Debmita Dutta's Blog, page 30

Are you struggling with discipline?

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Are you struggling with discipline?

Is getting your child to do what they should taking up all your time and energy?

Then start PLAYING with your child

Yes PLAY is the solution

Many parents tell me that they don't have time to play with their child.

But it is important to remember that

If you don't spend time playing with your child you will end up spending that time punishing your child for not listening to you.

Why ?

Because when you play with your child your child you build a deep connection with your child.

The connection ensures that your child
1.Listens
2. Understands
3. Can manage their Anger better when you say no.

This is your sign to invest your time wisely.

Type PLAY and start spending the time you have PLAYING instead of PUNISHING

Share this now so that those who call your child stubborn and disobedient realize that they should stop punishing and start playing.

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#parenting #play #tantrums

Do you feel your child makes you angry?

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Do you feel your child makes you angry? 

No they don't 

These are the 3 reasons you get angry 

1. You are tired and overworked 
When you are tired everything makes you angry.
Plan more self care and rest 

2. You are focused on Perfection 
Remember Perfection is impossible. 
What is perfect today will seem imperfect to you tomorrow. 
Running after Perfection will take you further and further away from happiness and satisfaction. And that will make you more angry. 
Start enjoying imperfection 

3. You are afraid of being judged
Don't worry about what others will say. They will say something no matter what you do. Don't try to please them and cause yourself stress. 
You can never make everyone happy.
Do what makes you happy and you will not get angry so easily. 

Blaming your child for making you angry is destroying their confidence. 

Stop destroying your child to be perfect for someone else. 

Type STOP and stop now. 

Share this reel to announce to the world 
"I will not harm my child to please anyone: 

If you want to shift your focus from pleasing others to doing the best for your child, join my course. DM PB for details 

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#parenting #Anger #Perfection #peoplepleaser

Are you feeling like a BAD PARENT?

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Are you feeling like a BAD PARENT?

1. Does your child throw TANTRUMS?
2. Does your child NOT LISTEN to you?
3. Is your child NOT LEARNING?

NO. It is NOT YOUR FAULT!!

All this is because of your mobile phone.

How is your mobile phone affecting your child?

1. When you are on your phone your child feels DISCONNECTED with you
And throws TANTRUMS to get your attention and feel connected.

2. The EMOTIONAL DISCONECT that your child feels with you because of your phone results in them not listening to you even when they can hear
Because emotional connection is essential to convert HEARING into LISTENING

3. The lack of LISTENING is resulting in your child NOT LEARNING
That mobile in your hand is DESTROYING YOU AND YOUR CHILD

YOUR PHONE IS DESTROYING YOUR CHILD

Type OK and put away your phone now!!

Share this so that every adult who is around your child parent / grandparent / uncle / aunt / cousin - sees it and puts away their phone.

DON’T ALLOW ANYONE TO DESTROY YOUR CHILD and then BLAME YOU and MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY

Start Parenting with Neuroscience It will make parenting super easy

DM me and say PB If you want to subscribe to my Neuroscience based parenting course for the parents of 0 to 7 year olds and be Part of my PARENTING BLUEPRINT community where I handhold parents through their parenting challenges 

Follow me to know more.
#parenting #mobilephone #tantrums #mothersguilt

​What to do if your child keeps falling sick?

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​What to do if your child keeps falling sick?

Think about it logically and work on these 3 areas -

1. How to prevent infection

• Wash hands frequently. Do not use soaps that kill germs.
• Detect, prevent and treat allergies.
• Keep the house clean. But DO NOT use disinfectants.
• Breastfeed for as long as possible.
• Take age appropriate vaccines

2. How to build immunity to fight infection

• Focus on diet – No junk food. Eat a variety of freshly cooked food.
• Sleep – at least 10 hours in the night
• Stress – Stop scolding
• Sunlight – spend more time outdoors
• Exercise – at least 2 hours of physical play every day
• Water – drink lots of water

3. How to promote rapid recovery from infection

• Medicines -take them exactly the way your doctor has prescribed.
• Rest – prioritize it over everything else
• Right food – give easily digestible healthy food without force feeding
• Remove germs – focus on steam inhalation and other measures to wash out the germs

There are no shortcuts when it comes to building immunity.

Immunity is built by living life the right way.

Type your question about immunity in the comments and I will answer it in future reels.

Share this so that other parents do this and their children fall sick less often too. This will result in your child being less sick too.

I just want my child to have GOOD VALUES

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I just want my child to have GOOD VALUES

Most parents who consult with me only want their children to be good, honest, kind and so on.

When they find that their children have qualities like intelligence, athletic talents, artistic talents and so on but lack good values, they are very disappointed.

Yes – it happens. Because it is much easier to build skills than to instill values.

Values cannot be taught.

They are imbibed by your child from you.

And this happens when you are completely unaware that you are passing on values.

Most people imagine that children start learning values when they start understanding language.

But that is not true.

Your baby starts imbibing values as soon as they are born.

These are 3 mistakes that you must avoid while parenting if you want to pass on good values to your child

1. Threatening
“If you do this – I will do that”
This teaches BULLYING

2. Bribing
“If you do this – I will give you that”
This teaches MANIPULATION

3. Tricking 
“Go to school – teacher will give you a chocolate”
This teaches LYING

Share this now with everyone who has advised you to do this kind of parenting and now blames you for your child’s bad behaviour

Shortcuts don’t work in parenting.
Don’t keep parenting the way you see others parenting.

Start Parenting with Neuroscience.

DM “PB” if you want to subscribe to my neuroscience based course for the parents of 0 to 7 year olds called “The Parenting Blueprint Course for the first seven years”

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#parenting #neuroscience #values

​Does your LAZY child have the POTENTIAL to be a WINNER if they just put in the work?

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​Does your LAZY child have the POTENTIAL to be a WINNER if they just put in the work?

But are you struggling to make them do the work that they need to do?

Then you need to start PARENTING with NEUROSCIENCE

Use the 5 W formula to bring out the WINNER in your LAZY child.

Save this now

1.
Explain WHY

Your child is not lazy.
Your child finds the work meaningless.
No, you cannot motivate your child with “You will get full marks”.
Show them where they will be able to use the skill they are learning in real life to motivate them 

2.
Show them WHERE to start

Your child is not lazy.
Your child is overwhelmed with the quantity of work does not know where to start
Make a plan with them and show them how to break down the task into small parts.
That will motivate them.

3.
Suggest WHAT they can do to improve

Your child is not lazy. When your child is stuck and doesn’t know what to do to improve they give up.
Give your child specific suggestions
Don’t say “study more”. Show them what to study and how

4.
Support them WHEN they fail

Your child is not lazy
Your child is afraid of failing
Don’t blame your child for being lazy when they fail.
Help your child to use each failure as a steppingstone to success

5.
WATCH OUT before you label your child

Your child is not lazy
Your child believes that they are lazy because you keep saying that they are lazy
Stop labelling your child
Appreciate your child for being easy going and relaxed
This will help them to overcome the stress of performance and do well.

Type WINNER and share this now.

Let the people who call your child lazy know that your child is destined to be a winner

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#parenting #lazy #motivation #fearof failure

Are you worried about bullying?

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​Are you worried about bullying?

You can prevent bullying.

STOP BULLYING your child AT HOME.

Bullying at home lowers your child’s self-esteem and makes them an easy target for bullies outside the house.

Are you wondering what bullying in the house means?

These are the ways in which you may be bullying your child at home 

1. Hitting and shouting at your child
A bully does the same

2. Locking your child up in the bathroom
A bully does the same 

3. Threatening “I will take away your toy” or “I will hot you”
A bully does the same

4. Calling names – “Stupid” “Idiot”
A bully does the same

5. Always taking sides with one child when siblings fight and forcing the other adjust
A bully also gangs up against the bullied and plays favorites

6. Giving silent treatment when your child does not do what you want
A bully similarly excludes when your child does something they don’t like

If you teach your child that they should accept slaps and abusing from you – they will accept it from others and get bullied.

If you teach your child that they will be accepted only if they do what they are being told – they will do what the bullies are saying and get bullied.

If you teach your child that they are not good enough because they are not performing in academics or sports – they will begin to believe that they are less than others and get bullied.

Do you want that?

Type STOP and STOP BULLYING AT HOME
That is what will protect your child from bullying outside.

Share this now if someone else is bullying your child so that they see it and understand that you know that they are responsible for your child being bullied.

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#parenting #bullying #selfesteem

Does your child get angry all the time?

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Does your child get angry all the time? 

Then this is what you need to do

1. Don't say STOP CRYING 
Tears that stay inside come out as anger

2. Don't get angry when they say NO
If they cannot express their likes and dislikes they will get angry

3. Don't PUNISH
If they are always afraid of punishment they will get angry because of fear

Allow tears and no s

Don't punish your child foe having emotions 
Then they will not always be ANGRY

Share this now so that those who tease your child and tell them not to cry see it and change

Share this now so that those who force your child see it and change

Type okay and change yourself 

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#parenting #Anger #tears #discipline

Your child’s self-esteem is built when you spend time with them.

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Your child’s self-esteem is built when you spend time with them.

But what should you do during that time?

Here are 5 different ways you can plan your time with your child to ensure that you build their self-esteem

1. Testimonial time
Play a game where each person in the family lists out 3 things they like about the other members of the family. Your child will be pleasantly surprised to see what you like about her/him and so will you.

Feeling liked for who they are raises your child’s self-esteem

2. Tracking time
Write a Gratitude Journal
List out 3 good things that happened that day.

Focusing on what is good instead of what is bad raises your child’s self-esteem.

3. Teamwork time
Start doing a tough project with your child. Invest time doing something small every day to reach the goal you have set.

Working together and achieving something seemingly impossible through consistent effort raises your child’s self-esteem

4. Trekking time
A trek is always about overcoming unexpected physical and mental challenges

Overcoming challenges builds self-esteem

5. Trust time
Trust your child to do something like paying the electricity bill independently

Being trusted with responsibility builds self-esteem.

Type TIME and schedule time for these things in your calendar immediately

Share this and inspire other parents to do the same.
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#parenting #selfesteem #kidsactivities

If you are worried about your child not talking

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​If you are worried about your child not talking – 

See if you are making these 5 BIG MISTAKES

And STOP

MISTAKE 1
Feeding your child pureed food

Stop now!
Biting and chewing develop the muscles required for speaking.
Start offering food with various textures and tastes
.
MISTAKE 2 
Using a sippy cup

Stop now!
A sippy cup prevents the development of the mature swallow pattern required for speaking.
Start using a regular glass.

MISTAKE 3
Wiping your child’s face as soon as there is food on it.

Stop now!
Left to themselves children slowly learn to close their lips to keep the food in. This builds the lip muscles for speech 
Start encouraging self feeding

MISTAKE 4
Distract feeding your child with the mobile or TV.

Stop now!
The mobile or TV hamper the development of social skills and communication skills.
Start eating with your child and chat with them while eating

MISTAKE 5 
Scolding your child for not finishing their food

Stop now!
When a child is not allowed to trust their own body’s signals of fullness and hunger, they lose confidence and stop talking.
Start giving your child the freedom to decide how much they will eat.

Don’t base your parenting practices and decisions on what others are doing or saying 
What you think is best for your child may be causing a big problem for your child.

Think about parenting in the context of neuroscience and brain development.

START PARENTING WITH NEUROSCIENCE.
DM me if you want to join my course for the parents of 0 to 7 years.

Share this now so that no one judges you for not doing these things for your child. And realizes that what you are doing is the best.

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#parenting #neuroscience #fussyeating #speechdelay