Edward Hoornaert's Blog, page 14

Effing Feline confesses #wewriwa

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I, Effing Feline, have a confession to make, something I’ve never told anyone except a few thousand of my closest online fans. I come from a broken home. I never knew my father — he skipped out on my mother before I was born. He never even paid kitten-support. I think that explains why I sniff so much catnip, don’t you?

Those of you who have real fathers who taught you to cough up fur balls and eat mice, be thankful for him. Also be thankful if your father doesn’t look like this cool tom, who looks like something out of a Star Trek episode. What do you think his kittens look like?

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Photo: SPLITPICS UK

.Our heroine, beautiful Janet Davis, is approaching the quarantine  after bribing a supply boat driver to smuggle her onto the island. She arrives just in time to see Billy Seaweed leap off a cliff. In the final lines from last week, the boat driver said, “Please, lady, let me take you back. You don’t want to die like that crazy nut, eh?”

Janet trembled, yet strangely, the suicide calmed her. “I’ll die anyway; we all die.”

Words tumbled out of her. “This way, there’s at least a chance my death will be meaningful. Back in college I dreamed of being a writer, a great writer — or at least a published one. “But then I met Franklin, and I’ve always…”

She stroked her cheeks. “This face.” She ran her hands down to cup her breasts, not caring if she gave him ideas. “This body…”

(two more)

Swallowing hard, she lowered her hands. “I always settled for what they brought to my feet, like offerings . . . but they were always the easy things, the second-best things.”

Effing Feline here again. The cat in that picture I showed you is just as weird as someone like Janet Davis who chooses to get smuggled into a quarantine, don’t you think?

Read about the cat’s kittens here. And also, here’s a pic from the Star Trek episode I referred to:

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Be sure to visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

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The Saint of Quarantine Island

Maybe you’ve read about viruses that turn people into zombies. But how about a virus that turns people into madmen, some of whom become creative geniuses?

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The Saint of Quarantine Island escapes from its pre-sale quarantine on July 1, 2020. Until then, it’s available at a special reduced price. Don’t wait — the price will be rising as surely as Billy Seaweed’s mania.

Amazon | Canada | Australia | UK
Apple IBooks
Barnes and Noble
Kobo Books
Smashwords

A Saintly Quotation

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from The Saint of Quarantine Island, a novel that will be released July 1.

A rare political statement

I hate when celebrities make their politics known. It politicizes them. Instead of seeing a character onscreen, I see a political position.

Same thing for stores. I really, really, really don’t want to know the political leanings of a store’s owners. It turns going to a place like Chick-fil-a into a political statement that I either have to agree with or disagree with. It makes me feel I’m donating to a cause instead of forcing myself to eat the world’s worst nuggets.

So I keep my politics to myself. Not that I’m a celebrity.

But today, I’m going to make an exception.

I’m in favor of making June 19, also known as Juneteenth, a national holiday. It’s close to my birthday and my wedding anniversary, so the date is perfect for a holiday, almost like a personal celebration. A holiday just for me!

And oh yes: it might help to heal some of the racial divisions in the U.S. Which we really need.

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Click here to learn about Juneteenth.

The Saint of Quarantine Island — the setting

All about the setting of

The Saint of Quarantine Island

People who’ve read The Saint of Quarantine Island have commented that the setting is especially vivid. That’s because I was writing what I knew.

Decades ago, when I was fresh out of university, I taught at Echo Bay’s one-room school. Although it’s been a long time, the place is vivid in my mind. Unless you had a large boat and were an experienced sailor, float planes were the only way in or out.

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The wild, wet, sparsely inhabited British Columbia coast (Photo courtesy Depositphotos)

The US equivalent would be a logging village of a few dozen people, 50 miles outside of Ketchican, Alaska. There were no roads or cars, so the students came to school on a schoolboat. No  stores, either, or 24-hour electricity, or telephones, or radio . . .   you name it, Echo Bay didn’t have it.

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Having lived in such a remote place is an important part of my life story. The dense forests, the rugged terrain, the smell of the ocean, the wildlife . . . they’re part of me even now. Echo Bay had only 13 inhabitants at the time, most of whom live in floathouses — like Billy Seaweed’s place, where Janet lived while waiting for Kendo.

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Floathouses like Billy Seaweed’s at Echo Bay (Photo by the author)

All the locations mentioned in the novel really exist, but I freely modified them to fit the story. For example, although Billy’s cliff at Echo Bay is as described, I made the bay itself larger; I wanted Billy’s floathouse to be more isolated. Another example: there’s a small lake at the location I call Beloved Lake, but it’s unnamed even on my largest maps.

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The cliff Billy jumps off of at the opening of the book. (Photo by the author)

Fun fact: if Gilford was in the US, it’d be the fourth largest island in the lower forty-eight states—yet virtually none of you, I bet, had ever heard of it.

I had a blast writing about places that mean something to me. Judi and I shared the teaching in the one-room school which became the island’s infirmary. We lived in the teacherage where Kendo lives; our bedroom was the room from which Peter kidnapped Janet. I attended university in Kendo’s hometown of Nelson. Sitting in Arizona writing The Saint of Gilford Island felt like revisiting these places from my youth, and I hope you enjoy the visit as much as I did.

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The Echo Bay school (left) where Kendo and Janet made love and the teacherage (right) from which Janet was kidnapped. (Photo by the author)

This book explores the relationship between madness and creativity. I can’t emphasize enough, though, that the residents of Gilford Island are not mad. But many of them are creative. A few years ago, BCBookLook.com reported that four of Echo Bay’s ten inhabitants were authors, boasting a total of nine books. Maybe there’s some creative magic on the island after all!

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The Saint of Quarantine Island

Maybe you’ve read about viruses that turn people into zombies. But how about a virus that turns people into madmen, some of whom become creative geniuses?

[image error]Spurred by her husband’s infidelity, a suburban housewife smuggles herself into a wilderness quarantine to catch the new disease. She’s hoping to redeem her empty life by writing a great book . . . and maybe, just maybe, find love with the man called the Saint of Gilford Island. She’d once spent a memorable, though oddly chaste, night with him. Surely he’ll help her.

But a lifetime’s exile on an island of madmen — pirates, a suicidal Indian boy, an arrogant Cambridge scientist, a licentious cult leader, all of them periodically insane then sane and back again — is crueler than any suburban daydream. To survive, she’ll need to adapt.

Adapt how, though? Even if she wins the saint’s love, nothing in her life — or anyone’s life, ever – could possibly prepare her for the unpredictable society these creative madmen have built.

The Saint of Quarantine Island escapes from its pre-sale quarantine on July 1, 2020. Until then, it’s available at a special reduced price. Don’t wait — the price will be rising as surely as Billy Seaweed’s mania.

Amazon | Canada | Australia | UK
Apple IBooks
Barnes and Noble
Kobo Books
Smashwords

A handsome hero, eh? #mfrwhooks

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In these snippets from my sci fi rom, Alien Contact for Kid Sisters, the ‘hero’ is Quinn, a petty crook and conman masquerading as a Royal Guardian. He has led Marianne Harmon, the queen’s sister, to an old, abandoned town from before his people ‘hopped’ to our earth. He assures her she’ll be safe from violent rebels.

But will she be safe from him?

The temptation to barge into the room where Marianne was bathing felt nearly irresistible. After an argument with himself, he settled for poking his head into the bathhouse’s anteroom.

“You two okay?”

“Wonderful,” Marianne answered from the second room down the hall. “Give us another fifteen minutes.”

Splashing punctuated the rhythmic whir of the tailor. The fresh-air smell of soap teased his nose. “How about I scrub your back?”

A big splash, like someone diving under the water. “Stay out there, you pervert.”

“What’s a pervert?” he asked. She’d spoken the word in English.

“Look in a mirror.”

“Ah. It means a handsome hero, eh?”

Marianne trilled a musical laugh. “Stay outside.”

He entered the anteroom, because even though the streets were deserted, it was best not to advertise his presence. He leaned against a wall and tapped an impatient rhythm with his foot. Craning his neck, he glimpsed long legs and spectacular buttocks that would haunt his dreams tonight.

Temptation waggled a come-hither finger at him. With a sigh, he moved to the opposite wall, with no view. Doing the right thing was hard. Boring, too.

That thought brought his quandary pouring down on his spirits again. Shaking his head, he lowered it and cradled it in both hands. He didn’t stop shaking it until the whirr of the drying jets told him she wouldn’t be a naked water nymph for long…except in his imagination.

Was there anything he could do to keep Marianne from learning the truth about him?

Uh, Quinn . . . maybe you should’ve been honest with her from the start?

Be sure to visit the hooks by other great writers in the Book Hooks blog hop.

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This month, SFR Station is trying to spread the word for authors who sell direct. They’re sponsoring a 30% off sale, including my own Love Thy Galactic Enemy. See all the books here.

 

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Alien Contact for Kid Sisters

Fleeing murderous rebels, the queen’s sister finds a hero to save her.

Or is he kidnapping her, instead?

[image error]Marianne is sick of being just the kid sister of the famous queen of Kwadra Island. Although she daydreams about being a warrior, when rebels bomb the royal ball she’s shunted to one of the many tunnels that honeycomb Kwadra, where she awaits a captain of the valiant Royal Guardians.

Quinn, a scam artist fleeing the police, dons the uniform of a Royal Guardian killed by a tunnel collapse. When Marianne mistakes him for her bodyguard, Quinn can’t decide whether to save the feisty maiden, fall in love with her—or kidnap her. With bloodthirsty rebels pursuing them and a treasure map in his pocket, what will he choose?

Buy it directly from Ed’s new online bookstore, or at any of these fine outlets.

Amazon | Canada | UK  | Australia
Apple iBooks
Smashwords
Kobo Books
Barnes and Noble

Effing Feline overeats #wewriwa

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I, Effing Feline, am suffering  from a horrible case of stomach woes after eating several — eight, actually — cans of salmon in quick succession. I’m taking a quick break from the litter box to turn today’s blog post over to my pet human, Ed.

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Ed here, folks. I have some questions for you, relating to my upcoming novel, The Saint of Quarantine Island.

How far would you go to turn yourself into a better writer?
What if there was a disease that offer a chance of increasing your creativity . . . would you take that chance, and expose yourself to the disease?
What if the disease was incurable? And it meant lifetime exile to a quarantine island? And it messed with your mind, driving you periodically crazy?
Would you still do it?

Spurred by her husband’s infidelity, our heroine, Janet Davis, says YES to all of the above. She’s approaching the quarantine  after bribing a supply boat driver to smuggle her onto the island. She arrives just in time to see Billy Seaweed leap off a cliff.

For several seconds, Janet watched the figure standing there atop the cliff. Then she turned to the driver and immediately looked away because he was staring at her and shaking his head. If they made love, he’d beg her afterward not to go to Gilford, to come away with him instead so he could keep her safe and protected.

Up ahead, the orange-clad figure plunged off the cliff.

Janet gasped. The driver swore and gunned the boat’s engine to a roar.

A professional stunt man might survive such a jump . . . but a normal human being? Had she really seen what she’d seen? A glance at the driver’s grim, squinting eyes confirmed the worst; the reality of death invaded her like saltwater into the jumper’s lungs.

“Please, lady, let me take you back. You don’t want to die like that crazy nut, eh?”

Effing Feline here again. If I were Janet, I’d let the driver take me back to —

Uh oh! Time for a sprint to the litter box — sorry!

Be sure to visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

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The Saint of Quarantine Island

Maybe you’ve read about viruses that turn people into zombies. But how about a virus that turns people into madmen, some of whom become creative geniuses?

[image error]Spurred by her husband’s infidelity, a suburban housewife smuggles herself into a wilderness quarantine to catch the new disease. She’s hoping to redeem her empty life by writing a great book . . . and maybe, just maybe, find love with the man called the Saint of Gilford Island. She’d once spent a memorable, though oddly chaste, night with him. Surely he’ll help her.

But a lifetime’s exile on an island of madmen — pirates, a suicidal Indian boy, an arrogant Cambridge scientist, a licentious cult leader, all of them periodically insane then sane and back again — is crueler than any suburban daydream. To survive, she’ll need to adapt.

Adapt how, though? Even if she wins the saint’s love, nothing in her life — or anyone’s life, ever – could possibly prepare her for the unpredictable society these creative madmen have built.

The Saint of Quarantine Island escapes from its pre-sale quarantine on July 1, 2020. Until then, it’s available at a special reduced price. Don’t wait — the price will be rising as surely as Billy Seaweed’s mania.

Amazon | Canada | Australia | UK
Apple IBooks
Barnes and Noble
Kobo Books
Smashwords

Chaos reigns in my household #mfrw

I should be formatting the paperback version of The Saint of Quarantine Island. I’m not.

I should be visiting and commenting on snippets that people posted to MFRW’s Book Hooks blog hop. I’m not.

Because Fate is interfering.

You see, there’s a wildfire in the mountains just north of us. It doesn’t threaten our house, but my sister and her daughter are under an evacuation notice — so they’re at my place. Below was the view last night, looking uphill from near where my sister lives. (Photo from KOLD News – kold.com)[image error]

We have no idea how long they’ll be here. My niece is trying to arrange altertnate accomodation.

Anyway, if you’re one of the people with a snippet I’m not commenting on, please bear with me. Thanks!

I can’t wait to get out of this dress #mfrwhooks

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In these snippets from my sci fi rom, Alien Contact for Kid Sisters, the ‘hero’ is Quinn, a petty crook and conman masquerading as a Royal Guardian. He has led Marianne Harmon, the queen’s sister, to an old, abandoned town from before his people ‘hopped’ to our earth. He assures her she’ll be safe from violent rebels.

But will she be safe from him?

Marianne straightened up and, after a brief pause, smiled at Quinn. “Lead me to the bathhouse. I can’t wait to get out of this dress.”

Quinn cocked his head to one side and raked his gaze over her body.

“That didn’t come out right,” she said.

He resumed walking, more slowly this time. She followed.

“I’m sure you know what I mean,” she said. “I imagine you want a bath, too.”

Although he said nothing, he turned his head to look at her. For a moment she was puzzled, but then she remembered Kwadrans used communal baths with both sexes in the same pool.

“I didn’t mean that, either,” she said. “I wasn’t inviting you to bathe with us. You’d shock poor Elfy.”

The girl turned and knit her brows. “Huh?”

Marianne opened her mouth, but shut it without speaking. How could she explain nudity taboos to a child who’d grown up without them?

After a few minutes, Quinn stopped in front of a one-story building much like all the others, except that the windows and door glowed with light. “The bathhouse.”

The moment of truth is at hand for poor Marianne.

Be sure to visit the hooks by other great writers in the Book Hooks blog hop.

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I’m new to selling books directly off my website, but so far it’s running smoothly. The tricky part, as always, is getting the word out to readers.

This month, SFR Station is trying to spread the word for authors who sell direct. They’re sponsoring a 30% off sale, including my own Love Thy Galactic Enemy. See all the books here.

 

[image error]

Alien Contact for Kid Sisters

Fleeing murderous rebels, the queen’s sister finds a hero to save her.

Or is he kidnapping her, instead?

[image error]Marianne is sick of being just the kid sister of the famous queen of Kwadra Island. Although she daydreams about being a warrior, when rebels bomb the royal ball she’s shunted to one of the many tunnels that honeycomb Kwadra, where she awaits a captain of the valiant Royal Guardians.

Quinn, a scam artist fleeing the police, dons the uniform of a Royal Guardian killed by a tunnel collapse. When Marianne mistakes him for her bodyguard, Quinn can’t decide whether to save the feisty maiden, fall in love with her—or kidnap her. With bloodthirsty rebels pursuing them and a treasure map in his pocket, what will he choose?

Buy it directly from Ed’s new online bookstore, or at any of these fine outlets.

Amazon | Canada | UK  | Australia
Apple iBooks
Smashwords
Kobo Books
Barnes and Noble

Congratulations to the Prism Awards Finalists

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The Fantasy, Futuristic, and Paranormal chapter of RWA is pleased and proud to announce the finalists of the 2020 Prism Awards Contest for Excellence in Published Paranormal Romance.

Please join me in congratulating the finalists!

Dark Paranormal *

Chase’s Fire by Casey Wyatt
Darkness Rising by Katie Reus
The Rookie by Abigail Owen
The Rogue King by Abigail Owen

Fantasy

Deadly Courtship by Jaycee Jarvis
Promise of Darkness by Bec McMaster
The Eyes of Tamburah by Maria V Snyder

Steampunk

Dukes are Forever by Bec McMaster
Eden’s Voice by Catherine Stein
Not a Mourning Person by Catherine Stein

Light Paranormal

Bishop Takes Knight by McKenna Dean
Demon on the Down-Low by E.J. Russell
Found by  Meg Benjamin

Novella

Jaguar’s Mate A Crescent Moon Novella by Katie Reus
Sinner by Lana Pecherczyk
Thief of Dreams by Bec McMaster

Sci Fi & Futuristic *

Greed by Lana Pecherczyk
Heart of Eon by Anna Hackett
Red Awakening by Janet Elizabeth Henderson
Red Zone by Janet Elizabeth Henderson

Urban Fantasy

Charming Marjani by Rebecca Rivard
Reach for Me by Elizabeth Cole
Retribution by Joanna Homer

Young Adult

Chasing the Shadows by Maria V Snyder
Enduring Destiny by Shaila Patel
Evergreen by Marissa Doyle

Best First Book

Bitten: Confessions of a Menopausal Vampire by Melinda Rucker Haynes
Bound in Flame by Katherine Kayne
North to Nora by Amanda Martin

Finalists are listed in alphabetical order by book title.

* Indicates a tie in the category.

The link to the webpage is 2020 Prism Finalists

Effing Feline watches the news #wewriwa

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I, Effing Feline, know a lot is going on in the world right now. How do I know? I follow the news, of course. Don’t you? Of course you do.

You know what the saddest, most disturbing thing in the news is? I’ll tell you after this word from my sponsor, Ed’s upcoming novel, The Saint of Quarantine Island.

We left fourteen-year-old Billy Seaweed atop a cliff, trying to bottle up the mania energy churning inside him. But the supply boat distracts him. It’s two days early, which means it’s carrying not supplies but another crazy white guy (in this case a crazy white woman) who wants to catch fireworks and become a genius.

Here’s how last week’s snippet ended: “Except that in the past, he’d survived the jump from the cliff only by harnessing his explosive burst of energy until the last possible moment. It was hard to leap past the submerged rocks.”

None of the white guys could do it. They all went splat, turning themselves into itty bitty squishy fishy food.

Not him, though, because he was Billy Seaweed, the last of the fucking Mohicans. Sure, he was Kwakiutl, not Mohican, but the principle was the same — last of his tribe, here on Gilford at least. And he could fly, man, fly!

Whooping so loudly he startled the gulls riding the cliff’s updrafts, Billy backed into the bushes clogging the edge of the forest. He was enough in control of himself to brace one leg against a lodgepole pine so he could push off.

“Not dumb,” he shouted. “Not fucking crazy. Not me-ee-ee-ee-ee!”

And one more for good luck.

And with that, he ran as hard as he could for three meters, until suddenly there were no rocks under his feet or moss or kinnikinick or bird-dropping stains, only rain and air and wind, and death, and he was flying through the mist toward the supply raft, shouting and laughing maniacally.

Effing Feline here again. The saddest story on the news these days, by far, is that Fluffy’s owner ran out of tuna and is feeding her dry cat food. Oh, the horror! Is anything going on in the world of human news shows?

Be sure to visit the other great writers in Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday.

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The Saint of Quarantine Island

Maybe you’ve read about viruses that turn people into zombies. But how about a virus that turns people into madmen, some of whom become creative geniuses?

[image error]Spurred by her husband’s infidelity, a suburban housewife smuggles herself into a wilderness quarantine to catch the new disease. She’s hoping to redeem her empty life by writing a great book . . . and maybe, just maybe, find love with the man called the Saint of Gilford Island. She’d once spent a memorable, though oddly chaste, night with him. Surely he’ll help her.

But a lifetime’s exile on an island of madmen — pirates, a suicidal Indian boy, an arrogant Cambridge scientist, a licentious cult leader, all of them periodically insane then sane and back again — is crueler than any suburban daydream. To survive, she’ll need to adapt.

Adapt how, though? Even if she wins the saint’s love, nothing in her life — or anyone’s life, ever – could possibly prepare her for the unpredictable society these creative madmen have built.

The Saint of Quarantine Island escapes from its pre-sale quarantine on July 1, 2020. Until then, it’s available at a special reduced price. Don’t wait — the price will be rising as surely as Billy Seaweed’s mania.

Amazon | Canada | Australia | UK
Apple IBooks
Barnes and Noble
Kobo Books
Smashwords