Sally Clarkson's Blog, page 57

Time to Turn My House into Christmas Wonderland!

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful; for beauty is God's handwriting - a wayside sacrament.  Welcome it in every fair face, in every fair sky, in every fair flower, and thank God for it as a cup of blessing.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

When God prepared the garden as a first home for his first children, He did not make it merely utilitarian, but a place of color, variety, and eye-pleasing design-- a place of visual, emotional, intellectual, and physical comfort for His first son and daughter. There was fruit of every sort, probably at the peak of sweetness, with spices, herbs, nuts, grains, trees, flowers--the reflection of His own artwork in every square foot of garden.

A part of God's inherent nature was to create and provide pleasure to His creatures through what He made.

And so, as a co-creator, made in God's likeness, we extend beauty, creativity, and pleasure within the confines of our own realms, too.

Over the years, cultivating seasonal beauty has become a pleasure for me  and a gratifying one, too, as our home feels like the most wonderful place in the world for my children to be because of all the heart -strings we have tied by sharing in the atmosphere through life-giving moments and traditions over many years. Even now, when we live in different places, we love to come together and enjoy the decorations and accoutrements to many years of celebration whenever we can!

I do not buy much, as I have used mostly things passed down or purchased one at a time over many decades of marriage. I have lived in tiny apartments and sprawling old homes, but have found it is God's beauty expressed through you through your own design that matters. Sometimes a small candlelight in a cozy room is all that is needed to create a place of rest and a sense of haven.

So many words have been crafted about whether we devalue the beauty and simplicity of the Christ story through all of the contemporary ways we have marketed and made Christmas into a secular holiday. Should we celebrate with Christmas trees—and if we do, are we validating pagan ways? I have prayed and pondered over all of these issues, myself.

Yet, there has never been any confusion in our home with our own children. We are not pagans--we love Jesus in front of our children every day of the year. We have used our tree as a symbol that God is eternally the same--the evergreen is a picture of His never-changing nature and ever present love throughout eternity. We talk about the lights, and how beautifully they sparkle as a picture of our need to bring light to a dark world. We have spent hours and hours of memorable "discipleship" moments sitting in our lit room, candles flickering, sharing hearts and growing closer.

The Christmas story is the most important way in this season that we celebrate God's beauty, life, love, and goodness. Home should be a haven, a storehouse, for creativity and the glory of workmanship that shows the divine spark of our ability to create an atmosphere that breathes the life of Christ. Home should encompass all that is good, inspirational, true, comforting, loving, and real for our children.

The world around us holds temptation and darkness. That is why we all long for a place of comfort, a retreat of rest, a sanctuary of life where we may find a haven in which to restore the light in our souls.

When we, as women, create an atmosphere that invites and welcomes our children, husbands and families every day, they will always see our home as a place of restoration, a haven in the storms of life. It is one of the glories of womanhood to craft home into that place that warms the hearts, stills the fears, and captivates the imaginations of those who live there, for the glory of God.

Creating a beautiful haven gives all who enter a place for their work, play, creating and living of life. And so, though the work is long, we seek every day, to create the beauty of His presence, not only in our words, but also in the atmosphere that supports our messages.

Peace to you this day, and I pray your own Christmas—fying is a joy! :)

We Exercise Self-Control: Our 24 Family Ways #23

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Way #23We exercise self-control at all times and in every kind of situation.Memory Verse: 

"A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." -Proverbs 29:11

 As many of you know, my daughter Joy recently received her PhD from Saint Andrews. However, in my podcast yesterday, I talked about the most important way that she was able to acquire her PhD. It wasn’t about being brilliant or superior to her peers.

But it was about the character quality of being self governed, practicing faithfulness, learning to work hard and thoroughly as a young child. Steadfast work and self government to keep going is at the heart of all great accomplishments.

A sweet mom recently came over for tea and said she felt like pulling her hair out.  (Don't we all at times?)

When she described her situation, I understood that she was afraid to train or discipline her children at all for fear they would not like her, so she rarely required an honorable response from them. This resulted in some quite stressful and chaotic times in their home.

Often, moms allow unruly behavior, calling their lack of response “grace”.  Yet children who are not directed or taught to practice becoming stronger little by little, ruling over their impulses actually become unhappy and frustrated with themselves. Getting their own way all the time does not satisfy a child's longing for security and self- control..

.Self-government is defined this way: a person learning to command his impulses, build good habits, healthy emotions, working hard to form a strong intellect, and talents, and rule over his will in a productive way. We can all grow stronger in this way, bit by bit.⠀ Children can begin this at a very early age, and I have found this skill to be of utmost importance to adults, too, as one cannot be a mature believer unless one has mastered self-government, self-control, and patience--or at least be growing in that direction!

The idea behind self-government is that all of us have power and authority over our own lives. This power comes from within, and can help us master problems, surmount obstacles, and achieve great things. Self-government doesn’t mean working out life all on our own effort, without the power of God, but instead affirms that we have a moral character that can be strengthened by our will, through practice. The person who has cultivated this kind of strong character is useful and productive in every area of life.

This quality helps a believer exercise faith, courage, and perseverance in the midst of trials. It is what helps a pianist to practice long hours, an athlete to exercise rigorously in order to become a champion, a missionary to master a language and remain faithful in a foreign country until there is a multiplying ministry, a wife to bear up with grace when married to an immature husband, a mother to continue over and over to practice patience with a sick or rebellious child. It is the unseen power of governing life by mature, faith-based choices as opposed to temporary, self-centered feelings.

Self-governing isn’t the natural default of a child’s behavior, of course. We taught it to our children intentionally. We can see the biblical principle for self-government in this passage from Deuteronomy: “I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants.” (Deuteronomy 30:19)

God tells the Israelites to obey Him, and if they do, they will be blessed. If they don’t obey, they will be cursed–there were consequences to their decisions. In life all choices have consequences. Our children need to understand that they will reap what they sow.

I used to say to my children over and over again: “Daddy and I cannot make you into great people. You have the power to determine how strong you become by how you exercise your will. We can train you and teach you how to be good and how to be righteous, but you have to decide to obey, and you have to decide that you want to become a person of godly character. God made you such a wonderful child, so I hope you will decide to do your best to become all that you can be. It is in your hands. It is yours to decide to respond correctly, but I am praying and hoping that you will.”

When we appeal to our children’s hearts for excellence and choices of good behavior, then we are giving them the will and desire to be excellent for themselves. Their desire comes from within and their motivation is from the heart. But if we train them behaviorally by always forcing them to do what we want them to do because they might get a spanking or some other kind of threatened discipline if they don’t, their motivation is to avoid spanking or harshness, not to please God or to please their parents by having a good heart and responding in obedience.

My desire as a mom is that my children would internalize all the precepts we have taught them over the years. I want them to love God and obey Him because they earnestly love Him and desire to please Him. This foundation will carry them throughout all the decision-making processes they will face for the rest of their lives.

If you have the desire to go deeper today, feel free to complete the reflection and application below:

• "I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants.” Deuteronomy 30:19

It’s our job as mamas to set before our children life and death—and to encourage them to choose life! What are you doing to draw your children toward life?

• “Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit.” Proverbs 25:28

What a frightening picture this was at the time this scripture was written! A city without walls had no protection; no vantage point to watch for enemies; no means of defense. And so we are, when we have no self-control. Is self-control an area in your own life that could use some work? How can you build your own “city walls”?

Education of morals, habits, character and faith determine the foundations upon which a life will be built. Strong foundations lend themselves to vast structures. Make a plan today about how you will build those foundations into your own life and that of your children!

Our 24 Family Ways: A Family Devotional Guide By Clarkson, Clay

Tea Time Tuesday: Preparing Room In Your Heart For Friendship

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

One of the reasons I love the Christmas season is that it reminds me to make time for those I love and cherish. Making time for meals, tea times, where I plan on seeking out the one in front of me—to look into their eyes, to discern the weights they carry, to leave them with the fragrance of love and acceptance—these are some of my goals when I make time to share life over a cup of tea or coffee.

Last night, I was typing away to create a blog out of the podcast I had been struggling to record for almost 2 hours. A gentle knock on my door temporarily distracted me.

“Can I come in?” Joy quietly asked.

In her hands were two mugs of foamed milk, sprinkled with brown sugar atop—(A holiday touch)—and filled with decaf spicy bedtime tea. A surprise that absolutely delighted me. Someone had thought of me—someone had spoiled me—a rare treat.

Have any of us ever had too much love or encouragement? Too many words of appreciation? Too many acts of kindness? I know I haven’t.

We all long for kindred spirits — those with whom we could spend hours dreaming, laughing, and sharing our heart’s troubles. But many people I know struggle to find those kindred spirits. Living our busy lives, we hope that lifelong friendships will fall into our lap, or come knocking at our front door. But over many years of struggling with loneliness myself, I’ve found that the best way to cultivate a true, deep-rooted friendship is to commit to seeking them out, intentionally going out of our way to invite a new friend over for a cup of tea and a deep discussion. And so, many years ago, a weekly appointment for cups or tea or coffee with my “besties” or my children became a lifetime commitment.

It is my tea time friendships that have built deep connection with those who know me and still love me. Make this month a time of thoughtful connection with your own tea time friends. The photo above is one in which one of my tea time friends prepared a memory for us together over tea.

Lessons of a PHD with Dr. Joy Clarkson

Why we need advent: Sarah Clarkson

Scripture: A Joyful Heart is Good Medicine—when one of us is very happy, it spreads the happiness to all of us.

Favorite Christmas Album: Midwinter Carols #2, Joy to the world is my favorite Song of the week:Let Every Heart Prepare Him Room—prepare for those you love that they might feel His love. Also, the hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight. (Oh Little Town of Bethlehem)

Meal: Creamy Chicken and Mushroom Noodles

Quote of the week: “Understanding that influence is best cultivated through love and friendship, I sought to deepen my sympathy for what was going on in their hearts, to understand their personalities, to affirm their intrinsic worth to me, to God and to others, and to encourage them on a daily basis.” Sally Clarkson

FOR MORE

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app.

Leave an iTunes Review These are so important as they help our podcast reach more women with messages of encouragement.

Follow on Facebook and Instagram for the latest news and updates.

Share with others. My prayer is that this podcast brings encouragement to women and families, and I would be honored for you to tell others about it.

Join my friends and me in membership at Life with Sally, a place for me to share more teaching from the Bible and messages on education, motherhood, discipleship, and more!

Hope in Christ, The Foundation of Our Faith

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Tonight, (Sunday night) I experienced one of the most wonderful advent services. Merton College, one of the schools that is part of the Oxford system, held an advent service last night that touched me to my core. Sitting in the darkness with no lights, we strained our ears to the choir reminding us of Christ coming as light to the darkness. Holding our own candles, eventually we lit them, one person to another, and the room was filled with glory and beauty. Eventually after scripture readings, songs, hymns. we were ushered into the foyer slowly to stand shoulder to shoulder, a gathering of hundreds of people where our candles were burning bright, the organ was boldly filling the room with rich notes, but even more splendid and surprising, the bell ringers, over a hundred feet above us, were pulling the ropes and ringing in the hope that Christ brings.

(Look at the very top of my snapshot—you will see the dark figures of 3-one in the middle, one on either side, ringing in the hope of Christ as we begin to celebrate Advent. Oddly, I was thinking about how hidden the bell ringers are—but how important their job—ringing out hope through their faithful labor—kind of like us!)

I was talking to a couple of my children in the past couple of weeks. All of us agree that we have felt discouraged in our faith, weary in our hearts. We all want to keep our faith alive, we all desire to serve Christ, but honestly, with no church, no regular connection with people and events, with all of the negative news and political conflict between families and friends, the storm of life has left many of us depleted. Have you felt that way—emotionally distant in faith, but thoroughly committed in character. Talking about it together is so important. Being friends and helping one another has been so important for us.

Yet, feeling discouraged is a part of the experience of so many people throughout history, especially the history of Israel. Advent is a break of light into darkness, hope into discouragement. Mary found favor with God because she was cherishing hope in the midst of a dark time. Now is the time for us to kindle our hope, encourage one another and to stay fast as we live faithfully—be it done according to your will—and tell a story that in eternity will ring true of the behind the ways He was always at work in our lives and in the world.

I hope you will be encouraged by my podcast today.

A Little Thought of Home ... A Place of Grace

"Home is the place where the whispers of God's love are heard regularly, the touch of His hands are given intentionally throughout the day, the words of His encouragement and affirmation pointed to lay the foundations of loving relationships."-The Mission of Motherhood

Home is indeed a place of grace—where we can be ourselves, cuddle up to familiarity, count on food we are used to, love that is always and forever unconditional. I hope you enjoyed a lovely Thanksgiving! I’m sure it’s been such a busy time, and so today, I simply want to leave you a little thought for your weekend on the importance of home. It is such an honor that God has trusted each of us mothers to be cultivators of beauty and life-givers within the walls where our loved ones reside. Perhaps you've lived in your house forever, watching all of your children grow up. Or maybe you've just moved to a new place, and are feeling exhausted in the midst of so much transition.

Whether you've spent years in your home or are just starting over, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by work when we think about home. This weekend, I challenge you to be inspired by all of the amazing, beautiful, lively moments that can and will happen in your home.

Home is the place where chairs are rocked...

where relationships are nurtured and prioritized ... where souls are refreshed ... where hands are held ...

Home is the place where you are able to bring hearts together though meals, prayers, memories, laughter, and conversation.

What will you do with your home this weekend?

We Ask Before We Act: Our 24 Family Ways #22

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Our 24 Family Ways #22

We ask before we act when we do not know what is right to do.

Memory Verse:

He who walks with the wise is wise. A companion of fools suffers harm. 

Proverbs 15:20

"By walking in integrity at home, my children received from my life, training for battles that were ahead of them. By walking through the obstacles and curves of our lives, trusting God, living by faith, choosing to endure, our children became familiar with what it looked like to walk with God in the midst of their own challenges." -Sally Clarkson, The Mom Walk

When your children walk with you, are they walking with a wise person?  Can they look at your seasoned responses, your insightful understanding of people, your fortitude in difficult times as they walk the moments of your daily life? Children watch us, listen to us when we are talking to others, hear us behind closed doors as we talk to our husband, see us in public. Our lives are the walk that our children will imitate.

When your children are not sure which way to do, how to respond, or what is right or wrong, do they come to you for guidance? Do they know that you are the one to ask for wisdom in difficult moments?

We are in a generation and culture that has turned our children's training grounds into a battlefield. With relative morality, confusing voices, compromise of ideals, secular media values, and opposing opinions, where will our children find clarity and strong, secure values to embrace?

As mothers, we must be ready and equipped with steady feet and strong souls to lead the way for our kids with integrity. We will give them confidence as we walk, staying close to them, holding their hand, and showing them sure footsteps to follow.

 

"O Lord, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks the truth in his heart." -Psalm 15:1-2

No matter how old your children become, you are the example for them. They will always be looking at you to see integrity, ideals, and how you interact with God. And the longer you provide your children with wisdom based on truth, the more they will quickly consider your advice as they walk their own adult journey. Still, on a daily basis, I am walking with my adult children. They learned to trust their "path guide" on the trail of life we walked together, day by day.

We must lead the way and set a solid foundation for the paths our children will follow. Teaching our children to walk truly never ends.

Are you walking in wisdom today? Is your life one you want your children to follow? Is your pathway in your life with God getting brighter and brighter? May God lead us on His path with integrity in each step.

What are some of the ways you make each day a focused moment of a loving relationship as you walk the days with your children?

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, That shines brighter and brighter until the full day

Proverbs 4: 18

A Time to Catch a Breath: Seek a Peaceful Life

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Tea Time Tuesday

Isn’t this teapot a hoot? Some busy woman thought, “If I could have 2 spouts, I could pour tea faster and get my work done more quickly!”

This week I was thinking how important it is to make time to catch your breath: seek a peaceful life.

As I am writing this post and thinking of all of you, I wish you could be here next to me and see the new pink roses I just bought for myself at the store. Or taste the delicious vegetable soup (veggies, sweet basil, garlic, onion, salt and pepper, chopped tomatoes, tomato sauce, simmering that warmed us to our toes. Sweet conversation around our table—every night forever and always and listening and paying attention to each one seated with me—that is what I wish I could do with you.

Tea time by its very nature calls us to take a deep breath, sigh, get all the “hurries” out, and breathe. To really enjoy tea (or coffee or chai or hot chocolate) one must consciously take time to sip, to taste, to make it last. a slurped-down cup of tea is a waste.

Many of you have the Thanksgiving feast to participate in or to cook yourself—but to go into it with peace, you have to have made the way, you have to have taken time. The messes will still be there—maybe your elves can help you flurry a quick clean-up. The “should be done” will also still be there. But now, you are precious and I wish I could spoil you a bit and take care of you—but it is ok to rest or watch a sweet movie, put your feet up—this life we are called to is a marathon. Listen to what Leo Tolstoy said.

“A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor — such is my idea of happiness.”
― Leo Tolstoy, Family Happiness

Listen to what Paul said. This advice is just as important as any other he gave—accomplishing some great feat is no more important than living a quiet life if it is done in relationship with Jesus—who lived small, quiet, personal.

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. 12 Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others.

I Thess: 4:11-12

One thing I have noticed is that my life has never slowed down, people have never quit needing something from me, deadlines have never ceased, and everyone keeps eating and wearing clothes that will need to be washed…again.

But, I have thought about this a lot over the years and especially this week. And I have set some boundaries, had to cancel some things, just so I can live a little bit more of my values this week.

Imagine that Tolstoy, so very famous and popular and from a very different time as ours, still focuses on what is good and true. A secluded life—one that is not too crammed with too many people—hidden away from opinions, pressures, the lure of being engaged in activities that steal from your energy and life. To be in nature and feel the beauty and calm. To have time to take a nap, to actually read a book straight through and ponder it, to listen to or play music—to have time and focus to really love one’s neighbor—and not make excuses for why you have to hurry away. This is what he considers a happy life. I am inclined to agree.

My own life speaks to me every day, all day long of the should, the things I could do and need to work on, the demands that are just outside my door that I might be able to fulfill. But, I resist. Say no, and am choosing to do things that are releasing, deeply refreshing to me as a way of life. I don’t want to miss what is important—and being in the moment is important.

I will be jostling in a small car with pies, peas, potatoes, cranberry sauce, and stuffing for two hours to Sarah’s house where I will get to kiss, hug, and play with my grandchildren on Thanksgiving day. I plan on eating too much—spending as much time as I can kissing and playing—and it will be the most important thing I do this week.

Praying you will have some quiet cups of tea, amidst your week and remember that you are quite precious and loved just as you are.

Guilt Destroys; Grace Heals & Podcast with Misty

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?”

Romans 2:4

Daily, I look for ways to develop peace and quiet in my heart amidst the constant demands of life and the ever present people who live with me. The canal near my home is a favorite place I walk to restore this peace of heart from which I respond to others. Isn’t it beautiful? The older I am the more I see my inadequacies, selfishness and propensity to behave in an immature way. It has led me to have more mercy, compassion, and patience with others, especially my children—that which I so need and desire.

I love this verse—It shows the real nature of our Godl—he shows riches of kindness, tolerance and patience—and it is His kindness that leads us to repent.”

Understanding this will change your heart and from there, change your behavior to others. When you know how much you long for someone to be patient with you, and how soothing and heart opening it is for others to be kind, patient with you—it will change your attitude and behavior towards your children.

A young mom sat across the table from me, steaming coffee in hand, head bowed. “I just don’t know what to do,” she said. “My child just won’t obey. Her toys are always spread all over the house, even though I tell her to clean them up. She won’t go to bed when I tell her to. And every time she refuses to obey, I get more and more angry. There was a lot of yelling in my house when I was little, and I hated it. But now …” she shook her head, a tear slipping down her cheek. “I’m doing the exact same thing I hated so much. Yelling! And I can’t figure out how to stop. I’m an awful mom! And the guilt is just overwhelming. Maybe I shouldn’t have ever had children.”

I shook my head and reached my hand across the table to cover hers. “No. That’s just not true,” I reassured her. “I know what it’s like to lose your temper. All mothers get frustrated and lose their patience from time to time. No one likes out of control anger or yelling—parents or children. But being frustrated at your child is normal. It doesn’t mean you are a failure—you know from your experience that it is wrong to yell our of anger!”

But, the more you can mother from rest, peace, a grid that has experienced God’s grace and unconditional love, the less you will feel defeated, the more your child will learn how to respond to you.

I wish someone had told me when I was younger how often I’d fail, be tempted to feel guilty, have a feeling that it was all up to me—and how useless that feeling would be to me, long-term! Today, Misty Krasawski and I are talking about how finding grace in our lives and extending that grace to our children brings healing to our hearts —and theirs! Do our children know from experience that it is our kindness, tolerance and patience that will lead them to repentance? I hope you’ll enjoy our conversation.

Heartfelt Discipline: Following God's Path of Life to the Heart of Your Child By Clarkson, Clay Buy on Amazon You Are Loved: Embracing the Everlasting Love God Has for You By Sally Clarkson, Angela Perritt Buy on Amazon

Thoughts On Considering the Five Senses as Thanksgiving Week Approaches!

As I prepared to leave Colorado, one surprising day, there was a gentle snow and our neighborhood deer pausing in our yard to eat up all the plants! And to give me sheer pleasure at the scene. The thrill of changing seasons, holidays upon us filled my heart with anticipation. I actually love Thanksgiving! A gathering of our family and friends, eating, celebrating life, and taking time to notice the amazing grace and gifts God has bestowed upon all of us.

This Thanksgiving, you are investing eternal memories into the soul of your children that will feed them the rest of their lives. Thanksgiving is a marvelous, magical time that is filled with fond memories and cherished traditions. Over and over, my children tell me it was the feasts, traditions, rhythms that speak to them of our close ties and community that we all share now! This is a holiday in which all of our senses are involved in the memory-making process on this one very special holiday that we so look forward to every year.

Physical:

"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service."

-1 Timothy 1:12

In our home, the bustling of family members getting involved in the hospitality process makes Thanksgiving so much fun.  This year we will be spread apart from one another, but hopefully soon, we will gather together as a family and celebrate together.

Remind your children what a great delight to you to have such a great team and what an honor it is to be a part of such a great working team. Tell them the work of beauty of a feast and the life of the day would not be complete and full without their help and personal touches. What a gift to be a part of a family sharing togetherness.   On Thanksgiving, through using our hands to make pies, set tables, decorate, or hold hands during prayer, the things we touch and cultivate as a family turn into life-long memories.

Sight:

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

-1 Thessalonians 5:18

I know that for many of you sweet mamas, burdens and hard work come along with the turkey, pies, and memories. Remember that your hard work is so worth it because you are creating visions for your children to behold that will shape who they are forever. Take a deep breath, relax, and allow yourself to look around and take it all in, seeing with your own eyes the value and worth of your labors. The beautiful table, the delicious meals, and most importantly, the smiles on the faces of your family should be your visual reminder that it is all worthwhile.

Taste:

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." -1 Corinthians 10:31

It is a beautiful gift that God allows us to taste. Not only is our food nourishment, but it is a way for us to bond over something so wonderful that fills us with joy. I know my family is very thankful for flavors of many kinds that bring so much variety to our taste buds and warmth to our souls. The meals you make this Thanksgiving will not be ordinary-they will be creating the palate of memories that enchant your children's taste buds for a very long time. (Just like the verse in Corinthians says-we shall be thankful and do all things to the glory of God. This includes our feasting!)

Smell:

"And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." -Ephesians 5:2

Is it just me, or does it seem that people tend to gravitate and crowd around the kitchen once the enticing aromas begin spilling from the oven? Scientists say that scent is the strongest link to memory, so do not underestimate the importance of the candles you light and treats you bake.

Hearing:

Our hunt for a Christmas tree and the decorating of it always happens on this weekend and so we begin with a mug of something hot and then adventure out into the wilds of Christmas tree land.

"So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ." -Romans 10:17

Your Thanksgiving day will be filled with many sounds, some joyful noises, and some possibly not so pleasant. Be intentional about the sounds of your home's Thanksgiving day. Select calming music, encourage singing, allow plenty of conversation, and be wise about what words are said, as they will remain in the hearts of our loved ones.

There is so very much to be thankful for as we prepare to embark on another Thanksgiving holiday. I hope that you have a blessed Thanksgiving day with your family and that all of your senses are delighted.

We Do What We Know Is Right: Our 24 Family Ways #21

Click here to play today’s new podcast episode.

Way # 21 We do what we know is right, regardless of what others do or say.

Memory Verse: 

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,Nor stand in the path of sinners,Nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord,And in His law he meditates day and night.

Psalm 1:1-2

Sometimes it is a bit humbling to have older kids. The ways they tease or roll their eyes at you can sometimes feel a little personal. Yet, as I look at all of my sweet ones, I know they are grateful for having been given foundations of ways to think, to live, and to develop their own sense of integrity. It was important to us to give them a sense of their own potential influence, self-government, and personal virtue in a very dark world. Godly influence is not won by force or authoritarianism; that sort of influence is usually lost. But it is won long-term in the way Christ won it in the lives of His disciples—by giving His life to them.

Sometimes we don't think our children are listening to our repeated in instruction. Yet, I believe training up a child “in the way he should go" is a good description of shaping brain pathways of truth and morality in the minds and even the souls of our children as they grow and mature.

One of the mantras my children heard over and over again was, "Wrong is always wrong, even if everyone is doing it. Right is always right, even if no one is doing it."

Understanding that the world is a place of compromise, yet we were called to be holy, set apart--light in the darkness, salt in a tasteless world—prepared my children to go into very challenging arenas, armed with an understanding of what the battle would become and how they would be tested.

The Ten Commandments are a great place to start--no adultery, no idols, set yourselves apart to remember God and honor Him, as well as honoring parents. Our family believes we have great freedom, yet we also have strong standards of holiness and morality because we focus on seeking to please the heart of God. The only way you can create freedom to live righteously and give wisdom in knowing how to behave in life is to teach about Jesus and His instruction every day. Only when we have pondered His words can we understand His heart towards life.

Psalm 1 is a passage I used over and over again to train my children to walk not in the counsel of their friends or the world, but to delight in the rightness of God's words in order to have a sensitive conscience to what He wanted them to do. We acted out and memorized this Psalm through verse four, and it became a picture of what a righteous person looked like in a culture that was cynical, criticizing, and compromising: the blessed man walks in the counsel of the Lord.

My children had to say "no" to certain age-inappropriate movies when we were not around. They had to learn to be the ones who would not participate in certain activities in various groups. They learned, by practicing, not to engage in looking at immoral images on the computer. We talked about it all—media, peer pressure, and various types of foolishness. We read Proverbs together many times to find wise ways of living.

Learning to be righteous is a heart issue, not a rules-memorized issue. We cannot force righteousness on our children by legalism and harshness. This only makes them want to hide from us. But instead, we nurture and cultivate a love for goodness by cultivating it in our home each day.

How have you taught your children the concept of being holy--set aside for God's purposes and glory?