Douglas Adams > Quotes

“Bir gün, bizim genç Zaphod bu gemilerden birine baskın yapmaya karar verdi. Stratosferde kullanmak üzere tasarlanmış, üç-jetli küçük bir motosiklete binmiş küçük bir çocuk. Yani bu yaptığı delirmiş bir maymunun yapabileceğinden daha çılgıncaydı. Ben de onunla gittim, çünkü bunu yapamayacağı üzerine sağlam bir parayla bahse girmiştim ve sahte delillerle geri dönmesini istemiyordum. Sonra ne mi oldu? Motorunu güçlendirip bambaşka bir şeye çevirdiği üç-jetli motosiklete atladık, birkaç hafta içinde dokuz on ışık yılı yol aldık, nasıl olduğunu hala bilmediğim bir şekilde mega yük gemisine daldık, oyuncak tabancalarımızı sallayarak kumanda köprüsüne çıktık ve at kestanesi istedik. Şimdiye kadar bundan daha çılgınca bir şeye rastlamadım. Bir yıllık harçlığıma mal olmuştu. Ne için? At kestanesi.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Here’s what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colorless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. It says that the effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterward. The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself. Take the juice from one bottle of the Ol’ Janx Spirit, it says. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V—Oh, that Santraginean seawater, it says. Oh, those Santraginean fish! Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost). Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy bikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Pallia. Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odors of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink. Sprinkle Zamphuor. Add an olive. Drink…but…very carefully… The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“There's mud on the floor, cigarettes and whisky on the table, fish on a plate for you and a memory of them in my mind. Hardly conclusive evidence I know, but then all evidence is circumstantial.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“It said: “The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival,Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. “For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“En este punto vale la pena recordar las teorías a las que había llegado Ford en
su primer encuentro con los seres humanos para explicar su extraña costumbre de afirmar y reafirmar de continuo lo claro y evidente, como «Hace buen día», «Es usted muy alto», o «Así que ya está, vamos a morir».”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“The best conversation I had was over forty million years ago,' continued Marvin.
Again the pause. '
Oh d—'
'And that was with a coffee machine.' He waited.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Shaving mirror-pointing at the ceiling. He adjusted it. For a moment it reflected a second bulldozer through the bathroom window. Properly adjusted, it reflected Arthur Dent's bristles.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“A slow stupefied silence crept over the men as they stared at the computer and then at each other.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“It appeared then to be at least partially satisfied. Whereas before it had been a cross dodo, it was at least now a cross, fed dodo, which was probably about as much as it could hope for in this life.”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is an indispensable companion to all
those who are keen to make sense of life in an infinitely complex and confusing Universe, for though it cannot hope to be useful or informative on all matters,
it does at least make the reassuring claim, that where it is inaccurate it is at
least definitely inaccurate. In cases of major discrepancy it’s always reality
that’s got it wrong.
This was the gist of the notice. It said “The Guide is definitive. Reality is
frequently inaccurate.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“Das Leben", sagte Marvin schwermütig, "hasse oder ignoriere es, lieben kannst du's nicht.”
― Douglas Adams, Per Anhalter durch die Galaxis/Das Restaurant am Ende des Universums

“It had a note from him pinned to part of its sparse instrument panel. The note had an arrow drawn on it, pointing at one of the controls. It said This is probably the best button to press.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“but there comes a point I’m afraid where you begin to suspect that if there’s any real truth, it’s that the entire multidimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Out,” he said. People who can supply that amount of firepower don’t need to supply verbs as well.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“A second later and they would have been dead.” “Yeah, so if you’d taken the trouble to think about the problem a bit longer it would have gone away.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Vogon Constructor Fleets. Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: forget it. They are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy—not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. They wouldn’t even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“The new bill reads ‘To: saving human race from total extinction—no charge.’ ”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

“It’s only half completed, I’m afraid—we haven’t even finished burying the artificial dinosaur skeletons in the crust”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“old man who claimed repeatedly that nothing was true, though he was later discovered to be lying.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Protect me from knowing what I don’t need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don’t know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“But naturally my shoulder, sir,’ mooed the animal contentedly, ‘nobody else’s is mine to offer.”
― Douglas Adams, The Complete Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Trilogy of Five

“We’re safe,” he said. “Oh good,” said Arthur. “We’re in a small galley cabin,” said Ford, “in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.” “Ah,” said Arthur, “this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn’t previously aware of.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“They were late and shook off their coats hurriedly. This was complicated for the older man by the necessity first of taking off his professorial gown, and then of putting it back on again once his coat was off, then of stuffing his hat in his coat pocket, then of wondering where he’d put his scarf, and then of realizing that he hadn’t brought it, then of fishing in his coat pocket for his handkerchief, then of fishing in his other coat pocket for his spectacles, and finally of finding them quite unexpectedly wrapped in his scarf, which it turned out he had brought after all but hadn’t been wearing despite the damp and bitter wind blowing in like a witch’s breath from across the fens. He”
― Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

“Anything that is put down wrong here is, as far as I’m concerned, wrong for good.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“Why doesn’t anyone turn on this Improbability Drive thing?” he said. “We could probably reach that.” “What are you, crazy?” said Zaphod. “Without proper programming anything could happen.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

“If it could not possibly be done, then obviously it had been done impossibly. The question was how?”
― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-time of the Soul

“And the messenger did understand the Reason, and he returned to his people in the Forest. But as he approached them, as he walked through the Forest and amongst the trees, he found that all he could remember of the Reason was how terribly clear the argument had seemed. What it actually was he couldn't remember at all.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

“And thirdly,” he said, “thirdly a party of Young Conservatives from Sirius B, are they here?” A party of smartly dressed young dogs stopped throwing rolls at each other and started throwing rolls at the stage. They yapped and barked unintelligibly.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

“The sweat stood out cold on Ford Prefect’s brow, and slid round the electrodes strapped to his temples. These were attached to a battery of electronic equipment—imagery intensifiers, rhythmic modulators, alliterative residulators and simile dumpers—all designed to heighten the experience of the poem and make sure that not a single nuance of the poet’s thought was lost.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy