Douglas Adams > Quotes

“How do you know you’re having fun if there’s no one watching you have it?”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“He could only assume that he had just won. “So,” continued Ford Prefect, “if you would just like to come over here and lie down …” “What?” said Mr. Prosser. “Ah, I’m sorry,” said Ford, “perhaps I hadn’t made myself fully clear. Somebody’s got to lie in front of the bulldozers, haven’t they? Or there won’t be anything to stop them driving into Mr. Dent’s house, will there?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“She had what it took: great hair, a profound understanding of strategic lip gloss, the intelligence to understand the world and a tiny secret interior deadness which meant she didn’t care. Everybody has their moment of great opportunity in life. If you happen to miss the one you care about, then everything else in life becomes eerily easy. Tricia”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“You mean they actually vote for the lizards?” “Oh yes,” said Ford with a shrug, “of course.” “But,” said Arthur, going for the big one again, “why?” “Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard,” said Ford, “the wrong lizard might get in. Got any gin?”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Rehberde deniyor ki uçmak bir sanatmış." dedi Ford, "ya da daha çok bir marifet. Aslında bütün marifet kendini yere doğru fırlatıp yeri ıskalamakta yatıyor.”
― Douglas Adams, Hayat, Evren ve Her Şey

“What’s this switch?” he cried. “What? Where?” cried Arthur, twisting round. “No, I was only fooling,” said Ford, “we are going to die after all.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Each of the two contestants would then concentrate their will on the bottle and attempt to tip it and pour spirit into the glass of his opponent, who would then have to drink it. The bottle would then be refilled. The game would be played again. And again. Once you started to lose you would probably keep losing, because one of the effects of Janx Spirit is to depress telepsychic power. As soon as a predetermined quantity had been consumed, the final loser would have to perform a forfeit, which was usually obscenely biological.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“You can't possibly be a scientist if you mind people thinking that you're a fool”
― Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“You know because you’ve been it, and I know because I’m dead and it gives one such a wonderfully uncluttered perspective.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“It consisted in large part of the engineers and researchers who had built the Heart of Gold – mostly humanoid, but here and there were a few reptiloid atomineers, two or three green sylph-like maximegalaticians, an octopodic physucturalist or two and a Hooloovoo (a Hooloovoo is a super-intelligent shade of the colour blue). All except the Hooloovoo were resplendent in their multicoloured ceremonial lab coats; the Hooloovoo had been temporarily refracted into a free-standing prism for the occasion.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Complete Trilogy in Five Parts

“Argi nepakanka matyti, kad sodas nuostabus, negi būtina tikėti, kad jame dar slapstosi ir fėjos?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Non puoi vedere quel che vedo io perché vedi quel che vedi. Non puoi sapere quel che so io perché sai quel che sai. Quel che io vedo e so non si può aggiungere a quel che vedi e sai tu, perché le due cose non sono dello stesso tipo. Né quel che che vedo e do io può sostituire quel che vedi e sai tu, perché questo significherebbe sostituire te stesso.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“This planet has—or rather had—a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn’t the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“What? Harmless! Is that all it’s got to say? Harmless! One word!’ Ford shrugged. ‘Well, there are a hundred billion stars in the Galaxy, and only a limited amount of space in the book’s microprocessors,’ he said, ‘and no one knew much about the Earth, of course.’ ‘Well, for God’s sake I hope you managed to rectify that a bit.’ ‘Oh yes, well I managed to transmit a new entry off to the editor. He had to trim it a bit, but it’s still an improvement.’ ‘And what does it say now?’ asked Arthur. ‘Mostly harmless,”
― Douglas Adams, The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five

“The arkleseizure cometh!”
― Douglas Adams

“Trillian hugged herself, shivered and frowned. She could have sworn she saw a slight and unexpected movement out of the corner of her eye, but when she glanced in that direction all she could see was the ship, still and silent, a hundred yards or so behind them. She was relieved when a second or so later they caught sight of Zaphod standing on top of the ridge of ground and waving to them to come and join him. He seemed to be excited, but they couldn’t clearly hear what he was saying because of the thinnish atmosphere and the wind. As they approached the ridge of higher ground they became aware that it seemed to be circular—a crater about a hundred”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Hi! I hope you enjoyed that Introduction to this Introduction to the New Edition. I know that some of you may think it unimportant that Douglas’s final volume should have the distinction of a World Record of this sort. But, as a friend, I often felt that Douglas was sadly shortchanged in the matter of Introductions.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

“He let this feeling subside, and then sat on the sofa – carefully. Trillian sat on it too. It was real. At least, if it wasn’t real, it did support them, and as that is what sofas are supposed to do, this, by any test that mattered, was a real sofa.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Omnibus: A Trilogy of Five

“Dirk tried to imagine what might happen if—to pick a name quite at random—the God Thor, he of the Norwegian ancestry and the great hammer, were to arrive at the passport office and try to explain who he was and how come he had no birth certificate. There would be no shock, no horror, no loud exclamations of astonishment, just blank, bureaucratic impossibility. It wouldn’t be a matter of whether anybody believed him or not, it would simply be a question of producing a valid birth certificate. He could stand there wreaking miracles all day if he liked but at close of business, if he didn’t have a valid birth certificate, he would simply be asked to leave. And”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“Едно от нещата, които Пътеводителят ни казва по въпроса за Паралелните вселени, е, че нямаш и минимален шанс да ги разбереш. Следователно можеш да казваш: „Какво!?“, „А!?“, да ти се кръстосат очите и дори да изпаднеш в нервна криза — без страх, че ще те вземат за глупак.
Първото нещо, което трябва да се знае за Паралелните вселени, казва Пътеводителят, е, че не са паралелни.
Също така е много важно да си дадем сметка, че те не са и вселени в точния смисъл на думата, но най-лесно е да се опитаме да разберем това малко по-късно, когато вече сме разбрали, че всичко, което сме разбрали досега, не е вярно. Причината да не са вселени е, че всяка Вселена не е нещо само по себе си, а само начин за разглеждане на онова, което е по-известно под техническото название ЦВММ или Цялостен всеобхватен миш-маш. Цялостният всеобхватен миш-маш също не съществува реално, а е сумата от различните начини, по които бихме могли да го разглеждаме, ако съществуваше.
Причината, поради която Вселените не са паралелни, е същата, поради която и морето не е паралелно. Това не означава нищо. Можете да направите какъвто си искате разрез на Цялостния всеобхватен миш-маш и в общи линии ще получите нещо, което някой ще нарече свой дом.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“Infinity itself looks flat and uninteresting. Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity—distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless. The”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“A single tune danced through his mind and all his attention rested upon it. It was a tune that seethed through the magical flood, shaped it, formed it, lived through it hugely, lived through it minutely, was its very essence. It bounced and trilled along, at first a little tripping tune, then it slowed, then it danced again but with more difficulty, seemed to founder in eddies of doubt and confusion, and then suddenly revealed that the eddies were just the first ripples of a huge new wave of energy surging up joyfully from underneath.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly, then?” I asked. He blinked at me as if I were stupid. “Well, what do you think you do?” he said. “You die of course. That’s what deadly means.”
― Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

“The time is nearly upon us,” said one, and Arthur was surprised to see a word suddenly materialize in thin air just by the man’s neck. The word was LOONQUAWL, and it flashed a couple of times and then disappeared again. Before Arthur was able to assimilate this the other man spoke and the word PHOUCHG appeared by his neck. “Seventy-five thousand generations ago, our ancestors set this program in motion,” the second man said, “and in all that time we will be the first to hear the computer speak.” “An awesome prospect, Phouchg,” agreed the first man, and Arthur suddenly realized he was watching a recording with subtitles. “We are the ones who will hear,” said Phouchg, “the answer to the great question of Life …!” “The Universe …!” said Loonquawl. “And Everything …!” “Shhh,” said Loonquawl with a slight gesture, “I think Deep Thought is preparing to speak!” There was a moment’s expectant pause while panels slowly came to life on the front of the console. Lights flashed on and off experimentally and settled down into a businesslike pattern. A soft low hum came from the communication channel. “Good morning,” said Deep Thought at last. “Er … good morning, O Deep Thought,” said Loonquawl nervously, “do you have … er, that is …” “An answer for you?” interrupted Deep Thought majestically. “Yes. I have.” The two men shivered with expectancy. Their waiting had not been in vain. “There really is one?” breathed Phouchg. “There really is one,” confirmed Deep Thought. “To Everything? To the great Question of Life, the Universe and Everything?” “Yes.” Both of the men had been trained for this moment, their lives had been a preparation for it, they had been selected at birth as those who would witness the answer, but even so they found themselves gasping and squirming like excited children. “And you’re ready to give it to us?” urged Loonquawl. “I am.” “Now?” “Now,” said Deep Thought. They both licked their dry lips. “Though I don’t think,” added Deep Thought, “that you’re going to like it.” “Doesn’t matter!” said Phouchg. “We must know it! Now!” “Now?” inquired Deep Thought. “Yes! Now …” “All right,” said the computer, and settled into silence again. The two men fidgeted. The tension was unbearable. “You’re really not going to like it,” observed Deep Thought. “Tell us!” “All right,” said Deep Thought. “The Answer to the Great Question …” “Yes …!” “Of Life, the Universe and Everything …” said Deep Thought. “Yes …!” “Is …” said Deep Thought, and paused. “Yes …!” “Is …” “Yes …!!! …?” “Forty-two,” said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“There were so many different ways in which you were required to provide absolute proof of your identity these days that life could easily become extremely tiresome just from that factor alone, never mind the deeper existential problems of trying to function as a coherent consciousness in an epistemologically ambiguous physical universe. Just look at cash point machines, for instance. Queues of people standing around waiting to have their fingerprints read, their retinas scanned, bits of skin scraped from the nape of the neck and undergoing instant (or nearly instant-a good six or seven seconds in tedious reality) genetic analysis, then having to answer trick questions about members of their family they didn't even remember they had, and about their recorded preferences for tablecloth colours. And that was just to get a bit of spare cash for the weekend. If you were trying to raise a loan for a jetcar, sign a missile treaty or pay an entire restaurant bill things could get really trying. Hence the Ident-i-Eeze. This encoded every single piece of information about you, your body and your life into one all-purpose machine-readable card that you could then carry around in your wallet, and therefore represented technology's greatest triumph to date over both itself and plain common sense.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“There’s only ever been one good answer to that question “Why?” and perhaps we should have that in the alphabet as well. There’s room for it. “Why?” doesn’t have to be the last word, it isn’t even the last letter. How would it be if the alphabet ended, “V W X Why? Z,” but “V W X Why not?” Don’t ask stupid questions. —”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt

“To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.”
― Douglas Adams

“The man was awake but not glad to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“He seemed more like a succession of extraordinary events than a person.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy