Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 36

Still writing...

Well...as of now Home Not Home is up to 103,750 words. While doing the formatting I had an idea and I'm incorporating it, so it's still changing. But this idea helps with the serendipity of what happens in the book. It boils down to Brendan thinking this:

Jeremy once told me a story about the six nations living in Canaan. The land was rich and arable. Water abounded. So far as we knew, they existed in harmony with the world and their neighbors. We’ve found no stories to the contrary.

But then the Hebrews showed up and asked them to move so they could have the land. Claimed God had given it to them.

Of course, the six nations said, "No. We were here, first."

The Hebrews responded, "Leave or be destroyed." Said the six nations were not worthy of the earth they tilled.

The six nations were offended by such a claim and refused to depart. So the Hebrews came roaring in and each nation was destroyed, in turn. Annihilated to the point of genocide...and everything they had was lost. 

Everything. 

A strong group of people had decided they wanted something that wasn't theirs and didn’t care who said otherwise. A bit like in Da’s story with the Tuatha de Danaan and the Ui Bruiuns. And definitely what the British had done in Ireland and India, Europe did with the indigenous nations and Africa, and Russia did with Eastern Europe. And so it continues to this day.

Some would call this attitude bleak and claim it lacked understanding of man’s capacity for great love and empathy. But in truth, man does not want to be different from the beasts, not really. The hope for such illusions is only in his head, not his heart, and one can achieve nothing without the other. It has always been so and always will be so, and all the belief in the world means little in the face of it. To claim mankind is a creature built of anything but animalistic selfishness is to fly in the face of reality.

I'm also still casting around for a cover image for the book. Crap, it would have been so much better if I'd been able to get a mainstream publisher to take the book on. Maybe I can still work that, once all three are available.

Cover needed.

I've been digging through Shutterstock for a potential cover for HNH...and my ideas are just not working. I was thinking of this guy in front of a burnt out background but that seems kind of...nothing. And he looks Latino, not Irish.

I do still like the image I first came up with, of the young man between two buildings, but it seems no one ever took the photo so I can give no attribution nor license it from them. And I'm leery of doing that.

When I rewrote The Playboy of the Western World into a western, I called it The King of the Cowboys. Just a title, right? You can't copyright a title. No problem there.

Except...when I won Best Screenplay at the Houston International Film Festival, Roy Rogers' estate learned of it and let me know it had been trademarked for him, and him alone. So I was forced to change it to The Cowboy King of Texas.

Not nearly as good.

I don't want a repeat.

Political rant, so be warned...MAGAts espouse the policy of abuse...

This came up on my Tumblr feed, and I am livid.

This cunt would sooner have a child die than be who she or he wants to be.

socialistexan said:

People like this are abusers are and the ones who should be investigated and have their children taken away, not LGBTQ parents. This is neglect, this is open contempt for the life of your child.

If you can't handle the idea that your child will be LGBTQ, you will openly abuse them if they are, if you would not accept and love them for who they are no matter what, and you allow them to die through neglect then you should never have children. Period.

 quasi-normalcy

Loving "The Child" but hating your actual children

 tally-bot-official-deactivated2

but like. they haven't EVER been hiding it. if you think they've been hiding it: you haven't been near them. most conservatives are VOCALLY pro-abuse. sometimes without prompting.

the abuse itself is hidden, allowed, and supported by the policies and norms that conservatives support:

consider that the bounds of a family house and the structure of a nuclear family keeps abuse out of public sight. away from witnesses.

consider that homeschooling and private schooling both can effectively keep kids away from people who could help identify and report abuse

consider that the cops and CYS don't care about abuse and often only check houses for signs of poverty. they often tell kids they're lying. the cops and CYS often threaten the kids. often don't interview the kids alone, even though they're supposed to. they often don't check for bruises. they often don't care if bruises are visible. they often use racial profiling instead of investigating.

consider that cops are statistically WAY more likely than average to be domestic abusers and child abusers in the first place.

consider that child abuse laws are dangerously lax in most states. in PA, the definitions of terms like "mental injury", "endanger", and "bodily injury" are too poorly defined to be effectively used. this means that it's legal to non-lethally kick, bite, throw, burn, stab or cut a child in PA within certain VERY VAGUE, POORLY DEFINED, AND HARD TO PROVE conditions.

consider that cops don't even KNOW the law, let alone care about enforcing it. I've had cops say to my face that my dad was allowed to put me in a choke-hold which interfered with my breathing even though the law EXPLICITLY SAYS THAT'S CHILD ABUSE IN PA.

consider that parents control their child's ability access to medical services, a right that conservatives have fought to uphold. if, for instance, my dad perhaps fractured my rib, he could prevent me from getting an x-ray. if he did that, he could effectively get away with it. just hypothetically.

consider that all these factors compound with other marginalization. police are more likely to take a nonwhite kid than a white kid even though rates of abuse are comparable. police are more likely to take a poor kid than a rich kid even though rates of abuse are comparable. police are more likely to say a trans kid or a "stubborn" kid or a gay kid are lying. and police are ALREADY so bad on these fronts.

consider that the most violent members of a household are often given the full power over that household.

consider that conservatives disapprove of divorce. this encourages worse household situations and removes ways to get out.

consider that they also disapprove of anything that would lighten the workload of childrearing. this results in further stressors. and consider that they encourage making the most babies possible as fast as possible. more stressors.

consider that conservatives consistently oppose any and all laws limiting the legal powers of parents over their children.

consider that conservatives oppose any and all efforts to make emancipation easier or even possible.

consider that conservatives oppose a drop in the voting age. they often express a wish for it to get higher.

consider that their politics rely on extended control and indoctrination to turn kids conservative. they want more time to indoctrinate.

consider that their love of power originated from a yearning for power when they themselves were powerless. consider that they want to instill that same yearning in their kids to propagate their beliefs. Abuse, Indoctrination, and Hierarchy. these are the THREE MOST IMPORTANT ways to uphold cultural authoritarianism.

CONSERVATISM IS THE POLITICS OF ABUSERS.

plain and simple

 mensexyhairy

She should NOT be allowed to have any children ugly motherfuker

 kmscb

I have nothing to add to this except that woman is a beast. God damn people like her.

Dear God, how I hate Republicans and MAGAts like this.

Not a good day...

I got a couple vaccines, yesterday afternoon -- Covid and Flu. And I have felt like crap all day. Achy. Tired. Unfocused. I slept late and then took an hour and a half nap, and that seems to help the most. But it messes me up when I'm trying to work.

My eyes also hurt, so I took off my glasses and made muffins and pancakes for dinner. I do feel better, but still on the edge. 

I did manage to go through Home Not Home to check up on the spellings of certain names. Like for Mrs. Kieffer, who I wrote as Keiffer, twice. And O'Cainann, which I entered as O'Cannain once. A couple of others, too, that I noted as I went through with Word Editor.

I don't want to do any more because I sent it off to my editor for their feedback, and I don't want to have to deal with corrections that will need correcting once I get her notes back.

So a lot of the day was piddly shit. Political arguments on Twitter. Talking to friends on Facebook. Wrapping myself in a big, black piece of felt cloth and cocooning. And feeling sorry for myself.

I think I will format what I've got into printable parameters, so I can send it in for copyright and an LCCN. I may also send it to BookLife for a review. It's close to what I want it to be, I think.

I'm leery of doing Kirkus, again, after what happened with New World For Old. But we'll see.

Synopsis...

Does this work as a synopsis for Home Not Home? Is it extensive enough? Not too short?

----------

April 1981

The hunger strike has been underway for a month and Northern Ireland is in turmoil. Brendan would avoid it all, but he learns his mother is terminally ill and is told she wants to see him. So he returns to Derry under an assumed name only to find that she is actually still antagonistic to him. 

His younger sister, Maeve, is caring for her while also working for peace; his younger brother, Rhuari, is married and keeping himself as much out of the back and forth with the Army, as possible; while his youngest brother, Kieran, despises him and is in gleeful full-on confrontation with the Brits and RUC. What is worse, his older brother, Eamonn, is in the Maze prison, and Ma is pushing for him to add his name to the growing list of hunger strikers.

Brendan stays to help Maeve, who is stretched to her limit, while trying to keep as low a profile as possible. But his mother’s ramblings while under the effect of Percocet make him want to learn more about her and his father, leading him to a new possibility as to why the man was murdered.

He also learns Joanna might still be alive but no one will verify it or help him find out for himself.

Then Bobby Sands dies. Derry erupts in fury, and Brendan finds himself caught up in the chaos of the times as the British Army comes looking for him.

Re-centering...

Well...the trips to the UK and to San Antonio have thrown my blood sugar readings completely out of whack, the last few weeks. I'm hitting 132 to 224 to 194 to 210, both before breakfast and 2 hours after dinner. When I want them to be under 130 in the morning and 180 at night.

I know that chili dog didn't help, but I needed it to be my emotional support food after getting this draft of APoS-HNH done. I guess I'll have to spend a week eating nothing but salads to regroup.

I do like the Fuji Apple salad at Panera. I just have them substitute deli turkey for its chicken. And I brought home lettuce and tomatoes for my own, along with some serious balsamic vinegar to mix with olive oil. I just don't wanna have to become a vegan. I like cheese and milk to damn much.

Okay...sensing a bit of my whine-ery attitude firing up...and I'm going to deflect some of it by reminding myself I finished another draft of the last volume of my big novel and I'm fucking proud of it. I think the ending I found works ten times better than the one I had. No matter what happens, now, I'll have honored Brendan's life as best I can.

And will make it even cleaner and more meaningful in this next pass.

Closing in...

I worked up a preliminary idea of how APoS-HNH would work out in hardcover form, and should be 298-300 pages at $32.50, like the other two. That's a lot to pay for an unknown author, but if I charge less than that I'm paying for someone to buy it.

My official date for publication is December 24th, for both the physical copy and ebook...and it actually does look as if I will achieve that. Hard to believe. Sometimes I even surprise myself.

Then the beginning of the year I'll start shifting the set into paperback at a lower price. For that, I'll need to buy new ISBNs and prep new covers. 

I went ahead and sent it off to be edited and proofed and corrected. Because I have absolutely no idea if it works or what needs to be done to improve it. My hope is this will show me the light. Next is getting it copyrighted and applying for an LCCN.

Today, I celebrated by getting some groceries then having a chili-dog at Ted's, a local chain. They have onion rings that are like crack, totally addictive. This isn't my full celebration. For that, I'm planning a filet mignon dinner at a steak house like Russell's or even driving over to Toronto to dine at Ruth's Chris. I will fucking deserve it.

All of a sudden jobs are popping up for me to assist with. Philadelphia. Outside Washington DC (a monstrous one). San Francisco. Phoenix, if I understand it right. Lots of things to keep me busy and take me away from APoS...which might be a good thing.

No need to tinker before I've got feedback.

Table of contents!!

Headed back from San Antonio and my nephew's wedding. It was lovely, even though the ceremony was outside and it was, officially, 97 degrees. Fortunately, the reception hall was nicely air conditioned. Otherwise, this cake would have melted.

I was working on posting an update on HNH at Baltimore's Airport when my flight to Buffalo started boarding. But yeah, a full table of contents with headings. And I split a couple of chapters that were too big so wound up with 36 of them.

Now at home, where it's in the 40s, at the moment. Jesus...San Antonio has always been on the hot side, but 95+ degree heat, in October? Not good.

Next comes linking the chapter headings to the ToC for it to be ready in ebook formatting. I'm not publishing it, yet. I need it to be proofed and edited, first, and doing it in this different format helps me see errors and omissions more clearly.

But here's what I've got:

Table of Contents 
Preparations 
Questions Unanswered 
Shadow Plans 
Arrival 
Déjà Vu 
Ghosting 
First Revelations 
Backgrounding 
Hopes 
Chaos Defined 
Reconfigured 
Stories Told 
Redirected 
Chinas, Again? 
Foraging for Details 
Expanding Consciousness 
Nevermore 
The Long Drive 
The Maze 
More Details 
Information 
Discovery 
Murderous 
Another Ghost 
On the Run 
Return to the Past of Today 
Passages 
The Devil’s Own 
No More Lies 
A Question 
One Word 
Hope 
Party Time 
Stars 
Compilation 
The Final Ghost

Tablie of contents!!

Headed back from San Antonio and my nephew's wedding. It was lovely, even though the ceremony was outside and it was, officially, 97 degrees. Fortunately, the reception hall was nicely air conditioned. Otherwise, this cake would have melted.

I was working on posting an update on HNH at Baltimore's Airport when my flight to Buffalo started boarding. But yeah, a full table of contents with headings. And I split a couple of chapters that were too big so wound up with 36 of them.

Now at home, where it's in the 40s, at the moment. Jesus...San Antonio has always been on the hot side, but 95+ degree heat, in October? Not good.

Next comes linking the chapter headings to the ToC for it to be ready in ebook formatting. I'm not publishing it, yet. I need it to be proofed and edited, first, and doing it in this different format helps me see errors and omissions more clearly.

But here's what I've got:

Table of Contents 
Preparations 
Questions Unanswered 
Shadow Plans 
Arrival 
Déjà Vu 
Ghosting 
First Revelations 
Backgrounding 
Hopes 
Chaos Defined 
Reconfigured 
Stories Told 
Redirected 
Chinas, Again? 
Foraging for Details 
Expanding Consciousness 
Nevermore 
The Long Drive 
The Maze 
More Details 
Information 
Discovery 
Murderous 
Another Ghost 
On the Run 
Return to the Past of Today 
Passages 
The Devil’s Own 
No More Lies 
A Question 
One Word 
Hope 
Party Time 
Stars 
Compilation 
The Final Ghost

96 degrees in the shade...

Outdoor wedding. Making sure I got some tree between me and that sun. Thinking an evening where it's only 85 is nice and pleasant. God, I do NOT miss Texas. But this is the venue, and now everyone's wed and I can go home, having done my duty.

I am happy I came. It was a nice wedding. The bride is sweet and it went off without any noticeable hitch; the venue's people made sure of that. I've never seen one run so well.

And, happily, the groom did not smash cake into the bride's face as a joke. I've always thought of that as the first step into becoming a controlling freak. I know of one bride who went out and got an annulment when the groom did that to her in direct contradiction to her expressed wishes.

I left about 7pm but did nothing on HNH because the heat wiped me out. Then tomorrow the family's meeting for lunch before I head for the airport, so won't get anything done till I'm on the plane. But that's fine. I'm on the downhill side of this book and feeling a lot more relaxed about it than I have been, all year.

Of course, it didn't hurt the DJ handling the event was gorgeous, even more-so when he was getting people into line-dancing to a particular song he'd put up.