Debmita Dutta's Blog, page 86

My favorite people at the pujo are the Dhaakis

My favorite people at the pujo are the Dhaakis

I am attracted to their simplicity and their positive energy throughout the 5 day festival. 

They have so little and they give so much. 

This year they will have even less. 

They will probably not even have food on their plates. 

I am sure all of us want to help them. 

On behalf of https://www.facebook.com/groups/1548109662026731/?ref=share

I have been trying to reach them and connect with them so that we can find a way to contribute to them. 

Unfortunately I have not succeeded. 

Every time I have ended up with middle men.... And I don't want to stop at that bottle neck. 

If you are connected with a group of dhaakis.... Please connect me. 

We can ask them to perform for us on our platform via a video recorded on their mobile phones. 
And then show our happiness via our generous donations. 

That will give them 
A livelihood
Dignity
And faith in their creativity. 

Please connect me if you can.

A Dad calls me.... He talks with great pain

A Dad calls me.... He talks with great pain about how he has missed out on his son's toddler hood because of the demands of his job. 

A Mom relates the painful story of how she was torn between wanting to breastfeed her crying toddler all night .... And needing to sleep because she had to go to work the next day. 

The mom of a 5 year old calls me in tears. She is being blamed by the whole family for her toddlers anger issues. 

The father of a teenager tells me with a heavy heart how his son is addicted to devices and how he feels helpless in the face of that addiction. 

These are parents who are stressed and depressed 

And they are not alone. 

The parenting journey is challenging and when things go wrong it fills one with guilt and fear. 

Today is world mental health day. 

If you are struggling with parenting.... I appeal to you.... To reach out for help. 

It takes very little effort to turn your unhappy situation into a happy one. 

All you need to know is what to do. 

Connect if you need help.
A Dad calls me.... He talks with great pain about how he has missed out on his son's toddler hood because of the demands of his job. 

A Mom relates the painful story of how she was torn between wanting to breastfeed her crying toddler all night .... And needing to sleep because she had to go to work the next day. 

The mom of a 5 year old calls me in tears. She is being blamed by the whole family for her toddlers anger issues. 

The father of a teenager tells me with a heavy heart how his son is addicted to devices and how he feels helpless in the face of that addiction. 

These are parents who are stressed and depressed 

And they are not alone. 

The parenting journey is challenging and when things go wrong it fills one with guilt and fear. 

Today is world mental health day. 

If you are struggling with parenting.... I appeal to you.... To reach out for help. 

It takes very little effort to turn your unhappy situation into a happy one. 

All you need to know is what to do. 

Connect if you need help.

The students participated enthusiastically and asked lots of questions

I loved conducting this workshop for the students of Trio World Academy yesterday.

The workshop was called "A Strategic Approach to Online Learning"

And the students participated enthusiastically and asked lots of questions.

I have always loved the Trio World Academy for their approach to learning. 

They realize that challenges will crop up through the learning journey. 
They are constantly vigilant and detect challenges as soon as they crop up. 
And they take action to overcome these challenges instantly 

I was delighted when the school reached out to me to help the children formulate a strategy for learning online.

Yes. A strategy is essential.

Because online learning is NOT difficult. It is just DIFFERENT.

And it requires a different learning strategy from the one that students have been using all these years because the challenges are different.

Putting in hard work without having a strategy in place can only lead to massive disappointments because of inevitable failure.

It was a pleasure to able to build this strategy yesterday with the students using hard core neuro science as the basis for decision making.

If you want your child to be responsible online

If you want your child to be responsible online
You must start by being responsible online yourself. 
Think about what you post and share online. 
Are you respecting your child's privacy? 
Are you setting a good example?

​

When you make a mistake

When you make a mistake
Say sorry
And mean it
You will be forgiven
Mistakes will happen. And children realize that. They don't mind as long as you apologize sincerely

​

Honestly - I don't know what else to say.

Whaaat?????

Yes. 

That is what I have been saying in response to statements like the ones below by the daughter....

"I was very hungry - so I drank a glass of milk"

"I am going to sleep - it is already 8:30 PM"

Honestly - I don't know what else to say.

She gave up on milk about 2 years ago - and we let it go. We just made sure she was eating other calcium rich food.

She fought and fought with us to move her bed time from 8 PM to 10 PM when she turned 13. 

At the fag end of the day - we had no energy left to fight - so we let it go. We would allow her to sleep in on the weekends.

And now suddenly - there is this 180 degree pivot.

And that is why I have nothing to say beyond "Whaaaat???"

But I am also smiling inside as I say this.

We are patting ourselves on the back for being consistent with routines (in this case continuing to sleep at 9 ourselves when she didn't ) 

and 

following healthy eating habits at home (in this case - showing her that growing older is not license to drink unhealthy drinks - and sticking to milk and water ourselves)

And she is BACK!!!

It's time to celebrate

​

Quoted in a New York based Juggernaut magazine

#Quoted in a New York based digital publication by the name of Juggernaut magazine. 
Many of you may have heard of it. 
The magazine targets the South Asian audience in the United States. A very large community. 
And this article is about the practice of co-sleeping which is the prevalent practice in India and other South Asian nations... But is regard with disdain and suspicion in the United States. 
In my opinion... Co-sleeping is perfectly fine if both the parents and the child want it. 
In addition children may vacillate between wanting to sleep with the parents and wanting to sleep alone.... And that should be accommodated as much as possible. 
Because children cannot say "I am anxious" Or "I am being bullied" Or "I am feeling scared" 
They can only say.... Can I sleep with you tonight? 
It is important to remember that we are most vulnerable when we sleep and we want to sleep in the safest place possible. 
And when we feel unsafe we want the comfort of our parents bed. 
It is a mistake to discard a cultural practice that is centuries old.. .. Without examining it thoroughly. 
And as attachment parenting becomes the rage in the United States... We must remember how attached we have always been.
The only scenario in which co-sleeping may be harmful is when the parent insists on the child sleeping with them and comes in the way of natural separation. 
Using children to fulfill our emotional needs is not right. 
We must find other ways to satisfy our own needs.

​

I know a lot of teens and preteens

I know a lot of teens and preteens

And what stands out for me through this lockdown is the fact that every teen I know is involved in doing something constructive and creative

None of them are whiling away their time - or sticking to devices all day

But that is the general perception about teenagers isn't it?

That they are not motivated - they are not focused - they are lazy - they are device addicts

I think we need to know our teens better.

What do you say?

The challenge however is that teens change so rapidly from week to week that when we are busy with our everyday lives - we often miss out on who they are becoming - who they are changing into.

That is why I have created this 8 point checklist for every week.

Tick off these 8 things every week as you do these tasks - and you will be able to to keep pace with who your teen is turning into

Do share if you have any suggestions

And let me know how it goes

The world changes….people do - perceptions do.

The world changes….people do - perceptions do.

Children brought up to think that there is absolutely no difference between boys and girls think so differently – it is hilarious.

So – some days ago my daughter was studying about the purdah system.

She read that when women wanted to speak to men they stood behind a wall with holes. From there they could see the men while they spoke to them – without being seen themselves.

How fair is that? She asked indignantly.

If the men can’t see the women – the women should not be allowed to see the men either!

We are all human beings – and everyone is equal and has equal rights – we have always taught her – with hilarious results

​

When LOVE arrives at your doorstep on Sunday morning

When LOVE arrives at your doorstep on Sunday morning ........

It comes in a brown paper bag that says TinniGinni and Griham

And the bearer says Srobona Madam ne bheja hai.

I wanted to hug you Srobona for making my Sunday so happy....
but I couldn't ....

So I hugged the bag with the yummmmm breakfast.

Bedmi puri....ras wale aloo ki sabji.....kheer......

A heavenly spread!!!

The authentic taste reminded me of my days in UP.

Thank you for the birthday treat.

LOVE YOU !!!