Kyle Michel Sullivan's Blog: https://www.myirishnovel.com/, page 234
February 13, 2015
Jake is too real to me...
I think I've reached that stage in my writing life where my characters are more real than the real people I know. Especially Jake, since I've spent so much time inhabiting his brain...or him inhabiting mine. I honestly don't know which, right now.
I was at CVS to pick up a prescription (I'm on Cipro, again, this time for 30 days because the infection is not completely gone) and it wasn't ready, yet. I couldn't wait so headed out to go to work and I was hungry and I saw that evil row of candy by the register...and forgot what was reality, for a moment. I actually said in my head (not out loud, thank god...at least, I don't it was), "Dude, you want to half a Baby Ruth?" "C'mon, you know I don't do candy. But if you wanna share a DP..."
So I bought a DP, instead. I decided not to buy a Baby Ruth because CVS only had the double-size one and I didn't want that much, but Jake wouldn't eat any of it so I didn't want to waste it. I didn't notice what I'd done till I went back to CVS, after work, to get that prescription and it hit me -- I'd acted like Jake was a living, breathing, body-inhabiting person, and I felt very, VERY much like Daniel in The Lyons' Den, when he's arguing with his fictional character, Ace.
I wonder if other authors have moments like this. Does Stephen King chat with his creepy characters? Did Steinbeck or Hemingway? Did Tolstoy have conversations with Levin or Pierre? Or...am I just plain sliding into serious schizophrenia? Who knows, anymore? I sure as hell don't.
And now Jake is laughing at me, the little shit.[image error]
I was at CVS to pick up a prescription (I'm on Cipro, again, this time for 30 days because the infection is not completely gone) and it wasn't ready, yet. I couldn't wait so headed out to go to work and I was hungry and I saw that evil row of candy by the register...and forgot what was reality, for a moment. I actually said in my head (not out loud, thank god...at least, I don't it was), "Dude, you want to half a Baby Ruth?" "C'mon, you know I don't do candy. But if you wanna share a DP..."
So I bought a DP, instead. I decided not to buy a Baby Ruth because CVS only had the double-size one and I didn't want that much, but Jake wouldn't eat any of it so I didn't want to waste it. I didn't notice what I'd done till I went back to CVS, after work, to get that prescription and it hit me -- I'd acted like Jake was a living, breathing, body-inhabiting person, and I felt very, VERY much like Daniel in The Lyons' Den, when he's arguing with his fictional character, Ace.
I wonder if other authors have moments like this. Does Stephen King chat with his creepy characters? Did Steinbeck or Hemingway? Did Tolstoy have conversations with Levin or Pierre? Or...am I just plain sliding into serious schizophrenia? Who knows, anymore? I sure as hell don't.
And now Jake is laughing at me, the little shit.[image error]
February 12, 2015
More Alex...just for the hell of it...
My favorite shot of him.And let me note -- I've never been big on ink; my stepfather had tattoos and I saw how ugly they can get after a certain age. But on this guy...well, they're not just for self-aggrandizement. Many of them are to cover the scars he was left with. And somehow they add to his bright personality.
He's become the model for Zeke in Carli's Kills...missing leg and all...
A Real American Hero
Alex Minsky was a Marine in Afghanistan when he got hit by an IED. Tore him up. But he was still able to get from this...
...to this...
...and have an attitude that sings. He does everything he can to empower people, even though he lost half his right leg.
But who gets a movie made about him? A sniper who, by some accounts, was close to psychotic.
Talk about f**ked up.
...to this...
...and have an attitude that sings. He does everything he can to empower people, even though he lost half his right leg.But who gets a movie made about him? A sniper who, by some accounts, was close to psychotic.
Talk about f**ked up.
February 11, 2015
Not a minimalist, am I...
I printed up a copy of The Vanishing of Owen Taylor, and it's 540 pages long. Over 119,000 words. If I dropped it on someone's foot, I'd break a toe or crush their arch. Wild. I'll let it sit for a couple days then get onto it this weekend for the final polish.
I have to admit, I'm amazed I got to this point, the way the story kept shifting on me. It's still not completely settled down, but my only real concerns are with detail work and whether or not I should cut a sub-plot. My goal now is clarity and consistency; I've got Jake's voice set and the flow of the story works...at least, it does for me. Just need to maintain.
It's funny, but most of my screenplays wound up being just around 105 pages long, plus or minus a few. My longest one, currently, is 135 pages while the shortest one I did was 80 pages, mainly of action. I guess I do like digging into the characters' minds, and revealing their meaning is a lot easier in a novel than in a script. I still think cinematically, but the complexity of guys like Jake and Curt makes up for that in a lot of ways.
I used to think I was just being lazy and scared doing screenwriting, like I was relying on other people to help my work come to fruition. In reality, it was just my shirking my responsibility to the story and characters. I'm still nowhere near as good as I want to be, as a writer, but I can now see a path towards fulfillment. Even if my books don't sell well. At least with these, I can't say I'm shirking anything. I'm whining and arguing and bitching like crazy, but not shirking. How To Rape A Straight Guy and Bobby Carapisi are proof of that. I can honestly say, I write what I want to write and fuck everything else.
Hmm...maybe there is some tiger in me.
I have to admit, I'm amazed I got to this point, the way the story kept shifting on me. It's still not completely settled down, but my only real concerns are with detail work and whether or not I should cut a sub-plot. My goal now is clarity and consistency; I've got Jake's voice set and the flow of the story works...at least, it does for me. Just need to maintain.
It's funny, but most of my screenplays wound up being just around 105 pages long, plus or minus a few. My longest one, currently, is 135 pages while the shortest one I did was 80 pages, mainly of action. I guess I do like digging into the characters' minds, and revealing their meaning is a lot easier in a novel than in a script. I still think cinematically, but the complexity of guys like Jake and Curt makes up for that in a lot of ways.
I used to think I was just being lazy and scared doing screenwriting, like I was relying on other people to help my work come to fruition. In reality, it was just my shirking my responsibility to the story and characters. I'm still nowhere near as good as I want to be, as a writer, but I can now see a path towards fulfillment. Even if my books don't sell well. At least with these, I can't say I'm shirking anything. I'm whining and arguing and bitching like crazy, but not shirking. How To Rape A Straight Guy and Bobby Carapisi are proof of that. I can honestly say, I write what I want to write and fuck everything else.
Hmm...maybe there is some tiger in me.February 10, 2015
"Blood Angel" returns to the fore...
An agent wants to read BA to see about representing me. Sort of came out of nowhere...though I guess I might have contacted them, once upon a time and they just took a while to get back to me. Anyway, it nudged me into reworking the ending with an idea I once had for it. I don't expect much from this, but you never know.
It's funny, but the ending of BA is totally different from what I thought it would be when the story first came to me. Initially, I was going to set it in St. Louis and do a play on the legend of Tristan and Isolde. Not Wagner's version but the earlier stories that influenced the idea of Lancelot and Guinevere in the Arthurian stories...albeit with a tragic end. Tristan would die and Gabrielle would let herself be destroyed by walking into the sunrise.
Hmm...maybe more Wagner-esque than I'm willing to admit.
But the story never would sit right. I tried New Orleans but that was too Anne Rice-ish. I considered LA's Latino Jazz scene, with Tristan being a cool cat with a horn...but that wasn't it, either. Neither was Miami and the Caribbean rhythm. Then Katrina slammed into New Orleans, and the vultures came out to pick on the bones of the dying city...and I found my way in.
The script's done well in competitions -- winning or placing well in nearly a dozen. But it's not a vampires are cool story, nor is it Buffy... redux. It's got some serious sex in it, and is borderline non-PC thanks to Dmitriy, Gabrielle's vampire companion, being gay and vicious. I've got another gay character in it to mitigate that, but it's still pretty harsh.
What's harsher is Gabrielle and her plan to seduce Tristan into becoming like her, even though it means giving up everything he loves. Including his music. Their encounters are as erotic as you can get without it being porno. I used Almodovar's Matador as my guideline, there.
I worked my ass off to get this script going. Blew several thousand dollars of my 401K money. Went to Austin's Film Festival and networked and did seminars and workshops...hell, I paid to have a budget worked up and business plan developed to show how it could make a good bit of cash. Did storyboards for a couple scenes. I was even pimping Jonathan Togo and Christina Ricci as possible leads, to give people the visuals (emphasis on possible, since I hadn't made contact with either one of them). But it didn't fit any ready-made niches, and so it didn't fly. I guess. That, or I really seriously suck at selling anything.
I may make it into a book...I dunno. I'll see what happens with this agent. But it's low on the priority list, right now. I want to finish OT and The Alice 65 and Bugzters and Underground Guy before I focus on that.
Still, thinking about it makes me sad...because I know it would've been a good, sexy film.
It's funny, but the ending of BA is totally different from what I thought it would be when the story first came to me. Initially, I was going to set it in St. Louis and do a play on the legend of Tristan and Isolde. Not Wagner's version but the earlier stories that influenced the idea of Lancelot and Guinevere in the Arthurian stories...albeit with a tragic end. Tristan would die and Gabrielle would let herself be destroyed by walking into the sunrise.
Hmm...maybe more Wagner-esque than I'm willing to admit.
But the story never would sit right. I tried New Orleans but that was too Anne Rice-ish. I considered LA's Latino Jazz scene, with Tristan being a cool cat with a horn...but that wasn't it, either. Neither was Miami and the Caribbean rhythm. Then Katrina slammed into New Orleans, and the vultures came out to pick on the bones of the dying city...and I found my way in.
The script's done well in competitions -- winning or placing well in nearly a dozen. But it's not a vampires are cool story, nor is it Buffy... redux. It's got some serious sex in it, and is borderline non-PC thanks to Dmitriy, Gabrielle's vampire companion, being gay and vicious. I've got another gay character in it to mitigate that, but it's still pretty harsh.
What's harsher is Gabrielle and her plan to seduce Tristan into becoming like her, even though it means giving up everything he loves. Including his music. Their encounters are as erotic as you can get without it being porno. I used Almodovar's Matador as my guideline, there.
I worked my ass off to get this script going. Blew several thousand dollars of my 401K money. Went to Austin's Film Festival and networked and did seminars and workshops...hell, I paid to have a budget worked up and business plan developed to show how it could make a good bit of cash. Did storyboards for a couple scenes. I was even pimping Jonathan Togo and Christina Ricci as possible leads, to give people the visuals (emphasis on possible, since I hadn't made contact with either one of them). But it didn't fit any ready-made niches, and so it didn't fly. I guess. That, or I really seriously suck at selling anything.I may make it into a book...I dunno. I'll see what happens with this agent. But it's low on the priority list, right now. I want to finish OT and The Alice 65 and Bugzters and Underground Guy before I focus on that.
Still, thinking about it makes me sad...because I know it would've been a good, sexy film.
February 9, 2015
Green water...
Seems the water in Miami has a hint of a green tint to it. Dunno what the cause is, but it's one more reason never to use tap water, anywhere. Especially when it's not simple and clear. Make you sicker than sick...even if all you do is brush your teeth in it.
It's weird, but Miami feels like another country. It's warm and humid and has the kind of rain that comes straight down and is warm, like Houston, Honolulu, and Bangkok. I got nicely soaked just walking from the warehouse to my car. Fortunately, I realized long ago that I won't melt, no matter how much like the wicked witch of the west I behave.
I didn't do any sight-seeing. The city does not really interest me. The downtown area reminds me of Matamoros, Mexico, down by Brownsville. Tight streets smelling of piss and garbage. I guess I could have hopped over to South Beach, again, but why? I've been there and wasn't all that impressed. I guess I'd feel different if I were into clubbing, but I stopped that years ago.
Instead I went back to Fort Lauderdale's silly airport and had a late lunch, then worked on OT till time for my flight. I'm redoing the last 100 pages, again...and again until I feel they do the job. This is where everything comes together and it needs to be understood. Who knows if it works, but still...I'm working at it.
Next week is a day trip to Dayton, then the week after is Lisbon. Then who knows what's next?
Not me, that's fer dang shure...
It's weird, but Miami feels like another country. It's warm and humid and has the kind of rain that comes straight down and is warm, like Houston, Honolulu, and Bangkok. I got nicely soaked just walking from the warehouse to my car. Fortunately, I realized long ago that I won't melt, no matter how much like the wicked witch of the west I behave.
I didn't do any sight-seeing. The city does not really interest me. The downtown area reminds me of Matamoros, Mexico, down by Brownsville. Tight streets smelling of piss and garbage. I guess I could have hopped over to South Beach, again, but why? I've been there and wasn't all that impressed. I guess I'd feel different if I were into clubbing, but I stopped that years ago.
Instead I went back to Fort Lauderdale's silly airport and had a late lunch, then worked on OT till time for my flight. I'm redoing the last 100 pages, again...and again until I feel they do the job. This is where everything comes together and it needs to be understood. Who knows if it works, but still...I'm working at it.
Next week is a day trip to Dayton, then the week after is Lisbon. Then who knows what's next?
Not me, that's fer dang shure...
February 8, 2015
Miami
Reminds me of Bangkok and Hong Kong, for some reason. Maybe it's the narrow downtown streets. Or the 7/11 every block or so -- 7/11s that do NOT sell DR. Pepper!!!!!! AAAAIIIIGHH! Or the heat in the middle of winter. Or the junky shops and off-beat restaurants. I dunno. It's just a mess.
Of course, I haven't had much chance to see anything, yet. I spent nearly 2 hours on the 95 South to go 2 miles; 4 out of 5 lanes were closed, for some reason, and the crews were taking everything apart when I finally got to the blockage point. So I got to the job just in time. That's what I get for staying in Fort Lauderdale overnight...albeit for free.
I got more work done on OT, at least. The killer is set, and seems to get away with it. In a way. Jake's not out for justice; he's out to end the situation, so he gets to be as hard-assed and sneaky as his father. He also confronts some of his own demons -- like some of the things he did in prison in order to survive, things that eat at him.
Jake's got his flaws and attitudes, but I like how he's turning out. He's a complex creature, once I'd love to know. And he's crazy as hell. The big reveal happens while he's stoned out of his mind and giggling through it all...god, I hope that works. I figure one more pass to make sure I haven't contradicted myself or lost the thread of the story, in any way, then it's begging for feedback.
More snow in Buffalo...how nice...
Of course, I haven't had much chance to see anything, yet. I spent nearly 2 hours on the 95 South to go 2 miles; 4 out of 5 lanes were closed, for some reason, and the crews were taking everything apart when I finally got to the blockage point. So I got to the job just in time. That's what I get for staying in Fort Lauderdale overnight...albeit for free.
I got more work done on OT, at least. The killer is set, and seems to get away with it. In a way. Jake's not out for justice; he's out to end the situation, so he gets to be as hard-assed and sneaky as his father. He also confronts some of his own demons -- like some of the things he did in prison in order to survive, things that eat at him.
Jake's got his flaws and attitudes, but I like how he's turning out. He's a complex creature, once I'd love to know. And he's crazy as hell. The big reveal happens while he's stoned out of his mind and giggling through it all...god, I hope that works. I figure one more pass to make sure I haven't contradicted myself or lost the thread of the story, in any way, then it's begging for feedback.
More snow in Buffalo...how nice...
February 7, 2015
Russell Tovey being adorable
I don't know what show this is from, but I have to share it -- he's so damned cute...
This will probably wind up as an Adam & Casey moment in The Alice '65.
This will probably wind up as an Adam & Casey moment in The Alice '65.
Decision time...
The problem with most authors isn't procrastination (though that is a serious issue, at times); it's making up your mind. You get a story going, get the characters to work with you on it, listen to their suggestions and input, start honing the story...and then suddenly you're faced with the reality that once it's done, it's done and you fall into the trap of, "Am I making the right choices here?" "Am I going too far or have I become lost in obscurity?" "Am I hearing things right from my characters?"
I mean, I know that's the way it works for me. Because I rarely know what's going to be in the story before I start it. I have a vague idea and a folder filled with notes of possibilities, but nothing solid except in the back of my scrambled brain.
I've heard of authors who outline the story beforehand and then everything else is fitted to it. I can't work like that; it bores me. I've tried, and I lose interest about halfway through. Granted, it makes for chaos in my mind as I write, and a lot of wasted effort, I suppose, since I wind up with hundreds of pages that get tossed aside...like with OT when it started solidifying itself...though many of those are due to my tendency towards Hollywood-style melodrama, something Jake is not about to let me get away with.
I cannot think of a story I've written (that I like how it turned out) where I've done a full outline, first. I think the closest I came was Find Ray T, and that was just a quickie list of things I wanted in the script. Plus I was buzzed when I did the first draft of it, so that was probably a good thing to do in order to keep my loopiness on target. Same for Blood Angel. It wasn't till Katrina that I was able to find a way into that story...and then it all but wrote itself...including an ending that goes against the grain of romance.
I usually just dive into the story once I have the characters and let it build from there. Such is the life of this author. But somehow it seems to work out. When I started writing HTRASG, I was fairly certain the ending would be tragic, but in what way or with which character dying was beyond me. Then the whole thing swooped into Curt protecting Shayes after destroying him. Totally unplanned...but it made for a much better ending, and it really messes people up. I've had reviews on GoodReads for that book where they can't believe they felt pity or concern for a man who is, essentially, a serial rapist. Made me very proud.
With OT, I was trying to avoid the obvious and repetitive, as regards who the killer is, but I couldn't weasel around it in a way that made sense. So...I changed it back and just hope it works. All I can say now is, it fits. And it's brutal. And I have no idea why it went that way. But it is what it is.
Whether or not it looks good is yet to be told.[image error]
I mean, I know that's the way it works for me. Because I rarely know what's going to be in the story before I start it. I have a vague idea and a folder filled with notes of possibilities, but nothing solid except in the back of my scrambled brain.
I've heard of authors who outline the story beforehand and then everything else is fitted to it. I can't work like that; it bores me. I've tried, and I lose interest about halfway through. Granted, it makes for chaos in my mind as I write, and a lot of wasted effort, I suppose, since I wind up with hundreds of pages that get tossed aside...like with OT when it started solidifying itself...though many of those are due to my tendency towards Hollywood-style melodrama, something Jake is not about to let me get away with.
I cannot think of a story I've written (that I like how it turned out) where I've done a full outline, first. I think the closest I came was Find Ray T, and that was just a quickie list of things I wanted in the script. Plus I was buzzed when I did the first draft of it, so that was probably a good thing to do in order to keep my loopiness on target. Same for Blood Angel. It wasn't till Katrina that I was able to find a way into that story...and then it all but wrote itself...including an ending that goes against the grain of romance.
I usually just dive into the story once I have the characters and let it build from there. Such is the life of this author. But somehow it seems to work out. When I started writing HTRASG, I was fairly certain the ending would be tragic, but in what way or with which character dying was beyond me. Then the whole thing swooped into Curt protecting Shayes after destroying him. Totally unplanned...but it made for a much better ending, and it really messes people up. I've had reviews on GoodReads for that book where they can't believe they felt pity or concern for a man who is, essentially, a serial rapist. Made me very proud.
With OT, I was trying to avoid the obvious and repetitive, as regards who the killer is, but I couldn't weasel around it in a way that made sense. So...I changed it back and just hope it works. All I can say now is, it fits. And it's brutal. And I have no idea why it went that way. But it is what it is.
Whether or not it looks good is yet to be told.[image error]
February 6, 2015
ARGH!!! As Charlie Brown would say...
OT just changed the killer on me, again. And it's irritating as hell because I don't know what works, anymore. If this one's right or that one or even if the direction it's going is correct. Maddening, is this creative process...because half the time you're wondering if you're creating crap instead of magic.
I'll have to decide. I can't keep bouncing around like this. It's just I know that something's wrong somewhere in the story, since it's being so indecisive, and I've no idea what that is, yet. I do know the final chapter is pretty tight and right. It's the two before that making my life hell.
I'm headed down to Miami, tomorrow. Since the weather's so cold and snowy, and going to get more-so on Sunday, I decided to not take the chance of my 7:45 am flight being cancelled and head down on a day early. I've got points enough to get a hotel room at La Quinta, and I was already into a car for 2 days, and Jet Blue let me change without a penalty due to concerns about the weather. So I spend some of Sunday in Fort Lauderdale and have a nice easy drive down to the venue, on Sunday.
I hope. I can just see this going completely wrong, like my Hong Kong flight, did. But then again, maybe I'll have time to visit Rodiney Santiago...
That's be fun...
I'll have to decide. I can't keep bouncing around like this. It's just I know that something's wrong somewhere in the story, since it's being so indecisive, and I've no idea what that is, yet. I do know the final chapter is pretty tight and right. It's the two before that making my life hell.
I'm headed down to Miami, tomorrow. Since the weather's so cold and snowy, and going to get more-so on Sunday, I decided to not take the chance of my 7:45 am flight being cancelled and head down on a day early. I've got points enough to get a hotel room at La Quinta, and I was already into a car for 2 days, and Jet Blue let me change without a penalty due to concerns about the weather. So I spend some of Sunday in Fort Lauderdale and have a nice easy drive down to the venue, on Sunday.
I hope. I can just see this going completely wrong, like my Hong Kong flight, did. But then again, maybe I'll have time to visit Rodiney Santiago...
That's be fun...
