Ritu Chowdhary's Blog: Shades of Life - Posts Tagged "love"

In Facets of love, I have tried to explore the heart and the mind of different people to reflect their perception about love. The story revolves around Sara and Sidhant, who were bound together by an unrealized feeling of mystical love.

Have you also ever felt connected to a person even without knowing him or her? A feeling which causes restlessness sans attributable reasons. Or for that matter, have you ever identified something in you which was different from your family or the environment; and at times, you just wonder- why are you, the way you are?

In my new novel ‘Scars on my Soul’ I have tried to explore the unexplored dimensions of human relationships– a journey of the soul across births.

It makes one believe that intricacies of human relationships are not only influenced by our present life, but some scars on the soul can have a substantial impact on our current life.

Let me try to write it in scientific terms, which I think most of us with a logical mind would like to believe.

Do you know human feelings like excessive jealousy, hatred, etc. are all mental problems?

Yes, one thing we all would agree to is that they severely impact our relationships.

Medical science says (https://www.sane.org/mental-health-an...), most people with a mental illness do not have family members with the illness. For some mental disorders, there does not seem to be a link at all. For others, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, a predisposition to the illness may be inherited – but even then, it is only one of several factors. The causes are not fully understood. It is likely that such mental disorders involve a biochemical imbalance and can be triggered by such things as stressful life events, drug abuse, hormonal changes or physical illness.

But, when there’s no identifiable cause, can it be some unfathomed side of human existence- journey of soul across births?

Have you ever done something good for anyone? I assume everyone would have. What do you feel when you do something for either happiness or betterment of others? Happy! Great! Satisfied! Peaceful! Stressfree! Every other feeling would seem familiar, but stress-free might confuse you. Parents go to any extent to give best to their kids. They think they are doing it for the children. However, if they do not do what they think they can do to improve the lives of their kids, they will be unhappy, and thus stressed at the thought of their children not getting the best because of their limitations. Now, take a minute and think, in all of the above situations, whom have you done good for? The answer should be ‘yourself.’

In most of the cases when we do something for the others, there’s a lingering feeling in our mind that our act is for their welfare, but just now we realized that whatever we do, foremost we do it for our delight. Whether we do it in the name of Love, Duty or Compulsion, in every case, we benefit before anyone else.

If before doing anything for others, we accept in our minds that in reality we are doing it for our self, and no one else, we’ll get rid of the expectation of reciprocation. It could be the easiest way to get relieved of most of the problems in our relationships.

We didn’t sleep for several nights together as your sparkling little eyes wanted to explore the world at that time. Our eyes couldn’t stop the flow when you yelled, and we couldn’t find out the reason for it. The only thought occupying our mind was that we needed to do something for you to make you comfortable. We did things for you as you were too small, and couldn’t have done anything yourself.
Then came the time we realized we need to teach you how to do the things on your own as you were growing. Our love didn’t change for you, but it was the need of the hour to change the way we were doing the things for you. We wanted you to grow as an independent person.

We were ecstatic to see you grow into a determined and confident person. You were again exploring the world, but this time with fully developed mind and physical energy. Our love for you hasn’t changed. We still wanted to teach you our experiences, but you only wanted our support.

Finally, you entered into the family life. Our love for you was still the same; you were still our little world. We desired to support you, but now you only wanted us to pray for you as there was someone else to support you.
Your needs were changing, but our love for you hasn’t changed. Before you tell us, we should understand and accept your needs will change, this is life cycle; however, both of us should ensure that nowhere it means that our love for each other has changed.

Once there was an enthusiastic young boy, ambitious but not brilliant. He appeared for several engineering entrance exams and wasn’t so hopeful of clearing through any top rung of colleges. The pleasant surprise of his life was he got through the most prestigious one. Luck bestowed on him, and he was the talk of the circle because of Almighty being too generous on him.

He met a beautiful girl in the college, who was from a well-established business family. She fell in love with him. Our boy was average looking, and from a middle-class family. What a stroke of luck again! Such incongruous alliance, which some might refer to as foolishness, I prefer to call as made in heaven, simply because I want to respect the boon of luck by God.

Next, the boy was approved by girl’s father as boy claimed not to be interested in his money, but just his daughter. How lucky! They got married, and unfortunately, after a few years the girl’s father died of heart attack, and she became the sole owner of his business. Like any other dedicated wife she requested her husband to be the COO of her company so that she can take care of the family. Some people never ask for anything, and GOD gives them everything.

Now the life was going good, and our boy had a life which he could never have thought off.Then suddenly there was a blow of luck, and he was inclined to a girl in his office. However, he thought the girl was the best blessing among all the others showered on him. Their affair continued for around four years, and then guess what? He was caught red handed by his wife when he least expected it. She divorced him, chucked him out of the job, and all assets seized in lieu of compensation. The office girl left him because she loved a COO and not a pauper who couldn’t even manage his wife.

He was back to square one, nothing left with him but an engineering degree, which was of no use with such a tainted reputation. When he needed the most, always his own, even luck ditched him.

Don’t think if luck has favored you several times; it will always favor you. Like any other thing, never commit the mistake of taking the luck for granted. The irony is most of the time being lucky makes you ambitious and fearless, and it ignites you to drive the life rashly. There’s a high chance of meeting an accident in such an inebriated state. Don’t fall into the vicious trap of luck. You can even thank GOD if you are not so lucky as long as you have a head on your shoulders.