Roy L. Pickering Jr.'s Blog, page 5
February 13, 2021
LOST LOVE - My first short story
Lost Love
By Roy L. Pickering Jr.
Charles walked slowly down the street with a look on his face that displayed the sadness filling his heart. His grey eyes, which seemed to be fighting a losing battle against pent up tears, glanced around in all directions. He was searching, as fruitless as he knew it was, for the love of his life, a life that would not be worth the effort of maintaining without her by his side. He had loved her more than anyone or anything, and thought she felt the same way about him. But when he awoke this morning she was gone, with no explanation and for no reason Charles could think of. Now he was filled with despair. The only thing that could lift his spirits would be to find Shirley, and he would go to the ends of the earth to bring her back where she belonged.
He first met her three years earlier. Charles had gone out to buy food for his fish, and as he browsed the pet store she caught his attention. Never had a pair of eyes so captivated him. Ordinarily shy and reserved, usually slow to take any action unless it was mulled over a thousand times, Charles suddenly felt as impetuous as the guys in those commercials for deodorant who just had to buy flowers for a beautiful woman walking by. Call it love at first sight if you must, because from that moment on, Charles knew Shirley must be his.
The memory of their first encounter triggered many others. Evenings in front of the television watching Monday night football or their favorite sitcoms; moonlit strolls along the pier; the look on Shirley’s face when he came home from work; the two of them falling asleep side by side after an exhausting day; being awakened by her in the morning with the covers all on her side. A smile crept onto Charles' face as he thought of the many good times they had shared. But then he remembered the undeniable fact that she was gone, and his smile disappeared.
Charles did not have any close relationships other than with Shirley. Even as a child when life had yet to impose the rules of adulthood, he had been a loner. Whether this was by his choice or that of others, he was never quite sure. What he did know for certain was that he and other people simply did not get along.
After meeting Shirley, he realized how empty and unfulfilling his life had been. As a youth, he would go to school and then come straight home. He never knew his father and his mother paid him minimal attention, even on the rare occasions when she was home. She was usually off on a date with whichever guy was currently at the head of the line. After doing his homework, Charles would either watch television or read. The characters he viewed or read about constituted his social circle. He rarely had the nerve to talk to girls from school, despite how hard the pangs of puberty pushed him to. On the few occasions he was able to muster up the necessary courage, nervousness caused him to talk like a blubbering idiot. The time he attempted to get a date for the prom was a particularly horrifying experience. There was only one girl he had really spoken to in high school, and the main reason he did was because she lived only a couple of houses away from him. They often left for school at the same time, and she couldn't go for more than ten conscious minutes without talking to someone. As school was a fifteen minute walk away, she would engage Charles in idle banter about her latest outfit.
He was not particularly attracted to Cindy, as she was overweight and over-pimpled. And he sure as hell didn't want to be surrounded by a bunch of people whom he disliked and vice versa. But since he did not want to be stigmatized as the guy who couldn't even get a date for the prom, he decided to ask Cindy.
Charles started off on the wrong foot by accidentally spilling his soda on her blouse. After that, the right foot never made an appearance.
Life after graduation from high school consisted of going to a job where he had to put up with the grinding monotony of an assembly line, then returning home to his television set and his science fiction fantasy books.
Shirley was like a breath of fresh air to an inmate in solitaire. For the first time there was more to come home to than just an empty, loveless room. Charles began to see that life was not something one had to trudge through reluctantly, but a thing of beauty to be enjoyed and cherished. And now she was gone.
He turned right on Sycamore Road in order to walk past the park. This had been their favorite place. So many hours had been spent here lounging on a blanket, catching some rays, tossing a Frisbee around, enjoying a nice picnic lunch.
Shirley had stormed into his life like a brilliant beam of light, illuminating everything around him. Then, just as quickly, she abandoned him to darkness. How could she just leave without any kind of warning? What had he done wrong? Charles did not want to revert back to his former way of living, but he couldn't see how to go on without Shirley being there to love him, and be loved by him.
They had had a perfect relationship. She was also always there to lend a sympathetic ear when he felt like the world was collapsing on him. Charles could tell just by the way Shirley looked at him that she understood, and this alone was reassurance enough.
Perhaps she did not need him as much as he did her. Maybe she had outgrown him. It may have been that only he gained anything from the relationship, while she was merely biding her time.
Shirley had given him the greatest gift that could be given to someone. She had taught him how to love. But then she took that love away. Better to have never received it in the first place. How could she do this to him? After all they had meant to each other. Didn't she have any feelings? Didn't she know how much he cared for her? Their relationship had not been a one way street, he had given to her as well. He had given all he had to give.
His feelings of remorse started to turn into anger. How dare she walk out on him? How dare she hurt him more than he had ever been hurt before? What a bitch!
Then he spotted what he had feared he would never see again, causing his heart to give a jump. Could it be? Was that Shirley about fifty yards ahead? There was only one way to find out. Charles started running as fast as he could. Oblivious to everything around him, he narrowly avoided being hit by a car as he dashed across the street. He turned the corner and saw the object of his chase casually walking down the street. "Shirley!" he called out. She turned around. It really was her.
The two of them ran towards each other. The second they came together, Charles pulled her into his arms and held on tightly, almost afraid to let go. "I can't believe I found you Shirley." Tears of joy fell from his eyes. "You don't know how much I missed you."
Shirley looked at him with those big brown eyes that had drawn Charles to her on the day they met, forever changing his life. His temporary anger was wiped away by the incredible euphoria now washing over him. "I'm never going to let you get away again", he said.
With that, Charles put the leash he had been carrying around Shirley's neck and walked his dog home.
January 23, 2021
ALL THINGS AVA APPELSAWSE
A READING
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MEME DU JOUR
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A SLIDESHOW
A PROMISE
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A TIMELESS MEME
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IN CASE YOU CARE TO BUY A COPY OF THE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING ADVENTURES OF AVA APPELSAWSE - A LINK TO IT
January 19, 2021
A New Start at a New Start
Gallup's final polling for the Trump presidency is out. His final approval rating was 34%.
— Mark Berman (@markberman) January 19, 2021
He leaves the only president never to hit 50% job approval at any point in his presidency and is the least popular president in Gallup's polling historyhttps://t.co/leRonGoGJ8
The Trump presidency was instructive in that it showed most every flaw in reach of powers that are bestowed upon a US president. We always knew that a POTUS is not a king or a dictator. But there are so many get out of jail free cards with the job that when we elect a corrupt one
— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) January 19, 2021
A president can potentially act like a king/dictator. It needs the cooperation of an equally corrupt party with enough #'s to override the other party's attempt to rein him in. #45 was the perfect storm of a morally bankrupt POTUS and enabling GOP. Such a combo may never reoccur.
— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) January 19, 2021
But we should assume that it can and will. Never again should we need to ponder idiotic questions like "can the president commit any/every crime under the sun and then self-pardon himself when done?". If that's what the founding father intended, they're not as smart as credited.
— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) January 19, 2021
Will Americans be foolish enough to elect someone as clearly corrupt and unqualified as Trump was to be POTUS ever again? I certainly would not put it past us. What we can do now is take measures to ensure that if/when there is a Trump II, whether it's a Republican or Democrat...
— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) January 19, 2021
the next go around it won't be so easy to run around the Oval acting like Napoleon Bonaparte. If Putin manages to find someone else who is in enough debt that he can be purchased, one who is able to charm enough people to be elected POTUS, we need to be ready to keep him in check
— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) January 19, 2021
So, Trump's presidency ended because?
— Chip Franklin InsideTheBeltway.com (@chipfranklin) January 17, 2021
Black people showed UP and showed out!
— Pam Keith, Esq. (@PamKeithFL) January 17, 2021
They delivered GA (twice), MI, WI & PA https://t.co/APbYgb4XFs
Not that I'm overly thrilled by this being the correct answer, because it means Trump becoming president in the first place & making a mess of this country rather than putting the clearly more qualified Hillary Clinton in the Oval Office can be pinned on poorly timed Black apathy
— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) January 17, 2021
And here’s a look back at the response to last summer’s Black Lives Matter protests.https://t.co/IYTfawbWe5
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) January 8, 2021
Black people never stormed the Capitol. Gay people never stormed the Capitol. Women never stormed the Capitol. Japanese Americans never stormed the Capitol. Native Americans never stormed the Capitol. Many groups with legit claims of unfair/unequal treatment throughout US history
— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) January 18, 2021
never stormed the Capitol because that is not how non-traitorous Americans strive to have their grievances addressed. You know who did storm the Capitol? A bunch of whining, traitorous, entitled bigots who should be thrown in jail along with anyone who encouraged or aided them.
— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) January 18, 2021
People stormed the Capitol b/c they didn't get what they wanted, which was for the man who by a huge margin is the worst POTUS ever to be gifted with a 2nd term he couldn't win. Anyone who speaks supportively of this agenda should be literally branded on the forehead as a traitor
— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) January 18, 2021
I see his name trending. Hopefully we finally have learned that peaceful protest of American policies is not lack of patriotism, but patriotism itself. If we haven't, his name will surely trend again. A Line A Day: Colin #Kaepernick sits this one out https://t.co/JVUusKTtnk
— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) January 19, 2021
“Thank you, but f*ck you for being there”
— David Begnaud (@DavidBegnaud) January 15, 2021
Watch every second of this DC metro officers interview with CNN. pic.twitter.com/zUOafxRdBU
Stop saying history will judge them. Judge them now. With judges.
— Joe Sondow (@JoeSondow) January 7, 2021
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As we arrive at the end of a fatal error, I look back at the start of a far more hopeful era. A Line A Day: 1-20-09 https://t.co/onps1QxGmF
— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) January 19, 2021
December 23, 2020
ALTERED LIVES - a short story
ALTERED LIVES
BY ROY L. PICKERING JR.
Richard took a look of appraisal at the decrepit motel before climbing its familiar stairwell. Most men walked this path to purchase illicit pleasures, provided either by drugs or sex. Richard sought neither, but was a regular visitor nonetheless. He hadn't planned for things to work out this way, but plenty in his life had worked out as it damn well pleased.
In the beginning he had come to satisfy his basest desires. But his conscience did not allow him to, despite the overwhelming urges of his flesh. That first time had been torture, infinite longing fighting helplessly against even more guilt. Torture turned out to be precisely what Richard needed. It was what brought him back over and over again.
"Hello, lover."
Richard smiled wryly in recognition of the irony laden nickname she had bestowed upon him. Linda's ordinarily placid green eyes danced to life. She touched Richard's cheek, a tender gesture other clients did not receive no matter how much they paid. He held his head down to avoid the poignancy of her gaze.
Lowering his eyes brought into focus Linda's voluptuously proportioned torso. It was as if she had been constructed in the heavens to his exact specifications, a woman built for making love. Many had used her at their disposal. Richard was no exception, and yet he was, for they had never been intimate in the carnal sense. He had been visiting her once a week for two years, paying for her time yet not allowing her to earn the money in her usual fashion.
"How's everything with you?" Richard asked.
"Same old freaks wanting the same old things."
Richard wondered if he was included in the statement. Frustration occasionally made her cruel. He deserved it, so tried not to complain. After all, he had come here to serve his penance.
"Everything the same at home?" Linda asked.
"Of course."
The routine began. Richard sat on the edge of the bed while Linda undressed slowly, undulating torturously. Each time they went through this, Richard was sure he would finally break, draw her close and let his body indulge in the fantasies his fevered mind had concocted. Once again though, he remained perfectly still, completely powerless to her whims. If she stepped forward he would be too weak to resist. But out of respect for the boundary he long ago set, she kept her distance. A single tear rolled down his cheek, as did a pair of hers.
"When will we stop this game?" Linda asked, already knowing the answer.
"Whenever you choose."
"That will be soon, you know."
"Yes, I know."
Eight months of forced abstinence is what first brought Richard into this then unfamiliar world. One night too many besides a woman who had grown cold to his touch. A woman half dead physically, fully deceased in her heart. Richard didn't blame her. How could he? He deserved every one of the poisoned darts shot from his wife's eyes, as well as the barbed wire fence protecting the region between her legs. Her feelings were more than warranted, for his crime was unpardonable.
He had known three drinks were his limit, but let a celebratory mood influence him to down five. Richard was nothing if not a practical man who pre-weighed the consequences of all actions. What a time for a lapse in standard procedure. To get behind the wheel in that state was unthinkable, but no thinking had been done. He still saw the oncoming headlights in his dreams, heard the screeching of tires, felt the impact of metal colliding and collapsing. The words of the doctor continued to echo in his head. Spinal injury; lower body paralyzed; never walk again.
There was something else he still saw regularly as well. The look of blame that masked his wife's face. Michelle did not need to say a word, and indeed never had. Her feelings weighed heavily and constantly in the air.
Sensation through lovemaking had not abandoned her, but Michelle declined him access nonetheless. His wife was no whore. She couldn't make love if she didn't mean it, and she simply didn't anymore. Her affection would remain on hold for as long as her legs were immobile. Forever.
"I'm starting to get old," Linda said. "This business is for the young. I still have my regulars but the others tend to pass me by more and more. Crow's feet and cellulite are no match for those tight thirteen year olds pretending to be eighteen, or those pretending the other way around."
"You're as stunning as ever."
"Not for long, lover. You better come and get some while it's still worth getting."
Richard didn't answer. No surprise there. He was dedicated to the self-inflicted torture payment plan he had devised for himself. Linda knew now that her best chance had been the first. When he threw himself down and cried out "I can't", she could have easily shown him that he could. But at the time it hadn't mattered. She had already been paid, so this man could fuck her, talk to her, or spill tears into the cracks on the floor. She had seen plenty of men cry before, and this one moved her no more than the others. She was a long way from being in love with him then.
He went on to tell her about the accident, Michelle's detachment, his isolation. Linda managed not to laugh at his theory that if he paid for it, if he kept emotions out of the picture, then it really wouldn't be cheating. Not in the true sense of the word. He hadn't been able to convince himself any more than he had her. Being intimate with another woman, hooker or not, would be one more crime against his undeserving wife, one more brick of guilt added to an already over-stacked load.
Richard learned something that day he would not soon forget. Denying himself pleasure which was right at hand amounted to inflicting punishment upon himself. Punishment was exactly what he felt he deserved, for what else could make the guilt tolerable? By not allowing himself what he most longed for, tender, sensual human contact, he was paying back what he owed. Michelle was his wife. He had made vows in a house of God to always be there for her. If because of his actions all she could be was miserable and tortured, then Richard would be so as well.
Thus it became a routine. Once a week Richard would allow Linda to give him a glimpse of what he desperately wanted, but no more. Since Michelle's body could no longer do what she wished it to, Richard would not allow his own the release it craved. A simple plan which enabled him to maintain sanity.
The plan was not flawless, however. As the amount of his appointments with Linda increased, so did their knowledge of each other, and their degree of emotional attachment. When she finally confessed her feelings, Richard realized what a mess he had created. He could have simply ceased the visits. Instead he examined his own heart and realized that he felt the same. He continued to see her, once a week on the same day at the same time, because love added to his lust made the act of refraining from her touch even more difficult. The worse he could make himself feel, the more demons he would be able to exorcise.
As for Linda's take, it would simply have to not matter. She was a professional, one used to being emotionally uninvolved with what was taking place. She should have been able to handle it, and after her initial declarations went unrequited, she did just that. Richard would one day make it up to her for the trouble he had brought into her previously uncomplicated life. But when it came to making amends, Michelle was first in line.
"Is your daughter still having problems with her husband?" Linda asked.
"Last I heard she was planning to get legally separated from him. Of course, next week they'll probably be going on a second honeymoon. It's so day to day with them. I want to tell her to dump him for good, but I think it's best if I stay out of it. I prefer not to be seen as the bad guy every time he convinces Susan that he's her hero."
"You should let me have a talk with her. I'd explain it to her real good how guys are scum. Not one of them is worth the hassle."
"You really believe there are no decent guys out there?"
"Those are the worst ones."
He wouldn't be surprised if Michelle knew where he went every Tuesday evening. His less than iron clad alibi was that his department's weekly meeting needed to be held after five due to conflicting schedules. A single phone call would have exposed his lie. There were times when Richard sensed he was being followed, though it may have merely been paranoia. If she did know, but was keeping her knowledge a secret, Richard could only guess at his wife's motivation. He was an expert at hurting women who loved him, not understanding them.
Even if she was aware of his itinerary, Michelle would certainly not suspect that the affair was one of the heart rather than body. She considered Richard, as herself, to be a person of refined tastes. A woman of the streets, particularly these sordid ones, could be seen as nothing more than a workhorse, a soulless body to be used at will. Exactly what he originally sought. But Richard had found that even more than his wife's touch, it was her company he yearned for. Their conversation had been reduced to hollow pleasantries, words treated like fragile china to be used sparingly, when necessary. Most of her communication was transmitted soundlessly, leaving Richard to translate the silence any way he saw fit. By not making love to Linda, there was no other way to spend the time but by getting to know her, and letting her know him. She had become a substitute for his wife in a way far more cementing than lover.
Richard may have originally saw Linda as beneath him, but by not allowing her to be so literally on the bed he did not more than sit on, she had risen to higher ranks in his sights. Maybe he was not as discriminating about the company he kept as he supposed. Maybe Linda was different from the other members of her profession. Perhaps people, regardless of their stations in life, were not as disparate as they believed themselves to be. Or maybe loneliness was the virus that the body fought against hardest, causing folks to cling to anyone within reach.
"Did you finish the book I loaned you?" Richard asked.
"Yes."
"And?"
"And you were right as usual, lover. Vonnegut is a genius. What do you have for me this week?"
"Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I think you'll like him very much."
"I like everybody, lover. It’s in my job description."
"Cut it out, Linda."
"Whatever you want. I've been paid already. The customer is always right."
"You know I hate it when you talk like that. You know that's not how I see you."
"And you know that I love you, but you don't care."
"I do care," Richard asserted.
"Not enough."
"Let's not do this again."
"Whatever you say, lover."
Linda was in one of her moods. From time to time the lunacy of their relationship would cause her to come out swinging. Because it was so unlike her dealings with the other men she came in contact with, she sometimes had difficulty comprehending that it was just as strictly defined. Only once had things gotten out of hand. Richard often thought of that day, for it brought out a side of him he hadn't known existed, and added to his growing list of regrets.
"Why don't you confront her?" Linda had asked that particular Tuesday. "Maybe she's waiting for you to initiate things. If she really doesn't love you anymore, then she'll want a divorce."
"That's the last thing I would do. If Michelle wants out, she'll let me know. And I'll give her everything she wants and more. But if she doesn't ask, I would never bring it up."
"You'd prefer to torment each other."
"It's her call. I owe it to her to do things as she wishes."
"You have no idea what she wishes," Linda said.
"That's her call as well."
"You lied to me, Richard."
"How's that?"
"You said you loved me, but you can't if you still love her."
"The heart's capacity for love and hate is infinite,” explained Richard as best he could. “You know that as well as I. I love my wife and I love you. If you're asking me to leave her for you, I can't do that."
"Because of what I am."
"Because of who I am, Linda. A man trying to make up for the pain he's caused, not trying to cause more."
"You are causing more, lover. You're hurting me."
"That's your call."
"Suppose she dies or something? Would we be together then?"
That was when he smacked her across the face and told her not to say such a thing again. She didn't lose her composure. Linda had endured far more physical abuse in her line of work than Richard had it in him to dish out. She just put her hand to her reddened cheek and clarified the question, explaining that she only wanted to know if she would be part of his life if his wife was out of it. Linda claimed to have no expectations, just idle curiosity. Richard expressed remorse over his behavior, then left their session early and her question unanswered. The next week he was back as usual. As requested, she never brought the topic up again.
Their meetings were not a secret to the entire world. Three months earlier, feeling an overwhelming need to confess, Richard confided in the person he trusted most - his brother. Burt had been sympathetic, saddened that Richard was in such tremendous pain and yet seeking even more. Richard told him to save his pity for Michelle and Linda, for they deserved much and he none. His recklessness had rendered his wife an invalid. His selfishness had given false hope to a woman who needed nothing less.
Burt then asked if he continued his visits in order to inflict a steady diet of punishment upon himself, or because bringing the sessions with Linda to an end would be even more painful than seeing her under the rules he had applied. Burt had always had a knack for posing questions that went straight to the heart.
"Your time is up, lover."
"I know. I know." Time was such a fickle thing, often available in abundance when a person wanted no more of it yet swiftly dissipating when one longed for it to remain.
An hour later Richard entered his home. He chatted briefly with Nora, the woman hired to cater to his wife's needs, then entered the den where Michelle awaited him. On her lap was a prettily wrapped gift box.
"Happy anniversary, Richard."
She had learned to be so cruel. Or perhaps her malice had always been there, waiting for the right opportunity to present itself. You learn a lot about a person in twenty-five years of marriage. But there was always room for surprises. Everyone was a stranger in certain ways, leading their own secret lives.
Three years ago to the day, the event that would permanently alter the shape of their lives had taken place. Michelle lost the use of her legs, Richard lost her love. But she wouldn't leave him. She would stay, taking no more pleasure from life, except for moments like these. Richard would play the part of human voodoo doll for however long his wife saw fit.
"Were we happy before all of this?" he asked. Since she had finally broached the subject, perhaps they could now address it and move past. She could choose to forgive, or to officially condemn him. Anything was preferable to the silence.
"Would we be happy if things somehow went back to the way they used to be? Can we ever be happy again knowing that they won't?"
Michelle dropped the gift box into a wastebasket. "Sorry, Richard. I didn't mean to be cruel. I just have too much time on my hands. Why don't you wash up for dinner."
Linda rolled her wheelchair out of the room, leaving Richard's questions unanswered. He promised himself never to bring them up again.
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November 15, 2020
THE DAY HAS ARRIVED
TO
THE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING ADVENTURES OF AVA APPELSAWSE
REVIEWS AT AMAZON/GOODREADS WELCOME AND MUCH APPRECIATED
REVIEW AT SHELVES OF STARLIGHT
Coloring pages based on the Ava Appelsawse Adventures will be emailed to anyone who requests them before December 25, 2020. To do so, simply save a screen grab of your proof of book purchase at Amazon and email it to MUDHouseBooks@gmailcom. In return, a PDF for the set of free coloring pages will be emailed to you.
Bonus #2, Kindle edition of MATTERS OF CONVENIENCE is available for FREE on 11/15 & 11/16
Just because, here's my latest booktube video for Roy's Book Reviews
October 9, 2020
The Absolutely Amazing Adventures of Ava Appelsawse
Way back in 2011 I wrote a post here entitled WHY I WRITE WHAT I WRITE. In that post I mentioned that "When I'm done editing my second novel I plan to move on to a series of kid books".
Time flies at an incredibly rapid rate, unlike the pace in which I write and edit. So even though my debut children's book was already in mind nine years ago, there was much work to be done before I could get to it that eventually ended up as the publication of Matters of Convenience. While my second novel was prominent on the front burner, Ava Appelsawse sat patiently on the back one. By 2017 I was able to move it up to primary area of focus and get the writing done. I alerted the world via this blog post that the first book in the series was written, I had gotten started on the second, and my wife had embarked on creating illustrations for Ava Appelsawse #1.
This is not the first collaborative artistic endeavor between Erin and I (she had created book covers for me in the past, and we even recorded a reading for an audio version of one of my short stories when we were dating), but it was definitely the most time and labor intensive project for her. We decided from the start that not only would Ava Appelsawse feature her illustration work, but we wanted to present it in full color because COLOR is what she does best.
And so here we now are in 2020, a year for the record books that has been tumultuous and challenging to say the least. The Coronavirus pandemic has significantly altered our lifestyles and forced us to discover new ways of being productive in our pursuits of success and happiness. Since writing is pandemic-proof, I have gotten started on my third novel. I also decided to take a shot at being a booktuber. On a sort of regular basis you can find reviews of books I have read at Roy's Book Reviews. And in addition to those videos, you'll also find ones where I read aloud children's books from my daughter's library while thumbing through the pages for your viewing pleasure.
As for Erin, she was able to make time in her busy schedule as an illustrator/fine artist/art teacher/mother to illustrate our very first children's book publication from front cover to back and the pages in between. The moment is now soon approaching for the debut of The Absolutely Amazing Adventures of Ava Appelsawse. Our scheduled publication date (exclusively at Amazon, at least for starters) is November, 15 2020. I can't wait for people to finally read it and share what they thought. I hope that grown folk like it, but this story is meant for young readers and those being read to by parents and other caregivers.
For a sneak peek at Ava Appelsawse, I encourage you to follow her Instagram page. Below is a sampling of what you will find there. As always - Happy Reading!
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View this post on InstagramDo you know where #Appelsawse is now? Have you been there too or is it still on your bucket list?
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September 6, 2020
IN THE NEWS: Stories Serious And Not So Much
93 percent of protests nonviolent. This is an important read from a sweeping report https://t.co/bQ0Xp0UiNv
— Margaret Sullivan (@Sulliview) September 4, 2020
More than 93% of BLM demonstrations have been peaceful, yet 42% of population believe that protestors are trying to incite violence or destroy property.
— Teymoor Nabili (@teymoornabili) September 4, 2020
"Research indicates that this disparity stems from political orientation and biased media framing"https://t.co/wsZWqwRf37
Weird story of the day: Jessica Krug, a white woman from Kansas, has been pretending to be Black for her entire professional career, and now she’s apologizing for it:
— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) September 3, 2020
"I am not a culture vulture. I am a culture leech."https://t.co/p2rBC30Tm8 pic.twitter.com/8PZCfA2YGA
I'm so pissed.
She has tenure for doing Black studies work at George Washington U. She once had the audacity to call *me* a fraud. And bc of her, others will be suspicious of folks who look like me. And of Black studies. And ppl who vouched for her.
July 7, 2020
CANCEL CULTURE
You've seen the phrase, you know what it means. Every week someone previously beloved is declared to be no longer worthy of our affection. Or every other day on rare slow weeks when Trump has not said/done anything especially idiotic to occupy our outrage (or defense mechanisms for anyone reading this who happens to be Team MAGA, but chances are that I've sufficiently alienated Trump fans with previous posts). On Twitter I typically need to scroll through a score of uninformative tweets until finally finding one that reveals what it is that a celebrity is being cancelled for. Not that these cancellations are unanimous of course. Sprinkled in with the condemnations are usually statements in defense of the famous person who has been put on cyber trial for some crime du jour. Depending on the seriousness of the matter at hand, being cancelled by the citizens of social media can have major real life repercussions. Jobs and/or endorsements are lost. Celebrities are demoted from B list to D list. Highly anticipated movie or album releases end up as flops. All because someone who was given the wonderful opportunity to say nothing at all on a subject and remain revered, instead chose to open their mouths and insert feet.
I've written here in the past about some noteworthy cancellations back when they didn't come at quite so fast and furious a pace. There was the time John Mayer said something real dumb, for example. Since then I've decided that Mayer is a genuine talent whose music I enjoy. Since I'm usually able to separate art from artist, I didn't proceed to remove John from my Spotify list of music listened to when I'm in the mood for something mellow. Another example is when Don Imus (who I wasn't a fan of and didn't grow to become one) insulted members of the Rutgers University women's basketball team. His career never recovered. Since then he has passed away. I won't dance on the man's grave. I think John Mayer was basically trying to be too clever for his own good and probably has some redeeming qualities to go along with his arrogance, but Imus isn't someone whose particular brand of hate I will miss.
If I tried to write a blog post about every one who did something to earn cancellation in 2020 I would have little time left over for anything else. There is a whole new category of celebrity now courtesy of YouTube and TikTok channels that have earned certain individuals millions of followers...and dollars. That means a whole bunch of new people who can do something on any given day to move from the internet's Nice List to the Naughty List. Many of these people I've never even heard of until the day they do something to get themselves cancelled. So rather than writing at length about each instance, I observe the blur of fumbling humanity and do my best to keep up...or to ignore. Depends on my mood. Once upon a time I proclaimed that the bar to be considered a celebrity had been lowered too much. Since then the bar has been discarded altogether and I no longer bother to complain about it.
As I see it there are two categories of behavior that get celebrities cancelled, and they are not on equal footing. The first category is saying something that fails the political correctness test, expression of opinion that insults or expresses intolerance towards a particular group of people. The second category is reprehensible action. Apologies may be expressed in both cases (some done so insincerely that a person earns an extra cancellation for their apology over what warranted the first one) but I'm far less likely to forgive somebody for doing something terrible than for saying something that ruffles my feathers. Words and Deeds do not each carry quite the same amount of weight on my scale. Mayer and Imus are examples of the first cancel category. In recent days J.K. Rowling has entered it. I have no idea what effect this will have on her book sales. But since she has already sold enough copies to become a billionaire, if she fails to sell any more Harry Potter tales her tax bracket is probably set in stone at this point.
Examples of people who ALLEGEDLY fall into the second category include Bill Cosby, Michael Jackson, Woody Allen, Chris Brown, and R. Kelly. For them, my rule about separating the art from the artist still applies. I cannot claim to have done a 100% boycott of any of these men regardless of the degree to which I believe they are guilty as hell. Does that mean I haven't actually cancelled them along with the rest of the internet? Does lack of true cancellation imply endorsement? Is endorsement enabling? I don't believe so, though I suppose it is a slippery slope. To cancel or not to cancel, that is the question. Does the answer even matter for those who somehow are cancel-proof? I'm certainly not the only one who still listens to music by R. Kelly or Chris Brown or Michael Jackson or a ton of other artists who ALLEGEDLY failed at some point to be upstanding citizens. I'm pretty sure people are still watching Woody Allen movies. Syndicated episodes of The Cosby Show were taken off the airwaves for a while (which punished a bunch of other actors from the show who did nothing wrong) but I believe it has since returned. Trump isn't the only one who improbably manages to weather every self conjured storm. Hell, O.J. Simpson joined Twitter well after being condemned by society and last time I checked (which was right before typing this sentence) he had over 942,000 followers on Twitter. Can someone with such an "achievement" legitimately be described as cancelled? Effective cancellation of superior athletes has been especially difficult for us to manage. Is this because we have such strong admiration for those with abilities that make them seem closer in nature to Superman than to the mundanity and erasability of Clark Kent? We may appreciate dispensing justice with juried verdicts of incarceration, but so too do we love a good rehabilitation and redemption story. DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK. Perhaps it's not just those we deeply love who can't be cancelled, but also those we really hate. Maybe the line between these two emotions is even thinner than we thought.
True stars remain celestial well after their shine has largely diminished. But that doesn't mean our cancel privileges are entirely powerless. I'm confident that we can permanently get some of these big shot YouTubers up out of here when they mess up, because (please read the conclusion of this post to the beat of a Janet Jackson song) We Are A Part Of The Cancel Nation .
May 29, 2020
Wide Spreading Ripples
These THUGS are dishonoring the memory of George Floyd, and I won’t let that happen. Just spoke to Governor Tim Walz and told him that the Military is with him all the way. Any difficulty and we will assume control but, when the looting starts, the shooting starts. Thank you! - Donald Trump
In case you’re not understanding, he *wants* a race war.— Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) May 29, 2020
Cause of death was murder. Just two syllables, nice and easy to pronounce and spell.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 30, 2020
He said he wanted to take us back to when America was great.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 30, 2020
Black people have every right to burn down a country they built for free— Solomon Georgio (@solomongeorgio) May 28, 2020
Somewhere in between privileged silence and burning it all down is progress. I've seen glimpses of it taking place, I've seen some of it be snatched back, and I shall see it resume, God willing.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 30, 2020
Would it have come off any better had no one ever said those words before? Exactly. And I know he didn't accidentally repeat the phrase verbatim because there isn't a poetic bone in his body.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 29, 2020
BREAKING NEWS: The White House is now on lock down due to protests outside, according to our @ScottThuman. https://t.co/se7DshIlwP pic.twitter.com/fi8IbRxyXD— ABC 7 News - WJLA (@ABC7News) May 29, 2020
JUST IN: #Atlanta protestors have begun vandalizing the #CNN sign, as some protestors have managed to get on top of the sign. #GeorgeFloydprotest https://t.co/McOhwPwtjr pic.twitter.com/OjifopB6Vw— CBS46 (@cbs46) May 29, 2020
pic.twitter.com/qVdr3Zv0S6— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 29, 2020
Murder is already illegal https://t.co/zzOR0tOoDt— Mike Jung (THE BOYS IN THE BACK ROW, 10/6/20) (@Mike_Jung) May 29, 2020
How about the other 3? If not a criminal offense for trained police officers to stand by idly as their colleague murders someone slowly then at bare minimum they should never again be employed as cops. https://t.co/koR9F89AWu— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 29, 2020
I guess racism was an essential business— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) May 29, 2020
"When the looting starts, the shooting starts."
--George Wallace, 1968
"When the looting starts, the shooting starts."
--Donald Trump, 2020— Robert Reich (@RBReich) May 29, 2020
Also, before white folks get the wrong idea and start assuming. Here is a video of the main ones who were destroying the police department. Let’s see how they will turn this on us. pic.twitter.com/jgKEUTNBMe— CalvinAndré (@DtxCalvinAndre) May 29, 2020
The same people who protested after being told what to do for one month are the same people baffled at black people rioting after being murdered for 400 years.— Sarah Hartshorne (@sarahhartshorne) May 29, 2020
Every conservative in America lecturing the world about rioting LOST THEIR SHIT over the PEACEFUL protests of this man. pic.twitter.com/6wmvuZT7rm— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) May 29, 2020
i’m actually extra annoyed that black people had to risk their lives in the middle of a pandemic to protest police brutality— dusty (@BRBRASTREISAND) May 28, 2020
Here’s video of an undercover cop in Minneapolis smashing windows while a member of the community tries to stop him https://t.co/OJKldIlcHD— Dylan (@dyllyp) May 28, 2020
The official White House account is tweeting this??? https://t.co/YHoZDskecy— Jim Acosta (@Acosta) May 29, 2020
And my comments are ablaze with “but they ARE thugs because they’re looting, and hurting innocent people.” And yet NO ONE is acknowledging the why. Because...you don’t have to. And don’t get me started on talk of innocent people.— Jason Reynolds (@JasonReynolds83) May 29, 2020
Ideally there would be riotless protesting because the burning and looting primarily does self-harm. But it was extremely avoidable had the justice system simply done its job in a timely manner.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 29, 2020
"thugs" is how the right says "ni***r" in 2020.— Oliver Willis (@owillis) May 29, 2020
Told y'all it was useless to "lessen the sting of the N-word by claiming it with er changed to a at the end". Bigots just picked a new word. Easy as pie.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 29, 2020
Hennepin Co. Attorney Freeman:
“That video is graphic and horrific and terrible and no person should do that. But my job in the end is to prove that he violated a criminal statute, and there's other evidence that does not support a criminal charge... I will not rush to justice.” pic.twitter.com/RZ9iYsvQ1W— NBC News (@NBCNews) May 28, 2020
"Other evidence" my ass. If you have cause to arrest a guy then arrest. But there is no reason for it to be lethal, especially when cops outnumber an unarmed man.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 29, 2020
Injustice is often followed by unrest. Callous disregard of human life may be echoed by reckless destruction of property. Nothing changes but the date on the calendar.
A Line A Day: Murders and Riots and Misdemeanors https://t.co/X27arE7oL3— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 28, 2020
I dont care about the Target and Autozone being burned down, but these fools burned down a 5 story affordable housing development. Do y’all khow how expensive rent is in Minneapolis!? That development was meant to be homes for low income people!!! Why would you set fire to it!? https://t.co/UNbLM4q6rD— Reesespieces
May 25, 2020
Joe "Britney" Biden - Oops he did it again
“If you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black.”Oh Joe!
Joe Biden’s comments during interview with Charlamagne tha God has provoked some reactions: https://t.co/MkYdhJJYXspic.twitter.com/YQ0FaxUW43— Complex (@Complex) May 22, 2020
pic.twitter.com/KhtEjtEgOt— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 25, 2020
At one point I almost thought that Trump had virtually zero shot to be elected for a 2nd term but never underestimate the ability of people to intentionally sabotage their own well being.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 23, 2020
There are enough Americans who are foolish enough to keep Trump in office, but it's not only the obvious ones running around with MAGA hats. It's also whites who don't broadcast their racism but do stand by it. It's also blacks who think their votes or lack of them won't matter.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 23, 2020
SAME EXACT THING https://t.co/6CNOEwe4L5— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 23, 2020
https://t.co/pRE0uxA67l pic.twitter.com/TgFOeAOKks— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 23, 2020
But if you are a person of any race who professes loyalty to the Trump led version of the GOP, I question your morality as well as your sanity. Nothing personal about it. What I won't question is your racial identity which simply is whatever it is.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 23, 2020
https://t.co/kmyhyWXFYI pic.twitter.com/64Vl8WXfEW— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 23, 2020
Joe Biden said a thing that he apologized for like later the same day. We should criticize the hell out of him relentlessly while continuing to give Trump a free pass for things like (look out window at state of nation) and then give Trump another 4 years. Also, Hillary's email.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 23, 2020
Remember when the Democrats invented slavery and then Jim Crow and then gave us Obama simply as a way to grease the wheels for arrival of Trump? https://t.co/hsuvSYqiAF— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 23, 2020
Black people should definitely join the Republican party which is nothing but sunshine and milkshakes and puppies and MLK church fans and Malcolm X starter caps. Plus the GOP gave us hip hop & Beyonce. Read the Bible if you don't believe me. It's all there in the third Testament.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 23, 2020
Falling in line unquestioningly is the recipe for Nazism. Looking for love in all the wrong places is the recipe for a sad ass country song. https://t.co/Sccl9tETzl— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 22, 2020
Which would you rather have?— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 22, 2020
Breaking: Joe Biden will probably say something else dumb between now and November. He'll also be falsely and not credibly accused of some unpleasant stuff. Also breaking: It's Joe or Trump and Trump is trash and you know this plain as day.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 23, 2020
“Joe Biden said a thing, so I’ll vote for Trump, now.”
- somebody who was voting for Trump anyway.— Remotely Essential (@VtheEsquire) May 22, 2020
Biden tried to act cooler/woker than he actually is in light of demographics of audience for Charlemagne. Just be yourself, Joe. No need to call anyone Karen or claim you've been invited to "the picnic". You've been around long enough that we know who you are & who you ain't.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 22, 2020
If #JoeBidenIsARacist then the Republicans wouldn't be attacking him. They'd throw him a parade.— JRehling (@JRehling) May 22, 2020
NEW: Former VP Joe Biden just dialed into a U.S. Black Chamber call and addressed his remarks to Charlamagne tha God. Biden said, "I shouldn't have been such a wise guy. I shouldn't have been so cavalier...I have never, ever taken the African American community for granted."— Yamiche Alcindor (@Yamiche) May 22, 2020
Biden's gaffe may have improved odds that he selects a black woman to be VP. So there's that. Maybe it is fate at work— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 23, 2020
Biden shouldn't need to pick a black VP to earn the black vote. He's a Dem. He was Obama's VP. He isn't Trump. He could pick a box of nails for VP and would still get my vote. But there are people somehow still on the fence that he's aiming to please rather than alienate.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 21, 2020
I personally think it would be extra cool if Biden picked Kamala Harris or Stacey Abrams to be his running mate. But I'm not the one Joe needs to win over as he has my vote regardless of who he picks for VP.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 21, 2020
System was not set up to protect us in case a massively corrupt person protected by a party of enablers managed to be elected POTUS. In hindsight this should have been avoidable, but we put too much faith in idea that Americans would vote responsibly.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 17, 2020
Once we get our country back we need to firm up rules, regulations, guidelines into laws to make sure we never allow another Trump. Not a Republican Trump or a Democrat Trump or an Independent Trump. We'll have future normal incompetent presidents but can't afford another Trump.— Roy L. Pickering Jr. (@AuthorofPatches) May 14, 2020
pic.twitter.com/SvaVasALjX—
