Debmita Dutta's Blog, page 82

And I want my daughter to believe in magic forever like I do

Merry Christmas!! 

Do you believe in Santa Claus? I do. And I encourage my teenager to believe too. 

There is something so magical about the image of a jolly old man coming around spreading love and laughter. 

And I want my daughter to believe in magic forever like I do. 

I want her heart to jump with joy at the sight of the red and white costume. Just like mine does. 

Fantasy keeps us going when things are difficult. And I love the Santa Claus fantasy. 

There's only one thing that I steadfastly steer clear of... And I said this in an interview with the Indian Express last year. 

I think it is wrong to tell children that they will be judged on their behavior before Santa gives them gifts. 

Gifts are a symbol of love. And love must be unconditional. 

Here is my quote from the Indian Express. 

Do you agree?

Choose gifts that raise self-esteem

On Christmas Eve... 

Can you resist the urge to buy your child a gift? 

No. 

A gift is a symbol of love. 

And when every child. Is being showered with love - in the form of gifts

There is no way you can make your child feel unloved by not giving a gift. 

All of us will give gifts because we want our children to feel good about themselves. 

But when we choose gifts it is important to ensure that we create a long term feel good in the form of self-esteem - instead of a short term feel good. 

Choose gifts that raise self-esteem

Self-esteem rises by -
1. Overcoming a challenge like by solving a jigsaw puzzle
2. Learning a new skill like learning how to skate / waveboard
3. Caring like caring for a doll or a soft toy

Most children have suffered a huge drop in self-esteem because of staying home through the pandemic. 

Choose a gift that will bring it back. 

PC: Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

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And it makes them feel unsuccessful and depressed

Published in Addicted2Success(@addicted2success)

My article "3 Keys to balancing work and parenting while working from home"

It is painful to choose between making a living and giving love... But every day I meet a lot of parents who are compelled to constantly make that choice while working from home.

And it makes them feel unsuccessful and depressed.

It is hard to feel successful when you haven't been able to get your work for the day done.

It is hard to feel successful when you have been distracted through an important meeting.

And for many parents... Feeling exhausted, unsuccessful and incompetent has become part of every day life through the pandemic.

Unfortunately a person who feels incompetent makes a parent who is disconnected.

No one wants to be there... But many people are there now.

This article is a 3 point plan for them to succeed: https://addicted2success.com/success-...

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Your success depends entirely on your student.

The first thing we need to understand about teaching is... That it is not easy. 

Your success depends entirely on your student. 

When your student does not learn... It feels like a personal failure. 

And many parents who are trying to teach their little ones... Are now coming face to face with this failure every day. 

Of course it is not pleasant to feel like a failure...... It makes you do one of the following.... 
1. Give up and stop teaching
2. Get angry and punish /shout

But neither of these approaches are useful. 

The only thing that is likely to work here is.... Teaching AGAIN. 

We must recognize that when we teach children... Our role ends at teaching. 

We cannot make them learn.. 

We can only teach it again....DIFFERENTLY... And hope that that difference will work. 

Transferring the blame onto the child is not right

It results in the child developing low self-esteem and a false belief like "I am dumb" "I can't learn" And so on. 

Which is counterproductive. 

The obstacle here may be that you know only one way to teach. 

The way that works for you. 

And the solution here is to explore and discover more ways to teach. 

Information makes a long journey from the eyes and ears to the long term memory. 

And when that journey is done... The child learns. 

I love to explain this journey to parents at my workshops and consultations... Because understanding the journey and the roadblocks in that journey is the only way to discover the right way to teach. 

In my opinion... If you understand the problem... You can implement the solution much better. 
Make the effort to understand learning if you are struggling with teaching.

PC: Photo by Jessica Lewis on Unsplash

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COVID positive moms are now breastfeeding their newborns

So happy to see this article in the newspaper (not written by me) saying that - 

Awareness is growing - and more and more COVID positive moms are now breastfeeding their newborns. 

And thrilled that early in the pandemic... March 2020 to be precise.. 

I wrote this article for the Morisons Baby Dreams  blog link below... Encouraging all new moms to breastfeed.

https://www.smartmums.in/breastfeedin...

When I was doing my deep dive to research the content for that article... I remember reading an article in a renowned medical journal with the title... 

"First do no harm"

Yes. That is the first rule of practicing medicine. 

Before you attempt to do any good... Ensure that you are doing no harm

Breast milk is like a magic potion for babies....it has so many benefits....and must not be stopped unless it is conclusively proved that it is causing disease. 

In case of viral infections .. When the mother breastfeeds.... She passes on the antibodies that she has developed against the virus to fight it. 

This protects the baby. 

This protective shield must not be taken away. 

Continue #breastfeeding.


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This is something you need to remember.

"The whole is greater than the sum of its parts"

If you are a parent who is loading your child with vitamins

This is something you need to remember. 

The key word in your vocabulary when you think of nutrition for your child should be WHOLE

Eat whole food as a family. Especially whole grain. 

Because inside the whole grain... The vitamins and minerals come prepackaged in the way that they are absorbed best by the body. 

For example -The fiber in the whole grain slows down the passage of food in the gut. 

This results in the vitamins having more time to move into the blood 

Otherwise they just go in and out

Then the grain germ has lipids that help in the absorption of Vitamins A D E and K

There are many more things that facilitate vitamin and mineral absorption when you eat WHOLE grains and other WHOLE food. 

Use vitamins in the form of pills only on prescription.. To overcome certain deficiencies. 

At all other times eat whole food to stay healthy.

PC: Image by silviarita from Pixabay

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Why didn't we know this before?

The other day a very worried Dad...told me that their one year old son was eating less and less every day. 

They had been advised to let it be and allow the child to eat as much as he wants. 

But they were not able to convince themselves to do that. 

And there were tears and fights and stress at home because of this. 

"Relax" I told them

"A one year old will eat less than an eight month old. 

That is perfectly normal. 

Babies need to triple their birth weight in the first year. So they eat a lot when they are around 8-10 months old. 

But they can't keep eating like that beyond their first birthdays. 

Otherwise they will turn into giants. "

What?? 

He could hardly believe his ears. 

Why didn't we know this before?"

Well wrong expectations because of a lack of knowledge of physiology is extremely common. 

And it is impossible to implement the answer of "What to do when.... "

If you don't know "What is happening?" 

How can a parent follow

"Stop feeding your child. Let them eat whatever amount they want." 

Without first explaining WHY. 

No parent can stop  feeding a child unless they have a good enough reason for it.

PC: Photo by Derek Owens on Unsplash

On all such days... I feel like shouting...

Am I being NICE? 

I ask myself this question several times a day when I interact with my daughter. 

Many times the answer to this question is no. 

And when it is.... I change my behavior. 

My daughter has an online tuition that begins at 6 AM every morning. 

Most days she is up with her alarm at 5:30 am for it.. But sometimes she gets late. 

On all such days... I feel like shouting... 

If you slept by 9 you would have been up by now.... What is wrong with you? 

But I ask myself... Am I being nice? 

The answer of course is no. 

And so I turn on the laptop... Set out her headphones and books and tell her... 

Come .. I have readied everything... Come and join the class. 

The result of this is.. That on some days when I have a consultation at an unearthly hour with a 
parent who is located in a different continent... 

I find myself waking up to a cup of hot tea handed to me by my teenager. 

Little considerations make it easier for us to live together. 

Unfortunately most of us leave our niceness outside the door. 

Let the pandemic teach us not to 


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A compliment from the editor of THE Elephant Journal !!!!

A compliment from the editor of THE Elephant Journal !!!! 

Yooooohooooo!!! 

I am soooo excited!! 

Yes... Parenting burnout is real

A re-think and some re-organization can help you prevent it. 

I really wanted to write on  this topic and was absolutely thrilled when the elephant journal 
published it. 

Do read it if you haven't. 

This is the article link

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2020/12/how-to-prevent-parenting-burnout-debmita-dutta

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So this is a wonderful wonderful surprise ?

The first mail that I received after the Google outage was from Google!! 

They were writing to me saying that they have given my YouTube channel a custom URL because it now has a 1000 subscribers

In the world of YouTubers who have millions of subscribers... 1000 is probably a laughable number... 

But I am not a YouTuber

I usually only share the videos on my YouTube channel with those who consult with me. 

Most other people don't even know I have a YouTube channel. 

And until I received that mail I did not even know my subscriber count. 

So this is a wonderful wonderful surprise