Grave Expectations Quotes

“You can’t put people in prison for being stupid. The prisons aren’t big enough.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“Yeah, they totally are. If you ever see someone driving like an arsehole, it’s, like, always an Audi.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“Like most normal people, Claire viewed phone calls the same way she viewed flavored gin: with suspicion, and as a last resort only.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“she was pretty sure she was sober enough that she could safely have another drink. She continued thinking this for some time, until suddenly she noticed it was dark and she was in the queue for a karaoke bar near the seafront.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“Soph swore a lot—like, a lot a lot.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“This was not just a mum. This was an M&S mum.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“Figgy Wellington-Forge opened the driver’s door and unfolded from the car like a sexy deck chair.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“You can’t actually fancy someone you don’t like.” “That is one hundred percent untrue—of course you can.” “Okay, yeah, but you can’t form a proper long-term relationship with someone you don’t like.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“Old, infirm ladies die in their sleep all the time—it’s an occupational hazard of being elderly, exacerbated by how many naps old people take.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“Tristan was making the sort of face some young men do when they look like they want to cry, but direct it all inwards through a heroic effort at repression. It’s the face of someone suffering from a cross between constipation and acute sunburn as they try to blow up a balloon.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“The flat didn’t have a third bedroom, or one of those inflatable mattresses that are only really used at Christmas, and which slowly deflate over the course of the night so that in the morning the occupant is sleeping on the floor anyway.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“Individual plastic bags were the sort of thing that killed dolphins and ducks, but dolphins and ducks were both sexually deviant creatures, in Claire’s opinion, so she didn’t feel particularly aggrieved about the comics.”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations

“Didn’t you say everyone who has an Audi is a dick, though?”
― Alice Bell, Grave Expectations