Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 233
April 30, 2015
Sixth Part of MFD
EXT. ST. CLEMEN’S COLLEGE - DAY
Ben spies Aurelia seated with Fatiha on a shaded bench.
He heads for them, like a shark -- notices --
A burly man in sunglasses close by -- BODYGUARD #1.
Ben shifts to bumbling mode.
BEN
(French accent)
Aurelia! You take le déjeuner?
The girls look around, startled.
AURELIA
Uh, yeah. We’re almost done. Uh, Laurent, this my friend, Fatiha.
FATIHA
BonJOUR, monSIEUR ...
Ben walks past the girls. Bodyguard #1’s eyes stay on him.
BEN
Bonjour, mademoiselle; I am called Lorie. I do not mean for to intrude on you. I go to class in just one moment. We can meet later?
AURELIA
I ... uh, have a lab. Starts at three and goes for ...
FATIHA
I’d love to!
Aurelia eyes her. Fatiha smiles back.
AURELIA
But my ... lab can wait. Where shall we meet?
BEN
The shop where I spill your coffee? I am done with all classes by four.
FATIHA
Four-thirty’d be perfect.
BEN
Then it is done. Until then!
Ben jaunts away. Fatiha leans over to Aurelia.
FATIHA
You don’t have to come, you know.
Aurelia glares at her. Bodyguard #1 makes a note -- Laurent.
EXT. MARINA - DAY
Glyde parks near the boat locks. He sees Legion atop one, looking at The Thames. He strides over. Jets take off from London City Airport.
GLYDE
What do I call you?
LEGION
Here, my name is Legion.
GLYDE
How’d you get my number?
LEGION
Does it matter? I only thought you have an interest in Forrier’s son’s reappearance.
GLYDE
Why should I?
LEGION
It’s you he’s come looking for. He thinks you had his family killed.
Glyde eyes Legion.
GLYDE
The IRA was behind that.
LEGION
As the story goes. Have you ever met our Benjamin?
GLYDE
Just pictures in the paper.
LEGION
Here. These’re better.
He hands Glyde photo printouts of Ben’s Army photos.
LEGION (CONT’D)
Favors his Da, he does. You have T-Rex encryption on your computer?
Glyde nods.
LEGION (CONT’D)
I’ll e-mail you this code, when you no longer need to be careful.
He offers a card to Glyde, who refuses it.
GLYDE
Don’t contact me, again.
He keeps one photo of Ben. Walks away. Legion smiles at Ben's other photos.
IN GLYDE’S CAR
He gets behind the wheel and hits the hands-free phone.
LEO (O.S.)
Yeah?
GLYDE
Have the Chang brothers upgrade our online security. And I want two men with each of my kids at all times. Let me know who they talk to, who they phone. Everything. And no one gets in a car without it bein’ checked for a bomb. Then get some lads together. We’re off fishing.
LEO
What is it?
GLYDE
More bloody shite from Belfast.
---------------------
This is the first act, completed. Maybe that's enough for now.
Ben spies Aurelia seated with Fatiha on a shaded bench.
He heads for them, like a shark -- notices --
A burly man in sunglasses close by -- BODYGUARD #1.
Ben shifts to bumbling mode.
BEN
(French accent)
Aurelia! You take le déjeuner?
The girls look around, startled.
AURELIA
Uh, yeah. We’re almost done. Uh, Laurent, this my friend, Fatiha.
FATIHA
BonJOUR, monSIEUR ...
Ben walks past the girls. Bodyguard #1’s eyes stay on him.
BEN
Bonjour, mademoiselle; I am called Lorie. I do not mean for to intrude on you. I go to class in just one moment. We can meet later?
AURELIA
I ... uh, have a lab. Starts at three and goes for ...
FATIHA
I’d love to!
Aurelia eyes her. Fatiha smiles back.
AURELIA
But my ... lab can wait. Where shall we meet?
BEN
The shop where I spill your coffee? I am done with all classes by four.
FATIHA
Four-thirty’d be perfect.
BEN
Then it is done. Until then!
Ben jaunts away. Fatiha leans over to Aurelia.
FATIHA
You don’t have to come, you know.
Aurelia glares at her. Bodyguard #1 makes a note -- Laurent.
EXT. MARINA - DAY
Glyde parks near the boat locks. He sees Legion atop one, looking at The Thames. He strides over. Jets take off from London City Airport.
GLYDE
What do I call you?
LEGION
Here, my name is Legion.
GLYDE
How’d you get my number?
LEGION
Does it matter? I only thought you have an interest in Forrier’s son’s reappearance.
GLYDE
Why should I?
LEGION
It’s you he’s come looking for. He thinks you had his family killed.
Glyde eyes Legion.
GLYDE
The IRA was behind that.
LEGION
As the story goes. Have you ever met our Benjamin?
GLYDE
Just pictures in the paper.
LEGION
Here. These’re better.
He hands Glyde photo printouts of Ben’s Army photos.
LEGION (CONT’D)
Favors his Da, he does. You have T-Rex encryption on your computer?
Glyde nods.
LEGION (CONT’D)
I’ll e-mail you this code, when you no longer need to be careful.
He offers a card to Glyde, who refuses it.
GLYDE
Don’t contact me, again.
He keeps one photo of Ben. Walks away. Legion smiles at Ben's other photos.
IN GLYDE’S CAR
He gets behind the wheel and hits the hands-free phone.
LEO (O.S.)
Yeah?
GLYDE
Have the Chang brothers upgrade our online security. And I want two men with each of my kids at all times. Let me know who they talk to, who they phone. Everything. And no one gets in a car without it bein’ checked for a bomb. Then get some lads together. We’re off fishing.
LEO
What is it?
GLYDE
More bloody shite from Belfast.
---------------------
This is the first act, completed. Maybe that's enough for now.
April 29, 2015
Fifth part of MFD...
EXT. ST. CLEMEN’S COLLEGE - DAY
Busy, yet calm. Aurelia exits a building with FATIHA, who’s cut from the same cloth as her.
FATIHA
It’s not right! Who can read, let alone understand, a French novel in under six years!? Why not offer classes on the joy of J K Rowling?
Aurelia slows down.
FATIHA (CONT’D)
What?
AURELIA
The man on that bench. He’s who spilled coffee on me, the other night.
Ben sits nearby, reading.
FATIHA
So there are blond Frenchmen. Or perhaps we should find out if he really is.
AURELIA
Tiha! You’re awful!
She continues on. Fatiha keeps pace. Aurelia casts a quick glance back. Tiha notices.
Ben keeps his face pointed towards his book, but his eyes watch her. His expression fades into a frown.
INT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
YOUNG BEN gazes out a window. Isobel caresses his hair.
ISOBEL
Jamin, quel est le problème?
BEN
C’est rien, maman. Rien.
ISOBEL
Come. I’ll warm some milk and you will tell me what this nothing is.
EXT. ST. CLEMEN’S COLLEGE - DAY
Ben whispers.
BEN
... It’s not exactly nothing.
INT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Young Ben sits at the kitchen table. Isobel warms some milk.
ISOBEL
Just because I am Catholic does not mean you must find a girl who is. Your father is not, nor were you raised as such.
BEN
But what if ... I was to find one?
She sits by him.
ISOBEL
Oh, Jamin, what is her name?
INT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Ben is in his army dress uniform; Irina wears a white gown and veil. She slips a ring onto his finger.
BEN (O.S.)
Irina.
IRINA
This is from my love ...
FLASH OF VAUGHN TAKING THE PHOTOGRAPH.
EXT. ST. CLEMEN’S COLLEGE - DAY
Ben forces himself to rise and walk away.
INT. FIRING RANGE - DAY
Ben unloads his pistol into a target.
EXT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - DAY (FLASHBACK)
Forrier shows YOUNG BEN how to shoot a pistol.
FORRIER
Learn the feel of your weapon, so you can aim it without thinking.
FLASH OF BEN SHOOTING THE TALIBAN SNIPER.
INT. FIRING RANGE - DAY
Ben finishes a third clip. Claims his target. Bulls-eyes.
A genial SKA DUDE WHISTLES at it.
SKA DUDE
You did that with a Glock Thirty-six?! Think of what you could do with a real weapon.
He holds up a forty-five Colt revolver.
BEN
Too obvious.
SKA DUDE
That’s got small bullets. Midgies give bigger bites.
Ben takes the forty-five. Looks it over.
BEN
What if you don’t want your target to be wary of you?
SKA DUDE
Better if there’s no trouble to start with. And this? Cheap at two-hundred pound.
Ben returns the Colt to Ska Dude.
BEN
Trouble always comes.
INT. TRAIN DEPOT - DAY
Legion exits a train, bright and cheerful, as always.
BEN (O.S.)
What’s important is to be ready.
INT. GLYDE HOUSE - DAY
In Glyde's office. Glyde talks with an officious man -- LEO.
GLYDE
Just heard from Derry. They doubled their order. That’s the last of our next shipment.
The phone RINGS. Glyde strides to his desk.
LEO
(British)
Someone expecting a party?
GLYDE
An organizer’s planning a festival, like Woodstock or Burning man.
LEO
What’s a burning man?
GLYDE
Bugger if I know.
(into phone)Yeah?
LEGION (O.S.)
(brogue)
I thought you’d like to hear ... Ben Forrier’s in London.
Busy, yet calm. Aurelia exits a building with FATIHA, who’s cut from the same cloth as her.
FATIHA
It’s not right! Who can read, let alone understand, a French novel in under six years!? Why not offer classes on the joy of J K Rowling?
Aurelia slows down.
FATIHA (CONT’D)
What?
AURELIA
The man on that bench. He’s who spilled coffee on me, the other night.
Ben sits nearby, reading.
FATIHA
So there are blond Frenchmen. Or perhaps we should find out if he really is.
AURELIA
Tiha! You’re awful!
She continues on. Fatiha keeps pace. Aurelia casts a quick glance back. Tiha notices.
Ben keeps his face pointed towards his book, but his eyes watch her. His expression fades into a frown.
INT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
YOUNG BEN gazes out a window. Isobel caresses his hair.
ISOBEL
Jamin, quel est le problème?
BEN
C’est rien, maman. Rien.
ISOBEL
Come. I’ll warm some milk and you will tell me what this nothing is.
EXT. ST. CLEMEN’S COLLEGE - DAY
Ben whispers.
BEN
... It’s not exactly nothing.
INT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Young Ben sits at the kitchen table. Isobel warms some milk.
ISOBEL
Just because I am Catholic does not mean you must find a girl who is. Your father is not, nor were you raised as such.
BEN
But what if ... I was to find one?
She sits by him.
ISOBEL
Oh, Jamin, what is her name?
INT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Ben is in his army dress uniform; Irina wears a white gown and veil. She slips a ring onto his finger.
BEN (O.S.)
Irina.
IRINA
This is from my love ...
FLASH OF VAUGHN TAKING THE PHOTOGRAPH.
EXT. ST. CLEMEN’S COLLEGE - DAY
Ben forces himself to rise and walk away.
INT. FIRING RANGE - DAY
Ben unloads his pistol into a target.
EXT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - DAY (FLASHBACK)
Forrier shows YOUNG BEN how to shoot a pistol.
FORRIER
Learn the feel of your weapon, so you can aim it without thinking.
FLASH OF BEN SHOOTING THE TALIBAN SNIPER.
INT. FIRING RANGE - DAY
Ben finishes a third clip. Claims his target. Bulls-eyes.
A genial SKA DUDE WHISTLES at it.
SKA DUDE
You did that with a Glock Thirty-six?! Think of what you could do with a real weapon.
He holds up a forty-five Colt revolver.
BEN
Too obvious.
SKA DUDE
That’s got small bullets. Midgies give bigger bites.
Ben takes the forty-five. Looks it over.
BEN
What if you don’t want your target to be wary of you?
SKA DUDE
Better if there’s no trouble to start with. And this? Cheap at two-hundred pound.
Ben returns the Colt to Ska Dude.
BEN
Trouble always comes.
INT. TRAIN DEPOT - DAY
Legion exits a train, bright and cheerful, as always.
BEN (O.S.)
What’s important is to be ready.
INT. GLYDE HOUSE - DAY
In Glyde's office. Glyde talks with an officious man -- LEO.
GLYDE
Just heard from Derry. They doubled their order. That’s the last of our next shipment.
The phone RINGS. Glyde strides to his desk.
LEO
(British)
Someone expecting a party?
GLYDE
An organizer’s planning a festival, like Woodstock or Burning man.
LEO
What’s a burning man?
GLYDE
Bugger if I know.
(into phone)Yeah?
LEGION (O.S.)
(brogue)
I thought you’d like to hear ... Ben Forrier’s in London.
April 28, 2015
Quick note -- FYI
I'm making two major changes to Marked For Death.
First off -- the villain was okay but not devastating as I wanted, so I'm shifting that to another character. So that needs to be better set up.
Second -- I didn't reveal a cousin of Ben's has also been killed until near the end. That raised too many problems, not just for the logic of the story but the honesty of the characters. Ben would know the guy's dead. That revelation just did not work, at all, and I'm dumping it. Even though I liked it in the structure.
So...I've gone back to adjust the sections I've already posted, and I'm reworking my ending confrontation, completely. But then, a script is never completely done until it's on the screen.
Something else -- I like the original Mad Max, and I heard there's to be a followup to the so-so #3. But there was a major story in last week's "Entertainment Weekly" that led off with a character snarling at the camera, his face half-covered by a mask made from a trident gardening tool. The middle prong goes over his nose while the outer prongs are in perfect alignment with his eyes. One good smack and he's blind, at the very least. It's such a stupid design, I decided I won't see the movie. If they can't get that right, none of it will be.
Just to prove I'm as shallow as I ever was.
First off -- the villain was okay but not devastating as I wanted, so I'm shifting that to another character. So that needs to be better set up.
Second -- I didn't reveal a cousin of Ben's has also been killed until near the end. That raised too many problems, not just for the logic of the story but the honesty of the characters. Ben would know the guy's dead. That revelation just did not work, at all, and I'm dumping it. Even though I liked it in the structure.
So...I've gone back to adjust the sections I've already posted, and I'm reworking my ending confrontation, completely. But then, a script is never completely done until it's on the screen.
Something else -- I like the original Mad Max, and I heard there's to be a followup to the so-so #3. But there was a major story in last week's "Entertainment Weekly" that led off with a character snarling at the camera, his face half-covered by a mask made from a trident gardening tool. The middle prong goes over his nose while the outer prongs are in perfect alignment with his eyes. One good smack and he's blind, at the very least. It's such a stupid design, I decided I won't see the movie. If they can't get that right, none of it will be.
Just to prove I'm as shallow as I ever was.
4th bit of MFD
Continuing from last section...
--------------------
INT. GLYDE HOUSE - NIGHT
Designer decorated to excess. Ric opens the front door and stumbles inside, stoned. He YELPS when Aurelia appears.
AURELIA
Davie’s Da let you do this?
RIC
Aura, you trying to kill me?
AURELIA
If you don’t stop, you’ll get kicked out of school.
RIC
Again? Oh, scandal.
AURELIA
Come on. Bed. It’s almost one.
RIC
No. I have a mood for food.
IN THE KITCHEN
Ric hands Aurelia a bottle of water from the fridge then pulls food out. Their voices are soft.
RIC (CONT’D)
Finish your book?
AURELIA
Almost. Da asked where you were.
RIC
You tell him?
AURELIA
Please! Ric, he worries about you.
RIC
You don’t believe that?
AURELIA
Don’t you believe that I worry?
RIC
... Yeah, I ... I do ...
GLYDE (O.S.)
But you don’t give a fuck, do you?
Ric and Aurelia jolt around. Glyde stands by the door. He goes to the boy. Sniffs. Snarls.
RIC
Da, don’t jump to conclusions! I ... some of my mates were ...
Glyde SLAPS HIM. Ric barely flinches.
AURELIA
Da, don’t!
GLYDE
Don’t you fuckin’ lie to me! You know how much money I spent to get you free from that fuckin’ shite!?
RIC
No. How much is it, today?
Glyde SLAPS HIM, again. Aurelia rams between them.
AURELIA
Stop! Da, please ... go back to bed. I’ll talk to him.
GLYDE
For all the fuckin’ good that does.
(to Ric)
I smell it on you, again, you’re back to rehab. Forever! I won’t have my son a fuckin’ junkie!
Glyde storms from the room. Ric sneers after him. Aurelia puts ice in a towel. Wipes at his bloody nose.
RIC
And that’s how he gets thinkin’ I’m doin’ crack ... just imagine if ... if ... sorry, Aura ... sorry ...
He weeps. She holds him close.
EXT. HILLSIDE - NIGHT
Ben hides in shadows. His drone hovers by Glyde’s Manor.
ON THE LAPTOP SCREEN, Aurelia and Ric are visible through a kitchen window. She caresses the boy’s hair.
Ben fixates on the screen.
INT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
YOUNG BEN gazes out a window. Isobel comes up, caresses him.
ISOBEL
Jamin, quel est le problème?
BEN
C’est rien, maman.
EXT. HILLSIDE - NIGHT
Ben finally brings the drone back.
BEN
It’s nothing.
He shuts the laptop down.
INT. MARC’S HOUSE - DAY
In his room, Ben practices Aikido, earbuds on, shirtless. The knife’s scars gleam in his muscles.
Lauren appears in the doorway, perfectly made-up. He pulls off the earbuds; the music is loud.
BEN
Sorry, I’m making too much noise.
LAUREN
No, no. Breakfast is almost ready.
BEN
Have I time to shower, first?
She nods. He bolts for the bathroom. She watches him go. Sees the photo of his family on the mirror. Hesitates. Leaves.
EXT. MARC’S HOUSE - DAY
On the patio overlooking the Thames. Marc and Ben feast. Lauren pours them more juice.
MARC
No, my work is connected to London City Airport. Customs clearance for luxury items. All must be properly declared to avoid VAT or duty. Lauren ... this juice is fresh-squeezed. We should have guests more often.
Ben glances at Lauren.
INT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
At dinner. LAURENT -- a happy teenager -- digs into his food. Marc and Lauren watch. YOUNG BEN and his parents also eat.
ISOBEL
Laurent, do not eat so quickly. You hurt your tummy.
LAURENT
(British)
But it’s so good. Wish you cooked like this, mum.
Lauren rolls her eyes, irritated.
EXT. MARC’S HOUSE - DAY
Lauren shrugs a smile. Ben sips his juice.
BEN
I don’t really understand. What sort of business is it?
MARC
It is like import and export. We handle customs documents and smooth the path for those who want their path smoothed. A man I knew at University started it. We have done well, as you can see. So what have you been doing, the last few days?
BEN
Running about. Army's interested in me returning.
MARCIt did you good.
BENI wasn't that wild a lad.
MARCBen ...
BENAll right, then. I ... um, I’ve also been thinking of university.
LAURENWhich one?
BEN
St. Clemen’s.
LAUREN
... Where Laurent studied ...
BEN
Would you rather I not?
LAUREN
No, that's fine. It's a good school. He liked it there.
Marc focuses on his food. Lauren’s eyes stay on Ben. He hands her a gentle nod.
--------------------
INT. GLYDE HOUSE - NIGHT
Designer decorated to excess. Ric opens the front door and stumbles inside, stoned. He YELPS when Aurelia appears.
AURELIA
Davie’s Da let you do this?
RIC
Aura, you trying to kill me?
AURELIA
If you don’t stop, you’ll get kicked out of school.
RIC
Again? Oh, scandal.
AURELIA
Come on. Bed. It’s almost one.
RIC
No. I have a mood for food.
IN THE KITCHEN
Ric hands Aurelia a bottle of water from the fridge then pulls food out. Their voices are soft.
RIC (CONT’D)
Finish your book?
AURELIA
Almost. Da asked where you were.
RIC
You tell him?
AURELIA
Please! Ric, he worries about you.
RIC
You don’t believe that?
AURELIA
Don’t you believe that I worry?
RIC
... Yeah, I ... I do ...
GLYDE (O.S.)
But you don’t give a fuck, do you?
Ric and Aurelia jolt around. Glyde stands by the door. He goes to the boy. Sniffs. Snarls.
RIC
Da, don’t jump to conclusions! I ... some of my mates were ...
Glyde SLAPS HIM. Ric barely flinches.
AURELIA
Da, don’t!
GLYDE
Don’t you fuckin’ lie to me! You know how much money I spent to get you free from that fuckin’ shite!?
RIC
No. How much is it, today?
Glyde SLAPS HIM, again. Aurelia rams between them.
AURELIA
Stop! Da, please ... go back to bed. I’ll talk to him.
GLYDE
For all the fuckin’ good that does.
(to Ric)
I smell it on you, again, you’re back to rehab. Forever! I won’t have my son a fuckin’ junkie!
Glyde storms from the room. Ric sneers after him. Aurelia puts ice in a towel. Wipes at his bloody nose.
RIC
And that’s how he gets thinkin’ I’m doin’ crack ... just imagine if ... if ... sorry, Aura ... sorry ...
He weeps. She holds him close.
EXT. HILLSIDE - NIGHT
Ben hides in shadows. His drone hovers by Glyde’s Manor.
ON THE LAPTOP SCREEN, Aurelia and Ric are visible through a kitchen window. She caresses the boy’s hair.
Ben fixates on the screen.
INT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
YOUNG BEN gazes out a window. Isobel comes up, caresses him.
ISOBEL
Jamin, quel est le problème?
BEN
C’est rien, maman.
EXT. HILLSIDE - NIGHT
Ben finally brings the drone back.
BEN
It’s nothing.
He shuts the laptop down.
INT. MARC’S HOUSE - DAY
In his room, Ben practices Aikido, earbuds on, shirtless. The knife’s scars gleam in his muscles.
Lauren appears in the doorway, perfectly made-up. He pulls off the earbuds; the music is loud.
BEN
Sorry, I’m making too much noise.
LAUREN
No, no. Breakfast is almost ready.
BEN
Have I time to shower, first?
She nods. He bolts for the bathroom. She watches him go. Sees the photo of his family on the mirror. Hesitates. Leaves.
EXT. MARC’S HOUSE - DAY
On the patio overlooking the Thames. Marc and Ben feast. Lauren pours them more juice.
MARC
No, my work is connected to London City Airport. Customs clearance for luxury items. All must be properly declared to avoid VAT or duty. Lauren ... this juice is fresh-squeezed. We should have guests more often.
Ben glances at Lauren.
INT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
At dinner. LAURENT -- a happy teenager -- digs into his food. Marc and Lauren watch. YOUNG BEN and his parents also eat.
ISOBEL
Laurent, do not eat so quickly. You hurt your tummy.
LAURENT
(British)
But it’s so good. Wish you cooked like this, mum.
Lauren rolls her eyes, irritated.
EXT. MARC’S HOUSE - DAY
Lauren shrugs a smile. Ben sips his juice.
BEN
I don’t really understand. What sort of business is it?
MARC
It is like import and export. We handle customs documents and smooth the path for those who want their path smoothed. A man I knew at University started it. We have done well, as you can see. So what have you been doing, the last few days?
BEN
Running about. Army's interested in me returning.
MARCIt did you good.
BENI wasn't that wild a lad.
MARCBen ...
BENAll right, then. I ... um, I’ve also been thinking of university.
LAURENWhich one?
BEN
St. Clemen’s.
LAUREN
... Where Laurent studied ...
BEN
Would you rather I not?
LAUREN
No, that's fine. It's a good school. He liked it there.
Marc focuses on his food. Lauren’s eyes stay on Ben. He hands her a gentle nod.
April 26, 2015
Third bit of MFD
Maybe I'll post the whole script, this way...see if I can get some feedback. This continues from the day before yesterday's post.
_____________
EXT. SOCCER PITCH - NIGHT
A FOOTBALL SHOOTS ACROSS THE PITCH! A group of TEENAGERS in full kit race after it in a FOOTBALL MATCH.
AURIC GLYDE -- 16, budding football star, AKA: RIC -- steals the ball. Guides it down the field. Is almost clipped by a huge guard. Kicks in a goal!
Aurelia SCREAMS from the stands.
Ric pumps his arms. His teammates pound on him, happily.
LATER -- AT THE CAR PARK
PEOPLE walk to their cars or drive off. Ric bounds up to grab Aurelia in a howling hug.
RIC
Four in a row, Aura! We’re the top!
AURELIA
Don’t be cocky! You still have a playoff game, and one to make-up.
RIC
Against The Hibernians? Zeroes! C’mon, Davie’s Da's having the team over for celebration. Join us.
AURELIA
I have a paper due on Monday and still have to finish the book.
RIC
Right you are. I’ll snag a ride home with Ghalib.
AURELIA
Ric ... be in by eleven.
He drops his gym bag in the car.
RIC
Thanks for coming. You’re my rock.
He jogs over to some BOYS STANDING NEARBY. Aurelia gets in the Aston Martin. Drives away.
INT. COFFEE SHOP - NIGHT
Aurelia sits at a tiny table, intently reads and takes notes. A CUP OF COFFEE SPLATTERS ON THE FLOOR BESIDE HER! She jolts to find Ben looking down in shock.
BEN
(in French)
Aw, shit, I am sorry, so sorry! The cup, it’s so hot -- I try to get it to table -- oh, I ruin your pants! Your nice boots!
He grabs napkins to dab coffee off her boots and pants.
AURELIA
No, no, that’s all right! Really! No, please. Please, stop.
BEN
(French accent)
Water. If I have water ...
AURELIA
No, it’s all right. I mean it!
BEN
Non, it is not! You will take them to be cleaned, and I will pay.
AURELIA
Will you stop worrying about it? They’re just bloody shoes.
She turns back to her book. He sags into a chair.
BEN
Aw. C’est parfait. Once again, Lorie, you ruin yourself.
AURELIA
Sorry?
BEN
The coffee, it was for you.
AURELIA
For me? Why?
BEN
I see you read Le Corbeau and your cup is cold, so I ask what you drink and bring to you another. And give it to you on your boots.
AURELIA
Why would you buy a coffee for me?
BEN
Is it not all right to buy a pretty girl a coffee, en Angleterre?
AURELIA
It’s best if you ask, first. She might not want any.
BEN
Ah. Next time, I will ask you.
AURELIA
There won’t be a next time. I don’t know you.
Ben offers his hand.
BEN
I am Laurent ... non, non, I am Lorie, to my friends.
AURELIA
I’m not one of your friends.
BEN
But I have now made to you the introduction. I wait only for you to tell me how you are called. My bet is, your name is as pretty as you are.
AURELIA
Listen, Laurent ...
BEN
Lorie! Lorie.
AURELIA
I’m trying to study, here.
BEN
You read Sartre in the coffee shop. En français, so this is obvious. To which university do you go? UEL?
AURELIA
Bloody hell.
She closes the book, grabs her things and stands. He sighs.
BEN
I am being too strong, huh?
AURELIA
You have to ask?
BEN
Non. This is my life. I see a girl I like, try to make an impression, and kill myself before she knows me.
He points his finger to his head and pulls the trigger.
AURELIA
It’s not that. It’s just I have a lot to do and ... well ... vous-êtes français, oui?
BEN
De Toulouse. M'accent est mauvais.
AURELIA
Non, non, c'est bon, mais ... étudiez-vous à l'universite?
BEN
Oui ... yes. I study English for to make it better, so I prefer to speak the English, please.
AURELIA
Which university?
BEN
Saint Clemens.
AURELIA
Really? I haven’t seen you there.
BEN
I have only just begun my studies. Is this your university, also?
AURELIA
Yeah. Maybe I’ll see you on campus.
She heads off. He rises.
BEN
How do I call you?
AURELIA
You can’t. I don’t give my phone number to strangers.
BEN
No, your name. How will I call you when I see you, next?
AURELIA
Aurelia. Aura, to my friends.
BEN
We are to be friends?
She waves and walks away. He slowly sits.
EXT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - DAY (FLASHBACK)
Forrier and YOUNG BEN stroll to the house, shotguns in hand, clutches of pheasants over their shoulders.
FORRIER
Ah, but women love to feel superior to men. That is why so many wind up with bastards or fools.
BEN
Which are you with Maman, Da?
FORRIER
A joker, you little bugger.
INT. COFFEE SHOP - NIGHT
Ben watches Aurelia exit. Absently shreds his napkin.
_____________
EXT. SOCCER PITCH - NIGHT
A FOOTBALL SHOOTS ACROSS THE PITCH! A group of TEENAGERS in full kit race after it in a FOOTBALL MATCH.
AURIC GLYDE -- 16, budding football star, AKA: RIC -- steals the ball. Guides it down the field. Is almost clipped by a huge guard. Kicks in a goal!
Aurelia SCREAMS from the stands.
Ric pumps his arms. His teammates pound on him, happily.
LATER -- AT THE CAR PARK
PEOPLE walk to their cars or drive off. Ric bounds up to grab Aurelia in a howling hug.
RIC
Four in a row, Aura! We’re the top!
AURELIA
Don’t be cocky! You still have a playoff game, and one to make-up.
RIC
Against The Hibernians? Zeroes! C’mon, Davie’s Da's having the team over for celebration. Join us.
AURELIA
I have a paper due on Monday and still have to finish the book.
RIC
Right you are. I’ll snag a ride home with Ghalib.
AURELIA
Ric ... be in by eleven.
He drops his gym bag in the car.
RIC
Thanks for coming. You’re my rock.
He jogs over to some BOYS STANDING NEARBY. Aurelia gets in the Aston Martin. Drives away.
INT. COFFEE SHOP - NIGHT
Aurelia sits at a tiny table, intently reads and takes notes. A CUP OF COFFEE SPLATTERS ON THE FLOOR BESIDE HER! She jolts to find Ben looking down in shock.
BEN
(in French)
Aw, shit, I am sorry, so sorry! The cup, it’s so hot -- I try to get it to table -- oh, I ruin your pants! Your nice boots!
He grabs napkins to dab coffee off her boots and pants.
AURELIA
No, no, that’s all right! Really! No, please. Please, stop.
BEN
(French accent)
Water. If I have water ...
AURELIA
No, it’s all right. I mean it!
BEN
Non, it is not! You will take them to be cleaned, and I will pay.
AURELIA
Will you stop worrying about it? They’re just bloody shoes.
She turns back to her book. He sags into a chair.
BEN
Aw. C’est parfait. Once again, Lorie, you ruin yourself.
AURELIA
Sorry?
BEN
The coffee, it was for you.
AURELIA
For me? Why?
BEN
I see you read Le Corbeau and your cup is cold, so I ask what you drink and bring to you another. And give it to you on your boots.
AURELIA
Why would you buy a coffee for me?
BEN
Is it not all right to buy a pretty girl a coffee, en Angleterre?
AURELIA
It’s best if you ask, first. She might not want any.
BEN
Ah. Next time, I will ask you.
AURELIA
There won’t be a next time. I don’t know you.
Ben offers his hand.
BEN
I am Laurent ... non, non, I am Lorie, to my friends.
AURELIA
I’m not one of your friends.
BEN
But I have now made to you the introduction. I wait only for you to tell me how you are called. My bet is, your name is as pretty as you are.
AURELIA
Listen, Laurent ...
BEN
Lorie! Lorie.
AURELIA
I’m trying to study, here.
BEN
You read Sartre in the coffee shop. En français, so this is obvious. To which university do you go? UEL?
AURELIA
Bloody hell.
She closes the book, grabs her things and stands. He sighs.
BEN
I am being too strong, huh?
AURELIA
You have to ask?
BEN
Non. This is my life. I see a girl I like, try to make an impression, and kill myself before she knows me.
He points his finger to his head and pulls the trigger.
AURELIA
It’s not that. It’s just I have a lot to do and ... well ... vous-êtes français, oui?
BEN
De Toulouse. M'accent est mauvais.
AURELIA
Non, non, c'est bon, mais ... étudiez-vous à l'universite?
BEN
Oui ... yes. I study English for to make it better, so I prefer to speak the English, please.
AURELIA
Which university?
BEN
Saint Clemens.
AURELIA
Really? I haven’t seen you there.
BEN
I have only just begun my studies. Is this your university, also?
AURELIA
Yeah. Maybe I’ll see you on campus.
She heads off. He rises.
BEN
How do I call you?
AURELIA
You can’t. I don’t give my phone number to strangers.
BEN
No, your name. How will I call you when I see you, next?
AURELIA
Aurelia. Aura, to my friends.
BEN
We are to be friends?
She waves and walks away. He slowly sits.
EXT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - DAY (FLASHBACK)
Forrier and YOUNG BEN stroll to the house, shotguns in hand, clutches of pheasants over their shoulders.
FORRIER
Ah, but women love to feel superior to men. That is why so many wind up with bastards or fools.
BEN
Which are you with Maman, Da?
FORRIER
A joker, you little bugger.
INT. COFFEE SHOP - NIGHT
Ben watches Aurelia exit. Absently shreds his napkin.
April 25, 2015
Long day...but good...
I finished the new draft of Marked For Death. All changes made. Just need to go through it and make sure it's consistent. Ben's become quite interesting in what he's willing to do not only for revenge but to make things right and keep his word. He even commits murder. Not of an innocent, nor in self-defense, but deliberately. Bad boy.
The ending was a major chore, because I flat out wanted to do a Hitchcock. Set the finale out in the open, with no place to hide. A gunfight in the middle of it all. With two innocent people caught in the crossfire and one of the villains out of reach, not to mention drone bombs. Woo-hoo! I got almost all of it. Just had to add in a place to use as shelter. It'll be interesting...I think. I hope.
I can already think of changes I'd like to make. Detail stuff, is all. The structure's there. Some of the actions I pull are a bit obvious, but needed to bridge the gap.
It's a wonder to me I was able to focus. This last couple of weeks have been hellish in too many ways. but I'm still standing. Barely. And as stubborn as always. I need a breather from being hit with sudden expenses left and right -- $100 for this and $50 for that and $90 now and $60 immediately. The one that finally got to me was La Quinta charging me for not showing up for a reservation that I'd canceled, and me not seeing it till late last night, as I was about to pay my American Express bill. Meaning I can't handle it till Wednesday, because that was all done on my computer at work and I'll be in Philadelphia on Monday and Tuesday...and I have to call the hotel manager to discuss it.
I need to go to London for a hand-carry or a job or something. ASAP. But with the Olympia Book Fair coming up in a month, I doubt that's going to happen. My bosses handle that fair because one's from England and they can stay with his family to cut expenses. And he knows London like the back of his hand.
Plus there are a couple of smaller fairs at the same time that some of our dealers want to participate in, so they can split up to deal with those. And they're more adept at handling the agents we work with, there, especially as regards submitting export licenses for certain books. Which I already know we'll need at least six of. Oh, well...maybe in June. Then I can toodle down The Thames to see if what I put into the script really works.
Wouldn't it be a shock to see that it had?
The ending was a major chore, because I flat out wanted to do a Hitchcock. Set the finale out in the open, with no place to hide. A gunfight in the middle of it all. With two innocent people caught in the crossfire and one of the villains out of reach, not to mention drone bombs. Woo-hoo! I got almost all of it. Just had to add in a place to use as shelter. It'll be interesting...I think. I hope.
I can already think of changes I'd like to make. Detail stuff, is all. The structure's there. Some of the actions I pull are a bit obvious, but needed to bridge the gap.
It's a wonder to me I was able to focus. This last couple of weeks have been hellish in too many ways. but I'm still standing. Barely. And as stubborn as always. I need a breather from being hit with sudden expenses left and right -- $100 for this and $50 for that and $90 now and $60 immediately. The one that finally got to me was La Quinta charging me for not showing up for a reservation that I'd canceled, and me not seeing it till late last night, as I was about to pay my American Express bill. Meaning I can't handle it till Wednesday, because that was all done on my computer at work and I'll be in Philadelphia on Monday and Tuesday...and I have to call the hotel manager to discuss it.
I need to go to London for a hand-carry or a job or something. ASAP. But with the Olympia Book Fair coming up in a month, I doubt that's going to happen. My bosses handle that fair because one's from England and they can stay with his family to cut expenses. And he knows London like the back of his hand.
Plus there are a couple of smaller fairs at the same time that some of our dealers want to participate in, so they can split up to deal with those. And they're more adept at handling the agents we work with, there, especially as regards submitting export licenses for certain books. Which I already know we'll need at least six of. Oh, well...maybe in June. Then I can toodle down The Thames to see if what I put into the script really works.
Wouldn't it be a shock to see that it had?
April 24, 2015
More of MFD...
Continues from previous bit...
------
EXT. MARINA - DAY
By London City Airport. High-end yachts. A lock gate opens and a massive cabin cruiser powers into the harbor to stop by a quay. An open lot is beside it. MARC PLOMIER -- middle-aged but youth-obsessed -- hops out to tie up the mooring.
BEN (O.S.)
Uncle Marc.
He spins to find --
Ben approaching. His hair is blond.
MARC
Ben!?
INT. CRUISER CABIN - DAY
Pristine. Well-furnished. Marc pours tea for Ben.
MARC
(French accent)
What a surprise to see you. Where have you been? How did you know I am here?
BEN
Laurent wrote me; mentioned your new boat.
MARC
How was he able to find you?
BEN
He sent the letter to my old unit’s quartermaster. He held it for me.
MARC
My son is too secretive, at times. When did he do this?
BEN
Dunno. Year ago, maybe.
MARC
And only now do you reappear?
BEN
... I only just got the letter. You like London, then?
MARC
It is too expensive, but anyplace is better than Belfast. Do you know Archer is now Superintendent? Your parents and wife are killed, thanks to him, and he moves up the ranks. Le salaeu. And then ... you vanish. Where did you go?
BEN
Here and there. I had lots to think about. But I’m back, and it’s time to get things going, again. I hoped you could help.
MARC
Nothing will please me more.
BEN
Thanks. I’m staying at a B and B in Dartford and -- .
MARC
No, no, no, you will stay with us. I will tell Lauren you’ve returned. Laurent is on holiday so you may have his room.
He pulls out a mobile phone. Ben fights a smile.
BEN
Uncle Marc, I don’t want to impose.
INT. MARC’S HOUSE - DAY
Exquisite. Overlooking The Thames. LAUREN -- 40, looks 30, thinks she’s 20 -- holds her mobile phone.
MARC (O.S.)
Ben, please. You are my sister’s son. It would insult me if you do not have use of my home.
INT. MARC'S HOUSE - DAY
Lauren leads Ben down a hall. He has a duffel bag. She motions to a door.
LAUREN
(British)
I’d put you in Laurent's room, but we’ve more than enough space, and he’s rather particular about how his things are kept.
BEN
When’s he back from holiday?
LAUREN
Sunday. You only just missed him. Here you go.
She shows him a nicely furnished room overlooking the Thames.
LAUREN (CONT’D)
Why not freshen up while I make lunch? Would you like some wine?
BEN
No, thank you, Aunt Lauren.
LAUREN
Ben ... please, it’s just Lauren.
BEN
... Lauren.
LAUREN
I’m glad to see you’re all right. When we heard you were attacked ... and then you vanished ... well ...
He tightens.
LAUREN (CONT’D)
I ... I’ll get lunch started.
She hesitates. Exits.
He drops his duffel-bag on the bed. Pulls out clothes, a laptop computer, notebook, wad of cash, a GLOCK PISTOL with ammunition and 2 extra clips, and a belt holster.
He takes a worn black & white photo from the notebook -- of him, Irina, Isobel and Forrier in front of the Country Home.
EXT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - DAY (FLASHBACK)
Forrier and Isobel stand stiff behind Irina, in white, and Ben in Full Army Dress. Vaughn sets up a camera on a tripod.
VAUGHN
Oh, no, Irina’s part of the family, now! That’s reason to celebrate!
ISOBEL
Here is my celebration face.
Forrier begins to chuckle. Irina loses it, too. Isobel swats at her husband, smiling.
ISOBEL (CONT’D)
(in French)
Can’t you be serious for one second?!
Ben laughs. Vaughn snaps the photograph.
INT. MARC'S HOUSE - DAY
In his room, Ben slips the photo into a corner of the dresser mirror. He pulls a slip of paper from the notebook; it reads: Nicholas Glyde, The Windwood, Sifford Heath, London RM22 1XP.
INT. SHAGGY APARTMENT - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Very low-rent. Packed with high-tech computer equipment. A NERDY DUDE passes a folder to Ben.
NERDY DUDE
Yeah. Hard to find, this one. Took me near an hour.
INT. MARC’S HOUSE - DAY
Ben shoves the paper in his pocket, clips the holster to his back belt, slips his pistol into it. His jacket hides it.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - DAY
Ben drives past rolling hills.
EXT. GLYDE MANOR - DAY
Elegant. Overlooking green fields and surrounded by trees. Barbed wire atop the brick fence. The entry gate is guarded. Ben passes.
EXT. HILLSIDE - DAY
Ben parks. Gets a case out of the boot. Takes a tiny drone and remote control from it. Starts the laptop. Links the drone camera to the laptop. Gets it flying. It whispers away.
THE DRONE FOCUSES ON THE MANOR. A classic ASTON MARTIN CONVERTIBLE in perfect condition sits near the front door. Bodyguards stroll about. Security cameras are everywhere.
The DRONE’S CAMERA ZEROES IN ON A WINDOW OF THE HOUSE to find NICHOLAS GLYDE -- 45, big and never not in control -- talking on a mobile phone as he paces in his office.
Ben smiles. HIS CAMERA SHIFTS TO THE FRONT DOOR to catch --
AURELIA GLYDE -- 20, the epitome of every young man’s dream -- exiting. Her IMAGE FREEZES.
INT. MARC’S HOUSE - NIGHT
In his room, Ben sits before the laptop. Its screen shows the same image of Aurelia. He rewinds the image to Glyde in the window. Returns to Aurelia.
INT. SHAGGY APARTMENT - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Ben flips through Nerdy Dude’s folder.
NERDY DUDE
Bastard’s got two kids. Aurelia and Auric. Idiot names from an idiot.
BEN
Both names refer to gold.
NERDY DUDE
Well, they’ve lived golden lives.
INT. MARC’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Ben watches Aurelia move in SLOW-MOTION. His expression is cruel.
------
EXT. MARINA - DAY
By London City Airport. High-end yachts. A lock gate opens and a massive cabin cruiser powers into the harbor to stop by a quay. An open lot is beside it. MARC PLOMIER -- middle-aged but youth-obsessed -- hops out to tie up the mooring.
BEN (O.S.)
Uncle Marc.
He spins to find --
Ben approaching. His hair is blond.
MARC
Ben!?
INT. CRUISER CABIN - DAY
Pristine. Well-furnished. Marc pours tea for Ben.
MARC
(French accent)
What a surprise to see you. Where have you been? How did you know I am here?
BEN
Laurent wrote me; mentioned your new boat.
MARC
How was he able to find you?
BEN
He sent the letter to my old unit’s quartermaster. He held it for me.
MARC
My son is too secretive, at times. When did he do this?
BEN
Dunno. Year ago, maybe.
MARC
And only now do you reappear?
BEN
... I only just got the letter. You like London, then?
MARC
It is too expensive, but anyplace is better than Belfast. Do you know Archer is now Superintendent? Your parents and wife are killed, thanks to him, and he moves up the ranks. Le salaeu. And then ... you vanish. Where did you go?
BEN
Here and there. I had lots to think about. But I’m back, and it’s time to get things going, again. I hoped you could help.
MARC
Nothing will please me more.
BEN
Thanks. I’m staying at a B and B in Dartford and -- .
MARC
No, no, no, you will stay with us. I will tell Lauren you’ve returned. Laurent is on holiday so you may have his room.
He pulls out a mobile phone. Ben fights a smile.
BEN
Uncle Marc, I don’t want to impose.
INT. MARC’S HOUSE - DAY
Exquisite. Overlooking The Thames. LAUREN -- 40, looks 30, thinks she’s 20 -- holds her mobile phone.
MARC (O.S.)
Ben, please. You are my sister’s son. It would insult me if you do not have use of my home.
INT. MARC'S HOUSE - DAY
Lauren leads Ben down a hall. He has a duffel bag. She motions to a door.
LAUREN
(British)
I’d put you in Laurent's room, but we’ve more than enough space, and he’s rather particular about how his things are kept.
BEN
When’s he back from holiday?
LAUREN
Sunday. You only just missed him. Here you go.
She shows him a nicely furnished room overlooking the Thames.
LAUREN (CONT’D)
Why not freshen up while I make lunch? Would you like some wine?
BEN
No, thank you, Aunt Lauren.
LAUREN
Ben ... please, it’s just Lauren.
BEN
... Lauren.
LAUREN
I’m glad to see you’re all right. When we heard you were attacked ... and then you vanished ... well ...
He tightens.
LAUREN (CONT’D)
I ... I’ll get lunch started.
She hesitates. Exits.
He drops his duffel-bag on the bed. Pulls out clothes, a laptop computer, notebook, wad of cash, a GLOCK PISTOL with ammunition and 2 extra clips, and a belt holster.
He takes a worn black & white photo from the notebook -- of him, Irina, Isobel and Forrier in front of the Country Home.
EXT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - DAY (FLASHBACK)
Forrier and Isobel stand stiff behind Irina, in white, and Ben in Full Army Dress. Vaughn sets up a camera on a tripod.
VAUGHN
Oh, no, Irina’s part of the family, now! That’s reason to celebrate!
ISOBEL
Here is my celebration face.
Forrier begins to chuckle. Irina loses it, too. Isobel swats at her husband, smiling.
ISOBEL (CONT’D)
(in French)
Can’t you be serious for one second?!
Ben laughs. Vaughn snaps the photograph.
INT. MARC'S HOUSE - DAY
In his room, Ben slips the photo into a corner of the dresser mirror. He pulls a slip of paper from the notebook; it reads: Nicholas Glyde, The Windwood, Sifford Heath, London RM22 1XP.
INT. SHAGGY APARTMENT - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Very low-rent. Packed with high-tech computer equipment. A NERDY DUDE passes a folder to Ben.
NERDY DUDE
Yeah. Hard to find, this one. Took me near an hour.
INT. MARC’S HOUSE - DAY
Ben shoves the paper in his pocket, clips the holster to his back belt, slips his pistol into it. His jacket hides it.
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - DAY
Ben drives past rolling hills.
EXT. GLYDE MANOR - DAY
Elegant. Overlooking green fields and surrounded by trees. Barbed wire atop the brick fence. The entry gate is guarded. Ben passes.
EXT. HILLSIDE - DAY
Ben parks. Gets a case out of the boot. Takes a tiny drone and remote control from it. Starts the laptop. Links the drone camera to the laptop. Gets it flying. It whispers away.
THE DRONE FOCUSES ON THE MANOR. A classic ASTON MARTIN CONVERTIBLE in perfect condition sits near the front door. Bodyguards stroll about. Security cameras are everywhere.
The DRONE’S CAMERA ZEROES IN ON A WINDOW OF THE HOUSE to find NICHOLAS GLYDE -- 45, big and never not in control -- talking on a mobile phone as he paces in his office.
Ben smiles. HIS CAMERA SHIFTS TO THE FRONT DOOR to catch --
AURELIA GLYDE -- 20, the epitome of every young man’s dream -- exiting. Her IMAGE FREEZES.
INT. MARC’S HOUSE - NIGHT
In his room, Ben sits before the laptop. Its screen shows the same image of Aurelia. He rewinds the image to Glyde in the window. Returns to Aurelia.
INT. SHAGGY APARTMENT - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Ben flips through Nerdy Dude’s folder.
NERDY DUDE
Bastard’s got two kids. Aurelia and Auric. Idiot names from an idiot.
BEN
Both names refer to gold.
NERDY DUDE
Well, they’ve lived golden lives.
INT. MARC’S HOUSE - NIGHT
Ben watches Aurelia move in SLOW-MOTION. His expression is cruel.
April 23, 2015
The opening for "Marked For Death"...
Back to work --
FADE IN:
EXT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - DAYLarge, well-kept. A black SUV waits in the driveway, a silver SUV ahead of it. ARCHER, a wary silver wolf in a suit, waits with heavily-armed PSNI (Police Service of Northern Ireland) OFFICERS.
A jaunty young CONSTABLE (in street clothes) exits the house, followed by GEORGE FORRIER, 50, urbane to the max.
FORRIER
(brogue)
Isobel, come along! We’re late.
ISOBEL, 50, the perfect mate to Forrier, strides out.
ISOBEL
(French accent)
It is Jamin who is late, by one day, and is the train ever on time?
A lovely young woman follows her -- IRINA FORRIER. She toys with a wedding ring on her finger.
IRINA
(brogue)
It will be, this time. And Ben’ll be waiting. Impatient.
FORRIER
Still loves his bride, eh? Wait till he’s married as long as me.
ISOBEL
George!
He kisses her, gets in the front passenger seat; the women are in the back. Archer and his cops get in their vehicle.
CONSTABLE
(to cops, brogue)
Want us to lead, lads?
The cops and Archer flip him off. Get in the silver SUV.
EXT. IRISH HILLSIDE - DAYA powerful SCARRED MAN lies under a bush, with binoculars. Watches the SUVs leave the Country Home. He checks printouts of photographs -- sends a text on his mobile.
HIDDEN IN A GLENThe text shows on a mobile phone -- black.
LEGION, a happy Irish sociopath, puts the phone away, turns on a small drone. Sends it flying.
EXT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - DAYThe SUVs whip through an electronic gate onto a winding road. Another Constable waves them past.
IN FORRIER’S SUVHe motions back to the gate cop.
FORRIER
That’s what you get for puttin’ your nose in other people’s business.
CONSTABLE
You were right to do it, Mr. Forrier. Mr. Archer agrees.
FORRIER
I’m glad he thinks so. What about you, Irina? You think I’m a fool?
IRINA
I think you think too much, just like your son.
FORRIER
You don’t mind living in a cage?
IRINA
Won’t be forever.
FORRIER
One can hope.
ON THE ROADThey speed on.
The drone whips behind Forrier’s SUV. Gets closer and closer.
The Constable notices.
CONSTABLE
Bloody hell ... ?
He hits the horn -- BEEP -- BEEP --
IN THE LEAD SUVArcher looks around and BOOM!
EXT. RURAL TRAIN DEPOT - DAYEmpty. The sound of the explosion echoes. A strong, good-looking young man turns -- BENJAMIN FORRIER -- BEN, as clear-eyed and impish as his father. Army duffel bag beside him. He’d carved IRINA into a post. Smoke
rises in the distance.
EXT. AFGHAN HILLSIDE - DAY
Ben drops to behind some rocks, sniper rifle in hand. He wears desert combat fatigues. He sets up, scans a desert trail through the scope. A BRITISH PATROL heads down it. All very routine.
Ben catches sight of movement in the rocks above the patrol. He punches a mike on his shoulder.
BEN
(brogue)
Sarge, it’s Forrier. Think I saw something.
The patrol scatters for shelter behind rocks.
Ben sees A TALIBAN SNIPER sniper appear from the other side of some rocks -- take quick aim.
Ben centers him in his sites. FIRES. All in one move.
The Sniper collapses.
Ben scans for more movement. Sees nothing. Taps his mike.
BEN (CONT’D)
All clear.
VAUGHN (O.S.)
(British)
Where’s the body?
BEN
Two o’clock. About a hundred meters up the hill.
VAUGHN
Good lad. Pint’s on me, tonight.
EXT. BRITISH ARMY BASE, AFGHANISTAN - NIGHTDeserted. Dark. Vaughn and Ben exit a canteen, drunk. Half-carry each other down the path. They sing.
VAUGHN AND BEN
When I was young I used to be
As fine a lad as you’d ever see, Till the Prince of Wales, he said to me,
Come join the British Army.
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra-loo,
They’re lookin’ for monkeys up in the zoo,
And if I had a face like you,
I’d join the British Army.
Ben stumbles. Vaughn laughs.
BEN
(brogue)
Shite. I gotta piss.
He stumbles into a latrine. Vaughn continues to sing “Join the British Army.”
INT. LATRINE - NIGHT
Ben pees.
SCARRED MAN (O.S.)
Forrier?
Ben looks around.
BEN
Yeah?
SCARRED MAN
Infidel!
THE SCARRED MAN APPEARS FROM THE SHADOWS -- STABS HIM!
Ben cries out -- jolts back -- falls.
VAUGHN (O.S.)
Ben? Ben!?
Ben sees blood on his hands. Sees the Scarred Man wears an Afghan Army Uniform. Ben smiles. Snarls.
BEN
C’mon, arsehole ... finish it.
VAUGHN (O.S.)
Ben!
The Scarred Man darts into a shadow. Vaughn races in.
BEN
Vaughn? No!
He tries to get up.
The Scarred Man slits his knife through Vaughn’s throat!
Ben kicks the man down. Fights him. Guts him with his own knife. Blood flies. Ben pushes his body away. Bleeding. In pain. Crawls around.
BEN (CONT’D)
... Vaughn ... aw, Christ ...
He sees Vaughn’s lifeless body. RUNNING FEET AND VOICES ARE HEARD APPROACHING. Ben passes out.
FADE IN:
EXT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - DAYLarge, well-kept. A black SUV waits in the driveway, a silver SUV ahead of it. ARCHER, a wary silver wolf in a suit, waits with heavily-armed PSNI (Police Service of Northern Ireland) OFFICERS.
A jaunty young CONSTABLE (in street clothes) exits the house, followed by GEORGE FORRIER, 50, urbane to the max.
FORRIER
(brogue)
Isobel, come along! We’re late.
ISOBEL, 50, the perfect mate to Forrier, strides out.
ISOBEL
(French accent)
It is Jamin who is late, by one day, and is the train ever on time?
A lovely young woman follows her -- IRINA FORRIER. She toys with a wedding ring on her finger.
IRINA
(brogue)
It will be, this time. And Ben’ll be waiting. Impatient.
FORRIER
Still loves his bride, eh? Wait till he’s married as long as me.
ISOBEL
George!
He kisses her, gets in the front passenger seat; the women are in the back. Archer and his cops get in their vehicle.
CONSTABLE
(to cops, brogue)
Want us to lead, lads?
The cops and Archer flip him off. Get in the silver SUV.
EXT. IRISH HILLSIDE - DAYA powerful SCARRED MAN lies under a bush, with binoculars. Watches the SUVs leave the Country Home. He checks printouts of photographs -- sends a text on his mobile.
HIDDEN IN A GLENThe text shows on a mobile phone -- black.
LEGION, a happy Irish sociopath, puts the phone away, turns on a small drone. Sends it flying.
EXT. IRISH COUNTRY HOME - DAYThe SUVs whip through an electronic gate onto a winding road. Another Constable waves them past.
IN FORRIER’S SUVHe motions back to the gate cop.
FORRIER
That’s what you get for puttin’ your nose in other people’s business.
CONSTABLE
You were right to do it, Mr. Forrier. Mr. Archer agrees.
FORRIER
I’m glad he thinks so. What about you, Irina? You think I’m a fool?
IRINA
I think you think too much, just like your son.
FORRIER
You don’t mind living in a cage?
IRINA
Won’t be forever.
FORRIER
One can hope.
ON THE ROADThey speed on.
The drone whips behind Forrier’s SUV. Gets closer and closer.
The Constable notices.
CONSTABLE
Bloody hell ... ?
He hits the horn -- BEEP -- BEEP --
IN THE LEAD SUVArcher looks around and BOOM!
EXT. RURAL TRAIN DEPOT - DAYEmpty. The sound of the explosion echoes. A strong, good-looking young man turns -- BENJAMIN FORRIER -- BEN, as clear-eyed and impish as his father. Army duffel bag beside him. He’d carved IRINA into a post. Smoke
rises in the distance.
EXT. AFGHAN HILLSIDE - DAY
Ben drops to behind some rocks, sniper rifle in hand. He wears desert combat fatigues. He sets up, scans a desert trail through the scope. A BRITISH PATROL heads down it. All very routine.
Ben catches sight of movement in the rocks above the patrol. He punches a mike on his shoulder.
BEN
(brogue)
Sarge, it’s Forrier. Think I saw something.
The patrol scatters for shelter behind rocks.
Ben sees A TALIBAN SNIPER sniper appear from the other side of some rocks -- take quick aim.
Ben centers him in his sites. FIRES. All in one move.
The Sniper collapses.
Ben scans for more movement. Sees nothing. Taps his mike.
BEN (CONT’D)
All clear.
VAUGHN (O.S.)
(British)
Where’s the body?
BEN
Two o’clock. About a hundred meters up the hill.
VAUGHN
Good lad. Pint’s on me, tonight.
EXT. BRITISH ARMY BASE, AFGHANISTAN - NIGHTDeserted. Dark. Vaughn and Ben exit a canteen, drunk. Half-carry each other down the path. They sing.
VAUGHN AND BEN
When I was young I used to be
As fine a lad as you’d ever see, Till the Prince of Wales, he said to me,
Come join the British Army.
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra-loo,
They’re lookin’ for monkeys up in the zoo,
And if I had a face like you,
I’d join the British Army.
Ben stumbles. Vaughn laughs.
BEN
(brogue)
Shite. I gotta piss.
He stumbles into a latrine. Vaughn continues to sing “Join the British Army.”
INT. LATRINE - NIGHT
Ben pees.
SCARRED MAN (O.S.)
Forrier?
Ben looks around.
BEN
Yeah?
SCARRED MAN
Infidel!
THE SCARRED MAN APPEARS FROM THE SHADOWS -- STABS HIM!
Ben cries out -- jolts back -- falls.
VAUGHN (O.S.)
Ben? Ben!?
Ben sees blood on his hands. Sees the Scarred Man wears an Afghan Army Uniform. Ben smiles. Snarls.
BEN
C’mon, arsehole ... finish it.
VAUGHN (O.S.)
Ben!
The Scarred Man darts into a shadow. Vaughn races in.
BEN
Vaughn? No!
He tries to get up.
The Scarred Man slits his knife through Vaughn’s throat!
Ben kicks the man down. Fights him. Guts him with his own knife. Blood flies. Ben pushes his body away. Bleeding. In pain. Crawls around.
BEN (CONT’D)
... Vaughn ... aw, Christ ...
He sees Vaughn’s lifeless body. RUNNING FEET AND VOICES ARE HEARD APPROACHING. Ben passes out.
April 19, 2015
Dominoes...
One change begets another change begets another...and so on and so forth. Ben winds up in Afghanistan after his family is killed, which sets up actions later in the story much better. I'm still having some trouble with MFD's timeline of events, but they're not as obscure as they were.
I was reminded of a song I loved, back when I was in 8th grade -- Sukiyaki. The true title of it is Ue O Muite Arukou and the lyrics are elegant...if sad. The singer, Kyu Sakamoto, was so cute...and so tragic. He died in a JAL plane crash in 1985, the worst single-plane disaster ever.
Here's the original version...made in 1962 but not released in the US till 1963. The only Japanese song to hit #1 in Billboard's Top 100. I first heard it 3 years later, when we lived in El Paso.
God, that year was hell on earth, and may well be why I still do not like the desert. Because that's all El Paso is. This song was the only thing I remember as being nice...well, that and having a skunk as a pet. Sort of. Posey never was completely domesticated, and she loved to shit in corners of the closet, so I had to go in to clean it out. She finally ran away, one night. I was both sorry and not.
I also used to slip over to Juarez on the trolley with a friend of mine -- Danny? If you gave a guy a US dollar, he'd buy you beers and keep the change. That and real tamales, you were set. And my folks never knew. They thought I was going to the movies.
I did see a couple of good Godzilla films, in El Paso...and a Mothra. At a downtown theater. But for the most part my memories are of dealing with roving packs of bullies at school, teachers who didn't care or made fun of my still-British accent and spelling, and my first B in Art (I'd always had As before then). I was so glad to be leaving, even going to Grand Forks, North Dakota sounded good.
And it was; the base had a little theater group. And I joined. And then promptly got ripped away and sent back to San Antonio.
That's when I began to believe you really have no control over your life.
I was reminded of a song I loved, back when I was in 8th grade -- Sukiyaki. The true title of it is Ue O Muite Arukou and the lyrics are elegant...if sad. The singer, Kyu Sakamoto, was so cute...and so tragic. He died in a JAL plane crash in 1985, the worst single-plane disaster ever.
Here's the original version...made in 1962 but not released in the US till 1963. The only Japanese song to hit #1 in Billboard's Top 100. I first heard it 3 years later, when we lived in El Paso.
God, that year was hell on earth, and may well be why I still do not like the desert. Because that's all El Paso is. This song was the only thing I remember as being nice...well, that and having a skunk as a pet. Sort of. Posey never was completely domesticated, and she loved to shit in corners of the closet, so I had to go in to clean it out. She finally ran away, one night. I was both sorry and not.
I also used to slip over to Juarez on the trolley with a friend of mine -- Danny? If you gave a guy a US dollar, he'd buy you beers and keep the change. That and real tamales, you were set. And my folks never knew. They thought I was going to the movies.
I did see a couple of good Godzilla films, in El Paso...and a Mothra. At a downtown theater. But for the most part my memories are of dealing with roving packs of bullies at school, teachers who didn't care or made fun of my still-British accent and spelling, and my first B in Art (I'd always had As before then). I was so glad to be leaving, even going to Grand Forks, North Dakota sounded good.
And it was; the base had a little theater group. And I joined. And then promptly got ripped away and sent back to San Antonio.
That's when I began to believe you really have no control over your life.
April 18, 2015
One change destroys...
I lost my ending to Marked For Death. A lovely shootout in a room full of computer servers. By shifting the story to London, it no longer made sense without me going through all sorts of explanations that would be boring, at best. So now I have to come up with a new ending that achieves the same goal.
This may be better because it'll have to be out in the open, no place to hide from a gunfight, with CCTV cameras all over. I'll need to be way more creative. As of now, I'm not quite there. Hell, I'm not even in the same postal code.
Ben's helping. One scene I'd set in a marina by London's City Airport didn't work till he and I went looking for something better. And found it. Now it makes total sense and helps explain one aspect of the story without a lot of exposition.
This is kind of odd...using a real man named Ben to model one of my characters, who's also named Ben. It's informing on him a bit. My Ben's father's Jewish but his mother's Catholic, so officially speaking he's not Jewish.
Ben Cohen's family name is Jewish but they haven't been for a couple generations. Which doesn't really surprise me; I knew a man named Markowitz in LA who was Catholic. Plus even though BC's a big buff rugby player (one mean-assed sport) he comes across as so tender and sweet and happy, you can't help but like him.
He's clinically deaf, so that may have something to do with his temperament. I've found people with partial disabilities tend to be more caring and understanding of the limitations of others. But also has a lot to do with his upbringing. His father was killed defending someone from an attack in the club he managed, in 2000.
I hope my Ben is worthy of Rugby Ben.
This may be better because it'll have to be out in the open, no place to hide from a gunfight, with CCTV cameras all over. I'll need to be way more creative. As of now, I'm not quite there. Hell, I'm not even in the same postal code.
Ben's helping. One scene I'd set in a marina by London's City Airport didn't work till he and I went looking for something better. And found it. Now it makes total sense and helps explain one aspect of the story without a lot of exposition.This is kind of odd...using a real man named Ben to model one of my characters, who's also named Ben. It's informing on him a bit. My Ben's father's Jewish but his mother's Catholic, so officially speaking he's not Jewish.
Ben Cohen's family name is Jewish but they haven't been for a couple generations. Which doesn't really surprise me; I knew a man named Markowitz in LA who was Catholic. Plus even though BC's a big buff rugby player (one mean-assed sport) he comes across as so tender and sweet and happy, you can't help but like him.
He's clinically deaf, so that may have something to do with his temperament. I've found people with partial disabilities tend to be more caring and understanding of the limitations of others. But also has a lot to do with his upbringing. His father was killed defending someone from an attack in the club he managed, in 2000.
I hope my Ben is worthy of Rugby Ben.
