leave early from work? Why are you happy?Yes, that's the worst question I've ever been asked. As if people who were happy (or sad for that matter) were crazy, out of place. As if people needed to explain themselves. As if they needed to justify their feelings, emotions and actions all the time. What happened to going with the flow? Everyone minding their own business? ~o~Judgement Day~o~If you know me, you know that I don't judge people. I truly don't. And that's why it makes me furious when I see people judge others based on their hair colour, choice in clothing or the way they wear their jeans. I mean, seriously? In a world where everyone is supposed to be equal, we are still tied down by these (sadly) common ideas that things should be a certain way.People tell you that you should mourn the loss of a loved one, but after a certain period of time, they chastise you for not moving on. They are so quick to tell you to leave your partner after an argument, yet they have been single their whole life, constantly complaining how lonely they are. I used to care about what people thought. God, I even cried over it, because I didn't feel like I fitted in. I never wanted the same things as my 'friends', and I wasn't interested in all the gossip and drama. I felt like something was wrong with me, not the other way round.And then I started writing. I found solace in my books, and for some time, I thought I didn't need anyone's approval. And you know why? Because, finally I realised that the only opinion that truly mattered had changed. Yep, as much as I kept telling everyone that I didn't judge them, I did judge someone. Someone really special to me. I judged me.~o~The Real Power~o~Writing erotic stories slowly stripped me of my prejudice towards myself. It taught me how to be strong, but also, how to let go. Things went wrong many times since, but I knew I could always get up sooner or later. I think I learnt the most important thing. As long as I accept the way I am, it doesn't matter what anyone else wants me to feel. Because it's my life, and I have to make my own decisions. And of course, this means I take full responsibility for my actions and bear the consequences.Don't get me wrong, I still say sorry for things I haven't done, and I still make promises I know I won't keep. I make hundreds of mistakes, I love with a passion I can't control, and I mostly fall for people I shouldn't care about. Nothing changed in that department. I'm still human. It's the way I look at it that's altered. I still hit the ground, but I know I will get up. Because I realised that I matter to myself. Yes, I think I finally love myself. All of me, every part. Even my demons, my scars and my insecurities. They make me me. I don't judge myself anymore, and I don't justify my feelings. I try to live in the here and now.~o~To My Future Self~o~I'm not sure who needs to read this right now. Maybe I do, or I will somewhere in the future. So, to everyone out there, who's struggling with what others think (and to my future self): All you have to worry about is to be happy right this moment. That's it. Take one step at a time, and keep going. When things aren't going your way, that's why. And when things are going your way, that's why. You never know what tomorrow brings. And, even if others judge you, remember this: they probably judge themselves, too. Don't help them by judging yourself. Be your own best friend.Love,Timea x

My New Favourite Genre Is...

Spring Into Action~o~Hello My Lovelies! I hope you are enjoying Spring as much as I am. To me, warmer weather has many advantages. Like seeing hunky guys go shirtless on the beach. Or wearing shorter skirts, feeling hotter and sexier. Yes, my blood is always flowing in the right places this time, if you catch my drift. Okay, on a serious note: Spring has always been my favourite season. I love watching nature come alive with colours, blossoming into what it was always meant to be. This time of the year I can totally relate to the Universe, to the World, but most importantly, to myself. Somehow my own desires, wishes and wants become ten times clearer, more apparent. Not to mention that I usually have to act on them as well, and do it fast. Spring is truly a season for action. Yep, that kind of action, too.So much so, that I found out something new about myself only a little while ago. Something I thought I would share with you guys. Of course, in this sense, action only appears in the stories I write and read, but this doesn't make it less alluring.~o~Reluctant at First~o~It was just before Valentine's Day when I found a book recommendation. I read the blurb and instantly fell in love with the main character and the plot. I also adored the cover, so I went on to buy and download the story to my Kindle.One thing followed another, and I ended up spending Valentine's Day reading about this Cupid who longed to have a love of her own. She was always there, helping others fall in love, but not actually having a physical body prevented her from doing the same. The book was so different, so intense that I went through it in one sitting.Yeah, I know, I do that quite often with books (which I never ever regret - okay, maybe a little bit the next morning when I have to wake up all blurry-eyed, bed-headed and grumpy). But there was something else in this book, something that was so different from what I read before, that I was reluctant when I first found out about it.~o~Reverse Harem~o~When I realised that there wasn't one or two guys our resident Cupid falls in love with, but four (!), I was like: how can you have feelings for so many people all at once? It seemed and sounded impossible to me. Okay, I did write quite a few stories about 'sharing is caring'. I do have a series when the main character falls in love with her hot neighbour AND his equally fascinating wife. There was even one where she couldn't decide, so ended up shagging both handsome strangers. But four people?Yeah, I kept reading though, because I'm a curious person as ya know. And guess what? I don't have any doubts anymore. All four of them loved her differently, and from each and every one she got something the other couldn't offer. And she gave each and every one of them something different, too.Of course, I went on and read the whole series, and fell in love with the guys myself. How could I have stayed sceptical when one of them was sweet and kind, cherishing her whenever she felt down. He even carried a box of chocolates around, just for her. And then there was passion. Lots of passion. My Kindle almost got on fire! No pun intended.I have to tell you another secret. I fell in love with the genre, too. So much so that when the next book recommendation came up, I said yes without blinking. The next reverse harem series was downloaded before I could say chocolate-is-better-than-sex (it isn't).~o~I'm Hooked!~o~I'm officially hooked on this genre now. You know that I don't judge, but if I'm honest, I did judge myself at first. Did my views on my own sexuality change? Could one guy no longer satisfy me? Well, I don't know the answers (yet). But I do know that I love the concept of having everything you want without jealousy, regrets or shame.So yes, I will keep reading reverse harem for now and try to figure out what I want in the meantime. But isn't this what erotic stories are about in the first place? Bring you closer to your inner, well-hidden desires? I know they are helping me become who I truly am. And I know one more thing: I want to write my own reverse harem story.But until then, here are the ones that got me hooked:~o~My Favourites That You Should Read, Too~o~

For The Love Of My Readers...

V-Day or D-Day?~o~February is here, and with it the day that divides the nations all over the world. While some are giddy inside, unable to sleep before the 14th of February, others look at the calendar with dread, losing sleep over it for a completely different reason.I'm not sure when the shift happened, but the past years I took up the habit of stalking people. Of course, only in a non-stalkerish way, if that makes any sense. It doesn't? Okay, let me explain. Because I want to make sure I do my research right (and let's face it, with the kind of stuff I write, it proves difficult most of the time), I decided to monitor how people act on and around Valentine's Day. Which better day to measure one's love for their other half and themselves, right?Wrong.~o~The Pattern~o~I have to share with you an extremely unsettling pattern I found. I guess we can partly blame the media for it, and also the increasing pressure we put on people just for the sake of V-day (which some also refer to as D-day, and not without a good reason). So, here goes my findings. I promise, it's going to be more interesting than it sounds, so please stick with me (no pun intended this time).Let me introduce you to the most common types of people (and forgive me for the stereotypes). Group numero uno is in a loving relationship, having tiny (or not-so-tiny) butterflies flutter around in their bellies every time they think about the 14th of February. Why? Because they expect (yep, you read that right) something extraordinary from the day. Think about it as the ultimate fairy-tale. The guy sets up a candle-lit dinner, where he proposes to his beloved, and then she fakes innocence and surprise, jumping into his arms instantly. Yep, that's the surface. But what does really go on behind the scenes?Nothing romantic, I'm afraid. Again, this is going to be a stereotype, but what I noticed when observing these couples was the following: the woman would tell all her friends before the big day, that she is pretty sure she will be asked 'the question'. She starts planning their wedding way before she knows it's going to happen. And the guy? Poor sod has to live up to this expectation, because, don't be mistaken, he knows he ought to do it. The result? The day either makes or breaks the relationship, but in my perspective, it kind of takes away the free will from people.Shouldn't him popping the big question be romantic and perfect every single day of the year? With the high value we give Valentine's Day, every other day fades away. Even when a girl tells her friends that she is going to get married, if one of her friends gets engaged on Valentine's Day, their friendship is doomed. Jealousy rears its ugly head, because one of them was proposed to on the perfect day. It doesn't happen this way every time, and I'm going to swiftly move on to group number two before I get lynched (or worse).~o~So, group number two.~o~If you thought the first group was bad, meet the singles. Yep, that's right. Valentine's Day is all about the couples, right? Wrong. It's about single people at least as much, if not more. And, as you might have guessed by now, it's even worse for this group on this 'special' day. Just imagine this for a second: you are single, relatively okay with your predicament. And then comes Valentine's Day. Every single shop window (no pun intended yet again) is filled with reminders of what you don't currently have. Paper hearts are hanging from the ceiling, a whole shelf is dedicated to sparkly items with cheesy slogans about love and eternal happiness. Don't even try to go for a meal, where couples eat two meals for the price of one, sharing dessert, obviously. It's all about romance, romance, and more romance. For single people, it might as well be a punch in the face. Some of them don't venture outside, for fear they will be looked at funny. Yes, that's how far this propaganda went. If you are single, even if you feel fine on your own, even if you have a heart of steel, this day is a nightmare. So, the only option for some is a big bowl of ice-cream, a rom-com and a box of tissues. And it shouldn't be like this!Okay, let me rephrase this. I'm not against Valentine's Day, or what it should stand for. People should celebrate their love for each other. But, in my opinion, V-day should also be about our love for ourselves. But the way it is today, the way I see it, the day itself gained too much importance throughout the years, and we forgot what's truly important. Is the day truly about love? Or is it a race against time, debating whether you can outdo the present you gave last year? Don't even get me started on the financial side of it.~o~The Predicament~o~As I said, I'm going to use stereotypes today, and these examples are extreme, but I wanted to show you a bit different side to Valentine's Day. It isn't all hugs and kisses and roses, not for everyone at least. Trust me, I have been on both sides, and neither of them are good, for different reasons. Our happiness shouldn't depend on one day a year. What happens if things go sour? Are you going to stick it out till next Valentine's Day, hoping it will be better?Although I can't change the way people look at this day, I thought I would at least give my perspective. I wrote a story (yay!), but this one is a bit different from the others. My protagonist is an actual writer. She writes erotic stories (no, she isn't me, although she could be), but she only writes about sex and all things romance, she hasn't experienced love for herself in a very long time. So, she decides to go on a speed-dating adventure on Valentine's Day. And let me tell you, it is a complete disaster. Of course, there are pleasurable moments, and lots of fun and morbid humour, but the whole event isn't what it seems.And you could say that this is my propaganda for the day, and you might be right. Maybe I'm taking advantage of the importance of this day, too. But I like to think that I have my readers in mind when I do these things. That's why this is the second year when I write about a single woman and her insecurities on Valentine's Day. I don't have anything against couples, or their celebration, don't get me wrong. But I thought that enough people talk about them already on V-day.And, I can't stress enough that my stories are for everyone. Yep, especially single people, and especially on Valentine's Day. You are all loved, don't ever forget that!

Spoilt For Choice

The Promise of Something More~o~Autumn has always stuck a cord with me. Why? Because, although it's a harbinger of doom, a messenger saying that the whole world is about to end as we know it - inevitably, without question - it also contains a promise. A promise of everything renewing after a winter-long slumber. And it's the same every year. The constant rebirth of nature inspires me to do a new take on everything and everyone, including myself. Somehow, the ruby sunsets and the eerie milieu force me to see the unique beauty in it all. Yep, that beautiful promise I just talked about.This is a time to let go, and also finding the peace and quiet in finally doing so. I might even risk saying that the whole atmosphere fills me with relief. Don't get me wrong, I always said that spring was my favourite season, the only one that celebrates birth. Hell, even I was born in May. But for some time now, I've understood that nature needs a break, too. And then, just like the phoenix rising from its ashes, nature will come back with double force, after a well-deserved sleep.It's simple, straight-forward. Maybe that's why I enjoy it this much, especially now. Autumn is everything our world is not or what it pretends not to be: peaceful, quiet and given. Yes, choices and free will are cool, as long as you know what to do with them. But from where I'm standing, right now, thinking back at my past, so many times I wished I didn't have to make a choice. I would have given anything to just be presented with one single option, and one option alone. I know I didn't look at it this way back then, but if I knew what I know now, I would have wanted a simpler equation.~o~Spoilt By Choice~o~Even small things are being made so complicated, like ordering a costume for Halloween. All I wanted was to dress up as a witch. Simple, right? Think again. Of course, ordering online makes our modern life ten times easier than our elders', but not when you are presented with so many choices. Here I was, thinking I will be in and out of the virtual boutique in no time, but alas, was I wrong. I could almost hear the annoying little voice of the virtual shop assistant pop all the questions, just to keep me there a minute longer, in the hopes of convincing me to purchase ten additional items I didn't even need. Oh, right, because apparently witch costumes come in a hundred different colours, some with satin gloves, others with high-heel boots. And of course, the pointed hat, the black cat, the ouija board can be ordered separately, for twice as much as the costume itself.Okay, I can deal with that, I'm a big girl and all. Two hours and plenty of frustration later, I chose the colour of the dress and the hat that I sort of liked (although I don't quite understand why would a witch need a bat-print corset in bright purple), decided whether I should have a silk cape or a pointed hat, picked the plush persian cat, and I was good to go. I placed everything in my proverbial basket, feeling like a real witch, only having to snap my fingers for these magical items to appear at my doorstep. Hell, they might even be delivered by a hunky guy, so it's a win-win. Of course, my virtual (and pretty much non-existent) shop assistant chose this exact moment to show me an outfit (a quite sexy one) that was way better than the previous one. With a sigh I unpacked my basket, laughing at the irony. I think this is the time when I should mention that three outfits and a couple more hours later, I was as confused and frustrated as ever.Am I sure I want to proceed with the order? Now that was the moment I used my magical powers to calm down, instead of throwing my laptop out of the window. Yep, my originally picked outfit will do perfectly, thank you very much. I made the payment (interesting enough that only took me a few moments), and patiently waited for my bright purple bat-print corset with the pointy hat to arrive, alongside that hunky delivery guy. Sure enough, I got at least half of the bargain the next day. Considering that I'm going to the Halloween party solo, you can guess which part. Oh well, at least the outfit isn't that bad, and it's quite witchy as well. And you know what? It gave me an excellent idea for another story of mine. Oh yes, this one is gonna be real special.~o~Eenie, Meeni, Miini Moh...~o~What's the conclusion? Well, I heard that if someone has more than three options, they won't be able to choose, no matter how much one option stands out from the rest. It will simply be impossible for them. It surely was for me. Okay, maybe not impossible, but frustrating enough. Can you imagine if I wasn't that set on dressing up as a witch this Halloween? What then? God, that adamant virtual assistant might have ended up convincing me to go as Quasimodo for all I know. Phew, glad at least I was sure about something!On a side note, I get the same with books. Does it ever happen to you? You look at all the tempting covers, titles and blurbs, thinking that there isn't possibly enough time to read them all, so you have to pick - one, and only one - that you will start reading right now. But how do you make that choice, when there are so many? Don't even get me started on men. Especially if we are talking book-boyfriend materials. I know I have a few of my own, and if you asked me to pick right now, I would tell you a name, then, thinking about it, I would correct myself, giving you a full list of maybe twenty or thirty of the sexiest, most drool-worthy characters who ever walked this planet (or any other planet, figuratively, of course).But, if I didn't have a choice, and had to pick a book that I wrote, a character I created, and had to declare them my one and only true love, I would know without hesitation who to pick. I would have my first, my second, and my third choice, and I could tell you right now. If this season taught me anything, it's that you might have plenty of choice, you might be confused and lost, but if you don't decide, then all they are ever gonna be are missed opportunities. Sure, you can say that all of them could be yours, but the emphasis is on 'could', not on 'will'. What's better? To say that any of these could be mine but never will be, or that this one will be mine. I prefer the latter. ~o~The A-List~o~So, here is the part where I show you mine, if you show me yours. Just kidding, but feel free to let me know which of my characters are your favourites. And if you haven't met my recommended hunks yet, you know what to do on a chilly autumn night. Ready? Okay. Deep breaths. Now, let me introduce you to Aidan, from Conjured Lover. He is truly otherworldly, but I don't want to spoil anything for you, in case you haven't read the story yet. Let's just say it involves witches, a bit of real magic, and a mirror universe where all your wishes can come true. Yep, yummy.Silver goes to Will, from Truth or Dare. He is playing a dangerous game, and he won my heart as soon as I wrote the first details about him. I mean, what's not to love? He is a true gentleman as well, fighting his overwhelming feelings towards his best friends 'little' sister, who is all grown-up now by the way. Truth or Dare is a sexy, daring, yet funny winter romance, which warms my heart every time I get transported back to Will and Scarlet's world.You might ask, after all this, who could top it all, being my ultimate favourite? Well, the answer might sound difficult, but it isn't for me. As soon as I created this story, I knew it took a part of me with it. It made me wish he was real. His name is Eric, and he has long black hair and piercing blue eyes. He is something else, with his cheeky humour and eternal passion for beauty. So yes, I'm hopelessly in love with a character I created for my (and my readers') pleasure. How twisted is that? It's not like he could come to life, right? I'm no real witch, no matter how the costume makes me feel. But it doesn't mean we can't have fun from time to time *coughs*. Oh, and guess what? So can you. Squirm Under My Watch is available to download for free, if you sign up to my newsletter.Don't be spoilt by the choices though. Or be spoilt by them. Remember, it's your choice...Love,Timea x