Roy L. Pickering Jr.'s Blog, page 7

TONI MORRISON

REST IN POWER

I just learned Toni Morrison has passed. Perhaps the greatest writer of all time. My heart is broken but the thought that her books were left behind for us, some which I haven't gotten to yet, is a source of joy. R.I.P. to a true queen. Y'all can keep your royalty. I have Toni.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) August 6, 2019

https://t.co/RY3ZzjGutj

— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) August 6, 2019

How Toni Morrison Fostered a Generation of Black Writers https://t.co/MayrwuOT9H— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) August 6, 2019

"If you can only be tall because somebody is on their knees, then you have a serious problem."

Rest in Power, Toni Morrison. ❤️

ROY'S BOOK REVIEWS - My new YouTube channel

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I've decided to give the #booktuber thing a shot. Since I already have a bunch of #bookreviews composed in written form which appear on #Goodreads and #Amazon and on my blog #ALineADay - I figured I would try to overcome my camera shyness and film some for #YouTube. Guess I'll post one per week. So far I've recorded 3 of them and despite the lack of frills, bells and whistles, IMHO they're not half bad. I'll let you know when my channel is activated and hope to hear your opinions in response to mine. #StayTunedA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Jul 25, 2019 at 8:27am PDT

Yes, it's true. I have decided to join the ranks of BookTubers who post videos sharing thoughts about various bookish matters on YouTube. Videos will be released to my channel ROY'S BOOK REVIEWS on a weekly basis. Please tune in each Tuesday (or whenever you can get around to them) to hear my thoughts on novels I have read over the years. Fingers crossed that I'll manage to hold your attention. My videos are all in the 10-minute range, give or take a couple minutes. Thoughts and opinions are 100% completely my own. None of these books were sent to me free of charge in exchange for a glowing report. If I loved a book, I let you know. If I hated it, I respectfully let you know. If I'm on the fence, I straddle and give you as much spoiler free details as I can to help you make up your mind about whether you care to check the book out. If you agree with what I've said, please let me know. If you disagree, please let me know. If you've been convinced to pick up a book based on my endorsement of it at ROY'S BOOK REVIEWS, that's fantastic. As a writer myself, I know that word of mouth is invaluable to both authors and readers in constant search of their next great read. So I'm thrilled to be spreading the news via YouTube videos that I have read plenty of great books, with countless others sitting on my TBR pile waiting for me to get around to them, and I encourage you to take a chance on as many as you can. First one up is my review of Philip Roth's novel THE PLOT AGAINST AMERICA.

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#bookreviews #starratingsA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Jul 28, 2019 at 10:22am PDT

https://t.co/OTCe8FcOk6 pic.twitter.com/PVxExUnPfw

— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) July 30, 2019

Juneteenth thoughts

Happy Juneteenth! A video for those who need to learn more about the holiday. #Juneteenth2019 #Juneteenth pic.twitter.com/PSOsvTLaJl— Frederick Joseph (@FredTJoseph) June 19, 2019

Outside the Oval Office, I kept a painting of a small crowd huddled around a pocketwatch, waiting for the moment the Emancipation Proclamation took effect. On Juneteenth, we celebrate the anniversary of that news - freedom - reaching slaves in Texas. And something more: pic.twitter.com/kSkLHbfnc3

— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) June 19, 2019

And slaves. Can’t forget the slaves. https://t.co/bwaPQy61lv— Matthew A. Cherry

Leaving Neverland

For years I have been an enormous Michael Jackson fan. Not the fanatical variety that dressed up like him and tried to emulate his every move, but I've been in awe of his musical talents from nearly as far back as I can remember. I've been around the block long enough to have watched him perform with his big brothers, ironically (in retrospect) seeming so much older than his years. At my first job as a summer camp counselor for 7, 8 and 9 year old kids at my church, the kids put on a talent show at the end. The girls performed Stop! In the Name of Love and the boys, led by this little guy who was a fantastic dancer, performed Dancing Machine. I remember hearing songs from Off the Wall the first time around and knowing immediately that there was a new sheriff in town. I expected him to become a big movie star after The Wiz but it turned out to be a one shot deal. Along with everyone else I recognized while watching Motown 25 that he was ready to explode to the next level. I remember anticipating the hyped debuts of videos such as Thriller and Remember the Time that actually turned out even cooler than we imagined they would be. In college I lied to a girl or two I was trying to impress, claiming to be one of the background dancers in Michael Jackson's video for Bad. I named one of my short stories after an MJ song (You've been hit by, you've been struck by...). If not quite a stan, I was definitely a Michael Jackson all caps FAN.

As Jackson got older he definitely got weirder. Stories about him grew increasingly disturbing. The odd changes to his appearance actually turned out to be useful distractions from odder, not particularly low whispers about his personal life. I remember feeling relieved when he married Lisa Marie Pressley. Maybe, in spite of some eccentricities, he was basically a normal guy after all. People try to take advantage of absurdly wealthy celebrities by making up salacious stories and suing them as a get rich quick scheme all the time. Michael Jackson was quirky because of an abnormal childhood, but nothing more sinister than that. I tried to believe this and was largely successful at convincing myself.

I was rocked when he died as evidenced when I wrote One Glove-One Love: Michael Jackson tribute and Michael Jackson Memorial Service. I knew there would never be another like him. Although I didn't consider him to be a music genius on the level of Miles Davis or Prince, Michael was certainly the ultimate entertainer. To make a proper comparison, rather than choosing another singer it probably makes more sense to compare him to Harry Houdini or Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus. Game changers!

Last night I watched the documentary Leaving Neverland. I've officially seen and heard enough. I can no longer see Michael Jackson as innocent until proven guilty. Now it's the other way around. At least I still have Janet...and Tito.

Get your Michael Jackson binge listening on while you still have time...— Travon Free (@Travon) March 4, 2019

Even the Church of Dr. King can't handle it!#LeavingNeverland https://t.co/BgLplBIoLG— Daniel Raza (@S_DannyRaza) March 4, 2019

This Leaving Neverland documentary is sickening. Primarily wtf is the matter with this guy's parents? Father at least had the sense to stay away from this show but Mom is cheerfully on camera acting beyond clueless.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

I would eventually learn why there was no appearance by the fathers in documentary. Not a whole lot of happy in these stories.

#LeavingNeverland - Either MJ was a monster or these people are really f'd up for making up such horrible stories. But they make the parents look just as bad for incredible negligence as they make Michael Jackson out to be a predator. How can no anger be aimed at their parents?— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

Sure seems that MJ groomed particular types of families who were easiest to manipulate. Not only overwhelmed by his stardom but also hopeful to achieve their own stardom with Jackson's help. I also think MJ maintained relationships with kids, esp. famous 1's, that weren't sexual— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

Macaulay Culkin, Emmanuel Lewis, Corey Feldman are credible when claiming relationships w/ Michael Jackson weren't sexual because they're likely telling the truth. I used to think if MJ was into boys he'd just pay for sex trafficking. But these families basically acted like pimps— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

Michael Jackson is not the 1st person to have his "childhood stolen". Whether it's due to child stardom or far less glamorous reasons, there are quite a few people who missed out on traditional childhoods. Most don't compensate as adults by hanging out with kids all the time.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

Yes there was a childlike quality to Michael Jackson,

but to what degree was it a lure?

But you can be strange without being a pedophile. Was MJ both? I'd like to believe he wasn't but more than being a stan, I'm a realist.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

One thing made clear to me from social media regarding high profile criminal cases of various natures is that people pick a side early on. Based on desired outcome they choose what evidence sways them & what to dismiss in order to to support pre-reached conclusions.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

If you're sympathetic to the accuser for whatever reason, it won't matter to you that case against the accused isn't ironclad. You'll accept the accusations without requiring hard proof. The accused person's denials will fall on deaf ears.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

Conversely if you're sympathetic to the person accused of wrong doing, no amount of circumstantial evidence will be enough to convince you they're guilty. You'll grasp any straw that points to possible innocence. Conspiracy theories will seem quite reasonable even if far fetched.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

In the end you may never know what actually went down with 100% certainty. Your guesses/assumptions will be right some of the time and wrong some of the time. But in your mind you'll always be right and that's what counts.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

Sometimes you just know something in your gut. This isn't true knowledge. It's belief. It's conviction. But it really really feels like knowing what is/isn't true. So we go with it.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

The smoothest criminals are those who excel at choosing perfect victims. This keeps them from being caught/accused for a long time, & when day of reckoning finally does arrive the accusations come from flawed sources that are easy to dismiss. Powerful people are tough to topple.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) March 4, 2019

I am a therapist that works with survivors. If the abuser is a loved one (I.e., parent, sibling, etc) often the loss of the relationship to the abuser is as traumatic as the abuse itself. It can take a long time for a victim to come to terms with such a loss.— J Axman (@jeffluvsmetal) March 4, 2019

Even if you take out the matter of the sexual molestation (which I believe happened) just the psychological damage MJ did to these boys by fostering a fantastical relationship with them and then coldly cutting it off is unconscionable. Their parents failed these boys as well.— J Axman (@jeffluvsmetal) March 4, 2019

I don’t know if what happened to him was at the hands of Michael Jackson, but that statement rings very true to me, as a survivor. It seems normal because it’s what you know until you mention it to someone “normal” and they are horrified :/ it’s a shitty feeling.— Jᴇɴɴɪғᴇʀ (@oyofmidmidworld) March 4, 2019

If you're not able to stomach watching the documentary (you certainly wouldn't be alone) but you are interested in this subject, I recommend reading this BuzzFeed article at minimum.

Some other stuff I found (while looking for a picture or two to accompany this post) to be taken with as large a grain of salt as you wish:

MJ and Boys;  NY Post article;  National Enquirer article

THE BLACK ATHLETE - Reprinted

pic.twitter.com/nUAdxfbgbG— Big Dave

BLACK HISTORY MONTH

Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.
AUGUST WILSON#amwriting #writing #writinglife pic.twitter.com/S1FgUAEcnz— Jon Winokur (@AdviceToWriters) February 6, 2019

Tell #stories filled with facts. Make people touch and taste and KNOW. Make people FEEL! FEEL! FEEL!
OCTAVIA BUTLER#amwriting #fiction pic.twitter.com/HJ3yZ4PPzS— Jon Winokur (@AdviceToWriters) February 12, 2019

"The more you know of your history, the more liberated you are." - Maya Angelou pic.twitter.com/6w9k2YIEMt— Capital Prep Schools (@CPREP4Life) February 8, 2019

In 1959, while Lorraine Hansberry broke down the matters of racial discrimination and importance of family, Berry Gordy Jr. formed 1 of the most successful Black owned record labels, Motown Records.

That same yr, jazz trumpeter, Miles Davis recorded “Kind of Blue.” #BHM2019 pic.twitter.com/yAbGoIk6a3— California Endowment (@CalEndow) February 12, 2019

Langston Hughes. Born Feb 1, 1902. “Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.” A writer for the Chicago Defender and a major contributor to the Harlem Renaissance. His insightful, wise words still ring true. #playwright #activist #poet pic.twitter.com/6bcMGSxeRt— Black History Images (@BlackHistoryUS) February 1, 2018

James Baldwin. "I am what time, circumstance, history, have made of me, certainly but I am also, much more than that" pic.twitter.com/WPZzcjNdWH— Black History Images (@BlackHistoryUS) March 8, 2014

Alice Walker. "Everything want to be loved. Us sing & dance & holler, just trying to be loved." #art #history #writer pic.twitter.com/oWfnvRVcCZ— Black History Images (@BlackHistoryUS) March 7, 2014

Audre Lorde. "It is not our differences that divide us. It's our inability to recognize, accept & celebrate those differences." #poet #truth pic.twitter.com/vkZ7R0sqoU— Black History Images (@BlackHistoryUS) September 19, 2017

James Baldwin gives the best answer I’ve ever heard to those who claim they are “color blind” and that Black people should stop talking about race and just move on.#BlackHistoryMonth
/12pic.twitter.com/zAfOO11rVN— Qasim Rashid, Esq. (@MuslimIQ) February 12, 2019

Toni Morrison annihilated this interviewer. #BlackHistoryMonth has been on strugg but this moment should tide us over for a few days. pic.twitter.com/xrvGmw2zzp— NoSugarNoCreamMag (@NSNCMag) February 12, 2019

A Line A Day: Blackness Defined https://t.co/cquexwVLcs #blackhistorymonth— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) February 12, 2019

A Line A Day: Fatherhood and Black History Month https://t.co/iGil5yHhzq— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) February 12, 2019

Better Believe It's Beautiful https://t.co/ne6vmB4b6P via @Etsy for #blackhistorymonth— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) February 12, 2019

A Line A Day: ALL THINGS BLACKNESS https://t.co/RDnDATUSch— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) February 1, 2019

#BlackHistoryMonth https://t.co/gY787agzH7— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) February 2, 2019

Since it's #blackhistorymonth here are some #BlackBookReviews https://t.co/tvQRZeSzzC— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) February 9, 2019

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#bookrecommendations #blackhistorymonth #bookstagram https://lineaday.blogspot.com/2014/02/blackbookreviews.htmlA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Feb 10, 2019 at 9:52am PST

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How many of these authors have you read? #bookrecommendations #blackhistorymonth #proverbsforthepeopleA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Feb 9, 2019 at 12:34pm PST

Happy Black History Month! pic.twitter.com/N9u2L49mN7— Sleeper Athletes (@SleeperAth1etes) February 1, 2019

Last but not least, a date near and dear to my heart in Black History because I had the opportunity to participate in it directly was: 1-20-09

CHAPTER ONE - read by the author

I hope you enjoy listening to this excerpt (with accompanying slideshow of visuals) from my novel MATTERS OF CONVENIENCE. Perhaps I'll keep recording and create a full audio book. Then again that's probably best left in the hands of those with greater expertise, though I don't think I sound half bad if I do say so myself. If you want more of the story, a printed or electronic copy of my book will need to be obtained and read. For now, just hit play and kindly grant me about six and a half minutes of your attention.

End of Year Book Giveaway Blitz

I've decided to close out this one-of-a-kind year with giveaways for my two novels at Amazon (scroll down for links). Next up will be publication of my first children's book and the undertaking of my third novel. Stay tuned.



Kindle edition of MATTERS OF CONVENIENCE will be available FREE OF CHARGE from December 20th to December 24th (aka Christmas Eve).

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No reasonable excuse or explanation occurred to her for declining his invitation. Her body craved to be explored by his touch. She longed to discover the places that would make him arch with pleasure, moan with delirium, hum her name in delight. Yet something made her suppress these urges, told her she must wait, that it was too soon. And although the source of these warnings was vague, she opted to obey them over desires that were far better understood. #Temptation #MattersOfConvenience #RoyLPickeringJr #AuthorOfInstagram #WritersOfIG #BlackAuthors #booklovers #bookworms #bibliophile #bookquotes #diversebooks #bookishlove #writerlife #indieauthor #blackbookquotesA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Dec 6, 2018 at 5:50pm PST

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Every sentence she spoke formed a melody, her voice like the musical notes of a snake charmer luring him from his basket. She stood apart from the mural of women who had graced him with their presence over the years. It was as if they formed a flat image while she alone was three dimensional. #MattersOfConvenience #RoyLPickeringJr #AuthorOfInstagram #WritersOfIG #BlackAuthors #booklovers #bookworms #bibliophile #bookquotes #diversebooks #bookishlove #writerlife #indieauthor #blackbookquotes Art by @eringopaintA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Nov 18, 2018 at 11:49am PST

Kindle edition of PATCHES OF GREY will be available FREE OF CHARGE from December 27th to December 31st (aka New Year's Eve).

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Pickering’s talent is astonishing and ignores every precedent. – Alvah’s Books Pickering’s love for his characters makes us empathize with all of their plights. – Five Borough Books Pickering’s writing style will cause readers to empathize with the characters’ actions, no matter how wrong. – RAWSISTAZ Reviewers The plot kept smashing my soul into pieces. – Books and Wine Pickering’s writing is beautiful and poignant, causing the reader to become one with the characters, feeling their pain, their anger, and their hurt. – A Book Vacation "Patches of Grey” is a deeply complex tale with authentic characters whose personalities are strong and well developed. Mr. Pickering writes with a voice strong enough to one day propel him into the category with the likes of other great Novelists such as: Richard Wright [Native Son, Black Boy], Ralph Ellison [Invisible Man], and John A. Williams [The Man Who Cried I AM]. - Dianne Rosena Jones Roy L. Pickering, Jr. deftly weaves a coming of age tale. – Reads for Pleasure Patches of Grey is a story that will appeal to all audiences and make for great discussion between parents and their young adults, students and book clubs. – Precision Reviews Pickering’s talent is fluid and crisp. There’s a certain clarity to the prose that’s considered and well judged – just enough to paint the picture and more than enough to drive along the narrative. – Unheard Words ...a must read! This recently honored B.R.A.G.Medallion book is one you will be glad you picked! - IndieBrag #bookreview #bookstagram #PatchesOfGrey #RoyLPickeringJr #authorsofinstagram ##BookAndBarbecueA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Sep 3, 2018 at 4:27pm PDT

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#PatchesOfGrey #bookstagram #authorsofinstagram on a snowy dayA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Mar 8, 2018 at 2:17pm PST

Happy downloading!  Happy holidays!  Good luck with keeping your resolutions for 2019 especially if one of them is to read more often, more varied, more great books. Happy reading!!!

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Got my #SwellBottle collection done up #OutOfPrint style and all is right with the world. #bookstagram #PatchesOfGrey #MattersOfConvenience #RoyLPickeringJr #authorsofinstagramA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Sep 1, 2018 at 8:58am PDT

p.s. - Here is my final book review of 2018. Kept this one short and sweet.

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
My rating: 5 of 5 stars



View all my reviews

THE KISS

                                 THE KISS                                                 BY ROY L. PICKERING JR.


     Packing is thirsty business, even when gathering up nothing but the bare essentials, so I stand in the light supplied by my refrigerator and take a swig of soda from the bottle.  This is a childhood habit that I did not or would not outgrow no matter how frequently my wife nagged me to get a cup, to set a better example for our children.  She never has understood that when drinking, I am making no attempt to be a role model.  I’m simply quenching my thirst.
     It is a few minutes past midnight and my house is silent and near pitch dark.  I am frequently awake at this hour, usually not by choice, but due to my body’s frustrating rebellion against sleep.  This situation has worsened considerably in the past few months, probably because I’ve had much on my mind, and troubles do not give respite just because eyes have been closed.  Tonight however, I fully intended to be awake at this late hour.  There is a purpose to my current night crawling.
     As I drain the bottle of ginger ale, I am reminded of an  evening in the distant past.  I was in my first year of high school at the time, and the occasion was my school’s freshman dance.  The cafeteria was serving as dance hall, and the majority of my classmates were exhibiting their best moves in rhythm with the blaring music.  As for me, I was stationed by the punch bowl, snacking on potato chips and downing one glass of punch after another.  Throughout my mindless snacking my gaze remained steady. The object of my observation, admiration, dedication and desperation was Erica Murphy.  I was absolutely crazy about her, had been since the first time I laid eyes on her, and had no idea what to do about it. 
     She was dancing with her boyfriend, a guy who I would have disliked on general principle based on his personality, but the fact that he had claimed the girl who had claimed my heart cemented the deal.   A slow song came on and Mark got to pull Erica closer and hold her swaying body in his arms.  This was more than I was willing to take.  I would not allow my solitude to be taunted any longer.  I would not allow my passion to be made a mockery of.  Plus, I had to pee.  
     I headed to the bathroom.  Once my business there was taken care of, I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror.  I wasn't bad looking.  A few pimples, but no major damage.  If only I wasn't so shy.  If only I had met Erica before Mark.  But "if only" was too depressing a concept for me to deal with.  "If only" never got you anywhere.  It never got anything done.  You either accepted what you were and where you were at, or else you went and changed it.  I chose the former and decided to go home.
     As I was leaving, who should come walking my way but Erica.
     "Hi, Denis."
     "Hi, Erica.  What are you doing out here?"
     "Going to the bathroom."
     "Of course.  So, uh, are you enjoying the dance?"
     "Yeah, it's okay."
     I was quickly running out of small talk.  My heart was beating furiously.  I sensed an opportunity, but for what I wasn’t quite sure.  "The music's pretty good."
     "Yeah, it's okay," she responded.  A few more seconds of torturous silence passed.  I couldn't think of anything else menial to say.  "Well, see you later," Erica said as she headed towards the girls room.
     "Wait a minute."  I noticed that I had grabbed hold of her arm, but I had no idea why I was stopping her.  Then suddenly I did.  I took a step forward, closed my eyes, and kissed her. 
     No dictionary contains the right words to define the sensation of that moment.  Never before had I felt so alive.  My imagination had failed to warn me that her lips would be so soft and sweet.
     "Denis, I ..."
     "Yeah, I know," I said, cutting her off.  I didn't want the magic to be tainted by an "I like you, but as a friend" speech.  I was perfectly content with my initiation into manhood.  And though I had not been transformed into an expert on the ways of women, something about that kiss told me she had wanted it as much as I.
     Time has a way of sneaking by at a pace that would make you nauseous if you were conscious of the speed.  Somehow, some way, twelve years have passed between then and now.  Yet it's crystal clear in my mind, no detail forgotten.  I've gained much since that night when I lost a little of my innocence with Erica Murphy. A diploma, a marriage certificate, kids, career, house. Sometimes I wonder if it was a fair trade.
     I guess I'm done packing now.  Strolling down memory lane has made me hungry, as has the open refrigerator door.  Maybe I should make myself a sandwich for the road.  No, I'm just delaying the inevitable.  I've spent too much time thinking this over.  I thought of every possible reason not to do it, and none were good enough.
     I leave the kitchen and quietly enter the bedroom of my two children, Krystal and Tyler.  It's hard to believe sometimes that I'm half responsible for creating anything this precious.  I fear they will hate me.  If they don't on instinct, my wife will make certain they learn.  Not that I'll blame her.  I'm going to have to take the heat on this one.  No way I squeeze out smelling like a rose.
     I grew up on westerns, so am no stranger to the good guy/bad guy motif.  Every story has to have one of each, and nobody has any problem telling them apart, on account of their hats.  The good guy has it all.  The townspeople adore him, for he's come to save their little world.  He has no guilt complex to contend with, no inner demons to fight, because he has strength of conviction.  That is, he's always sure he's right because right is all he knows.  With such dedication to justice, not to mention a perfect profile, of course he always gets the glory and the girl.  Not a bad job.  But you have to wonder how difficult it is to keep that hat so white.  How much does he have to sacrifice? 
     After eight years of playing the role; loving husband, dutiful father, church going - tax paying - hard working community pillar, I decided to switch hats.  I'm giving up my good guy perks for the piece of my soul I pawned away, and a hat much easier to keep clean.
     Looking at my kids is almost enough to do it.  I'm just about willing to slip back into my marital bed and continue with the facade.  This won't be easy for them.  They won't understand.  From their point of view, hell from everybody's viewpoint, what we had seemed fine.  People have spouses who cheat on them, or abuse them, or commit any number of matrimonial atrocities.  Not so in our case.  Our lives were a Norman Rockwell painting with one invisible flaw.  Somewhere along the line I fell out of love with my wife, and she responded in kind.
     How did it happen?  If I could, I would make a concise declaration illuminating beyond the shadow of a doubt the specific reason for the downfall of our marriage.  No can do.  There was no climactic episode, but rather, a steady progression of moments, infinitesimal on their own, each serving to further widen the rift that had formed between us.
     I fell in love with my wife in one fell swoop.  I fell out of it slowly, steadily, by degrees.  I realized it had happened when I couldn't smile for a picture.  You choose to spend your life with someone because that person makes you happy.  I was all out of happy.  And after trying for a few years to figure out where it had gone and how to get it back, I reached the conclusion I had suspected all along.  It wasn't coming back, and I didn't want to live this way anymore.  
     I cautiously enter the other occupied bedroom in my house.  There she goes, my wife of eight years.  On insomniac nights I have spent countless hours watching her sleep.  But never like this.  Never standing in the doorway with a knapsack wrapped around my shoulder, saying goodbye in secret.  It feels cowardly, but what good would a big teary scene do?  Like any sane man, when I die I want to go in my sleep.  I'm a firm believer in silent exits.
     I walk to my wife's side of the bed and memorize her expression in slumber.  If it's going to haunt me, I might as well get it right.  She's still so beautiful.  As beautiful as when I first kissed her.  I had been right.  She did want it as much as I. It took all of a fourteen year old boy's courage to snatch that first kiss, and another two years romantic labor to earn a second. A long time by some people's standards.  But to me it seemed a worthwhile venture, and time was a commodity I possessed in abundance.
     Without hardly being conscious of doing it, I lean over and kiss her softly.  Her eyes flutter, then snap open.  Her gaze locks onto mine for a moment.  Then her eyes wander over me until something makes them come to a stop.  She has spotted my knapsack.  "Erica, I ..."
     "Yes, I know", she says, giving me grace to skip the speech I don't have it in me to utter, and she can do without hearing.  What can we say in one night that we haven't said in eight years? We've run out of words, out of steam, out of time.  It's almost funny that I had worried about a tumultuous farewell.  The air has been leaking out of our balloon for years, so how could we possibly go out with a bang?
     Erica can afford to be silent.  Everyone will automatically take her side.  Nobody roots for a deserter.  It will be apparent who the bad guy is, so she knows she can save her breath.  In my defense I could explain that I did not terminate our marriage by running away, because you can't kill what's already dead. But what would be the point?  Once you've been seen wearing that black hat, it's yours forever.
     Life seemed perfect on that once upon a time night, standing outside the boys bathroom with my body on fire and heart on a string.  My first kiss almost lasted forever, but not quite.  I guess sometimes not even your destiny is the one.
     There is nothing left to do but turn and leave.  It ended a long time ago.  It just took me a while to follow our love out the door.  No one will believe me, but this is the most necessary thing I've ever done. 
     Still, I am torn apart inside.  She was after all, my first love.  This woman provided the two most potent memories of my life. The first time I ever kissed her...and the last.

pic.twitter.com/aFFHARiYB6— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) December 12, 2018

THE CASE FOR BOOK REVIEWS

If payment for novels was based on the amount of hours they take to write, or the amount of effort authors puts into them, or the amount of skill required to immerse strangers into an imagined world, a single book would cost thousands of dollars. Tens of thousands even. Great books would make it into the hundreds of thousands and masterpieces considered among the best of all time would have price tags in the millions. But since price is mostly based on the amount of paper and ink required to print a book (I'll stay away from the topic of e-book pricing) with a little extra thrown in to turn a small profit, readers of every novel ever purchased get an incredible bargain. Therefore the very least readers can do to pay authors their due is take a minute to give the book they just enjoyed a star rating and jot down a few words letting others know why they recommend it. It's not as if people aren't in the habit of giving opinions these days. Yelp reviews for a restaurant they went to or a hotel they stayed at are commonplace undertakings. People routinely hop on facebook or Twitter to praise or vent about one thing or another, not because anyone asked, but because the internet has provided us with an infinite Comments box to express how we feel about everything under the sun. So please don't be shy when it comes to telling the world how you felt about the latest book you read. Word of mouth is lifeblood for authors. If enough good things are said about their last book, they just may muster up what it takes to write another. Regardless of where you choose to do it (my favorite places for exhibiting book reviews in addition to this blog are Amazon and goodreads and most recently - my Instagram page), most especially when you loved a book, broadcast it to everyone who happens to stumble upon your words of praise. It won't cost you a penny, but trust me, what you have to say is invaluable.

There is A LOT going on in this novel that I admittedly found to be a challenging read. Much of it takes place in Jamaica where perhaps you have visited on vacation, but this is certainly no "beach read". It is told from the vantage point of multiple characters, each of them telling their own story, each of the stories related to the build up to a failed attempt on the life of Bob Marley and the aftermath. It took quite a while for me to get through this book, and I confess to considering stopping once or twice. The use of Jamaican dialect for many of the characters was a small part of the challenge. A bigger part were the chapters (fortunately not too many of them) written in stream of consciousness never ending sentence format. Yet even as I struggled to keep my reading momentum going, there was something gripping about the narrative that had me hooked. The book eventually leaves Jamaica behind and moves to New York during the enchanting crack epidemic years. I found the latter portion easier reading, perhaps because I grew up in the Bronx and have familiarity with the setting. Before coming to the Bronx I lived on a Caribbean island, not Jamaica but St. Thomas. And of course I'm a huge Bob Marley fan because I can't understand how anyone could not be. So there are quite a few elements to this story that had me looking forward to reading it, and even though it was a tougher than anticipated read, I'm glad I stuck with it because Marlon James' talent is undeniable. Every one of the characters rings true during their moments as the focus of the story. The style in which it is written, feeling like a long series of somewhat connected scenes, almost like a short story collection rather than a novel, was an author choice that I know impressed some people (since it won a Booker Award) but probably put off a fair number of readers as well. This is not a book that you casually invest some time in. It's a major literary commitment with a generous pay off. Reading much of it while listening to Bob Marley's music is not a requirement, just my personal recommendation. #bookreview #bookstagram #blackauthors #bibliophileA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Aug 19, 2018 at 7:16pm PDT

I love John Irving. I kept waiting for this novel to get better and less odd as it went along. Not that odd is bad, and Mr. Irving is the master of making readers fall in love with peculiar characters, even kids who seem overly obsessed with statues of legendary religious virgins such as Mary rather than normal kid interests. But as I read this novel (which has a wonderful title) I got the feeling that he simply felt like writing about writing, and aging, and dying, and religion/Catholicism, and homophobia, and sex. All things he has written profoundly about before, but in more intriguing and plot driven ways. He delves into miracles and ghosts/angels to a greater extent in Avenue of Mysteries than most of his earlier novels, though miracles are also nothing new to the prose of John Irving. The fact of the matter is, there are many familiar elements recognizable to readers of his earlier work in this book, and the author's easy to read and digest style is as John Irvingesque as ever, more or less. But at his best John Irving writes novels that I fall madly in love with, and that simply wasn't the case with this one. Something was missing, or perhaps too much of something usually restrained was present. He is still and always will be one of my literary heroes and favorite authors, but if you've never read a John Irving novel, I do not advise starting with this one. #bookreview #bookstagram #bibliophileA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on May 18, 2018 at 5:31pm PDT

Water for Elephants is the story of a man in his nineties living in a nursing home who thinks back on his days spent working as a veterinarian in a traveling circus. The setting jumps back and forth from Jacob being a young man on a train with a bunch of circus folk to being an old man dealing with the erosion of his body and mind. Most of the book is dedicated to his circus days and how he ends up with the woman who would become his wife. These sections are where most of the action takes place. In the present it doesn't get more dramatic than Jacob being cranky about nursing home life, him becoming disoriented sometimes, and family members forgetting to visit him on the one day when a circus happens to be nearby. Yet I found the writing to be more engaging in quiet scenes set in the present where nothing much took place than the portions dealing with circus life. Plenty of elements are in place for intriguing storytelling. We have a circus owner with a complex over not being the Ringling Brothers Circus who is willing to cut losses of human lives if that's what it takes to keep the show going on. There is the paranoid schizophrenic boss who switches from charming to psychotic on a dime. His beautiful headline act wife whom Jacob can not stop thinking about. Also aboard the train are performers, some more freakish than others, and animals, some more dangerous than others, that are in Jacob's care. The scenes taking place during Jacob's youth felt rushed to me. It was as if the author wanted to include as many eventful happenings during this period as could be crammed in, but she dwells on none of them for long because it's already time to move on to the next one. Everybody seemed to be a character sketch of a personality type rather than a fully fleshed out human being. The lone exception is Jacob, but only because the book focuses on him in his senior years along with his adventurous youthful days, giving us a little more time to learn what makes him tick. Water for Elephants is an easy read that covers some interesting territory, but it fell short of being the greatest show on earth. I wouldn't be surprised if I enjoy the movie more. #bookreview #bookstagramA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Apr 9, 2018 at 12:11pm PDT

Extraordinary. This book won a Pulitzer Prize for good reason. The plot is deceptively simple, though the narrative is laid out in intricate and inventive fashion. A young German orphan boy is handy at mechanical fidgeting, including the self taught ability to fix just about any radio and pick up whatever transmissions are able to reach him. One such transmission that gets to Werner and his sister Jutta comes from France, sent by the great uncle of a blind girl that it is his destiny to one day meet. A great deal takes place between Werner hearing the broadcasts of Marie-Laure's great uncle and finally crossing paths with her. That great deal is World War II. Due to his talent, Werner lands in an academy that trains German boys to become German soldiers. Since the alternative is working in the mines, and since the school is a much more likely place for his abilities to be expanded and lead him to a better life than would unthinking manual labor, the school seems to be a superior path for Werner, allowing him to escape the standard trajectory for someone raised in an orphanage. Even though it means leaving his sister behind. But when your country is waging a war against the world that it is destined to lose, there is no straightforward path to success and happiness, only orders to put on a uniform, pick up a weapon, and fight for Hitler's warped vision. As for Marie-Laure, who is taught to handle herself in perpetual darkness as well as can be done by her doting father, she ends up in the home of her great uncle and his top secret radio transmitter in a small French town on the sea. Eventually she is separated from her father when he is taken prisoner, but left behind with her is an invaluable gift, a rare gem removed from the museum he worked in to keep it safe from treasure seeking Nazis. There is one in particular who is determined to find it, though not so much for its monetary worth as for its rumored magical properties. It is a gift that Marie-Laure is unaware is in her possession until finally figuring out clues sent by her father that lead to its discovery. The book's point of view jumps back and forth... (Read full #bookreview at GoodReads) #bookstagramA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Mar 1, 2018 at 8:20pm PST

Brilliant satire or biting social commentary delivered with excessively over the top weirdness? After reading this book I learned that the author started out as a spoken word poet who launched his career by killing it at Nuyorican Poets Cafe. No surprise given the style of Beatty's prose. Nearly every sentence is a rambling, poetic, rapid fire joke with multiple punch lines delivered. The Sellout is definitely a novel that seems written to be listened to as much if not more than it was written to be read silently to yourself. The plot involves a black man who was home schooled by his social scientist father, with every lesson being about racial identity. After his father is murdered by cops, the son inherits the family farm along with acquiring settlement money. He resides in a California town that has literally been erased from the map. So in addition to providing his neighbors with incredible fruit, stellar weed, and crisis counseling in times of mental emergencies, the narrator is also on a mission to earn back recognition that his hometown is still there. A man named Hominy (who happens to be the last living cast member of the Little Rascals) insists on being the narrator's slave. Yes you read that right, and no I don't have an explanation for motive beyond this book is satirical with every line meant to be taken with a grain, or perhaps a boulder, of salt. The narrator attempts to bring racial segregation back to his town, starting with a city bus. Bizarre stuff indeed. Beatty hits readers with every cultural reference under the sun along the way as he examines obsession with race. I enjoyed this book, yet reached a point where I was mainly reading to accomplish the feat of finishing what had been started. I suppose I prefer my satire in shorter doses. I suppose that as much as I love expertly delivered, thought provoking spoken word poetry, I look forward to a different form of artistic experience when reading a novel. Regardless of whether or not I read another Paul Beatty book, I'd love to listen to him read his work or just talk about whatever comes to mind. #bookreview #bookstagram #booknerd #bookworm #bibliophile #reader #IGbooksA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Jan 30, 2018 at 7:37am PST

Exceptional novel. Brit Bennett writes with a steady hand as she immerses us into the minds and lives of three people. Nadia and Aubrey are the best of friends. Luke is the man they both love, at different times as well as simultaneously. He is the man who would have made a mother out of Nadia had they chosen to parent, and the one who eventually makes a wife and mother of Aubrey. He is the first love of both of them, but choices of course need to be made and not everybody can get a happily ever after out of such a situation. Or maybe not anyone. Luke's mother is the first lady of the church that plays a prominent role in the lives of all characters in this book. To varying degrees, her son and the women who love him succeed and fail at obtaining her approval. Nadia and Aubrey are both abandoned and motherless. Aubrey's mother chooses an awful man over being in the lives of her daughters. Yet Aubrey proves to be the character who is the best at maintaining loyalty, possessing an innocence that remains untouched no matter how ill she is treated. Nadia's mother chooses the release of death, and in so doing fills her daughter with undeserved guilt and a restless soul, forever on the look-out for whatever clues and remembrances may have been left behind. Both girls are haunted to womanhood by maternal abandonment. Nadia at least still has a father willing to be there for her, but the hurt caused by her mother's unexplained suicide pushes her away from those who love her. And so she is not a particularly dutiful daughter. And after both her child and relationship with Luke are aborted, relationships with the men who follow are destined to fail. But it is Nadia's betrayal of Aubrey that is at the heart of this novel. The mothers in Bennett's novel do the best they can, are hurt and betrayed by callous men and by each other, and some of them manage to persevere while others do not. I was very much absorbed by this book, in part because it examines central themes that I dive into in my novel Matters of Convenience, in much larger part because it is a wonderfully written book by an author who is off to anA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Oct 29, 2017 at 9:46am PDT

Interesting book that made for a quick read. It is filled with Mat Johson's trademark humor regardless of the seriousness of topic at hand. The plot revolves around a recently fired African American Literature professor. Why was he fired? Because his primary focus was on examining a novel by Edgar Allan Poe, the only full length novel written by the brilliant but definitely not African American author. The name of the book is The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket. I had never heard of Poe's lone novel before reading Johnson's Pym. The narrator studies and teaches this book to his detriment because he believes it holds the key to understanding White-Black race relations. After being fired, the professor and his also unemployed best friend (who has his own obsession with a painter of landscapes, specifically, with finding the precise physical vantage point that each of his paintings are based on) end up on a quest that takes them along with the narrator's cousin and ex-girlfriend and her current husband among others to Antarctica. It is on this frozen terrain that they discover a lost race of creatures representing Whiteness. This means its opposite, a tropical island representing Blackness that Poe also wrote about in his novel, is possibly out there as well. When the world as we know it seemingly comes to an end, the narrator and his motley crew perhaps being the lone survivors of Armageddon only to have become slaves of the primitive creatures in Antarctica, the search is on for whatever paradises (whether man-made or otherwise) may still exist. That's about as well as I can describe Pym's quirky plot. Best to read this enjoyable book for yourself.A post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Oct 29, 2017 at 9:40am PDT

Audrey has everything going for her. She has a great job, good friends and impeccable taste. She’s been unlucky in love, but that’s okay because she’s focused on her career and a possible promotion. Her best friend, Marshall, provides the male shoulder she needs to lean on occasionally, so she has male company, it’s just platonic. It’s undeniable that Marshall is in love with Audrey. They tried dating years ago, but where he felt flames, she barely felt a flicker. Marshall has comfortably settled into the friend zone while he watches Audrey date other men, believing that one day she’ll realize that he’s the only constant in her life and should be the man in her life. James has played the fields for years. As his friends move into steady relationships, marriage and kids, he’s content to date several women. A BMW (black man working) in New York certainly has his pick of women and he takes full advantage of it. When James meets Audrey, he’s immediately taken with her and theirs is almost a story book romance, but almost doesn’t count. Pickering could have taken the easy route and given readers their happily ever after and wrapped the story up with a nice bow, but nope. He explores what happens if there’s no happily ever after and it’s a bumpy but enjoyable ride. Pickering’s characters are interesting and he uses them well. I found myself rooting for James and Audrey, of course, but I also wanted Marshall, Sarah and others to find their happy endings. A true sign of a good book and characters is that they stay with you after you’ve finished the book and these characters did. #bookreview excerpt for #MattersOfConvenience by Read in Colour. #bookstagramA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Sep 2, 2018 at 6:46am PDT

Pickering’s talent is astonishing and ignores every precedent. – Alvah’s Books Pickering’s love for his characters makes us empathize with all of their plights. – Five Borough Books Pickering’s writing style will cause readers to empathize with the characters’ actions, no matter how wrong. – RAWSISTAZ Reviewers The plot kept smashing my soul into pieces. – Books and Wine Pickering’s writing is beautiful and poignant, causing the reader to become one with the characters, feeling their pain, their anger, and their hurt. – A Book Vacation "Patches of Grey” is a deeply complex tale with authentic characters whose personalities are strong and well developed. Mr. Pickering writes with a voice strong enough to one day propel him into the category with the likes of other great Novelists such as: Richard Wright [Native Son, Black Boy], Ralph Ellison [Invisible Man], and John A. Williams [The Man Who Cried I AM]. - Dianne Rosena Jones Roy L. Pickering, Jr. deftly weaves a coming of age tale. – Reads for Pleasure Patches of Grey is a story that will appeal to all audiences and make for great discussion between parents and their young adults, students and book clubs. – Precision Reviews Pickering’s talent is fluid and crisp. There’s a certain clarity to the prose that’s considered and well judged – just enough to paint the picture and more than enough to drive along the narrative. – Unheard Words ...a must read! This recently honored B.R.A.G.Medallion book is one you will be glad you picked! - IndieBrag #bookreview #bookstagram #PatchesOfGrey #RoyPickering #authorsofinstagram ##BookAndBarbecueA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Sep 3, 2018 at 4:27pm PDT

Got my #SwellBottle collection done up #OutOfPrint style and all is right with the world. #bookstagram #PatchesOfGrey #MattersOfConvenience #RoyPickering #authorsofinstagramA post shared by Roy Pickering (@roylpickering_author) on Sep 1, 2018 at 8:58am PDT