Geoff Rodkey > Quotes

“I seem to have gotten myself into the kind of trouble you don't get out of unless you change the rules of the game.”
― Geoff Rodkey, We're Not from Here

“First, I was like, “I know it! It’s dun-dun-DA-dun, dun, DA-DUN, dun DA-DUN.” WYATT The rest of us were like, “Reese, dude: that’s the Darth Vader song.” But that got the Darth Vader song stuck in everybody’s head. So whenever somebody tried to sing Beethoven’s Fifth, it came out sounding like Darth Vader.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“Xander, have you ever googled “Mayflower” and “Billingtons”? Because I did. And it turns out one of your ancestors almost blew up the ship. And another one got hanged for murder after they landed in America. Ed. Note: 100% TRUE (you can google this)”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go Viral

“I was being a friend of the earth. You know: recycling the coffee.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“if some cat brings in a tune that makes me want to stab myself in the ear with a pencil, I gotta be all, “Great job, kiddo! Keep at it!”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go Viral

“Yo, strong ups to Big Daddy Tapper for frontin’ the bill on dem wingz.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“True dat. When I gots da Cronut itch? Mom-a-saurus pays our dog walker fiddy bones to get up crack-o’-dawn and represent on dat line to get one in my belly.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“end) CLAUDIA There are definitely a lot of very important lessons to be learned from The War. But I can’t think of what they are right now, and I have to go meet Sophie and Carmen at Starbucks in ten minutes to strategize the best way to handle the Jens situation.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“never, ever compare anybody to that particular person, since he was so much more evil than anyone else in history”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“Right when I was about to serve (which was traumatic enough, because I am even worse at volleyball than I am at Jenga),”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“I was sitting with Sophie Koh, who is awesome and has been my one and only best friend since my original best friend, Meredith Timms, turned into a total Fembot and I had to take a vacation from not only being her best friend, but from even being her friend at all. Which is very sad and tragic, but is a whole other story.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“You do realize you had absolutely nothing to do with winning those tickets, right, Reese?”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“We’re basically as close as a sixth and eighth grader of the opposite sex can be without dating each other.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“It was pretty gross. The Calvin was, like, dripping hot coffee. And we were like, “What are we going to do?” And James was like, “Let’s take a picture—maybe it’s under warranty.” REESE And I was all, “Dude—how is that helpful? We need it fixed, like, NOW.” So James goes, “Fine. I’ll suck the coffee out.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“was sitting with Sophie Koh, who is awesome and has been my one and only best friend since my original best friend, Meredith Timms, turned into a total Fembot and I had to take a vacation from not only being her best friend, but from even being her friend at all. Which is very sad and tragic, but is a whole”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“everyone on earth picks their nose. That’s just a fact.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“Once Akash set me up with invisibility and taught me some basic killing skills,”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“Ed. Note: if this were a movie, OMINOUS BLACK CAR MUSIC would start here”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“I was totally psyched. I heard if you sit in the front row at a Knicks game, the players will, like, actually sweat on you. That would be SO sweet. Ed. Note: NO IT WOULDN’T (eeeew)”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“be totally specific, it started in the Culvert Prep cafeteria on Monday, September 8th, at approximately 8:27am. That’s when Reese—in front of basically”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“So I went to the kitchen to get a toaster pastry. Because when I am feeling down, a toaster pastry usually helps. Reese and Mom were sitting at the kitchen table.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“But people with good manners never, ever do it in public, or when company is over. Especially when that company is an evil little worm.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“obnoxious comments to the other Fembots, like “I don’t know if we should use the front-row seats on a Deondra concert. I mean, I JUST SAW her from, like, two feet away. Too bad nobody else did.…”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“But the thing is, sometimes you have to stand up for your beliefs. And that’s what I was doing.

This election wasn’t about me.

It was about freedom.

Ed. Note: Reese HAS NO CLUE what that even means (his campaign manager taught him to say it)”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Run for President

“Once Akash set me up with invisibility and taught me some basic killing skills, I deleted StealthViper999—who, I had to admit, was neither stealthy nor viper-like—and created a new avatar, who I called InvisibleDeath. For obvious reasons. At this point, it was Friday afternoon, and most weekends, Reese spends every waking minute (when he’s not at a soccer game) on MetaWorld. So I was all amped up to get my revenge ASAP. But that particular Friday, Reese got a 57 on his math test. Even by my brother’s incredibly low standards, it was such a bad grade that Ms. Santiago made him take the test home to get it signed by a parent. REESE I don’t know what the big deal was. A 57’s still “Very Good.” CLAUDIA I should explain about the Culvert Prep grading system. A few years ago, a bunch of parents complained that letter grades were hurting their kids’ self-esteem. So now, instead of A, B, C, D, and F, our grading scale is “Amazing,” “Spectacular,” “Excellent,” “Very Good,” and “Okay.” Which is totally stupid. Because nothing changed except the names, so if you get a “Very Good” on your report card, your parents have to come in for a special conference with your teacher. And if you get more than one “Okay,” they basically tell you to start looking for another school. Also, I know which parents did the complaining—and I don’t want to be catty or name names, but I can tell you the one thing their kids ABSOLUTELY DO NOT NEED is more self-esteem. Anyway, when Reese brought home his 57 that Friday, Mom and Dad reacted in their usual way, which”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)

“I quoted both Miranda Fleet AND Gandhi.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“Lheeets gheet rheeedy to rhuuuuum-bal.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“The dog is a real .” Ed. Note: can’t use actual word (b/c filthy)”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“I’s all, “FIDDY K IN DA HIZZZZ-OUSE! I’M’A HAMMER DOWN ON DAT!” Dem free tix wuz BEAST, yo.”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Tear Up New York

“He looks AWESOME!”
― Geoff Rodkey, The Tapper Twins Go to War (with Each Other)