Douglas Adams > Quotes

“That’s the point, it’s out of date now,”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Numbers written on restaurant checks within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe. This single statement took the scientific world by storm. It completely revolutionized it. So many mathematical conferences got held in such good restaurants that many of the finest minds of a generation died of obesity and heart failure and the science of math was put back by years. Slowly,”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“First you had to fight the Stones fans, which was tricky because they fought dirty and had their knuckles nearer the ground.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“«La historia de todas las civilizaciones importantes de la Galaxia tiende a pasar por tres etapas diferentes y reconocibles, las de Supervivencia, Indagación y Refinamiento, también conocidas por las fases del Cómo, del Por qué y del Dónde. »Por ejemplo, la primera fase se caracteriza por la pregunta: ¿Cómo podemos comer?; la segunda, por la pregunta: ¿Por qué comemos? y la tercera, por la pregunta: ¿Dónde vamos a almorzar?»”
― Douglas Adams, Guía del autoestopista galáctico

“the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat?, the second by the question Why do we eat?, and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Oh God, I'm so depressed. Here's another of those self-satisfied doors. Life! Don't talk to me about life.”
― Douglas Adams

“Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Halka hükmemeyi en çok isteyenler, bu işi yapmaya en az uygun olanlardır.”
― Douglas Adams

“Едно от нещата, които Форд Префект намираше най-трудни за разбиране у хората, бе навикът им постоянно да заявяват и повтарят най-най-очевидни неща, като например „Днес времето е хубаво“ или „Много си порасъл“, или „Божичко, имаш вид на човек, паднал в кладенец, дълбок трийсет фута, добре ли си?“. Първоначално Форд Префект развиваше следната теория, за да си обясни това странно поведение. Ако човешките същества не мърдат устните си постоянно, разсъждаваше той, устата им навярно се слепват. Но след неколкомесечни размишления и наблюдения той се отказа от тази теория в полза на друга. Ако не мърдат постоянно устните си — разсъждаваше той, — започват да работят мозъците им. След време се отрече и от тази теория, защото му се стори цинична и възпрепятстваща взаимното разбирателство.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“We were just about to do nothing at all for a while but it can wait.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“When one day an expedition was sent to the spatial coordinates that Voojagig had claimed for this planet they discovered only a small asteroid inhabited by a solitary old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“How to Leave the Planet

1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (713) 483-3111. Explain that it’s very important that you get away as soon as possible.

2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House—(202) 456-1414—to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.

3. If you don’t have any friends in the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don’t have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.

4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.

5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it’s vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.”
― Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy omnibus 2: Tot ziens en bedankt voor de vis / Grotendeels ongevaarlijk / En dan nog iets…

“And if you don’t see something, it doesn’t mean to say it’s not there. It’s only what your senses bring to your attention.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Arthur stared over the rim of his coffee cup at the grisly outside world. It was a completely pointless place to be, he realized, and he had been driven there by superstition rather than logic.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“Trillian burst in through the door from her cabin. ‘My white mice have escaped!’ she said. An expression of deep worry and concern failed to cross either of Zaphod’s faces.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Complete Trilogy in Five Parts

“You cannot see what I see because you see what you see. You cannot know what I know because you know what you know. What I see and what I know cannot be added to what you see and what you know because they are not of the same kind. Neither can it replace what you see and what you know, because that would be to replace you yourself."

"Hang on, can I write this down?" said Arthur, excitedly fumbling in his pocket for a pencil.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“something was moving quietly through the ionosphere many miles above the surface of the planet; several somethings in fact,”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“We notice things that don’t work. We don’t notice things that do.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

“It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some creature, without forming an opinion about them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“There really wasn’t a lot this machine could do that you couldn’t do yourself in half the time with a lot less trouble,’ said Richard, ‘but it was, on the other hand, very good at being a slow and dim-witted pupil.’

Reg looked at him quizzically.

‘I had no idea they were supposed to be in short supply,’ he said. ‘I could hit a dozen with a bread roll from where I’m sitting.’

‘I’m sure. But look at it this way. What really is the point of trying to trying to teach anything to anybody?’

This question seemed to provoke a murmur of sympathetic approval from up and down the table.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“He had, of course, long ago taken the precaution of removing the only extant copies of the books on his reading list from the university and college libraries, as a result of which he had plenty of time to, well, to do whatever it was he did.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.”
― Douglas Adams

“The technology involved in making anything invisible is so infinitely complex that nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand million, nine hundred and ninety-nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine times out of a billion it is much simpler and more effective just to take the thing away and do without it.”
― Douglas Adams, The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five

“Oolon Colluphid’s trilogy of philosophical blockbusters, Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“The Hollywood process is like trying to grill a steak by having a succession of people coming into the room and breathing on it.”
― Douglas Adams

“Marvin disregarded it with cold loathing while his logic circuits chattered with disgust and tinkered with the concept of directing physical violence against it. Further circuits cut in saying, Why bother? What's the point? Nothing is worth getting involved in. Further circuits amused themselves by analyzing the molecular components of the door, and of the humanoids' brain cells.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Ford Shouted out, "Hey listen! I think we've got enough problems of our own having you shooting at us, so if you could avoid laying your problems on us as well, I think we'd all find it easier to cope”
― Douglas Adams

“Ford kicked at the door. It opened. “Mixture of pleasure and pain,” he muttered. “Always does the trick.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“The stories had claimed that people in the area had been “terrorized” by some repulsively deformed “goblinlike” creature who regularly broke out of the Woodshead and committed an impressively wide range of unspeakable acts.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“.. una volta che sai cos'è la cosa che vuoi che sia vera, l'istinto è un mezzo molto utile per metterti nelle condizioni di sapere che è vera,”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish