Barbara Schmidt's Blog, page 3

5 Affirmations for Welcoming Fall

Dear friends,

Even though the weather might not be changing as fast as we’d like for it too, here in the US, Fall is right around the corner. This year, I feel a lot of hope and anticipation for the new season ahead. For some reason, I am greatly looking forward to a refresh, a change of pace, and an opportunity to begin again.

As we know, the only thing that is constant in life is change, and sometimes, change can feel scary. Sometimes the anticipation of something new can make us want to hold on even tighter to what is being left behind. Sometimes the fear of change can provoke self-sabotaging behaviors to keep us staying stuck. And sometimes, the opportunity of something new can make us feel confused as to what we really want, and what control we actually have.

This week I wanted to provide some simple, but powerful positive affirmations to help us all transition into a new season and chapter of life. I know there are so many feelings that rise to the surface at this time of year, so use these affirmations to remind you of what’s true, real, and good in your life, always.

As always, take the ones that resonate or mold and shape them to fit your personal, unique life. The magic key to affirmations is we actually have to believe them to be true; so make them work for you!

I am excited and optimistic for what my future holds for me.I love and trust the timing, cadence, and path of my life.I allow each new chapter to usher in new aligned people, places, and opportunities.lJust like the trees in autumn, I allow the dead leaves to drop, creating space for new energy.I love who I am in this moment, and I honor myself for who I am becoming.

I hope these are supportive for you all in this new chapter! I’d love to hear in the comments the affirmations you are using in this season of life!

xo, Michelle

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4 Steps to Attracting More of What You Want in Life

Dear friends,

We all have desires, wishes, hopes and dreams. Many of us work so hard, hustle, and try to do everything it takes to get what we want and still feel empty handed. We think success and getting what you want has to do with luck. What if I told you that you have influence of what you get in life?

The good news is you do have that ability. The bad news is you have to work to cultivate the intention and awareness to do so. What I mean by work for it is you have to change your thoughts, which for many of us is a lot of work. Your thoughts truly matter; your thoughts influence everything in your life. Your thoughts become your reality.

I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on my life and what I’ve created and what I still wish to see come to fruition. I’ve felt grateful and also disappointed, I’ve recognized what I’ve built but also know that there is still so much left to do. In my personal deep dive, I remembered that I am a co-creator of my life.

So what am I currently creating?

Asking myself this lead me to start to observing my thoughts, acknowledging my current situation, and think about what thoughts I might have had to create the situations I am experiencing right now. Usually, I can pinpoint a thought or belief system that has manifested into a life situation that is in the present moment, which I might not really desire. This has been a huge revelation for me, as it has given me a big sense of control in what I am creating for my life.

The simple act of redirecting my thoughts and reframing my beliefs has dramatically changed my life. I have found so much freedom and happiness in simply being aware of how I want to feel, and choosing thoughts based on those desires. It’s time to be the magical co-creator of the life of your dreams. You can have what you desire, you just have to start with the thoughts in the mind.

Are you ready to change your thoughts and change your life? Here is a simple step-by-step guide to get you on the right path.

1. Get clear. How do you want to feel, and what do you wish to attract? Clarity is the foundation on which you build the life of your dreams.

2. Observe your thoughts. Are your thoughts in alignement with your desires? Begin to notice how your mind works. Make adjustments accordingly.

3. Be the energy you wish to attract. Live in the energy of what you desire. Act as if you already have all that you so deeply wish for.

4. Let go of the attachment to the outcome, and enjoy the ride. The present moment is where the magic truly happens. Release the attachment to specific outcomes, and see what unfolds when you are living freely in the now.

What are you wishing to attract in your life? Feel free to out your desires here in the comments, sending it out to the Universe! We will create manifesting magic together here!

xo, Michelle

If you liked this post, read more here:

5 Positive Affirmations for New Beginnings

One Thing I’m Prioritizing in my Life

5 Things I’m no Longer Spending my Energy on

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A Reminder for Managing Overwhelm

Dear friends,

I don’t know if any of you can relate, but these past few weeks have felt extremely chaotic and overwhelming. I’m not sure if it’s the changing of the seasons, Mercury in retrograde, or just the complexities of my personal life coming to a head all at once, but life feels like a lot right now and my feelings of overwhelm are very real.

Truthfully, I recently let these feelings get the best of me. I just felt like there was no way out of all of the complicated issues that I had to deal with; almost as if I was trapped in my own chaos.

None of these feelings are new, there have always been seasons of high stress and uncertainty, and there will be many more to come. The waves of life come and go, and we do our best to manage it.

In this instance in particular, I noticed a dynamic that I was engaging with that was unnecessarily adding on to my stress and overwhelm. Pinpointing it in the moment, and cultivating the awareness that I was doing it, helped me immensely in managing my stress, and I thought, maybe you all could benefit from this, too.

As I was processing my own feelings and sorting through how to manage all that I needed to do, I noticed that I was also taking on the challenges and difficulties of the people around me. In short, I was carrying baggage that wasn’t mine to hold.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn in this season of my life is how to discern where to place my energy, and what I can and can’t control. In this case, I was letting the life challenges and struggles of friends, family, and even the world pile on to my own difficulties, leading me to feel extra taxed and burned out.

As caring, kind human beings, it’s a natural response to feel invested in our loved ones struggles. We all want to do what we can to help, in whatever way we can. However, it’s important that we remember that we cannot take on other people’s problems as our own. No one benefits when we do this.

If you’re managing a season of stress and overwhelm, I invite you to take inventory of where these feelings are coming from, and pinpoint the issues that are yours, and the ones that you can release. Remember, this doesn’t preclude you from lending support when needed, but rather, setting healthy boundaries within yourself to help you maintain your precious resource: your energy.

Remember, too, that no feeling is final, and the seasons of our lives are always changing.

xo, Michelle

 

If you liked this post, here are some more helpful reminders:

3 Reminders When Faced With Change

6 Things to Remember When Hurting

5 Things To Remember When Life Isn’t Where You Want It To Be

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3 Reminders When You’re Feeling Lonely

Dear friends,

I’ve recently been in a handful of conversations with people on the topic of loneliness. It seems that the feeling of being lonely is prevalent for so many, and there is so much uncertainty over how to handle it and what it even means to fee lonely or be alone.

I believe there is a lot of misunderstanding and unnecessary judgment about being alone and feeling lonely. We tend to think that it signals there is something wrong with us, and we aren’t worthy of companionship or company, and that somehow we have failed.

There is a distinct difference between being alone and feeling lonely. The first, is simply the absence of company, and quite literally being in solely with yourself. The second, a more complicated emotion, is what bubbles to the surface due to a wide array of circumstances in life, leading us to feel uncomfortable feelings.

I know that loneliness is not always easy to work through, and so many of us have been grappling with it over these past few challenging years.

This week, I wanted to share three simple, but meaningful reminders about loneliness. I hope they help!

Remember that you won’t feel this way forever. Loneliness, just like every other emotion, both positive and negative, will not last. Whenever I find myself feeling down or sad about being alone, it’s so helpful for me to remember that it eventually will pass.

Remember that sometimes there are silver linings to being in your own company. I am someone who used to really not like being alone, but I have to say, I’ve grown to actually love it. I relish the time that I can spend by myself. So much of the world has been turned upside down, what better time to come back home to yourself, to get to know yourself on a deeper level, to tap into your creative desires or long lost hobbies, and to really become your own best friend. Last week, I spoke on the topic of self-love, and this is where this comes into play. Treat yourself like you would someone you love and cherish, because you deserve that, too.

Remember don’t take your loneliness, personally. Often times when I’m feeling separated from the world, it’s easy for me to write stories that blame myself for my loneliness. This can look like, “people don’t want to be with you anyway,” “you’re not worthy of someone else’s company,” “you’re going to be alone forever.”  These negative and self-sabotaging stories are sticky for the mind, and so, so easy to fall into. Don’t allow it. When you notice that you are feeling particularly lonely, train yourself to become extra aware of the stories your mind starts to tell you, and nip the nasty ones in the bud. Being alone says nothing about your worthiness or capacity for love, it just means that you get the space to love and honor yourself.

I hope these reminders serve you as we continue to move through these challenging times. If nothing else, I hope you find comfort in knowing that even though we are apart, we experience all these emotions, together.

xo, Michelle

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3 Reminders When Faced With Change

Dear friends,

As we all know, the only true constant in life is change. I was just talking to my mom the other day about the concept of change, how fast I find time moving, and how much in life is always changing. While mentally I can know this great truth about change, and understand that it is always happening, it sometimes takes me a bit longer emotionally to process and accept the changes that come with life.

I think as human beings, we are creatures of habit, and crave the comfort of familiarity and stability. We want to feel safe and prepared for life and whatever may come our way. But as we also know, we cannot predict or control the happenings of the external world. We never know what each passing moment will bring. So, how can we start to reconcile these truths, and cultivate a strong foundation from within to truly weather life and it’s changes with grace?

This week, as we anticipate another changing of the seasons and new chapter of life, I wanted to provide three simple reminders that I rely on when life presents changes.

Change can be an opportunity. As much as we tend to fear the unknown, a lot of times change can present new opportunities and experiences that enrich our lives. In cultivating a curious mindset about what could happen, in a good way, we keep ourselves open to the positive benefits that change can bring.We are resilient in nature. Change can feel scary but we are stronger and more capable than we give ourselves credit for. Remind yourself, that in times of movement and change, you have lived through and survived all of your difficult days.Change can be an important teacher. I believe that life presents us with situations and circumstances to teach us information that we need to know. Even if uncomfortable, change can provide us with important knowledge and wisdom to help us navigate through the waters of life.

I hope these reminders help you in whatever change life puts in your path! Let me know in the comments if you have any other helpful reminders when dealing with change.

xo, Michelle

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3 Reminders to Overcome Indecision

Dear friends,

In this moment, as I write this, I’m vividly remembering so many times in my life where I was fraught was indecisiveness. It’s actually painful to relive it all. For so much of my life, decision making felt extremely challenging, if not impossible. So much so, certain friends would joke with me that we could never make plans because we would never make decisions.

I used to think this was cute and kind of funny, until it became incredibly frustrating and often times confusing. The more I labeled myself as the go-with-the-flow, no preferences ever, indecisive person, the more I actually became it. And as much as I thought this made people around me like me more, it didn’t. Because as I learned over time, people gravitate towards people who are grounded, convicted, and sure of themselves.

For the past few years I’ve set an intention to really release my indecisive label, and begin to cultivate the awareness of what I actually do want, and how to communicate it with other people. Though it’s not always easy, and I often catch my self falling into the, “I don’t care, you decide” trap, my relationships are better, my confidence in myself feels more aligned, and I’m certainly more clear on what I want.

I think so many of us get trapped with indecision for three reasons, we want to be people pleasers, we think that other people have better insights, and we aren’t actually tuned in to our own, aligned desires.

The good news is that starting to honor yourself, who you are, and what you actually want, isn’t too far out of reach. You can start now, because in every moment of our lives, whether we are conscious of it or not, we are making decisions. And, like with everything else, this is a practice. One where the more you work it, the more it becomes second-nature. And I promise you, the more you start to make decisions, for yourself, and not based on external opinions or influences, you’ll start to feel so much more connected to yourself, confident in yourself, and assured of yourself.

I know it’s not always easy to change pattered behaviors, so here are three simple reminders in overcoming indecisiveness:

Remember that whenever you think you don’t know what you want or what to do, you actually do. In the past, when I would respond to a question with, “I don’t know”, my mom would always retort, “Well, what would the answer be if you did actually know?” Her asking me this always annoyed me because it forced me not to bypass my feelings and desires, and actually tap in. And every single time, I did actually know, and it’s because I gave myself the space and permission to unearth it. Oftentimes, you do know the answers, you just have you allow it, and accept it.

Remember that asking for other people’s opinions all the time will only continue to cloud your own clarity. For so long I was someone who would race to friends and family for advice and opinions in my life. As much as I value the insights of my loved ones, they are not the ones actually living my one, unique life. I am. So as much as they can try to give me advice, ultimately, they cannot know what’s exactly best for me because they haven’t lived my own experience. Remember, you are the only one who knows what’s truly right for you. Other people’s opinions have other people’s energies. Stay in alignment with your own truth.

Remember and trust that whatever choice you make will serve you, either with blessings or lessons. Both are valid and have meaning in life. We tend to push away big decisions for fear of making a mistake or choosing the wrong thing. It’s important to know that there is no perfect way to move through life, and the choices that you make will serve you and guide you, in one way or another. Don’t allow the fear of a choice, keep you from moving forward.

xo, Michelle

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5 Ways to Tap Into Your Creativity

Dear friends,

For the longest time I thought that I wasn’t very creative. There was no real reason for these beliefs I held, it was simply a thought pattern that I would repeat to myself over and over again. As a kid, I loved tapping into my creativity, I loved to paint and color and create games outside with my friends. Creativity came easy to me because I didn’t question or overthink it, I allowed it to naturally enhance my life.

As an adult, and as someone who historically overthinks all aspects of life, it felt like my sense of creativity was lost in the constant worry of perfection. I couldn’t just draw to draw, it had to be perfect, I couldn’t create without overanalyzing. I allowed myself to believe that I was no longer creative simply because of my repetitive thought patterns.

What I know to be true is that we are all inherently creative. We all have minds that are capable of imagining amazing things, we simply have to allow for it. I also know that with practice and intention we can enhance aspects of our lives, too.

If you’re like me and sometimes feel like your creative side is out of reach, know that you’re not alone, and know that no matter what, you can always come back to it! This week I wanted to share with you five of my favorite practices I rely on to dive into my creative side. I hope they are helpful for you!

Spend time connecting with yourself. So often when I feel disconnected from my creativity it’s really because I am disconnected to myself. It’s amazing how beneficial it feels to take a few moments daily to stop, breathe, and connect. So many of the answers we seek rise to the surface when we make time for this practice.Cultivate a journaling practice. Whenever I find myself too much in my head, I go to my journal to write it all out. There is no better practice for me than putting pen to paper to give my thoughts a home. Through journaling I discover so much about myself and my desires for life, but also so many of my creative ideas come through on paper.Get out of your head and into your body. Whenever I find myself too in my head and overthinking things, taking a break to move my body always helps me to recenter and tap into my creativity. So many of my best ideas have come when out for a walk or in an exercise class. Movement helps me to be present and allow, which is the perfect equation for creativity to flow through.Consciously try new things. It’s easy to get in creative ruts when our lives feel like they’re lived on autopilot. Sometimes the monotony of the same places, people, and things every day can turn off our creative minds. The simple act of mixing up your life can help rectify that. Try a new coffee shop, take a different route to work, or even go for a walk in a new part of town. New experiences can give our minds that creative spark we’ve been yearning for.Give yourself time to unplug. One of the biggest hindrances to my own creativity is when I’ve spent too much of my time staring at a screen. While technology gives us so much, it also can zap our creative flow. Make sure you have time in your life outside of a computer, phone, or television. In unplugging from technology, you can plug back into your creativity.

I hope these simple reminders can help you remember your innate creativity! Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

xo, Michelle

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One Thing I’m Prioritizing in my Life

Dear friends,

If you and I were to be in a casual chat with one another, and you asked me what it is that I do, unequivocally, without thinking twice, I would say that I am a writer. For years, my identity has been encompassed around my ability to write. I’ve always liked writing, I’ve generally found writing pretty easy, and for the cherry on top, writing has allowed me to connect with all of you.

Writing is the thing that’s always made sense to me, it has been my foundation, my identity, and my purpose. What happens though when that thing that you rely everything on, starts to fall away?

Last year, writing started to become hard and my world slowly turned upside down. I would sit down to write and the screen would stare blankly back at me, when in the past the words would effortlessly flow. Knowing that writing was everything to me, and that the words weren’t coming to screen was incredibly painful.

But I pushed through, because like I said, writing was everything to me (and I placed a very weird badge of honor on myself of never taking a break, which I’ll talk about more in a bit). I wasn’t ready to face the notion that writing and I might possibly need to stop, so I accepted the frustration and continued to put out content week after week.

Over the summer I embarked on a writing project that has been a dream of mine for most of my life: a book. I’ve had an idea for a book I want to write for quite some time, and even though I was in a really challenging writing space, I kept pushing myself to start, because I made myself believe it was the next progression in my life, the natural next step. In a world where everyone is #nevernotworking, I felt that I needed to keep pushing to produce new content and to stay relevant.

This push I now recognize was a fear, of course, but I’ll get to that shortly. When I sat down to start the book, the words wouldn’t come. My mind was blank. I felt completely empty. And afraid.

For years I’ve had ideas and written paragraphs in my mind of how my book would be, and now, nothing. Thoughts flooded my brain about what it meant that I couldn’t write, and yet not one thought came through of the content I was desperately trying to create.

I started to resent writing because it brought me so much agony, I dreaded sitting down to my computer, it became a total chore. My passion was now torturous, and I felt completely overwhelmed.

The fear of stopping, of what it would make me if I took a break, perpetuated my anguish. I was afraid that stopping meant I would never start again. That I would be forgotten. That I would lose my skills. That maybe I would never even want to write again, and then where would that leave me? A writer, who no longer writes?

But I knew I couldn’t do what I was doing any more, and certainly I couldn’t write an entire book feeling this way. I couldn’t publish something that came from that place of me. So, I had a long talk with my mom about what I was experiencing and she blankly suggested that I give myself permission to stop.

I took in her advice, and finally I caved. After 7 years of writing weekly content, I stopped. And it felt amazing. The relief I experienced was immediate.

Taking a break gave me space to breathe and to just be. My brain was no longer on overload constantly trying to think of my next witty quip, and it just became the witness to what life presented to me. I explored new creative outlets and allowed myself to sit in that space between the knowing and the unknown, and it was okay. I didn’t need to be afraid, because this new space allowed so many amazing things to enter my life.

It’s been six months since I stopped writing, I wanted to allow myself the time to refill my well, to experience life so that I could have something to write about, and I’m really happy to be back, and share what this experience meant to me.

If you’ve read this far in the blog and are thinking, well this is really great, but I’m not a writer and this doesn’t apply, I promise you, it does. We all have things that we tie to our identities, that we use to seek approval or value or worth, that we fear giving up because what it will mean for our lives, and it’s always okay to take a break from them.

Your identity is not based on what you do or how well you do it. Your value doesn’t rely on your consistency and grueling dedication. Your place in this world isn’t dependent on actions, but rather your ability to just be. Life doesn’t need us to be in a perpetual grind to be happy, successful, and worthy.

Is there something that your soul has been craving a break from that you aren’t listening to?

What would happen if you allowed yourself to take that break?

What limiting beliefs can you release yourself from, in knowing that it’s okay to take a break? A break can be for whatever feels right for you too, by the way.

Trust that whatever it is you’re being called to break from, if it’s truly meant to be in your life, will be there waiting for you when it’s time to return. It just might look differently than you expected it to, or your relationship with it might be different. And that’s okay! I’m giving you permission to gift yourself the space of a break, and I can’t wait to hear what unfolds when you do.

xo, Michelle

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5 Things I’m no Longer Spending my Energy on

My dear friends,

If there’s one thing I know for certain, it’s that our time on this earth is finite. We are all only here for a short time, and if you’re reading this blog, you likely want to make sure your time here is well-spent.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more aware and discerning of the people, places, and situations that are truly worth my energy, another precious and finite resource. I’m someone who considers myself a recovering people pleaser, so it’s a natural tendency to give away my energy freely, lacking discernment. As we all know, giving too much, without intentional, purposeful care to refill your own cup, leads to exhaustion, overwhelm, and lower sense of self.

This week, I wanted to share with you five things that I’ve determined are not a good use of my time and energy. Since actively trying to release these five from my life, I’ve noticed a myriad of benefits, and I just feel so much better. Like with so many things, this is a practice, I work on it every day, but any practice is always worth it. I hope this helps you, too, if you find yourself in your own energy deficits.

Trying to change other people. What I’ve learned for certain is that it’s not my job to change anyone else. I can’t force someone to change their behavior or to act a certain way, so this one goes at the top of my list as one of my biggest energy drains. In relationships where I do wish to see change in order to make it healthy and functional, I can consciously communicate my desires, but I know that I must leave everything else up to the other person. Worrying about things I can’t control. There is so much in life that we can’t control. Actually, the only thing we really can control is our reactions and responses to life as it happens. Knowing this to be true, it’s always in my best interest to release the need to white knuckle life and try to force or manipulate things to happen. All I can do is show up for life, every day, and do my best, knowing that this is always enough.Seeking to be perfect. I don’t always consider myself a perfectionist in the traditional sense, but I do notice I tend to hold myself to a high standard. Meaning, I have the highest expectations with not a ton of grace when I don’t live up to them, which obviously leads to many difficult emotions. What I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is perfection isn’t real and it isn’t possible. People won’t like me or respect me more if I were “perfect”. People are drawn to authenticity, vulnerability, and the messiness that comes along with it. Embrace who you are rather than trying to be something that isn’t even possible. Living to obtain acceptance from other people. Not everyone will like you or understand you, and I used to think I could change that. Now I know that I don’t have to live my life for other people, I don’t need to seek external approval or acceptance of other people. I know that my life will be well-lived if I have felt that deep love, care, and acceptance for myself. Striving to understand rather than cultivating acceptance. Whenever something challenging happens in my life, I’ve always sought to understand why. Why did this person act this way? Why did this certain situation happen? Why? I’ve spent countless hours searching for the “why’s” rather than leaning into acceptance for what is. I’ve learned that I may never know why things happen or why people behave as they do, and I can’t spend my life trying to find it. I can, however, spend my life embracing acceptance, understanding my own feelings, and acting accordingly.

I hope these help you this week! Let me know if you have areas in your life that you are relinquishing your energy from!

xo, Michelle

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The Importance of Gratitude in Difficult Times

Dear friends,

I know that live presents us with many opportunities, every day, to feel down, depressed, and overwhelmed. This aspect of life is natural, and is something we all go through; life is challenging. Knowing this to be true, there are simultaneously so many things that we can be grateful for, even in the difficulty. So this week, I wanted to send you all a helpful note about the importance of gratitude.

Sometimes I get stuck in really negative mind games with myself. I think we all do, right?  Sometimes we have bad days. Maybe we spend too much time watching the news, or on the Internet comparing ourselves with others.  Or, maybe we’ve eaten poorly, or we have received bad news at work.

Whatever the situation may be, we’ve all been there when our mind runs amuck, and takes us down a rabbit hole to a pretty negative place. It’s not the nicest place to be, but over time, I’ve learned how to get myself out. That’s been my saving grace, especially in these really dramatic days.

The world we live in gives us a million reasons why we should think our lives are in shambles, or why we should think we aren’t good enough, and this is really unfortunate. Good thing for us though, there are tools that we can use to combat this. One of the most powerful practices for overcoming the comparison, depression, and rabbit-hole thinking mind game is gratitude.

So what is gratitude exactly? I’m sure by this point you’ve heard the word a million times on lots of other websites similar to this one. This is my definition: “Gratitude is being present to what is, honoring the present moment, whatever it may contain, and accepting it. Gratitude is saying thank you and being truly appreciative for the privileges of your life. Gratitude is also paying it forward and showing kindness to someone else. It is acknowledging life in ourselves and others in each breath. Gratitude is never taking for granted anything that we rely on every day to survive.”

So, how can we remember to be more grateful, every day?

I’m glad you asked!

Here are some fun ways to incorporate gratitude into your daily routine:

―Wake up, open your eyes, and say thank you for another day of life.

―Every time you go to eat, silently bless your food.

―When walking down streets, thank your body for the ability to move with ease. If this doesn’t apply to you for physical reasons, you can use other parts of your body instead.

―Randomly select a loved one each week to text (or better yet call) to tell them you appreciate them in your life

―At the end of each day, take a few moments to recap your day, say thank you for all that you experienced, and all the breaths taken.

Remember gratitude is the positive attitude we all can use daily!

I hope this little list serves you. Keep me posted in the comments below!

xo, Michelle

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