Caprice Crane's Blog, page 79

I've made no secret about the fact that I firmly believe...

I've made no secret about the fact that I firmly believe Justin Bieber is threatening the integrity of young lesbians everywhere. These young souls are confused, perhaps thinking he's not really a boy…perhaps believing he looks close enough to a lesbian that maybe one small crush on him won't count.

Well, I'm happy to share with these young lesbians a website I've just found: Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber.  There you can keep it real…without compromising your cred.

You're welcome.

Note...

thejohnblog:My friend in Oklahoma, Jennifer, just sent me an...

thejohnblog:

My friend in Oklahoma, Jennifer, just sent me an email that made my blood go cold.

Her daughter is missing.

The first thing you see? Sure.

"15 years old."

"Runaway."

"One of THOSE kids."

But know this.

This little girl is a special needs girl, and has been missing for a long time now.

Please reblog, even if you're NO WHERE near Oklahoma.

  Jennifer is begging for people to print out a copy of the poster and just put it up somewhere during your errands today. Click the photo to go...

Facebook's new "Places," shares your exact...

Facebook's new "Places," shares your exact location via GPS. Because why should stalkers be limited to Twitter & Foursquare?

I guess you could probably tell even back then I'd be...

I guess you could probably tell even back then I'd be trouble.

Anatomy of a Mel Gibson Tweet

ME: Offensiveness check

My Friend Henry: ...

ME: Can I use "wetback" in this? Police: "Mel Gibson was 'a gentleman' after Malibu crash." That translates to one F-word, three "blow me's" and a "wetback." Or is "wetback" not okay?

MFH: Wetback's kinda like the Mexican n-word. So, hmmm

ME: Yeah...

MFH: The quotes help.

ME: Replace with "Sugar Tits?"

MFH: Haha that's probably safer

ME: But I worry people don't know "sugar tits."

MFH: Has Mel Gibson proven himself to be anti-Mexican?

ME: Yes! He...

Do have any Advil? I kinda have a little headache.

You don't have to fake headaches with me, baby. I'm well aware that my personality alone is enough of a deterrent.

I don't think what happens in these people's...

I don't think what happens in these people's bathrooms is really anyone's business but apparently it's the focus of tonight's episode.

Are you famous?

Only at the local police precinct.

I love this broad. And not just because she's me in 40...

I love this broad. And not just because she's me in 40 years. What I'm saying is: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE DATE ME SO I DON'T END UP DANCING ALONE IN A WALMART DOWN THE ROAD?

Which is the best Caprice Crane book to read if I'm going to read one? Also, I'm confused. Is this question going to Caprice or Max? Because can Max handle this one?Thanks!

I'd say why not start with my first: Stupid and Contagious. Especially you. You remind me of a potential "Brady."

And this question came directly to me. The "ask" on here is to me. Max has his own situation here. But yes, he could certainly have handled this one. Max is extraordinarily wise. And handsome.