Douglas Adams > Quotes

“Mr. L. Prosser was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a carbon-based bipedal life form descended from an ape. More specifically he was forty, fat and shabby and worked for the local council. Curiously enough, though he didn’t know it, he was also a direct male-line descendant of Genghis Khan, though intervening generations and racial mixing had so juggled his genes that he had no discernible Mongoloid characteristics, and the only vestiges left in Mr. L. Prosser of his mighty ancestry were a pronounced stoutness about the tum and a predilection for little fur hats.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“The President in particular is very much a figurehead – he wields no real power whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities he is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“İlk savın sahipleri meselenin bu olmadığını söylüyorlardı. Meselenin ne olduğuna tam olarak emin değillerdi, ama bu olmadığını biliyorlardı.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn’t be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.”
― Douglas Adams, The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five

“She had nearly said, “Over what?,” but at that moment she realized that if she said that she would have to listen to his reply, which would be bound to infuriate her into arguing back. It occurred to her for the first time that the only way of escaping was just not to get drawn into these arguments. If she simply did not respond this time, then she was free to leave. She tried it. She felt a sudden freedom. She left. A week later, in much the”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“Kendini afallamış, yapayalnız ve sevgisiz hissediyordu.”
― Douglas Adams, Guide to the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“This planet has – or rather had – a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”
― Douglas Adams, The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five

“What do you mean you’ve met?’ he demanded. ‘This is Zaphod Beeblebrox from Betelgeuse Five you know, not bloody Martin Smith from Croydon.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“This planet has – or rather had – a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“The latest one was a lullaby.
Marvin droned,

Now the world has gone to bed,
Darkness won't engulf my head,
I can see by infrared,
How I hate the night.

He paused to gather the artistic and emotional task to tackle the next verse.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
Try to count electric sheep,
Sweet dream wishes you can keep,
How I hate the night.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up;”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“He’s spending a year dead for tax reasons.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy”
― Douglas Adams

“E' noto che esiste un numero infinito di mondi, per il semplice fatto che esiste uno spazio infinito atto a ospitarli.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“had about a hundred tiny flat press buttons and a screen about four inches square on which any one of a million “pages” could be summoned at a moment’s notice. It looked insanely complicated, and this was one of the reasons why the snug plastic cover it fitted into had the words DON’T PANIC printed on it in large friendly letters. The other reason was that this device was in fact that most remarkable of all books ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor—The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. The reason why it was published in the form of a micro sub meson electronic component is that if it were printed in normal book form, an interstellar hitchhiker would require several inconveniently large buildings to carry it around in.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“The first thing they saw on leaving the elevator was a long concrete wall with over fifty doors in it offering lavatory facilities for all of fifty major life forms. Nevertheless, like every parking lot in the Galaxy throughout the entire history of parking lots, this parking lot smelled predominantly of impatience.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Just supposing,” he said, “just supposing” --he didn’t know what was coming next, so he thought he’d just sit back and listen-- “that there was some extraordinary way in which you were very important to me, and that, though you didn’t know it, I was very important to you, but it all went for nothing because we only had five miles and I was a stupid idiot at knowing how to say something very important to someone I’ve only just met and not crash into lorries at the same time, what would you say…” He paused, helplessly, and looked at her.
“...I should do?”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“The winning team shall be the first team that wins. Curiously”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe, and Everything

“Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real “wow, that’s big,” time. Infinity is just so big that, by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we’re trying to get across here.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“So long and thanks for all the fish.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“But that can’t work, can it?” said Richard. “If we do that, then this won’t have happened. Don’t we generate all sorts of paradoxes?” Reg stirred himself from thought. “No worse than many that exist already,” he said. “If the Universe came to an end every time there was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, it would never have got beyond the first picosecond. And many of course don’t. It’s like a human body, you see. A few cuts and bruises here and there don’t hurt it. Not even major surgery if it’s done properly.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“La Guida galattica per gli autostoppisti nomina l’alcol. Dice che la miglior bevanda alcolica che esiste è il Gotto Esplosivo Pangalattico. Dice che quando si beve un Gotto Esplosivo Pangalattico si ha l’impressione che il cervello venga spappolato da una fetta di limone legata intorno a un grosso mattone d’oro.”
― Douglas Adams, Guida galattica per gli autostoppisti

“Mixture of pleasure and pain,” he muttered. “Always does the trick.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Somewhere in the cosmos, he said, along with all the planets inhabited by humanoids, reptiloids, fishoids, walking treeoids and superintelligent shades of the color blue, there was also a planet entirely given over to ballpoint life forms. And it was to this planet that unattended ballpoints would make their way, slipping away quietly through wormholes in space to a world where they knew they could enjoy a uniquely ballpointoid lifestyle, responding to highly ballpoint-oriented stimuli, and generally leading the ballpoint equivalent of the good life.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“I think you ought to know I’m feeling very depressed,” it said. Its voice was low and hopeless.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Would you like to see the menu?” he said. “Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Six pints of bitter.' said Ford Prefect to the barman of the Horse and Groom. 'And quickly please, the world's about to end.”
― Douglas Adams, The Complete Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy (BBC MP3 CD Audio) by Douglas Adams

“Wail, wail, screech, wail, honk, honk, squeak went the bagpipes, increasing the captain's already considerable pleasure at the thought that any moment now they might stop.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Ford,” he said, “you’re turning into a penguin. Stop it.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people.’ ‘Odd,’ said Arthur, ‘I thought you said it was a democracy.’ ‘I did,’ said Ford. ‘It is.’ ‘So,’ said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, ‘why don’t people get rid of the lizards?’ ‘It honestly doesn’t occur to them,’ said Ford. ‘They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates to the government they want.’ ‘You mean they actually vote for the lizards?’ ‘Oh yes,’ said Ford with a shrug, ‘of course.’ ‘But,’ said Arthur, going for the big one again, ‘why?’ ‘Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,’ said Ford, ‘the wrong lizard might get in.”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish