Freaky Briefs Quotes

“During this pandemic you can’t be next to people who are screaming. They’d be sending microscopic particles toward your face at a high velocity. Maybe you could use, I don’t know, a sword or something?” “They don’t make six-foot-long swords.” “You could duct tape two or three of them together.” “Do you know how awkward that would be?” asked Hank. “And how the hell do I sneak up on somebody when I’ve got three swords taped together? Being the Soupville Stabber is about stealth. Nobody’s going to hang around in a dark alley if some guy in a scary clown mask is dragging a six-foot sword.”
― Jeff Strand, Freaky Briefs: 75 Short Absurdities

“Tug tended fire which cook him,” said Gorp. “Cruel irony.”
― Jeff Strand, Freaky Briefs: 75 Short Absurdities