Evil Editor's Blog, page 360

Cartoon 574

Caption: anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Feedback Request

A new version of the query featured in Face-Lift 712 is in the comments there. The author would like your opinion.

Face-Lift 728

Guess the Plot

Gypsy

1. Lana longs for the open road, but husband Gary wants to stay put. When he dies, she takes his insurance money to buy a big RV. On her way from Albany to San Clemente she meets different people, and at 87 she falls in love with aging screen idol Jack LeMans. Will they travel together to the end, or will she drive her RV through the great Farmer's Market in the sky?

2. They used to have a lot of negative stereotypes thrown at them; transients, tinkerers, thieves and prostit...

Q & A 176

Can I write a novel about a famous person? For example, a creationist gang kidnaps Richard Dawkins's wife Lalla Ward and gives him 24 hours to provide them with a kick-ass proof that evolution is false or they will massacre his wife. Will I risk a lawsuit? Will I have to pay royalties to Dawkins and his wife? And can I use some casual profanity like a professor mocking Dawkins: "Come on, Richy, work you ass on it. It's not that hard, you know." ? I know this is a legal question but I live...

Feedback Request

A revised query for Face-Lift 727 has been posted in the comments there, and awaits your input.

Cartoon 573

Caption: Anon.

Your caption on the next cartoon! Link in sidebar.

Writing Exercise Results . . .

. . . are in the posts below.

The task was to show Evil Editor trying to make a dinner reservation for Valentine's Day.

Valentine Reservation 4

EE circled the last few numbers in the phone book and sat back in his chair to think. Which phone had he called from last year? Work, home, cell… home, he was pretty sure. So, work phone should get past caller ID.

He dialed the number in, 772-257-4501. Ring, ring, static.

"This is Ricardo's."

"Yes, hello, I'd like to make reserv—"

The automated voice cut him off. "Evil Editor. Ricardo's has taken the preemptive measure of tracking down all your phone numbers, as well as those of your immediate fa...

Valentine Reservation 3

Chez Paris. May I help you?

Yes, I'd like to make a reservation for Valentine's Day.

Is this Evil Editor?

I haven't been there in a year, and you recognize my voice?

No, I'm simply required to ask anyone who phones if he's Evil Editor.

Required by . . . ?

Our insurance policy. In any case, we're completely booked for Valentine's Day, sir.

What about next Valentine's Day?

I'll check. Sorry, fully booked.

That was fast.

Computers. Amazing things.

Valentine's Day, 2015?

Booked.

Val--

Booked.

This is bull. I ou...

Valentine Reservation 2

Ring-ring
How wonderful to hear your voice again sir but we regret to tell you that we on longer serve food in our restaurant. We will be unable to accommodate your Valentine's party this year.

Ring-ring
As we recall sir, you broke our musician's violin when he wouldn't play "Who let the dogs out" for your table. Sorry, we're all booked up that day... all day... any day... every day... Have a nice day.

Ring-ring
This is Officer Phoesteer of the Phoenix PD informing you that the protective order is...