Douglas Adams > Quotes

“Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I’d far rather be happy than right any day.’ ‘And are you?’ ‘No. That’s where it all falls down, of course.’ ‘Pity,’ said Arthur with sympathy. ‘It sounded like quite a good lifestyle otherwise.”
― Douglas Adams, The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five

“He had repaired his ship – that is, he’d watched with alert interest whilst a service robot had repaired it for him. It”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe, and Everything

“Like all Vogon ships it looked as if it had been not so much designed as congealed. The unpleasant yellow lumps and edifices which protruded from it at unsightly angles would have disfigured the looks of most ships, but in this case that was sadly impossible. Uglier things have been spotted in the skies, but not by reliable witnesses.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“I've been busy," said Ford, rather weakly. He staggered to his feet, brushing himself down. Then he thought, what the hell was he saying things weakly for? He had to get on top of this situation.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“It was the product of a mind that was not merely twisted, but actually sprained.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Lots of people are not in the business you think they’re in. Xerox, for instance, is in the business of selling toner cartridges. All that mucking about they do developing high-tech copying and printing machines is just creating a commodity market in toner cartridges, which is where their profit lies. Television companies are not in the business of delivering television programmes to their audience, they’re in the business of delivering audiences to their advertisers.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“My name,” he said, “is Slartibartfast.” Arthur”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“He wondered if it was safe to grin. Very slowly and carefully, he grinned. It was safe.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“When I was young I used to have this nightmare about dying. I used to lie awake at night screaming. All my schoolfriends went to heaven or hell, and I was sent to Southend.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“If I asked you where the hell we were,’ said Arthur weakly, ‘would I regret it?’ Ford stood up. ‘We’re safe,’ he said. ‘Oh good,’ said Arthur. ‘We’re in a small galley cabin,’ said Ford, ‘in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.’ ‘Ah,’ said Arthur, ‘this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn’t previously aware of.”
― Douglas Adams, The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five

“It might not even have made much difference to them if they’d known exactly how much power the President of the Galaxy actually wielded: none at all. Only six people in the Galaxy knew that the job of the Galactic President was not to wield power but to attract attention away from it. Zaphod Beeblebrox was amazingly good at his job.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Numbers written on restaurant bills within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe, and Everything

“Try and make yourself comfortable on the sofa,” invited Reg, fussing around hospitably. “I don’t know if you’ll manage it. It always feels to me as if it’s been stuffed with cabbage leaves and cutlery.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“For instance, he would often gate-crash university parties, get badly drunk and start making fun of any astrophysicists he could find till he got thrown out.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Excuse me," said the owner of the metal hand in a voice that would have made an insect of a more sentimental disposition collapse in tears.
This was not such an insect, and it couldn't stand robots.
"Yes, sir," it snapped, "can I help you?"
"I doubt it," said Marvin.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Do you want me to sit in a corner and rust, or just fall apart where I'm standing?”
― Douglas Adams

“Ese es el problema con los chiflados: se les ocurre una gran idea que funciona de verdad y luego esperan que les financies durante años mientras ellos se dedican a estudiar la topografía de su ombligo.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“Bir gün, bizim genç Zaphod bu gemilerden birine baskın yapmaya karar verdi. Stratosferde kullanmak üzere tasarlanmış, üç-jetli küçük bir motosiklete binmiş küçük bir çocuk. Yani bu yaptığı delirmiş bir maymunun yapabileceğinden daha çılgıncaydı. Ben de onunla gittim, çünkü bunu yapamayacağı üzerine sağlam bir parayla bahse girmiştim ve sahte delillerle geri dönmesini istemiyordum. Sonra ne mi oldu? Motorunu güçlendirip bambaşka bir şeye çevirdiği üç-jetli motosiklete atladık, birkaç hafta içinde dokuz on ışık yılı yol aldık, nasıl olduğunu hala bilmediğim bir şekilde mega yük gemisine daldık, oyuncak tabancalarımızı sallayarak kumanda köprüsüne çıktık ve at kestanesi istedik. Şimdiye kadar bundan daha çılgınca bir şeye rastlamadım. Bir yıllık harçlığıma mal olmuştu. Ne için? At kestanesi.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Here’s what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colorless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. It says that the effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterward. The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself. Take the juice from one bottle of the Ol’ Janx Spirit, it says. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V—Oh, that Santraginean seawater, it says. Oh, those Santraginean fish! Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost). Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy bikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Pallia. Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odors of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink. Sprinkle Zamphuor. Add an olive. Drink…but…very carefully… The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“There's mud on the floor, cigarettes and whisky on the table, fish on a plate for you and a memory of them in my mind. Hardly conclusive evidence I know, but then all evidence is circumstantial.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“It said: “The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival,Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. “For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“En este punto vale la pena recordar las teorías a las que había llegado Ford en
su primer encuentro con los seres humanos para explicar su extraña costumbre de afirmar y reafirmar de continuo lo claro y evidente, como «Hace buen día», «Es usted muy alto», o «Así que ya está, vamos a morir».”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“The best conversation I had was over forty million years ago,' continued Marvin.
Again the pause. '
Oh d—'
'And that was with a coffee machine.' He waited.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Shaving mirror-pointing at the ceiling. He adjusted it. For a moment it reflected a second bulldozer through the bathroom window. Properly adjusted, it reflected Arthur Dent's bristles.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“A slow stupefied silence crept over the men as they stared at the computer and then at each other.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“It appeared then to be at least partially satisfied. Whereas before it had been a cross dodo, it was at least now a cross, fed dodo, which was probably about as much as it could hope for in this life.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is an indispensable companion to all
those who are keen to make sense of life in an infinitely complex and confusing Universe, for though it cannot hope to be useful or informative on all matters,
it does at least make the reassuring claim, that where it is inaccurate it is at
least definitely inaccurate. In cases of major discrepancy it’s always reality
that’s got it wrong.
This was the gist of the notice. It said “The Guide is definitive. Reality is
frequently inaccurate.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Das Leben", sagte Marvin schwermütig, "hasse oder ignoriere es, lieben kannst du's nicht.”
― Douglas Adams, Per Anhalter durch die Galaxis/Das Restaurant am Ende des Universums

“It had a note from him pinned to part of its sparse instrument panel. The note had an arrow drawn on it, pointing at one of the controls. It said This is probably the best button to press.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“but there comes a point I’m afraid where you begin to suspect that if there’s any real truth, it’s that the entire multidimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy