Sally Clarkson's Blog, page 56

Tea Time Tuesday: Today, I offer you a Red Rose

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Today, I offer you roses. Years ago, Nathan surprised me. (Story below.) Enjoy his precious little heart that gave me a love for red roses. He and I remember this fun time and then I follow up with lots of fun tea-time talk. Enjoy.

Christmas Eve found me huffing and puffing over a kitchen cabinet overflowing with dough. Cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning, herb and onion bread for the Shepherd's meal that very evening, and I was into my own vortex of checking off a mental list of all that had to be finished. Stockings, wrap presents, call my family, make the potato soup and fill the cookie trays......on and on the list grew.

Charming 12 year old, golden blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, marched into the kitchen with a purpose to his step.

"Mama, I know you are busy, but there is something real important I need to talk to you about. I need you to come right now!"

A little tightness wrapped itself around my attitude.

My thoughts were, "Hello! Can't you see that I am up to my elbows in dough? Do you really know how much I am doing to make all of you happy? I am doing this for you. Can't you just see what I am up to and wait for just a little bit?"

My words, "Honey, I am a little busy right now. Can you just wait for a few minutes? Why don't you talk to me right here--I am happy to listen to you."

"Mom, we need to have privacy. It won't take long. If you could just come with me for a few minutes, I really need to talk to you."

Something in my heart said, "You need to take time. He is not usually this insistent in the middle of the day. Give him your focussed attention for just a few minutes."

And so I reluctantly wiped my hands clean, put the dough down and said, "Ok, Nate, let's go to my bedroom. No one is there."

He seemed to be holding something behind his back and wanted me to go in front of him.

I walked ahead of him into my bedroom, sat on our little love seat next to our bed and said, trying to smile amidst the tension I was feeling, "Now, Nathan, what did you want to talk about?"

Then, with a smile from cheek to cheek, he gingerly pulled out one long stem red rose from behind his back and presented it to me.

"Mama, I love you more than Christmas."

"I was thinking about all that you do to make us happy and I wanted to give you a present before I get all of my presents tomorrow. I wanted to let you know I love you and really appreciate you ahead of time. So here is my present, mama. I made Dad take me to the store and I got a red rose for you.  Do you like it?"

Of course, you could have pushed me over with a feather.

There is lots more today on Tea Time Tuesday—music, food, life, Christmas plans, inspiration. Let me know if you enjoy my ramblings. Hoping you have a wonderful week! Enjoy.

The rest of the story is on my podcast.

Shepherd's Meal: Written on our Hearts

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Some traditions hold you, put a stamp of remembrance on your heart, tie family and friends together. All of my children, when asked what their favorite tradition is for us Clarksons say, “Shepherd’s meal on Christmas Eve.” We have celebrated it together for 35 years without a break.

When Clay and I were early married, I told him that I thought instead of making Christmas Eve one more complicated, over the top, heavy work on “mama” meal, we should come up with something simple, easy, just like the first Christmas. I also thought that instead of focusing all of our time, energy, and excitement on “presents” and stockings, that on Christmas Eve, we could really ponder the heart of Christ through his first coming to the shepherd’s with a heavenly chorus, finding a humble mama nursing, tenderly cuddling her baby and remembering that Jesus came for all people—the high, the lowly, educated, pious and ungodly alike. We pondered and both agreed that the glory of Christ appearing to common men and women, shepherding their flocks was something we wanted to copy—the glory of angels singing amidst the ordinary work of shepherds watching over their flocks. And so, Shepherd’s meal became a sacred, mug-loved tradition for all of us.

All lights are extinguished, candles lit everywhere, simple soup, a fruit plate with nuts and cheese, homemade, hand-formed herb bread, and that was it. You would think it was a feast for how much we all love this meal. Now here is the story of the first one we celebrated when Sarah was 2 and Joel was just a month old.

Christmas found five of us—Clay and I, toddler Sarah and newborn Joel, and a young friend who was having an adventure on a break from college and living with us for six months—squished together in a tiny (nine-hundred-square-foot) gray stucco bungalow. The foundation had settled, leaving the basement steps slanted and uneven, with a bit of effect on the rest of the house. Most of the rooms were about as big as a large walk-in closet. Rain would pour down our walls—inside!—when it rained. Pigeons often found their way into the attic and then got stuck there. But the energy of young love, youthful ideals, toddler glee, and discoveries every day with a newborn son sang happiness and vibrancy into our lives.

Joel had a funny way of crying when he was hungry—a kind of a growl. That gave us pause; we had never heard of a baby who growled instead of crying. But we thought he was adorable, and Sarah was absolutely smitten. She toddled around telling everyone who would listen that “Dod dave us a baby boy—just like Jesus was when He came to Mary on Christmas!” Having heard the nativity story in the dark of our chapel one evening, she was sure that Joel was our own Jesus, and she would watch by the window each evening for the angels to appear to sing him a song.

Maybe it was her childlike love of the story that inspired me to host our first Shepherds’ Meal that Christmas Eve. To be honest, I can’t remember. But I’ll never forget the evening itself.

We thought our little orphan home had never looked more beautiful. Flames on crimson candles shivered and waved each time visitors rang our bell to signal their arrival and pushed open the front door. Our tiny antique table was laden with winter bounty—red apples, golden pears, and large polished hazelnuts—that gleamed in the candlelight. Seven of us in mismatched wooden chairs crowded around a table built for four, content to share in the friendly companionship of a festive evening. No one wanted to be alone on this frigid Christmas Eve.

We were something of a motley crowd, but so happy to be together—a young Austrian woman whose spouse had just abandoned her for another man, a Taiwanese secretary who worked at the United Nations headquarters, a refugee from the Middle East, and a young missionary from England, lonely on his very first time away from his family. Sarah sat chattering in my lap and talking about the angels. The friend who was living with us helped me serve the simple meal, and we all sang “Silent Night” as a prayer because it was the only carol everyone knew.

Four different languages were our mother tongues. As to religious conviction, we had one Catholic, one Evangelisch (Lutheran Reformed), an Asian Baptist, a British Anglican, and one agnostic who looked on and listened with curiosity. But hearts were opened by the simple beauty of bread, cheese, and warm herbed soup as we spoke of the shepherds who had found and worshiped Jesus on that first Christmas so long ago. And my own heart was warmed by the gathering of friends from such different cultures who shared our table and celebrated the love that whispered His reality through the moments of the evening.

I remember thinking that this was what heaven would be like—all unified, all tied together by the sharing of friendship and food as we celebrated Jesus’ first coming, each worshiping from our own traditions, but grateful for the divine Love that had kissed our evening with His presence.

There was something so special about that first Shepherds’ Meal that we couldn’t wait to “do it again next year.” And so we have. In the thirty-plus years since then, our family has enjoyed a Shepherds’ Meal every Christmas Eve, no matter where we lived. Even the preparation has become a tradition—a family affair. I pray you will all have a blessed Christmas wherever you are and that you will deeply sense God’s love and presence with you.

You can read more about it in The Lifegiving Table.

The Lifegiving Table: Nurturing Faith through Feasting, One Meal at a Time By Clarkson, Sally

Training in Serving Others Begins When They're Little

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” –Mark 10:45

 “Make it a rule, and pray to God to help you to keep it, never, if possible, to lie down at night without being able to say: "I have made one human being at least a little wiser, or a little happier, or at least a little better this day." -Charles Kingsley

 I was in quite a hurry on the rainy day we pulled up to a stoplight in Nashville and saw a weather-beaten man on the curb holding up a dripping sign. I had both of my boys with me, they were seven and five, and we were late to their weekly music lessons. Windshield wipers thumping, streetlights gleaming through the rain, I glanced at the bedraggled figure standing outside our car, but I couldn’t stop today. There simply wasn’t time.

“Mama,” Nathan’s voice piped up from the backseat, “look at that man in the rain. Look, he has a sign. He must be cold.”

“’Homeless: anything helps, God bless’.” Joel read the words off the damp sign. “Look Mom, he only has one leg.”

For a moment, Joel contemplated this with a solemn, sad little face, and then he turned to me, eyes big and urgent.

“Mom, we should help him. We should buy him a hamburger!” I glanced at my watch and scouted the busy street for fast food restaurants. There were none in sight. But Joel, seeing the hesitation in my face, leaned forward from the back, straining against his seatbelt, “Come on, Mom!” he urged. “He really needs our help, and you said we should always help the people God puts in our way.”

And so, I did. Clay and I were always telling our kids to keep their eyes open for the people God might put in their lives who needed help or kindness. We wanted our kids to see themselves as servants, to have an identity as givers. I couldn’t contradict Joel’s impulse to give. I decided the music lessons would simply have to wait, and rolled down the window.

“Hello, sir,” I said as the man moved stiffly toward us, “My boys want to buy you some lunch.”

“Ask him if he wants hamburger or chicken!” called Joel, while Nathan added his own high-pitched command to be sure of his favorite drink. The man told me what he liked, and we took off as the light turned green. By the time we found a McDonald’s, ordered the perfect meal (with many directions from my boys – “Supersize it, Mom—he looks really hungry!”) and made it back around to the stoplight, the rain had slowed a little, and the man shuffled over to meet us.

As I handed him the bag of hot food and the “supersized” Coke, the boys piped up from the back with “We got you a hamburger like you said, and lots of french fries!” The man took the food, then put his hands on the window and leaned into the car.

“Boys,” he said looking back at each of them, “thank you so much. You’re the first people who stopped all day. What are your names?” The boys told him, and he nodded. “Well, thank you, Joel; thank you, Nathan. God bless you.”

“What’s your name?” piped up Nathan from the back as the man turned to go.

“Michael,” he said simply, and with a nod to me, walked away.

That night, as I put Nathan to bed and prepared to pray for him, he looked up at me with a very serious face. “Let’s pray for Michael, Mama,” he said, and that began a month in which the boys prayed fervently for Michael, “their homeless man,” every night. As I watched their little hearts ache for the loneliness and hurt of another person, I thanked God that I had taken the time to stop, to live out the message I was trying so hard to teach them every day in our home: how to have the heart of a giver, the heart of a servant.

From the time our kids were old enough to listen, Clay and I told them over and over, “I wonder how God will use you in the world. I wonder whose heart you will heal or what truth you will bring.” We wanted our children to think of themselves, even when they were little, as someone who had a responsibility to give, love, and to serve the people around them.

We live in difficult times and there is debate over the best ways to help in all sorts of settings. The most important thing, though, is that each of us pray and ask God how He would bless the people around us, through us, in our everyday lives. How might He direct you, today?

Weathering the Storms of Difficult People: Help I'm Drowning

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Walking outside, breathing in beauty gives me great peace. it also provides me time to gain perspective. Today, as I was on a walk, Joel and I were talking about how many people leave their faith or doubt their walk with God because they have met other believers who have hurt them or been legalistic or disappointed them. Today, I read an excerpt out of my book Help, I’m Drowning. There is much more on the podcast, but if you have struggled, you are not alone. I wrote Help, I’m Drowning because I wanted others to feel companionship in their own storms of life. Maybe a friend would be encouraged by this book this season. But in any case, I hope my podcast will encourage you. From Help, I’m Drowning.

Many years ago, just when I needed a support system, the mother of one of my best friends played a sort of grandmother role to my children once in a while. She lived two hours from our home, but she invited me to come for a weekend so she could “spoil” my children. Southern fried chicken and “Larla’s brownies” were always on the weekend menu.

What a grace it was to me during a lonely, discouraging season of my life. My father was dying, Clay and I were only making $600 a month, and we were praying fervently about decisions we needed to make for our future that were scary and entailed a lot of risk. The stakes were high, I was mothering three young children, and there were just so many difficult details in our lives at the time.

I called Clay as I was getting ready to come home from the trip to tell him how much fun we had, and how refreshing the time had been for all of us. Clay didn’t seem to hear me, as he responded, “Sally, did you have some kind of argument with XXXXX before you left? She called me and said she hated you and did not ever want to talk to you again, and she is going to be talking to leadership about why they should not allow you to teach the Bible study anymore.”

Stunned doesn’t even begin to define the depths of my surprise. This was a friend with whom I regularly met for coffee. I had just thrown a party to celebrate her birthday. I could not have been more surprised. I even asked Clay if he was confused and was mistaking her for someone else.

A catastrophic season followed. I was heartbroken, deeply hurt to my core. Her gossip, hatred, and jealousy of the response to my growing Bible study caused her to spread rumors and dissension to others. It was a horrible, terrible, nightmare-style time in my life.

Fellow Christian’s Blows Hurt the Most

One of my biggest challenges in this very fraught and emotional storm was that as a youngish, naive believer, I didn’t know some of the worst hurts in my life would come from other women who called themselves Christians. If someone knew and loved God, wouldn’t they be constrained to move in the direction of love, peacemaking, and unity?

I hate to say it, but this storm was only one of several we experienced in our years of ministry. More on AtHomeWithSally podcast.

Tea Time Tuesday: Discipleship is a Heart Issue

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Our defense against hard times is honest and heart-felt fellowship with a friend accompanied by steaming cups of tea and something wonderful to eat. -Sally Clarkson (tea time quotes)

Knowing Nathan and Keelia would be coming home for Christmas in Colorado and that we would not be there, I wanted to prepare for their coming to make it warm and cozy. I set 2 tables with Christmas plates, hung stockings and sprinkled Christmas cheer around the house. Each year for 30 years, I have hosted a Christmas Tea to gather friends, new and old and to cheer them over delicious food and fellowship. it has been a rhythm that has helped keep us faithful through the years. (You can read more about it in The Lifegiving Table)

Jesus was all about relationship and friendship as He modeled to His disciples what true ministry was—reaching the heart through relationships, love and serving—I talked about this on my podcast today.

Fritatta: Listen on the podcast—A Quick Dinner with Eggs, Veggies, crisp cheese and fresh bread (I bought mine today!)—a favorite in our house

Music: Michael W. Smith, Christmas Time & Michael W. Smith & Amy Grant Play List on Spotify

Books: James Harriott Treasury for Children

Movies: James Harriott Season 2 Television Series (PBS or Channel 5) or the Christmas Special

Call the Midwife: Christmas Special 2015

Foundational verses for leading me in my life of serving God:

Seek first the kingdom of God. (Matt 6: 33)

Go into the World and make Disciples (Matt. 28:18)

He looked out on the multitudes and had compassion on them. Pray to the Lord of the harvest to send laborers into the harvest. (Matt. 9: 37-38)

Love the Lord your God, and love your neighbor as yourself. (Matt. 22:37-38)

Jesus, kneeling down in the dusty floor, mingling his hands with toes, dirt and smell, lovingly touching and firmly wiping the feet of His beloved friends, amidst stench, noise and eating, laughing, living. Reaching their hearts, souls and minds with the depth of the call of the kingdom was an embracing of the reality of daily life amongst full-blooded, crusty, men, hungry to fulfill a life's purpose that captivated their deepest longings to see that their lives mattered..

Jesus didn't just talk about having a ministry from a broad, tall pulpit with a resounding microphone, while disappearing between sermons. He lived a deeply personal life with words and instruction as well as integrity and generous love demonstrated in each moment of every day and he served and bowed his knee to meet the needs and desires of those He loved.  He taught compassion, and then he demonstrated it by healing the sick, touching those with leprocy, drinking water with the prostitute, holding and caressing children, feeding those who were hungry.

Each of us longs to be a part of a great cause, an epoch story and each of us longs to belong in the hearts of someone in the world who cares for us. We can exist within the mundane moments of motherhood or marriage or work longer if we know and understand that somehow it is meaningful to our over-arching life story and heritage, a history that we are passing on, when we daily stoop to serve, and patiently give of our energy to meet the needs of others.

But we long to know our lives can make a real difference, that our being alive and making right choices isn't just about duty, but about a heart-gripping reality that will make a purposeful impact in the lives of others- and to know that someone cares about our life sacrifices and investment of our time.

We need to recognize these same needs in the heart of our children. "Our children's hearts long ot be a part of a great cause. Training our children for ministry needs to be at the center of everything we are attempting to do with our lives. Serving God and loving Him is not about knowing all of the right rules and keeping them; it is about cultivating compassion in the hearts of our children for a lost world and showing them how they can be a part of His great plans for them to reach their world in their lifetime." The Mom Walk

Jesus called his disciples away from tasks to make an imprint on history, "Follow me and I will make you fishers of men!" "Go into the world and make disciples." "These uneducated men have turned the world upside down."

Paul and Peter were willing and joyfully sacrificed their lives because they knew, they deeply understood, they were a part of the movement of the Spirit of God to redeem the world for their creator, they were kingdom laborers. The passion in their heart gave them the power to serve. Service without heart kills the soul.

And so, when we seek to disciple our children, it is cultivating in them a vision for their importance to Christ's work, a hope that they are needed to fulfill a kingdom cause--with their unique personality and skills, and then giving them practice in serving others as they grow up in our homes, which are the center of ministry. It is about them watching us serve and being caught up in the beauty of our loving, giving to, serving and inspiring others from the integrity and compassion of our own hearts and lives, that their hearts will be captured.

Hearing about ministry, seeing ministry taking place and giving them a place to serve and be needed is the process of captivating their hearts with a passion that will last them their whole lives is the process of shaping them into life-long disciples of Jesus.  Discipleship is not about indoctrination, discipleship is heart work.

Several years ago, our ministry team wanted to extend this encouragement and inspiration to women all over the world. I've been encouraging moms in Christ for over forty years. I've mentored and discipled women personally, in small groups, in Bible studies, and through events and conferences.

In the past two decades, God has also allowed me to touch many more lives, both in the states and internationally, through my books, blogging, podcasts, and webinars.I still love connecting with so many women in all those ways, but Life with Sally is a unique online community. I hope that it can be become a breath of fresh spiritual air for you.As an older mother now of four grown children and three beloved grandchildren, I invest my time there to give back to moms like you the wisdom and truth I've learned in my long mom walk with God.

Our membership, Lifewithsally, helps to support our ministry, our staff, our projects and missions outreach. We are so appreciative of those of you who support Whole Heart Ministries financially or by being a member.

We could not grow without your generosity. But this year, we also want to give back. We know there are so many who have lost jobs, have had crisis in their lives and cannot afford to become members. If this is you or someone you know, we want to give a scholarship to you of one year of our membership as a sort of Christmas outreach. Fill out the form and let us know your needs and we will hope to gift you a membership to encourage you and bless you. Go here to fill out the form: https://forms.gle/eW2Wv2rEesvy8qve7
We pray that each of you has a wonderful week. Know that we consider it a privilege to serve you. Thanks for being a part of our ministry. Remember:

Quote of the Week: “Every meal should be a celebration of life itself as we break bread and enter fellowship together.” Sally Clarkson, The Lifegiving Table

The Lifegiving Table: Nurturing Faith through Feasting, One Meal at a Time By Clarkson, Sally Buy on Amazon James Herriot's Treasury for Children: Warm and Joyful Tales by the Author of All Creatures Great and Small By Herriot, James Buy on Amazon

God Loves You 10,000, Every Day, All Your Life

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As sound asleep as one can be, I was curled up in a bundle of blankets in dreamland. Suddenly, I felt a gentle push. “Queenie, you need to wake up. Come be with me!” And so pajama’d, groggy, I slipped downstairs, hand in hand with my precious little granddaughter and we had a cup of tea together as is our custom, sitting as close as we could in an overstuffed chair. What a deeply heart-filling weekend I had cherishing every moment we had together.

As an older woman, I know that the thing she needs the most—and that I still need, is that unshakeable, strong, steadfast love that will hold her through all the storms and seasons of her life. And so I tell her, over and over again in a million ways. I remember all too well my littles, become teens and then adults and how they longed to know they were lovable to someone in the world who would stick with them their whole lives.

“Mama, do you still love me when I make such stupid mistakes?” My sweet teenager, many years ago, was curled up on the couch in an almost fetal position, deeply regretting something she has done and condemning herself over and over again for not refraining from the foolish behavior.

“I love you if you had made 10,000 mistakes. I love you because you are mine. I love you even in spite of  the mistakes you will make the rest of your life. You are so precious to me, I can hardly refrain from kissing your sweet head a million times right now.”

A tiny smile curled her lips. I stroked her hair and told her that God’s love became more precious to me each day, because the older I got, the more I sinned, even when I wish I could be good.  And this truth made me love Him for His gracious love given freely every single day.

The truth is, all of us know that deep inside we are broken.

We want to be good, to practice patience, to be generous of heart, yet, our petty selves accuse us of countless ways we fail to live up to our own standards on a daily basis. And we know we fall short in a thousand ways of God’s ways for us. But now that I am 68, I have learned that His love for me is beyond measure, His forgiveness already extends to every day of my life. His mercy is never ending. This truth has changed my life. No matter what I do in a day, he still loves me, forgives me, wants to be in relationship with me.

Just this morning, I was awakened by a sunrise outside the bedroom window. Pink and coral shadows danced on the clouds and seemed to say, “This day is holy, a day to celebrate, because I am here. My love and mercy are the starting points of your day. Remember me and live in my joy.” We walked in the fields as the sun set. Sunrises and sunsets speak to me of God’s presence.

 And then I remembered one of my favorite verses that speaks to me every time I see a beautiful sunrise, and I told Samuel and Lilly that the sunrise and sunset were God’s whispers that He loved them and made the sky beautiful to remind them. And I have shared this verse so many times.

 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;[a]
    his mercies never come to an end;
 they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

The Steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning. Every single morning when we awaken, God’s mercy sees our frailty and provides for a covering of grace through every moment we fall short of perfection. Every day, we can live in the freedom to know we are forgiven.

This profound truth is so vitally important to being able to love God fully, and to live in the deep joy and freedom He wants us to experience every day.

The truths of His forgiveness written in God’s Word will transform your life every day. His life exchanged for your life means you will never have to feel separated from Him again, but every day, you can curl up in His abiding love, walk in His gracious mercy and breathe free from the burden of guilt.  Our heavenly Father waits to show you His goodness because it is at the very core of His heart. And that you will know His unconditional love.

It is my hope and prayer that everyone who studies these profound truths will understand and experience His complete forgiveness of every sin you will ever commit, every flaw, every imperfection and that you will live in the peace His spirit brings to carry us through every day until we see Him face to face.

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Unfortunately, Your Children Will Resist Training Sometimes!

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11

"Could you P L E A S E stop fussing!" I remember so many times when I thought I was making absolutely no progress at all in training my children. Constantly, I had to stand against my children's selfishness, self-centeredness, fusses, and arguments of, "He did it!" Then there was the, "How many times do I have to ask you to make your bed?” (Or clean your room, pick up after yourself, not talk in that voice!) and so on.

So many people who meet my children as adults and read our stories falsely get the impression that it was just easier for me! But, I tell you, I have earned every gray hair that is on my head--through stress and strain, lots of tears, and endless praying--begging  God for His intervention. So many sweet mamas think they have failed their children, are doing a bad job, or think other moms never make mistakes.

Yet we aren’t alone when our children resist us! You only have to look at the history of the Jews in the Bible to understand that all of God's children resisted Him. Even as He entered Jerusalem, He said,  "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing."

The history of Christianity, all the way from Genesis to Revelation, is God's children resisting him! And we are still doing it. So many times I wanted to have fun with the kids and bless them in some way, and they would choose to act in a childish way and my plan for a peaceful or fun moment would be spoiled because the situation would require discipline once again.

If your children are resisting you, then you must be working against their selfish and self-centered egos and moving them into a direction of maturity. That’s a good thing! There is no magic formula that will make them mature. It is training them day in day out, "no not this, but this is the way to behave," over and over and over again:  giving them chores to do and coming alongside and doing them. Teaching them manners and correcting and instructing them again and again. Helping them memorize scripture and using the Word to teach them about wrong attitudes versus good attitudes, training them to learn to love, helping them to become unselfish.

And of course, aiming training at the heart, their motivation, seeking to cooperate with their age, sex, personality, and issues. Learning to be a student of their inside attitudes is a mysterious process that requires lots of faith, wisdom, and experience. God's grace was always there, and He took my paltry offerings. I have compared myself many times to the little boy with the loaves and fish--He took what I offered and made it enough.

My children did not usually say, "Thanks so much, mama, for feeding me broccoli." Or, “Thanks for all the hard work you make me do." or, "I just love it when you correct my attitudes and make me write out verses or empty the dishwasher or stay in my room alone. to think about my actions!"

All discipline, as it says in Hebrews, for the moment seems not to be joyful but sorrowful, yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

"Afterwards" from this passage,  is when your muscle mass is sagging, your hair is turning grey and you have wrinkles around your eyes.

Hang on, mamas! All of your training will eventually matter so very greatly--but it may not, probably will not be affirmed at the moment in which it is given. It is a long pathway of life, never instant, and always through some dark passages.

Resisting training is normal, but the trained child will indeed become strong and healthy. God in his wisdom, designed mamas to be the life, heart, and soul-coaches, the ones who would hold up the bar of Biblical ideals, train and instruct towards those ideals and then draw out the God-giving potential that rests in each of our children and in us, to bring about the excellence of character and strength of spirit and grace in relationships.

Another side-blessing was that in taking responsibility for my children’s souls, and seeking what was excellent for them, I became stronger, more mature, and more excellent in the process, too--that God! He has His sneaky ways! And in the end, by submitting to His training by requiring me to train my sweet ones, I end up becoming stronger and more the person I always wanted to grow into, also, little by little.

So, today, take a deep breath, lean into the whole miraculous process and enjoy the way. Reach high, over and over again. Don't take yourself and your guilty moments too seriously, persevere and you will see the wisdom of God flourishing in and through your own home.

You are doing a great job--it just doesn't always feel like it!

We Always Tell the Truth: Our 24 Family Ways #24

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Way 24: We always tell the truth and do not practice deceitfulness of any kind. Memory Verse:

Who is the man who loves life and loves length of days that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Psalm 34: 12-13

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” ~C.S. Lewis

Can you believe we’ve reached the end of our study on the 24 Family Ways? I hope this series has been an encouragement to you!

Gathering my closest local friends for a time to study the word and discuss different issues has been one of the pleasures of my life for many years. Meeting weekly over tea and coffee and snacks and sharing, and then spending 2 hours in the Word, deeply studying what He has left for us to know and understand, has helped me grow and challenged my faith. I want to grow in truth, knowledge, and wisdom until I see Jesus face to face.

Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with your heart, (the center of our emotions, dreams, and all that we value), your mind, (thinking, developing convictions, understanding truth, walking in wisdom), and all your strength”-- (with all of our power, energy, strength, devotion.)

Our Bible study this week was from a number of passages about God's word, wisdom, the counsel of men, and Jesus as the Word and as the Word incarnate.

Christianity is not just a work to be done--

but it is the truth through which we may come to see all of life as it really is--

it is the grid through which we will view all of life's issues.

When we walk as women who have been stewards of our brains--women who think well and clearly, we will then be teachers and leaders of truth and conviction.

Even more, Jesus was and is a real, in-the-flesh person who embodied truth, life, love compassion, and righteousness. Coming to Him, recognizing Him as God in human flesh who was tempted, tired, hungry, and lonely, and watching and pondering through scripture how He lived and responded to life will help us grow closer to Him.

Yet, I have talked to countless women who all say the same thing: "I don't meet many women who know how to think Biblically or who really walk in their personal convictions of God's truth and wisdom being the foundation of their lives. I haven't been able to find a mentor whose life is worth following when I look around me. That is why I love this Bible study group--we push each other to think well and to live by our convictions developed in His light."

Some time ago, I had over 600 comments on a post from women saying they needed a mentor--someone to lead them in truth and wisdom. And yet, most cannot even find one person who is ahead of them and reaching out to them to teach them how to walk with Christ.

No matter what else you are doing, you cannot please God and become closer with Him and understand His ways--so that they will be a light to your path--if you are not studying His word, reading wise people’s words, and thinking true biblical thoughts.

So many women and men I see in this generation want to rely on someone else to tell them what to do--and the thing is, you can almost find any book or authority to give you permission to do whatever you want to do--

But what does God require of you?

How does God want you to live your life? What lies of men does He want you to avoid because you have learned how to think biblically because you are a seasoned student of His word?

Each of us must take responsibility for our minds, because that is an integral part of what Jesus said was the essence of the commandments--to love the Lord our God with all of our mind.

We cannot teach our children to tell the truth, to understand the nuance of God’s heart for truth, to be those who are honest about life if we are not growing in front of them and embodying to them what truth lived out looks like.

And this is one of the best gifts I could give to our children--not to trust in the words of men, not to follow the crowd--whichever crowd they are surrounded by, --but to fill their minds with truth, to wrestle mentally with what is true, to measure life by His wisdom and insight and as C.S. Lewis says, "by it, (the truth, wisdom, insight, commandments, stories) I see everything else in its light.

So, today, make a plan for your mind--choose a course of Bible study, and plan a time every day to do it.

Find books and authors who have truly walked with God and can lead you to think clearly, (C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton, and many others)

Ask at least one friend to meet with you and to study and discuss together God's word.

Learning to think clearly and Biblically, in order to be able to fight the formulas and ways of other men takes practice and investment of time---and it is the one way all children need to grow--to learn to think well, to learn to see the fallacies, false doctrine and rules that are man made and not in scripture--it requires thinking and being a steward of the word.

They need to see you doing it and be learning from you for them to learn how to be excellent in these skills, but oh how the world longs for purveyors of truth who know how to think.

Our 24 Family Ways (2010) By Clay Clarkson

Tea Time Tuesday: Why We Should Rejoice

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“If you are cold, tea will warm you;
if you are too heated, it will cool you;
If you are depressed, it will cheer you;
If you are excited, it will calm you.”  – 

William Ewart Gladstone, 3X Prime Minister of the UK

Welcome to Teatime Tuesday. Please grab a chair, a cuppa something that soothes and comforts and let’s have a chat. What fun I have had the past weeks really thinking about the magic of hospitality—not in big ways to hundreds, but in small, beautiful ways to those who sleep under the same roof as me, neighbors I see every day, friends I have known for a lifetime. All of these deserve my attention, my love, my giggles, my hearing ear and my grace. And of course, I do agree with Gladstone—tea is magical—whatever you need, warmth, cooling down, cheer, calm or peace—you can find it in a few moments where you take time to sit quietly and care for your soul.

So many things I wanted to share today! Lots of pondering this week.

*My Christmas party for women in my Bible study and how we shall celebrate life together tonight.

*Two Recipes that are easy for this season: Red Hot Apple Cider and toasted, salted Walnuts to please all

*Ideas for pursuing your people to have the right to mentor them—heart opening times

*3 Relationship princinciples to open hearts:

1. Be a Safe Person, trustworthy to toddlers to adults

2. Regularly give them a rhythm of personal time in order to build the relationship so it will become strong.

3. Study their personality, issues, eyes, needs, so that you can actually relate to them as God has made them—don’t judge their motives for their behavior—look behind their actions.

*In dulci jubilo The Real Story Behind Good Christian Men Rejoice: Angels invitation for us to Dance and leave our burdens in God’s hands. I’ll never sing it the same way again.

Quotation and Book: The Castle on the Hill by Elizabeth Goudge

That day when she had had tea with Mrs Heather and realized that it was in cottages like this one that the idea of home would be kept safe. The Castles would be destroyed, but the little homes hidden like Peter Rabbit’s among the tree trunks would tend the flame.

For all who want to hear In dulci jubilo now that you know the story, find Midwinter Carols, Volume 2 by Joel Clarkson wherever music is streamed. You will love the song even more once you know the story.

Have a lovely week, my sweet friends.

The Wisdom of Cultivating Joy This Christmastide

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When we call home, we always ask Nathan how our Darcy Dog is doing. Over years, she has brought me joy at no cost—just ready to play, love, and give all of us lots of joy. Today, I wanted to create a podcast and blog post that would bring a smile to the midst of your busy day—just like Darcy always did for me.

Sometimes, I think mamas need someone to read them a story that fills the heart and soothes the moments of the day. Today, I read a really fun portion from December in The Lifegiving Home and share some of my favorite joy passages with you. I hope it will encourage you. I don’t know about you, but daily, I look for ways to keep my soul alive by what I am reading and pondering.

Recently, I have been deeply studying the concept of joy in scripture. We all know that it is a fruit of the spirit. But think about this, it is also good medicine, Proverbs tells us. And there are so many more treasures I found in my study that I will share with you—some today in the podcast, and some in my membership: https://lifewithsally.com

The reason I titled this blog post, “Cultivating Joy” is that it doesn’t just come naturally. Cultivating was originally a farming term that indicated preparing the land, planting seeds, causing the earth to be productive through preparation and planting. And so it is with joy. Though it is actually an essential part of who God is—a part of His very being, we must plant our thoughts, seek to live in the strength of His spirit, spend time with Him and dedicate our lives to growing in His joy. Living in joy is cultivating a way of seeing all of life—looking for the light and beautiful places.

As many of you know, a number of years ago, over many years, my life had become so burdened with difficulties, demands, disappointment, and drudgery. (I had fun doing all the d’s! ) I realized that I was drained to the core and the result was darkness in my thoughts, and dread in my heart.

After some deep soul-searching times, I realized that I did not want to be a victim in life but an overcomer. And so I wrote a book called, Dancing with My Father, and started my first blog named “I Take Joy.” I realized that as a woman, I had agency—the ability to decide how I was going to respond to the circumstances of my life. And I realized that I wanted to stay faithful to the Lord every day, (as much as possible and some times of regrouping) and be found a person of faith when I saw Him in reality, face to face.

My life has not been easy—just like yours hasn’t been. There have been difficulties beyond what I ever imagined and sadness, the broken-hearted kind in deep disappointments. Yet, my commitment to keeping a grid of joy has carried me through and allowed me to get up, time after time, to live one more day worshipping Him right in the midst of my story.

What brings you joy through your days?

Happy Monday.

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