Timea Tokes's Blog, page 2

Desires & Quick Fixes

~o~I Kept Failing~o~About a month ago, while I was lying in bed reading (no, not one of my steamy novellas this time), I realised something unsettling, yet fundamental to my future development, both as a writer and as a woman. Not necessarily in that order. Trust me, this won't be a pessimistic post, nor will it change the world as such, but it definitely reflects the way my view changed. On myself, on my part of the world, well, pretty much on everything.Okay, so here it goes. Has any of you ever tried to pursue a diet, hoping to lose weight, only to end up gaining more and more pounds? Even despite all the exercise, all the effort, you were going nowhere? Fine, you can put your hand down now. Yep, you too. Where were we? Ah, the diet. No matter what I tried, or how hard I punished myself, nothing ever worked. Sure, there were always quick results, ones that then brought with them a temporary satisfaction. I achieved something great (meaning I lost a pound or two), so I could celebrate, right? Treat myself, if you like. As a reward. Of course, the innocent chocolate cake went straight to my waistline, demolishing all that I achieved the previous month. Was it worth it? It sure seemed like it that time. But...~o~Oh, there is always a but...~o~I paid the price later, big time. It was as if I enjoyed punishing myself for slipping. And I don't care what any fan of BDSM says, pain doesn't always result in pleasure. And yes, I could have chosen any other topic. The failure doesn't have to be about weight, it can be any kind of achievement - or the lack thereof. So, why does it never work? Or at least why it never worked for me?The answer is simple, yet so elusive. And here is where I feel like I should refer to my two favourite pass-time activities (apart from writing obviously), namely reading and puzzles. Oh, I used to love a good puzzle. And the harder the puzzle, the better. It provided a bigger challenge, and as such, a much greater reward in the end. I was literally obsessed with the whole process. Putting the picture together, piece by piece, until it was whole again. Of course, I would get discouraged from time to time, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would succeed. Why?Because I knew what I was aiming for. There was no question of 'if' I get there, only 'when' I get there. The same with reading. Have you ever thought about wanting to finish a book, right after you started it? Because you weren't reading it fast enough? Unlikely. Well, at some point, if it turned out not to be your cup of tea, you might have paused it for some time or left it completely, but that's different. I hope you see where I'm getting at. You knew that the book was finished (by the author), and it was only up to you to get to the end of it - again, no question of 'if', only 'when' that happened.~o~Quick Fixes~o~So, why is it so difficult with exercise, or any other achievement? Isn't it the same? Well, yes and no. It's the same, because the ball is still in our court, and as we know, time and effort does equal results. Of course, I'm not saying I will do it the perfect way this time. That would be far from the truth. But that's why I'm saying that this realisation changed my view on my whole life. Slipping a few times is okay. Not wanting to get out of bed one day, wearing pj's and eating chocolate, while stuffing yourself with salad the next - also okay. And I will probably be doing both. But it's okay. Even when you are doing the puzzle, from time to time, you get a piece that doesn't fit. You need to try it a few times, in a few different places. Sometimes you even have to start the whole thing again. But you know what? It's still okay. Because, deep down you know that eventually the picture will be complete. All you need to do is keep at it, and voila, you are done, without even noticing it.Theoretically, this should be simple, straightforward and self-explanatory. And yet it isn't. And I've been asking myself the reason behind it for so long that I almost forgot the question. The real question I was supposed to be asking myself all this time.~o~The Bigger Picture~o~And that's exactly what I realised while lying down on my bed, reading the other day. And alas, this time there was an answer, too. I failed at all these things, because somehow along the way I lost sight of the big picture. I forgot to trust myself, to have faith in what I already knew - to have faith in myself. I thought about it, and started to look at it as I did back when I was piecing puzzles together. Back then, I never questioned my ability to complete the puzzle, even if I didn't see the big picture. I knew I had all the pieces I needed, and the only other thing was time.And guess what? I'm succeeding. Slowly, but surely. I had to realise that weight loss (and you can substantiate that for love, relationships, careers, life) isn't a sprint, but a marathon. And I might not see the finishing line yet, but I know that I will win. It's not a question of 'if' any more, because I won't lose sight of what's truly important. And that's the knowledge that I did everything in my power to make things work. Now all I need is time...Love, till next timeTimea x

All I Want for Christmas Is...

Christmas Through a Child's Eyes~o~Well, if you asked me that very same question a few years ago, my answer would have been completely different to what it is today. I liked to think that I appreciated everything enough, and yet now I know that I never really grasped the real meaning of Christmas. Nor did I know what it truly meant for me, up until a few years ago. Let me tell you a short story, a true one this time. I grew up as an only child, which meant that I could get basically anything I wanted for Christmas. Of course, that time we didn't have too much money, so I had to be reasonable, but whenever I wanted a new toy or a book, all I had to do was ask. And because I got it so easily, I took it for granted. Of course, there is another part to the story. There was another reason why I didn't feel like it was Christmas time for me. Every present had its 'prize'. They came easily, true. But somehow I always felt like I had to do something in return. And what good is a present, if it is given with an ulterior motive, right?Every Christmas, I 'had' to sit with my parents and my aunt for hours, playing games I didn't understand, when all I wanted to do is read my new book or play with my new toy, the one I chose. Yes, I would have rather retreated into my own little world, because that was all I knew. I thought that was what I wanted. Well, we always want what we can't have, right? So, I ended up spending endless hours arguing, crying, and hurting those that would have done anything to make my Christmas special.~o~Same Old, Same Old~o~I do sound like I was a spoiled little brat, don't I? Looking back now, I probably was. I didn't mean to, I just didn't understand why I got what I wanted, just to be taken away suddenly, without warning. Try telling a child that their dreams just came true, but they have to wait a little longer for them anyway. And why? Because family meals and games were a must, and obligation. Because that's how we have done it for years, why change now? What went on behind closed doors never mattered. We just played pretend for a few days each year, acting as if everything was perfect. Family, the word always makes me wonder why it didn't work out for us. Or is it tradition that every family reunion means that someone will get hurt?Christmas should be about giving, not receiving. And for a long time, for me, that meant physical presents. Why? Because what it should have been about was missing. Oh, trust me, we didn't have to go to the neighbors for a 'good' argument, no. Christmas was just another suffocating day for us all, one that was filled with obligations and musts. And I hated every minute of it. Until one day I couldn't be there.~o~What I've Lost... And What I've Found~o~It happened nearly six years ago, when I came to England. I was so happy that I got away from my old life, that I didn't even realize I left just before Christmas. Or maybe unconsciously I knew that at least I won't have to do anything, I will be free, doing whatever I want. If I wish, I could spend Christmas Eve alone, reading a new book, or with friends, or whomever. That first year was strange, but I was almost fine. But by the second time, I knew that the very thing I used to despise was slowly creeping up on me. By then, I hadn't seen my parents for a year. I was working day and night, just to earn enough money to survive. Going home wasn't even an option. I didn't even know if they wanted me after so much time, after all that happened.I think I don't have to tell you how emotional that third Christmas was, when I finally walked through the door. Yes, I think that was my first proper Christmas. Because I finally realized what truly mattered: love. I could finally feel what I haven't felt in my entire life. I finally knew that miracles do happen this time of the year. I went home a changed person, a better version of myself. If you ask me today, I wish I never met the 'old' me. But then again, if I didn't act the way I did, if I didn't come to a different country to start a new life, then my parents would probably still be arguing over the Christmas decorations or who should buy the presents this year.Instead, they are living their lives separately (as they should have for the past ten years), both being happy in their own way. Oh, and guess what? Two years ago my father gave me the best Christmas present I have been wishing for since I was a little kid. No, it wasn't a pony or a barbie doll. Not even money. This time of the year is about love, yes, but also about getting rid of what doesn't work anymore, letting go, and embracing new opportunities. And what was that present, the one I always knew I couldn't live without, but I also knew I wasn't going to have it, no matter what?~o~The Ultimate Present~o~Siblings. It was always easier to just hide behind the wall I had built for myself. It was safe there, where nothing ever happened. Nothing could. I had to let it all go, I had to watch those walls crumble to pieces and fall at my feet, before I could get the one thing that made me ignore all the other presents. Hell, it made me ignore everything else, too. I don't think that until that moment I was able to love unconditionally. But two years ago, on Christmas Eve, I met my dad's love, and her daughter and son. We have been inseparable ever since. As if it was always meant to be. I finally learned that Christmas isn't about obligations, but about wanting to do those things that once felt compulsory. They felt like an obligation, because my heart wasn't in them. Now that I know all this, my Christmas wish list is fairly short, but all the more important. To start with, I want my Christmas (and everyone else's, who reads this post) to be filled with love. And that includes all kinds of love. Yes, even self-love. No, especially self-love. Apart from that, nothing much really. Just the ability to let go of what isn't right, and to welcome the New Year and all its possibilities with open arms - and an open heart.Because, miracles do happen. And not only at Christmas. So, take the holiday spirit with you when you travel, even when you visit someone you don't like, or someone who you 'have' to see out of obligation. You never know if you will become that person's miracle or they will become yours. Remember one thing: most people measure you nowadays by the type of car you drive, or the amount of money you spend on the presents you buy for others. My wish for you is that you shall be measured by the amount of love you give out instead. Oh, and one more thing: it's never too late to change and accept that you were wrong. Trust me, I never knew true happiness before I did the same.~o~Merry Christmas my lovely readers,Yours,Timea x

Subtle Signs of Seduction

Make Love to Me... With Your Eyes~o~When we like someone, we are automatically sending out signs towards them, and towards the universe. They might not scream loudly, they might just be silent whispers. A longing glance in their direction, looking away shyly when they lock eyes with you. Or a slight tremble when their hands accidentally brush yours. Yes, they might be subtle, but they are there nevertheless. They send a clear message, one that (sooner or later) will be heard. One that says I'm yours. The jolt of electricity, the butterflies that you are sure everyone else notices, but the person in question. One minute you pray he (or she) will never know, yet the next moment you want to scream at them, coz you have waited for this for oh-so-long. But these signs are subtle, after all. And if all we get are similar signs from them, then we are in a catch 22 situation. Especially if that other person reciprocates those feelings. Okay, they will be more tuned in to our signs than if they didn't care, but then again, the very same reason makes them feel as vulnerable as ourselves. They might think they hear us sigh, or catch a glimpse of us staring at them, only to question whether what they saw was really what it all meant, or if it was simply a friendly gesture, one that they would very much like to misinterpret.~o~What If They Say Yes?~o~I like to think that when it comes to mutual attraction, both people are in the same boat. They both have the same insecurities, the same fears of rejection. But sometimes, when those feelings are too intense, both parties could be afraid of the whole thing happening to them this time, just as much as they are scared of it not happening. Because, what if he (or she) says yes? After all the heartbreak, after all the rejection, what if this time it really is happening? What if those subtle signs of seduction are truly there, loud and clear? What do we do then?Yes, love can be scary sometimes. And although this aspect is extremely hard to manifest in short stories, an author has to try. And oh, trust me, I do, all the time. Whether I succeed or not is another question. I mean, there is only so much one can do. You don't want to tease the reader for too long, promising them something epic, only to fall short of that promise in the end. It works similarly to real life in my opinion: whenever you fall in love with someone new, a little bit of flirting before you jump between the sheets is essential. A few weeks, a few months perhaps. Oh, there isn't anything sweeter than making love with the eyes (and the eyes alone), before getting physical. But yes, you need the second part, too. Especially in erotica. And in real life, of course. There is only so much subtlety one can take, right?~o~He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not~o~So, those signs of seduction need to become a little bit more obvious. But here comes the tricky part. The protagonist doesn't have months to sigh and swoon over her potential lover, nor does he have ages to steal an innocent touch or two once in a while. They need more, and there is always an urgency. Of course, in some cases, the characters just know that it's going to happen, because there is a supernatural force pulling them together, and it can't be any other way. Still they can resist though, and that makes it so much more fun. And then there are the full-length romances, where you have the time and space to make the characters fall in love with each other naturally. But in erotica short stories, you don't have that luxury. Every minute (or shall I say every word) counts, and you have to make the most of it.~o~So, how do I do it? ~o~How do I make those signs subtle, and yet unmistakably seductive at the same time? Well, the easy answer is that I simply imagine what my characters would do in the particular situation. How would she react, if she saw something in his eyes, something she hasn't seen before? One look is enough for her to know that he wants her, but could it be true? The not-so-easy answer (but one that's probably closer to the truth) is that I become a voyeur, or kind of an intruder in their privacy. I observe, I listen, and then draw my conclusions. You see, every character is different, and as such, their love is different, too. They need to find their way into each other's arms without anyone (including me) getting in their way. And that's the mentality I normally adopt. I know, I know, I'm a big softie when it comes to my stories. Yes, I tend to play with that inner voice, temptation and doubt, but I always help them overcome those fears and get rid of those doubts by the end. I do love a happy ending, but then again, who doesn't? Not to mention that I just love to write stories from a dual perspective, creating one chapter from the female protagonist's point of view, and then the next from the man's. Again, it all comes back to being in the same boat. Who gets the oat only depends on my imagination really. Sometimes it's the man who decides it's time to move on to the next stage, and other times the normally shy woman says enough is enough and jumps his bones. Well, em, most of the times quite literally. ~o~The Power of Creation~o~Of course, how subtle those signs are and what my characters do with them also depends on my mood at the time I write the story. The whole process can be quite empowering, I must say. Especially when someone creates erotica. I always feel like I'm in charge of my characters' sexual satisfaction, and I get to decide when, where, how and with whom, if you know what I mean. Okay, they might just be in my head to start with, but once they appear on paper (or on the screen), there is no turning back. They are 'alive', and will be for eternity, in both my and my readers' imagination. And that isn't a power I want to abuse. So, from time to time, I allow my imagination to run wild, but other times, my signs of seduction will remain as subtle as they can be. Teasing. Promising. Arousing.A reader recently pointed out, that I'm not only in charge of my characters' sexual satisfaction, but my readers', too. Which is very true indeed. And scary. And exciting. Whenever I think about this carefully, the idea makes me blush. I'm serious! There is nothing weirder than one of your friends coming to you with an awkward grin on his face, telling you how much they enjoy your stories. Or when you actually watch them read the saucy bits. Do you just ignore the not-so-subtle signs that they are truly enjoying what they are reading? Do you feel embarrassed or proud that you have achieved that with your words alone? Well, I'd rather choose the latter.What do you think? Do you prefer subtle signs of seduction, or shall he (or she) confess their feelings and get things rolling straight away?Love, Timea x

The One That Got Away...

All Hallow's Eve~o~Halloween is fast approaching, and with it many mixed emotions - at least for me. I have always believed that here, in London, many spooky things happen that day. Especially because I find the whole city eerie this time of the year. The streets are mostly deserted, with not a soul in sight, and at night you can hear the crying of the foxes. Top it up with a full moon and a thick and mysterious fog, and there, you have the perfect setting for All Hallow's Eve (but it would fit in pretty well into a horror movie, too).Especially a few weeks back, when the sky became a darker shade of yellow-orange. Well, that was a sight to behold. Everyone was kind of waiting for doom's day, but of course it didn't happen (thank God). But looking at the Gothic scenery and considering the feelings that haunt me this time of the year, I must admit, I'm a tad bit uneasy already.As a Paranormal slash Erotica Author, I know a thing or two about the Supernatural. And no, not just the hot series with Sam and Dean Winchester (and Castiel and Crowley) in it, but all the inexplicable things that surround us every single day. Like wishes that come true, or people bumping into us out of the blue. If you ask me, I do believe there is more to life than what meets the eye. And yes, I believe in previous lives, ghosts and all that sort, too. ~o~Why? ~o~I would hardly say that I have physical proof, of course. But I have dreams, recurring ones, too, as you might know if you have read my Paranormal Romance series, Her First and Last Secret Admirer. The dream that started it all was actually real, as well as the feeling that followed suit. There was this guy in it, who had long blondish-brown hair. But that's all I knew about him, for a very long time. He was there, haunting me, sometimes silently, while other times a bit louder. Either way, every time he left me breathless. And he didn't even touch me! He was wearing a full armor, so all I could see was his hair. And that panty-dropping smile. Oh hell yes. Later on I learned that he had aqua eyes, too. Gorgeous, soul-shuttering eyes that could see right through you. The kind of eyes you don't mind getting lost in for ever...Anyway, as I was saying... Would you believe it if I told you that I actually bumped into him a few years AFTER the dreams? Of course, the rest of the story never happened. But I always wondered what could have been should I have stopped for that coffee. Would we still be together? Would he have stayed? How would have my life turned out? And who was he anyway?~o~Mr Long Hair~o~Yes, it is possible, that all this was a trick of my imagination. It could be. But then there were other things that confirmed his existence. I'm not going to bore you with the details now, maybe another time. But of course, this time of the year, I always remember that fateful day, as if it happened yesterday. After all, that was what tripped the scale, and that was the main reason I started creating my first ever book. Don't take me wrong, I have always wanted to write. But until then, I didn't have the courage.I didn't have a name, except for the one that popped into my mind years later when I dreamed about him again. I like to believe that by writing the story down and finishing it, in another life, I gave Mr Long Hair (or Lorian, as I later named him in my book as well) and I a chance at happiness. And, just like Katy Perry sings in her song, maybe in another lifetime I won't have to say that he was the one that got away. Okay, it might have been me who missed the one chance I got. But I don't believe that we only get one chance in life, no.In fact, I did have another chance - the books. Even though they aren't real as such, they are to me. They will always have a very special place in my heart, and so will he. It isn't every day that you dream about someone you never met, only for them to manifest into real life, right?~o~And here comes my surprise...~o~That thought got me thinking. Why shouldn't this be possible? It would be so nice if we could cast a spell, or simply conjure up an idea of the perfect partner, and then somehow they would manifest. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. So, watch this space, a spooky (and a bit kinky) erotica short is coming (hopefully) in time for Halloween.Buckle up, as there will be spells that go amiss, a Halloween party that ends in an unusual way, sexy witches, mouth-watering warlocks and some naughty fun, all coming your way in my next story.More details soon, but until then don't forget to get your dresses ready. Oh, have I mentioned that I'm going on a cemetery tour where I'm going to learn about a local witch, and undead soldiers who wouldn't rest even after they died in battle? Brr, sounds fun, and I can't wait. Hope they won't mistake me for the deceased witch though...What will you be this Halloween? And do you believe that special things can happen that night?Love,Timea x

Book Boyfriend & Girlfriend Giveaway

The Dilemma...~o~I have signed up to a few (well, at least three dozen) newsletters during the past month. Why? Because I wanted to see how my fellow writers do it. I've been studying their newsletters, to see what they do differently, and also if there are any similarities. Well, I was quite surprised at what I found.For the most striking part, nearly all of those 30 authors I started to follow seem to focus on their female audience only. They create stories and giveaways, targeting single women, or desperate housewives. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that. I myself love a book cover that has a hunky guy strip naked just for my pleasure, but to do that all the time?Then the next thing I noticed was the so-called 'book boyfriend', or 'BBF' craze. Which I get, I seriously do! Who wouldn't love the nearly-perfect single dads, or ex-marines, or half-dragons? At first I thought that I might be doing something wrong, as I don't focus on any of those things. But then I realized a major difference between their stories and mine. Mine aren't necessarily targeted at a specific audience. I rather want my stories to be universal. And yes, I have lots of male readers, too. In fact, I believe that number equals (if not exceeds) my female fans.~o~~o~So, what about the male readers?~o~Well, I've been thinking about that. A lot. And, because I want to please everyone (I know, I know), I wanted to create a surprise that will (hopefully) satisfy both. And hence this 'Book Boyfriend and Girlfriend' Giveaway, featuring strong heroes and heroines. As you might have noticed, I simply love writing in a mixture of styles, representing both the female and male protagonists. It's fun, and I truly believe that it speaks to both my male and female readers.Hmm, I might even reconsider my covers. Later. But for now, I want to start the fun. As you might be aware, I have been quiet on the giveaway front since early July. That was due to many reasons, which you can read in my earlier posts, if you wish. I wanted to say thank you for sticking with me, and also wanted to apologize for the delay in getting your signed paperback copies to you. Let's see if I can make it up now, shall we?~o~~o~Latest Winners~o~The last giveaway started in July, and again, please accept my sincere apologies for only posting the winners now. Here it comes:Michelle C. Smith, UKOliver F, ItalyThe winners will be contacted shortly with details on how to claim their prizes, which are 1-1 signed copies of my erotica titles. Congratulations! Please note that if you didn't win anything this time, there will be plenty of chances in the future. In fact, below is your next chance, so stay tuned.~o~~o~September Book Boyfriend & Girlfriend Giveaway:~o~Okay, so here's the deal: I've been talking about book boyfriends and book girlfriends, to satisfy both my male and female readers, right? Well, it's time to fulfill that promise, by giving you the titles for my next signed paperback giveaway:1. Truth or Dare?2. Squirm Under My Watch3. The Escort's Taxi Ride, Part 14. The Escort's Taxi Ride, Part 2Yep, 4 titles in total, all of which portray strong female and male protagonists. And of course, a steamy happy ending. Deadline is the 31st of October, 2017.The requirements are as usual, all you need to do is sign up to my newsletter, comment on this blog post, or any other blog posts by me. The choice is yours, and so could be one of my short erotica stories. If you want a little steam in your life for free, you know what to do. Good luck, and I will be posting on my blog more often from now on, I promise.P.S. Every winner will also receive a FREE audiobook. Amazing, right?Love,Timea x

That Awkward First Time... In An Adult Shop

Shall I, Shall I Not?~o~We all remember our first. Whether it is the first kiss we are talking about, or the very first time we went to a pub. That awkward nervousness, the fear of the unknown, mixed with a sense of excitement and pride that you are finally going to do it. No more excuses, no more delaying the inevitable. In a few minutes' time, you are going to be one experience richer.But as we all know, first times are rarely great. You have no idea what you are doing, and you might feel like the whole world is watching you intently, waiting for you to screw up. And you do. The whole experience sucks, but not because of what you fear comes true. Rather because you are so focused on your idea of what others might think, that you easily forget the fact that nobody cares. They are there, too, in the same boat. And even if it isn't their first time, they can feel just as nervous. ~o~The Set Boundaries~o~It doesn't make the feeling of dread go away though. Especially when you are doing something naughty for the first time. Like going into a sex shop. Yep, that's right, I still remember that day as if it happened yesterday. Well, actually it only happened a few years ago. You might remember when I told you that I come from a conservative family, so owning a sex toy (or even thinking about owning one) was never an option.Oh, don't take me wrong, I did explore my sexuality, but I never really felt the need to explore the elusive world of toys and kinkiness. I simply convinced myself that I didn't need what every other woman needed: a toy with a long-life battery. I think I don't have to tell you how wrong I was. But alas, I only discovered it after I decided to set aside my pride and walk into a sex shop.Okay, deciding it might be a funny way of putting it. Interesting enough, I don't remember how the conversation started with my then best friend, but we somehow started to talk about sex, and everything that comes with it. Or, in my case, everything that didn't come with it: vibrators. I blushed even when she said the word out loud, and when she saw my reaction, she gasped, grabbed my arm and off we went to the nearest store.~o~The Elite Club & The Awkward Entrance~o~Probably the best thing was that I didn't have too much time to prepare. But if I'm totally honest, the most alluring part of it was the fact that I was going to get what I really wanted, without having to own up to my decision. Because, it might have been my friend who nearly got a heart attack when she learned that I didn't own a single fake shaft in my bedside drawer, I had known it for a long time that my reaction was the same. Enough was enough, and I needed to get one of those magic wands. I wanted to join the elite club.But how I got there didn't matter that moment. Nothing else mattered, but the fact that I was standing in the middle of the aisle, looking at all the different shapes, sizes, colors and materials, as ashamed and as confused as ever. Of course, my friend rushed to the rescue, which only made me feel more uncomfortable. And, as it turned out, her recommended toy was way too big for me, and I ended up wasting my money on something I didn't need, instead of getting what I actually wanted.~o~Knowing Yourself~o~You might ask at this point, why didn't I simply say no and get another sex toy, one that would have suited my needs. Yes, I could have done that, but I was petrified. I let my fear of that 'awkward first time' guide me, instead of my natural instincts. If I had to do it again (the first time I mean), it would go something like this: I would walk around, carefully examining the wide (wild?) range and cherry-pick. I would imagine how it would feel when I was actually using the item, instead of wondering whether the salesperson was looking at me in a weird way, laughing inside at my awkwardness.Okay, who am I kidding? If it was my first time again, there's no way I would have done anything differently. Sometimes first times are just that, an awkward experience from which you learn and then move on. Nobody was born an expert, right? And I sure as hell moved on from my first visit to a sex shop. Gosh, I write erotica, don't I? So, it's only natural that I know my trade. But then again, buying my second, or even the third plastic boyfriend didn't even come close to being as memorable as the first one. ~o~A Reminder Of What Was And A Promise Of What Could Be~o~As awkward as it may have been, it was special. Because it started something. It sent me on a road of discovery, pleasure and understanding. I'm not saying that by buying a few sex toys I now know how the whole world works. No. But at least I know how I work, and I also now how those toys work for me. And they all work goddamn well. Fine, not that first one, but I have kept it regardless. It is my novelty toy, if you like, a reminder of the timid and awkward girl I used to be. I say hi to her sometimes, I reminisce about those times. But losing her was actually a gain. If I hadn't bought that toy, I probably wouldn't write steamy erotica today. But what's probably even more important, I wouldn't be aware of my own sexuality.So, thank you my Raving Rabbit, you've been a true friend, even if I don't use you for your original purpose that often...Love,Timea x

The One Thing You're Dying To Hear...

Am I a Fortune Teller?~o~No, you can't eat as much chocolate as you want without gaining weight. I know, I know, but I can't work miracles (yet). Sorry! This post is rather about another set of words you want to hear, ones that make your world round and beautiful and complete. But what if you don't hear them? And not because you weren't paying attention, no. You don't hear them, because they never actually came out into the open. You are dating someone. It's going good. It's going great, actually. He (or she) rocks your world, everything is just picture perfect between the sheets. And yet, there is something missing. A tiny detail, one that could easily be ignored. Or could it? Although some people aren't as sensitive to the spoken word (or unspoken word in this case) as others, but still, what happens if you never hear those words that you've been trying to read off his (or her) lips for the past four months (or God forbid, four years)? How long should you wait? Or is this just a formality, an overstated miniscule thing, the lack of which can be easily ignored?It might as well be that the other person doesn't feel the need to say it. Maybe they think that they are showing you alright (oh, hell yes, every morning, noon and night), they assume that you already know. Well, okay. But know what, exactly? That they like you? That they want to spend time with you? That they enjoy your company? And by company, I mean sex. Sure, they might go out of their way to prove what they aren't able to say. But isn't actually saying it out loud a crucial part of that process?~o~Kiss and Tell?~o~There is a saying in my country that actions speak louder than words. Which is true, in most cases. But there is also another one, which goes like this: words give meaning and an explanation to your actions. To me, this also means that in a relationship, if the actions are there, without the right words, those actions can be easily misinterpreted. Let me give you two examples.Mr Right and Miss Perfect have been dating for five years. Mr Right is what his name suggest. He does everything the right way, and that includes fulfilling Miss Perfect's needs (financial, sexual and intellectual). However, he never says the oh-so-longed for word. This doesn't bother Miss Perfect though, as she is convinced that Mr Right proves his love towards her every single day. Except, his actions might be perfect, but he doesn't mean any of it. To him, Miss Perfect is only perfect till Miss Spotless comes into the picture. Why say something that isn't there? Our next couple is Mr Shy and Miss Self-Conscious. They have been together for five years, just like the Perfect couple. Although, Mr Shy is just unable to say the big words to his beloved partner. He is too shy, and he wants to show rather than tell. What is he waiting for? She wonders. She loves him with all her heart, but if he doesn't make a move soon, she will have to look somewhere else. She needs a man who can 'man up' after all, one that wants to settle down with her. She knows that Mr Shy loves her, but as he never tells her about his plans, she can't be sure whether he wants a future with her or not.Of course, these are extreme & fictional examples, and as such, they don't exist in real life. But I do believe that they aren't that far from the truth. Okay, so I think we have established that telling the other person you love them is nearly as important as showing them. On the other hand, words are useless without action. I really believe that the two come hand in hand. ~o~Four Letters (no, not those ones)~o~So, what should one say? Isn't 'I love you' too cliché, too unoriginal? Believe it or not, this is maybe the hardest part. Even in stories. Especially in stories. Sometimes it comes naturally, because the characters create a natural sexual tension between them, and once that's resolved, and the frustration is over, they begin to pour their hearts out. As easy as pie. But then there are other times, when the way my hero wants to declare his undying love just doesn't cut it. And then there are yet other times, when the actual words aren't spelled out, but there is a very strong promise to wrap it all up. Besides, even in real life, the true fun only begins after those words are uttered. Either way, I tend to find that my readers need that kind of closure, the completion of the emotional bond as well as the physical.And here comes my last question, one that's aimed at You, my lovely Readers. What are those special words that you have been dying to hear from your other half? Maybe you dreamed the words up yourself, or you heard them in your favorite movie, or read them somewhere. Or, if you were lucky enough, what did he (or she) say to sweep you off of your feet? I know, I found a line in a book I read, one that stayed with me ever since. It went something like this: 'Let's not use big words, because they might scare both of us. What if we just promised to love each other until life do us part?' (a rough translation from Vavyan Fable)The other one was 'You had me at Hello' from Jerry Maguire. To me, that said it all.Love,Timea x

Best, Worst & Dirtiest Pick Up Lines

A Hot Summer Vacation~o~Hey guys,It's been a long time! How have you been? My time was well spent, albeit not always writing. There is that outside world, you know, the one that keeps nagging you to step out into it, to explore, to have fun, to live. Well, sometimes I go there, step out of my writing den, and let life happen to me. And it happened this time as well. I spent a lovely summer in my homeland with my parents, and it couldn't have been sunnier. In every possible sense of the word.But now I'm back to my 'regular' self, exploring life's sexual side (at least on paper). And what better way to get back into the game, then by re-reading some of my stories? This always makes me feel like I’m part of something bigger, something wonderful, something sexy.~o~To Pick Up or Not To Pick Up, That Is The Question~o~All in all, as I was sitting there reading, a question popped to my mind. Do my readers like my pick up lines? Aren’t they cheesy? Aren’t they pathetic? But then again, aren’t all attempts at picking someone up pathetic in themselves?We are standing there, looking at the subject of our affection, while our body takes on a life of its own. Our legs start to tremble, our heart attempts to win a race, and our vision becomes cloudy. We have selective hearing, and selective sight, only being able to concentrate on how he (or she) moves, talks, flips their hair. Oh, those cute dimples, that sexy ass waiting for you to dig your claws in…~o~Will This Sh*t Work?~o~Yeah, no wonder people aren’t able to think straight, let alone come up with a nice pick up line, right? It’s a miracle if we manage to talk (and survive our body’s epidemic signals). Phew. This got me wondering, whether others do it better. Not necessarily in stories, but in real life. Well, I found some funny pick up lines, while others made me cringe. I mean, seriously? Does anyone actually use them? And do they work?I’m not an expert, but I know I wouldn’t fall for many of those. But then again, if one of my characters actually climbed down from the pages and wanted to seduce me, well… Let’s just say that I wouldn’t really care what pick up line they chose. Okay, so until I can use real magic and summon one of the Greek Gods from Squirm Under my Watch or Truth or Dare, I will just share the pick up lines I found the funniest. And best, worst, dirtiest. Here you go:~o~1, Smile, if you want to have sex with me.~o~I bet this works all the time! I mean, how couldn’t it? Should one be crying when a guy tells them to smile? It's a reflex, something that we can't always control. Although it takes a lot of muscles to do so, it is still the most natural thing in the world. Isn't it cruel to take advantage of that? What will be next? Say cheese and I will put something nice in your mouth? Hold on, someone might have invented that, too.~o~2, Do you want to have good sex? [No!] Well then come to my place!~o~Are they suggesting that if we want bad sex, then we should jump at the offer? Again, does anyone actually go for this? Or is it like the rules of Murphy, and whatever they say, the opposite registers in our brain? After all, the Universe doesn’t hear negative words, either. So, ’no’ means ’yeah, give me more’, and ’yes’ means ’I want more’. Hmm, they might be onto something here…~o~3, You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.~o~Just imagine someone say this to Melissa Gordon. She would send a bunch of angry ghosts their way, that's for sure. Cat whisperer? Please, I bet that guy wouldn't even be able to talk to that cat, let alone whisper. A bit cliché, but I guess it could still work on a crazy cat lady. Mind you, the guy might end up having to feed 50 cats in the end. Fifty shades of the cat whisperer, uncensored. Purr.~o~4, You’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.~o~This actually made me chuckle. If the guy had such good humor, maybe that would be enough to get the girl’s knickers to come down. Maybe. But then again, that mentioned toe hurts like hell whenever its being banged around. Ouch, no thanks! Not to mention that the cooker must be really uncomfortable. And what about the shoe rack or the coffee table?~o~5, I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity.~o~Seriously? Hasn’t he heard that even real witches aren’t that powerful? Nobody can go back in time (yet). He should check back after a few centuries, maybe then this will work. But until then, I'm afraid they will just have to stick to their best friend (their right hand). I might be a bit harsh though, and this is a sweet, innocent guy, who has never had sex in his life. What are you saying? That you have no idea why that could be?~o~I hope you enjoyed my selection, I will try to add extra ones later as and when I stumble upon them. Don’t forget to let me know what you think of these. Would they work on you? Would you use them? What is the best-worst-dirtiest pick up line you ever heard-said?Love,Timea x

New Look, New Book & New Giveaway

Erotica Stories In A New Gown~o~I'm sure you all know the feeling when you somehow manage to look at your life just like an outsider would. You spot mistakes, imperfections, but, by some miracle, you can also see clearly what a possible solution could be. Let me tell you an example. For the past year, I have had this nugging feeling that I should do something with the erotica stories part of my website. No matter what I changed, I just didn't feel like this was it, I found the perfect layout. I tried many different shades, several ways of listing my erotica short stories, but none of them worked the way I wanted them to. It was frustrating, really.And then two days ago, it hit me. The urge to change the page was so strong that I had to give in. If I didn't know better, I would even say that I was under a spell. I worked fast, because I knew what I wanted, what I had wanted for a year. That day it became crystal clear, and I knew I was on the right path. It might not be the final one, but I'm confident that it's perfect for my current mindset. Finally, the whole website is in harmony with me, it is like an obedient child. Phew, new mums say that the first year is the toughest, and I guess the same goes here.So, my lovely readers, please have a look, and let me know what you think. It is up to date as of now, and contains all my erotica books with a free preview, and blurb. And beautiful pictures! Thanks to Amazon. Oh, and they can be purchased right away, all from my Erotica Page. In case you were wondering what 'Make Them Mine' stands for, well, that's it. It's a header, one that will contain my stories. It sounds much better than 'Books', doesn't it? I do like to make people wonder and think (and dream, of course).~o~A Creative Mood~o~I tend to get into a more creative mood when there is a Full Moon. And guess what, there is one tonight. Not to mention that it's the 8th of the month, which has an interesting significance for me. Oh, I haven't told you yet, have I? I talked about the number 13, and why it's lucky for me, but I'm yet to reveal the mysteries about my lucky 8. I will, I promise. Shortly. But it's so important that I will have to dedicate a whole blog post to it.Now back to the Moon. I believe that it's not the only influencer that has been working the past few days, to provide me with such clarity. No. Yesterday was also the 7th of the 7th month, in 2017. Quite magical, isn't it? And what if I told you that I woke up at 07:07 AM? Yep, it made me shiver, too, when I glanced at the clock. Seven is said to be a divine number, and as such, it's for completion, renewal, and also for seeking the truth and real values. Just think about it, it's always the 7th son, the 7th head of the dragon, etc. They are always special, and it's only natural that we feel special on the 7th, too. But anyway, that's enough about the spiritual side of things. You know, I do get carried away sometimes. But admit it, you like it! Especially when I get carried away in a different way. And trust me, I do that often. Actually, I just did it again, in my newest story. Read along to find out why and how. Hopefully it will all make sense by the end (and if not, all you need to do is ask). :)~o~A New Book~o~And yes, I couldn't let all this creative eenrgy go to waste, so there is a new erotica story for you to enjoy. I know I certainly enjoyed writing it. Even more so than anything else before (but then again, my enthusiasm might just have been due to the mystical numbers, and I always fall in love with my newest characters a little, anyway). So, all in all, Squirm Under My Watch is out there for all of you to enjoy. From a head-strong woman who knows what she wants to a waterfall and a mysterious guy with long hair, who knows who he wants, this little bite of heaven has everything I could ever dream of. And, hopefully, everything you could ever dream of, too. Well, not that my characters are saintly, on the contrary, they are sexy as hell. At least that's what my test-readers say. They loved it, getting instantly pulled into the story. And, as usual, it has a deeper meaning as well. One about trust, and knowing yourself, what you want, what you need. And, maybe even more importantly: loving yourself. But then again, all of that is connected, wouldn't you agree?Whether it's about a bad relationship, a bad situation you have to get out of, or simply a case of giving yourself what you want, eventually it all comes down to one thing, and one thing alone: whether you love yourself enough or not to fo it.Ready to dive in?~o~A New Giveaway~o~Okay, I have teased you long enough, so let's have a look at last month's winners (I know, I know, it's too late, and I'm really sorry for that, apart from the creative days, I've had quite a few manic ones, too).So, the winners of June's Juicy Giveaway are the following:Daniel Thompson, UKAmanda P.D., USChris K., Irelandcrazylover832 from USLouise B., UKInstructions have been sent via email. Enjoy, and good luck everyone. As you know, a new month means a new giveaway. So, if you haven't won any books yet, don't worry, there is always a chance that you will be one of the lucky few this time. All you need to do is 1, comment either on the blog (any blog post), 2, or comment on my Facebook page (any post), 3, or sign up to my newsletter. It's really that simple! That way you let me know that you are a fan, and make me the happiest person on earth at the same time. Okay, now this month's titles are:1, How About the Rooftop?2, Squirm Under My WatchTwo winners will be randomly chosen at the end of July, and I will (try) to announce the winners on or around the 1st August. The books will be signed by me, the text can be chosen by the winners. Any questions, please let me know. You know, I don't bite (unless that's what you are into, of course).~o~And A Final Surprise...~o~To increase the amount of goodies, I will still be giving away promotional codes for The Bucket List Audiobook. By using these codes, you can get the audiobook version of my erotica short story for FREE. All you need to do is send me an email to:timeatokes87@yahoo.co.ukStating in the subject line the following: 'Free Audiobook Request'. That's it, this isn't a competition! Anyone can get a code (while stock lasts). But there are plenty to go round, so don't worry.Okay my lovely readers, that's all for now, I'm going to take a cold shower to survive this heat (unfortunately there aren't any waterfalls around), and you have quite a lot to do, too, I reckon. So, happy reading and listening, and don't forget, it's all about your pleasure. So, love yourselves, and grab your favourite book (it doesn't have to be mine), and relax. Until next time.Love,Timea x

Premium Escorts & Hot Taxi Drivers

Black & White & Lots of Grey~o~When someone thinks about an escort, that person usually has a negative feeling in his (or her) gut. The moment an escort decides to sell their body for money, they cease to exist as respectable members of the society. They become an object of short-term desire, ones that are easily forgotten. Some even look at them as if they carried the black plague. But there are a few, who want to find out the reasons behind it all. Why did they choose this profession in the first place? Do they enjoy what they do? Did they have a choice? Can they still fall in love?These, and several similar thoughts and questions have been haunting me for a long time. As you know, I like to look at things in a different way, and I'm not judgmental. I like to think that everyone deserves a chance to decide who they want to be, and then they should be able to tell their own story. And every story has at least two sides, not to mention that nothing is purely black and white, good or evil. There is always a mixture of both, and that's what makes our lives (and our stories) so colourful and unique, remarkable. How many fictional characters do you still remember who were 100% good? Weren't they too boring? And how about those who were entirely consumed by the dark side? Scary? Disgusting? Infuriating? Now think about those ones, who had both positive and negative traits. How often did you find yourself rooting for the bad guy, who showed some remorse? Who was willing to change and accept his good side, and everything that came with it?~o~An Elite Escort as the Protagonist?~o~Of course, I'm not saying that everyone feels that way, but personally, I never liked those people (whether in real life or in fiction) who were practically saints. Nobody wants to live a life that they will regret in the end, either because it was that bad, or because they missed out on everything. Well, I can assure you, nobody misses out on anything in my stories. But there are people in them, who have to realize that they have been living in the shadows till now. Oh, how many times this happens to all of us, doesn't it? Hence whenever I write about such things, it feels so real. Welcome to the world of 'what if's, the 'should have's and the 'maybe's. Oh, and this time, to the world of premium escorts and hot taxi drivers. And very, very naughty outfits.Why did I choose an elite escort to be my not-so-good protagonist? Well, it's simple really. If you read the beginning of this post, then you know my reasons. I love to wonder what could make someone do something that's considered bad by their society, and what Suzanne does is definitely bad. In more ways than one. But then again, prostitution and being an escort is nearly never just about sex. Of course, that can't be missing from an erotica short story, so it is present this time as well (oh boy, is it??), but there is also a hidden part of the story that will only be revealed after a few chapters. But don't worry, those of you who aren't fans of short story series, you get to have your smut in every single one of them. Actually, some of my readers said that The Escort's Taxi Ride erotica short story series is one of my kinkiest so far. Kinky, hot, and oh-so provocative. Just the way we all like it, huh?But enough of the teasing (no, not really, but I am trying to be nice). Let's see what I'm talking about.~o~A Delicious Bite of The Escort's Taxi Ride~o~What would you do, if a gorgeous woman asked you for a ride? She would pay for it, too. For both rides. Sounds like a dream, right? And what if she was an elite escort? One that was in danger? Your life would never be the same, but it would totally be worth it. So, what is it going to be?~o~ Suzanne was an escort, and not your usual kind at that. She was into the elite stuff, or at least that’s what she called it. God, I still remember her, although it happened a few years ago, and her time with me was rather short for my liking. And yet, her memory has been haunting me ever since. I know it’s cliché and I am also aware that she slept with most men for their money. But I was different. She paid me. Okay, not for the sex, but still, it certainly seemed like it that time. Who else could say that about themselves, right? She was gorgeous to look at, a sight to behold – and a treasure to hold in one’s arms, that’s for sure. An elusive one, but all the rarer and more exquisite for the very same reason. I bet anyone would have given anything they had just to spend one night with her. I know I would have. Well, I did, sort of. And it nearly cost me my life – and sanity. With her long blond curls and melancholy blue eyes, you could have easily mistaken her for an innocent schoolgirl. In fact, that’s how she looked like when I picked her up. She was wearing her silky hair in two pigtails, and her slender legs were clad in white knee-socks. Not to mention her checkered red and black miniskirt, or her white blouse that was tied into a knot over her ample breasts, revealing a flat and tanned stomach. I wouldn’t normally go there, but then on closer look, I could tell that she was old enough to be my wife – but not old enough not to be able to pull the look off. Except, that time I had no idea she was a call girl, or that she was in trouble. Her life was at stake, and I was the only one who could help her.~o~ This is the first story in The Escort's Pleasure series. This bite-size loveliness is full of hot, kinky fun. 6,000 words of it, actually. Don't miss out, grab your copy now at an introductory price. You won't be dissappointed!~o~ ~o~Till next time,Love,Timea x