Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 230
June 5, 2015
Shake, rattle, roll, and get the hell back up...
Not much else you can do when your brain locks down, as mine did over the last couple days. It's a writer's ailment -- fear coupled with confusion laced with a touch of paranoia and served with the conviction you have no idea what you're doing. Took me till now to even start getting past it, so...nothing's been done on OT except a lot of gnashing of teeth and staring into space.
That said, I think I can get back to proofing my current draft...and correcting inconsistencies while clarifying illusory thoughts and intentions. I hope. I have the feeling I'll be doing a fair amount of rewriting once I get feedback on this story. I know what I'm aiming for...I think...but I don't know if I'm achieving it, and that is what started the whole crash and burn.
I wonder if part of my problem is the focus of my stories is the emotional connection between people and how sometimes that gets abused. And also proves to be a saving grace and stronger than anything in the universe. Sometimes I get lost in that so the story seems to meander, to its detriment. Or else, it fails to do what others think it should.
When I wrote The Alice 65 as a script and asked some friends to read it, one made the comment that she sat down expecting the story to be about a bookish guy going on a search for this rare book and becoming a hero in the process. Indiana Jones as a Librarian. And she was disappointed when it didn't do that...so couldn't give me any serious feedback. To me, it was never about that; what drove the story in my mind was the growing emotional connection between Adam and Casey, even as he's caught in a world that's down the rabbit hole, to him. How she softens and shifts into human mode as he opens up and lets go of past events that haunt him. Maybe that was a mistake, but that's what made me want to write the story.
In OT, it's about Jake coming to terms with things he's done in the past and getting to where he's strong enough to stand on his own two feet, with Antony as his partner and not just his support. Even thought Antony's fighting him every step of the way. I don't know if I achieve that, and my uncertainty overwhelmed me. Which made me afraid to even think about letting people read it till I'd rewritten it a dozen more times.
It's the same fear that keeps me from returning to Place of Safety. The knowledge that I don't know that much about Derry society between 1966 and 1981 so I'd be setting myself up for failure...again. Why bother if all you're going to do is screw it up? Problem is, I have the other side of that writer's ailment -- the need to tell the story...and that, in and of itself, is cause for madness.
Color me chaos, right now.
That said, I think I can get back to proofing my current draft...and correcting inconsistencies while clarifying illusory thoughts and intentions. I hope. I have the feeling I'll be doing a fair amount of rewriting once I get feedback on this story. I know what I'm aiming for...I think...but I don't know if I'm achieving it, and that is what started the whole crash and burn.
I wonder if part of my problem is the focus of my stories is the emotional connection between people and how sometimes that gets abused. And also proves to be a saving grace and stronger than anything in the universe. Sometimes I get lost in that so the story seems to meander, to its detriment. Or else, it fails to do what others think it should.
When I wrote The Alice 65 as a script and asked some friends to read it, one made the comment that she sat down expecting the story to be about a bookish guy going on a search for this rare book and becoming a hero in the process. Indiana Jones as a Librarian. And she was disappointed when it didn't do that...so couldn't give me any serious feedback. To me, it was never about that; what drove the story in my mind was the growing emotional connection between Adam and Casey, even as he's caught in a world that's down the rabbit hole, to him. How she softens and shifts into human mode as he opens up and lets go of past events that haunt him. Maybe that was a mistake, but that's what made me want to write the story.
In OT, it's about Jake coming to terms with things he's done in the past and getting to where he's strong enough to stand on his own two feet, with Antony as his partner and not just his support. Even thought Antony's fighting him every step of the way. I don't know if I achieve that, and my uncertainty overwhelmed me. Which made me afraid to even think about letting people read it till I'd rewritten it a dozen more times.
It's the same fear that keeps me from returning to Place of Safety. The knowledge that I don't know that much about Derry society between 1966 and 1981 so I'd be setting myself up for failure...again. Why bother if all you're going to do is screw it up? Problem is, I have the other side of that writer's ailment -- the need to tell the story...and that, in and of itself, is cause for madness.
Color me chaos, right now.
June 3, 2015
Something from Adam...
As in Adam Alexander Aloysius Verlain, of The Alice '65. He's begun reposting on his facebook page.
____________________
I finally found the photograph of Paul Pelliot sitting amongst a trove of manuscripts he discovered in China, in 1908. They were near the Silk Road oasis of Dunhuang and had been walled up in a cave for centuries. He'd learned of the possibility of this treasure thanks to Aurel Stein's visit to the same area.
Stein had found some of the manuscripts but had no awareness of their extreme value, nor was he allowed to peruse the majority of them, whereas Pelliot was fluent in Mandarin and suspected they held works from prior to the 11th Century. He needed special permission to breach the wall, but there he found tens of thousands of scrolls dating back to as early as the 5th Century. They dealt with Buddhism, Manichaeism, and Daoism, but also a version of Christianity and Judaism. Some of them were in the old Uyghur language as well as Hebrew and Sanskrit.
He bought many of these priceless items for the equivalent of about 8,000 GBP, today, and they are still being studied at the Bibliothèque nationale de France as well as The British Library and the National Library of China.____________________________________________
Adam is having fun, again...
____________________
I finally found the photograph of Paul Pelliot sitting amongst a trove of manuscripts he discovered in China, in 1908. They were near the Silk Road oasis of Dunhuang and had been walled up in a cave for centuries. He'd learned of the possibility of this treasure thanks to Aurel Stein's visit to the same area.
Stein had found some of the manuscripts but had no awareness of their extreme value, nor was he allowed to peruse the majority of them, whereas Pelliot was fluent in Mandarin and suspected they held works from prior to the 11th Century. He needed special permission to breach the wall, but there he found tens of thousands of scrolls dating back to as early as the 5th Century. They dealt with Buddhism, Manichaeism, and Daoism, but also a version of Christianity and Judaism. Some of them were in the old Uyghur language as well as Hebrew and Sanskrit.He bought many of these priceless items for the equivalent of about 8,000 GBP, today, and they are still being studied at the Bibliothèque nationale de France as well as The British Library and the National Library of China.____________________________________________
Adam is having fun, again...
June 2, 2015
Summer's heating up...
Now I've got a possible job in Florida, for a few days, later this month. I was thinking of taking some time off in August, even though I can't afford it, because I need some space to catch up with myself. I won't be unhappy if I wind up working; it'd be a lot better for my finances. But I'll need to take at least a few days to myself. Maybe around Labor Day, I dunno. I'm one of those people who doesn't get paid for vacation time.
When I was at Heritage, I was able to amass 3 weeks paid vacation and use it all at one time, in the Spring of 2006. Spent most of that time in Ireland, including an rental car for 10 days. Driving on the right wasn't much trouble at all. I'd love to do that, again...
Now that I'm getting closer to a final draft of OT, I'm feeling the need to plan my next project...which is dumb, because half the time what I decide to work on winds up being put aside while I do something else. But now...now I've got an open space in my brain and my other works are trying to take it over.
I found this image on Tumbler and like it so much, I may see if I can do something with it in the cover for OT. It's the animal spirit of the book.
Maybe of me...
When I was at Heritage, I was able to amass 3 weeks paid vacation and use it all at one time, in the Spring of 2006. Spent most of that time in Ireland, including an rental car for 10 days. Driving on the right wasn't much trouble at all. I'd love to do that, again...
Now that I'm getting closer to a final draft of OT, I'm feeling the need to plan my next project...which is dumb, because half the time what I decide to work on winds up being put aside while I do something else. But now...now I've got an open space in my brain and my other works are trying to take it over.
I found this image on Tumbler and like it so much, I may see if I can do something with it in the cover for OT. It's the animal spirit of the book.Maybe of me...
June 1, 2015
Sunday, Sunday...
I printed out OT -- double-sided -- at work and now will go through it, one last time, to make it as close to complete as I can, right now. I chopped out one entire subplot because it was getting in the way. And I'm wondering if the last chapter is too brutal a note to have so close to the end. I softened it with a memory and set it up a bit more in the bulk of the book...but I guess I'll find out.
First lesson learned from this project? Do NOT write a mystery unless you have it worked out, already. Too damn many people will want to jump in and say, "Make me the killer!" While others will say, "That's ludicrous. Get a grip and make it me., idiot." Which makes it hard to figure out the right way to go.
I finally just simplified it...but even my simplification is probably too complex to work. Either I've done too much explaining or not enough...or both. You never know. I remember reading The Name of the Rose years and years ago and getting lost in it, sometimes. The life it built was fascinating enough for me to keep reading, but I'm still not sure I understand or accept the revelation of the mystery.
Maybe I should reread it.
First lesson learned from this project? Do NOT write a mystery unless you have it worked out, already. Too damn many people will want to jump in and say, "Make me the killer!" While others will say, "That's ludicrous. Get a grip and make it me., idiot." Which makes it hard to figure out the right way to go.
I finally just simplified it...but even my simplification is probably too complex to work. Either I've done too much explaining or not enough...or both. You never know. I remember reading The Name of the Rose years and years ago and getting lost in it, sometimes. The life it built was fascinating enough for me to keep reading, but I'm still not sure I understand or accept the revelation of the mystery.
Maybe I should reread it.
May 31, 2015
Finally, another draft done...
The Vanishing of Owen Taylor is now 543 pages long. And the ending...it alternates between brutal and tender in ways I hope work. You never really know. I want to do one more pass through it to smooth out some things I added. Then I'm ready to get reactions.
I already have some people lined up. Sort-of strangers who will be honest. Members of GoodReads. People who've liked my writing in the past. All I can do is hand it out and see what triggers what.
It's rained all day, so that helped keep me in. I used the building laundromat to do some clothes, even though the dryer isn't all that great. I kept the loads light -- just what I had to have -- and that worked okay.
I'm reading a lovely book called This Is Not The End of the Book;, which is a conversation between Umberto Eco, Jean-Clude Carriere, and Jean-Philippe de Tonnac. Eco wrote The Name of the Rose; Carriere is a playwright and screenwriter; de Tonnac is a writer and editor. It's a discussion about the future of the book and knowledge, in general, and is fascinating to follow.
So far my favorite bit is a story told by Carriere about a man whose father was a book collector. The son was the only one in the family to see the value of the books, so when his father died, he told his brothers and sisters they could have the rest of the estate if they'd just let him keep the library. They happily agreed. So he took the books away...and sold them to book dealers throughout Europe. Apparently, he lived off that for years, and his siblings never knew the true value of those old books.
This comes in very handy for The Alice '65 and Adam's way of viewing the world. I guess that's getting close to being ready to write. Along with half a dozen other stories in my head.
I need to win the lottery so I can stop working and start treating my writing seriously.
I already have some people lined up. Sort-of strangers who will be honest. Members of GoodReads. People who've liked my writing in the past. All I can do is hand it out and see what triggers what.
It's rained all day, so that helped keep me in. I used the building laundromat to do some clothes, even though the dryer isn't all that great. I kept the loads light -- just what I had to have -- and that worked okay.
I'm reading a lovely book called This Is Not The End of the Book;, which is a conversation between Umberto Eco, Jean-Clude Carriere, and Jean-Philippe de Tonnac. Eco wrote The Name of the Rose; Carriere is a playwright and screenwriter; de Tonnac is a writer and editor. It's a discussion about the future of the book and knowledge, in general, and is fascinating to follow.
So far my favorite bit is a story told by Carriere about a man whose father was a book collector. The son was the only one in the family to see the value of the books, so when his father died, he told his brothers and sisters they could have the rest of the estate if they'd just let him keep the library. They happily agreed. So he took the books away...and sold them to book dealers throughout Europe. Apparently, he lived off that for years, and his siblings never knew the true value of those old books.
This comes in very handy for The Alice '65 and Adam's way of viewing the world. I guess that's getting close to being ready to write. Along with half a dozen other stories in my head.
I need to win the lottery so I can stop working and start treating my writing seriously.
May 30, 2015
Scorched Earth
That's the title of the chapter I've spent the last 2 days on, working and reworking and shifting and and rearranging and slamming my head against walls and floors and computer screens...but I think it's finally making sense and is not too scattered. I don't want the usual explanation bit, like when Hercule Poirot lays out all the clues and explains what they mean. Instead, I've got Jake junked up and out of control and referencing movie musicals and cult films as he lays it out. The reader will have to work a little, but it should be clear.
For example, in Cabaret there's a song, If You Could See Her Through My Eyes. So when Jake finally reveals he knows who the killer is, he does it by singing to the lead-in melody for that:
"I know what you're thinkiiiiiiiing.You wonder why I chose youuuuuuu,Out of all the suspects in Palm Spriiiiiiiiiiings.It's 'cause I know you did it.But how'd I know you did it?'Cause the biggest fuckin' cluuuuuuuue,Came the day that I met youuuuuu."
I may have made it too goofy; I don't know. I'm enjoying it, as is Jake. And there's a fun little twist on the end of the chapter that should keep things embroiled in suspense.
Looks like The Lyons' Den may be going out of print. The publisher's hinting they want to do it. Sales are way, way down. Not that it was ever a huge seller, but it was the first book I made money on. I suppose that means I could come out with a second edition, self-published...and with a better cover. I'll have to think about it. I've got this beastie to finish, first, and I'm so broke I'll have trouble getting it done. I may see if I can get someone else to publish OT.
For about five minutes it looked like I might be going to Jerusalem to pick up a book and hand-carry it back into the US, but I worked up the cost and seriously doubt the university it'd go to will go for that. They'd on the cheap-assed side and have already cut us out of one packing job because they thought we were too expensive. I used to get hurt by that, but the reality is half the time these twerps have no idea what they're doing, and when something goes wrong they wind up paying a lot more than they'd have paid us.
There have been occasions where book dealers thought we charged too much to transport books into and out of the UK so decided to carry them in their baggage on the plane. Which they can do and is cheaper. But then they stupidly do not declare the books at their actual value. I say stupidly because books going into the US and UK are duty and VAT free. So even if it's a $10,000 book, no charge...so long as you properly declare it. If you don't, and your bag gets searched, and you're dumb enough to leave the actual price of the book in the book, and it doesn't match up to what you declared, they can seize it for mis-declaring it.
That actually happened to one dealer. He called us to see if we could help, but by that time all we could do was refer him to a lawyer who knew customs law. It took three months and thousands of dollars to get his books back, and now he's flagged; anytime he comes into the US or UK, his luggage gets searched.
I was stupid enough to do that once, at Heritage -- mis-declare a book going into Italy to avoid paying VAT on it. The book was seized and cost us $5000 in fines and legal fees to get back. After that, you couldn't pay me to not do it right.
You see, what we do where I work is make sure crap like that doesn't happen. We insist the dealers give us proper documents and handle customs requirements (which keep shifting oh-so-slightly) and make sure they have all the paperwork needed to show the books was legally transported...especially if they require an Export License from the UK. It's extremely important, these days, when even major museums and universities are having items seized because they don't have the proper provenance for them.
It ain't easy to keep this up, and it ain't cheap to do it right. It's very time-consuming. But we're too expensive.
Oh, well...
For example, in Cabaret there's a song, If You Could See Her Through My Eyes. So when Jake finally reveals he knows who the killer is, he does it by singing to the lead-in melody for that:
"I know what you're thinkiiiiiiiing.You wonder why I chose youuuuuuu,Out of all the suspects in Palm Spriiiiiiiiiiings.It's 'cause I know you did it.But how'd I know you did it?'Cause the biggest fuckin' cluuuuuuuue,Came the day that I met youuuuuu."
I may have made it too goofy; I don't know. I'm enjoying it, as is Jake. And there's a fun little twist on the end of the chapter that should keep things embroiled in suspense.
Looks like The Lyons' Den may be going out of print. The publisher's hinting they want to do it. Sales are way, way down. Not that it was ever a huge seller, but it was the first book I made money on. I suppose that means I could come out with a second edition, self-published...and with a better cover. I'll have to think about it. I've got this beastie to finish, first, and I'm so broke I'll have trouble getting it done. I may see if I can get someone else to publish OT.
For about five minutes it looked like I might be going to Jerusalem to pick up a book and hand-carry it back into the US, but I worked up the cost and seriously doubt the university it'd go to will go for that. They'd on the cheap-assed side and have already cut us out of one packing job because they thought we were too expensive. I used to get hurt by that, but the reality is half the time these twerps have no idea what they're doing, and when something goes wrong they wind up paying a lot more than they'd have paid us.
There have been occasions where book dealers thought we charged too much to transport books into and out of the UK so decided to carry them in their baggage on the plane. Which they can do and is cheaper. But then they stupidly do not declare the books at their actual value. I say stupidly because books going into the US and UK are duty and VAT free. So even if it's a $10,000 book, no charge...so long as you properly declare it. If you don't, and your bag gets searched, and you're dumb enough to leave the actual price of the book in the book, and it doesn't match up to what you declared, they can seize it for mis-declaring it.
That actually happened to one dealer. He called us to see if we could help, but by that time all we could do was refer him to a lawyer who knew customs law. It took three months and thousands of dollars to get his books back, and now he's flagged; anytime he comes into the US or UK, his luggage gets searched.
I was stupid enough to do that once, at Heritage -- mis-declare a book going into Italy to avoid paying VAT on it. The book was seized and cost us $5000 in fines and legal fees to get back. After that, you couldn't pay me to not do it right.
You see, what we do where I work is make sure crap like that doesn't happen. We insist the dealers give us proper documents and handle customs requirements (which keep shifting oh-so-slightly) and make sure they have all the paperwork needed to show the books was legally transported...especially if they require an Export License from the UK. It's extremely important, these days, when even major museums and universities are having items seized because they don't have the proper provenance for them.
It ain't easy to keep this up, and it ain't cheap to do it right. It's very time-consuming. But we're too expensive.
Oh, well...
May 28, 2015
Sisyphus...
The closer I get to being done with The Vanishing of Owen Taylor, the more I have left to do...dammit...
May 27, 2015
Meltdown thanks to Russia...
I was working along on OT and inputting changes I'd made and streaming KCRW when this melody came on -- Evenings Near Moscow (AKA: Moscow Nights). And I stopped because it reminded me of a movie moment that meant something to me and I can't remember what it was. All I can catch in my fuzzed up brain is that it was black & white, either the end or near it, and it was made in the 60s...earlier rather than later. Maybe a war movie? Something set in Europe? Maybe a European film? I can't remember and it's driving me nuts.
I've done the Google thing and all the comes up is it's Russian, written in the early 50s, and was appropriated by The Mitchell Trio in 1961. It was a huge hit at the time. So maybe it was mood music for some film. But now I can't get the damned thing out of my head and can't remember where or when I first heard it being used...but I'm almost positive it was in a movie theater.
Whatever it was, it jolted something in my head and I think I'll be adding some bits to the story. Dammit. But it's necessary for Jake's through line. For his development as a person and to explain why he didn't move to California once he was exonerated.
I still managed to get some of OT done...well, a lot. I have about 230 pages left to input, but we're getting into the heavy-duty changes area so I expect to slow down. And I definitely need another pass through the story to smooth in the bits I'll be adding. My Tolstoy-like murder mystery...
Hmm...maybe I'm just Russian at heart.
I've done the Google thing and all the comes up is it's Russian, written in the early 50s, and was appropriated by The Mitchell Trio in 1961. It was a huge hit at the time. So maybe it was mood music for some film. But now I can't get the damned thing out of my head and can't remember where or when I first heard it being used...but I'm almost positive it was in a movie theater.
Whatever it was, it jolted something in my head and I think I'll be adding some bits to the story. Dammit. But it's necessary for Jake's through line. For his development as a person and to explain why he didn't move to California once he was exonerated.
I still managed to get some of OT done...well, a lot. I have about 230 pages left to input, but we're getting into the heavy-duty changes area so I expect to slow down. And I definitely need another pass through the story to smooth in the bits I'll be adding. My Tolstoy-like murder mystery...
Hmm...maybe I'm just Russian at heart.
May 26, 2015
Part One is undone...
I've input the changes in the 1st part of the story, and so far I've cut one page. I thought it;d be more, but I keep adding bits to illuminate aspects of what's happening and setting things up, so I guess I should be glad.
I'm still kind of sad because I had to get rid of this lovely character named Judge Leffick, who reminded Jake of a withered prune and hacked like he'd never drawn a clean breath of air in his life. He comes across as weak and weaselly, until the DA tries a sneaky one; then he's a lion. I'm going to try and put him in somewhere, if not this book then another, someplace. Don't know yet.
This section was the easiest to do because I've been over it more than any other part of what I've written. I've already done a fair bit of slicing and dicing and Osterizing, so it probably is good I was able to get a page gone. But I am back to thinking I need to do another full-fledged pass to maintain consistency.
Not that I'm anal or anything...I'm just scatterbrained...
I'm still kind of sad because I had to get rid of this lovely character named Judge Leffick, who reminded Jake of a withered prune and hacked like he'd never drawn a clean breath of air in his life. He comes across as weak and weaselly, until the DA tries a sneaky one; then he's a lion. I'm going to try and put him in somewhere, if not this book then another, someplace. Don't know yet.
This section was the easiest to do because I've been over it more than any other part of what I've written. I've already done a fair bit of slicing and dicing and Osterizing, so it probably is good I was able to get a page gone. But I am back to thinking I need to do another full-fledged pass to maintain consistency.
Not that I'm anal or anything...I'm just scatterbrained...
May 25, 2015
Now an alpha?
Okay, I just completed a rewrite of OT using a hardcopy I'd printed out. And the ending definitely truncated itself. Maybe too much so. I still have to input the changes and do another pass, but I've got some people lined up to read it when I'm done, so...I'm getting it off. I doubt it'll really be where I want it, yet, but I need to know if I'm heading in the right direction.
The killer's still the same, but instead of having the big explanation of what happened, I broke it up over a couple of chapters and then a final face-off. It's rather anti-Agatha Christie and Perry Mason, but I prefer it...if it works. And if any of my followers want to read it, just let me know. The more feedback I have, the better.
I'm having no luck finding the right look for the cover. This is okay, but I do not want the guy representing Jake looking straight out. I want a back view with him looking over his shoulder...but I can't find anything that's right and the photographers I've reached out to either aren't interested or don't have anything that fits. So I've started trying to think up something else.
Suggestions are appreciated.
The killer's still the same, but instead of having the big explanation of what happened, I broke it up over a couple of chapters and then a final face-off. It's rather anti-Agatha Christie and Perry Mason, but I prefer it...if it works. And if any of my followers want to read it, just let me know. The more feedback I have, the better.
I'm having no luck finding the right look for the cover. This is okay, but I do not want the guy representing Jake looking straight out. I want a back view with him looking over his shoulder...but I can't find anything that's right and the photographers I've reached out to either aren't interested or don't have anything that fits. So I've started trying to think up something else.Suggestions are appreciated.
